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Show 35 - Bush's Breakdown Beatdown, is UP
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  In Today's Treehouse...
CIA planting WMDs in Iraq?
Bush's big Crack Up
Rummy: Deaths are Higher
D-r-i-v-e   b-y   N-e-w-
Helen Thomas on Bush 
Woody: Secret Iraq Plans
Molly Ivins on Bush
Bush's Tet
A Soldier's Sacrifice 


Quote of the Day

"We stand for a culture of responsibility in America. 
  We're changing the culture of this country from one 
  that has said, if it feels good, do it, and if you got a 
  problem, blame somebody else, to a culture in which 
  each of us are responsible for the decisions we make."  
    --Dubya, blaming Clinton for everything,  Attribution

"Clinton is responsible..."

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Volume 1296 - House proud town mouse

  Friday   April  16, 2004

 Dueling Quotes

"George Tenet met with the president every morning before 9/11."
    -- Kinda Sleazy, 3/28/04,   Attribution

"CIA records show that despite increased threat warnings, Tenet briefed
  the president only twice in August - once in Crawford, Tex., on Aug. 17,
  and once in Washington, on Aug. 31.  Tenet added that "I don't have a
  recollection of being called" by the White House to do any more briefings, either."
     --Washington Whore Post, 4/14/04,   Attribution

  If one of them is lying, about something as material to the crux as this,
  perjury charges should be filed against one or both of these people.

 New Reports on U.S. Planting WMDs in Iraq 

"We will find WMDs - I guarantee it!"

  Click  Here

 An Iraqi source close to the Basra Governor's Office told the MNA that new information shows
 that a large part of the WMD, which was secretly brought to southern and western Iraq over the
 past month, are in containers falsely labeled as containers of the Maeresk shipping company and
 some consignments bearing the labels of organizations such as the Red Cross or the USAID in
 order to disguise them as relief shipments.

 Granted, this is just a rumor, but I want it on the record if WMDs are someday found in Maeresk
 containers or Red Cross containers or the USAID containers.  If that happens, it'll be harder for
 the BFEE to discredit his accusers since they called it ahead of time.

  Care to comment?


"I have never been afraid of Bush the way I was the other night.  Is there a single sliver of doubt left
  that the man couldn't craft a coherent thought if you spotted him the subject, the verb, and the unlimited
  use of Peggy Noonan?  He marches blithely on, armed with his own invincible ignorance.  I no longer care
  whether or not he's dumber than a bag of hammers, or whether he's uneducated or uncurious, or whether
  he's simple and plain or arrogant and foolish.  What is plain is that he's not up to this job."
     --Charles Pierce,  Altercation,

 The crack-up
   by Chris Floyd

  Click  Here

 And what a sickening spectacle these "leaders" presented last weekend: George W. Bush and Tony Blair
 piously kneeling in prayer on Easter Sunday, pledging their fealty to Jesus Christ and His teachings of mercy
 and lovingkindness -- while ordering missile strikes on crowded cities, while filling hospitals with the mutilated
 bodies of young children, while shoveling fat war profits to their cronies and contributors. Only the most craven,
 bootlicking sycophant could fail to be revolted at the hypocrisy of these murderous cynics. They're a perfect
 match in moral idiocy for their crack-brained brother-in-arms, Osama bin Laden.

 Yes, Hitlerite ambitions: dreams of global dominance, fetishes of militarism, fantasies of superiority, and the
 willingness to impose your self-serving vision of "universal truth" -- in this case, the rapacious crony capitalism
 that Bush has officially named "the single sustainable model of national success" -- at the barrel of a gun.
 That's what lies behind this madness.

 I believe Chris Floyd reads  bartcop.com

 Care to comment?


Get your 'Stop the War' accessories

Infant creeper


"Uma Thurman - wow - I'd like to bang her until her head fell off."
   -- Howard Stern on his E! TV show, being funny, crude  ...and illegal?         Attribution - the tape in my VCR

 In Bush's Amerikkka, can we allow such filth?
 It's possible in the very, very near future you may be forced to make that distinction.

 You may be asked to stand up for people like Howard Stern, Buzzflash and Larry Flynt.
 You may be asked to stand up for Janet Jackson, Fear Factor (shudder) and  bartcop.com
 You may be asked to stand up for that mentally-unbalanced handjob with the crucixion in urine.
 If you remain seated in the next six months, John Ashcroft could become America's Central Scrutinizer.
 They could turn the TV networks over to Bill Bennett - for our "protection from terrorism."
 They could turn the NY Whore Times over to Roger Ailes (Or have they already done that?)
 If Bush wins in November, he's going to go f-ing crazy.

 He lost the election in 2000 and he still grabbed power like he was FDR on LBJ's birthday.
 If he somehow, on paper, wins this next election, he will go "all in" with the religious insanity.

 Knowing the Democrats, they'll lie down this fall and give the GOP a filibuster-proof majority across
 the entire political spectrum, ...and then the Bill of Rights will be lynched on the White House lawn.

 Subject: Arianna back in the treehouse?


 This picture help you decide.

 Dude, thanks for getting that.

 Subject: Arianna back in the treehouse?

 Dear Bart,

 Arianna Huffington IS California's Nader.  I live here; I know.
 In fact, you printed a letter I wrote about her during the recall.

 God, I still recall working the phones at the union hall and walking the
 streets to campaign against the gropinator, and we could get nowhere.

 The media was in the bag for the groper , and they could use Ms. Huffington's
 comments the way that FAUX news uses their fake liberal quotes for propaganda.
 She LET herself be used, just like Nader did.  It's quite generous of you to excuse
 her for being a former Republican , but to forgive her AGAIN...well, maybe it's
 easier if you live in Oklahoma.  But you better be careful, if the groper goes for
 the White House , Arianna's actions could affect this whole country.

 I, for one, won't buy her book

 Subject: Arianna back in the treehouse?

 Hmmmm.   You'll do as you wish of course.   It's your treehouse and even though
 I read her columns with amazement that she could evolve so quickly and so well,
 I'm in Calif. and .... we are so screwed you cannot believe.

 I'm still bitter.

 Rosa, I understand, and nobody can tell you you have to feel otherwise,
 but I think she'll be fighting the BFEE harder than most "always Democrats"
 and I'd hate for that bloody Bush Monster to "win" by just a few votes.

 Hell, I'd let Judas Maximus help if he could make a difference this year.

             Is that Judas?
     He looks more like Tom Delay...

 He looks nothing like me...

 CIA warned of attacks as early as 1995 
  Clinton didn't spend 40 percent of his presidency on vacation

..I am a monkey
  President George W. Bush pauses during
  his nationally televised news conference at
  the White House April 13, 2004. While
  struggling unsuccessfully to think of a single
  mistake he has made since the 9-11 attacks,
 Bush committed three factual errors about
 weapons finds in Libya, the White House
 said on April 14.    Photo by Jason Reed

  Click  Here

 The CIA warned as early as 1995 that Islamic extremists were likely to attack U.S. aviation,
 Washington landmarks or Wall Street and by 1997 had identified Osama bin Laden as an
 emerging threat on U.S. soil, a senior intelligence official said Thursday.

 The report specifically warned that civil aviation, Washington landmarks such as the White House
 and Capitol and buildings on Wall Street were at the greatest risk of a domestic terror attack
 by Muslim extremists, the official said.

  Care to comment?

 Subject:  Spain did the Right Thing

 The Bush administration complains that Spain is giving into terrorism because Spain is pulling out of Iraq.
 But this is not the case. When Spain was attacked by Bin Laden they realized that they were making an
 error supporting Bush's phony war in Iraq. That they could no longer waste their resources on Iraq and
 that they should go after the real terrorists instead. I just hope that someday we in America figure out that
 it's more effective to go after the real enemy - Bin Laden - rather than fake enemies like Iraq.

 Marc Perkel
 San Francisco, CA

 Report: Smoky Mountains 'Beginning to Die'
  Karl Rove and Dow Chemical throw big party

  Click  Here

 Tom Cruise Raises $1.2M for WTC Workers
  Hubbard program to aid the brave workers who were poisoned by Bush's silence

  Click  Here

 Soldiers' wives frustrated by delays in Iraq
 "We're all disgusted and exhausted. You don't have another choice."

  Click  Here

 Risque ads are now too risky for Madison Ave
  Ashcroft's Morality Mullah's say "No," to American-style ads

  Click  Here

 FOX puts 24 up against ABC's Alias and HBO's Sopranos
  You'll need three VCRs to get thru this weekend

  Click  Here

Click for more

 Stern belongs on radio just as much as Rush
  by Roger Ebert

  Click  Here

"Like millions of Americans, I listen to Howard Stern on the radio in the mornings. I think he is smart,
 quick and funny. Sometimes he is ''offensive,'' but to be quite frank, I am not ''offended,'' because what
 he says falls within the realm of words and subjects that, as an adult, I have long been familiar with even
 without the tutelage of Stern.

 Unlike millions of Americans, I do not listen to Rush Limbaugh on the radio. One reason for that is that I
 am usually at the movies when he's on the air -- an alternative I urge on his listeners. Limbaugh does offend
 me when I monitor him, because he has cheapened political discourse in this country with his canned slogans
 and cheap shots. Once you call a feminist a ''feminazi,'' what else is there to say about feminism?

 Of course you may disagree with me and prefer Limbaugh. I may disagree with you and prefer Stern.
 That is our right as Americans. What offends me is that the right wing, secure in its own right to offend,
 now wants to punish Stern to the point where he may be forced off the air."

 Subject: Yesterday's mugger analogy

 Russ was on the right track but left a few things out.

What if the bodyguard and the mugger had a history of doing business together,
     as the Bush and Bin Laden families did?

What if the bodyguard helped the muggers get away---like Bin Laden family members
     were allowed to fly out of the states on 9/12 when no other planes were allowed in the air?

What if your mugging sent your bodyguard's approval ratings skyrocketing?
     What if your bodyguard personally benefitted from your mugging?

     Isn't there a Bart's law about people benefitting from mistakes, and those mistakes being repeated?

 Drew in CT.

 Drew, you bet - it's  Bart's Law #2

< Any time a person or entity makes a "mistake" that puts extra money in their pocket,
< expect them to make that "mistake" again and again and again.>

  The BFEE made tons of blood money in Gulf War 1991 on Poppy Bush's intentional "mistake,"
  but they hit the Powerball Jackpot with Bumble-Monkey's intentional Gulf War II "mistake."

  Care to comment?

 Rumsfeld: U.S. deaths in Iraq higher than expected
  I'll bet the BFEE's profit margin was higher than expected, too

  Click  Here

 At least 88 U.S. soldiers, several more civilians and hundreds of Iraqis have died this month,
 as insurgent fighters battled the American-led occupation. Most causalities have come since April 4.

"I certainly would not have estimated that we would have had the number of individuals lost
 that we have had lost in the last week," Rumsfeld said in answer to questions at the Pentagon on Thursday.
 Rumsfeld said 20,000 troops will stay in Iraq longer than they had been told to help quell the violence.

 Mr. Rumsfeld, I have a question:
 You said Sadr has between between 1,000 and 6,000 followers, "in a country of 25 million people."
 Why do you need 20,000 well-trained, well-armed, satellite-coordinated U.S. troops to handle them?

 The BFEE has only just begun to make money from this unnecessary, bloody war. When the shooting stops,
 (it will stop someday, right?) our military is going to need thousands of new super-expensive tanks and Bradley
 fighting vehicles. Good thing Poppy Bush owns a big chunk of the corporation that builds those tanks, eh?

 Also, with our weapons depleted and our ammunitions in need of replacement, why not get the best
 and buy some newer weapons that are made by other companies owned by BFEE tentacles?

 Plus, to cut costs, Adnon Khashoggi can sell some of these newer weapons to Israel, Britain and Poland
 and kick back 20 percent to Poppy Bush for being the middleman.

 Next, Neil Bush can unveil the newest/best super military software ever encoded and make $20M,
 but he'll hire someone who can make the presentation because Neil doesn't have any idea how it works.
 Oh, and have a hooker at his hotel by 10 PM if you want the deal to go thru.

 And think of the valuable experience Halliburton and KBR have gained from this war.
 When it's time for Jeb's illegal Gulf War III, only Halliburton will have the tools, skills and experience
 to feed, clothe, launder, cell-phone and house our fighting men in the 2009 version of Bush's war.

 Remember what James Cagney said, "Never steal anything small."

 Subject: BCR Show 35


 Enjoyed the beatdown of the Bush bastard.
 Makes me proud to be a subscriber.

 Keep Hammerin'



"This goofy child president we have on our hands now. He is demonstrably a fool and a failure,
  and this is only the summer of '03." . . . The American nation is in the worst condition I can
  remember in my lifetime, and our prospects for the immediate future are even worse. I am
  surprised and embarrassed to be a part of the first American generation to leave the country
  in far worse shape than it was when we first came into it. The Bush family must be very proud
  of themselves today, but I am not. Big Darkness, soon come. Take my word for it."
      -- Hunter S. Thompson, ("Big Darkness," ESPN.com, July 22, 2003)

 Bush says he can't think of any mistakes
     by Helen Thomas

  Click  Here

 President Bush told his news conference that he couldn't think of any mistakes he has made since he was inaugurated.
 Well, let me try to help. Let's start with his invasion of Iraq.

 The mistake was the false premise underlying the U.S. invasion, a trumped-up claim that Bush insisted on repeating
 Tuesday night when he claimed that Saddam Hussein was "a threat to the region, he was a threat to the United States."
 And he had weapons of mass destruction that posed an imminent danger to us.

 Asked about any parallel with Vietnam, Bush dismissed such a comparison, saying it would send the wrong message
 to the troops and the wrong message to the enemy. That sure reminds me of  LBJ and Nixon.  Even more reminiscent
 was Bush's constant refrain: "We are going to stay the course." It was 1967 and 1970 all over again..

  Care to comment?

 Subject: subscription

 Hey Bart!
 How do I update my $10 to $25 to make up for some of the whiny-ass wimps who can't take a freakin' joke?

 And I'm pretty sure that whoever thinks John Wayne could act also thinks
 Jerry Lewis is the greatest comedian ever and that Laura Bush is a hottie!


 ha ha
 Probably the best way to fix that is to log in to PayPal, do your login and password then go to "Profile"
 and kill the first subscription, then go to  http://www.bartcop.com/subscribe6.htm and, while scrolling down,
 close your eyes and trust the gods of fate to point your mouse towards a not-that-big number.

 Thanks, it's cool to have backup :)

Marty's Entertainment Page


"OK, you ask me a question and I'll pretend I'm Bush: You: Mr. President, can you ever
  admit to making any mistakes?- Saddam Hussein was a bad man. A real evildoer. And we're
  about freedom. Terrorists don't like freedom. Freedom makes terrorists feel all sick inside,
  like they got the flu and the mumps combined. That's why we need the Patriot Act. For the
  freedom of all Americans and the world. We don't want to feel like we got the mumps and
  flu, either. Nobody wants that. Especially the people that Saddam Hussein gassed--his own people.
  When I wake up in the morning the first thing I think about is freedom. And then I think about
  Fruit Loops. But freedom, first. Freedom always comes first. Even before Fruit Loops."
     --Dr. Menlo, Can That Asshole Answer One Question?

 No, he can't - and the press just rolled over and let him get away with it.


 Woodward book alleges secret Iraq War plan 

  Click  Here

 Bush secretly ordered a war plan drawn up against Iraq less than two months after U.S.
 forces attacked Afghanistan and was so worried the decision would cause a furor he did
 not tell everyone on his national security team, says a new book on his Iraq policy.

 Bush feared that if news got out about the Iraq plan as U.S. forces were fighting another conflict,
 people would think he was too eager for war, journalist Bob Woodward (R-GOP tool, liar and Whore)
 writes in "Plan of Attack," a behind-the-scenes account of the 16 months leading to the Iraq invasion.

 Woodward says Bush told Rumsfeld to keep quiet about it and when Rummy asked to bring
 George Tenet into the planning at some point, the president said not to do so yet.

 Gee, what a startling revelation - the stumbling, bumble-monkey was hot to go to war?
 Readers of  bartcop.com  knew that thirty months ago.


"I have never seen a head so far up a Presidential ass (pardon my Falluja) than the one
  I saw last night at the "news conference" given by George W. Bush. He's still talking
  about finding "weapons of mass destruction" -- this time on Saddam's "turkey farm."
  Turkey indeed. Clearly the White House believes there are enough idiots in the 17
  swing states who will buy this. I think they are in for a rude awakening."
        --Michael Moore,  Attribution

 Bush's Tet
   saw it on  consortiumnews.com

  Click  Here

 The uprising - from the street-to-street fighting in the Sunni city of Fallujah to the running battles
 with Moktada al-Sadr's militia forces in Shiite strongholds in the south - means that the political side
 of the Iraq War is lost and that means the war itself is effectively lost. The only big questions left are
 how many more soldiers and civilians will die - and how many more angry young Islamic radicals
 will be driven into the arms of al-Qaeda.

 But the immediate question in Washington is whether the Bush administration and its legions of defenders
 will come to grips with this unpleasant reality on the ground. As in Vietnam, the temptation is to deny the
 reality and to continue the carnage rather than to make the hard decisions that would reverse course,
 save lives and minimize the strategic damage to the United States.

 Does anyone see a way out of the quagmire?
 Does Bush expect the Sunnis and Shittes to stop fighting and join up with the Great Satan?
 Bush still plans to serve this turkey on June 30, even if it's still frozen rock hard.

 If we turn over the reins to someone else - then what?
 Does that person or entity have to power to ask us to leave?

 If not, what's the purpose of the charade of handing over power?

 Subscribe today!

 From: Ann in Philly

 Subject: Rebuttal to yesterday's 'Gotta go'

 Bart, Wayne wrote,

< "I read or heard someone say 30 years ago 'If voting really made any difference
< it would be banned.' I never forgot the comment so it must have made an impression on me."

 My response: Yo, Wayne, voting does make a difference - that's why the BFEE stole Florida
 and is trying to rig the Diebold machines. If there was really no difference between Bush and Kerry
 (or Bush and Gore), why would these bastards be going to all that trouble?

 Sorry, Wayne, your logic is as fallacious as the rest of your arguments.

 BTW, I read both Counterpunch and From the Wilderness; Alexander Cockburn and Mike Rupert
 have some interesting material, but both fell hook, line, and sinker for the fable about Clinton running
 drugs from the Mena Airport in Arkansas, a myth that Gene Lyons and Joe Conason exploded
 thoroughly in "The Hunting of the President."

 Bart, if you take investment advice from this guy, you can kiss what's left of your retirement funds goodbye.
 Ann in Philly

An excerpt from  Show 35

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Click to Enter


"We just happened to watch the "press conference" on CBS, so Dan Rather
  comes on after with his assessment: "The President was steady and confident."
  Nice blowjob, Dan.
    --Dr. Menlo, Attribution

 Subject: Kerry is no good

 Kerry is already in bed with the Jewz, the CFR and he's a bones-men.
 A little home work would eliminate your inexplicable mule-headed wrong-headedness...


 Tom, those are fighting words, but I'm in currently a caffeine coma so I'll let you slide.
 I'm voting for Kerry because, as of today, he's the only man on the planet who has
 a chance to unseat the gone-crazy, never-elected Murderer in Chief.
 To suggest that choice is a naive one tells me one of us is crazy.

 Maybe your inexplicable mule-headed wrong-headedness prevented you from offering an alternative?
 Are you voting for Nader/Bush?

 We have a new address for advertisers - ads@bartcop.com

Got a business or a web site that needs more clicks?
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 The net's best advertising bargain!

 Make your deal today  before May 1, when convention prices take effect.


"Remember when Clinton was President? Remember what it was like when our nation was led
  by someone who could talk extemperaneously about the middle east, segue into nuclear proliferation,
  and then go off on central Asian politics and current events?  Thank you Jesus for anointing such an
  empty vessel as George W Bush, a man who can almost string a non-coherent sentence together based
  on half-retained talking points stuffed into his coke-addled cerebellum by Karl Rove. That 'news conference'
  was f-ing embarrassing. I swear I could feel my brain cells dying just watching it."
     --Posted by Michael,  http://liberalmediaconspiracy.blogspot.com/

Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
  April 1, 2004 - 600dead American soldiers.
April 16, 2004 - 689dead American soldiers.

That's  too  many.

That's 89 dead so far in April.
Things aren't getting better - they're getting worse.

Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of coffins


What about those 'lucky' enough to make it home?


 A Soldier's Sacrifice

  Click  Here

"Sergeant Hall's mother, Kim, who is 40, sat beside him during the interview. From time to time she rubbed
 salve on the burns that have disfigured both of her son's hands. The sergeant also has a burn across the bridge
 of his nose. The lower half of his face, which had to be reconstructed because both of his jaws were broken
 and 10 of his teeth were blown out and part of his palate was destroyed, looks surprisingly normal. The surgeons
 at Walter Reed Army hospital seem to have done a good job.

 Sergeant Hall also sustained a brain injury, but you can't tell that from talking to him. He's not just lucid - he's
 bright and funny. (He compared the negotiating process for his enlistment bonus to plea-bargaining.) But he tires
 easily. And he gets headaches.

 He also had three bones in his back broken, and his arm was broken, and he lost his left leg below the knee.
 This, of course, is what war does to people. It takes the human body and grinds it up like sausage meat.

 Thousands of men and women are in this condition - some are worse off.
 Thousands of families destroyed by the insatiable greed of the BFEE.

 A foolish consistency
   by Molly Ivins

  Click  Here

"Who are those dreadful critics? They're in the famous category of "some." Just like the RNC ad
  that says, "Some are attacking the president for attacking the terrorists." Oh, those awful "some."

 There are always moments of cognitive dissonance in listening to President Bush, when you realize
 that what he is saying simply does not accord with any known version of reality. By way of good news,
 he proudly bragged that "we" created the Department of Homeland Security -- that would be the
 department whose creation he opposed all those months. Also, he is looking forward to the report of the
 9-11 Commission -- that would be the same commission he so vigorously opposed for all those months."

Do you have an opinion?
Do any GOP impressions?

Call the

Then  listen for your call on...

You have two minutes to spit your bit.

 Pokerfest Palm Beach - Monday, April 26

 I know that sounds crazy, but I'll be damned if we let free airline tickets expire.
 We've never been to Florida, so we're going to fly in and spend a few days there,
 so the exact date is flexible, so let's shoot for Palm Beach that Monday evening.

 Click  Here  if you're in for cheap poker and please put 'poker' in the title, OK?


 They say there are three important factors in real estate: Location, location and location.
 Looks like that's true for poker, too.

 After trying for weeks to drum up a game in the northeast - and coming up dry, we received
 enough replies for two or more poker games in central Florida - in less than 24 hours.

 We'll do some planning.
 It might make more sense to have a game one night in Palm Beach and another game Wednesday
 in Key West or Tampa Bay. No sense in driving three hours to be told, "we're full."

 I need a local coordinator - any volunteers?
  Contact Bart - if you're a poker playing manager-type

 Subject: Why I subscribed

 I've finally jumped from daily free-reader to subscriber.
 Lots of reasons, here are a few:

 I NEED to hear something other than the nazi propaganda that's polluting our airwaves now.
 I am a lifelong beleiver that the rights we have in the pre-Bush USA are sacred.

 I am a police officer and share an office with three neo-cons (aka neo-nazis) that insist in blaring
 Oxy-pigboy retoric. I've recently taken to counter-nazi tactics such as leaving my computer on
 with Air America blaring so the TRUTH can be heard.

 My sons turn draft-age right after the election. Before this ugliness, I was telling them to consider
 the military (reserve, national guard or regular duty) not now. If this idiot obtains reappointment,
 they'll be cannon fodder for a personal vendetta. How many enlistments do you think this has cost the country?

 Please keep up the fight. We need you and so do my sons and the sons that Americans have lost
 and will lose in the future if this lie keeps marching on.

 Protecting and serving,

Garry Trudeau offers $10K to anyone
who saw Bush show up in the ANG

Click for reward details

I guess Garry's on vacation.

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 It had  everything.

 Copyright © 2004, bartcop.com

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 If your GOP workplace doesn't want you to see the truth, use these mirrors.

This is the central scrutinizer...
 BCR Show 35 was Bart's first confrontation with
Homeland Security. Naturally, we were easy on him.
One of our friendly counselors gave him
a do-nut...and told him to stick closer
to church-oriented social activities.


   Shirley Manson of the rock group "Garbage."

 Shrl, call  The BartPhone, just to say "Hi!"
 Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!

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 That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Joint on your next American tour.

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