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  In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Bush lets Al Qaeda escape 
Najaf Fighting Looms
Pictures from Iraq
D-r-i-v-e   b-y   N-e-w-
Debate Format      'No!!!!'
Ordered to just walk away
2004 vote screwed, too 
Lyons & Conason Columns 
Marine Monkey Mail


Quote of the Day

"You can't read a newspaper 
   if you can't read." 
   --Too stupid to be president  Attribution

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Volume 1376 - Barking Mad 

  Wednesday    August 11, 2004                                                                                                               Listen to Mike Malloy on AAR


"When they say they served with Kerry in Vietnam, what they
  really mean is that they were in Vietnam at the same time.
  Kind of like how Snoopy served with the Red Baron"
      --Jon Stewart, on the Swift Boat Liars    Attribution

 Bush Leak Allowed al-Qaida Suspects to Escape
  Whose side does Bush work for?     Ours or Al Qaeda?

  Click  Here

 ...senior officials said Tuesday that some al-Qaida fugitives escaped after news reports
 revealed the arrest of Osama's computer expert who was cooperating with investigators.

 Muhammad Naeem Noor Khan, a 25-year-old Pakistani, was nabbed in a July 13 raid in Lahore.
 His capture was a signal victory for Pakistan, a key U.S. ally in the war on terrorism. He led
 authorities to a key al-Qaida figure and sent e-mails to terrorists so investigators could trace them.

 But on Tuesday, two senior officials expressed dismay that the arrest of Khan made it into the
 media too soon - reported first in American newspapers on Aug. 2 after it was disclosed to
 journalists by U.S. officials in Washington.  "Let me say that this intelligence leak jeopardized our
 plan and some al-Qaida suspects ran away," one of the Pakistani officials said on condition of anonymity.

 Kinda Sleazy Rice acknowledged Sunday that Khan's name had been disclosed to reporters in
 Washington "on background," meaning that it could be published, but the information could not be
 attributed by name to the official who had revealed it.

 The Pakistani officials said that after Khan's arrest, other al-Qaida suspects
 abruptly changed their hide-outs and moved to unknown places.

 ...because Bush wanted to rain on the Democrat's convention.
 Why isn't anybody pissed off about this?
 Why is Bush helping Al Qaeda get away?
 Whose side is Bush on?


 Subject: Bush's intelligence

 Hey Bart:

 My wife was laughing about how our four-year-old pronounced "calculator" as "cacalator."
 I immediately asked him to pronounce "nuclear."  He got it right the first time.

 The wife got the message and no words were necessary.



"There's a difference in philosophy, when you think about it...That's why you've
  got to be careful about this rhetoric, 'we're only going to tax the rich.'
  You know who the... the rich in America happen to be the small-business owners.
  That's what that means."
    --Dubya, lying again.    Kerry said he'd tax people making over $200K a year.
       I have a very small business, and I can't even spell $200K     Attribution

 U.S. Demands Najaf Militants End Fighting
  Please, can 't you people just be reasonable and stop the violence?

  Click  Here

 NAJAF, Iraq - U.S. forces adopted a new tactic Tuesday in their sixth day of battles here,
 sending patrols armed with loudspeakers into the streets to demand that militants loyal to a
 radical cleric drop their arms and leave Najaf immediately,    ...or face death.

 The call, broadcast in Arabic from American vehicles, added a psychological component to
 the U.S. offensive. It came as U.S. helicopter gunships had just swissed a tall building 400 yards
 from the gold-domed Imam Ali Shrine with rockets, missiles and 30 mm cannons - one of the
 closest strikes yet to what is one of the holiest sites in Shia Islam.

 Plumes of thick, black smoke rose from the building, which serves as a hotel for visitors to the shrine.
 Witnesses said insurgents were firing from inside it and that U.S. forces returned fire.

"We've pretty much just been patrolling
  and flying helicopters all over the place,
  and when we see something bad, we blow it up,"
   said U.S. Marine Maj. David Holahan, describing Bush policy in the Middle East.


 Pictures from Iraq


 I wish I knew the story behind this little guy.
 How far is he from home?
 Why is he waving to the infidels who invaded his country?
 Will we still be in Iraq when he learns to carry a gun?


"I'm telling you, when you start asking the question, can you read and write
  and add and subtract, all of a sudden, people start learning better."
    --Too stupid to be a greeter at Wal-Mart  Attribution

"May I help me, ...I mean help you?"

 Debate Formats for 2004
  I didn't read ahead on this,  ..cause I thought I'd be sick

  Click  Here

 The Commission on Presidential Debates (CPD) announced formats for its 2004 debates.
 Dates and sites for these debates were announced on November 6, 2003 as follows:

 First presidential debate:

 The candidates will be seated at a table with the moderator in the first and third presidential debates
 and in the vice presidential debate. The second presidential debate will use the town meeting format
 in which undecided voters, selected by the Gallup Organization, will question the candidates.

 This is an incredibly bad idea.  Accepting this format only helps Bush.
 They'll stack the crowd with Freepers and suddenly it's a Springer Circus.

 Each debate will last for ninety minutes, start at 9:00 p.m. ET, and take place before a live audience.

 The first presidential debate will focus primarily on domestic policy, and the third presidential debate
 will focus primarily on foreign policy. The town meeting debate and the vice presidential debate will be open to all topics.


 Each debate will have a different single moderator to be selected by the CPD.

 That means they'll be FOX News bastards.

 The moderators job in the first and third presidential debates and the vice presidential debate will be
 to introduce and change topics, to ensure that the participants have equal time, and to encourage some
 direct exchange among the candidates. The moderators will select all topics and questions.

 This is an incredibly bad idea.  Accepting this format only helps Bush.
 Why can't the candidates debate man-to-man? They know what subjects are important.

 In the town meeting debate, the town meeting participants will pose their questions to the candidates.
 The town meeting participants will review their questions with the moderator (Brit Hume, who will
 green light pro-Bush questions and bury the questions about WMDs) before the debate for the
 sole purpose of avoiding duplicate questions. (and protecting Bush)

 The moderators will have discretion to ask follow-up questions in all debates.

 That means Brit Hume will press Kerry for details, pretending Kerry didn't answer the question
 will accepting any crap Bush says as a full and complete answer. Kerry doesn't want to win?
 Brit Hume will be all over Kerry with, "So why did you lie to America?"  while FOX Fave Bush
 will get the never-ending, "Well done, Mr President" grab on the ass after each non-answer.

 First presidential debate: Fox
 Vice presidential debate: ABC
 Second presidential debate: NBC

 This article failed to get into more specifics, such as are they going to play that silly game
 where they count the seconds until Bush is off the hook, then make it illegal to go back and
 make Bush answer the questions that he ran out the clock on?

 I warned Kerry that the election would be won or lost with the debate rules.
 Gore ran rings around Smirk, but Smirk kept weaseling out with those time limits.
 Kerry seems to want to be "Gored" and that's not good

...but why did we invade Baghdad?

 Subject:  What would Rove do?

 Kerry needs to steal a page out of Rove's play book.

 During the Repuke Convention, he should go to Baghdad and talk to the troops.
 Its time for Democrats to grow some balls and start fighting these Fascist bastards.
 Joe H.

 Joe, good idea, but Bush might order Kerry shot out of the Baghdad sky.



"Bush is making America look and feel very horrible around the world.
  He doesn't represent the heart of America."
     -- Carlos Santana, in Billboard,    Attribution

 Ordered to just walk away
  Iraq is free to torture anyone they want now


  Click  Here

 He watched as men in plainclothes beat blindfolded and bound prisoners in the
 enclosed grounds of the Iraqi Interior Ministry.  He immediately radioed for help.

 Soon after, a team of Oregon Army National Guard soldiers swept into the yard
 and found dozens of tortured Iraqi detainees.  Nearby, the soldiers counted dozens
 more prisoners and -- metal rods, rubber hoses, electrical wires and bottles of chemicals.

 The soldiers disarmed the Iraqi jailers and administered first aid and radioed for instructions.
 But in a move that frustrated and infuriated the guardsmen, superior officers told him to return
 the prisoners to their abusers and immediately withdraw. It was June 29 -- Iraq's first official
 day as a sovereign country since the U.S.-led invasion.  The tortures were "legal."

 Welcome to Bush's vision of a democratic Iraq.

"Now, only the bad people in Iraq get tortured..."


Used with permission :)

 Mike Wallace handcuffed, Arrested
  Disorderly Conduct? He's 86 - who did he beat up?

  Click  Here

 Andre 3000 Is World's Best-Dressed Man
  Damn, I was hoping to win that title...

  Click  Here

 Allergy Vaccine Could be Just Two Years Away
  Promising results from trials involving birch pollen

  Click  Here

 Obama leads with 67 percent in Illinois
  They sent Keyes to Illinois to be slaughtered

  Click  Here

 2004 Vote may be as screwed at the 2000 vote
  Provisional Ballots Raise New Questions

  Click  Here

 ... just three months before what looks to be another extremely close presidential election,
 states don't agree about how to count these ballots. Some localities are worried they won't
 have time to tally them, and voting rights advocates fear many won't be counted at all.

 Under the new law, anyone who claims to be registered in the jurisdiction where they try
 to vote but whose name is not listed must be given a provisional ballot. If the voter's
 registration information is verified later, the ballot is included in the total for the election.

 No one knows how many provisional ballots will be cast in November, in part because only
 about half the states allowed such ballots or something similar in 2000. It will easily be tens
 of thousands nationwide. In Los Angeles County alone, 44,000 were cast in the March primary.

 But verifying voter eligibility and hand-counting the ballots takes a long time. Some states,
 by law, give counties just days to finish. That has election administrators contemplating a
 nightmare scenario: What happens if the number of provisional ballots is bigger than the
 apparent margin of victory on Election Day? The outcome could hang in doubt while
 election officials rush to beat the clock.


 Now - with the election less than 90 days away - now they look into this. The Democrats
 should have started working in this around Christmas 2000.  The GOP is happy to muddy up
 this mess because they have the media on their side.  Someone will think of a cute "Sore Kerryman"
 mantra and the media will echo it and repeat it and try their best to drum Kerry out of the White House.

 Why are the Democrats so desperate to lose?
 Why are we so afraid of winning?

"We can only have one president..."


 Subject: Quote from Gee Duhmbo

> Quotes

> "I'm not going to be satisfied until everybody who wants to work can find a job."
>     --America's nightmare who killed 3 million jobs with his tax cuts to the rich,

 This is what pisses me off the most, the qualifier that he throws in there - "everybody who wants to work."
 This is a myth and a stereotype handed down to him from that piggish vulgarian Rush Limbaughoxycontinjunkie.
 It explains away unemployment by assuming that most of the unemployed people in this country don't have jobs
 because they simply don't want to work.
 "Well," as the Church Lady used to say, "isn't that conveeeeeenient!"  I was out of work the first half of this year,
 and the time off was much needed, granted, but I really wanted to get back to work and put food on my family.
 It's in my blood, I have worked since I was 14 and I still have a few years to go before I can buy that island near Tahiti for my retirement.
 I'm glad to say that (a) I am working now, and (b) unemployment checks helped me keep somewhat afloat while
 I was looking for work, as well as not having to cancel my subscription, so you could say that bartcop.com is partially
 subsidized by the government.  ;^)
 Every time I heard the Monkey say this I just wanted to bitch-slap my TV so hard he would feel it in Washington.
 He won't be satisfied until he rules the world and then throws it away like a broken toy the day after Christmas.
 Reading Bartcop kept me sane while I was unemployed, or at least off the street corners.
 Thanks for letting me rant, and keep swinging that hammer.
 Best regards,
 Jeff in Seattle, longtime subscriber

 Democrats to Reject Goss Nomination?

  Click  Here

 Democratic senators, in unusually tough statements about a fellow lawmaker, warned that
 Goss would be an unacceptable choice because of what they described as his partisanship.
 Even some Republican senators said the confirmation battle would not be worth it.

 Bush nominated him anyway.

 Administration officials said the White House calculated that the president could not lose:
 Democrats would either cave when faced with a fight, or Bush could accuse them of
 obstructing CIA stability at a time when the nation is under threat of a terrorist attack.

 Are the Democrats really going to put up a fight?
 Or will they cave in to Bush like all the other times?

 Subject: Kerry and hecklers

 Did you catch Kerry on C-SPAN at a recent yard party? He was heckled.
 But you know what he did and I LOVE this! He called the heckler up to the front,
 asked the heckler why he was heckling and gave the heckler the microphone.

 The heckler stammered, blushed, gave Kerry the microphone back and left.
 Of course, the media ignored this.

 Pat S

 Of course the media ignored that because it made Kerry look good.
 Clinton used to do the same thing, and he always won because he's damn hard
 to out-argue, plus he looked reasonable and generous by giving the heckler a voice.

"Hecklers should be tortured..."

 Dueling Quotes

"I would still be picking cotton if the country's moral principles had not
  been shaped by the Declaration of Independence. Obama "has broken
  and rejected those principles-- he has taken the slaveholder's position."
    -- Alan Keyes, behind Barack Obama by 50 points in the polls     Attribution

"Keyes should look to members of his own party to see if that's
  appropriate if he's going to use that kind of language."
     --Barack Obama, pointing out that there are NO elected GOP blacks in DC  Attribution
       Why would the pro-slavery GOP send a brother to Illinois to be lynched?

 Real men don't wear costumes
     by Gene Lyon

  Click  Here

 Republicans countered with as vicious a smear against Kerry as we've seen since - well,
 since the last time George W. Bush ran against somebody with a higher Testosterone Quotient:
 the 2000 South Carolina primary, when little gremlins hinted to suggestible Moron Americans
 that John McCain's years as a Vietnam POW had left him psychologically unfit, and, oh, did you
 know he had a black child? (An adopted daughter from Bangladesh.) As "The Daily Show's"
 Jon Stewart put it, maybe they had him confused with Strom Thurmond.

 Thanks in part to McCain's lingering anger, the so-called Swift Boat Veterans for Truth succeeded
 mainly in reminding voters of the 2000 smear. A Real Man, particularly one who'd taken a playboy's
 leave from his own National Guard duties back in the day, would renounce such tactics. Not Bush.


 Subject: I call BS on your treatment of Ted Rall

 As a fan of Ted Rall, I must call bullshit on your labeling of him as "helping Bush"
 - just because he wasn't in total praise of Kerry. Then, by that logic, your calling of
 Democrats as "pink tutus unwilling to win", however true that might be, is exactly
 the same as "helping Bush". But we know that's plainly a stretch of logic; likewise,
 saying Ted Rall "helps Bush" is exactly the same bullshit.
 Look, Ted Rall teeters into the extremes quite a bit, but goddammit, he says what
 needs to be said: Like you, only he says what even YOU refuse to say.
(Say... isn't that a Ted Rall icon on the same page?)
 Anyways, I'm very sure that he's quite oriented to the defeat of Bush as the rest of us.
 He just refuses to put the truth through a filter, is all.

 Rall seems to hate the military, Kerry, Clinton and Bush.


 This cartoon makes Kerry out to be a raving lunatic, unfit for office.
 Have I ever called Kerry a raving lunatic, unfir for office?

 Ted seems to need attention, so he delights in pissing off everybody.


Fahrenheit 9-11,
Hunting of the President
Order your copies from the BartCop Bookstone

 Latest Bush Blunder: A Mole Made Public
     by Joe Conason

  Click  Here

 Leaking Mr. Khan's name enhanced nobody's safety - with the possible exception of certain Al Qaeda
 members warned of their own impending capture when they read the morning newspapers. For within a
 few days, Reuters reported that following his arrest, Mr. Khan had been "turned." A computer expert
 picked up in Lahore, he was said to be helping the authorities break up terrorist cells in Britain and the U.S.

 Security officials in London are still enraged because the Khan leak from Washington forced them to act
 too precipitously, rushing to arrest 13 suspects in broad daylight raids across Britain the next day. No doubt
 the C.I.A. officials whose high-tech tracking efforts led to Mr. Khan's capture felt similar frustration. In a
 war against terrorist groups that have proved nearly impossible to penetrate with human agents, the loss of
 such a well-placed turncoat could prove tragic.

 There is no question about who perpetrated the leak. On Aug. 8, National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice
 admitted that the administration had disclosed Khan's arrest to The Times "on background." Experts around
 the world are still astonished by this reckless decision.


Dedicated to Mike Malloy's "Flying Monkey right."

Marty's Entertainment Page

 Subject: Pfc Hammer

 It's a shame we get more military service from a cat, than we got out of our president

 Larry L

  is different.

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"The gay community's agenda is the greatest threat to our freedom that we face today.

  Really? A greater threat than Al Qaeda or George Bush?

  Why do you think we see the rationalization for abortion and multiple sexual partners?
  That's a gay agenda."
     --Tom Coburn, (R-Jesus Twin) from Oklahama,  Attribution

 This is Oklahoma logic at it's best.
 Hey Tom, you're a doctor (who his GOP challenger claimed has performed abortions).
 Tell mw, Dr Coburn, how many abortions will a typical gay couple have in a lifetime?
 And how can you scream at them for "multiple partners" if you won't let them marry?
 Like always, the GOP's answer to gays is to "knock it off."
 I have an idea, Dr Coburn - why don't you mind your own fucking business?

 Subject: Reason for Tiger's decline

 Found the following in an article on the Curse of Celebrity-Athlete couplings:

 Pete should offer a sympathy call to Tiger Woods, who is engaged to model Elin Nordegren
 and currently is colder than Ashton Kutcher's movie career. ( ha ha ) Tiger's dad called this one
 a few years back when he told TV Guide, "Let's face it. A wife can be a deterrent to a good golf game."

 But Tiger went ahead and shacked up with the Swedish seductress, and all of a sudden his swing is off.
 Uh-huh. He's been living with Elin since 2002. He hasn't won a major in 25 months. You do the math.

 Click  Here

 See, it's not Tiger's fault!
 It's Elin's!


 Unless he met her that week in Tulsa in 2001, it's the BartCop Hex.

 John Kerry & The Electras
  See, listen to Kerry's band from 1961


  Click  Here

 Get a copy of the album Kerry recorded in 1961 with his schoolmates at St. Paul School in New Hampshire.
 The album has been re-released on CD and is available now via PayPal - $14.00 + $2.00 shipping

 Subject: Re: Alan Keyes

 Hey Bart,

 I am an African -American living in Illinois and a huge fan of Barack Obama. I live in a very
 Republican part of East Central Illinois -- Champaign. It is even amazing in such a Republican area
 of this state how excited the electorate is about the candidacy of Mr. Obama.   I saw Mr. Obama
 speak last week at a rally at the University of Illinois. The crowd was large and electric. So of course
 the Illinois GOP would stoop to such a low and bring in their GOP candidate for hire -- Alan Keyes.

 The GOP and Keyes want to turn this campaign into a farce. He has been on television sweating profusely,
 babbling on and on and trying to start a fight about the debates. Keys says ' Obama doesn't want to tussle with him.'
 Keyes is obviously nuts and as soon as his novelty show gets old -- maybe the Chicago media will get tired of covering his tired story.

 The Illinois GOP thought that they were going to bring in this Carpetbagger, split the back vote ( like we will vote
 for anyone just because he is black) and make a good showing for the GOP chairwoman who wants to be Governor
 - Judy Barr Topinka ( who was one of the few GOP individuals in this state that USED TO have some Black support).
 The Chicago Sun Time's gossip columnist - Sneed - stated yesterday in her column that Keyes was now registered
 to vote in this state - that would be difficult since you have to meet a 30 day residency requirement!

 Well sorry Judy and Alan -- The Obama candidacy brings hope for many in this state regardless of race, creed or color.
 We are sticking with a guy that has integrity and yes... is an actually a resident of this state!

 Sue S

Want to buy a napkin with the sweat of Elvis,
George Patton, Napoleon and Abraham Lincoln?

Plus, it's still wet!

If you hurry, you might get it for under $500
Send your bid, in cash, to PO BOX 54466, Tulsa, OK  74155

Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq

 907, 914, 920, 925, 932  dead American soldiers.

Drip, drip, drip - young lives go down the drain


 Subject: Astrology


 Cory's comments about astrology being superstition is patently false.
 Science now offers explanations for people's behavior in relation to their birth and time of gestation.

 The distance the earth is from the sun's radiation during a person's gestation is completely relative
 to that person's genetic make-up and their eventual "personality".

 The real issue is how did ancient people know this?

Please visit out sponsors

 Subject: Bush vs McCain 2000

 On the Daily Show this past Monday, President Clinton made a remark about the
 2000 GOP primary election between Geo. W. and John McCain.

 I thought I herd Clinton say that Geo. W. ran a commercial stating that while Sen. Mc Cain
 was a prisoner in Viet Nam he was a traitor to his country.

 This is true, I saw it myself.
 Bush got those same "swift boat" liars to stand with him on a stage and say McCain was
 a traitor to his fellow POWs and they said his years of torture made McCain mentally unstable.

 There was also a remark about Sen. Mc Cain adopting a child. Can you confirm any of this.
 Thank you,

 In Carolina in 2000, Karl Rove had their phone people call bigots and ask, "Would you still vote
 for McCain if you knew he has a black baby?" implying he got some crack whore pregnant "like Clinton did."
 Truth is, McCain and his wife adopted a baby from Bangladesh.

 The Bush's always play the race card - that's their strong suit.
 The Bush's play dirty - even for politics.

  "I forgive you, George..."

 VCR Alert

 Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie host the Choice Teen Awards on MTV.
 Lenny to perform live, and surely a few more...
 World Poker Tour is a repeat from Aruba.

 Jon Stewart has America's worst actor.
(Did you see Maureen Dowd on his show last night?
  She must've had some work done - she looked great.)



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"I favor the death penalty for abortionists and other people who take life."
     --Tom Coburn, (R-Jesus Twin) as crazy as they come, killing for Jesus    Attribution

 Today in History

 • In 1860, the nation's first successful silver mill began operation near Virginia City, Nev.

 • In 1909, the SOS distress signal was first used by an American ship, the Arapahoe, off Cape Hatteras, N.C.

 • In 1934, the first federal prisoners arrived at Alcatraz

 • In 1956, Jackson Pollock died in an car wreck in New York. Pickles Bush was not responsible

 • In 1962, the Russians launched cosmonaut Andrian Nikolayev on a 94-hour flight.

 • In 1965, rioting broke out in the Watts section of Los Angeles.

 • In 1984, President Reagan joked that "We begin bombing Russia in five minutes."


 A marine wrote to me, his name is  Nathaniel K Luna CIV
 Here's what he said:

 Subject: Re: your site sucks and so does everything you stand for
            I hope you get to experience the third world life of someone
            who is brutalized and has no rights

 Wanting to give a break to our fighting men, I sent this back:

> Luna, put something coherent into words and I'll print it.

> I'm pro-military but anti-Bush.
> That's possible, you know...

> bart

 What was his reply?

 I fell as though your site easily cheats and deceives people.
 Webster's dictionary defines that as a SUCKER!
 I appoligize your site is for suckers.


 I offered him a chance to air his views, but apparently
 name-calling is his best chance at winning the debate.
 I hope you make it home safely...


"I keep hearing these Republicans trying to dismiss the three injuries Kerry got in Vietnam.
  You know, I didn't see Ann Coulter out there. I didn't see Rush Limbaugh out there. I didn't
  see Dick Cheney, who got five deferments out there They turn their slime machine on John Kerry.
  They did it to John McCain. They did it to me. Don't let them do it to John Kerry."
      --Max Cleland, telling the Chickenhawks to go suck a trailer hitch   Attribution

When will the rapes stop?
When will the tortures stop?
When will the looting stop?
When will the murders stop?
When will the invasions stop?

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