Vol 187 - Nanook Rubs It

April 5, 2000

Typical Lying Whores

Steve Largent (R-Jesus Twin) is on K-Drag radio right now saying,
"There is no medical reason to ever have a partial-birth abortion.
  The ONLY reason to ever have one of these is to supply baby parts
  for the black market, which is illegal, but we all know the Clinton
  Justice Department record for stopping serious crimes."

...and then that religiously-insane son-of-a-bitch Michael Del Giorno said,

 "Yes, Clinton and Reno are running a chop-shop for little baby parts."

Martin Luther King was wrong....

Rush Limba Advertiser List

Here's a partial list, I can add more today.
If anyone has URLs to go with these, send 'em to me.

Administaff Services

The US Army

Blanchard Gold & Silver

Blimpie Subs

Bose Speakers and Radios
Remember, when you hear Bose,
you get no highs, you get no lows.

Carbona Stain Devil

Clean Shower

Damp Rid

Gold's Horseradish

Jiffy Lube

Joint Benefits ( web page under construction)

Lexus Automobiles


Online Investor's Advantage

Paul Harvey, horse molester
(too old for web page)


Ruth's Chris Steakhouse


Click Here  for list with URLs

Have we missed any?

 Great GOP Quotes

 "Without a doubt, Hillary paid for the jet that brought Elian's father
 to the United States. You know how I know? The ID numbers on the
 side of the jet started with, "N" and that means the United States."
   -- The lying Nazi whore, 4/6/00

 Rush is right!
 We liberals just don't have the courage to accept "proof" like that.

 Mother of All VCR Alerts Update

 I should've known better than to do that from memory.

 Also this Sunday, starting at noon...

 The History Channel is doing a six-hour documentary called,
 The Men Who Killed Kennedy.

 It's my best guess that in the last hour, they will play the Ruby film.

 This is a clear film of Jack Ruby looking into the camera saying,
 "The real truth will never come out because the people behind this
  are too powerful and have too much to lose."

 Now, they say Ruby was a nut who'd say anything.
 Maybe, maybe not.
 But how can we discount the only (then) surviving man in the loop?

Can't Hardly Wait

 ALBANY, N.Y. (AP) -- Another poll has found that Rudolph Giuliani's
lead over Hillary has evaporated in the wake of the shooting of another
unarmed black man by New York City police.

When are the debates?

"I hope they put this on pay-per-view.
 I'd give money to watch that," said Paul Begala.

Dittoes to that.
I wonder what would happen?


The Wizard of Whimsey was right about one thing.
Some cartoons can stand on their own.

 From:  corone@zdnetonebox.com

 Subject: Pigboy

 While listening to the egregious hog this morning he kept refering to
 Elian as "Alien". Probably his true feelings seeping out.

 If this wasn't a political opportunity Pig and his ditto-nazis
 would send Elian back faster than Smirk could fold a twenty.

 Paul Gill

 Quote of the Day

 From:  Sabutai@ix.netcom.com

 "Here is a man attempting to run the U.S. government and now urging
  its citizens not to comply with the mechanism the government uses to
  draw up government programs.

 Is he insane, irresponsible or just plain stupid?
 In any event, on the basis of that comment alone, he has
 shown himself to be utterly unfit for my vote."

 * columnist Bonnie Erbe, Abilene Reporter News,
   on Bush's suggestion to citizens  not to complete their Census forms.

 Bush Turns Green

  Click Here

  ha ha

Massive VCR Alert

I mentioned yesterday that the Mother of All VCR Alerts was coming.

I think, hands down, the best show on television is HBO's The Sopranos.
I've never seen a show this good in my life.
Homicide used to be the best, and others before it such as LA Law,
Hill Street Blues, Picket Fences etc were good, but not this good.

I'm not sure how they did it, besides using great actors, great writing,
great directing, interesting story lines etc, but David Chase and friends
have taken The Sopranos where no show has ever gone before.

It's my opinion that when a regular character eventually dies on the show,
grown men will weep because Chase has made these characters so real,
losing one of them will be like losing a personal friend.

Worth repeating: TV Guide says in homes with HBO, a higher percentage
of people watch The Sopranos than watch Regis's Millionaire show.

After the best first season a show ever had, The Sopranos started out a
little tame this year, but the second half of the season has been gangbusters.
If you've ever been to alt.tv.sopranos, you've seen the effects there.
They decifer REM cycles over there.
The nuances put in the Sopranos are not lost on that crowd.
There's not a show on television that inspires the loyalty of The Sopranos.

On last week's show, one of Tony's biggest enemies murdered another,
which solved a lot of problems, but, as always, more have developed.
This Sunday night is the second season finale.
The FBI sting with Big Pussy is the probable cliff-hanger.
Will Big Pussy murder the FBI sting man?
(That's my prediction.)
Will they blame everything on the enemy that was killed last week?
(The Vince Foster gambit.)

It is unmissable TV, but I'm going to have to tape it, instead.
Where will I be Sunday night?

Oh, I'll be in front of my TV Sunday night - watching something else.

Starting right now, if you want the televison thrill of a lifetime,
stay away from any advance word on George Clooney's FAIL SAFE.
This is the first LIVE television movie in FORTY YEARS.

Have you ever seen, or heard about the original movie FAIL SAFE?

This movie was made in 1964.
In 1976, I was surfing for something to watch late, late one night.
All by myself, I stumbled on FAIL SAFE.

It was interesting as all hell, so I stayed with it, all alone.
Those of you who know the movie can imagine my shock.
Those of you who don't know the movie - trust me.

This movie has a kick-ending that makes the ending of Sixth Sense
seem very predictable by comparison. Try to avoid hearing anything
about this movie until you see it live Sunday night.

Besides this VCR Alert,
don't read anything about it,
don't listen to any reviews,
don't watch Hard Copy or Entertainment Tonight until Monday
if you want to have a wild television viewing experience.

FAIL SAFE is one of the best movies I've ever seen, and I'm old.
When I first saw it cold, in 1976, I was so goddamned worked up about the
ending and there was nobody to talk to!    It was 2 in the morning and I'm
having a fit because there was nobody to whom I could scream,
 They can't!
 They can't do that!
 They can't DO that!"

(deep breaths...)

So, as improbable as it seems, I will be seeing The Sopranos finale on tape.
Thirty days ago, I could've given you 100-1 odds that nothing could
stop me from watching this last Sopranos, but this is big - really big.

Sure, I could watch The Sopranos after FAIL SAFE, but trust me,
after watching a movie like that, nothing else matters.
It's that big.

Of course, I haven't seen Clooney's version, but, as they say, "confidence is high."

Just to pile on, the X-Files is going to be a special edition, too.
Gillain Anderson wrote, directed and stars in this usual episode.
She's coming to grips with the biggest X-Files of them all,
her feelings of extreme guilt after abandoning her Catholicism.

Those Catholics, they write that code deeeeeep.

Lastly, I think Millionaire is fucking fixed.
I predict they'll give away a million that night.
If they do, it's fixed.

So, whatever you do, put on the blinders and see FAIL SAFE cold.
See it as cold as Larry Klayman's heart.

You'll thank me Monday.

The Banner thing

You could fill the Internet with what I don't know about banners.
 It's my understanding if you click on the banner, and allow it to load,
 amazon.com will send a nickle to  bartcop.com

 I'm told it's only good once a day, so consecutive clickings won't help.
 It's my opinion the  bartcop.com  page is a whole ball park better
 than the old newsletter that was sent out, towards the end, monthly.
 I think this banner option may enable  bartcop.com  to move up
 another ball park in it's entertainment value.

 If you enjoy  bartcop.com  and would like to see it expand,
 it would help to click on the Amazon banner and allow it to load.

 Koresh knows, you might even find something on Amazon you like.
 For instance, if you put "Conason" in the search box, you'll see the book
 written by Gene Lyons and my good friend Joe Conason.

 If you plan to buy a book or a CD or a DVD anyway, you could buy it
 thru Amazon and contribute to the anti-ditto-monkey  bartcop.com  fund.

 Remember, entities like Rolling Stone started out as a cheesy home-grown
 newspaper run on a showstring 30 years ago and grew and grew until it
 became a corporate giant, which is not my goal.

 If it had never grown, we wouldn't be talking about it because only
 people from Haight-Ashbury would know what Rolling Stone was.
 I need help because I can't keep up this pace.

 Let's give it a try.

 If you dislike banners, let me know.
 If you don't mind banners, give it a click and let's see what happens.
 Koresh knows when or if any money will change hands, but if it does,
 I will invest in  bartcop.com  and try to make it better.

 I know, I know...
 Tomorrow's headline will be, "BartCop Turns Whore,"
 but wouldn't it be a shame if we could've done more,
 if we could've been a contender but, instead,
 bartcop.com  remained ineffective and invisible?

 Let's give it a shot.
 Let's take the chance and see what happens.
 Maybe if it makes a splash, you'll see me on Crossfire someday.


 Très Grand le Porc Quotes

 "There's theory, and there's reality.......I have to support theory."
  -- Porky's radio show, April 5, 2000, to a dedicated ditto-monkey

 Miami's Riot-Day 2000!

 Did you see Elian's dad get off the plane?

 He was holding a baby, maybe 2-years old.
 I didn't hear the sound, but we were made to think it was Elian's little brother.

 Fair enough, but about 5 seconds after we got our first glimpse of "Dad"
 on American soil, he hands the kid off to whoever was standing nearby.
 So, the whole point was to make that first impression on us as a family man.
 I felt manipulated.
 Manipulated by a Cuban who probably doesn't own a TV.

 Hard to believe we're living in a time when the cummunist Cubans
 are camera-savvy enough to manipulate the American electorate.

 ABC just reported (9:31 CST) that Elian's dad has agreed to follow
 the wishes of the relatives in Miami, regardless of what they are.

 Is this some huge turn of events or did ABC just do their usual
 inept, bungling, half-ass hatchett job on the real facts?

 Clinton's cock wasn't involved, so backdoor Bettina Gregory
 wasn't there - they sent some other screw-loose sensationalist.

 We've got an office pool going as to how many will be injured in the riot.
 I took the 200-500.
 Those Cubans have made this battle religious, meaning it's blood city.

 More as it happens...


 Poor Rudy!
 From the way he's handling things, I'm guessing he's Catholic.

 Can anybody confirm?

April 5, 2000

 From: South's Finest Chocolatefinechoc@bellsouth.net

 Subject: Touring our chocolate factory

 Dear Bart Cop,

 You are certainly welcome to visit and tour our facility.
 We are not a very large company, but it is interesting and you will have fun.
 Let me know so I can be here at the factory location.
 We are open 9:30 AM to 6 PM, Monday - Saturday and 1-5 Sunday.
 The factory is operating M-F.

 Let us know.

 (Name withheld)

 The GOP is Only Thinkin' of the Boy

Special Thanks to Ranting Wacko for the Elian photo.

 From the Mind of Brain Smasher

 Under the YUM-Yum Tree

 Click Here

 VCR Update

 New episode of West Wing tonight.
 Zoe's friend is arrested for using illegal drugs.
 (I'll bet the GOP blames Charlie, the black guy)

 Also, Law & Order starring Angie Harmon.

 Also, The season premier of South Park.

 Also, Falcone on CBS is no Sopranos, but it's pretty good.

 Speaking of the Sopranos, the Mother of All VCR Alerts this Sunday.
 More on that later.

 Update - Smirk's Dirty Air  (see below)

 From:  dirosnic@eos.ncsu.edu

 Subject: Smirk on Pollution

 Even worse...

 Suppose California institutes higher pollution standards.
 Then polluters may very well look to Arizona to set up shop.
 So California loses jobs because of high standards,
 and Arizona gains jobs because of the lower standard.

 What a GREAT idea!
 Let's have states COMPETE for the lowest environmental standards!

 David Rosnick

 Paul Begala Shoots the Bull

 The "Showdown in Miami" continues.
 Supporters of Elian's relatives in Miami have taken the following positions:
 they won't pledge to obey a federal court order;
 they won't allow local law enforcement to carry out lawful orders they don't agree with;
 they won't commit to turning the boy over to his father, despite rulings by the INS,
      the Justice Department and a federal court that only his father can speak for him;
 they break down police barricades and darkly hint at everything from peaceful civil
 disobedience to outright violence -- all so Elian can be raised in a country
 where we respect the rule of law.

 Required Reading

 From: christian06@earthlink.net

 Subject: The GOP and Blowjobs

 As the administration of the greatest president of our lifetime winds down,
 I've been reflecting and trying to put things in perspective, and the thing
 that keeps coming back into my mind is this: Bill and Monica.
 What's the big fucking deal?
 Upon recalling the GOP's cries of Clinton's immorality,
 I ask the tried-and-true BartCop question:

 Compared to who?

 Let's face it: The Kennedy administration was one big booty call. He swam
 naked with the White House interns, for God's sake. That place was like a
 French bedroom farce, women in the shower, women under the bed.
 Gene Tierney running out of one door, poor Jackie coming in another.
 "Don't look in the closet, Marilyn Monroe's not in there!"
 And nobody said one word.

 What did George Bush have to say to quell rumours of his little 'guma'--
 "That's a vulgar question, and I'm not going to answer it." End of story.
 Now stick with me, I'm getting to something.

 Now poor Bill, on the other hand, just looking for a little relief from what
 might be considered a high-stress job. Now I've done the math.
 He got, what 15 blowjobs from Monica, right?
 And the Starr investigation has cost approximately 50 million dollars, right?
 Well, that, ladies and gentlemen, shakes out at $3,333,333 per blowjob.

 Who paid for these blowjobs?
 Bill Clinton?
 Bill Clinton doesn't have to pay for blowjobs.
 Bill's a presidential hottie, and plenty of women would be
 glad to scratch that itch for the sheer pleasure of it.
 One female reporter who accidentally bumped knees with Bill
 while playing cards on Air Force One said she'd give him a blowjob
 just for the abortion issue alone.

 So whose idea was it to pay 50 million dollars for those blowjobs?
 The American People?
 I don't THINK so.
 I, like many Americans, have checked the box on my tax return that says,
 "Check here to give $1 of your refund to the Presidential Campaign Fund."
 But I never checked any damn box that said,  "Check here to give 50 million
 dollars to the Bitter, Prurient, Oversexed Republican Party's Campaign to
 Humiliate our President fund."

 So who DID decide to spend 50 million taxpayer dollars on blowjobs?
 You guessed it.
 Trent Lott and his fabulous goose-stepping GOP.

 I bet Bill Clinton could've found lots of better ways to spend that 50 million dollars.
 Like I said, he doesn't need to pay for his blowjobs.
 But what did the party of family values spend it on?
 Blowjobs. And not even for themselves.


 Now what, I wondered, could the party of Lincoln have spent that money on
 of a more productive nature, and I came up with a few things:

 1) School lunch programs
 2) Tracheotomies for Mrs. Hines of Alma, Arkansas, and the hundreds of
      thousands of other people poisoned by tobacco companies
 3) Shoring up social security
 4) Child safety locks for guns
 5) Pens for Bob Dole to hold
 6) How about 100,000 new cops on the streets?
 7) A year's supply of Maalox to keep George Butch from throwing up on foreign
     heads of state
 8) United Nations dues
 9) Anybody remember the homeless? I bet you could build one or two housing
      complexes with 50 million dollars
 10) The Dan Quayle Brain Disease Research Foundation
 11) New barber for James Traficant
 12) I bet we all know what Smirk would do with 50 million dollars...sniff sniff...

 Yes, I'm sure there are a hundred and one worthy causes the GOP
 could've spent that 50 million dollars on.

 But what did the party of family values, leaving a trail of slime wherever
 they go, choose to spend that 50 million dollars on?


 I guess Republicans are used to paying for it.


 Smirk Needs a Muzzle

 From: jellobrick@disinfo.net

 TOPEKA, Kan. (AP) -- George W. Bush claimed victory in Tuesday's
 Kansas primary with thanks to all the voters who came out to support him.

 One problem:
 The primary was canceled back in February.

 ha ha
 (Please God, you gotta let this idiot win.)

 ''Thank you Pennsylvania, Wisconsin and Kansas,'' the Smirk said in a statement.
 The release said Tuesday's victories ''added to a groundswell of grass-roots
 support for his campaign to the White House.''

 Smirk and Al Gore coasted to victories in Pennsylvania and Wisconsin.
 But Kansas officials, citing a tight budget and probably lack of relevance,
 said, "fuck it" and did away with their primary to save the money.

 ''There's a technical term for that news release. It is called a goof,''
 Bush spokesman Ari Fleischer said today in Austin, Texas.
 Bush also claimed he won Kansas's 35 GOP delegates.

 Ed. note: The Republican Party won't select delegates until May.

 Counsel Clears Labor Secretary Herman
  By James Vicini

 WASHINGTON (Reuters) - An independent counsel said on Wednesday he
 cleared U.S.  Labor Secretary Alexis Herman of allegations she took part in
 a scheme involving cash kickbacks and the soliciting of $250,000 in illegal
 campaign contributions when she was a White House aide.

 In a one-sentence press release, independent counsel Ralph Lancaster said
 he has completed a nearly two-year investigation of Herman and that he would
 not bring any criminal charges against the member of President Clinton's Cabinet.

 Lancaster investigated allegations that Herman solicited the illegal campaign
 contributions and engaged in influence peddling while she was a White House
 aide during Clinton's first term in office.

 Clinton said in a statement from the White House: ``I am very pleased to
 learn that the independent counsel, Ralph Lancaster, has concluded his
 investigation. As I said at the start of this inquiry nearly two years ago,
 Secretary Herman did nothing wrong.''

 So, after two years of the nasty Pigboy screaming,
 after two years of Paula Zahn screaming,
 after two years of Bill O'Reilly screaming,
 after two years of Sean Hannity screaming,
 after two years of Gordon Liddy screaming,
 after two years of Ollie North screaming,
 after two years of John McLaughlin screaming,
 ...there never was anything there in the first place.

 Just like Whitewater,
 just like Filegate,
 just like Travelgate,
 just like Vince Foster's "murder,"
 just like Mena Airport,
 just like Ron Brown's "murder,"
 just like Mike Espy's "illegal football tickets,"
 just like the burial plots at Arlington,
 just like every goddamn thing
 that Rupert Murdoch and the Fox Whores have tried to invent,
 there never was anything going on besides a little tongue action.

 Of course, Susan McDougal had to do two years in a fucking hell-hole
 because Hardon Kenneth couldn't find anything substantive on Clinton,
 and we owe her for that.

 Don't forget:

 If not for Susan McDougal, we'd be in Gore's first term now,
 and Smirk would be whining about "two peas in a pod."
 If she had caved, your vote would mean a little less from now on
 because why fucking bother to vote if the majority party is just going
 to yank the winner out without any reason?

 We owe Susan McDougal BIG-TIME!

 Look at her, in those fucking leg-irons.
 You know Hardon Kenneth really had a good jerk over that one.
 She kept her cool, and she kept her dignity.

 Long-time readers know I was in the room when she gave her
 first speech since getting freed from those horrible prisons.
 Thanks toMarc Perkel, I was able to meet Susan,
 and even have a small, private conversation with her

 That was something I won't forget.
 Thanks to the next senator from Missouri.

 Suze, you're a trooper!

 An extremely rare double-shot of Chinaco for Susan McDougal.

 Slappy Continues to Whine

 "The last few weeks at the court have been very difficult," he whines.

 Awwww, poor bay-bee!
 Did Slappy get a headache trying to figure out the hard, hard cases?

 "The cases have been getting harder," he continued to complain.

 ha ha
 You poor thing.

 Hold on, let me get my world's smallest violin so I can play while you whine.
 Slappy doesn't seem to understand that he was appointed to this job,
 by a quota-conscious numbskull that was so incredibly stupid that he
 actually picked Dan Quayle to lead the planet if he were to die.

 Dan Quayle and Clarence Thomas?
 Those were the decisions President Butch afflicted us with?
 Oh, Butch, what did you DO to America?
 Now, your spoiled-idiot son wants to continue the job Daddy started.

 Is it too early for a drink?

 Gag Me!

 As I type this, Pigboy is reading one praise letter after another,
 talking about how "fair" and "honest" the lying, Nazi bastard is.
 He's whoring for a spot on Monday Night Football.

 Pigboy just said he'd be the greatest at MNF because,
 "a good announcer knows when to shut up."

 Pigboy, when have you ever shut up?
 Surely not in the eleven years you've been hated by America you haven't.

 The Methane Factory is the biggest whore in the world at this,
 even worse than O'Reilly at reading his praise mail on Fox News.

 Can you imagine what the nasty Pigboy would be like on MNF?

 One team would be the perfect, patriotic team of honesty and goodness,
 while the other team would be a bunch of hoodlums, intent on cheating
 and breaking the arms and legs of the good and decent team.

 Each time Pigboy's favored team loses, he would explain,
 with his precious talent on loan from almighty God,
 that it was because the referees were all on the take,
 cheating to help the hoodlum team defeat the good and decent players.

 ...and after all, if God gave the nasty Pigboy this talent,
 he'd never misuse that talent to lie - would he?

 Oh, God!
 Now Rush is saying he doesn't want to spend a lot of time praising himself,
 even tho that's all we've heard for the first 51 minutes of today's show!!
 El Grande Puerca, when have you ever stopped praising yourself?

 Now he's going to the phones so the callers that the screener deems are
 suffieciently grovel-worthy can heap further praise on the insecure shit.

 In this hateful moron was allowed in the Monday night booth,
 he would do to sports what he's done to politics.

 ..and that's just what we need.

 How Do You Do, Mr. Wyly?

 Sam Wyly, the Texas polluter who financed a stealth campaign in
 New York, buying $2,500,000 worth of TV time so Smirk could call
 John McCain "pro-breast cancer" and a "big-time polluter" gave a
 speech to the Climate Institute of Seattle saying he was "quitting politics."

 He said he quit because Kenneth Cook of the Environmental Working Group
 suggested a boycott of his company GreenMountain.com.

 Oh, the gall of this polluter!

 He thinks his pollution won't damage the environment
 if his web site is called "Green Mountain?"

 Even tho he's trying to slither back under his rock,
 after paying for Smirk to call McCain "pro-breast cancer,"
 I don't think the Gore campaign is likely to forget Mr. Wyly.

 And the snotty Smirk wants to make campaign reform an issue?
 After Wyly threw away $2,500,000 to help him when he was broke?

 How can we have finance reform if Smirk's rich, pollutin' buddies are
 allowed to circumvent all campaign laws by pretending they're independent?

 And what will Smirk allow this monster to do to the air and water in the
 great state of Texas to repay Wyly after he loses to President-elect Gore?

 New York Murder Rate Up 12 Percent This Year
 Headline in today's USA Today

 Actually, that headline is a little misleading.
 Techinically, murders are down slightly, but if you factor in
 the New York City police shootings, it's up by 12 percent.

 Go Rudy!

 Strange but True

 From:  dirosnic@eos.ncsu.edu

 Subject: Newt and Fidel

 Oh boy, good stuff today...

 We have Clinton called a panderer for his position on the Elian case,
 and Gore also demonized for the same,
 even though he has the opposing view.

 Gee, do you think it *matters* what position a Democrat takes?
 Or does an opinion expressed by a Democrat imply pandering?

 David Rosnick

 ha ha
 Good one, Dave

 Have You Heard?

 Hillary has done such a good job stomping this lil' kitty,
 the New York GOFP may decide their money is better spent
 by running Rep Rick Lazio (R-Rightwing loser) instead.

 This is not fair!
 I wanted to see the lil' kitty get stomped.
 Looks like that's not going to happen.
 Remember, he hasn't even formally announced he's going to run.
 Said it was "bad luck to declare."

 Yeah, that's what I'd say if some woman was beating mybrains in.

 C'mon, Rudy, fight back a little, would you?
 You're suppoosed to be the tough-as-Angie Harmon prosecutor!
 Where are your balls Rudy?
 For that matter, where's your wife?

 Once again, special thanks to JennyQ1@aol.com  for the great
 animated gif. Check those eyeballs as Hillary's shoe comes down.
 ha ha
 A shot of Chinaco to JennyQ1!!

 We know Hillary's going to stomp whoever has the malo forunado
 to run against her, but I wanted to see the lil' kitty get stomped.

 C'mon, Rudy, you can do it!

 The Wrong Chocolate

 From:  jellobrick@disinfo.net

 Subject:  Chocolate Craving Brings Thief 16-year Sentence

 A Tyler thief, whose first crime was stealing Oreo cookies as a teen-ager,
 has been sentenced to 16 years in prison for stealing a Snickers candy bar.

 Kenneth Dude Payne III's tough sentence for a chocolate craving that normally
 would have meant a shoplifting charge is the result of a life of crime, albeit
 mostly nonviolent crimes, prosecutors say.

 "I know it's kind of goofy when people look at it," said Smith County
 prosecutor Jodi Brown. "It wasn't about stealing a Snickers bar, it was about
 a lifestyle essentially. ... It was a lifestyle that he chose and has been
 choosing since he was 16 years old."

 His sentence for the December theft at a Tyler mom-and-pop store was handed
 down last month under the state's habitual offender law.

 The 29-year-old man's criminal history dates to 1987 when he was 16 and was
 first arrested for stealing the cookies.

 "He's a pain in the butt to have in your neighborhood, but he's not dangerous,"
  store owner Bob Castlebury said.

 Brown said she had been concerned the jury might feel sorry for Payne and buy
 his attorney's argument that it was only a candy bar.

 "I think he needed to be taught a lesson," Brown said. "I think that the
 community needs to see that regardless of what you go in and steal, if you
 engage in that type of lifestyle then that's what you're risking."

 This is totally insane.
 The only chocolate worth doing time for is Break Up Chocolate
 made by The South's Finest Candy Company of Knoxville, TN

 I don't know how they do it.   Maybe I should go to Knoxville
 and ask them to let me watch them make this amazing chocolate.
 This chocolate causes the pleasure centers in your brain to explode.
 If you've never tasted this chocolate, you've never tasted chocolate.

 The French and the Swiss think they're so fancy with their crap!
 They don't have anything like this chocolate.

 And, just like cocaine, it works double on the women,
 and it's so much cheaper than cocaine, too.

 If you get caught stealing chocolate made my Mars or Hersheys,
 you're probably too stupid to be on the streets, anyway.
 That idiot belongs in Smirk's compassionate, Turkish prison.
 What does it cost to house a prisoner for a year?
 Isn't it $100,000 or more?
 The state of Texas will spend millions to house this dude over a
 goddamn stolen candy bar made from inferior chcolate?

 When you steal chocolate, make sure it's The South's Finest,
 the Chinaco of fine luxury chocolates.

 They did not pay me to say that.
 I don't even get a discount from them.

 Guest Editorial

 From:  DENNISC@iadb.org

 Subject: Compassionate Conservatism strikes again!

 House Passes New Organ Transplant Bill

 The House just passed a new organ transplant bill that strips oversight
 power from the Health and Human Services Department for regulation of the
 organ donor program. The main problem is the HHS policy of seeing to it
 that the sickest people are first in line for donated organs. The House
 believes that the private company handling the organ transplants should
 decide the priority for those waiting for donated organs.

 The problem is that this will lead to the rich being able to 'jump the line'
 and get organ transplants simply because they have the money to pay to
 upgrade their place in line. The potential exists to create a bidding war
 for donated organs. Suddenly greed replaces need as the main criteria for
 organ recipients.

 Once again the poor get screwed by the GOP.

 Dennis Courtney

 Dennis, No problemo.
 The good president will veto that bill.

 Great Scumbag Quotes

"Nothing has made me more tempted to get back into public life
 than the Clinton administration's pathetic pandering to Fidel Castro."
  --  Newt (3-wives) Gingrich, threatening to comeback over Elian
       during his Live Online discussion at washingtonpost.com

 Can anybody tell me what that means?
 I keep hearing "Clinton's horrible pandering."
 Is it because Clinton suggested the courts handle this court matter?

 Anyone have a clue what "pandering" is in this case?
 Or is this like, "Clinton won't prosecute gun laws,"
 yet no Republican can explain what that means?

 Please, God, let Newt come back.

 Smirk's Dirty Air

 From: dave@landru.dac.uga.edu

 Subject: environmental policy?

 Dear Bartcop,

 This is from the LA Times:

 Delivering his most detailed remarks so far on the environment--a traditional
 preserve of Democrats and an area of particular concern to Al Gore--Bush said
 that states, working with business, should have a freer hand in policing the health
 of their local communities. The key, he said, is increased flexibility--including lower
standards in some cases--and fewer mandates coming from the federal government.

 "The command-and-control structure out of Washington, D.C., won't work," said
 Bush, speaking at a U.S. Gypsum plant being built on the site of a former steel mill
 outside Pittsburgh. "The idea of suing our way or regulating our way to clean air
 and clean water is not effective public policy."

 Does this logic suggest that current polluters are destroying the
 environment out of spite? Just wondering.


 Poor Smirk,
 He's scared and he's lying like a six-year old who broke a lamp.
 He makes stuff up.
 There are so many ways to attack this bullshit:

 First, of course control needs to come from one source.
 That's why Smirk has only one campaign headquarters, instead of
 letting each of the 50 states decide which Smirk message to promote.
 Power is always centralized to promote efficiency.

 Pizza Hut, Holiday Inn, Microsoft, Wal-Mart etc. have just one home office.
 To suggest that every state should have different levels of pollution,
 could only come from an on-the-take idiot who's letting runaway industry
 destroy the state to which he's been entrusted to protect.

 Second, everyone wants cleaner air and water.
 If DuPont wants to come in my state and hire 5,000 people, and they're going
 to dump one barrel of oil into our local river a year, that's OK with me.
 But if they're going to dump 50 barrels each day, for 50 jobs, it's not.

 Tell me, Smirk, how many jobs this this create?

 If it was less than 10,000,000 jobs, I'd say Smirk has taken the Texas air,
 kidnapped it, tied it up, thrown in the trunk of a car, driven into the woods,
 forced it to walk to an old mine, slit its throat and buried it in a shallow grave.
 There's a thing called logic and common sense that Smirk can't grasp.

 Besides, what's to prevent Texas from locating all their polluting industries
 on the Louisiana border so they suffer the consequences, instead?
 Republicans love to ignore the fact that we are the UNITED states.
 If Smirk can make some money by screwing Louisiana, I think he would.

 And, if we don't make the polluters pay fines for breaking the law,
 (lawsuits) what enforcement tool does Smirk offer in it's place?
 Is he going to ask profit-oriented companies to "do the right thing?"
 Some example Governor Blow Monkey is showing them, right?

 Good thinking, Smirk.
 Yeah, let's make this election about education and the environment.

 ...and where can I place my wager?

Smokin' Joe Conason is rapidly becoming a great writer.
Check it this very small piece he wrote about a slut you may not know.
Of course, my good friend Joe's manners are better than mine, but when
someone teams up with Rupert Murdoch to lie, cheat and distort for money,
I can't think of a more descriptive term than "whore."

Click Here

Good work, Joe.
Every piece of your work that I've seen or read has been superb.

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