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Volume 1141 - Cheap-ass vendetta

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 Thursday   Aug 21, 2003 


“O'Reilly won't have me on his show - he's a coward."
    -- Smoking Joe Conason.   Attribution

(This is a loooong radio interview w/ some Rush wannabe in Iowa.
 It starts at 53 percent thru the looong file. Joe tears this guy apart.)

 So why won't O'Reilly have Conason on?

 We can only assume, using O'Reilly's rules, that he's scared-ass, pink-tutu, panty-waist coward.

"I'm afraid of Joe Conason!"

 I think everyone should write to punk O'Reilly and ask why he's afraid of Joe Conason.

 Whore court gets one right
  Bush Court Rejects 10 Commandments Appeal

  Click  Here

 The Supreme Court refused Wednesday to block the removal of a Ten Commandments monument
 from an Alabama judicial building, rejecting a last-minute appeal from the judge who installed the display.

 The high court was Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore's last hope to avoid a federal judge's midnight
 deadline to remove the display. Other state officials have said the monument would be moved.

 Damn, I wish I had a microphone because this would work so much better verbally.

 First, you'd have to be an idiot to set a midnight deadline.
 Why the hell didn't they make the deadline noon?

 And what's wrong with these religious freaks that they have to wave their religion around like a flag?
 I think they're scared to death that they have the wrong God, or maybe deep down they know He
 doesn't exist, so they build heavy granite monuments so their friends can weigh in and remind them
 that they, too, believe in this particular sliver of superstitious insanity.

 Religion belongs in churches, not courthouses, and I'm here to state for the record that anyone who
 disagrees with that isn't comfortable with their religion so they need peer assurance - and that's that.

 If it's so damn important for these weak people to have their granite rabbit's foot,
 why don't they pressure McDonald's to see "Ten Commandment" burgers?
 Why not pressure Coke and Pepsi  to sell "Ten Commandment" colas?
 Why not have a law that forces the Ten Commandments to be featured in every book,
 TV show and movie that's made in America?

 After all, it's important to the weak to have their lucky charm, right?

 Keep in mind that I'm not attacking religious people here...
 I'm attacking people who can't make it thru the day unless they know there's a chunk of granite
 somewhere in Alabama that has the Commandments carved in it and that's just totally illogical.

 If these phonies wanted to be closer to Jesus or whatever they could wear a tiny cross as a
 necklace and touch it when they feel they need to, but nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

 That's not good enough, the stage isn't big enough, the spotlight isn't bright enough.
 They want to be seen praying, so other weak people will know they are "true Christians."

 Of course, it was a field day for Nazi AM radio.
 Each and every one of them had bovine triplets yesterday.
"What has this nation become?" they'd catterwall to the stupid and the weak.
"How can we be America if we don't force the religion of the majority on the minority?"

 That's utter bullshit, howash, hooey and horseshit.

 You like God #66 and he likes God #88 and she likes God #142.
 Why in the hell do we want Bush's tank and guns behind one of those Gods?

 Religious people can't get their mind around the idea that tanks and armies shouldn't be needed when
 an individual is trying to pick a God to judge him when his eternal soul knocks on Heaven's Pearly Gates.

 Do you think Emporer Bush would do any better job of handling religion than he has the war or the economy?

"God talks to me - tells me who to kill... no, really...
  ...but sometimes I do a little killing on the side, just for fun."


"Any external display of personal religious belief within the confines of public exercise of law
  is simply wrong in our country," he wrote. "Choosing one eliminates others. When prayer in
  schools is advocated, for example, how many people seriously think this will include the Catholic
 'Hail, Mary' or the Jewish 'Shema, Yisrael,' or the Muslim Arabic chant, 'God is most great'?
  Making religious issues private protects all of us in public."
    -- Rev. David Tokarz of Montgomery, AL     Attribution

 'Chemical Ali' in U.S. Custody - again?

   Click  Here

"Chemical Ali" has been captured, U.S. officials swore Thursday.
 They also swore he was killed in April in an airstrike on a house in southern Iraq.
 But Gen. Richard Myers, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, told reporters that they
 were just "funning" when they said he was dead in April because "we needed some victories."

 The American press lets Bush get away with capturing the same guy five times.
 Each "capture' of the same son of a bitch is more proof of what a great wartime hero Bush is,
 and aren't we lucky that the Supreme Court appointed him over the wishes of the voters?

 Is anybody else getting sick of this?

 I'm so old, I remember when America had a free press, and I'm sure it was free because they
 printed every salacious accusation Drudge and Limbaugh could fabricate about our last elected president.
 But somehow, the never-elected Monkey gets a free pass to murder, invade other countries and rape
 the Treasury until it no longer exists and the press looks the other way to provide cover for the Chimp.

 Hex on thee!   Hex on thee!   Hex on thee!

 Let's see how well you do with the BartCop Hex on your smarmy ass...

 Subject: stop liar stop

 Too many kiddies have been taught by their unethical teachers and profs
 that repubs started the vietnam war and lib antagonists ended it.

 Nixon ended it.


 Carson, you poor confused bastard.
 I've never said that, so why call me a liar?
 Is that how the wrongheaded people rack up "victories?"

 Nixon promised he'd bring the boys home in the 1968 campaign.
 Five years and 20,000 lives later, the left pressured him to end the war.

 Nixon was an evil crook.
 Right now, he's in hell - where he belongs - blowing Tim McVeigh.

 FBI agrees with Bart
  Says Iraqi "crude" bomb showed little expertise

  Click  Here

 While the Pentagon, and Bush, his whore press and hundreds of TV Bush cabana boys
 were marveling at "the level of sophistication" on the cement truck bomb, the FBI
 agrees with Bart that the bomb was compiled without "any degree of sophistication."

 If only our government was as honest and sharp as Ol' Bart...

Please let Bart get his mic back today...


"Fox and the Murdoch empire, they are great at helping to sell books on the left.
 They tried to hold my book up after Sept. 11, ‘Stupid White Men’ and in fact they
 threatened to shred it.... but the publicity they gave it by doing that catapulted it to #1.
 They’ve done the same thing for Al Franken. They’re the best friend the left has ever had.”
     --Michael Moore

 With new law, GOP routs Democrats in fundraising

  Click  Here

 Four years ago, the two parties were at rough financial parity. But under the new campaign-finance law
 — championed, ironically, by most Democrats and opposed by most Republicans — the GOP has built
 a better than 2-to-1 advantage. When the Democrats' debt is taken into account, the gap grows to 4-to-1.

 The problem isn't the new law - it's the new Democrats.
 They don't want to win.

 They're afraid they might anger Mr. Rove, so they're content to sit in the corner and quake like bunnies.
 They have no desire to win, they have no reason to win, they have no motivation to win.
 They want nothing more than to praise the Unelected Bastard, because that's what Mr. Rove wants.

 I am so sick of writing this - I wish the truth was something besides what it is.
 We can't get a democrat to come to work.
 They're just too scared.

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"The thinking goes something like this. These guerilla engagements we're seeing in Iraq may not be such a bad thing.
 What we're doing is attracting all the terrorists to Iraq (i.e., like "flypaper") so that a) they won't be attacking us in
 America and b) we can fight them there on our own terms. As Andrew Sullivan put it early this month, "Continued
 conflict in Iraq, in other words, needn't always be bad news. It may be a sign that we are drawing the terrorists out
 of the woodwork and tackling them in the open."
    --Joshua Micah Marshall, Andrew, it a good thing that we're losing two soldiers a day?
 Aren't you late for some unprotected anal sex?

 Subject: NYPost acknowledges Bartcop's efforts (indirectly)

 An op-ed piece in the NY Post Wednesday August 20, 2003 complaining about the "double standard"
 of the press relative to individuals voicing their opinions against presidents past (Clinton) and present (Bush Jr.)
 noted the existence of many "left-wing hate sites" calling Bush a murderer, referring to the Bush family as
 the "BFEE," spelling "Bush" with a swastika, altering Bush's picture to incorporate a little Hitlerian mustache,
 and generally spewing venom against the idiot. I recognized you immediately even though you were not explicitly named.

 The article is not on their web site so unfortunately I cannot send it to you, but congratulations anyway.
 Keep up the good work!

 The B.F.E.E. certainly exists, by whatever name people want to put on it.
 It's why we're in Iraq, it's why Bush fabricated a phoney WMD crisis, so the bastards
 can steal Iraq's oil and get richer, while we lose an average of two soldiers a day.

 DreamWeaver - to make you a member, I need your e-mail address.

 I can't verify this, but it was sent to me as a screen grab from one of Arnold's early films.

 Only in Callie could a porn star run for governor - and win.

 Hey, Arnold! This Is Serious Stuff
 A tip from Minnesota: action heroes can make terrible politicians

  Click  Here

 Of course, the Terminator is no Jesse (the Body) Ventura. The Body was a troubled soul who
 truly despised politics and the limelight and growled and ranted and threw snits and went and
 sulked in his tent. He was like the turkeys that are bred for white meat and grow enormous
 chests and are unable to walk around on their little ankles and have to be kept in hammocks
 and fed through a tube. He was something of an embarrassment.

 Subject: Jews in Oklahoma

 bartcop wrote:

> Reminding myself that this is a humor page, think how many Israelis would still be alive if
> they had just taken my advice a year or two back to choose life over their stupid holy sand.

> We realize that David Koresh was insane when he put his kids in danger, but we don't think
> the same about the Israelis who insist on raising their children in a war zone?

 How far do you figure Jews should run before they're safe?
 They felt safe in Eastern Europe until the Holocaust.
 They felt safe in Russia until the pogroms.
 They felt safe in Western Europe until rampant discrimination took hold.
 They felt safe in America until they were attacked by McCarthyism, skinhead revolts and Synogogue burnings.

 Jewish racism is alive and well, even in Oklahoma.
 If the Jews must die to defend their right to exist, they will choose to do so in their historical homeland.


 Larry, your question pre-supposes that the Jews must die.
 If their only options were dying in Oklahoma or dying in Israel, I'd agree with you.

 (Lightning knocks me off my ass!)

 But wait!

 If Jews just pretended to be big-time Oklahoma football fans, they'd be safe living here.
 Oklahoma elected the only openly black man in congress - because he played college football.
 In Oklahoma, football trumps racism.  [If McVeigh played football, they might've let him go.]

 If you're black and play football, you can sodomize the governor's blonde, teenage daughter
 on the front lawn of the Capitol, right under the oil derrick and the Okie rubes won't mind.

 You see, in Oklahoma,  it's football, ...then God, '  ...then "We hate Clinton,", wait!

 It's football, ...then "We hate Clinton," ...and then God, ...and then country.

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 Blinded By Faith
  saw it on

  Click  Here

 No matter what happens, Democrats aren't getting the votes of people who believe that
 Bush's selection by the Supreme Court was ordained by God. So ignore the advice of
 consultants praying that you pander to the faithful. You aren't going to out-religion GW
 and the Shiite Baptists down in Texas. More importantly, you might be giving up your
 best line of attack just by trying.

 Atheist Scout Booted from Scouting

  Click  Here

 Given a week to find a god he can believe in, time has run out on Darrell Lambert.
 The Eagle Scout says he has been thrown out of the Boy Scouts because his atheist views
 don't agree with Boy Scout requirements for reverence. Officials at the Chief Seattle Council
 informed Lambert by phone today that he was no longer welcome.

 Late last month, Lambert was given seven to ten days to change his beliefs, and family members
 said the deadline was extended over the weekend. But Lambert said he had been told his registration
 was being returned. "Then I'll get a letter saying I am being kicked out," he told Beliefnet.

 Darrell Lambert was kicked out for standing up like a man and refusing to lie.
 They asked him to swear allegiance to the Invisible Cloud Being and he refused.

 What if you were asked to swear allegiance to the Easter Bunny?
 Would you agree to lie (assuming you're past the Easter Bunny) or would you stand up
 and say, "My principles can't be bought and I'm not swearing to anything I don't believe."

 A shot of Chinaco to this brave man.

 Remember that fan of Mikey the Weiner I had to set straight yesterday?

 He posted this at

 Older gentleman looking for clean-cut wholesome British Babe who looks like
 Olivia Newton-John at the end of "Grease".

 ha ha
 I don't know any man who doesn't want one of those.

 Must be intelligent, ultra-feminine, kind, with good morals, strong religious belief, and a
 strong conviction that a wife should dress ULTRA, ULTRA, ULTRA SSSSEEEEXXXYYY!

 Dude, forget about brains - you'll have to drug her to get her interested in a GOP monkey.
 And, you want a religious woman who dresses like a slut?
 Where's your brains?

 Being moral, does not mean that you have to be dowdy.

 Being Republican does not mean that your knickles drag the ground,
 but that's most often the case.

 Subject: slacker (my title)

 Bart, time for some new radio, dontcha think?


 Dude, great question!
(I hate when they say that...)

 Truth is, that msblast.exe fried my computer.
 Or, it could've been my chainsaw cure that did it...

 I'm doing this on the cheesy laptop.
 I'm going crazy without a microphone.

 Damn, I wish I could've had a piece of AM radio Nazi Rusty Humphries today.
 He's a flyweight, and I'd enjoy the pummel.

 Truth is, God has put a tremendous burden on me, to test me...  putting one hurdle
 after another in from of me, but we will not stop - BartCop Radio will survive!

 ha ha

 (That's my George C Scott's Patton impression.
  I would've liked trading shots of whiskey with Patton.)

 Can you imagine how cool that would be?
 To get into the Waback machine and sit with Patton in some Lyon Le' Bar?
 I don't know all I should about Patton, but I gather he's to Limbaugh's right.

 With His help I will prevail and BCR will return.

 Remember, if Okieboy doesn't deliver, there's no food on my family.

 Remember Richard Pryor in LA County Jail for tax evasion (maybe?)   He said,

"In jail, you either funny or you give up the booty!
  Tell me I  wasn't one funny mother-fucker!"

 ha ha

 So please trust me when I say that nobody wants BCR going more than me.

 Subject: science-leaning gay guy here

 Hey Bart,

 I'm a "science-leaning" gay guy, and an avid (daily now, for the past 2 years) reader of your site.

 I have a background in anthropology (a BA from KU), which probably doesn't make me the most qualified
 person to respond to your request, but I'm told I write better (i.e. more accessibly) than most scientists.

 The "gay gene" debate is far from settled.  Frankly, the very influence of genetics on development and
 behavior is far from settled.  We have made what seems to be a pretty good "map," describing the genome
 itself, but this tells us almost nothing about how the genome works.  It's like having a drawing of your car
 engine: no matter how detailed your drawing is, it won't make the car go, or tell you how it does its thing.

 Genes in action seem -at this point, as I understand it- to be more like transistors (switches that can do
 one thing or another, depending on input) than strict instructions.  While there may be a single gene that
 affects a person's ultimate sexual disposition, there are -without a doubt- countless other influences,
 ranging from developmental environment, to diet, to education, and especially enculturation.

 I'm shocked - you're moving away from the theory of a gay gene?
 Men in small town Oklahoma want to be beaten up on a daily basis?

 Studying anthropology, I became aware of cultures in other parts of the world, in which what we call
 homosexual behavior is not stigmatized, but institutionalized; made part of the very fabric of life and living.
 Boys of one culture in particular are not Real Men until they have ingested semen (because it contains
 the male essence, duh).  Women of another culture are expected to marry another woman if her husband
 dies first.  Sexual behavior is just that: a behavior.  Were you born with the "funny" gene? (I think you're hilarious).

 Talent on loan from the Invisible Cloud Being...

 For my part, I think homosexuality is a result of cultural and environmental factors more than anything else,
 though not exclusively.

 But doesn't that play into the argument that gays shouldn't adopt, because the children would "learn"
 to be gay and be subject to ridicule, beatings and worse?  You're saying some people would consciously
 decide to be gay, knowing it has such drastic societal drawbacks?  I'm getting an education, here...

 Language plays a big part: I know more than a few "straight" guys whose heterosexuality
 would not stand up to scrutiny in the light of day.  They're not "gay," because they don't understand or identify
 with "gay culture," though they prefer the company of -and sex with- men.  Sexuality is a slippery critter.

 ha ha
 Slippery it is.
 How does a man enjoy sex with men and avoid the label of being gay?

 Sidebar:  Vic the racist's favorite joke - "If you rewire a lamp, nobody calls you an electrician.
 If you fix a leaky pipe in the kitchen, nobody calls you a plumber. ...but a soon as you suck one cock..."

 If I say I'm straight, who are you to say I'm not?  Obviously this is hair-splitting territory.  Get a little closer
 to the issue, and you'll see that the line between "gay" and "straight" is not all that well-defined.
 Thanks for listening, and thanks for your great work!

 T Goat

 Dude, that's some scary stuff.
 I want my heterosexual walls to be impenetrable.
 Men love it when a woman has doubts about being straight, but men need rock walls.

 Something tells me I'm going to get some feedback on this subject.

 Click  Here  to send in your thoughts

 More on the subject

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 Portland, Aug 21st  - Protest the Illegal bastard!

 Bellevue, Aug 22nd  - Protest the Illegal bastard!

 Tacoma, Aug 22  - Protest the Illegal bastard!

 Seattle, Aug 23rd  - Protest the Illegal bastard!

 Subject: Bush said the energy grid needs improving?

 When?  Where?  Give us a date, time and place.

 Maybe he told his dogs, but I cannot remember ever reading a public comment in this regard
 until AFTER the black out.  But, will the Whore Media or Whore Democrats call him on this???

 Ha, HA, no, of course not.
 Lying Bastard

 Neil in VT

 They will continue to cover for Bush until after his second term ends.

 Cows will stop chewing grass before an American business gives up a single nickle to tell the truth.

Marty's E! page
Dennis Kucinich on Jon Stewart
'The Hollywood Hustle' by the Artful Dodger
Warren Zevon's new album
'Bowling For Columbine' & 'Roger & Me' out on video
Enrique Iglesias had his mole removed
David Blaine's next trick
Keiko, the whale
And, prime time's top 20. m


 Subject: Is O'Reilly afraid of Conason?


 The scuttlebutt is that you’re avoiding hosting Joe Conason, author of “BIG LIES:
 The Conservative Propaganda Machine and How it Distorts the Truth”.

 Mr Conason has always impressed me as a formidable liberal and I’d think
 you’d be quite enthusiastic to confront one so “worthy of your steel”.
 Instead, I probably should not expect such a match.



 Great point!
 Whenever somebody has the common sense to avoid O'Reilly (like Jesse Jackson)
 The Great Spinner says "They're afraid to come on The Factor!"

 So why won't O'Reilly have Conason on?

 We can only assume, using O'Reilly's rules, that he's afraid.

 I think everyone should write to punk O'Reilly and ask why he's a coward...

 Michael Moore
 Bowling for Columbine

  Click to Order

 Al Franken
 Lies and the Lying Liars at FOX

  Click to Order

 Subject: 72 Virgins

 Hey Bart,

 Is it just me or what?
 There is NO way I would want to be stuck in Heaven with 72 Virgins.
 Just think 10,000 years with the same 72!!!

 ha ha

 That insight into human nature gave Hefner his career, his magazine, his rep.

 The World Poker Tour

 Click  Here

 Did you watch last night?
 They had a player named Paul G (Maybe he owes money?) from Australia.

 He was trash-talking the other players to death. After winning a pot, he'd say to the loser,
 "What's wrong? You don't know how to handle your money?"

 ha ha

 You don't do that to a man who just lost $100,000.
 If he said that to me after he took $100K from me,
 I think I'd ask him if he had a good dental plan.

 Next word out of his mouth would earn him a terrible, swift backhand.

 Bush's 2000 theft costs us $39K each

  Click  Here

 Utilities deregulation pyramid schemes leading to the California disaster and the Great Blackout of 2003?
 FBI surveillance of our libraries?  Anthrax vaccines?  Pension plan gouging?  Selling off our national parks?
 Vote tampering?  Extra jails?  What's all that add up to?  I'm not Einstein.  You do the math.  $980,750,000,000?
 Close enough.


"Take a look at the fruits of the Bush/Neocon foreign policy on a random day, say yesterday.
  OK, there’s the terrorist bombing of the U.N. headquarters in a nation where we are spending
  upwards of $5 billion a month — without any allies save Britain — just to maintain security, not to
  mention the hundreds of billions in reconstruction costs, plus assorted bombings, acts of sabotage
  and guerrilla resistance, resulting, among other things, in the four soldiers wounded in Tikrit...
  U.S. troops are also killing the occasional journalist despite the fact that, in this case, Mazen Dana, 43,
  a father of four, had received permission from a U.S. military official to film on the site. All of the above
  constitutes George Bush’s idea of a “mission accomplished,” which makes a kind of sense, given that
  he was just playing “soldier dress-up” the day he pretended it was true."
    --Eric Alterman, Altercation,

President Monkey

 In Tequila's Layers, Hints of Sea and Spice

  Click  Here

 The least expensive tequilas need only be distilled from 51 percent blue agave juice. The rest comes from
 various other sugars added during fermentation. The more expensive, and many say the best tequilas, are made
 from 100 percent blue agave juice, and those words, 100 percent blue agave, must appear on the label, in English
 or Spanish. Some experts compare differences between mixed and pure tequilas to blended Scotches and single malts.

 No, the differences are night and day.
 Jose Cuervo isn't tequila, so stop saying that.

 Our top-rated tequila, the Chinaco Blanco, garnered three and a half stars overall from the panel. And at $30, it was
 also our best value. Mr. DeGroff was truly excited by it, calling the Chinaco "incredible and lovely." Ms. Hesser
 detected a pleasant seawater aroma while Mr. Asimov went for the complexity. For me it was, simply, a benchmark tequila.

 I tried Chinaco Blanco and it tasted like turpentine.
 If these guy like the Blanco, they'd kill for the Anejo.

Football's around the corner, the pennant races are heating up,
Mr. Perfect tries to fight off the BartCop Hex,
It's beginning to feel like fall...
Check it out at...

Click to Enter


“We are at war with terrorism. It's not a Republican war with terrorism.
  It's not a George W. Bush war with terrorism. It's the US at war with terrorism.
  And for those that haven't noticed it, there is a war out there, and it isn't just
  over there and here, it's everywhere.”
       --Rush, the vulgar Pigboy

 Or, maybe we're paying for Bush's bungled pipeline deal with the Taliban.
 Bush was sending the Taliban money until his pipeline negotiations blew up in mid-2001.
 Remember "a carpet of gold or carpet-bombing, take your pick?"

 If he told the Taliban that we were invading Afghanistan to build his pipeline either way,
 a first strike against New York and Washington isn't hard to envision.

 Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
 It now stands at  271 288

 The Pentagon released new figures, reflecting the wounded who have since died.

 Total deaths since the Bloodthirsty Bully said, "Bring 'em On":  67+

Perhaps 1,100 wounded.
 How much more are we willing to tolerate?

 It's from

 Note: I talked to the Dude over there and he's trying to get straight answers
 from the Pentagon - no, seriously - and he will post the new figures when they come in.

In trouble?
 Call the

You have two minutes to speak your peace.

  Iraq just gets worse, and worse, and worse

  Click  Here

 It's kinda hard to tell who lobbed eggs at your car when everyone on the block wants to scrag your ass.
 And that's the position we're in with Iraq these days.

 There is a new poker update in the members section.

 Also, the people who got a 30-day free period will get another 30 days.
 We didn't plan of being down this long.

 Have a good time today - that's an order.

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 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had  everything.

 Copyright © 2003,

 That's true love - getting a tattoo..
 I can't wait to get your next album and see you on tour!

 Shrl, get well soon! - Call me!  CallThe BartPhone,  just to say "Hi!"
 Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!

 Call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
 That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at the Vegas Hard Rock on your next American tour.  and BartCop are trademarks of painfully unfunny "humor."

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