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America where are you now?
Don't you care about your sons and daughters?
Don't you know we need you now.
We can't fight alone against this monster
Quote of the Day
"We expect to see an increase in violence
"On a personal basis, Rockefeller is a pretty
Reagan on a personal basis, is terrible. He just isn't pleasant to be around.
He's just an uncomfortable man to be around - strange."
-- Dick Ni xon, telling the truth for the first and last time Attribution
Eight Demo candidates ganged up on Howard Dean and President Gore,
hoping to take the luster off Gore's newly minted endorsement of Dean.
"We're not going to have a coronation,"
snapped John Edwards.
"To quote another former Democratic leader, I
think elections are about people,
not about the powerful," said Wesley Clark. "I think it was Al Gore who said that."
I think this should be the last debate like this.
It's possible the Clark campaign reads bartcop.com,
so I'm going to give them some advice.
The general should not be involved in any more of these nine-way debates.
If any more are scheduled, Clark should drop out. This is becoming a circus.
The next time Clark debates, it should be mano-a-mano with Dean or the Pinhead.
Clark is too big to be described as "one of Dean's rivals."
Dean and Clark are clearly the people's
choice, and it's unclear if the Gore endorsement
has done Dean a lot of good. Yesterday, the vulgar junkie did a skit where Gore said he
would endorse Dean because Dean was the only one who'd accept his phone call.
Yesterday's talking heads said this was
a "bold" move for Gore, because by endorsing Dean
11 months before the election, anyone else who endorses Dean now will be seen as following
Gore, thus enhancing Gore's status as a visionary and a strong decision maker. If only we had
some of that in 2000, it might be the GOP holding debates with nine candidates.
So - to my good friends in the Clark campaign,
now is the time to pull out. The general is not
one of the nameless, faceless nine wannabees. It's sad when a plain girl doesn't get asked to dance,
but there's no reason for her to hang around while the band packs up their instruments.
This dance is over for everyone but Dean and Clark.
"Their voices have been heard. They elected
me to be governor, and they sent me up here to do the job.
That's what I'm here to do, and so that's why I'm concentrating on this right now."
-- Culli-fornia's Gropenfurhrer, on why he cancelled his groping investigation Attribution
My family does a Christmas present name
draw so we only have to buy one present instead of 8.
This year, I have drawn the name of my Tom-DeLay-clone brother-in-law.
I asked him what he wanted, and he is milking
this for all it is worth. He asked for Ollie "Convicted Felon" North's
new book on his experience as an embedded reporter in Iraq. He knows full well how much it will pain me for any
of my hard-earned money to go this despicable human being. I protested to my wife, but she insists I give him what he asked for.
Can you remind me again how to purchase from Amazon so that Bart gets thrown a bone in the process?
Dennis, just go to the bottom of the page where it says Holiday
Punch in Ollie the Traitor and since you went in using that portal, they'll send me four cents.
What if you said you bought him North's book but instead gave
him 2 CDs
with the last three great-sounding BartCop Radio shows on them?
Attribution (Stars and Stripes) saw it on Atrios
So the boss came to visit us on Thanksgiving,
under wraps and under the American flag.
Thanks for coming.
Oh thank you, kind leader, merciful leader,
for taking one day out of your busy schedule to visit us.
The shepherd looking over his flock. Thanks for making the sacrifice. God knows we're making one.
Re-election is coming up, but that had nothing to do with it, now did it?
I remember your victorious landing on the
Oh how all those then alive, and now dead, would love to sit down next to you, cutting their families' turkeys
and filling the empty seats at the tables. Leader of the free world, be our guest at the head of our table.
Or would you like to sit in one of the many
empty seats left by the war?
There's plenty of room.
Enough turkey and stuffing to go around.
Fat and happy, delirious and exhausted.
That's how I feel.
In a hurry?
Going so soon?
Have time for questions?
You sure do have time for compliments.
Do you ever feel responsible?
I'm tired of this.
Go back home to the ranch and tell them how happy and fulfilling the trip made you feel.
Spc. Damian Torres
Subject: I share your instincts
Much like yourself, I'm old enough to know
how these Bush bastards campaign.
They're gonna' rip Dean a new one on the military/homeland security issue.
$170 million can buy a lot of "elitist liberal, out-of-tune with America" kind of ads.
If Dean wins the nomination, and turns out to be another Clinton
on the campaign trail,
we could still win, but what are the odds of Dean being another Clinton?
...and they have much more than $170M
If Bush gets into trouble, BIG OIL will give him another $200
They got billions in tax breaks - they won't let their boy lose.
The Wall Street Poet
Zell Miller (R-Traitor) on Jon Stewart
A glass violin
Jimmy Kimmel picked up til 2005
An interview with Liza Minnelli
Jerry Seinfeld & the 'B' movie
Pink's days at McDonald's
Whitney, Bobby & bruises
Ahnold says it's time to move on
MC Hammer's new WB series
And a Siberian tiger
The BBC and Iraq; Myth and reality
Greg Dyke, the BBC's director general, has attacked American television reporting of Iraq.
"For any news organisation to act as a cheerleader for government is to undermine your credibility," he said.
"They should be... balancing their coverage, not banging the drum for one side or the other." He said research
showed that, of 840 experts interviewed on American news programmes during the invasion of Iraq, only four
opposed the war. "If that were true in Britain, the BBC would have failed in its duty."
America's good puppy press doesn't know how to report any more.
All they're doing is licking Bush's ass and begging for a cute nickname.
With Clinton, they (even the NY Whore Times) printed every wild-ass
story Rush and Drudge made up,
but with Bush, they won't even ask him how many times he's been convicted of a crime.
It's so incredibly disgusting.
West Wing poker was a lot of fun.
The biggest surprise was how much they don't know about poker!
Bartlet was first out - I'm not sure he understood what "all in" means.
Right after that, CJ goes all in with a pair of fours with
two sixes on the table.
Trouble is, Leo has a pair of sixes in his hand.
Four sixes is really damn hard to beat in poker.
Regan, would you invite the WW gang to Pokerfest 2004 in Vegas?
Martin Sheen, especially, since he's the highest paid and not familiar with the game :)
These televised poker games are teaching an entire nation how
to play bad poker.
Nobody in last night's game has ever heard, "Know when to fold 'em," but go figure,
very often the worst player won hueueueuge pots because he didn't have the sense to get out.
And Toby was the big winner, even tho he played horribly all night.
He was down to under 5K
in chips when the others had 15K and 19K, and he goes "all in" on a 9-Jack.
That was a crazy move, but Busfield had a worse hand and he went
all in, so Toby doubled up.
All night, the worst moves won, and some of them were even worse than Jerry Buss plays.
Subject: I voted for Nader
I'm one of the people who voted for Nader.
A vote for Nader is a vote for Nader.
Period. It is a vote for the candidate who I found best qualified.
In absence of a better candidate, I've been known to write in my mother's name.
I do not believe in that I in any way elected the BFEE.
My state was a Gore state, anyway, and not one of the "swing" states.
The Gore state gives you some cover, but
in swing states, Nader voters helped Bush,
and until the election is over you can't be sure if you're a swing state or not. (except in
obvious coyote states like TX, OK, Carolina etc.) Please don't do that again - please?
You're the one to berate the "pink tutu"
democrats for folding under pressure.
Is giving up one's beliefs on the assumption that this will get the BFEE out of office the same thing?
No, electing Bush and electing Gore are
very different things.
Somehow, Nader convinced people that if they vote funny and help Bush get in, somehow they get to
feel like, noble inside, but Bush is still a murdering monster who's killing the American dream for tens of millions.
In the 50s, civil rights was extremely unpopular,
and I notice that seems to have changed
because people were willing to risk for the right thing.
Flaw in your logic: In the 50s, your
choices were holding still or moving forward.
What if, back in the 50s, your choices were to vote for civil rights vs more lynchings?
If those were the choices, it might've been better to slow down the "advancement."
Similarly, with Bush, we're dealing with
moving - forward or backwards, but there's no holding still.
America is so much worse off than it was in 1958 or 2000, the internet can't hold all the examples.
Please vote for the democrat this time - maybe we can stop Bush.
The American people will admire someone
who stands behind the courage of his/her convictions.
What you are suggesting sounds like waffling and compromise in order to get something a little better.
What I'm hearing (which could be different
from what you're saying) is that you'd risk another Bush
disaster in order to stick with "your principles." I'm guessing that you're female, black and gay,
and you'd really rather have "your principles" and another four years of Bush?
People will not take gay marriage seriously
if we are not willing to take it seriously ourselves.
Again, this is purely nominal. I am very happily single.
As with all e-mail exchanges, you haven't had a chance to see, evaluate or reply to my lynching analogy.
It's my opinion that the choices here are:
Push hard to win the "M" word, but risk everything and I mean everything as in "lynching" gay rights,
Take the Supreme Court rulings
as half-a-loaf victories and elect a gay-friendly president
who can reverse the disasterous path the fascist bastards are leading us down.
I appreciate the frank and fiesty give-and-take.
Great Christmas Gifts
My mailbox is burning
Get a drink, visit the restroom - a lot of people had a lot to say.
High court to debate Miranda rights, again
Thirty-seven years after it was decided, the Miranda decision remains the Supreme Court's most
contentious criminal procedure ruling. The court has revisited the ruling nearly 50 times, expanding
and clarifying the right and establishing exceptions that allow police and prosecutors to use some
confessions even if a proper warning wasn't given. Some departments contend that the Miranda
warning is optional, required by law only if a statement is intended to be used in court. Defense
lawyers and defendants' rights advocates hotly dispute that.
I've got a pretty good Miranda rant - if I could just get my audio programs to work.
Click Here to hear my description of the problem that you'll also hear.
At this point, it looks like I'll have to once again wipe the
entiree hard drive clean
and hope the people at Microsoft and Creative labs know what the hell they're doing.
...or I might just shoot myself - that sure would be easier.
I Want to Live!
MTV has gotten away from music videos, and
on the rare occasions when they play some,
it's usually some thug rap which has failed to make it onto the very busy BartCop Radar.
But Friday morning MTV ran 46664, the Nelson
Mandela AIDS Awareness concert.
More on that in a second, but to be sure I got it all, I set the VCR for an hour ahead of time
in case the starting time was East Coast. Eirily, MTV played some videos before the show
and I caught the great new video by No Doubt, called "It's My Life."
I guess the video is new, but it's from The Singles 1992-2003
I've always been very impressed by No
Doubt's song writing ability.
In this newest song, it starts out as a decent song and then boom!
It takes this great turn and goes up a whole 'nother level.
The melody is now stuck in my head, and that's bad news for everyone :)
But the video, if I'm not mistaken, is from
In the forties and fifties, there was a hottie named Susan Hayward.
She did a shocking (for the times) movie called "I Want to Live."
Before the Texacutioner made murdering women
an everyday thing, it was rarely done
in the black & white days, but this movie took it a step further. If you've seen the
No Doubt video, they pretty much duplicate the ending of the movie.
I saw this on TV about 40 years ago so my
memory's not perfect, but I remember
Susan Hayward begging for her life - which gave us the title. They drag her kicking
and screaming to the California gas chamber, and it was all very Hitchcockian.
They strap these gorgeous babe onto the
chair inside the gas chamber. Then they showed
the egg-sized tablets of cyanide (that's just a guess) ...and ...the bucket beneath her chair.
After a whole lot of tension, those tablets
finally fall while Susan Hayward is screaming
"I want to live" as the clouds of poison gas fill the chamber ...and then she's gone.
Oh, by the way, she was innocent,
framed by the real killers before we had DNA and forensics.
I hadn't thought of that movie in several decades, but watching Gwen Stefani in handcuffs
and chains while kicking at her jailers brought it all back.
By the way, did you catch No Doubt
Billboard Awards last night?
They're on Jimmy Kimmel tonight. I'm sure they'll be playing this great song.
And we need another No Doubt/Garbage tour, don't you think?
"Avoid all needle drugs - the only dope worth
shooting is Richard Nixon."
-- Abby Hoffman
Abby, the guy we got now is lots worse than Nixon.
If you have something important send it to Sam at email@example.com
Can't get in the members section? Sam can help.
Click to Enter
Two more killed in Iraq attacks
Proof we're winning
Two U.S. soldiers were killed and four wounded Wednesday in Mosul.
The emergency landing of a U.S. helicopter near Fallujah, west of Baghdad,
was likely the result of ground fire by insurgents, the military said.
I'm so tired of counting the American dead.
How soon until election day?
300 more days?
Can we take 300 more days of this?
by Gene Lyons
Alas, in practice only the most flagrant transgressors, such as the New York Times' Jayson Blair
or The New Republic's Stephen Glass--reporters who faked bylines, made-up imaginary interviews,
and wrote fiction disguised as news--get punished. Driven by cable-TV celebrity, Washington has
developed a star-system rivalling that of Hollywood, or more aptly, perhaps, the old Soviet Politburo.
Politicians come and go, but the Tim Russerts, George Wills and and William Safires remain forever.
The ethical effect has been disastrous.
"Once a degree of celebrity is attained," I argued " the star system
functions to protect even the most egregious offenses." Consider, for example, Washington Post columnist
Charles Krauthammer. A former practicing psychiatrist, Krauthammer's stock in trade has become
describing opponents of President Bush and the Iraq war as crazy.
Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
Last issue it was..
....this issue it's
More Americans lives snuffed out by Gangster's theft of the White House.
Soon - we'll be at 500, and then 800 and then 1000.
Will the Democrats be willing to fight for their country next
Or will they just hand it to Bush on their knees, like they did in 2000 and 2002?
"I'm as serious as McCain's
wife having breast cancer."
Total deaths since President Giggle and Kill said, "Bring
Plus, at least
wounded for Bush's illegal oil grab.
Many of them are missing arms, legs, eyes and their memories from head wounds.
Oh, and the burn victims will make your heart sink.
How much more are we willing to tolerate?
Subject: stupid Democrats
The Demos really blew it in NH. When asked
"Those of you who believe
that Howard Dean can beat George Bush please raise your hands"?
None of them except Dean raised their hands.
My point is that every hand should have
gone up last night.
We can beat George W if we all hang together.
John, I believe the democrats would rather hang separately.
You watch, Team B.F.E.E. is compiling a commercial with sound-bite snippets
that explain, in the Democrats' own words, why they're not fit to lead America.
Of course, our side can't imagine doing anything like that.
Remember Jon Stewart held a debate between Gov Bush and President Bush,
where the twoy argued over nation-building and sending troops to far away places?
The goddamn comedians can think of effective ways to prove
Bush is a lying loser,
but the democrats are sitting around holding a broom in their hands, and they're going
to promise to "sweep the rascals out of Washington."
Were none of them alive in 1992 and 1996 when Clinton showed them how to win?
I need a drink.
December sticker placement contest!
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I recently subscribed to BartCop for $5.00
(I'm a math teacher at a high school and a university.)
Now I know that gets me in to listen to
the latest BartCop Radio,
(It seems to be working O.K. thanks very much, but I usually don't have the time to sit and listen.
I should try getting someone to burn them on dvd or maybe put them on my mp3 player?. . .)
Many people do that, especially commuters.
If you have an hour train ride to get home, or a long ride
to Grandma's for the holidays, I can't think of a better way to spend that time than listening to BCR.
What else is the subscription good for?
Seeing the partially finished edition of the webpage a day early?
Not much use.
Like many things, it depends on what you
do with it. Getting tomorrow's page today, you might see that
I'm doing a story on your favorite subject, but I have something wrong. This is your chance to straighten
me out or prevent me from embarrassing myself. Subscribers can e-mail me and get their comments in the
issue before it's published. That works a lot better than, "Remember that story from yesterday?"
For instance, if Hollywood would let me
see first drafts of their major films, I could point out to them
the glaring plot holes and continuity mistakes that torpedoe* most films. Trust me, if they had screened
Panic Room, Signs and Scary Movie 3 for me, I could've saved all three films. And I would've told
them to save the advertising and distribution costs for the barely-watchable Unbreakable.
Plus, subscribers have access to a private
mailbox, and first crack at opportunities such as the upcoming
Pokerfest to be held in January in fabulous Las Vages, which is sure to be a sellout.
We are currently undergoing a "reorganization"
where I hope to have a dozen assistants working on
projects that will free up some time to where there will be more radio shows and little additions to
the members page such as short, funny films. I hope you find your membership worth the money.
...and your stickers are on their way.
Dean Become A Sitting Duck?
by Joe Conason
And what of Dr. Dean's record in Vermont? He deserves credit for his successes, notably in expanding
health-care coverage. But that isn't the whole story - and the former governor seems determined to
prevent reporters and opponents from looking at the state documents he placed under seal in 2002.
That may protect him until the primaries
are effectively over. But how will he criticize Cheney for meeting
secretly with energy-industry lobbyists, if he won't release the records of his own meetings with nuclear-power
executives in Vermont? Dr. Dean replies sharply that Mr. Bush, too, hid his gubernatorial records. On this and
many other issues, however, the national media will treat the challenger more skeptically than the incumbent.
Something on your mind?
Then listen for your voice on...
You have two minutes to speak your piece.
With our Holiday Special, you can subscribe for $10
and bring along a friend for only $5.
You only pay about 25 cents a day, which won't even buy a paper of Bush lies these days.
Subscribe for a year by mail ($100 - PO Box 54466 Tulsa, OK 74155) or send a one-time PayPal for that amount,
and get a phone call from Bart. Remember: The B.F.E.E. owns the networks, the newspapers and talk radio.
The internet is all we've got. And consider how the bastard will govern when he never has to face the voters again.
Subject: being anti-Bush can cost you
I take my paycheck to his bank (a half block
away) and cash it. I have been doing this for OVER two years.
I went in to cash my check and got a young teller who has helped me before. He took my ID and info and was
processing the check when he asked me about opening an account. I mentioned I pay cash as it is not the
government's business what I buy. (He gave me a funny look).
He then asked about a charge card and I
said, "Not in today's economy."
He said, "The economy is the best it's been in 20 years!"
He's been watching FOX or listening to the vulgar addict.
I said that is false information and that
yes corporations are hiring lots of people and projecting good employment
but that they are all hiring overseas not any Americans and that jobs are a disaster. He again looked tight-jawed.
Then all of a sudden he needed to verify
the signature. After five minutes he said he'd be right back
and took it to a bank manager!
10 minutes later, I go back to them and say, "What's the problem? Just call the office." It took over 15 minutes to cash this check.
Needless to say, I will not go there again
and will just take it to my credit union, something that is inconvenient
I was shocked!
This little neocon was jacking me around because I didn't buy into his crap!!
The Nazi's are everywhere!! Watch what you say.
It sounds like the little Nazi-in-training needs a Size 11 boot
in his ass.
If I sent you some bartcop stickers, would you drop one off to him? :)
Subject: asshole - just like your boss (dubya)
Hold your head up.
One day, when a Democrat fights back,
If we can ever get the GOP in a fair fight,
we will kick their lying asses back to Houston.
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That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Joint on your next American tour.
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