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  In Today's Treehouse...
Bremer gets tough in Iraq 
Earn trillions, pay no taxes
Frist wants a piece of Daschle
D-r-i-v-e   b-y   N-e-w-
Spain pulling troops out
They hate Powell in the WH
Clinton warned Bush of OBL 
How to gag on 'The Passion' 
PF Palm Beach 1 week away 


Quote of the Day

"Going into this period, I was praying for strength 
  to do the Lord's will. . . . I'm surely not going to 
  justify war based upon God.   Nevertheless, 
  in my case I pray that I be as good a messenger 
  of His will as possible.  Attribution
   --Monkey-president, blaming God for his screwups 
      in the coming soon Show 36 of BartCop Radio

 Is that why Bush thinks he's never made a mistake?
 because he's just God's tool, and God's never wrong?

"His will be done..."

Bart Store

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Volume 1297 - Led-filled snow shoes

  Sat-Mon   April  17-19, 2004


"I am prepared to risk my presidency to do what I think is right. I was going to act.
  And if it could cost the presidency, I fully realized that. But I felt so strongly that
  the billions we've made off this war was worth it, so I was prepared to do so."
     --Dubya, to Bob Woodward,  Attribution

 Bremer: Iraq Rebels 'Must Be Dealt With' 

"We will kill them in the name of peace..."

  Click  Here

 On Sunday, Bush's puppet Paul Bremer insisted that the threat of insurgents who
 want to "shoot their way to power" must be stopped. He said Iraqi security forces
 were not up to the job and defended the continued heavy presence of U.S. troops
 even after an Iraqi government takes over June 30.

 The Army, meanwhile, said it was in no hurry to take the southern city of Najaf from
 Shiite followers of radical cleric Muqtada al-Sadr. The Army was beginning to rotate
 2,500 soldiers from their position outside Najaf, replacing them with 2,000 seasoned
 troops from the force that has been occupying Baghdad for nearly a year.

 So, Bremer says people who try to "shoot their way to power" are destined to fail?
 I'm still trying to figure out how you invade a tiny, backward nation and then ask another
 member of the "axis of evil" to negotiate your way out of a ceasefire with your victim.

 Knowing the stumbling, bumble-Monkey, he's managed to arrange a pact between Iraq and Iran.
 This way, they can team up to kill another 700 American soldiers and drive us out of Iraq.
 With Bush's legendary stupidity running the show, instead of burying the ghost of Vietnam,
 it will rise from the dead in some whacked-out Shiite "tribute" to Easter - it all fits.

  Care to comment?   Now with working link!


"I'm surprised that he is surprised because there was a lot of us who were telling him that it was
  going to be thus. Anyone could know the problems they were going to see. How could they not?
  I think that some heads should roll over Iraq. I think the president got some bad advice."
      --Retired Marine Gen. Anthony Zinni,  Attribution

 How about we roll the Greed Monkey, instead and get a real president?

 How to earn $3.5 trillion and pay zero taxes

  Click  Here

 The April 2 release of a General Accounting Office report on corporate taxes could hardly
 have been better timed to get press attention. Just as millions of Americans were filling out
 their federal 2003 tax forms to beat the April 15 deadline, the GAO study indicated that
 most corporations owed no taxes from 1996 to 2000, a boom period for corporate profits.

 Those untaxed corporations earnedreported$3.5 trillion of revenues.

 Just remember that when the Bumble-Monkey says he wants to cut taxes,
 that's a tax increase for you and me, while the Kennyboys and Tyco guys
 get to steal hundreds of millions of tax-free dollars to help Bush win the election.

 Most Republicans are so stupid that they are voting against their pocketbook.
 It's so strange to hear a mook like Vic the Racost say, "It's not fair that the super-rich
 have to pay a higher percentage of taxes than people like you and me, Bart."

 What the hell can you put in a man's Kool Aid to make him want to ease the
 tax burden of people like Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Bill Gates?

  Care to comment?   Now with working link!


Get your 'No Monkey Zone"
mousepads, coffee mugs and shirts


"Why was President Bush, as both Richard Clarke and Paul O'Neill have testified, so obsessed with Iraq?
  I do not think it is for petty reasons. Mr Bush very likely buys into the neo-conservative fantasy that the
  victory of democracy in Iraq will democratize the entire Islamic world and establish his own place in history.
"A free Iraq," as President Bush said yesterday, "will stand as an example to reformers across the Middle East."
 Other reasons - oil, Israel, the search for military bases in place of Saudi Arabia, liberation of Iraq from a
 monstrous tyrant - are secondary compared to the historic mission for which the Almighty has chosen him."
     --Arthur Schlesinger,    Attribution

 Or, it could be the hundreds of millions of dollars the BFEE is making every month that will continue
 to flood them for generations after they finally toss a spent and devastated country back to the Democrats.

 Subject: O'Franken


 I think you will agree that the O'Franken Factor is an O'Disaster Result.

 I think Al Franekn is smart, funny and entertaining and he might even have less time
 behind a radio microphone than I do. Of course, if you don't like him, I understand your bias...

 I find Al Franken funny because he has become humorless.  He keeps firing blanks.

 Blanks? ...as in why you're worried that he's catching on?

 Then on top of everything the show gets yanked off the air in two markets because the bills weren't paid!

 That's one guy's side of it, but that means there's another side you seem unwilling to consider.

 And, it is revealed there is no network at all.  They are just buying time on a few radio stations.

 ha ha
 Pigboy doesn't have 600 stations, either.
 What are you, crazy or something?
 Can you say, "syn-di-ca-tion?"

 I get Ed Schultz and he is ten times as funny as the morose Al Franken.
 Do you think AirAmerica will last until November?  Will Al Franken get fired?
 Mark Jackson

 I don't dislike Ed, I dislike the fact that XMRadio took off half of Randi Rhodes,
 the best lefty radio person I've ever heard, and replaced her with less-than Ed.

  Care to comment?   Now with working link!

 Frist wants a piece of Daschle 
  Civil on the senate floor, Frist goes "all in" to screw Bush's appeaser

  Click  Here

 The Senate historian's office cannot recall another time, at least in the last half century,
 when one Senate leader went to the home state of another to campaign against him.
 One reason is that it has been a long time since a Senate leader of either party was
 engaged in anywhere near as close a contest as Daschle faces in heavily Republican
 South Dakota. Another is that the across-the-aisle comity that used to characterize the
 Senate is breaking down, especially given the high stakes involved in this November's elections.

 Too bad Dashle doesn't know anything about politics.
 After leading the senate in never-ending tributes to the never-elected fraud, Dashle is getting
 t-boned by the very enemy he's been helping - and that should be a lesson to other Democrats.
 When you play with the scorpions, expect to get stung.

  Care to comment?   Now with working link!


 Subject: to that guy who said I'm "whiny"

"Whiny-ass wimps?"

 I'm going to say this *real slow* so even you inbreds with the wide-set eyes
 living in interior parts of the country can understand it. So that you people
 whose brother is also your uncle, even you can understand it.

 ha ha

 Should I keep going like that?
 If you don't like those "jokes" then that makes you a "whiny-ass wimp", right?
 We are all tougher than that, right?

 Wait, you were joking?
 I thought you had your finger on the pulse of Oklahoma.

 Depicting Rice in racist terms insults an entire race, not just Rice.
 Do I have to say it again?

 Zac, repeating it doesn't make your opinion more valid.
 It just means your opinion is different than mine.
 If I said "Shirley Manson is the greatest performer of all time, ...do I have to say it again?"
 you're free to disagree, but it doesn't have to mean one of us is crazy.

 Would you depict Richard Perle in a shylock outfit, drinking Christian blood?
 Why not? Isn't that just "making fun?"

 By your comment, I'm guessing that Perle is Jewish - I didn't know that, but if Perle was the hottest
 story not only in politics but across the entire news spectrum and Fark.com ran a hundred funny pictures
 of him, I'd print a dozen but that would be for the comedy.  It would not mean that I hate Jews.

 Important long-term Sidebar:
 Please don't assume every word/graphic/link on this page is an issue I'm willing to die for.
 This page is a mix of silly nonsense and "Our boys are dying in Iraq" deadly seriousness.
 The mix, I think, makes the page more than a personal blog, but less than Buzzflash.com.

 Zac, you're a subscriber - be sure to listen to upcoming Show 36.
 Tarantino was on Stern and Howard brought up that Spike Lee was asking why QT *has*  to use the word
 "nigger" so often in the films he writes.  His answer was the same answer I've given people for years, but since
 he's a talented writer he says it much better than I do.

 Here is kinda what he said:
"Either you think, in your heart of hearts, that I'm a racist who hates back people, which is Issue One,


 you're with Issue Two, which is your attempt to put a yoke around my neck, telling a film writer what
 his particular characters are allowed to say and I refuse to grant you that much power because
 (in Tarantino's words) I can produce a film without Spike Lee."

 Assuming QT has a point, (you're not bound to accept that) either you think, in your heart of hearts, that I'm
 a black-hating racist OR you're asking for editorial control over my webpage and I can't give you that.

 Am I now a monkey, because I think the depiction of Rice with those neck-rings is racist?

 No, I think it means good people sometimes disagree on what's funny.

 Maybe it's you who doesn't get it.

 That's always a possibility...


  Care to comment?   Now with working link!

 We Didn't Dare Wait
  William Raspberry, a big Rush fan, explains Bush's options

  Click  Here

 Smokers Risk Frostbite, Study Finds
  Nanook, put that butt out!

  Click  Here

 'Kill Bill' Slays Box-Office Competition
  Bloody bride-to-be leads revenge weekend

  Click  Here

 Bush Unveils Specifics of Returning Control to Iraqis
  It's so simple, I'll bet Bush thought of this himself

  Click  Here

 McDonald's CEO Dies of Heart Attack
  Eddie, what's in that secret sauce?

  Click  Here

Click for more

 Spanish Leader Pulling Troops From Iraq
  New kid in town says "No" to Bush boy's bloody hobby

  Click  Here

 Spain's withdrawal of its troops from Iraq should not harm its longterm relations with
 the United States, the new foreign minister said in remarks published Monday, adding
 that his country will remain steadfast in the fight against terrorism.

 Good call.
 Fight terrorism? Yes.
 Help the insane American bully rape his neighbors for no reason? No.

 Subject: cannot access BCR Show 35 Pts 2,3 and 4


 I cannot download parts 2-4 of show 35.
 My web browser says there is nothing there.
 I did get part 1.



 I've gotten this from 3-4 members, which means dozens are getting it OK.
 I can listen to OR download all four sections, so I'm clueless as to why some people are having trouble.

 The second I hit 'download' on Pts 2, 3 and 4, each file downloads in about 5 seconds.
 If you can get 1,  I don't understand why you can't get 2.

 When you mouse over it - are the links identical, except for the Part Number?
 You ARE trying to DL the file, not just listen, right?

 Maybe a tech guy will see this and write in with a suggestion.

 The first few minutes the file was online, the link was members/members/35-2.m3u
 so maybe a 'refresh' or 'empty cache' would fix that.
 Your browser might be remembering the first link it saw.

 Be sure to check what it says when you mouse over it.

 Lemme know, write to sam@bartcop.com
 We'll get this fixed,


  Care to comment?   Now with working link!

 Powell's portrayal in book sharpens WH divisions
  Once Bush's favborite boy, Colin's no longer

  Click  Here

 Colin Powell's apparent decision to lay out his misgivings about the Iraq war
 to "journalist" Bob Woodward has jolted the White House and aggravated
 long-festering tensions in the Bush cabinet, it was reported.

 One, who like others declined to be identified because of the political sensitivity
 of their criticism, accused Powell of having a habit of distancing himself from
 policies when they go wrong, The Times said.   "It's such a soap opera with him,"
 the report quoted that official as saying.

 Colin is ashamed of himself, and can you guess why?  Because he knows he lied
 about WMDs in Iraq, and because we know he lied about WMDs in Iraq,
 and because he knows we know he knows he lied about WMDs in Iraq.

 Colin, you once had a great reputation. You were once courted by both parties.
 The Democrats wanted you because your military experience would help to offset
 the Mississippi-wide yellow streak the Democrats have running down their backs.
 The Republicans wanted you in their all-white party of rich polluters so they could say,
"See? We don't hate all porch monkeys. We hired one, didn't we?

 After 35 years in the army, and  serving your country with distinction, you got greedy
 and the let BFEE use your credibility to help justify this on-your-conscience-forever war,
 and now you can't sleep at night because you finally realized what a whore you've become.

 How does it feel?

 You're a whore Colin, now let me hear you say it!
 C'mon Colin, it's time to admit it.

 C'mon Colin, you can't get thru this until you admit it to yourself, so say it with me...
 "I ...am ...a ...whore," c'mon Colin...

 Hey Colin, guess what?
 You're negro non grata at the White House from now on.
 You're about to be hung from the tallest tree the BFEE hate machine can find and Bush's friends
 in the media are preparing to slap the ass of that horse you're sitting on - so take a deep breath.

  Care to comment?   Now with working link!

 Subject: Bob Woodward on 60 Minutes

 So Dubya goes to war because god told him to.
 There's a woman down in Texas who bashed in her kid's skulls for the same reason.

 In the end, Religion will kill us all....

 H.E.R.B. - Had Enough Religious Bulls**t?

 Ed, I couldn't have said that better myself.



"I've been called a traitor and a turncoat for mentioning these things.
  We're betting on the U.N., who we blew off and ridiculed during the run-up to the war.
  Now we're back with hat in hand. It would be funny if not for the lives lost."
     -- Gen. Anthony Zinni, sounding like he reads  bartcop.com  Attribution

 Clinton warned Bush about bin Laden
  But the BFEE was too busy with Iraq to give a rat's ass

  Click  Here

 Bill Clinton told the 9-11 commission that he warned Bush after the 2000
 election that Osama bin Laden would be his top national-security threat,
 Time magazine said, citing unidentified sources close to the panel.

 Clinton testified before the independent panel on April 8 in a private, unrecorded session.
 The commission plans to ask Bush about the conversation when he and Cheney meet
 with its members in a similar closed setting, Time said.

 "Unka Dick, are we gonna get in trouble?
  Did the bad man warn us about Osama like he said?
 And did you decide about us holding hands?"

  Care to comment?   Now with working link!

 Subject: Vietnam II


 The parallels are eerie:
 1. Misguided Nation Building.
 2. Puppet governments.
 3. Poor and minorities fighting the war.
 4. No exit strategy
 5. Congress abdicates their responsibility. (Gulf of Tonkin)
 6. Lying politicians.
 7. People hate us.
 8. Corporations profiteering.

 God help us,

 I'm so old, I remember the "Powell Doctrine."
 That's when you don't invade another country unless:

 1. Your mission is as clear as Lake Concha
 2. You go in with double the overwhelming force needed
 3. You have a clear exit strategery

 Why bother having Colin Powell as Sec of State if you're going to ignore him?

 So you can say "I have a darkie in my cabinet."

  Care to comment?   Now with working link!

Marty's Entertainment Page


"Americans knew George W. Bush was incurious man when they elected him,
  but the 9-11 hearings, which turned from the F.B.I.'s fecklessness to the C.I.A.'s
  blurred vision, have brought that fact home in a startling way."
     --from the New York Whore Times who lied like crazy to get the Monster elected  Attribution

 The NY Whore Times has been gunning for Democrats for over ten years.
 They single-handedly revived the over-and-done-with Whitewater mess, just to screw Clinton.
 They ran the "Clinton fathers crack baby?" story on the front page above the fold.

 During impeachment they let Rush and Drudge set their headlines each and every day.
 In the 200o campaign, they refried every fabricated "Love Story" lie, and embellished every
"I invented the internet" lie, and magnified every, " I was the one who first discovered Love Canal,"
 piece of crap they could think of, and let's not talk about Bush's "great" debate performances.

 And it really pisses me off the hear the braying Nazi's whine about how "liberal" the the NYWTimes is,
 and how "in the pocket of the Democrats" is, and it makes me want to ralph nader.

 The news business has drifted from "news" into all "business."
 Whores work for money, not for pride in a job well done.


"The term "incuriosity' has rocketed to the top of the Global Language Monitor's PQ
 (Political-sensitivity Quotient) Index, which is an algorithm that tracks politically sensitive
  words and phrases in the media and on the Internet. "Incuriosity" is followed by "Quagmire,"
"Two Americas," "Global Outsourcing" and 'War for Oil" on the Global Monitor list of most
  popular current political phrases."
      --founder of the Global Language Monitor, Attribution

 How To Gag On 'The Passion'
  Nine ways this snuff film mocks the Christian religion

  Click  Here

 1) It lasted more than a full half hour, the central beating scene, wherein a squad of monosyllabic demon Romans
  chain Jesus to a stone and feverishly flay him to oozing pulp on one side, then casually flip him over like a veal cutlet
  and thrash the other side until he is nothing but a puddle of dripping stage blood and flappy flesh and cavernous moans.

 You catch glimpses of this revolting cartoonishness through barely parted fingers and you think, goddammit, there goes
  half an hour of my vital life force that I will require much sex and vodka and Buddhism to recover. And you realize,
 with a sort of perfect and holy divine clarity, that Mel Gibson is utterly, thoroughly insane.

 Wow, when this finally comes to TV, I'll tape it so I can fast forward thru the long, bloody parts.
 ...or is that the whole movie?

  Care to comment?   Now with working link!

An excerpt from  Show 35

  Click  Here for a quick taste

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    Click Here   to send your review of Show 35


"You see these weird white guys getting overly patriotic, and they have their f-kin' flag hats on,
  and their flag drawers, and their flag pickups. 'I'm American, man! I'm American! F all these f-kin' foreigners!'
  There was a lot of accepted racism when the war started. 'I'm American, man! I'm American! F the French!'
  That was cool. Then 'I'm American, man! I'm American! F all these Arabs!' And that was cool.
  Then they went to: 'I'm American! I'm American! F all these illegal aliens!' Then I started listening,
  because I know that niggas and Jews is next."
    -- Chris Rock on 9-11, from his new HBO special Attribution


Click to Enter


 Subject: Arianna?


 Big fan.  Loved the Bush beatdown.
 But you cannot be serious about this Arianna Nader-Huffington.

 Did you bump your head?
 Is there a gas leak in the treehouse?

 She is an opportunistic whore, sleeping with one side and hand-jobbing the other.
 Follow the money.  How many times can one be forgiven for anti-democratic relapses?
 You may as well give Bob "firm grasp of the issues" Schieffer a pardon.

 Other than this bullshit, you are doing an excellent job.
 We are, after all, professionals....

 Best wishes,

 Brian, I understand, but she's very much anti-Bush and we need that right now.

  Care to comment?   Now with working link!

 We have a new address for advertisers - ads@bartcop.com

Got a business or a web site that needs more clicks?
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 Eldrick Woods Finishes Training at Fort Bragg

  Click  Here

 On Monday, after finishing 22nd at the Masters, Tiger Woods flew by private jet to
 Pope Air Force Base, was issued a uniform, received briefings on the installation and
 attended several social functions on the post, Bragg spokesman Lt. Col. Bill Buckner said.

 By Tuesday morning, Woods was in uniform for three days of training.  Reporters were barred
 from covering the training sessions after Woods said he wanted the experience to be a private one.

 Damn, I would've paid to see that.

Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
  April 1, 2004 - 600dead American soldiers.
April 19, 2004 - 702dead American soldiers.

That's 102 dead brave soldiers so far just this month.
Things aren't getting better - they're getting worse.

Plus, 60 Minutes said we have 20,000 medical evacuees from Iraq.
Is that 20,000 men with missing arms and legs?

Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of coffins

From S. Good: So when will the media stop blowing Bush
and start showing the pictures of the coffins
on CNN/ABC/NBC/CBS so that this madness can be stopped?
When are those so-called "Democrats" going to do something?
I mean really do something other than the occasional sound bite for the camera.
When we hit 1,000 dead? 2,000?  5,000?
If they don't, we will see those numbers.


What about those 'lucky' enough to make it home?

 Rove Rues 'Mission Accomplished' Banner

  "I am Unka Karl's performing Monkey"

  Click  Here

 Bush's top political adviser said this week he regretted the use of a "Mission Accomplished"
 banner as a backdrop for the president's landing on an aircraft carrier last May to mark the
 end of major combat operations in Iraq.

"I wish the banner was not up there," said Karl Rove.
"I'll acknowledge the fact that it has become one of those convenient symbols.

...but in typical BFEE style, he won't admit it was his idea.  He regrets it being there,
 but refuses to take resposibility for giving the Democrats another shipwreck to point to.

  Care to comment?   Now with working link!

Do you have an opinion?
Do any GOP impressions?

Call the

Then  listen for your call on...

You have two minutes to spit your bit.

 Pokerfest Palm Beach - Monday, April 26

 I know that sounds crazy, but I'll be damned if we let free airline tickets expire.
 We've never been to Florida, so we're going to fly in and spend a few days there,
 so the exact date is flexible, so let's shoot for Palm Beach, the evening of  Monday the 26th.

 Click  Here  if you're in for cheap poker and please put 'poker' in the title, OK?


 I need a local coordinator - any volunteers?
 Time is running out...the game's a week from tonight.

  Contact Bart - if you're a poker playing manager-type near Palm Beach

 (I thought one guy said he had poker chips & stuff, but I can't find his e-mail)


 Subject: Bush's mistakes

 You'd think the fool would remember prancing around on that carrier
 and maybe thinking, "Maybe I shouldn't have done that"

 Jesus Christ, that was one of the easy ones, that should have penetrated his coke addled brain.

 Merl, don't blame Bush.
 He doesn't know any better.
 He's just doing what Unka Dick and Karl Rove tell him to do.

 In the next  bartcop.com

 My reunion with Susan McDougal

 In the next  BCR

 Snippets of her speech, Tarantino on Stern, Woody on 60 Minutes and more

Garry Trudeau offers $10K to anyone
who saw Bush show up in the ANG

Click for reward details

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 Read the Previous Issue

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 Copyright © 2004, bartcop.com

Show 35  is here.

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 If your GOP workplace doesn't want you to see the truth, use these mirrors.

This is the central scrutinizer...
 BCR Show 35 was Bart's first confrontation with
Homeland Security. Naturally, we were easy on him.
One of our friendly counselors gave him
a do-nut...and told him to stick closer
to church-oriented social activities.


   Shirley Manson of the rock group "Garbage."

 Shrl, call  The BartPhone, just to say "Hi!"
 Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!

 You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-748-1714
 That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Joint on your next American tour.

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