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Hey from Bart!
Today, Tuesday, is a catch-up day for me. Once I get behind,
all I can do is punt
and start on the next full issue which means skipping a day. It also gives me a chance
to get a hair cut, bring Mrs Bart's car in for a hail damage assessment, visit the dentist etc.
But I wanted to give you a quick Big-time VCR Alert
Tonight is the premier of Celebrity Poker on the
Bravo Network. Poker is the next big
TV "reality" craze. NBC is counter-programming the SuperBowl with Poker.
Of course, it could totally suck, because big stars have money
to throw away, so this could turn
out to be as edge-of-my-seat excitement as Bon Jovi getting a music question on Celebrity Millionaire.
...but if it's poker, it's got my attention until they lose it.
The Travel Channel has the best poker show, followed by ESPN's
World Series of Poker
and we watched some dreadful Poker Million at the Sands Casino the other day.
The Paris Hilton show premiers tonight. It's called Simple
Life and it's on FOX.
I have to watch to see if it's as bad as they say. Does Paris really think that Wal-Mart sells walls?
Her working at McDonald's reminds me that the evil Bush boy couldn't handle a job that complicated.
Interesting battle over Line of Duty, premiering
on ABC where NYPD Blue should be. Matt Roush
(TV Guide) who I trust, says it's not quite as good as The Sopranos. That's damn high praise for this
new mob show, but Robert Bianco (USAToday) who I trust, says it's not worth the bother.
Which one of them is right?
Plus there's a new Queer Eye a new 24 and Tracy Morgan (SNL)'s show premiers tonight.
See you tomorrow.
is finally here!!!
New Subscribers - subscribe for $10 and bring a friend for free
Current Subscribers - subscribe a friend (or ditto-monkey) for just $5
Quote of the Day
"A visit, a photo op or whatever it was to
"Neil Bush has had a $60,000-a-year employment
contract with a top adviser to a Washington-based
consulting firm set up this year to help companies secure contracts in Iraq. Neil Bush disclosed the
payments during divorce proceedings in March from his now ex-wife, Sharon. Mr Bush said he was
co-chairman of Crest Investment Corporation, a company based in Houston, Texas, that invests in
energy and other ventures. For this he received $15,000 every three months for working an average
three or four hours a week."
--Stephen Fidler and Thomas Catán, "Consultant employed president's brother", Attribution
Three to four hours a week?
That's a lot of work for a Bush bastard.
Pick up a newspaper or turn on your TV to hear the glowing reviews
of this fantastic
economy and how great the Christmas shopping season is for everybody in the country.
But they're comparing it to last year, and screaming about how
sales are up a whopping five
percent from the Bush doldrums of 2002 - so that's a big victory for tax cuts for the rich.
They don't dare compare sales to when we had an elected
president, a genius who made
the economy sing like it was auditioning for the New York Metropolitan Opera.
The Bush boy continues to skate free of any responsibility because
he has an R after his name
and the American whore media will do anything to protect the party owned by giant corporations.
"Every day there are explosions. People are
killed. This didn't happen before.
I don't say that the government was made up of angels, but there was infrastructure,
security and food. Before the US occupation Iraq was a land without terrorism.
It's now the new Afghanistan."
--Saddam's nephew, on America's "catastrophic" occupation of Iraq, Attribution
After reading the news about the two helicopters
being attacked and the government
controlling the information, here is an update on the "Big Battle" of 12/1/03
commander gives new toll for Samarra clashes
Admits no bodies taken away
Initial story - current story
11 captured - 1 captured
Many wore uniforms - We think some had on uniforms
54 killed - 8 bodies found
no civilian casualties - all 8 civilians, some in cars, blasted while unloading injured at a hospital
favorite quote: "Some of those early reports might have been a bit off," he said.
GW Bush - the world's biggest fuck-up ever
Undoubtedly George W. Bush is the worst fuck-up in the entire history of fuck-ups. Never in US history
has there been a politician who has so completely, devastated the economy of the United States and imperiled
so many future generations of American citizens as this war profiteering scum, George W. Bush.
Never in the history of the world can one
find a single world figure who was as blustering and blundering an idiot
as this colossally blundering retard, George W. Bush. In fact even Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin ladin have never
proven to be as incredibly inept to the point of near certifiable retardation as the globally hated retard, George W. Bush.
Try to name just ONE SINGLE THING in George
W. Bushes ENTIRE LIFE that he didn't completely fuck-up.
You cannot. And do you know why? Because there has never been a single venture or business or political office
or anything in his life in which he has done anything other than completely fuck it up.
I wish I'd said that...
Scheduled for today, this will be
in our next issue.
I'm trying to get the camera to download.
Baron Dave Romm on 'Desperation X-mas'
Joey Ramone Place
Big shakings at Disney
John Amos aids fire victims
Ozzy Osbourne molested
A missing dog returns after 6 years
Jane Fonda in Guatemala
And some links
"As an Iraqi and as Saddam Hussein's nephew
I believe that the 1990 invasion of Kuwait was wrong.
You can't simply march into a country. But there were double standards at play.
When Iraq does it, it is punished. When America does it, nothing happens.
Is it just that Saddam is judged and Bush isn't?
And why is it that only the leaders of third world countries appear in court?"
--Saddam's nephew, on America's "catastrophic" occupation of Iraq, Attribution
The difference is the spineless Democrats who were elected to
do a job, but refused.
Nobody holds the Bush monster accountable for anything.
Bill O'Reilly wants its nonprofit status revoked. RNC reichmaster Ed Gillespie sees it as part of
the "Democrat plan to subvert campaign finance laws." Tom DeLay's office plays phone pranks
on its staffers. A piece in David Horowitz's FrontPage Magazine worries: "It could bypass the
mainstream media, sneak around campaign spending limits, and become its own powerful channel
for Leftist communication, indoctrination and mobilization."
Janklow Goes on Trial in South Dakota
Whitewash expected, he's a Republican
Jury selection began on Monday in the trial of U.S. Rep. Bill Janklow of South Dakota on charges
of manslaughter, reckless driving, speeding and running a stop sign in the death of a motorcyclist.
The veteran politician has pleaded not guilty to causing the death of volunteer firefighter Randy Scott.
A conviction on the second-degree manslaughter
charge, a felony, carries a possible 10-year prison
sentence and $10,000 fine. Under rules of the House, a felony conviction could also result in a separate
investigation by that body and possible expulsion of the state's lone representative.
A former four-term governor, Janklow is a long-time friend of President Bush
Philip J. Berg, Esquire, announced today that he, attorney for Ellen Mariani, wife of Louis Neil Mariani,
who died when United Air Lines flight 175 was flown into the South Tower of the World Trade Center
on 9-11 at a news conference regarding the filing of a detailed Amended Complaint in the United States
District Court for the Eastern District of Pennsylvania on 11/26/03 in the case of Mariani vs. Bush et al
that he is alleging President Bush and officials including, but not limited to Cheney, Ashcroft, Rumsfeld
and Feinberg that they:
1. had knowledge/warnings of 911 and failed to warn or take steps to prevent;
2. have been covering up the truth of 911; and
3. have therefore violated the laws of the United States; and
4. are being sued under the Civil RICO Act.
Muslims see through Bush PR stunt
Bush's visit to Iraq on Thanksgiving Day was a panicky publicity stunt intended to obscure the failing
U.S. occupation, according to many commentators in the international press. Bush's declaration that
the United States is committed to staying in Iraq, while lauded by his few supporters, is neither
welcomed nor believed in the online media of the Islamic world.
Did you see Monday's whore USA Today?
On whore page 10A, they say Bush "spent Thanksgiving" with the troops.
The lying oil man spent 2.5 hours on the ground - that's not "Thanksgiving."
The whore USA Today, doing everything they can to cover for the unelected Bush boy.
Subject: Last issue's Monkey Mail
Dude, that "thank you President Clinton"
email isn't even original.
I got it in my inbox at least three or four times. In fact, a Yahoo! search
on just the portion you printed yields 19 hits, all of them verbatim, or nearly so.
The problem is ...monkeys can't think -
not even one of them.
They have learned to copy and paste, tho...
"When Fox News broadcast the first pictures
around the world, I personally was overcome
by the sight of George Bush pushing the camouflage curtain aside and walking on stage to
the hurrahs of the soldiers - soldiers who were away from the people they loved and cared
about on Thanksgiving Day. I'm not ashamed to say my eyes watered up, just as did George
Bush's - and I'm sure those of many of the soldiers there. George W. Bush, you are the man."
--Weepy Bush whore Ken Hamblin, making us all sick with his hero worship, Attribution
When did Ed McMahon and Dick Clark become the executive producers of Bush's personal appearance schedule?
What's Bush do next? Play a wacky trick on celebrity governor Arnold Shckelgroper?
"Look at yourself captured on our secret cameras, Arnold, you really thought she was going to press charges, didn't you?"
"Ya, W gott me goot dat time!"
Great Christmas Gifts
DENVER -- In a decision that could have
national implications, the Colorado Supreme Court
threw out the state's new congressional districts Monday because the GOP-led Legislature redrew
the maps in violation of the constitution.
...wouldn't it be great if Texas had that rule-of-law thing going too, like in America?
Click to Enter
Option at Convention: Luxury Liner
Tom Delay rents cruise ship for Nazi-Con 2004 prostitutes and drug dealers
It is being billed as the perfect place for celebrations during the Republican National Convention,
with shows, fine works of art, health clubs, bars, cafes, amazing views, luxury staterooms and
restaurants serving cuisine from around the world. And it is just a short walk to Midtown.
The Norwegian Dawn, a 2,240-passenger luxury
cruise liner, has 15 decks, 14 bars and lounges
and babbling brooks. But even docked at a pier on the Hudson River, it is not New York City.
And, to many critics, that is the point.
Tom DeLay, (R-Squirrely bastard) would like
the ship to serve as a floating entertainment center for
GOP bag men, and their guests, when the convention comes to New York City next Aug. 30 to Sept. 2.
Is there any doubt that AOL, Yahoo and Earthlink are the biggest spammers in the world?
These liars pretend they can't control spam, meanwhile
they're selling your e-mail address to
these scumbags who not only fill up your mailbox with unwanted crap, but you have to wait
forever for their little movies and monster-sized graphics to load up just to be sure that it's
spam that you want to erase, the sons of bitches.
Each time AOL rolls out another new version of their software,
they promise that the newer
software does a "better job of filtering out spam," but the bastards won't promise to eliminate
spam because THEY are the ones making millions of dollars by screwing their customers.
By the way...
Marc Perkel has the best anti-spam programs that exist.
I don't know how it works, but the software "learns" what spam is and keeps it out.
If some spam gets thru, you tell the software "This is spam" and it won't allow any more
spam of that type to get thru. If you hate spam, consider Perkel for your hosting needs.
His address is firstname.lastname@example.org
and he will not sell your address and he won't lie to you.
I got damn lucky the day I ran into Marc Perkel.
NOTE from Marc Perkel - It's
not software you install on your computer. It's all done on my
email server. I have to host your email account or email domain for you to take advantage of this.
Thanks for the plug Bartcop. I feel like I'm damn lucky I found you and help start this fine web site.
Here's the Link.
Click to visit
Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
Last issue it was..
....this issue it's
More Americans lives snuffed out by the
Bush gangster's theft of the White House.
Soon - we'll be at 500, and then 800 and then 1000.
Will the Democrats be willing to fight for their country next
Or will they just hand it to Bush on their knees, like they did in 2000 and 2002?
I'm a serious president.
Total deaths since President Giggle and Kill said, "Bring
Plus, at least
2444 wounded for Bush's illegal oil grab.
Many of them are missing arms, legs, eyes and their memories from head wounds.
How much more are we willing to tolerate?
Someone asked last week, "If Bush is dangerous to outspoken liberals, why aren't you in trouble?"
Liberals Finding their Voice
Not since Richard Nixon left the White House have liberals felt so free to be feisty. After decades of being shushed
and shooed aside by centrist Democrats who feared the party's left-wing image was turning off voters, liberals have
kicked their way out of the political closet. They are loud. They are angry. And they've got a whole new attitude.
They mention moveon.org (very deserving) talkingpointsmemo.com
(very deserving) liberaloasis.com
with which I'm not familiar, but more power to anyone who's fighting the Bush bastards, plus my good friend
Mike Stinson who does takebackthemedia.com (very deserving) with my good friend American Stranger.
...but no mention of bartcop.com
I must work harder and be more clever to attract more readers
to get the message out.
December sticker placement contest!
How to win:
To get your stickers, send a self-addressed envelope to:
bartcop.com PO Box 54466 Tulsa, OK 74155
OR, you could PayPal a small donation and get your stickers within 48 hours.
The stickers are free, but donations
Get yours, then send in a digital photo of where you put it.
Click Here for the best November stickers
Winner gets Joe Conason's book, Al Franken's book or your
choice of a subscription
to Maxim Magazine (Maxim has no nudity) or any similarly priced book or magazine.
Send sticker pics to email@example.com
Go f*ck yourself, Mr. President
"I am so sick of George W. Bush: sick of his petulant preppie voice, sick of his studied belligerence,
and, most of all, damned sick of his threats. If we don't toe the line and support his crazed foreign
policy of "preemptive self-defense," he constantly claims, we will reap the whirlwind. As he puts it in
a recent television ad paid for by the Republican National Committee:
"It would take one vial, one canister, one
crate slipped into this country to bring a day of horror
like none we have ever known."
Well, then, how come we're fighting in Iraq
- thousands of miles away from the scene of the terrorists' target?
Instead of kicking the shit out of Iraqi POWs, why aren't those Army reservists inspecting each and every crate
that comes into this country? One vial, one canister, one crate - yes, and if it gets through, Georgie boy, we're
gonna hold you responsible!"
No, the Bush bastards will blame Bill and Hillary Clinton
and the American whore media will agree with them.
If you have something important send it to Sam at firstname.lastname@example.org
Can't get in the members section? Sam can help.
Something on your mind?
Then listen for your voice on...
You have two minutes to speak your piece.
Have you considered subscribing to bartcop.com?
With our Holiday Special, you can sign up for $10
and bring along a friend for only $5.
That means you'll be paying about 25 cents a day, which won't even buy a newspaper full of pro-Bush lies these days.
Hell, you can't buy a pack of Wrigley's gum for 25 cents anymore, can you?
25 cents won't buy you a coke,
25 cents won't buy you a candy bar,
25 cents won't buy you a phone call,
25 cents won't buy you a hamburger, not even at White Castle,
25 cents won't buy you a postage stamp,
25 cents won't buy you hardly anything these days, but it will get you membership in bartcop.com.
November was the worst fund raising month since I stopped getting
a paycheck in February, and the way this works,
if a few dozen people decided they could afford 25 cents a day to become members and listen to BartCop Radio,
which is sounding better than ever, that translates into real money that allows me to continue doing the page full-time.
I guess anyone who's self employed knows that scary feeling when
things get slow, and it's unlikely that I'll ever find a job
that would let me play on the computer 6-8 hours a day like I had at the car lot, so if you appreciate the efforts that go into
producing bartcop.com would you consider joining?
It's almost painless to subscribe, you won't even feel a little
(There's a Tom Delay joke there somewhere, but we won't make it for the sake of the children.)
Subscribe for a year by mail ($100 - PO Box 54466 Tulsa, OK 74155) or send a one-time PayPal for that amount,
and get a phone call from Bart. I know, B-F-D to get a call from Bart, but I'm too busy doing the page and the Radio
Show to think up clever promotional stunts to get people to subscribe - it's the best up with which my IQ of 64 can come.
Remember: The BFEE owns the networks, the newspapers and
The internet is all we have, so if you have 25 cents a day, consider helping the majority's voice to be heard
by supporting bartcop.com and ANY site that's fighting the illegal bastard who stole the White House.
If you don't subscribe, Bush might win another four years and
gasoline will to go $4.00 a frigging gallon
and then you'll feel guilty and I want to prevent that from happening.
And if you're not scared enough, if Bush wins in 2004,
consider how the bastard will govern when he never has to face the voters again.
Female U.S. Soldier Alleges Rape in Kuwait
A female soldier reported she was raped at a desert post in Kuwait where her unit
was preparing for its mission in Iraq a military official said Sunday. Maj. Vic Harris,
a spokesman for the U.S. military in Kuwait, confirmed that the female soldier was
with the Stryker battalion at Camp Udairi, where the rape allegedly occurred Saturday.
Female soldiers said they were exercising
caution in the camp after dark.
There are about 310 women in the brigade of about 5,000 soldiers.
"It's sad. You can't trust your own people," said
Staff Sgt. Theresa Spicer.
Could this have happened?
I got a lot of mail offering a Nancy Grace guarantee that Jessica Lynch wasn't raped.
If our soldiers do it, why do we think the soldiers of the invaded country wouldn't?"
"This is a technology that just clicks for (Democrats)
somehow," says Josh Marshall, the 34-year-old author
of Talkingpointsmemo.com, a left-leaning weblog. Marshall says he gets about 40,000 readers a day.
His recent appeal for contributions to finance a reporting trip on the New Hampshire primary yielded $4,864
in less than 24 hours. "I never thought I'd say this, but no more contributions!" Marshall wrote on his site.
In the U.K., even conservatives criticize Bush
The Bush administration's apologists like to pretend that harsh assessments of its foreign policy are confined
to the most ideological or anti-American media outlets. But as Andrew Neil proved in yesterday's Scotsman,
such criticism is no longer confined to the most ideological or hostile media outlets (if it ever was). A former
Tory Party staffer who has worked in America, Neil has ample conservative credentials -- and during the
months leading to the invasion of Iraq, he established himself as one of the United Kingdom's most voluble
hawks. The former Murdoch editor is rightly concerned about the progress of the war against Islamist terror,
and he doesn't flinch from admitting that he is deeply disturbed by what he learned during a recent visit to Washington.
"When things get tough, do what Bart does:
Say to stress 'Eat me' and then go about your day."
Holiday Shopping online?
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Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright '© 2003, bartcop.com
If your GOP workplace doesn't want you to
see the truth, use these mirrors.
Shrl, call The BartPhone,
just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Joint on your next American tour.
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