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"We're ready to lay down our lives. Thank God
for Judge Roy Moore."
-- a publicity-hungry Jerry Layne, a Chattanooga preacher in Montgomery, AL
Hey Drama Queen - nobody's life is in danger.
You just made that up to scare the stupid people.
Lay down his life... what horseshit from a liar who wants to steal your money!
Hey Jerry, why aren't you in Chattanooga, stealing money there?
Oh, it's because there are more TV cameras in Montgomery?
And more cameras means more money from the stupid?
What they said on May 1, when the cock o' the walk was strutting his package on the Lincoln:
Then the war blew up in their faces, and they said "We never said what we said."
When the White House published the text of and photos from Bush's speech announcing the supposed end
of the Iraq attack, the headline read: "President Bush Announces Combat Operations in Iraq Have Ended."
But on Tuesday, 19 Aug 2003, the Cursor website noticed that the headline had been changed to read:
"President Bush Announces Major Combat Operations in Iraq Have Ended."
The word "major" had been added to protect his lying ass.
Since the press's job is to protect the Unelected Jackass, they'll
never tell you this.
And since the Democrats are too polite, too scared and too stupid to fight back,
you won't be hearing this from them, either. Why won't anybody else mention this?
And we wouldn't know about it without thememoryhole.com
and the quick eye of Reef the Dog.
We're being lied to every day by a crooked administration and a press on-the-take.
If you think more Bush lies should be uncovered, please consider a donation to bartcop.com
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We will stay after the never-elected, lying bastard and we'll expose his profit-making lies
"Despite my best intentions, a bicycle accident
stopped me from posting yesterday. When I should
have been writing, I was in the E.R. No serious damage done, but my right arm is in a sling and my
left hand is bandaged -- so the typing tends to go slowly. (Just before the crash, I thought I glimpsed
a tall, pasty-looking man in a Fox News baseball cap throwing sand on the bike path, but that could
just have been wishful thinking.)
-- Joe Conason's Journal
"a tall, pasty-looking man in a FOX News cap?"
Joe, was he wearing black bra, panties and stockings?
"I'm a cowardly whore."
Californians for Moral Government is calling on Musclehead to set the record straight over a
1977 interview in which non-thinker discussed taking part in an orgy and using marijuana.
Oh God, the group sex with animals we can forgive, ...but he smoked pot?
If I only had a staff...
Clint Eastwood (R-Wontgothere) wrote an
editorial in the Carmel Pine Cone
that it didn't matter of Musclehead had sex with a horse!
Right after USA Today wrote a big thing
on how "silent" Hollywood was on Musclehead,
Clint wrote in The Cone that "it wouldn't matter if Arnie had had sex with a horse,"
Wherever he is, Paul Harvey just got wood.
should "come clean and fully repent and repudiate the years of sexual promiscuity,"
whined the Rev. Louis Sheldon, a without-peer religiously-insane wacko ...and my new best friend.
What do you think's going thru Maria's mind right now?
Either Maria volunteered for "Hillary duty," which is some vastly formidable shit,
or power-hungry Musclehead told her, "I promise, dere's notting in my paaast."
Poor Maria, she married a dog...
Hex on thee!
Hex on thee!
Hex on thee!
Let's see how well you do with the BartCop Hex on your lying ass...
Laci Peterson Buried
People magazine (of all places) has a report
that the baby might have been born.
That might make the time of her murder a few weeks later than Christmas Eve.
If so, that would further complicate the state's case.
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“The end of the Roadmap is a cliff.”
--semi-Colin Powell, on Middle East peace Attribution
In NYC on September 11, 2001, over 3000 people died unspeakable deaths the likes of which the city
had not seen since the great Triangle fire of 1911. They are not so different, these 2 events nearly a century
apart. It is the behavior of power that has changed. Back then people grieved for a few weeks, then the
collective sorrow of the city gave way to anger and a determination that this kind of senseless tragedy
would never again happen in their city. They would do whatever necessary to stop it. A thorough,
4-year investigation (albeit one outraging hostile business interests) forged ahead with the help of leaders
like Bob Wagner and Al Smith, producing an ocean of information and a raft of reform legislation.
Here for more
"Regulations snuff out capitalism...
...and there's no reason to investigate 9-11 because
Clinton's zipper wasn't involved so there's no crime."
Think what that Bush idiot has done to our armed forces.
Who wants to sign up now for an "Army of One," knowing that idiot
might send you
into a 130-degreee furnace for 18-24 months while your kids are busy growing up?
Who will want to be in the Reserves, knowing you'll be sent to
wherever there's oil
so you can die needlessly for that never-worked-a-day-in-his-life, punk-ass loser.
You ready to die so Bush can enrich his super-rich friends further?
by the NYWT She-Thing Dowd
With Iraqis in Najaf screaming, "There is no order! There is no government! We'd rather have Saddam than this!,"
we had one more ominous illustration that the Bush team is out of its depth and divided against itself.
You can't conduct a great historical experiment
in a petty and bickering frame of mind.
The agencies of the Bush administration are behaving like high school cliques.
When he wasn't meeting secretly with energy
lobbyists, Mr. Cheney was meeting secretly with Iraqi exiles.
The Iraqi National Congress leader Ahmad Chalabi and other defectors conned Mr. Cheney, Rummy and
the naïve Wolfowitz of Arabia by playing up the danger of Saddam's W.M.D.'s and playing down the prospect
of Iraqi resistance to a U.S. invasion.
Cheney wasn't duped by anyone. All you have to do is remember Bart's Law #2.
"Any time a person or entity makes a "mistake" that puts extra money in their pocket,
expect them to make that same "mistake" again and again and again."
Cheney's crew has made tens of billions, maybe more, from
And you want us to believe that Cheney was duped into making billions for himself?
Subject: Ms. Dowd
Now that GW Bush's presidency is officially
the worst in history, how well do
you sleep as you recall your columns covering the 2000 election?
In retrospect, should you have perhaps spent
more time discussing what a waking nightmare
Dubya's presidency might be instead of exhaustively analyzing Al Gore's earth tones.
In this way, aren't you one of the biggest Bush Pioneer's?
Stan, excellent point.
She's whining about Bush now, but she helped elect him with her wild lies and outrageously unfair attacks
on Bush's much more qualified opponent. She was getting Rove's faxes just like Russert was - and printing
them word for word, just like Mr. Rove instructed her to do. Instead of blowing the whistle and confessing,
she's cowardly denying her past and playing the role of cheap opposer, which isn't selling.
...now she's all, "Look who they elected," when she played a key role in Bush's rise to power.
Tiger Woo 's run of cuts made was in serious jeopardy Saturday when he bogeyed four of the first
seven holes to drop to 3-over for the Deutsche Bank Championship. At that point, he was two shots
on the wrong side of the cut line. Woods began on the back nine where he has had mixed results.
He has played the back nine in 2-over, totaling seven bogeys, through 36 holes. He bogeyed the par-4
12th and then Nos. 14-16. A birdie at the par-4 17th stopped the bleeding and helped him turn the corner.
Once considered a great golfer, Eldrick finds himself consigned to "stopping the bleeding."
I think the BartCop Hex might have more
power than the Invisble Cloud being.
Some people say Eldrick is the best golfer of all time, but when did his big losing streak start?
In July 2001. Eldrick came to Tulsa Oklahoma and they treated him like a king.
The mayor said we had to have all the street
construction done and cleaned up so Tiger
would be impressed with this stupid little republican cowtown. Tiger was God's gift to golf,
kinda like W is God's gift to America, and I was 'f-ing A' fed up with it.
So I put the big hex on Mr. Perfect, and
he's never been the same.
Sunday, he was so far back on the Leaderboard, he's not even listed on it.
From #1147 you mention that site that ranks presidential lies.
The Clinton lie about having memories of
Arkansas church burnings
when he was a boy is most likely not a lie at all.
...just two days later the Democrat-Gazette published the result of its own research
and found that no fewer than four black churches had burned in Arkansas during Clinton’s youth,
one right in his home town of Hot Springs.
"What if he governs as well as he acts?"
The newest Entertainment Weekly says they're moving forward
with production on Terminator 4. Do you think Musclehead is
just doing a little publicity for that film with this run for office?
(Would California really put a brainless man in office during a crisis?)
Look for Anold to "selflessly" pull out of the race to make room
for "the one man who can save California - Tom McClintock."
On my favorite soap opera, One Life to
Live, my favorite character, Roxy Balsam
accused someone of betraying her by calling him "Benedict Rumsfeld"!!!!
I know that sounds like a little thing,
but that one line took more courage
than they've shown on SNL or any "topical" comedy!
Bonds homers in first game back, forced to leave game
Barry Bonds looked up and pointed toward the sky, just as he does after every home run.
But this was no ordinary homer. His heart told him so.
Overwhelmed by emotion after connecting
in his first game back following his father's death,
Bonds had to leave the game with an accelerated heart rate.
"The emotions just went through me, I felt lightheaded
and couldn't stop my heart rate from racing,"
Bonds said. "After the home run I couldn't breathe. That's never happened to me."
Update: Bonds Hospitalized
Barry Bonds was hospitalized Sunday night because of exhaustion following his father's death.
The Giants said Bonds was taken to a nearby hospital as a precaution and would remain overnight.
A spokesman said the slugger was still "likely" to play Monday in Phoenix.
Monday, he got out and got the game-winning hit.
Subject: Smart investing
In these times of economic uncertianty -
what is a good investment?
A lot of people thought that buying Enron stock with Bush as president had to be
a sure thing. Hard to find a good pick these days. But - with the rising cost of gasoline
it makes me wonder if there's a company out there who's making four digit gas pumps
that are capable of charging over $10.00 a gallon.
Maybe I could get in on the ground floor and get rich!
head of Diebold, the company who sells the "GOP wins" voting machines
told Republicans in a recent fund-raising letter that he is "committed to helping Ohio deliver its
electoral votes to the never-elected in the first place fraudulent King Bush next year."
I think Carson
Kressley should critique fashion at the Emmys this year.
Right now, he's one of the funniest people on TV.
Isn't everyone tired of hasn't-been-funny-in-ten-years Joan Rivers?
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Charles Bronson 1921-2003
If you're a kid, you might not know the name.
If you've ever seen a black & white TV, you might remember him from Roy Rodgers, Alfred Hitchcock,
Gunsmoke, Have Gun Will Travel, The Twilight Zone, The Untouchables, Bonanza, Combat, The Virginian,
The Big Valley starring Barbara Stanwyck, Rawhide, The Fugitive, The FBI with Ephram Zimbalist Junior!
Not to mention Breakheart Pass, the Death Wish movies,
Hard Times, The Valachi Papers and The Dirty Dozen.
Plus Battle of the Bulge, The Sandpiper, and The Great Escape! He dug sixteen tunnels, just with his face!
(Homage to Tim Thomerson)
On top of that, our first cat, Smoke, did an impression of Charles
He'd be sitting there, and you could say, "Smoke! Gimme some Charles Bronson,"
and he'd look up and do his eyebrows like Charles Bronson - it was a hoot.
If I was trying to sell you something, I'd be telling you that
Bronson and the love of his life,
Jill Ireland, were once again together and happy in Heaven, but that would be a heartless handjob.
She died 15-20 years ago and now he's gone.
They're not getting together in the afterlife.
They're not starring in Heaven's Fall Schedule.
They were two corporial beings whose bodies could no longer sustain them.
Sad to say, they are gone.
Life is a bitch.
You get old, then you die, and that's only if everything works
That's why I say you gotta have a good time TODAY!
Today is cash money - enjoy it.
Tomorrow is a check from someone you just met.
dense" FOX viewers buy Franken book
"Too stupid" to realize he was mocking them, says a source. (Parody)
Preliminary sales figures and exit interviews at area book stores over the past week
indicate that millions of FOX News viewers are too stupid to realize Al Franken's
new book is mocking them.
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Poor Dennis Miller...
Now that he's a Nazi, he sits in for other
Nazi's on vacation.
Friday, he sat in for the Hannity pig, telling the same old, stale jokes from a year ago.
Then he was on Hannity and Sellout a few hours later, telling the same stale jokes.
Then he was on Bill Maher a few hours after that - yep, telling the same stale jokes.
FOX, the GOFP and the White House are doing
all they can to help him get work,
but without new jokes, even the right will eventually reject him.
Ain't this the damn truth?
When "Bring 'em on" bombed the UN building,
they said Bush "cut short" his important golf game.
"Cut short" is different than "stopped."
"Cut short" means he was on six and played to nine,
then he went to see how many of his lackeys had been murdered.
I don't like this cowardly man-child, and I don't mind saying it.
John Kerry creeped me out on Meet the Whore with Tim the B.F.E.E. employee.
get transcript (lame-ass NBC can't have a transcript ready 14 hours later?)
Whore: Let me quote you: "This president is appallingly stupid and all my colleages agree."
Kerry: Tim, I disagree with the president's policies.
Hey John, if you said it, either explain it, stand by it or apologize
for saying it.
Be a man, stand up and say what you mean. Why can't anybody talk straight anymore?
Whore: You and Dubya are both Skull and Bones members. Tell me about that.
Kerry: I can't! it's a secret! (laughs)
What kind of bullshit is this?
You'd put your loyalty to the Skull and Bones before your run for the presidency?
That's too much like a religion for me. If Kerry has "secrets" that he can't reveal about
the secret club he's in with the Unelected Moron, I don't want him to be my president.
I have no idea if this Skull and Bones is dangerous or just a
circle jerk, but if Kerry would rather lose the
presidency than break his sacred pledge to some weirdo society then I'm glad we found out now because
I'm not supporting some frat-boy secrets bullshit. Does Kerry have a brand on his ass from this secret club?
There are rumors of gay sex requirements to get in the stupid club. If that's true, President Kerry could be
blackmailed, which is apparently the case right now because he's unable to explain himself. "I can't talk
about it - it's a secret" is horseshit and that cost Kerry my vote.
Kerry lost major ground with me yesterday.
The federal government is backing a lawsuit before the U.S. Supreme Court that seeks to overturn a
California clean-air agency's attempt to curb pollution from buses, taxis, trash trucks and other fleet vehicles.
Just like with Enron, Bush is punishing the state for not voting
for him by turning loose
his corporate muggers to dirty up the air so they can make an extra nickel.
"If Zoey Bartlet is dead, I'm gonna blow
the hell out of something."
-- John Goodman, (D-Linda Tripp*) as acting president on West Wing
Goodman said he was just in the premier, so I guess they resolve this.
Thanks for the plug, man!
I just reset my hit counter a few days ago (90% of it was me refreshing the page to see my changes).
So when I logged in yesterday to check up, I see 200+ hits and I'm like "What the Fuck?!"
Sure enough, my #1 referrer was BartCop.com...
Blogging's kinda fun, I gotta say.
Hell, I don't know if it'll make a difference - there's already a million
political opinion sites out there - but it feels good to shout into the void!
"If the Americans go in and overthrow Saddam
and it's clean, he has nothing [no WMD],
I will apologize to the nation, and I will never trust the Bush Administration again."
-- Bill 'Shut Up' O'Reilly on "Good Morning America," March 18, 2003
How many months or years are you going to give Bush to find something?
Bill, it seems your word is no good.
And why are you afraid of Joe Conason?
I've met him - he's a very nice, well-mannered and courteous man.
...no need to be afraid of him.
I'm who you need to be afraid of. I don't
have any of Joe's manners.
Now and then, I f-ing launch and just go off on some poor dude like yourself..
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Subject: Kerry on Meet the Press
Dear Mr. Russert,
Too bad that you aren't as thorough, prepared,
and ready to attack when it comes to George W. Bush.
Your colors are showing, Tim. Why are you rolling over and playing dead for GW?
GW is NEVER put under such a microscope.
We all know what would happen to him if you interviewed
him in the manner in which you interviewed Senator John Kerry: GW would wither and babble.
But of course, we know you would never do such an interview.
Kerry stood his ground well against your
I did notice that you did not mention Clinton's Crotch.
A slight improvement.
I imagine if Kerry were elected (that is
if the 2004 election turns out to be Fair and Balanced),
you'd start mentioning Kerry's Crotch.
"It's almost never the economy in this country
that people vote on."
-- George Will, senior Bush whore at ABC, spinning like a tornadoe*
As the graph clearly shows, Chippy the Chimp is over a hundred
points smarter than George Will.
[This isn't an allegation, this is scientific proof.] This proves that if George Will suddenly became
106 points smarter, he would still be out-gunned by a tree-climbing monkey and that's a fact, Jack.
What does George Will say in his prayers every night?
"Thank you God, for creating Fred Barnes."
We finally saw Bowling for Columbine
It was OK, but thought I would like it more than I did.
Was Moore still under Nader's influence when he made this?
Parts were great, parts seemed very student-film.
I dislike Charlton Heston quite a bit, but ambushing an old man isn't that cool.
Plus, Moore felt is was very important to attack Clinton - can't
figure out why.
At two points, he made a big deal that on the day of the Columbine shootings,
Clinton had our boys giving Slobo the biggest pounding of that war.
Is Mike so left-wing that he believes bombs shouldn't be used to stop genocide?
On another point, he made sure to ridicule
Clinton for bombing the "aspirin factory."
Does he think Clinton intentionally wanted to bomb an aspirin family?
What would be the point?
Mike's modus operadi seems to be
that he always goes a little too far,
like with this film, with Heston, with K-Mart and his Oscar's acceptance speech..
I'm glad he got K-mart to stop selling handgun bullets, but ambushing that lady
with those Columbine kids was - going too far.
'Disinfotainment Today' by Michael Dare
Jerry Lewis telethon broke a record
Gwenyth Diana Rigg & Prince Charles
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution apologized for the kissing picture of Madonna & Britney
A Rotterdam prescription
David Blaine grossed out the British press corps
PBS & the Hollywood Blacklist
And, Snoop Dogg lost some bodyguards
Bowling for Columbine
Click to Order
Lies and the Lying Liars at FOX
Click to Order #1 at Amazon.com
Reminder: This is a thought I had watching Bowling for Columbine.
In the 1980s, the B.F.E.E. was selling arms to Saddam to
and we secretly (and illegally) sold arms to Iran to fight Saddam.
B.F.E.E. was making tons of money from both sides of that war,
and now Bush is whining that Saddam gassed his own people?
They made billions selling weapons to both sides, and they made mega-billions financing Saddam's downfall.
Boy, this B.F.E.E. knows how to make a buck. All it takes
is the willingness to break the law, subvert the
constitution and murder severeal thousand innocent people, but hey - a profit was made!
Then they got caught and stonewalled the investigation. When things
got too hot, they pujured themselves.
Bush the smarter finally pardoned everyone and the good puppy press went along because they got a Bar-B-Q.
Years later, they got a second bite at the apple with Dim Son - with a little help from their old friend Osama.
So the B.F.E.E. have continued their global crime spree
at a much higher level.
They've stolen so much money they could just retire, but not Dick Cheney.
He was making millions with a cushy, no-stress job, and even with five heart attacks,
he shucked his cushy millions-a-year job to grab mega-billions more.
"...it’s a Republican grab for power. They’re
trying to buy what they couldn’t win...
You have to remember how we got here, you know, it’s not an accident. Gray Davis
was dealing with a power crisis when we weren’t even aware of it. We had rolling
brownouts here and rolling blackouts. He was like a surgeon in a trauma center trying
to stop the bleeding. He wasn’t trying to track down the perpetrator or the shooter.
Now all the criticism has fallen on him and they’re saying 'well, why didn’t you go get
the shooter?...It’s very clear now that the billings were Enron and all the other hustling
of energy for California and they ripped us off."
-- Martin Sheen on Craig Kilbornl
After 43 years of blindness, Michael May can see again.
He can play soccer with his sons, enjoy movies and, for the first time, gaze on
the Sierra Nevada slopes he has expertly skied--sightless--since the late 1970s.
[Doctors] began testing him just months
after his cornea- and stem cell-implant surgery.
The stem cells formed a protective layer over his new cornea to prevent clouding.
but isn't this the same stem cell breakthru that Bush is blocking?
In an effort to appease those who believe in the Invisible Cloud Being, Bush has stymied
stem cell research, leaving people blind, and with Parkinson's, and with Alzheimers.
God, next time you talk to Bush, after you
give him the list of people and countries
that you want bombed off the face of the Earth, could you tell him it's OK if scientists
use stem cell technology to help others?
"George W. Bush ...is surprisingly vulnerable
to a challenge from his right. Issues: his soaring deficits;
his preferential option for the rich; his sellout of conservative principle to embrace big government;
his failure to protect America's borders and control immigration; his cave-in on the assault-gun law;
his concessions to the gay Log Cabin Republicans; his refusal to put a stop to race preferences and
reverse discrimination; his free-trade zealotry, which has helped to kill one of every eight manufacturing
jobs in the United States while creating jobs in China; and, potentially the most explosive, his "quagmire"
in Iraq. If U.S. soldiers are still dying from sniper fire and ambushes in Iraq in September of 2004,
Bush could be vulnerable to the campaign slogan "Support Our Troops—Bring Them Home Now!"
-- Pat Buchanan, Attribution
Subject: No thanks, victricat scum
Oh, I get it - Bobe wants a piece of me? Is that what this is?
It's been so long, I haven't had to de-monkey my boots in weeks.
baseball pennant races
stats in the BartCopSports labs.
world championships going on in track
Father Mushroom is a gambler
All this and more at...
Click to Enter
American soldier body count in Iraq
It now stands at
302 counting the injured
who have since died.
Soon, we'll be at 300.
How long before we hit 400? Or 600?
The Pentagon released new figures, reflecting the wounded who have since died.
Total deaths since the frog-blaster said, "Bring 'em On":81+
Perhaps 1,200 wounded.
How much more are we willing to tolerate?
It's from http://lunaville.org/warcasualties/Summary.aspx
You have two minutes to speak your peace.
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© 2003, bartcop.com
Happy Birthday to Shirley.
Shrl, I can't wait to hear your next album (they're recording now) and see you on tour!
Hey, get well soon!
BartPhone, just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!
Then your enemies will fear you!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Joint on your next American tour.
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