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  In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
US: No Evidence of Iraq WMD
Bush to give major speech
Bremer changes his story 
D-r-i-v-e   b-y   N-e-w-
Rodney Dies at Age 82
Crawford paper gets Threats 
Masters of War
Rummy: No Iraq-Al Qaeda Link
Bush's Drunken Rage


Quote of the Day

"The president's team decided on a prevent 
  defense in the first debate. In football, the 
  prevent defense guarantees one thing: 
  it prevents victory."  
    --the soon-to-be-arrested Pigboy 


Support Bartcop.com PO Box 54466 , Tulsa, OK 74155PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com

Volume 1417 -  No Respect at All

Advertise with Bart - Make a profit

 Wed-Thursday    Oct 6-7,  2004                                                                                                                       Mike Malloy on AAR weeknights


"Bush and Kerry's first debate was held last Thursday. While neither candidate
  delivered a knock-out punch, polls indicate John Kerry was the winner.
  Though Bush later complained it was because he couldn't get his buzzer to work."
    --Tina Fey, Saturday Night Live  

 U.S. Report Finds No Evidence of Iraq WMD
  Click  Here

 Contradicting the main argument for a war that has cost more than 1,000 American lives,
 the top U.S. arms inspector said Wednesday he found no evidence that Iraq produced any WMDs
 after 1991. He also concluded that Saddam Hussein (news - web sites)'s capabilities to develop such
 weapon had dimmed - not grown - during a dozen years of sanctions before last year's U.S. invasion.

 Contrary to prewar statements by the greedy Oil Monkey and top administration officials, Saddam did not
 have chemical and biological stockpiles when the war began and his nuclear capabilities were deteriorating,
 not advancing, said Charles Duelfer, head of the Iraq Survey Group.

 The findings come less than four weeks before an election in which Bush's handling of Iraq has become the
 central issue. Kerry has seized on comments by Paul Bremer, that Bush did not have enough troops in Iraq
 to prevent lawlessness after Saddam was toppled.

 The real crime here is they f-ing knew it all along.
 There was never any evidence of WMDs because there were no WMDs.

 Powell assured Eqypt and the Saudis in 2001 that Saddam was contained and powerless,
 but Bush wanted top steal that oil and Powell and the others sold their souls and killed good men.
 How is it possible that Bush can win this election now?

 They keep promising "more of the same" and all they've delievered was death and destruction.
 President Kerry should put them on trial for war crimes, then turn them over to The Hague.




"I don't want to say who won that first debate, but today the FCC is furious
  and is fining the networks for showing the emperor with no clothes."
      --Bill Maher

 Bush to give major speech
  Hoping to halt the big slide, Monkey to give "major speech"

  Click  Here

 In a rare, last-minute change in the presidential schedule, Bush has scrapped a planned talk
 on medical liability and instead will give what the White House called a "significant speech"
 about the two central issues of the campaign -- the war on terrorism and the economy.

 The president is said to be eager to rebut Kerry's attacks on such issues,
 especially those that came during last Thursday's presidential debate,

 Sounds like six days after getting his clock cleaned, his team thought of some rebuttal.


 Bremer changes story, now defends U.S. actions in Iraq
  Just when you think you're out - ...they pull you back in...

  Click  Here

"I was lying, Bush is great.he knows what he's doing
 Bush is smart, Bush is a war hero, Bush is wise, and so is Rumsfeld.
 Bush has a vision for Iraq, Bush is a united, not a divider. Bush is great.
 Bush has a bold vision for Iraq's future, and Cheney is nice also - and great..
 The citizens are luck to have two masterminds control their future - so very lucky."


 Subject: Oedipus

 Have you ever read the story of Oedipus, Bart?
 This is Shrub to a "T."
 He is obsessed with outdoing his Dad, even desires to do away with him,
 because he is in direct competition with him for Babs' affection.

 Which, by the by, he will never get since the old hag is completely incapable
 of genuine human feeling, but that's an issue for another day on the couch.


 Rodney Dangerfield Dies at Age 82

  Click Here

"When I was born, I was so ugly that the doctor slapped my mother,"
"When I started in show business, I played one club that was so far out
  my act was reviewed in Field and Stream."
"Every time I get in an elevator, the operator says the same thing to me: `Basement?'"

 Boy, you want to talk about a comedy legend?
 I think Rodney helped create the art form, back before any of us were born.
 Forty years ago, this 11 year-old Catholic would sit in front of the black & white TV
 on Sunday nights and watch the not-so-handsome comedian tell the funniest damn jokes ever.

 My favorite Rodney joke:
 He went to his wife, suspecting she was unfaithful and asked her, "Is there somebody else?"

 His wife replied, "There must be..."


 Subject: Who would you like to meet for a beer?

 I'd prefer to go out for a few beers with Cheney.

 Afterwards I'd take him out of the bar by the side entrance
 into that urine smelling garbage strewn side alley and explain
 a few facts about his corruption and lies in what Hemingway
 would have called a dirty, poorly lighted place.



Mount St. Helens Live Web Cam

 Subject: Show 55 feedback

 Hey Bart!

 I finally got a chance to sit down and listen to the program.
 I have to say you got off to a slower start than usual but by part 2
 you were on a roll and the rest of the program came out smooth.

 Tommy might be too nice to say this, so I'll hit you with it:
 the seague music was way too long.

 Every topic and cut switch was like reaching for an extra step at the top
 of the stairs at a full run and finding myself trying to stand on thin air.

 Letting the intro and round up music play out was great but stretching out seague music is a disaster.
 The RESOLUTE bushiekins stuttering to answer question was a riot.  Nice work.

 joe in Japan

 First, Tommy is not too nice to mention that.
 He agrees with you that my taste in music should be kept to the barest of minimums.

 Other radio programs have guests, commercials, sidebars, weather, traffic etc.,,
 so I figure any sound that takes the place of my rat-like voice for a few minutes can't be all bad.
 Also, are any of the musical segments longer than a minute?
 Is a minute really too long to wait between segments?

 Radio and TV commercials are usually 3-4 minutes of explosions and screaming car salesmen.
 Dave's last commercial before the band plays is over seven minutes.
 Watch him tonight - they'll play 13 commercials between the second guest and the musical guest.
 If my minute of music is hard to handle, what does a block of 13 commercials do to you?

 It's not like I'm asking you to sit thru the drum solo on In-a-Godda-Da-Vida between bits.
 I'll be listening to the vulgar Pigboy and he'll play "Plush" by the Stone Temple Pilots and just as I
 start to get into the song, he comes back spouting his Nazi race hate and that always pisses me off.

 Still, the customer is the boss, right?
 I'm averaging 3-5 feedback e-mails per show, so it's hard to get a feel for what the masses want,
 but I do appreciate you bringing that up - all the way from Japan.
 Thanks for listening, thanks for writing.

 Yahoo's non-scientific vote tally

  Click  Here

 Cheney     33%  32723 votes
 Edwards   62%  62739 votes


 Subject: Smirk's hometown paper

 Bart (and Sam),

 I heard that the Crawford newspaper, The Iconoclast, is hemorrhaging subscribers
 and advertisers as a result of last week's editorial supporting Kerry over Dubya:  Click  Here

 I live in Olympia, Washington, and just subscribed for a year (a whopping $45).
 I suggest you and your readers do the same to support free speech and standing up for what's right.

 What would you say to advertising bartcop.com on the smirking chimp's "hometown" newspaper's web site???
 A banner advertisement on their web home page costs $100 per month.  It constantly rotates through
 three at five-second intervals:  http://www.iconoclast-texas.com/adrates.htm.

 If you want to purchase one or more of those ads, I'm in for $50.
 I spoke with Melanie (254-675-3336) and she said they have space available now.

 Let me know if you need me to send the check, Bart.
 I think this would make a hell of a statement AND maybe even get you some national press...

 John, I think that's a great idea - I say "Let's do it!"
 You can send that check to
 PO Box 54466
 Tulsa, OK  74155

 Statement from the Iconoclast

  Click  Here

 We expected that perhaps a few readers might cancel subscriptions, and maybe even ads,
 but have been amazed at a few of the more intense communications, some of which
 bordered on outright personal attacks and uncalled-for harassment.

 We have been told by several avid Bush supporters that the days when newspapers publish
 editorials without personal repercussions are over.When Bush was endorsed four years ago,
 the Gore supporters did not respond with threats,

 The new mode of operation, I am told, is that when a newspaper prints an editorial of which
 some sectors might disagree, the focus is now upon how to run the newspaper out of business
 Some individuals are threatening innocent commercial concerns, claiming that if they advertise
 in The Iconoclast, they will be run out of business.

 THIS is what happens when you fail to bow to the Illegal Emporer.
 If you do not return, "Heil Bush!" you cannot remain in business.
 You'd think this thuggish, brown-boot behavior would even rankle Republicanbs,
 but as long as they can ride Bush's brainless coattails, they will not speak out.

 This is another reason Bush must be defeated.

 Kent Bye needs your help


  Click  Here


  FYI: I got all 44 interviews assigned already.
  That was certainly quick - thanks.


  Kent Bye

 Howard Stern to Move to Satellite Radio

  Click  Here

 Howard Stern says he will broadcast his show on Sirius Satellite Radio beginning in 2006,
 after being dropped earlier this year from several stations that objected to his humor.

 By luring Stern away from Viacom, the deal gives a shot in the arm to satellite radio overall,
 a new business built on attracting subscribers to dozens of radio stations broadcast digitally. .

 Pardon my language, but fuck the FCC.
 They are driving every non-mainstream act into pay radio.
 Why should any station take any chance if the word Nazis are going to fine them $1 million
 if the old, white, rich bastards have a different comedy template than the rest of the nation.

 The sons of bitches who murder people for a living have decided Stern is "dirty."
 The thieves who are stealing billions from the old and the weak and the scared and the stupid
 are pretending to have morals by being outaraged at the sight of a woman's breast, but the
 thousands of dead kids in Iraq is not only a "thing of beauty," but it's also "God's will?"

 Pretty soon - mark my words - HBO and satellite radio will have all the best acts and
 then the broadcast whores will call a summit to ask, "Where did our audience go?"

 I'll tell you right now - they ran towards the same freedom our ancestors sailed towards.
 Bush wants to be worshipped and anyone who doesn't can't make a living in this country.
 Fuck Bush and fuck the FCC.

 Subject: Only now are you beginning to see that Bush hates his father?


 Clearly Bush is a momma's boy with a vast unresolved Oedipal complex.
 His emotional development is arrested at the age of a 5 year old.

 How else to account for his childish cowboy personality, where the
 whole world is black and white and everyone just with him or against him.
 He is a full blown malignant narcissist.


 I'm not sure about the "only now" part...
 I've never heard anyone say that before, maybe I'm just slow...


 RNC internet firm caught red-handed hacking?
  Would the evil BFEE cheat to disrupt a website critical of them?

  Click  Here

 dKos12 candidate Ginny Schrader had her campaign hacked.
 The firewall "caught" Campaign Solutions, internet firm to Bush, the RNC,
 the NRCC and about a third of the Republican caucus. Then the lying began:


 I told them, "Be careful when you break the law."
 I hope my eye doesn't start twitching.
 That's the first sign that we're going to be exposed..."


The hottest babes are for Kerry-Edwards


"I believe the U.S. poses a greater risk to Egypt and the Islamic world than terrorism.
  If we have to have a global policeman, it should be the United Nations, not the U.S.
  What good does America do for me as a global policeman? I might need this global
  policeman to protect me if Egypt is attacked by Israel. And you think America will
  rush to protect Egypt from the Israelis, their strongest allies?"
      --Tarek Refaat, a software engineer from Cairo,   Attribution


 If you have subscribed, temp or permanent, we want you in the members area.
 If you can't hear the radio show, contact us and mention if you're getting other audio.
 That will tell us if the problem's on your end or ours

 If I owe you something or if I've forgotten to do something, contact Sam.

 Subject: The hottest babes are Democrats

 I was shown your website by my dad a while ago; and I love it!
 It speaks the truth about Bush. Everyday I look forward in seeing what you have posted.
 I liked the picture that you had on there today, the one with the caption "The hottest babes
 are for Kerry-Edwards" showing who I believe to be the actress Natalie Portman.

 I love her shirt, I wish I knew where to get one like that!!
 Keep up the good work,
 Stephanie S.

 Stephanie, that was Rachel Lee Cook.

 I have forwarded your request to the "art department."
 I'll bet we're selling some of those shirts in mere days,
 and thanks for writing and tell your Dad that Bart says "Hey!"


   ...will return in the next issue.

Jon Stewart,
Kitty Kelley,
Chain of Command

Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9-11 is for sale

Order yours from the BartCop Bookstore

 Vulgar Pigboy loses medical records appeal
   Can he get as "Cupcake Prison" cell like Martha?

  Click  Here

 The Pigboy's medical records were properly seized by investigators seeking
 information on alleged illegal drug use, an appeals court ruled Wednesday.

 State investigators had raided the offices of Limbaugh's doctors seeking information
 on whether the right-wing firebrand illegally "doctor shopped" to obtain Hillbilly Heroin
 from multiple doctors. Limbaugh, 53, has not been charged with a crime because the
 investigation had been at a standstill pending a decision on the medical records.

 The court rejected Limbaugh's arguments that his privacy rights trumped investigators'
 power to seize his records and said prosecutors did not have to notify him of search
 warrants or give him an opportunity to challenge them.

"I shouldn't have to give up my right to privacy to prove my innocence.  That's not the way
 it works in this country," said the fascist troll who wants to have sex with The Patriot Act.

"I hope my bunkie is black."


 Subject: Can these morons screw up any worse?

 The following is a Quote from the Debate last night between Cheney and Edwards....HAHAHA


 CHENEY:  "Well, the reason they keep mentioning Halliburton is because they're
                      trying to throw up a smokescreen.  They know the charges are false.
                      They know that if you go, for example, to factcheck.com (he means .org),
                      an independent Web site sponsored by the University of Pennsylvania,
                      you can get the specific details with respect to Halliburton.
                      It's an effort that they've made repeatedly to try to confuse the voters
                      and to raise questions, but there's no substance to the charges."

 However, the site, Http://www.factcheck.org does not refute Edwards' presentation of the facts.

 But you see, that's the beauty of the man's style! "You're lying, and here's an impartial 3rd party who will prove it!"
 he says, knowing full well that the majority of the audience will never bother to check what that 3rd party actually has to say!)



 It's obvious why Cheney is President!
 He can tell a whopper that everyone knows is a whopper, but he does it with
 such style, such calm assurance, that people believe him any way!
 Bush - on the other hand - looks so nervous and shifty that even
 when he's telling the truth, you think he's probably lying.



Arianna Huffington knows where to find the truth

Thanks to Mind Pilot, senior bartcop-sticker-photo taker.

Get your bartcop stickers!
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Send a stamped envelope to
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 Rumsfeld: No Iraq-Al Qaeda Link

   Click  Here

 Scummy Rummy said on Monday he knew of no "strong, hard evidence" linking Saddam and al Qaeda,
 despite describing extensive contacts between the two before the Iraq invasion. Rumsfeld, during a
 question-and-answer session before the Council on Foreign Relations in New York, was asked to explain
 the connection between Saddam and al Qaeda, who were blamed for 9-11 attacks on America.

"I have seen the answer to that question migrate in the intelligence community over a period of a year in the most
 amazing way. Second, there are differences in the intelligence community as to what the relationship was," he said.
"To my knowledge, I have not seen any strong, hard evidence that links the two," Rumsfeld added.

 Well then explain 1060 dead soldiers, you crazy (and now super-rich) bastard!


 Subject: Brian Tracy  (from yesterday's page)

 Is this the same Brian Tracy that was convicted in Arkansas
 a few years ago for molesting a 4 year old girl??

 Looks like the pictures of him in the paper., ..
 Wow what will we find out next?...

 Kauzmo, I'm not familiar with that particular case, but if we can use history
 as a guide, then Brian Tracy is almost certainly a child molester - he's GOP!



Marty's Entertainment Page

 Subject: what a great picture of John Lennon


 ...it still hurts.


 Suzanne, it sure does.

 Obviously, nobody can speak for John now, but if he was still alive,
 I'm guessing he'd have a few comments about Bush's nasty, greedy, bloody war, such as:

"Fuck Bush, fuck Cheney, fuck Powell, fuck Wolfowitz and fuck Donald Rumsfeld.
  Those lousy sons of bitches are killing those kids everyday just as sure as if they
  snuck up behind them in a crowded movie theater and ran a goddamn ice pick
  thru the back of their necks, the soulless buggerers!  Fuck all of them!!"

 Of course, that's just a guess...

 Click  Here  to listen to an outtake from the brand new, just released BCR Show 56

 It's right-wing John McLaughlin giving the Iraq casualty stats as of last Friday.
 As of then, Bush caused 1055 deaths and get this:

 The number of amputees, wounded, injured or mentally ill is a staggering 28, 150


 Headline:   U.S. Report Finds No Evidence of Iraq WMD

 Headline:    Rumsfeld: No Iraq-Al Qaeda Link

 If that doesn't make you cry, either you don't have a heart      or     you're voting for four more years of Bush.



 Drunken Rage
  We saw the real Bush last Thursday

  Click  Here

 The President revealed something far darker during those ninety minutes in Miami.
 He proved that a man is never totally cured of his addictions, and that his alcohol dependency
 has transmuted into a public drunkenness with his own power. Without the enabling of staffers
 at work and the adoring audiences on the campaign trail who shield and worship him, Bush
 stammered and stumbled through a sobering debate in Coral Gables.

He was too lazy and selfish to bother preparing.
He is a pathological name-dropper.
He is a terrible listener.
He is impatient to a fault.

 Subject: Bush-Kerry debate

 When I watched the debates the thought I saw in Dubya's face was
"Goddam, if this was a dictatorship I wouldn't have to put up with this crap!"

 Michael W


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 Come you masters of war
 You that build all the guns
 You that build the death planes
 You that build the big bombs
 You that hide behind walls
 You that hide behind desks
 I just want you to know
 I can see through your masks

 You that never done nothin'
 But build to destroy
 You play with my world
 Like it's your little toy
 You put a gun in my hand
 And you hide from my eyes
 And you turn and run farther
 When the fast bullets fly

 Like Judas of old
 You lie and deceive
 A world war can be won
 You want me to believe
 But I see through your eyes
 And I see through your brain
 Like I see through the water
 That runs down my drain

 You fasten the triggers
 For the others to fire
 Then you set back and watch
 When the death count gets higher
 You hide in your mansion
 As young people's blood
 Flows out of their bodies
 And is buried in the mud

 You've thrown the worst fear
 That can ever be hurled
 Fear to bring children
 Into the world
 For threatening my baby
 Unborn and unnamed
 You ain't worth the blood
 That runs in your veins

 How much do I know
 To talk out of turn
 You might say that I'm young
 You might say I'm unlearned
 But there's one thing I know
 Though I'm younger than you
 Even Jesus would never
 Forgive what you do

 Let me ask you one question
 Is your money that good
 Will it buy you forgiveness
 Do you think that it could
 I think you will find
 When your death takes its toll
 All the money you made
 Will never buy back your soul

 And I hope that you die
 And your death'll come soon
 I will follow your casket
 In the pale afternoon
 And I'll watch while you're lowered
 Down to your deathbed
 And I'll stand o'er your grave
 'Til I'm sure that you're dead

 - Bob Dylan

Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq

  1043, 1054, 1059, 1064   dead American soldiers.

"I'm sorry I got us into this quagmire...."
--words Bush is unable to say


 Brazil Report
   by  BC Brasil

  Click  Here

 Brazilians are following the US elections closely. Strangers, when they discover that I am from
 the US, ask me why Bush is ahead in the polls. People tell me that I'm okay, but they aren't so sure
 about the rest of the people in/from the US. Sympathy for the US, world-wide, is about to dry up.

 The next time the US is attacked, and according to Rumsfeld and company it's an inevitability,
 there will be no outpouring of grief.  There will be no headlines like Le Monde's "We Are All Americans."

 The opinion in Brazil will be that the US asked for it. And this is a country that is basically sympathetic
 to the US. How will people who are already suspicious of the US react if W isn't replaced?

 Subject: the little Monkey and Poppy


 I never thought shrub wanted to impress his daddy.  I always believed shrub thought his daddy
 was a wimp, and Spurious George wanted to show he was a bigger man, by taking Baghdad.
 I also think little chimpy wants to show he's a bigger man than Reagan, and start a war with Iran.

 Shrub has some masculinity problems.  Notice how he likes to play dress up.
 He likes to get out of the suit and put on ranch clothes, or combat utilities, or a flight suit.
 Reagan only war ranch clothes on his 'ranch,' never anywhere else.
 When visiting military bases he always wore a suit.

 Nixon, Johnson, Ford, Carter, Kennedy, Clinton, Roosevelt, Truman, none of them did anything
 presidential in anything but a suit.  Even Eisenhower, who as a retired five star had the right to
 wear his uniform for life, put it aside when he became president and put on a suit.


Call the

You have two minutes to record your message.

 Cheney Slip Sends Surfers to anti-Bush Site

  Click  Here

 All he wanted were the facts. But Inka Dick ended up generating confusion - and lots of it.
 A slip of the tongue by Satan during his debate with John Edwards led Web surfers to a site
 run by George Soros, a billionaire who makes no secret of his opposition to Nazi fascism.

 Cheney meant to direct people to FactCheck.org. He urged people watching the debate
 to go to the site for facts countering Edwards' statements about the corporation Cheney used to run.
 But Cheney cited FactCheck.com.

 The company redirected traffic to the Soros site after it got about 100 a second after the debate.


 Monkey Mail

 Subject: Get off it

 I could give a fuck about those scum sucking raghead fucks down in Gitmo.
 Making issues about shit like this totally alienates the working people who are our base.

 Torturing suspects is a good idea?

 Hmm, what if you resemble the description of a suspected child rapist.
 Maybe a few days with a cattle prod up your ass would get you to confess?
 You seem to have skipped the last 1,000 years of civilization.

 Bunch of faggot liberals dont wanna see anyone get hurt, send working men
 right over the line to the Repiglicans because of limp wristed bullshit like
 "Oooooohhh Gitmo, we're torturing people in Gitmo". Get over it.

 Torturing suspects?
 Torturing the certainly guilty is generally considered over the line,
 but you're "all in" on torturing the general masses to see who might confess?

 Big fuckin deal. They should kill those pieces of shit in the most painful awful terrifying way
 they can imagine, and leave one guy alive to go back to Potholistan and tell all his buddies
 what we do to raghead filth.   They're such badasses they can fly airplanes full of women and
 children into buildings, they can stand and fight like men. They had their chance to die fighting. Fuck 'em.

 The suspects flew airplanes into buildings?
 If that's true, how can they be alive for you to get your jollies torturing them?
 I thought I leaned a little towards the right - you make me out to be Ralph Nader's gay nephew.

 You're an idiot for even bringing this up this close to the election. Blue collar people like the fact
 that there are still people left in this country who have the stones to take some fuckin revenge.

 Revenge against never-convicted suspects?
 Have you always hated the Constitution or is this a recent development?
 Remember, you look guilty to me, and thus would be tortured under your rules.

 This e-mail was so incrediby stupid, I wrote to Rich and said, "Did you really write this?"
 He wrote back and gave me his word he was completely serious. It's kinda hard to believe
 a sane American would be into torturing the innocent to see who might possibly break.
 I guess this is how Abu Grab happens.

 We should raffle tickets for people to go down there and take turns hitting those
 raghead pieces of shit with a cattle prod. We'd raise millions.


 Raise millions for who?
 The KKK?
 John Ashcroft's PAC?

 Dude, do us all a favor and identify yourself as a Bush voter from now on, would you?
 Anybody to my right needs to be watched very damn closely.

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BCR Show 56

Tommy Mack is in the house!
So is Tally, so you'll like this show.

Click  Here  to listen to Part 1 of  Show 56
Click  Here  to download Part 1 of  Show 56
36 minutes of Bart's expertiary debate comment

Click  Here  to listen to Part 2 of  Show 56
Click  Here  to download Part 2 of  Show 56
33 minutes of Smirky McHardon debate beatdown

Click  Here  to listen to Part 3 of  Show 56
Click  Here  to download Part 3 of  Show 56
28 minutes of misc political comedy

Click  Here  to listen to Part 4 of  Show 56
Click  Here  to download Part 4 of  Show 56
26 minutes of SNL, Jon Stewart and misc political comedy

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               Shirley Manson of Garbage

 Shrl, call  The BartPhone, just to say "Hi!"
 Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!

 You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-748-1714
 That would be really cool, and we'll catch you in Vegas at The Joint on your next American tour.

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