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Volume 1134 - Coultergeist

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 Wednesday   Aug 13, 2003 

 That story about having my arm amputated?
 My arm feels like it's about to fall off, but amputation is not on the table.
 That was just a lil' joke.

 Old time readers might remember, we got a touching note from Sandy Hackett, Buddy's son.
 He said thanks for saying nice things about my dad (my words) and one thing I mentioned was
 the very famous off-camera joke that Buddy told to Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show.

 It was kinda that same joke, but it wasn't his arm that was about to fall off.


"There's a cancer somewhere in the Bush administration. Two officials revealed national security
  information to embarrass or scare critics of the administration's mishandling of Iraqi intelligence...
  It's illegal for government officials to reveal the identities of CIA operatives who have worked
  overseas within the preceding five years...The White House has said it doesn't condone leaking
  an agent's identity. But the administration must try to identify, fire and, possibly, prosecute those
  responsible. Abuse of national security for political aims is wrong. Until Congress and the public
  know that there has been an unfettered inquiry into the handling of intelligence, the administration
  will face growing distrust."
     -- Editorial, Seattle-Post-Intelligencer Attribution

 Franken Mocks Fox Whore Lawsuit 

  Click  Here

 Fox alleged that Franken was "either intoxicated or deranged" when he attacked
 the network and the O'Reilly whore at a recent press correspondents dinner.
 The lawsuit also says that Franken has been described as "increasingly unfunny."

"As far as the personal attacks go," Franken responded, "when I read `intoxicated
 or deranged' and `shrill and unstable' in their complaint, I thought for a moment
 I was a Fox commentator.  And by the way, a few months ago, I trademarked
 the word `funny.' So when Fox calls me `unfunny,' they're violating my trademark.
 I am seriously considering a countersuit."

 Al's letting them off easy.  This isn't even a real lawsuit.
 FOX should be fined for wasting the court's time.

 If we ever get big enough for FOX to come after, we'll treat them like we treated that
 sex-with-the-dead Weiner, Laura the Unloved and her abortions, the vulgar Pigboy and
 his obsessions with mocking people of color etc. We'll give them the glaring red-ass and
 send them home with multi-colored skid marks, begging for some of Barney's salve.

 Bart, you said:

> If Davis resigns and that Bustamonte guy becomes governor,
> Parts One and Two become moot, according to know-it-alls on MSGOP.

 I guess the know-it-alls on MSGOP don't really know everything.

 At this point, it doesn't matter if Gray Davis resigns or not.  The recall vote will
 proceed as planned.  Bustamonte would be acting Governor until the election,
 and then as soon as it is certified, the person winning on Part Two would then
 become the Governor, and Bustamonte would go back to being Lt. Gov.


 RJ, sounds like you heard different talking heads than I.

 I never claimed to be an expert on Callie election laws,
 I just mentioned something they're saying on the cable shows.

 Study of Bush's psyche touches a nerve 

  Click  Here

 A study funded by the US government has concluded that conservatism can be explained psychologically
 as a set of neuroses rooted in "fear and aggression, dogmatism and the intolerance of ambiguity".

 As if that was not enough to get Republican blood boiling, the report's four authors linked Hitler,
 Mussolini, Reagan and Rush Limbaugh, arguing they all suffered from the same affliction.

 The authors also peer into the psyche of President Pinhead, who turns out to be a textbook case.
 The telltale signs are his preference for moral certainty and frequently expressed dislike of nuance.

"This intolerance of ambiguity can lead people to cling to the familiar, to arrive at premature conclusions,
 and to impose simplistic cliches and stereotypes."

 Nothing new there...
 Reagan and Pinhead never doubted their decisions, not even when evidence proved them wrong.

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"The media are going to pile on him. I think the media have a sheep-like mentality. The political press
  in California have been very, very lazy in recent years. They did not cover the budget disaster last year.
  If you look at the coverage, you cannot find any real in-depth coverage. They have a guilt complex about
  what's going on, and they are going to do a big pile-on on Schwarzenegger, because he is the front-runner.
  That's how they handle front runners, and they have their guilt to bring into it, so they're going to be -- I
  predict a lot of bias and a serious attack on everything -- every little bobble that he does they are going
  to go after it big time. It's going to be a media pile-on."
       --Jill Stewart, CNN Reliable Sources,

 Arnold's friend Kenny Boy Lay
  from Joe Conason's Journal

  Click  Here

 What California voters may no longer remember, however, is that after the third wave of
  rolling blackouts hit their state, Kenny Boy quietly summoned a select group to the Beverly
  Hills Hotel on May 11, 2001. And they may also have forgotten that one of the prominent
  Republicans who showed up at Lay's request was Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Hit "refresh"

 Nader Hit With Pie During Calif. Event

  Click  Here

 The show of political support at the Green Party's San Francisco headquarters took an
 unscripted turn Tuesday when a prankster burst into the room and slammed a cream pie into Nader's face.
 The culprit fled through a side door.

 Camejo later suggested the pie assault was the work of Democrats.

 First, this is not funny.
 Repeat - this is not funny, and I don't want to hear any laughing.

 Second, Democrats don't have the courage to pull off something like this.

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 If your e-mail address ends with .edu  you can get members priviliges for just $5 a month.
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 Still working on that AARP thing...

 Is membership  worth $5 a month when you're on a tight budget?

 I wonder how we could police an A.A.R.P. discount, too?
 The Social Security and "fixed income" people might like 
 Have a question, a sound file or a comment?

  Email Bart

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 A Warning Shot
 London temps may be typical in ten years

  Click  Here

 It hit 100.2 degrees in London, England yesterday. Here in the US, that wouldn’t be major news, since every
 state in the Union, including Alaska, has experienced triple digit readings. But England is a cold and damp place.
 I lived in London for three years, and it never got above 85 in all that time. The average daytime high in August
 is a hair under 70F (21C). This time, they set an all-time record, and their records go back to 1659.

 If your life's not complete without a replica of the bombed-out Murrah Bldg in OKC
 click on it and the link will take you to a place where it's just $99 - cheap.
 Limited Edition, so get yours before they run out.

 You can put it next to your "Bush the Fighter Pilot" doll.

 Big Dog to the Rescue
  Click  Here

 Mr. Clinton, who himself survived a recall effort of sorts, has over the past week
 become one of Davis's main strategic advisers, associates of the two men say.

 Big Dog met privately with Davis in Chicago last week, offering a political tutorial
 on how to kick monkey ass without even trying.

 1. Act like a Governor
 2. Make the fight about the recall, and not about you
 3. Do not get baited by the whore media into a fight with Musclehead

Marty's E! page
A special 'Disinfotainment Today' bonus from Michael Dare
Harper's Weekly Review
Arnold & his passion
Kennywood (it's a PA thing)
Equal time, Arnold, Gary Coleman (who played an 'Arnold')
& Lazlo Toth (AKA Don Novello/Father Guido Sarducci)
Gregory Hines on 'Law & Order' tonight (instead of 'Boomtown')
'Casablanca' + 60 years
Does 'Everybody Love Raymond'?
Jim Lampley, daytime Olympics host
A model airplane flew from Newfoundland to Ireland
Tom Sizemore cried
Ted Williams decapitated
And, Otzi, the Iceman, was murdered


 Subject: Hinckley - bin Laden!!!


 I found a file full of 'Bush' articles (Neil Bush was to have had dinner, the very night
 Reagan was shot by John Hinckley, with John's brother Scott Hinckley and wife).

 Click  Here

 Here's a Sharon Bush quote:

"They (the Hinckleys) are a nice family...and have given a lot of money to the Bush campaign," she said.
"I understand he (John Hinckley) was just the renegade brother in the family. They must feel awful."

 Dude!  Didn't someone say:
"They (the Bin Ladens) are a nice family...and have invested a lot of money in the Carlyle Group," she said.
"I understand he (Osama) was just the renegade brother in the family. They must feel awful."


 Did the B.F.E.E. try to kill Reagan so Poppy could rule officially, instead of behind-the-scenes?

 To answer that, you need to ask another question:
"Would evil men kill to control the world's wealth?

 I say yes, in a fucking heartbeat.


 Can I mention something that will make me seem like a bad person?

 I get lots of mail that says, "You gotta see this," along with a link.
 That's a guarantee that I'll never see whatever it was you sent.
 I have to erase those the second they hit my eye because there's no time.
 You've GOT to put something in the header to explain what you're sending.
 There's no way I can read all that comes in, so chasing a "you gotta see this" is a giant waste of time.
 At least put "Bush doll" or "Condi warned Willie Brown not to fly 9-11."

 Often, twenty people will send the same link about the same story, and there's no time
 to wait for every website to load up all of their giant f-ing pop up ads just to find out this
 is the same story that was sent in by 19 previous readers.
 Also, no matter what the story is, YOU GOTTA SEND THE LINK.
 I'm not going to print ANYTHING without the link, unless it's a joke.

 Also, if you're sending something YOU wrote, put a title on it and pick an excerpt.
 You don't want speed-reading Bart to highlight some irrelevant paragrah, trust me.

 I know, I know - "You've gone Hollywood, you're too good for the little people now..."
 I get that every time I try to streamline things, but what other options do I have?

Cheney learns how to deal with gays

 Parkinson's Drug Side-Effect -- Gambling?

  Click  Here

 A drug given to Parkinson's patients may have an unexpected side-effect -- compulsive gambling,
 U.S. researchers said on Monday.

 An unusually large number of patients taking Mirapex gambled themselves into debt, while patients taking
 other drugs did not, the team at the Muhammad Ali Parkinson Research Center in Phoenix, Arizona reported.

 Dr. Mark Stacy and colleagues studied more than 1,800 Parkinson's patients for a year.
 Of the 529 patients who got Mirapex, (R-Pfizer), eight developed serious gambling addictions.

 Until they prove this beyond a shadow, I'm declaring this to be utter horse-hockey.
 This reminds me of that "study" they did that claimed sick people who were prayed for lived longer.

 No, no, no, no, no.

 I'll buy (and endorse) the gay/creative gene.
 I'll buy the blacks-prefer-hotter-temperatures theory.
 I might even buy the alcohol-gene-passed-on theory...

 But a nerve-degeneratrion disease that makes you want to gamble?  Methinks this "study" needs tighter
 scientific scrutiny.  Maybe when you're told that you're starting the long and painful slide, you decide that
 you've been so damn carefull all your life that you've never lived the excitement of taking a chance.

 And instead of getting drunk and racing motorcycles, you "gamble" with your credit card.

 Y'know, I've been thinking about something for a long time...

 A guy wrote the other day (can't remember if it made the page) and asked if I was really stuck
 with a sad-ass IQ of 64.  And I got to thinking - maybe I don't give myself enough credit.

 Hell, I got me a with dozens of readers, and the perk - if you will - I enjoy the most
 is that I get to say there's not one conservative bastard on the entire Internet who can go
 toe-to-toe with me in a debate in a live chat room.

 ha ha

 Do you know how much fun that is to say, being stupid with an,, wait,

 ....there's something here, ...there's something I'm not seeing...

 I decided to sit on my Jetson's chair and sip on a half-shot of Chinaco Anejo, batch #C12-70AH28208
 (For Chinaco, that's a really short VIN)

 So I did  a few shots, and I came to a decision.
 From now on, my IQ is 164, and I'm a genius, ...not a moron, ...not like they all say.
 Yeah, that's the ticket - I'll be a self-made genius.   Call me "Doc Bart."

 Yeah, ...Doc BartCop, Mr. Know It All, the man who knows everything and doesn't mind saying so.
 Yeah, we'll drive that puppy a few days and see what happens.

 So until further notice, everything I say is carved in granite, like the Pope.
 With my IQ of 164, I'm no longer capable of error.

 I'm the man.

 Yeah, and I want an action figure, just like Dubya, but with a bigger codpiece.

"That's enough of this, have Croffy whack this dude..."

 Subject: Larry Flynt

 When you think about Larry Flynt being gov of California you should remember,

 1. He did as much as the rest of the Democratic party to keep Clinton in office during impeachment.

 2. He's the one who has the names in the Bush abortion scandal,
     he just can't go public because his sources are scared to death.

 3. As Gov, he could easily order all the CHP records on the Bush family released just in time for 2004 elections.

 If I were in California I would be very tempted to vote for him.

 I believe he also outed Bob Livingston for being a whips and chains shoe-licker and revealed that Bob Barr
 murdered his little baby daughter by writing a check to an abortionist - and he's a pro-life mega-monster.

Check  today's

Click to Enter

 Iraq Begins Pumping Crude Oil to Turkey
  B.F.E.E. raking hundreds of millions off the top

  Click  Here

 The reopening of the pipeline marks a key milestone in the bid to rebuild Iraq's vital oil industry,
 opening up the way for crude from the country's large northern fields to reach the market.

 Last month, Iraq began exporting fresh crude oil from its southern oil fields for the first time since the war.

 Remember that recent story that Cheney was showing maps of Iraq's oil fields to their co-conspirators
 when he and Kennyboy were putting together Bush's energy policy?

 It was before 9-11.

 The attacks on the WTC and the Pentagon were the answer to all their prayers.
 You have to consider the possibility that they knew it was coming and let it happen.
 9-11 gave them cover to steal Iraq's oil and take over the wealth of the entire planet.


  Click  Here  to listen to Jon Stewart's take on FOX suing Al Franken

 Subject: Att: Gwen Ifill


 Dear Ms. Ifill,

 Perhaps digesting the dinner you cooked for your close bud Condi has impaired your ability
 to understand and interpret the English language. Or perhaps you've always hankered for a
 psychology degree to find out "what people are thinking" instead of opting for the more
 lucratuve business of shilling for corrupt businesses and politicians.

 In any case, it would benefit the viewers of PBS if you quit the charade of "objective journalism"
 and went to Fox News where you belong.

 All the Best,

 Mike B

 I agree 100 percent.
 I'm so old, I remember when Gwen Ifill had ethics.
 She has turned complete whore, like so many others.
 Like Slappy Thomas and that clown on FOX's Sunday show,
 she has abandoned her race to assist the B.F.E.E. in their illegal takeover.

...while soldiers are dying
...where is the unelected appointee?

He went home to be on vacation - AGAIN,
 The BFEE is making billions off this FAKE WAR.

 Oversexed Conan the barbarian breast mauler

  Click  Here

 Big Screen presenter Anna Richardson also claims that Arnold actually groped her breast during
 an interview for the show. She went to shake his hand, he pulled her on to his knee and said:
 "I want to know if your breasts are real."

 Anna says: "I told him they are an F-cup."

"Before I knew what was happening he circled my nipple with his finger and gave it a squeeze."
 He then said of her triple-D breasts: "Yeah, they are real," Richardson recalled.

 Anna, 29, adds: "I was angry. I wanted to say 'you dirty bastard,' But you can't tell a powerful
 man like him to fuck off. He kept saying how fantastic I looked and staring at my [breasts]."

 Subject: Jeremy Glick


 I think C is wrong.  I'm pretty sure Jeremy Glick was the son of a WTC victim who appeared
 on the Oreilly show representing some group against the war.  Oreilly shouted him down and
 muted him and it was one of the most disgusting things I have ever witnessed on live (i think?) tv.
 I couldn't believe that boy's manners, because I would have given Oreilly the most embarassing
 thing I could think of: a full beatdown on live tv.

 Anyway, the scum even tried to say stuff like "your father would be ashamed of you," etc.
 You've probably seen it before, coz I know you're a lot more in the know than I.


 You are correct!
 The gay karate guy on the plane was Mark Bingham.
 I wish I'd gotten that right the first time.

 Live near Austin?

Check out Larry Monroe
 His five radio programs are broadcast on KUT 90.5 FM Austin and KUTX 90.1 FM San Angelo and RealAudio

   Bluesman Monroe
Also check out

 Bring them Home Now!

 Bring them home now! is a campaign of military families, veterans, active duty personnel,
 reservists and others opposed to the ongoing war in Iraq and galvanized to action by Bush's
 inane and reckless challenge to armed Iraqis resisting occupation to "Bring 'em on."

 Oversexed Arnold the Barbarian
  from Premier Magazine, thanks to mike h

  Click  Here

 A former Schwarzenegger employee recalls another incident from the T2 days. At the time, director James Cameron
 was married but having an affair with one of the film's stars, Linda Hamilton. One evening, while riding in a limo with
 Cameron, Hamilton, and others, Schwarzenegger suddenly lifted Hamilton onto his lap and began fondling her breasts
 through the very thin top she was wearing. The witness says, "I couldn't believe Cameron didn't have the balls to tell
 Arnold to get off his girl. The whole thing made me sick."

 A female producer on one of Schwarzenegger's films tells of a time when her ex-husband came to visit the set.
 When she introduced the man to Schwarzenegger, the star quipped, "Is this guy the reason why you didn't come
 up to my hotel room last night and suck my cock?"

"You mean she wasn't even Mexican?"

 Subject: Supporting the troops


 I'll pay for the first 10 .mils who sign up for their first three months, or $150.


 Dude, that's very generous.
 So if any of you military guys & gals want three months of members privileges,
 send me your .mil e-mail and Brew will pick up the tab.
(So far, only two have signed up for three free months of membership)

 Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
 It now stands at  263 266

That's a guess - the site is down.
 I doubt they forgot to pay their domain fees - I smell a B.F.E.E. rat.

 Apparently it's unpatriotic to count the men Bush is killing.

 Total deaths since the Bloodthirsty Bully said, "Bring 'em On":  5629

  Perhaps 1,100 wounded.
 How much more are we willing to tolerate?

 Note: Believe this figure.
 It's from

In trouble?
 Call the

You have two minutes to speak your peace.

 Subject: Peterson & Geragos

 1. A defense team is free to hire its own expert witnesses.  In California, if a defendant is being defended
 at the expense of the state, the state will also pay a reasonable fee for defense experts.  And since the
 state is trying Peterson with no crime scene, no murder weapon, etc., it is perfectly reasonable to have
 Laci's body examined by a defense expert.  Lee is considered one of the best.
 I'm sure you're right, but I doubt Callie would pay to fly in TWO experts, the tops in their field,
 from Connecticut and Pennsylvania.
 2. Very few criminal defense attorneys ever ask their client, "Did you do this."  The simple reason is that
 an attorney is forbidden by law to perpetrate a falsehood on the court.  If the client responds to the question
 with, "Yeah, sure, I did it," the client is still entitled to a vigorous defense, but the attorney is prohibited from
 arguing the client's innocence.  It is, of course possible, that when Peterson and Geragos met, Peterson asserted
 his innocence on his own, and Geragos believed him.
 I agree.
 3. One of the things that has come out recently is that the police told Peterson early on that if he took them to
 the body, they would not seek the death penalty.  The press has been making the point that Peterson was
 somewhat uncooperative with the police as the investigation progressed.  However, the police statement to
 Peterson shows that Peterson was the primary suspect very early in the case.  When one is the target of an
 investigation, one tends to avoid helping the police kill you.  Even if one had nothing to do with the murder.
 In my view, most of Peterson's "questionable" actions are consistent with someone who knows they are the
 primary suspect, though innocent (i.e., insisting that the police show warrants in order to search, leaving town
 to take oneself out of the constant spotlight, etc.).
 Hope this answers some of your questions.
 Jim Higdon

 Jim, thanks for that.

 Have a good time today - that's an order.

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