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Volume 1142 - Whistle Ass

For a liberal helping of world news and views,
visit,  and   get our beautiful bumper sticker!

 Friday   Aug 22, 2003 


 "Just wait till you find somebody like your daddy."
   --Pickles Bush's advice to the twins on finding a husband,
      in an interview with Peggy Noonan (R-Slut) for Ladies' Home Journal,

 Find the stupidest man in the country with a rich daddy and marry him?

 Australia Govt Lied About Iraq Threat

  Click  Here

 The Australian government lied about the threat of Iraq's WMD to justify its involvement in Bush's war,
 an official inquiry into intelligence on Iraq was told on Friday.  "The government lied every time it skewed,
 misrepresented, used selectively and fabricated the Iraq story...The exaggeration was so great it was pure dishonesty,"
 Wilkie, formerly of the Office of National Assessment (ONA), told the inquiry.  The ONA is equivalent to our NSA.

 Blair's in big trouble in Britain, Howard's in big trouble is Australia, and Aznar's in trouble in Spain,
 but that's because those countries have a free press!!!

 In America, we can only get government-approved news, so we can't get the truth.

"You get the news you need to get..."


"Of all the pernicious claptrap emitted by right-wing propagandists, none is more offensive than
  smearing liberals and Democrats as unpatriotic. The portrayal of a liberal elite that despises
  its own country has allowed conservatives to appropriate the flag, the national anthem, and
  other national symbols -- the heritage of every American -- as their movement's private
  property, and to misuse those symbols for narrow partisan purposes. To the extremists,
  anyone who doesn't pledge allegiance to the Republican platform is a "traitor."
     -- Joe Conason,      Attribution

 ...and the biggest reason they've gotten away with that slur is because
 for so many years, the Democrats have failed to fight back.

 Cheap thrills: Bush buys lies to push war
  saw on on

   Click  Here

 Just how cheap and easy are the muckity-mucks of the Bushist Party? How much scratch
 does it take for a high official of the Regime to overrule his own intelligence officers and support
 the Potomac Empire's propaganda line? What's the going rate for selling out the United States
 Constitution and throwing in with the fomenters of aggressive war?


 That's what the Busha Nostra paid Thomas Rider, director of the Department of Energy's
 intelligence agency in "bonuses" for services rendered in the mendacious maneuvering toward war,
 Paul Sperry of the archconservative WorldNet Daily reports.

 Hex on thee!   Hex on thee!   Hex on thee!

 Hey Monkey!
 Let's see how well you do with the BartCop Hex on your lying ass...

Please visit our sponsors

 Subject: carved in granite

 In re: Ten Commandments Memorial, I’ve heard a lot of BS about our Judicial System being based on it.
 If you read ‘em, you’ll note that they have little to do with our constitutional system; nothing about freedom
 of ANYTHING, and mainly oriented to keeping the Jewish faith. Also, most of the founding fathers abhorred
 the bible, and only professed faith in god because they couldn’t figure out how the universe had gotten here
 any other way. Their religion is known as “Deism”, and pretty much died out after modern astronomy, physics,
 and Darwinian evolution found a better way to explain the world. Now, they’d probably be atheists.

 Right wing religious zealots make a lot of noise about god being mentioned in the Declaration of Independence,
 but it was mainly a combination of the nature of formal language and the god of the Deists (disinterested creator as a default position).

 As a Buddhist, could I appeal a conviction from that wing-nut judge on the grounds that his statements
 and that giant paper weight being in the court building constitute religious bias? Just wondering…


 Bob, good point.
 I think anybody convicted of a right-wing Bible-thumper has grounds to appeal.
 What if the judge is as crazy as our Unelected Pinhead, and claimed God *told him* you were guilty?

 The real reason we dropped the bomb on Japan

  Click  Here

 There would be no house to house fighting, with dug in resistance from well
 armed fighters to the death like at Iwo Jima or Corregidor. A starved population
 of no military age males (women, children, and old men) with no houses or
 standing cities was out sharpening sticks to use as spears as their only weapons.
 We had them completely cut off from any mainland resupply of necessities for
 several years, and of oil, from before the start of the war, over four years earlier.


"Going through the morning papers, I scan over the pictures of Arnold's team
  of economic advisors -- not a double X chromosome among them. In a state where
  there are tens of thousands of women in positions of power, including both U.S. Senators,
  there was not even one woman who Arnold thought worthy of adding to the mix?
    --Arianna, from new new blog

 Conan the Deceiver
   by Paul Krugman

  Click  Here

 The key moment in Arnold Schwarzenegger's Wednesday press conference came when
 the bodybuilder who would be governor brushed aside questions with the declaration,
 "The public doesn't care about figures."

 This was "fuzzy math" on steroids — Mr. Schwarzenegger was, in effect, asserting that his
 celebrity gives him the right to fake his way through theelection. Will he be allowed to get away with it?

 If Mr Rove orders the press to support Musclehead, they will, just like they did for Pinhead.

 More stickers have arrived

 Get yours, then send in a picture of where you put it.
 (Please don't vandalize anything with these stickers)

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 OR, you could PayPal a small donation and get your stickers within 48 hours.

 The stickers are free, but donations are accepted.

 We'll give away a prize each month for Best Sticker Placement.
 Maybe a Brooke Burke calendar orJoe Conason's new book.


 Send in your sticker pics - win valuable prizes.


"Dammit, Mr. President - this is illegal!!!"
  --George Schultz testimony, said to Ronald Reagan, about their Iran-Contra crimes

 Subject: Texas Dems Need Our Help

 Something dangerous is happening in Texas.   Tom DeLay (R-Evil) is pushing an
 out-of-the-blue redistricting plan that will remove up to 7 Democrats from congress.

 This is an unabashed power grab, and is trying to stop it.
 For the full story on what's going on, click here:


"I'm nuts about power grabs."

  Bart's anti-religious rants are almost hypocritical

  Click  Here

 Only through accepting Christ as Savior and Lord is someone able to obtain Eternal Life in Heaven.
 As a result, a Christian is motivated and commanded to share what they know with those that don't believe,
 in order to prevent their demise.

 Subject: California's joke

 You know what the California Gov. race is like?

 Its just like Cannonball Run.

 A bunch of 'B' and 'C' level stars brought together for an illegal race set up by a wealthy arab nut (Issa).


 Bartolo Cop
  Xavier, our ambassador to Latin America's first column

  Click  Here

 Welcome Bartcopers to Bartolo Cop. My name is Xavier Hernandez-Miyares and thanks to an invitation from
 our beloved and vital Bart, I will be contributing information and my half of a dialogue on news and information
 that has to do with Latin America. I hope that you will be inspired to write to me and challenge or support the
 information that I will be presenting on this page. I will respond to any comments that you may feel compelled
 to send me at

 Activist Subpoenaed to Grand Jury

  Click  Here

 Northeastern Oklahoma Animal Helpers (NOAH) member Chris Green went to Edmond, OK
 a few months ago and spent a couple of hours handing out leaflets explaining Legacy Trading
 Company's connection with Huntingdon Life Sciences (HLS), an animal testing lab. Now he's
 facing a subpoena to a Grand Jury, as the U.S. government continues to harrass and attempt to
 intimidate activists who appear to have any ties to Stop Huntingdon Animal Cruelty (SHAC)'s
 campaign against HLS.

 This is one of those don't-have-time-to-investigate deals, but if the feds are using The Patriot Act
 to harass people for handing out animal rights fliers, more people need to know about it.

 Subject: separation of church & state


 Just had a conversation with a right-wing friend of mine.  He claims that five-ton chunks of granite with
 the 10 commandments should be mandatory in all courts and government buildings.  When asked about
 separation of church and state he said there shouldn't be any since this was a christian nation (or blather
 to that effect).

 I asked if he was now advocating that churches pay taxes, that portions of the Sunday collection should
 go to the states, and that catholic schools should be regulated and supervised by the states the same as
 public schools.  No way, he said -- there's such a thing as separation of church and state.

 I dunno -- sometimes I think these people actually believe the words that they utter.
 These people are nuts.


 Mick, it's even worse than that.
 Not only do they not pay taxes, their books remain hidden, too.
 These crooked churches and TV evalgelists can be socking away millions
 and they never pay a dime of taxes because the Invisible Cloud Being might be offended.

 They don't even tax the businesses owned by the churches.  Do churches pay property tax?
 After the federal government, isn't the Catholic Church real estate holder in the United States?
 They own square miles of most downtowns, don't they?

 ...and then they plead poverty when caught systematically raping thousands of little boys

 Subject: Is O'Reilly afraid?

 Hey O'Reilly,  after the thrashing you got from Al Franken,
 I can see why you don't want a guy like Joe Conason on The Factor.

 Conason would give you a real, much deserved ass-kicking.
 Surely, a "Great Spinner" like you can handle a little embarrasment?

 Joe H

 I think everyone should write to O'Reilly the Coward.
 Smoking Joe would kick his ass into next week.

What Mitch McConnell will look like in Hell

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 Bellevue, Aug 22nd  - Protest the Illegal bastard!

 Tacoma, Aug 22  - Protest the Illegal bastard!

 Seattle, Aug 23rd  - Protest the Illegal bastard!

Marty's E! page
Martin Sheen is on Craig Kilbourne (CBS after Dave) tonight
2 Rockettes & a camel
The 'Animal House' parade
Jamie Lee Curtis on cosmetic surgery
The 'Star Wars Kid'
Today is National Slacker Day
The post officed stopped 'Operation A.C.'
And, a man in Thailand died laughing


 O'Reilly is afraid of Joe Conason

 He's a yellow as a senate Democrat.


 Whenever somebody has the common sense to avoid O'Reilly (like Jesse Jackson)
 The Great Spinner says "They're afraid to come on The Factor!"

 So why won't O'Reilly have Conason on?

 We can only assume, using O'Reilly's rules, that he's afraid.

 I think everyone should write to punk O'Reilly and ask why he's sych a gutless coward...

 Michael Moore
 Bowling for Columbine

  Click to Order

 Al Franken
 Lies and the Lying Liars at FOX

  Click to Order


 Bill O'Reilly, please have Joe Conason as a guest on your show.
 There are rumors going around that you're afraid of him, that can't be true.

 We all know what a tough guy you are and when he starts spanking you,
 just turn off his mic like you always do.

 At least we'll get to hear him for about 20 seconds.

 Appears the "willing" coalition is getting second thoughts...

 Here is a sample of the small print news magnified for you today at the News Insider:

Annan blames US for UN blast in Baghdad

Canada refuses US request to send troops to Iraq

Japanese troops in Iraq unlikely after UN blast

Spain under pressure to withdraw troops after UN blast

Poland to withdraw troops from Baghdad

Suicide attempts in Guantanamo rise to 31

Illicit arms shipment bound for Iran seized

UK weapons expert Dr Kelly feared for his life

Aid agencies in Afghanistan split over military backing

  Courtesy of

Not sure who this is,
but thanks for the mention!


 I sent an email to 'piss ant' o'really. I told him that Bartcop called him a 'Nazi'.
 I was trying to provoke not, slander the Bartcop good name.
 I also asked him if it was true that he was dating Dennis Miller.

 Also, I informed him that he could sue me if he liked. No response.
 Do you suppose that if one were to send money to him, he might respond?
 Hang in bro. Peace to you.

 The Next Computer Virus could Kill the Internet

 As bad as the current crop of this weeks computer viruses are - they are nothing compared
 to what might follow. The next generation of computer viruses that are likely to come soon as
 three weeks from now might actually take the Internet down and cause massive data losses
 on a scale never been seen before.

 The current virus named "SoBig" installs a back door into the victims computer allowing these
 millions of infected computers to be in an open state waiting to be exploited in the future. It has
 been speculated in press reports that the virus author plans to use it as a launch pad for a
 massive spam attack - but it could be far worse.

 With millions of computers vulnerable - any programmer on the planet could figure out how this
 virus works and use it to launch their own attack. It could be used - for example - to instantly
 spread not only to currently infected computers - but new computers as well and instantly destroy
 all your data - or email your sensitive documents to random people. And your virus protection
 software will have no effect in stopping this because virus software rarely protects computers
 from the lastest newest virus.

 These viruses are a result of flaws in the Microsoft Windows operating system and it's time for
 the world to demand that Microsoft take affirmative steps to deal with this issue. Millions of
 computers are open and vulnerable and if a terrorist were to combine the technologies of SoBig
 with last weeks MsBlaster - they could take the Internet down worldwide.

 We all need to act now to prevent this from happening.

 Marc Perkel

 Did you know...

 Janeane Garafalo has been "On the left" all week for Crossfire?

 Next week, it's Al Franken - all week.

 I wonder if Pig O'Reilly's name will come up?

 Michael Savage is delusional. "Fox would hire me in a minute," the right-wing ranter tells Jake Tapper
 in the September issue of GQ. "And believe it or not, CNN would, too."

 Savage was fired from MSNBC for telling a gay caller to "get AIDS and die." A Fox News Channel
 spokesman told GQ, "Not a chance would we ever be interested in him." CNN won't touch him, either:
"We had not pursued nor are we pursuing Mr. Savage. And we have no interest in him."

 Tapper also reports that anchor Tom Brokaw had expressed concerns to NBC executives about hiring Savage,
 given his history of offensive commentary. For example, while discussing high school programs to feed the homeless,
 Savage, who now has a show on WOR Radio, suggested female student volunteers "go in and maybe get raped . . .
 because they seem to like the excitement of it. There's always the thrill and possibility they'll be raped
 in a Dumpster while giving out a turkey sandwich."


 BartCop: an apparently Tulsa-based heavy-duty blog, complete with sports, entertainment, and a phone number.
 Rant for 2 minutes. Awesome. We need all the non-Party Okies we can get, and we need them united.

Football's around the corner, the pennant races are heating up,
Mr. Perfect tries to fight off the BartCop Hex,
It's beginning to feel like fall...
Check it out at...

Click to Enter


“O'Reilly won't have me on his show - he's a coward."
    -- Smoking Joe Conason.   Attribution

 So why won't O'Reilly have Conason on?

 We can only assume, using O'Reilly's rules, that he's scared-ass, panty-waist.

"I'm afraid of Joe Conason!"

 I think everyone should write to punk O'Reilly and ask why he's such a coward...

 Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
 It now stands at  273 290

 The Pentagon released new figures, reflecting the wounded who have since died.

 Total deaths since the Bloodthirsty Bully said, "Bring 'em On":  69+

  Perhaps 1,100 wounded.
 How much more are we willing to tolerate?

 It's from

 Note: I talked to the Dude over there and he's trying to get straight answers
 from the Pentagon - no, seriously - and he will post the new figures when they come in.

In trouble?
 Call the

You have two minutes to speak your peace.

 Double Quotes

"Memorials in her honor can be made to any organization
  working for the removal of President Bush."
    --line from Sally Baron's obituary,   Attribution

"She thought he was a liar. I think his personality, just standing there with that smirk on his face,
 and acting like he's this holy Christian, that's what really got her. She'd always watch CNN, C-SPAN,
 and she'd just swear at the TV and say 'Oh, Bush, he's such a whistle ass!' She'd just get so mad" 
   --Maureen Bettilyon, Sally Baron's daughter,

 We have some news about the big poker game

 The link is at the top of this page:

 Have a good time today - that's an order.

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Use this portal and they'll throw  four cents.

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  Click to Order

                                  Conason  ......         McDougal      H Clinton                     Franken           ... Hightower         M Moore

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 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had  everything.

 Copyright © 2003,

 Shirley, do you play poker?

 Get well soon! - Call me!  Call  The BartPhone,  just to say "Hi!"
 Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!

 Call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
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