Politics - Stocks - Entertainment - Chinaco Anejo - Humor 
 Sarcasm - POKER - Sports - GARBAGE -  Revenge - Vegas
You'll be prompted for your login name and password. 
Click  Here  to subscribe

Stolen Votes
Hagel Cheats
Election 2004
Bart vs Miller
Perkel's Blog
Myth of the Lib Media
The Somalia truth
Bart Store
Dare's Disinfo
The Forum
The Reader
Your Ad Here
Kobe Watch
Davis Recall Watch
Demo Primary Watch
Contact us


Make payments with PayPal - it's fast, free and secure!
 PayPal to
 PO Box 54466
Tulsa, OK 74155



Back Issues
Bart Cook
BartCop Sports
BC Entertainment
Richard L Fricker
Daily Howler
Arianna Huffington
Demo U-Ground
Eric Alterman
Gene Lyons
Joe Conason
Mark Morford
Greg Palast
Talking Points Memo
Mike Malloy
Molly Ivins
Project 60
Smirking Chimp
Bartcop Stocks
Vegas Report

Volume 1147 - The Kiss

Please visit our sponsors

 Thurs-Weekend   Aug 28-31, 2003 


"300 bigots and lunatics protesting around a carved rock, worthy of nonstop coverage.
  100,000 people protesting a war, worthy of brief snide commentary."

 Halliburton's Deals Greater Than Thought 

  Click  Here

 The size and scope of the government contracts awarded to Halliburton in connection with the war
 in Iraq are significantly greater than was previously disclosed and demonstrate the U.S. military's
 increasing reliance on for-profit corporations to run its logistical operations. Independent experts
 estimate that as much as one-third of the monthly $3.9 billion cost of keeping U.S. troops in Iraq
 is going to independent contractors.

 Who knew?
 Trust me, the figure is ten times that.
 If they're admitting to a billion, it's going to be ten billion before it's over.

 ...and that's fine by the Democrats.


"I'm loosening up and getting ready for the campaign, but there's going to be plenty of time for politics.
  I've got a job to do. I'm focused on the people's business."
     --Dubya, at a fund-raiser in St. Paul on Tuesday

  Yeah, he's so focused on the people's business, his campaign
  had to pay for this trip because Bush did nothing but raise money

 Yes, Clinton gets impeached for getting a blow job from his intern.
 But Bush gets a free ride for getting sucked off by the entire press corps?

 My letter to the ombudsman and editor at the Washington Post:

 In England, Tony Blair is facing hard questions and assuming responsibility,
 or at least claiming he would, if he had done anything wrong.
 In America, this is journalism?

 Bush's Media Barbecue: No Grilling 
  Bush gives his puppies a treat, and they love him for it

  Click  Here

 While an American dies every other day?  While the deficit sky-rockets?
 While the Federal Government seems to have no plan, no policy for the
 reconstruction of Iraq and the withdrawal of 140, 000 American troops?

"I miss you!"???  BBQs and cold beer, and Australian wine?

 If the Post's journalists are afraid to ask tough questions or write critical articles
 because they might lose "access"--hey, can someone tell them:  you don't have any access!
 What are you afraid to lose?  Free sandwiches?

 Whores work really cheap when they're journalists.

 Hex on thee!
 Hex on thee!
 Hex on thee!

 Hey Monkey!

 Let's see how well you do with the BartCop Hex on your lying ass...

 Voting machine controversy

  Click  Here

 The head of a company vying to sell voting machines in Ohio told Republicans in a recent fund-raising
 letter that he is "committed to helping Ohio deliver its electoral votes to the president next year."

 The Aug. 14 letter from Walden O'Dell, chief executive of Diebold Inc. - who has become active in
 the re-election effort of President Bush - prompted Democrats this week to question the propriety of
 allowing O'Dell's company to calculate votes in the 2004 presidential election.

 Are we really living in a world where the Democrats are so f-ing limp, that they won't insist on free elections?
 This Monkey Bush can't lose an election sponsored by GOP-owned Diebold.

 Why have Democrats abandoned the one-man, one vote principle?
 Why do Democrats bow to the illegal dictaor when he pees on the Constitution?

Please visit our sponsors


"Bush is using Minnesota as a political ATM machine. Bush has deposited quite a bit
  of money giving 40 percent of his tax breaks to the wealthiest 1 percent of Americans
  and is withdrawing some of that today."
   --Sen. Mark Dayton, at a State Capitol news conference,  Attribution

 Black students forced to use back door at Hilton
  saw the story on

  Click  Here

 The Durham Hilton recently issued written rules barring students at N.C. Central University,
 a historically black school, from using the hotel's front door, an act NCCU's chancellor called "unconscionable."

 "It [is] really unconscionable that in 2003 our students are being asked to use a side and rear entrance," he said.
"That's not what I expected from the people we're doing business with in the city of Durham." "

 We can't let this stand, can we?

 I called the Durham Hilton, (919-383-8033) asked for a spokesman and I got "Terry," who sounded black.
 He said that was not the case, but he would have no further comment. I asked him to verify that the
"Herald Sun" was his local newspaper, and, after a few more "I can't say" replies, he admitted it was.
 I tried the paper and the reporter, but nobody answers the phone anymore.

 IF this story is true, I don't think Hilton would want this kind of publicity.

"What's wrong with darkies using the back door?"

 The Worst President of Our Lives
    by Gene Lyons

  Click  Here

 Bush's sheer incompetence is impossible to overstate. The bad news and the lies just keep on coming. Yesterday,
 we learned that the U.S. budget deficit will reach a record $480 billion for this fiscal year. 2001  Nobel Prize-winning
 economist George Akerloff told the German magazine Der Spiegel "this is the worst government the US has ever had
 in its more than 200 years of history." He described Bush's save-the-rich tax cuts as "is a form of looting" that will
 bankrupt the treasury.     It was also recently revealed that the White House pressured the Environmental Protection
 Agency to suppress findings of deadly toxins in the atmosphere in lower Manhattan after 9/11 for fear public warnings
 would damage the economy. Between dollars and lives, Bush chose the bottom line.

 In Iraq, there have now been more American soldiers killed since Bush's theatrical aircraft carrier landing off San Diego
 than before he announced the end of combat. More than two dozen have died since the president left Washington to
 spend time roping and branding golf carts on his Texas ranch earlier this month.

 Bill O'Reilly Wants You To Shut Up 

  Click  Here

 On his daily show, The O'Reilly Factor, he uses it as a place-holder for an idea still formulating in his brain.
 As a way to begin a sentence, end it, or punctuate it. Sometimes he says "shut up" with fury, eyes bulging.
 When he's being dismissive, he delivers it offhandedly and without real malice. Other times he says it gently,
 with a minxlike twinkle in his eye, signaling to all the world that he's just being frisky.

 God Bart even for an Okie you are dense. I told you before and I'll say  it again,
 Put that PC shit down and buy a powerMac. Do that and all your computer problems will cease.

 For example there has never been a successful Mac virus.

 Now I'm going to repeat that again for those of you on drugs.
 Put that cactus juice down boy, twist up a big fat doobie and get thee hence to the Mac store!


 Ernest, when they asked Willie Sutton why he robbed banks, he said,
 "Because that's where the money is."

 They don't write viruses for Macs because nobody owns one.

Bush supports the troops?

 Better not answer that

 Remember the BartCop Quiz?
 It had many versions, but the premise was always the same:
 If you're brave enough to answer the question, I'll force you to agree with me.
 Some attorneys apparently don't read  and haven't learned that lesson.

 On Wednesday's Crossfire, James Carville was back from vacation and ready to attack.
 Talking about the Alabama fiasco, Carville asked an attorney for two church groups if he
 would object to having the Koran or Buddha or The Scientologists erecting a monument.

 This crazy lawyer screwed up and answered the question:

 From the transcript:
 Carville: We are joined by Brian Chavez-Ochoa, the lawyer who brought the case against
 those who wanted to remove the tablet. Counselor, I would assume that if somebody wanted
 to put a statue of Buddha or translations from the Quran or the Church of Scientology or anything
 else, that you would represent them with the same vigor as you do (your current clients?)

 Chavez-Ochoa: Well, as to those religions, they have a right under the First Amendment
 to have those displays brought forth. So the answer to that question is yes.

 Swear to Koresh - did he really say that?  He wouldn't mind of the Scientologists planting
 a 5,000 pound monument to whatever slice of insanity the Scientologists are into inside
 the courthouse of some Alabama county?

 If you're going to take a really extreme point of view, you damn well better not answer
 a question like Carville posed, because what's next?  What if John Linde Walker wants
 to erect a statue of Osama, because he claims Osama is "The Prophet?"

 What power does the government have to tell you which Gods are "real" and which aren't?
 If I was that lawyer, defending an undefendable position, I would answered some kind of
 gobbledegook like, "But there's only one true God, Our Lord Jesus Christ."

 When your position can't hold water, you have to fudge on questions like James's.
 But the second you say "Bring 'em on" to every crazy religion, you will then have monuments
 to snake-handlers, Shirley Manson, The Number 6, Osama, Tiger Woods - the list is endless.

 As  readers knew years ago, the only way out of this quagmire is to say,
"No religious quackery on city, state or federal property - period."
 Once again, the crazies can't see we're protecting them!

 If somebody puts up a statue to Osama, some veteran is going to blow it up.
 Then the Osama guy will find out about it, so he'll be obliged to blow up a Christian church,
 than all of a sudden America becomes one giant pile of Ich bin ein Baghdadders.

 Subject: Your computer


 How in the hell do expect to take on the BFEE and it's ilk if you can't get a simple computer fixed.
 I joined to hear Bartcop Radio and you've got my money, but I've got no radio.
 Do you expect me to take you seriously?

 I'm a service-connected 100% disabled veteran and I can find someone to take care of my 3 year old
 Gateway when I have problems with it. I expect an answer, if not by email, but, at least in your blog
 when you manage to get your shit together...

 Your fervent supporter,

 Bob, there's no need to get hostile.
 Think this through...

 I have no income.
 My only chance at some income is a radio show funded by volunteer subscriber's donations
 that would allow me to put food and tequila on my family..

 That's motivation.

 I give you my word I'm doing everything I can to make this work, including paying
 bonuses for jobs done early, but nobody in this country wants to make any money.

 If was working, I could do a radio show as soon as tomorrow,
 but they got hit by the same virus, and I need Netscape Composer to edit the page.
 Try to hang on a few more days.

 By the way, the BFEE has a budget of hundreds of billions of taxpayer dollars,
 wheras I depend on fervent supporters.

 I wonder if President Bonehead wishes he'd taken his father's advice
 and not gone to war against a non-threatening enemy all by himself.

 For the first time in 50 years, our military has gotten into something they can't handle, and Bush
 wants other countries to join him in the carnage in Baghdad and since he smirked, "We don't need no help,"
 those same countries are letting him (and our fighting men) twist in the wind.

 More stickers have arrived

 Get yours, then send in a picture of where you put it.
 (Please don't vandalize anything with these stickers)

 To get your stickers, send a self-addressed envelope to:
 PO Box 54466
 Tulsa, OK 74155

 OR, you could PayPal a small donation and get your stickers within 48 hours.

 The stickers are free, but donations are accepted.

 We'll give away a prize each month for Best Sticker Placement.
 Maybe a Brooke Burke calendar or Joe Conason's new book.

......   #4 at

 Send in your sticker pics - win valuable prizes.

 Sidebar:  Joe's book must contain some mighty dynamite.
                 It has certainly scared the pants off the blowtorches that spew Nazi hate on radio and cable TV

 Subject: Help with computer

 If you ever need help with anything computer related feel free to e-mail me.
 I'll do my best to help you out.
 Just do me a favor and never mention the company I work for.


 Hey, can't blame him.
 This is America, where you'd better watch what you say.

 Surely, Ashcroft is going after al Qaeda more than he's going after liberal Democrats, ...right?

                Madonna and Britney get busy on the MTV Awards.

 I about came out of my chair when I saw this. (cough)
 A second later, Madonna turned and gave Christine Aguilera some, too, but nobody saw it
 because the stupid director thought it would be best to cut to Justin Timberlake for a reaction.

 Years ago, I smuggled a video camera into a Robert Plant concert, and people said it was
 the best video they'd ever seen of him.    My secret?    You keep the camera on the star.
 Too bad MTV doesn't have a director as qualified as Bart.  Hell, they even knew it was coming,
 but like every Blue Angels flyover at a football game, they missed the action when it happened.

 Chris Rock was crude and damn funny. "Why is Paula Abdul a singing judge on America Idol?
 That's like getting Christopher Reeve to judge a dance contest."

 Coldplay, "the greatest band in the world" played a slow, boring dirge, just like last year.
 Justin said others deserve his award more than he did, just like last year.
 Eminem made news with a puppet, just like last year.

 MTV - what would they be without repeats?

 For Reasons Of National Security
    by W. O. Coach

 After promising us "open and honest" government during campaign 2000, the Bush administration
 has descended into the most deceitful and dishonest government in living memory.

 From Cheney's stonewalling the details and names of his energy policy, the sealing of Presidential papers,
 the 9/11 Commission report, to just about every other embarrassing revelation they don't want you to
 know about, the White House offers that less than believable justification, that it's for reasons of national security.

 But even more remarkable just this week, was claiming it was for reasons of national security that the
 White House ordered the Environmental Protection Agency to lie to New Yorkers by assuring them
 their air quality was safe after 9/11 when clearly they knew it wasn't. This deceitful bunch even lies to us
 about our air for gawd's sake.

 Now, if the White House had claimed they sent Bush home on vacation for 35 days even though
 he's got two active wars going for reasons of national security, well, one could certainly buy into that.
 After all, the less time he's on the job, the less harm he can do.

 Weekly Standard vs. BuzzFlash & Sid Blumenthal: Part I

  Click  Here

"It's like having a blind, brain-damaged parakeet as president. All the Chickenhawk Neo-Con "endless war"
 advisors sit around the parakeet and recommend war, deregulation, rollback of environmental protections,
 government contracts for campaign contributors, making America into an official Christian state, and so forth.
 Because the parakeet is mentally deficient, he keeps nodding his head all the time. The advisers interpret his
 nodding head as approval for their destructive plans. The Bush corporate media shills prop up the parakeet
 by insisting that his head nods are proof of his decisiveness and wisdom. This is what passes for good
 government with the Republicans and their media enablers!"

 Having lost his battle with Al Franken, Rupert Murdioch is now going after Buzzflash and Sid?
 When does  get gone after?


 Thanks for taking a few days off.
 I feel a lot better now.

 Keep on rockin'
 Bart's right arm

 Perle: Great war, but we're outta here 
  France was right - starting a war in Iraq was extra-stupid

  Click  Here

"You have to understand that since September 11, the United States cannot allow the most terrible
  weapons in the world to be in the hands of the worst regimes in the world," Perle told Le Figaro.
  To date, no such weapons have been found.

"Today, the answer is to hand over power to the Iraqis as soon as possible," he added..

 Hey Perley, does that mean Iraq gets to do their own oil accounting?
 Or do you have "people"  ...that can handle that for them?

 U.S. failures in Iraq set stage for deeper trouble

  Click  Here

 Perhaps the only hope lies in the story going around town that President Bush
 has told the Pentagon he wants "no more American dead" after next March.

 That's just breathtakingly outrageous, isn't it?
 The Bloodthirsty bastard doesn't want any dead soldiers - during his campaign.
 He doesn't give a damn about the dead soldiers until they harm his run for the White House.
 I'll tell you - I don't like the son of a bitch at all.

 Thanks to Norma.

 Subject: Longtime reader calls it quits

 Bart, I've read your page for four years, since the days of RLLNW, but
 after this e-mail goes out, I'm removing you from my bookmarks.

 I'm sure a lost fan now and then isn't a big deal, and I know lots of people
 have vowed never to read your site again over this or that remark you've made.
 This isn't about that.

 I tried -- really tried -- to bring a voice of reason to your mini-debate
 over the atomic bombings of Japan. That voice was evidently unwelcome,
 otherwise it would have been heard and printed. It seems that conspiracy
 theories trump the less sensational truth in BartCopLand, and for a guy
 who spends his time professing to seek the truth, this strikes me as the
 epitome of waving the double-standard. That really pisses me off.

 So long, Bart. It's been a good run, and I've enjoyed it, but it's time
 for me to look elsewhere for my daily dose of liberal fist-pounding.


 I'm getting more and more and more mail like this,
 and if Todd was telling the truth, he'll never see my reply.

 Dude, I get 300-500 e-mails a day in just the mailbox.
 Do you know anyone that can read that much mail AND spent 10-12 hours on their day job?
 People assume a letter sent is a letter read.

 It's got nothing to do with my preference for "conspiracy theories."
 Hell, I don't even know which side of that issue you're on.

 I'm sure people make the same mistake with the Middle East. I said, "Israel doesn't
 target children," and got a hundred angry replies, most of which called me a liar and a Zionist tool.

 Hopefully, the problem will get worse as we grow.
 I guess I'll just continue to piss people off.

 Watch them squirm
   by Ricky Z

  Click  Here

 It'd be real tough--though not impossible for republicans--to continue to assert the legitimacy of
 "Whistle ass" while also asserting that state actors have the right to ignore Federal court decisions.

 I mean, to admit that is to admit that Al Gore has every right to camp out in the oval office
 with all his supporters.

 New York humor columnist (, who writes on work, politics,
 the media and technology for newspapers, magazines and Web sites:

 The Blackout Song
 (think Billy Joel's Just the Way You Are).

 Don't go blaming
 George Bush for blackouts.
 Electric grids are such a bore.
 Mmm ... Mmm ...
 Don't imagine
 He's too familiar
 With anything but waaaaaaaaar.

 He says he'll fix it,
 Track down the trouble.
 He always thought the grid was poor.
 Mmm ... Mmm ...
 He'll call on Congress
 To solve the grid mess.
 And when in doubt blame Clinton/Gooooooooore.

...for old time's sake

 Subscriber help

 Can't get in?   Click  Here  to reach Sam

 If you should be in the members section, but aren't, write to Sam and tell her if you subscribed by
 2Checkout,  PayPal  or  snail mail.  She'll fix you up.

 Students, teachers, military

 Reminder: will pay for three more .mils to be members for 90 days

 If your e-mail address ends with .edu  you can get members priviliges for just $5 a month.
 If your e-mail address ends with .mil  you can get members priviliges for just $5 a month.

 Is membership  worth $5 a month when you're on a tight budget?

 Subject: Oh For Chissake


 Jesus, you pink tutu kvetch!
 Your hand hurts, your computer's broken.
 Shut up and be funny, will ya?


 Shel, if only I believed in the Invisible Cloud Being.
 Then, I could simply wish for a successful radio show, and God would deliver it,
 because they say you can do anything with God on your side - at least that's what they say.


"Freedom doesn't come from man - freedom comes from God."
   -- that's what Bush said just before he murdered Baghdad.

 The vulgar Pigboy has been saying that for years. It might even be one of his
 "35 Undeniable Truths" which I dispatched without breaking a sweat.

 But if freedom comes fom God, why doesn't He want His Ten Commandments to be free?

 Subject: Freepers on Franken


 Have you been over to the Freepers site lately?
 They are absolutely seething over the Al Franken book, Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them.
 The comments from these blithering idiots go on for pages.  How delicious!

 They are sputtering and fuming and producing bile faster than Ari Fleisher can spin a story.
 Clearly, from the amount of space given on their little website to this number one best seller,
 Al Franken has hit a raw nerve.  Oh how I love to see these monkeys throw tantrums.
 I can't wait to see them at the book signing.  Oh Pleeeese pleeese let me see that group
 of five fat ugly neanderthals with their placards out in front of the book store.
 Can you imagine what Al could do with that??


Marty's Saturday E! page
Bush pinata's
Artie Shaw donated his clarinets to the Smithsonian
Elton John's Vegas deal
Cameron Diaz is the world's highest-paid actress
(gag me)
Is Stella McCartney getting married?
Jack Osbourne hosting a British TV series
Jimmy Dean is finally graduating high school
Sylvester Stallone's bodyguard
Bobby Brown's judge says Bobby's a good role model
And a bunch of links


 Michael Moore
 Bowling for Columbine

  Click to Order

 Al Franken
 Lies and the Lying Liars at FOX

  Click to Order       #1 at

  Subject: Rush is terrified of Howard Dean

  Click  Here

 Dear Vulgar Pigboy; and all the right wing whackos are TERRIFIED of Howard Dean, and you should be.
 He is saying what Americans want to hear. And he has a real good grass roots campaign
 that is raising money slowly but surely. He's saying that George Bush is a liar, that we need
 to get out of Iraq, and he keeps hammering home the point that unemployment is soaring,
 the national debt is hitting historic levels, and people like YOU are getting rich while people
 like ME are becoming poor.

 Subject: Frank Zappa on Church and State

 From "The Real Frank Zappa Book"

Making a Mockery of the Founding Fathers
     Let me close out this chapter with a note about one of Pat Robertson's more reprehensible activities:
 rewriting American history with a 'Christian' bias.   His 700 Club broadcasts have systematically disinformed
 viewers as to the real attitudes of the Founding Fathers on religion and its relationship to government.
 This seems to have been done in order to merchandise his peculiar vision of an America under the thumb
 of religious regulators.  (One broadcast suggested the deployment of a "Spirit-Filled Police Force" that
 would just know-with the help of the Lord, of course-who the real criminals were.)
     The revolutionaries who got this country started were not, as Robertson would have us believe,
 a bunch of wig-headed Jeezo-Grovelers, whimpering for guidance from The Unseen Hand.
 They had a First Amendment premonition about pimp-weasels like him.  Speak up, boys...

     "The United States is in no sense founded upon the Christian doctrine."
           George Washington
     "It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no god.
       It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg."
           Thomas Jefferson
     "I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish church, by the Roman church, by the Greek church,
      by the Turkish church, by the Protestant church, nor by any church that I know of.  My own mind is my own church."
           Thomas Paine
     "I do not find in orthodox Christianity one redeeming feature."
           Thomas Jefferson
     "The Bible is not my book, and Christianity is not my religion.
       I could never give assent  to the long, complicated statements of Christian dogma."
            Abraham Lincoln

 (Quotes as listed in "Salvation for Sale", by Gerard Thomas Straub.)


"The view inside Fox News is that the suit -- which called Franken "shrill" and "unstable,"
  among other choice adjectives -- was a public relations train wreck that embarrassed the
  network and boosted Franken's book, which is being rushed into stores to capitalize on the
  publicity. These sources say that top executives, including Fox News Chairman Roger Ailes,
  argued against the suit, but that O'Reilly was so loudly adamant that the network went along
  to placate its prime-time star."
     --Howard Kurtz, who is a liar and a punk on the BFEE payrolll

 The biggest lies presidents tell 
  A nice recap of the lies and the lying liars who tell them

  Click  Here

 Reagan: "I can balance the budget with tax cuts and an increase defense spending."
 "We did not--repeat, did not--trade weapons or anything else for hostages, nor will we."

 Bush: "Slappy Thomas is the best man for the Supreme Court."
 "I was out of the loop on Iran-Contra" when it was his personal loop.
 Reagan was out of the loop - poor bastard didn't know what they were doing.

 Clinton: "I have vivid memories of black chuches burning in Arkansas."
 "I did not have sex with Monica."

 Pinhead: "Lookie me - I hit the trifecta, ha ha ha"
 "We must invade Iraq before Saddam launches his WMD."

 Notice Clinton's lies didn't kill anybody, didn't keep hostages bound and blindfolded,
 didn't but a bonehead on the high court, didn't wreck the economy, didn't cause a bloody war,
 yet ask the press who the bad president was and they'll screw Clinton and praise the bastards
 who put this once-great country in the hellhole we're in now.


"I'm very disturbed about the direction American foreign policy is going.
  I think something needs to be done to help alleviate the conditions which have
  created a disenfranchised and angry faction in the Middle East. I don't think military
  intervention is the correct solution. I regret what we as a country have done so far."
       --Harrison Ford blasting US Iraq policy  Attribution

 I got some e-mail from the DNC.
 They said Bush lied about the air quality at Ground Zero of 9-11.

 I clicked on it, but of course, the site was down.

 They must use Oklahoma techs, too.

 Subject: "Invisible Cloud Being" alert !

 Hey Bart...

 I received the following E-mail from an acquaintance.
 Due to it's absurdity, thought you might enjoy:


 Pepsi has a new "Patriotic" can coming out with pictures of the Empire State Bldg. and the Pledge of
 Allegiance on them. But, Pepsi left out two little words on the pledge, "Under God."
 Pepsi said they did not want to offend anyone. If this is true then we do not want to offend anyone at the
 Pepsi corporate office. If we do not buy any Pepsi product then they will not receive any of our money.

 Our money, after all, does have the words "Under God" on it.

 Please pass this word to everyone you know--let your voices be heard.
 We want the words "Under God" to be read by every person who buys a can.

 If we were really a Christian nation, we'd force Pepsi to change their name to "Jesus Cola."
 And make the Yankees change their name to "God's Team" and change CBS to GBS.
 If anybody completes a sentence without saying "Praise Christ," he would be beheaded.

 Then we'd be a Christian nation.

We are in the heat of the baseball pennant races and we're not sure,
but Dusty Baker has seemingly lost his mind.
There are more football previews than you can shake a stick at.
It's so involved that we INVENTED stats in the BartCopSports labs.
There's a world championships going on in track and the
American hopefuls won't take the challenge lying down.
Father Mushroom will help you gamble!
All this and more at BartCopSports!

Click to Enter

 If Bush steals another term,
 won't that guarantee we'll be at war until 2008?

 Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
 It now stands at  282, 299 counting the injured who have since died.

 Soon, we'll be at 300.
 How long before we hit 400?  Or 600?

 The Pentagon released new figures, reflecting the wounded who have since died.

 Total deaths since the frog-blaster said, "Bring 'em On":78+

  Perhaps 1,200 wounded.
 How much more are we willing to tolerate?

 It's from

In trouble?
 Call the

You have two minutes to speak your peace.

 Race Jokes with Rush Limbaugh

"How was copper wire invented?
  Two jews fighting over a penny."

  Listen to Rush weekdays from noon - 3pm Eastern
  The EIB network, the White spot on your dial.

 Have a good time today - that's an order.

Shopping online?
Use this portal and they'll throw  four cents.

Search Now:
In Association with

  Click to Order

                                  Conason  ......         McDougal      H Clinton                     Franken           ... Hightower         M Moore




 Read the Previous Issue

 It had  everything.

 Copyright © 2003,

 Shrl, I can't wait to hear your next album (they're recording now) and see you on tour!

 Hey, get well soon!
 Call me!

 Call  The BartPhone,  just to say "Hi!"
 Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!

 ha ha
 Then your enemies will fear you!
 ha ha

 You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
 That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Joint on your next American tour.  and BartCop are trademarks of attempts at humor.

Privacy Policy
. .