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Volume 1140 - Another Lebanon? 

For a liberal helping of world news and views,
visit,  and   get our beautiful bumper sticker!

 Wednesday   Aug 20, 2003 


“The civilized world will not be intimidated. These killers will not determine the future of Iraq."
    --President Notsosmart, who thought the bombing was so important, he cut short his golf game

 He's right - our  killers will decide the future of Iraq, not the local Iraqi killers.

 They told us Bush was 'another Reagan'
  I didn't believe them until Tuesday morning, when I heard the news

                    Reagan's 1983 Lebanon massacre                                                      Bush's 2003 Baghdad massacre

 Bush's good puppy media will be all about Somalia this week.
 They can't afford to have people focus on Bush's Folly that's killing so many people.

 The White House released some horseshit statement that
"This was not an attack on Americans. This was an attack on everyone trying to help Iraq."
 They want you to forget that Bush and Blair tried to murder Iraq against the wishes of the whole world.

 Before the war started, all we heard from Bush was "America might have to go this alone, but Saddam must go."
 Now they use "we" a lot to pretend the UN sanctioned this bloody, illegal invasion.

 We never had any business getting in Bush's stupid fake war in the first place.
 Too bad the Democrats refused to come to work in 2003 and do their fucking jobs.

"This is the work of remenants of Saddam's regime..."


"It's only 118 - it feels comfortable."
 -- an American GI from LA, stationed in Baghdad, who said it often gets to 130,
     so when it's only 118, it feels so much better.

"Sacrifices have to be made...Public service isn't always easy."

 Israel Shocked at Child Toll of Bombing

   Click  Here

 Strollers were scattered near the stricken bus, medics carried away children with
 blood-smeared faces and a baby girl died in a hospital before doctors could find her parents.

 At least five children were among the 18 dead in Tuesday's suicide bombing by a Palestinian militant
 who blew himself up on a Jerusalem bus. Forty children were among more than 100 people injured.

 The attack was the 100th Palestinian suicide bombing against Israelis since the latest round of
 fighting began in September 2000.

 Reminding myself that this is a humor page, think how many Israelis would still be alive
 if they had just taken my advice a year or two back to choose life over their stupid holy sand.

 We realize that David Koresh was insane when he put his kids in danger, but we don't think
 the same about the Israelis who insist on raising their children in a war zone?


 Why is Yassir Arafat still alive?

 I think we should try it without him and see how that goes.

 Paul Newman Is Still HUD
   by Paul Newman

  Click  Here

 Unreliable sources report that the Fox suit has inspired Paul Newman, the actor, to file
 a similar suit in federal court against the Department of Housing and Urban Development,
 commonly called HUD. Mr. Newman claims piracy of personality and copycat infringement.

Colin Powell, after the 1983 Lebanon massacre
Twenty years later, he's Bush's "boy"

 VCR Alert - Tonight - World Poker Tour

 from Paris, the world's top players play the Cadillac of games on The Travel Channel tonight.

 This show has more personality than the WSOP. Watch tonight ans see.
 You should learn by watching the pros, especially if you expect to be in a Hold 'em tourney some day. (cough)
 It's mostly like regular poker, but the betting is a whole other world.

 Good news and bad news.
 They lied, last night was not the finals of the World Series.
 With any luck, that'll be next Tuesday.

Please CLICK to visit our sponsors

 The talking TV monkeys keep marveling at "the level of sophistication" involved
 in driving a cement truck full of explosives into a hotel and killing dozens of people.

 What the hell is sophisticated about that?

 For this to happen, you only need three things:
A big truck - doesn't even have to be yours, you just steal it
a religiously insane bastard who wants his 72 virgins cause he can't get any on Earth
a whole lotta dynamite, which seems to be in great supply in crazy countries

 Where is the "level of sophistication" they're talking about?

 I'll tell you what I think is going on.
 Our military got fooled by a handjob in a truck and that makes Bush look extra-stupid (is that possible?)
 So, Bush's good puppy press is making this cheap-ass attack out to be some "sophisticated scheme"
 to further scare people into turning over their civil rights to different religiously insane people like Ashcroft.

 More stickers have arrived

 Get yours, then send in a picture of where you put it.
 (Please don't vandalize anything with these stickers)

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 We'll give away a prize each month for Best Sticker Placement.
 Maybe a Brooke Burke calendar or a copy of Joe Conason's new book.


 Send in your sticker pics - win big prizes.


 Despite his vow last year to bring bin Laden to justice "dead or alive" for 9-11.
 Bush said he no longer spent much time worrying about what had happened to him.

"Terror is bigger than one person. He is a person who has now been marginalized.
 His host government has been destroyed. He's the ultimate parasite who found
 weakness, exploited it and met his match."
   -- President Weak, Stupid and Bloody

"Met his match?"    Meaning you?
 You can't catch him and he's laughing at you while recruiting new suicide killers.

 Sorry Smirk.
 Until you kill or capture your old partner Osama, he's gotten the best of you.

 DreamWeaver - to make you a member, I need your e-mail address.

 Nancy Grace

 BC, you wrote:

 I find it amazing that Peterson is seen as guilty beyond all doubt to these women because:
his "charm" is deemed "superficial"
his lying is seen as "pathological"
the lack of remorse?  I'll give them that one, mostly to save time.
they've deemed him a man with a "lack of skill," which needs to be explained.
his "affect" is "shallow," whatever the hell that means
he had at least one affair, so that's further proof that he's a sociopathic killer.

his "charm" is deemed "superficial"
    Of course it is - he's a salesman.
his lying is seen as "pathological"
    Of course it is - he's a salesman
the lack of remorse?  I'll give them that one, mostly to save time.
     People express remorse in a thousand ways.  One should ask Nancy Grace how she genuinely expresses remorse.
they've deemed him a man with a "lack of skill," which needs to be explained.
     What does lack of skill mean, and in regard to what?  He's a "skilled" salesman which is reflective
     of the fact that he's created two successful businesses.
his "affect" is "shallow," whatever the hell that means
     Of course it is - he's a salesman.
he had at least one affair, so that's further proof that he's a sociopathic killer.
    This is the Clinton prosecution technique.  "See!  They have a semen stained dress!
    That proves Clinton murdered hundreds of people, is a serial rapist, stole millions, and committed treason."

    Jim H.

 Subject: I need help

 I've done every search I can think of to find the source of this line from Duh-Bya -
 "I truly am not that concerned about him."   (bin Laden)

 I need to source it to stop from looking like a dumb ass with a ditto-monkey and his crowd.
 Maybe one of your readers can help?  I know you had a source linked to it when you first
 published this new spin on Osama, but after reading 200 pages of your site and search after
 search, I can't find the source.

 Please help


 By contrast, Bush downplayed concern on the whereabouts of Osama bin Laden.
 "I truly am not that concerned about him."

 Proof is at

 Thanks to Tim H

 Brit press: Musclehead’s groping and affair
 When will the U.S. media report this Republican sex scandal the same way it reports Democratic ones?
  by Jackson Thoreau

  Click  Here

 Say what you want about the British media’s fascination with sexual scandals, but at least the press there
 is consistent, giving fairly equal coverage to the extramarital affairs by both Republicans and Democrats.
 Meanwhile, the U.S. media continues to ignore reports of California Gov. Wannabe and Groper Arnold
 Schwarzenegger’s extramarital affairs and groping sessions.

 That gives more credence to the notion that the American media reports on such aspects of a politician’s
 character mostly if they involve Democrats. If Schwarzenegger was a Democrat running for office and not
 a Republican with the blessing of the White House, CNN and Fox and MSNBC and others would be
 doing 24-hour coverage on his extracurricular sexual activities.

"I don't like this Thoreau guy - have Croffy whack him..."

  FOX News gets oral with Al Franken

  Click  Here

 Oral arguments have been scheduled for Friday for the Fox News Channel's lawsuit
 against humorist Al Franken. "The extra printing is definitely a result of the interest
 generated from the lawsuit," said Penguin spokeswoman Lisa Johnson.

 Subject: Arnie's penis

 I've been following your page all summer.
 My dad turned me on to it and I've found it both hilarious and informative.

 My concern lately has to do with the attack on Arnold's penis.
 If this is a valid point of contention with Scharzenegger's ability to be gov,
 then the focus on Clinton's penis was valid too.

 Personally, I think there are for more "valid" ways to mock Arnie's campaign.
 Thanks for the great site,

 Tracy, if Clinton went around bragging in interviews about his "Milton Berle problem,"
 I would say he's not fit to hold public office, but he never did that - but Musclehead did..
 All men have a penis so yeah, by itself, it's not a political issue, but the grabby, oversexed
 Musclehead wants girls to know (or think) he's got a monster in his pants.

 Deb in North Kingstown

  "Hey!" from Mark and Bart

 My computer might be done as early as tomorrow.
 Meanwhile, remember that Sam is here to help you get in the Members section.
 If you haven't been notified by the automated system of your login and password,
 send Sam another e-mail and she'll get you in.  She works hard, that Sam.

 Subscriber help

 Can't get in?   Click  Here  to reach Sam

 If you should be in the members section, but aren't, write to Sam and tell her if you subscribed by
 2Checkout,  PayPal  or  snail mail.  She'll fix you up.

 Students, teachers, military

 Reminder: will pay for three more .mils to be members for 90 days

 If your e-mail address ends with .edu  you can get members priviliges for just $5 a month.
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 Is membership  worth $5 a month when you're on a tight budget?


"Liberal policies made America the freest, wealthiest, most successful and most powerful
 nation in human history. Conservatism in power always threatens to undo that national
 progress, and is almost always frustrated by the innate decency and democratic instincts
 of the American people...

 If your workplace is safe; if your children go to school rather than being forced into labor;
 if you are paid a living wage, including overtime; if you enjoy a 40-hour week and you are
 allowed to join a union to protect your rights -- you can thank liberals. If your food is not
 poisoned and your water is drinkable -- you can thank liberals. If your parents are eligible
 for Medicare and Social Security, so they can grow old in dignity without bankrupting your
 family -- you can thank liberals. If our rivers are getting cleaner and our air isn't black with
 pollution; if our wilderness is protected and our countryside is still green -- you can thank liberals.

 If people of all races can share the same public facilities; if everyone has the right to vote;
 if couples fall in love and marry regardless of race; if we have finally begun to transcend a
 segregated society -- you can thank liberals. Progressive innovations like those and so many
 others were achieved by long, difficult struggles against entrenched power. What defined
 conservatism, and conservatives, was their opposition to every one of those advances.
 The country we know and love today was built by those victories for liberalism -- with the
 support of the American people.
     -- Joe Conason


 Portland, Aug 21st

 Bellevue, Aug 22nd

 Tacoma, Aug 22

 Seattle, Aug 23rd

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Marty's E! page
Disinfotainment Today' - part 2
Hank Azaria won another Emmy
Elvis & 'I'm A Roustabout'
ABC canceled both of Roseanne Barr's shows
Satellite TV is cheaper than cable
7th posthumous Tupac album
Erik Estrada in the news
And, China's giant gerbil problem


 Subject: GUNMEN???

 Bart wrote:

 "I heard somewhere that passengers were almost instructed to call loved ones.
  It would be damn tough to make a clandestine phone call with four armed gunmen watching."

 Armed gunmen???  I thought they were wielding BOX CUTTERS?  Now they have guns, too?
 This flight gets more exciting everytime they tell the story.

 Craig in STL

 You're right - "Armed men" would have been accurate, not gunmen.  regrets the error.


"To have a preemptive war, you have to have had a significant threat. It has to have
  been so imminent that you couldn’t wait. And ...there has to have been no alternative
  but to have used force. In those three cases, the administration failed to make its case
  before going in and it has failed since the war to have established that case.
    -- Wesley Clark to MSGOP's Joe Scumborough

 From: Tony L

 Subject: Hambali's detention

 Just a quick note to say I agree with you that if torture is being practiced on
 Guantanamo it must be stopped.  I don't care what these people know, you
 don't turn 227 yrs of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness into a mockery
 because you're afraid.  We have a right to know what is happening in Cuba.

 I thought the US stood for better.  But Smirk, his puppet masters and all their minions
 could give a shit as long as they rule the world, which of course is what they think is best
 for everyone.  The religious right agrees so the Bushies have their oracle while we get the noose,
 us and the other 6 billion people on the planet.

 Just so you know: I am a Christian and support the death penalty for ultra-heinious crimes
 where guilt is absolutely certain.  Law is law but abuse of authority is fascism.
 I just hope our country wakes up in time.

 Tony, I think we agree, but I'm not sure.
 If Hambali really is a top Al Qaeda and knows of coming attacks,
 I don't mind if they give him a bad time in Cuba.

 The trouble is, the B.F.E.E. doesn't have America's interests first.
 They are all about using 9-11 to rape the Treasury and take over the world.

 Terror attacks and infrastructure

  Click  Here

 We joke among ourselves that its lucky we just like looking and taking pictures,
 because if we wanted to it would be child's play to totally shut down virtually any city.
 There are just _too_many_ critical services exposed in too many places, almost all of them
 with little or zero security (and virtually impossible to provide security.)

 Is the gay gene connected to the color-blind gene?
 Is it connected to being left-handed, red haired or tall?
 Is there anyone out there with some stats on this, stats we can trust?

 All the advances we've made on DNA, we still can't pinpoint the gay gene?

 Wish I had a science-leaning gay or lesbian point person for questions like this.


"It's been a bad day for the UN..."
  -- Brit Hume, doing all he can to protect Bush

 Yeah, it was - for trusting President Monkey to protect them in a war zone.


 Lying, thieving Monkeyhead said, "We'll have to look at it and determine whether or not
 our grid needs to be modernized.  I happen to think it does, and have said so all along."

 According to Bob Graham, "Just two years ago, Bush and his allies in Congress blocked
 a Democratic proposal to invest $350 million in upgrading America's electrical grid system.
 The blackout is further evidence that America needs to invest in its infrastructure."


 How can you tell Bush is lying?
 Cheney's lips are moving.


 The American press will never hold Bush responsible for anything.
 The scared Democrats are the same - too frightened to speak.

 From:  Robert Simon

 Subject:   Michael Savage is...

 right on....

 All we hear about in the Media is stupid gay men, baby-killying feminist hypocrites,
 and racist goofballs who love Affirmative Action and condemning white culture while
 celebrating their own degeneracy...

 America First Party,
 Robert Simon

 Robert, have you been struggling with these gay feelings a long time?
 Sounds to me like you're trying to suppress.

 Also, you forgot to close with "Heil Hitler,"
 They don't like it when you do things half-way.

 Arrogance of empire

  Click  Here

 The Iraqi mess is the direct result of old fashioned US/British imperialism. The misery in New York
 and surrounding cities was caused not by terrorism - as many people there hastily assumed - but by
 capitalism, in particular its historic failure sufficiently to invest in unprofitable services that most people
 need. For a fleeting moment, likely to be repeated in the future, the citizens of Iraq and the US
 simultaneously became victims of the reckless greed of corporate America.

 Actually, we're all victims of the B.F.E.E., but I know what he's saying.

 Subject: Pigboy's bombing comments


 Pigboy went off on a hideously sarcastic rant about the UN bombing yesterday.
 Comments like "Now the terrorists will incur the wrath of Kofi Annan", and things of that nature.
 It was tremendously callous and mean-spirited.  Even more amazing, none of his sickening acolytes called him on it.

 It's amazing to listen to this asshole, Coulter, Hannity,etc. called liberal comments about the President 'vicious' and 'harmful'.
 Do they ever bother to read the venom they spew?

 Thank you for providing a great forum for the other point of view.
 Des M.

 My AM radio is down until my computer gets back, but I head some Rush when I went to the PO box.
 He was going on and on about SUVs, one of his favorite subjects. Then he came back with the news
 that the UN guy had died, and I could hear the sarcasm in his voice. I could tell he wanted to say that
 the guy "had assumed room temperature," but he was smart enough to bite his tongue.

 The irritation was evident everywhere from Pigboy to FOX to MSGOP.
 They know this is another huge black eye for the Idiot-Thief, but of course, they'd never say so.

Football's around the corner, the pennant races are heating up,
Mr. Perfect tries to fight off the BartCop Hex, and Ted Williams' head
is in a lobster pot.  It's beginning to feel like fall...
Check it out at...

Click to Enter


"Conason said-quote-”I just want people to pay attention and ask questions and not
  accept what I call conventional idiocy on TV and radio." Conventional idiocy?
  So why is it that more people listen to Rush Limbaugh than anybody else in radio history?
  All I’ve got to say is, there are a lot of idiots out there."
    - -MSGOP's Joe Scumborough, finally getting one right

 He's right. There's almost enough idiots to legally elect a Republican moron to the presidency

 Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
 It now stands at  269 286

 The Pentagon released new figures, reflecting the wounded who have since died.

 Total deaths since the Bloodthirsty Bully said, "Bring 'em On":  65+

  Perhaps 1,100 wounded.
 How much more are we willing to tolerate?

 Note: I wish they had a "Contact us" so I could ask them to update their figures.
 It's from

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 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had  everything.

 Copyright © 2003,

 No wonder Shirley hasn't called yet.
 She was waiting until her voice was perfect.

 Shrl - call The BartPhone,  just to say "Hi!"
 Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!

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 That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at the Vegas Hard Rock on your next American tour.  and BartCop are trademarks of painfully unfunny "humor."

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