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Show 56 is Up
Radio links below
1417 - No Respect at All
Advertise with Bart - Make a profit
Wed-Thursday Oct 6-7,
Mike Malloy on AAR weeknights
"Bush and Kerry's first debate was held last
Thursday. While neither candidate
delivered a knock-out punch, polls
indicate John Kerry was the winner.
Though Bush later complained it was
because he couldn't get his buzzer to work."
Fey, Saturday Night Live
Report Finds No Evidence of Iraq WMD
Contradicting the main argument for a war
that has cost more than 1,000 American lives,
the top U.S. arms inspector said Wednesday
he found no evidence that Iraq produced any WMDs
after 1991. He also concluded that Saddam
Hussein (news - web sites)'s capabilities to develop such
weapon had dimmed - not grown -
during a dozen years of sanctions before last year's U.S. invasion.
Contrary to prewar statements by the greedy
Oil Monkey and top administration officials, Saddam did not
have chemical and biological stockpiles
when the war began and his nuclear capabilities were deteriorating,
not advancing, said Charles Duelfer, head
of the Iraq Survey Group.
The findings come less than four weeks before
an election in which Bush's handling of Iraq has become the
central issue. Kerry has seized on comments
by Paul Bremer, that Bush did not have enough troops in Iraq
to prevent lawlessness after Saddam was
The real crime here is they f-ing knew it
There was never any evidence of WMDs because
there were no WMDs.
Powell assured Eqypt and the Saudis in 2001
that Saddam was contained and powerless,
but Bush wanted top steal that oil and
Powell and the others sold their souls and killed good men.
How is it possible that Bush can
win this election now?
They keep promising "more of the same" and
all they've delievered was death and destruction.
President Kerry should put them on trial for war crimes, then
turn them over to The Hague.
"I don't want to say who won that first debate,
but today the FCC is furious
and is fining the networks for showing
the emperor with no clothes."
to give major speech
Hoping to halt the big slide, Monkey to give "major speech"
In a rare, last-minute change in the presidential
schedule, Bush has scrapped a planned talk
on medical liability and instead will give
what the White House called a "significant speech"
about the two central issues of the campaign
-- the war on terrorism and the economy.
The president is said to be eager to rebut
Kerry's attacks on such issues,
especially those that came during last
Thursday's presidential debate,
Sounds like six days after getting his clock cleaned, his team
thought of some rebuttal.
changes story, now defends U.S. actions in Iraq
Just when you think you're out - ...they pull you back in...
"I was lying, Bush is great.he knows what he's
Bush is smart, Bush is a war hero, Bush
is wise, and so is Rumsfeld.
Bush has a vision for Iraq, Bush is a united,
not a divider. Bush is great.
Bush has a bold vision for Iraq's future,
and Cheney is nice also - and great..
The citizens are luck to have two masterminds
control their future - so very lucky."
Have you ever read the story of Oedipus,
This is Shrub to a "T."
He is obsessed with outdoing his Dad, even
desires to do away with him,
because he is in direct competition with
him for Babs' affection.
Which, by the by, he will never get since
the old hag is completely incapable
of genuine human feeling, but that's an
issue for another day on the couch.
Dangerfield Dies at Age 82
"When I was born, I was so ugly that the doctor
slapped my mother,"
"When I started in show business, I played one
club that was so far out
my act was reviewed in Field and Stream."
"Every time I get in an elevator, the operator
says the same thing to me: `Basement?'"
Boy, you want to talk about a comedy legend?
I think Rodney helped create the art form, back before any of
us were born.
Forty years ago, this 11 year-old Catholic would sit in front
of the black & white TV
on Sunday nights and watch the not-so-handsome comedian tell
the funniest damn jokes ever.
My favorite Rodney joke:
He went to his wife, suspecting she was unfaithful and asked
her, "Is there somebody else?"
His wife replied, "There must be..."
Subject: Who would you
like to meet for a beer?
I'd prefer to go out for a few beers with
Afterwards I'd take him out of the bar by
the side entrance
into that urine smelling garbage strewn
side alley and explain
a few facts about his corruption and lies
in what Hemingway
would have called a dirty, poorly lighted
Mount St. Helens Live Web Cam
Subject: Show 55 feedback
I finally got a chance to sit down and listen
to the program.
I have to say you got off to a slower start
than usual but by part 2
you were on a roll and the rest of the
program came out smooth.
Tommy might be too nice to say this, so
I'll hit you with it:
the seague music was way too long.
Every topic and cut switch was like reaching
for an extra step at the top
of the stairs at a full run and finding
myself trying to stand on thin air.
Letting the intro and round up music play
out was great but stretching out seague music is a disaster.
The RESOLUTE bushiekins stuttering to answer
question was a riot. Nice work.
joe in Japan
First, Tommy is not too nice to mention that.
He agrees with you that my taste in music should be kept to the
barest of minimums.
Other radio programs have guests, commercials, sidebars, weather,
so I figure any sound that takes the place of my rat-like voice
for a few minutes can't be all bad.
Also, are any of the musical segments longer than a minute?
Is a minute really too long to wait between segments?
Radio and TV commercials are usually 3-4 minutes of explosions
and screaming car salesmen.
Dave's last commercial before the band plays is over seven
Watch him tonight - they'll play 13 commercials between the second guest and the musical guest.
If my minute of music is hard to handle, what does a block of
13 commercials do to you?
It's not like I'm asking you to sit thru the drum solo on In-a-Godda-Da-Vida between bits.
I'll be listening to the vulgar Pigboy and he'll play "Plush" by the Stone Temple Pilots and just as I
start to get into the song, he comes back spouting his Nazi race
hate and that always pisses me off.
Still, the customer is the boss, right?
I'm averaging 3-5 feedback e-mails per show, so it's hard to
get a feel for what the masses want,
but I do appreciate you bringing that up - all the way from Japan.
Thanks for listening, thanks for writing.
non-scientific vote tally
Edwards 62% 62739
Subject: Smirk's hometown
Bart (and Sam),
I heard that the Crawford newspaper, The
Iconoclast, is hemorrhaging subscribers
and advertisers as a result of last week's
editorial supporting Kerry over Dubya: Click
I live in Olympia, Washington, and just
subscribed for a year (a whopping $45).
I suggest you and your readers do the same
to support free speech and standing up for what's right.
What would you say to advertising bartcop.com
on the smirking chimp's "hometown" newspaper's web site???
A banner advertisement on their web home
page costs $100 per month. It constantly rotates through
three at five-second intervals: http://www.iconoclast-texas.com/adrates.htm.
If you want to purchase one or more of those
ads, I'm in for $50.
I spoke with Melanie (254-675-3336) and
she said they have space available now.
Let me know if you need me to send the check,
I think this would make a hell of a statement
AND maybe even get you some national press...
John, I think that's a great idea - I say "Let's do it!"
You can send that check to
PO Box 54466
Tulsa, OK 74155
from the Iconoclast
We expected that perhaps a few readers
might cancel subscriptions, and maybe even ads,
but have been amazed at a few of the more
intense communications, some of which
bordered on outright personal attacks and
We have been told by several avid Bush supporters
that the days when newspapers publish
editorials without personal repercussions
are over.When Bush was endorsed four years ago,
the Gore supporters did not respond with threats,
The new mode of operation, I am told, is
that when a newspaper prints an editorial of which
some sectors might disagree, the focus
is now upon how to run the newspaper out of business
Some individuals are threatening innocent
commercial concerns, claiming that if they advertise
in The Iconoclast, they will be run out
THIS is what happens when you fail to bow to the Illegal
If you do not return, "Heil Bush!" you cannot remain in business.
You'd think this thuggish, brown-boot behavior would even rankle
but as long as they can ride Bush's brainless coattails, they
will not speak out.
This is another reason Bush must be defeated.
Bye needs your help
FYI: I got all 44 interviews assigned already.
That was certainly quick - thanks.
Stern to Move to Satellite Radio
Howard Stern says he will broadcast his
show on Sirius Satellite Radio beginning in 2006,
after being dropped earlier this year from
several stations that objected to his humor.
By luring Stern away from Viacom, the deal
gives a shot in the arm to satellite radio overall,
a new business built on attracting subscribers
to dozens of radio stations broadcast digitally. .
Pardon my language, but fuck the FCC.
They are driving every non-mainstream act
into pay radio.
Why should any station take any chance if the word Nazis are going to fine them $1 million
if the old, white, rich bastards have a
different comedy template than the rest of the nation.
The sons of bitches who murder people for
a living have decided Stern is "dirty."
The thieves who are stealing billions from the old and the weak and the scared and the stupid
are pretending to have morals by being
outaraged at the sight of a woman's breast, but the
thousands of dead kids in Iraq is not only
a "thing of beauty," but it's also "God's will?"
Pretty soon - mark my words - HBO and satellite
radio will have all the best acts and
then the broadcast whores will call a summit
to ask, "Where did our audience go?"
I'll tell you right now - they ran towards the same freedom our
ancestors sailed towards.
Bush wants to be worshipped and anyone who doesn't can't make
a living in this country.
Fuck Bush and fuck the FCC.
Subject: Only now are you
beginning to see that Bush hates his father?
Clearly Bush is a momma's boy with a vast
unresolved Oedipal complex.
His emotional development is arrested at
the age of a 5 year old.
How else to account for his childish cowboy
personality, where the
whole world is black and white and everyone
just with him or against him.
He is a full blown malignant narcissist.
I'm not sure about the "only now" part...
I've never heard anyone say that before, maybe I'm just slow...
internet firm caught red-handed hacking?
Would the evil BFEE cheat to disrupt a website critical of
dKos12 candidate Ginny Schrader had her
The firewall "caught" Campaign Solutions,
internet firm to Bush, the RNC,
the NRCC and about a third of the Republican
caucus. Then the lying began:
told them, "Be careful when you break the law."
hope my eye doesn't start twitching.
the first sign that we're going to be exposed..."
babes are for Kerry-Edwards
"I believe the U.S. poses a greater risk to
Egypt and the Islamic world than terrorism.
If we have to have a global policeman,
it should be the United Nations, not the U.S.
What good does America do for me as
a global policeman? I might need this global
policeman to protect me if Egypt is
attacked by Israel. And you think America will
rush to protect Egypt from the Israelis,
their strongest allies?"
a software engineer from Cairo, Attribution
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Subject: The hottest babes
I was shown your website by my dad a while
ago; and I love it!
It speaks the truth about Bush. Everyday
I look forward in seeing what you have posted.
I liked the picture that you had on there
today, the one with the caption "The hottest babes
are for Kerry-Edwards" showing who I believe
to be the actress Natalie Portman.
I love her shirt, I wish I knew where to
get one like that!!
Keep up the good work,
Stephanie, that was Rachel Lee Cook.
I have forwarded your request to the "art department."
I'll bet we're selling some of those shirts in mere days,
and thanks for writing and tell your Dad that Bart says "Hey!"
...will return in the next issue.
Michael Moore's Fahrenheit
9-11 is for sale
Order yours from the BartCop Bookstore
Pigboy loses medical records appeal
Can he get as "Cupcake Prison" cell like Martha?
The Pigboy's medical records were properly
seized by investigators seeking
information on alleged illegal drug use,
an appeals court ruled Wednesday.
State investigators had raided the offices
of Limbaugh's doctors seeking information
on whether the right-wing firebrand illegally
"doctor shopped" to obtain Hillbilly Heroin
from multiple doctors. Limbaugh, 53, has
not been charged with a crime because the
investigation had been at a standstill
pending a decision on the medical records.
The court rejected Limbaugh's arguments
that his privacy rights trumped investigators'
power to seize his records and said prosecutors
did not have to notify him of search
warrants or give him an opportunity to
"I shouldn't have to give up my right to privacy
to prove my innocence. That's not the way
it works in this country," said the fascist
troll who wants to have sex with The Patriot Act.
my bunkie is black."
Subject: Can these morons
screw up any worse?
The following is a Quote from the Debate
last night between Cheney and Edwards....HAHAHA
CHENEY: "Well, the reason they
keep mentioning Halliburton is because they're
trying to throw up a smokescreen. They know the charges are false.
They know that if you go, for example, to factcheck.com (he means .org),
an independent Web site sponsored by the University of Pennsylvania,
you can get the specific details with respect to Halliburton.
It's an effort that they've made repeatedly to try to confuse the voters
and to raise questions, but there's no substance to the charges."
However, the site, Http://www.factcheck.org
does not refute Edwards' presentation of the facts.
But you see, that's the beauty of the man's
style! "You're lying, and here's an impartial 3rd party who will prove
he says, knowing full well that the majority
of the audience will never bother to check what that 3rd party actually
has to say!)
It's obvious why Cheney is President!
He can tell a whopper that everyone knows
is a whopper, but he does it with
such style, such calm assurance, that people
believe him any way!
Bush - on the other hand - looks so nervous
and shifty that even
when he's telling the truth, you think
he's probably lying.
Arianna Huffington knows where to find the truth
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No Iraq-Al Qaeda Link
Scummy Rummy said on Monday he knew of
no "strong, hard evidence" linking Saddam and al Qaeda,
despite describing extensive contacts between
the two before the Iraq invasion. Rumsfeld, during a
question-and-answer session before the
Council on Foreign Relations in New York, was asked to explain
the connection between Saddam and al Qaeda,
who were blamed for 9-11 attacks on America.
"I have seen the answer to that question migrate
in the intelligence community over a period of a year in the most
amazing way. Second, there are differences
in the intelligence community as to what the relationship was," he said.
"To my knowledge, I have not seen any strong,
hard evidence that links the two," Rumsfeld
Well then explain 1060 dead soldiers, you crazy (and now super-rich)
Subject: Brian Tracy (from yesterday's page)
Is this the same Brian Tracy that was convicted
a few years ago for molesting a 4 year
Looks like the pictures of him in the paper.,
Wow what will we find out next?...
Kauzmo, I'm not familiar with that particular case, but if we
can use history
as a guide, then Brian Tracy is almost certainly a child molester - he's GOP!
Subject: what a great picture
of John Lennon
...it still hurts.
Suzanne, it sure does.
Obviously, nobody can speak for John now,
but if he was still alive,
I'm guessing he'd have a few comments about
Bush's nasty, greedy, bloody war, such as:
"Fuck Bush, fuck Cheney, fuck
Powell, fuck Wolfowitz and fuck Donald Rumsfeld.
Those lousy sons of bitches
are killing those kids everyday just as sure as if they
snuck up behind them
in a crowded movie theater and ran a goddamn ice pick
thru the back of their
necks, the soulless buggerers! Fuck all of them!!"
Of course, that's just a guess...
Here to listen to an outtake from the brand
new, just released BCR
It's right-wing John McLaughlin giving the
Iraq casualty stats as of last Friday.
As of then, Bush caused 1055
deaths and get this:
The number of amputees,
wounded, injured or mentally ill is a staggering
Headline: U.S. Report Finds No Evidence of Iraq WMD
No Iraq-Al Qaeda Link
If that doesn't make you cry, either you
don't have a heart or
you're voting for four more years of Bush.
We saw the real Bush last Thursday
The President revealed something far darker
during those ninety minutes in Miami.
He proved that a man is never totally cured
of his addictions, and that his alcohol dependency
has transmuted into a public drunkenness
with his own power. Without the enabling of staffers
at work and the adoring audiences on the
campaign trail who shield and worship him, Bush
stammered and stumbled through a sobering
debate in Coral Gables.
was too lazy and selfish to bother preparing.
is a pathological name-dropper.
is a terrible listener.
is impatient to a fault.
Subject: Bush-Kerry debate
When I watched the debates the thought I
saw in Dubya's face was
"Goddam, if this was a dictatorship I wouldn't
have to put up with this crap!"
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Come you masters of war
You that build all the guns
You that build the death planes
You that build the big bombs
You that hide behind walls
You that hide behind desks
I just want you to know
I can see through your masks
You that never done nothin'
But build to destroy
You play with my world
Like it's your little toy
You put a gun in my hand
And you hide from my eyes
And you turn and run farther
When the fast bullets fly
Like Judas of old
You lie and deceive
A world war can be won
You want me to believe
But I see through your eyes
And I see through your brain
Like I see through the water
That runs down my drain
You fasten the triggers
For the others to fire
Then you set back and watch
When the death count gets higher
You hide in your mansion
As young people's blood
Flows out of their bodies
And is buried in the mud
You've thrown the worst fear
That can ever be hurled
Fear to bring children
Into the world
For threatening my baby
Unborn and unnamed
You ain't worth the blood
That runs in your veins
How much do I know
To talk out of turn
You might say that I'm young
You might say I'm unlearned
But there's one thing I know
Though I'm younger than you
Even Jesus would never
Forgive what you do
Let me ask you one question
Is your money that good
Will it buy you forgiveness
Do you think that it could
I think you will find
When your death takes its toll
All the money you made
Will never buy back your soul
And I hope that you die
And your death'll come soon
I will follow your casket
In the pale afternoon
And I'll watch while you're lowered
Down to your deathbed
And I'll stand o'er your grave
'Til I'm sure that you're dead
- Bob Dylan
soldier body count in Iraq
1043, 1054, 1059,
1064 dead American soldiers.
"I'm sorry I got us into this quagmire...."
--words Bush is unable to say
Brazilians are following the US elections
closely. Strangers, when they discover that I am from
the US, ask me why Bush is ahead in the
polls. People tell me that I'm okay, but they aren't so sure
about the rest of the people in/from the
US. Sympathy for the US, world-wide, is about to dry up.
The next time the US is attacked, and according
to Rumsfeld and company it's an inevitability,
there will be no outpouring of grief.
There will be no headlines like Le Monde's "We Are All Americans."
The opinion in Brazil will be that the US
asked for it. And this is a country that is basically sympathetic
to the US. How will people who are already
suspicious of the US react if W isn't replaced?
Subject: the little Monkey
I never thought shrub wanted to impress
his daddy. I always believed shrub thought his daddy
was a wimp, and Spurious George wanted
to show he was a bigger man, by taking Baghdad.
I also think little chimpy wants to show
he's a bigger man than Reagan, and start a war with Iran.
Shrub has some masculinity problems.
Notice how he likes to play dress up.
He likes to get out of the suit and put
on ranch clothes, or combat utilities, or a flight suit.
Reagan only war ranch clothes on his 'ranch,'
never anywhere else.
When visiting military bases he always
wore a suit.
Nixon, Johnson, Ford, Carter, Kennedy, Clinton,
Roosevelt, Truman, none of them did anything
presidential in anything but a suit.
Even Eisenhower, who as a retired five star had the right to
wear his uniform for life, put it aside
when he became president and put on a suit.
You have two minutes to record your message.
Slip Sends Surfers to anti-Bush Site
All he wanted were the facts. But Inka
Dick ended up generating confusion - and lots of it.
A slip of the tongue by Satan during his
debate with John Edwards led Web surfers to a site
run by George Soros, a billionaire who
makes no secret of his opposition to Nazi fascism.
Cheney meant to direct people to FactCheck.org.
He urged people watching the debate
to go to the site for facts countering
Edwards' statements about the corporation Cheney used to run.
But Cheney cited FactCheck.com.
The company redirected traffic to the Soros
site after it got about 100 a second after the debate.
Subject: Get off it
I could give a fuck about those scum sucking
raghead fucks down in Gitmo.
Making issues about shit like this totally
alienates the working people who are our base.
Torturing suspects is a good idea?
Hmm, what if you resemble the description of a suspected
Maybe a few days with a cattle prod up your ass would get you to confess?
You seem to have skipped the last 1,000 years of civilization.
Bunch of faggot liberals dont wanna see
anyone get hurt, send working men
right over the line to the Repiglicans
because of limp wristed bullshit like
"Oooooohhh Gitmo, we're torturing people
in Gitmo". Get over it.
Torturing the certainly guilty is generally considered
over the line,
but you're "all in" on torturing the general masses to see who might confess?
Big fuckin deal. They should kill those
pieces of shit in the most painful awful terrifying way
they can imagine, and leave one guy alive
to go back to Potholistan and tell all his buddies
what we do to raghead filth.
They're such badasses they can fly airplanes full of women and
children into buildings, they can stand
and fight like men. They had their chance to die fighting. Fuck 'em.
The suspects flew airplanes into buildings?
If that's true, how can they be alive for you to get your jollies
I thought I leaned a little towards the right - you make me out
to be Ralph Nader's gay nephew.
You're an idiot for even bringing this up
this close to the election. Blue collar people like the fact
that there are still people left in this
country who have the stones to take some fuckin revenge.
Revenge against never-convicted suspects?
Have you always hated the
Constitution or is this a recent development?
Remember, you look guilty to me, and thus
would be tortured under your rules.
This e-mail was so incrediby stupid, I
wrote to Rich and said, "Did you really write this?"
He wrote back and gave me his word he was
completely serious. It's kinda hard to believe
a sane American would be into torturing
the innocent to see who might possibly break.
I guess this is how Abu Grab happens.
We should raffle tickets for people to go
down there and take turns hitting those
raghead pieces of shit with a cattle prod.
We'd raise millions.
Raise millions for who?
John Ashcroft's PAC?
Dude, do us all a favor and identify yourself as a Bush voter
from now on, would you?
Anybody to my right needs to be watched very damn closely.
If Bush wins, you'll
need bartcop.com to stay sane.
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Tommy Mack is in the house!
So is Tally, so you'll like this show.
Click Here to listen to Part 1 of Show 56
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36 minutes of Bart's expertiary debate comment
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