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Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Quote of the Day
"It's kind of pitiful, after four years, to
"We don't need more bureaucracy. We need more
analysts, we need more
Arabic-speaking analysts, and we need a lot more human intelligence."
--Tom Ridge, baby-killing member of the BFEE Attribution
But Tom, you fired seven of your best Arabic-speaking translators
suspected they were gay, prtoving you'd rather make the "Christian" base happy\
than catch bin Laden or win this war so blow me, you liar.
9/11 commission: All guilty but the man in charge
"What we can say with confidence is that none of the measures adopted by the US government
from 1998 to 2001 disturbed or even delayed the progress of the al-Qaeda plot," an executive summary said.
That's a meaningless handjob sentence written to protect Bush.
"Across the government, there were failures of
imagination, policy, capabilities and management," it said.
Everywhere but the White House, because Bush is God.
The commission, which interviewed thousands
of witnesses and examined mountains of documents,
horseshit, horseshit, horseshit. If you were serious about getting to the truth, you would've put Bush
and Cheney under oath at the same time in different rooms and asked them what the hell happened.
But this was always a handjob, dog & pony show from the time Bush appointed Kissinger to decide
what the meaning of "truth" is.
said "we do not believe leaders understood
the gravity of the threat" before September 11, 2001,
discounting Clinton's telling Bush "Al Qaeda is your biggest problem," which Bush shrugged off.
but did not single out the administrations of either Bush on whose watch the attacks occured or Clinton
whose hard work and vigiliance stopped several Al Qaeda attacks.
The Republicans and Lee Hamilton (D-Whitewash)
came thru for Bush and AGAIN,
he won't be held responsible for anything that happened while he was "in charge."
"Unka Lee is worth every dollar we pay him..."
"John Kerry is a good friend and a decent man.
He has a lifelong commitment of honorable
service to our nation as a soldier and as a Senator. He can be trusted with power. He will help
heal America. He has outstanding intellectual gifts he will bring to the White House and to
world affairs. I am proud to stand here to say I will do everything possible to make John Kerry
the next President of the United States."
--Dennis Kucinich, endorsing John Kerry, Attribution
'Fahrenheit 9/11' Making GOP Nervous
Republicans initially dismissed "Fahrenheit 9/11" as a cinematic screed that would
play mostly to inveterate Bush bashers. Four weeks and $94 million later, the film
is still pulling in moviegoers at 2,000 theaters around the country, making Republicans
nervous as it settles into the American mainstream.
"If you are a naive, uncommitted voter and
wander into a theater, you aren't going to
come away with a good impression of the president," GOP hack Joe Gaylord said.
"It's a problem only if a lot of people see it." .
Guess what, Dude - it's a problem.
Moore's film could break $100M this weekend.
Who's ready for the sequel?
Subject: It wasn't Gone with the Wind
I didn't see the March to War like it was Gone With The Wind. I saw it more like the War Song in Duck Soup.
Bush was Groucho, and Condosleeza was Harpo
cutting the plumes off the troops' helmets as the entire GOP
stood around singing "Freedonia's gone to war, each nation's son must grab a gun and run away to war."
But they're going to leave it to Kerry to
get on the phone, tell them there are three men and one woman trapped in
building, and ask them to send help (and if they can't send help, send two more women--wait, make that three more women).
Read my Fair and Balanced Rants at http://www.verybigdesign.com/jmowreader
Visit http://www.marylandwatermen.com/classified.htm for all your crab boat needs!
Subject: Bush's war in Iraq
Bush's lies have killed far more than the
900 Americans in the "coalition of the willing."
(to send their citizens to their deaths for cheaper oil) There are 1024 dead on "our side"
as of July 22. And the wounded total is about 6,000.
The number of dead or wounded non-combatants?
It's in the tens of thousands.
Bart, I think that non-combatant dead and wounded estimates should be printed too.
Let's see some of these numbers on bartcop.com more often.
Go man go,
Jonathan, you didn't say where you got your
When you say "1024 dead on our side," are you counting civilians?
Bush is hiding those numbers - do you have access to them?
As far as the wounded, I think 60
Minutes said there were 23,000 "medical evacuees,"
so that wounded number could be approaching 30,000 before too long.
I'll print numbers from any reputable source or the Pentagon.
George in Love
Who's the real sissy on the campaign trail?
The 9/11 commission, in its final report this week, says there may have been a collaborative relationship
between al Qaeda and Iran, and the commission's co-chair, Thomas Keene, says that the connections
between bin Laden's terrorist group and Iranian and Pakistani officials are much more evident than any
imagined connection to Saddam Hussein. Reports surfaced over last weekend that several of the 9/11
hijackers got through both Iran and Saudi Arabia en route from the terror camps in Afghanistan without
having their passports stamped. Funny how the response of the Bush administration wasn't to crack down
on Saudi Arabia, but rather to go after Saddam in oil-rich Iraq, where the Bushies and the Saudis could
coincidentally expand their joint business interests. I guess that's how love works. Isn't the nuzzling and
caressing between Bush and Bandar a lot more dangerous than any supposed political strategy of warm
feelings and physical contact on the part of Kerry and Edwards?
One would think the GOP would be upset with Bush for telling a
foreigner, Prince Bardar, about
his plans to invade another country before he told his Secretary of State, Colin Powell.
My Election, Please
How far will they go to win?
Do you feel it? Can you smell it in the air? The sensation that the Republican Party, though various tentacles,
will stop at absolutely nothing to maintain power in the White House? It's true. It's the feeling that, during the
next few months, it's all about to get very shrill, and very surreal, indeed.
How about another "imminent" terrorist threat?
Pretty much a given, really. Followed, of course, by another.
And then another. And then another and another until every other day the newscast features a thick-necked,
panicky Tom Ridge saying yes, oh my God yes, we now have definitive proof that terrorists are more or less sort
of maybe planning to strike the U.S. maybe very soon and disrupt our shopping and screw with our TV reception
and blot out the sun. We just don't know, you know, where, or when, or how, or what the hell to do about it.
P.S.: Vote Republican.
Subject: Hastert has an opponent: Zamora!
I thought "Bartcoppians" would appreciate
learning that I am opposing Dennis Hastert.
Please check out my wesite: www.zamoraforcongress.org
I can always use information, support, and
contributors. Can you help?
Ruben K. Zamora
Progressive Candidate (D)
14th Congressional District
U.S. House of Representatives
PO Box 1003
Montgomery, IL 60538
Jenna Bush - just like her Daddy.
Crude, drunk, ...no manners.
saw it on liberaltimes.com
At least Jenna's behavior is better than it used to be...
Marty's Entertainment Page
keep your ears open-
huge unverified rising number on that big red figure at the bottom of your page.
I hope to the invisible cloud being that my sources are wrong, or mistaken.
Yahoo headline says our boys are attacking Fallujah today.
How long before that 900 turns into 1000?
Running against Delay's boy - Hastert, the sweaty wrestler
Click for details
"I agree with their conclusion that the terrorists
were able to exploit deep
institutional failings in our nation's defenses that developed over more than
a decade. The commission's recommendations are consistent with the strategy
my administration is following to address these failings and to win the war on terror."
-- Dubya, blaming Clinton for his Aug-Sept Crawford vacation in 2001 Attribution
Subject: ingredients for an October Surprise
A terrorist attack by the Iranians, October 19th or so.
Advantages to the Bush Administration:
- no need for an election
- poll numbers soaring
- CIA can prove themselves again, by killing our own citizens and framing some darkies
- With the go-ahead to invade Iran, the U.S. will control a broad swath of the Middle East, Iraq-Iran-Afghanistan
And for extra credit-
- Israel will invade Syria, which will give us a strip from the Mediterannean to the Indian Ocean.
Flight 93 Crashed Without Struggle
Bush's boys say they never made it into the cockpit
buying 'Passion' DVD in bulk
Richard Mellon Scaife does the same thing with Ann Coulter books
Reports New Allegations of Abuse
...and Bush said it was just a few bad apples
Panel Is Right, Nation Is Safer
...but we'll cancel the election due to terrorism
Head Discovery in Iraq
Second Bulgarian hostage has been killed?
"Welcome to Wal-Mart, sir or madam.
My name is George - may I insist you?"
Latino Voters Rejecting Bush
Latino voters who were surveyed were sharply critical of the war in Iraq.
63 percent said the war was not worth fighting, a view shared by slightly more
than half of all voters nationally. Fewer than a third of all Latinos and fewer than
half of all voters believe the war justified its costs.
Latinos also are more pessimistic about
the war on terrorism than the overall population is,
with 37 percent saying the United States is winning and 40 percent saying it is losing.
"I'm too smart for the beaner vote..."
Celebrities declare own war - on Bush
Bush-bashing is turning into an en vogue celebrity sport
Whoopi Goldberg delivered several
puns on Bush's name
Ozzy sang War Pigs while projecting an image of Bush and Hitler (Go Ozzy!)
Jadakiss sings: "Why did Bush knock down the towers?"
Linda Ronstadt's fantastic career move - when was the last time you even heard her name?
Subject: Nader put on Michigan ballot by GOP
The other day some guy asks me to sign a
petition to put Ralph Nader on the ballot in Michigan.
I told him "I'd rather not." and walked away, and he fumed about it.
Two days later, the headline on the local
paper tells the story of the GOP in Michigan getting the 30,000
signatures needed. The Naderites are all saying "Gee! Why would the GOP do that?" and the rest of us
are all rolling our eyes. If this isn't proof that a vote for Nader is a vote for Bush, I don't know what is!
How can any Nader supporter defend that?
Does Nader see this?
Wilder K. W
Clearly, Nader wants Bush to destroy America for another four years.
From: Matt 2Wall
Subject: Pokerfest Feedback
(I asked people to write a report)
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not accurate, Ronstadt says
You mean the press got it wrong? Go figure...
The Los Angeles Times and AP said she was escorted off the property, not allowed to return
to her room and booed off the stage and that people were throwing drinks by the close of her show.
None of those things happened, she said.
"The American media has been completely hijacked
by corporate interests.
The news is so biased, and we've got to get it through any way that we can," she said.
"I'll damn well say what I please, as I always
have," she says. "And if they cancel my show,
they'll just be doing me a favor. They'll still have to pay me, and I could use a day off."
It's says the owners of the Hard Rock plan to buy the Nazi Aladdin on Sept 1.
The Las Vegas Review says The Aladdin botched this mess from the start.
Ronstadt's show consists of show tunes and general pop songs, but The Aladdin billed
her concert as a "Greatest Hits" concert, so people expected to hear a lot of Ronstadt
songs from the past. When that failed to happen, people got antsy and trouble ensued.
The Aladdin needs to learn that lying can get you bad press.
Play Poker online with Bart
Flight 93 Crashed Without Struggle
We have Lee Hamilton's word on that?
Passengers aboard United Airlines Flight 93 fought back against the hijackers
but never actually made it into the cockpit, the Sept. 11 commission concluded.
Stern Loses $12M from Clear Channel Blacklisting
When Clear Channel cancelled Stern in late February, the unexpired terms of the radio deals
called for him to receive future payouts of at least $12 million. Below you'll find the five-year,
$4.5 million deal Stern signed in February 2002 to broadcast his show in San Diego. The other
Stern/Clear Channel deals covered Pittsburgh ($3.91 million); Orlando ($3.87 million); Miami
($3.35 million); Louisville ($2.2 million); and Rochester ($1.68 million). Claiming breach of contract,
Stern sued CC in June. CC countersued yesterday, accusing Stern of the same thing.
So Stern has at least $12M worth of grudges to throw at the never-elected fascists - that's good.
is very different from anything you've ever heard before.
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Subject: What happened to you?
What happened to your web site? It
is awful lately.
You are missing so many issues and you are so repetitive I don't read it all the way through.
I just skip over most stuff and usually
spend 5 minutes or less on it.
How did you ever let it get so awful?
At one time you had a razor wit, but you are dull scabbard now.
Your one-handed Stalker
I can not believe how lousy your webstie
has become since you started farting around with radio.
You are boring. You suck. You stink. You repeat yourself. Is that what is called brainwashing?
Spaced repetition to pound in the message from the DNC. That sucks!
You are just a shil for the socialists in
You want us to be sheep who follow the sheepherders without a question.
I don't think your IQ is 64. You are not that smart.
You've been duped by Terry McAwful and John Kerry.
Your one-handed stalker using a different
Stalker, if I sent you a poster of Brad Pitt or George Clooney, would you masturbate to them, instead?
"Fahrenheit 9/11 has further rallied celebrities,
who aren't deep intellectual thinkers,"
-- presidential scholar Doug Brinkley of the Eisenhower Center
and author of Tour of Duty: John Kerry and the Vietnam War.
Hey asshole, I'm no "deep intellectual thinker," but you couldn't
last 15 minutes
with me in a debate over how we got involved in this senseless and bloody war.
And who are the "deep thinkers" who like this war - Britney Spears?
One of the biggest
laugh lines in F 9/11 is Spears declaring, "I think we should all just trust the president..."
Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
905 dead American soldiers.
Drip, drip, drip - young lives go down the drain
"I don't hear Bush and Cheney saying (Fahrenheit
9/11) is incorrect."
-- retired teacher Lavone Mann coming out of the theater Attribution
Police Seal Building Housing Kerry Campaign
Police sealed off the office building that houses Kerry's campaign HQ on Thursday
after finding a suspicious letter, authorities said.
An e-mail distributed to Kerry staff said:
"There is a suspicious package found on one
of the floors of the building. Emergency services, fire, police and hazmat are on site.
Please be advised if you leave, you will not be allowed to re-enter until authorities
have given the all clear." .
I'm certain the special ops team from the Pentagon didn't
photograph any documents
when they "inspected" Kerry's campaign headquarters. Darn those "suspicious" letters.
I'm certain Mr. Rove didn't mail them to Kerry so they could get in there...
wary of loud affirmations of faith
"God told me to murder Baghdad..."
"Some folks are so enamored with Bush that they nearly swoon when he says he is a Christian.
Bush is wearing his "Christian" uniform to fool the faithful into believing he is a man of God, when he's nothing of the kind.
I'm surprised that anyone believes Bush's
claims of religiosity. Imagine if you will, that Satan comes to visit us.
Do you think he would appear in the famous red jammies with horns and pointy tail, or as the multi-headed beast
described in Dante's Inferno? Or would he arrive camouflaged in the attire of a failed businessman, a pretender
to the faith, saying everything the faithful wanted to hear?"
Do you have an opinion?
Then listen for your call on...
You have two minutes to record your message.
Thanks to Pat MaQuire
"UN inspectors... were perfectly clear in declaring
Iraq 'fundamentally disarmed' of '90%-95%'
of its WMD by December 1998. This assertion was simply ignored by the media ahead of the war."
--Media Lens,How The Press Buried The Truth Attribution
Subject:"This Bart fella's good"
Bart, you had Bush saying:
> "Hey, this Bart fella's good.
> ...maybe he'd work for us??
I thought you were working
for them, everytime you slam Democrats!
Your Zell Miller like comments give aid and comfort to the enemy.
With friends like you....
Yellow Dog Democrat
Harry, I take it you're happy when the Democrats hide under a
You're happy when they wet themselves in fear when Mr Rove barks?
You're happy when they fail to stand up to the schoolyard bully?
You're happy when they refuse to fight for the people who elected them?
You and I, ... we see things differently.
Chicago Pokerfest winners
I blame the nuns,
but could you send me an e-mail with the amount due and your address?
I have checkbook, stamps and envelopes nearby.
Use this portal
and they'll send bartcop.com
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2004, bartcop.com
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Shirley Manson of the rock group "Garbage."
Shrl, call The BartPhone,
just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-748-1714
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you in Vegas at The Joint on your next American tour.
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