A Cold, Dead Rehearsal
by Anonymous
A Pillar is Published
Christian Mitchell
who helps keep bartcop.com afloat
has a death penalty column published over at http://www.onlinejournal.com
Click Here to see the excellent article now,
Click Here
when it's rotated out.
Christian is the Dr. Melfi of Team Bartcop :)
From: excallq@yahoo.com
Subject: Cuba
On Thursday, the House voted 301-116 to
ease restrictions on the embargo of Cuba,
allowing food and medicine to be sold to
Cuba. Tom DeLay (R-Davidian) said
"It's the first time I have really been
ashamed of the House of Representatives.
I mean, this is a ruthless, murdering
dictator in Cuba, and all the food will go through him,
and he'll use that food and medicine as
a tool to continue to oppress his people."
WTF?
What's he going to do, torture them with
bananas and
bonk them over the heads with aspirin bottles?
ha ha
We need to get out of the hate-Castro business.
Fuck Castro.
His most valuable currency is his status as a thorn in our side.
As Smirk might say, we should give them a whiff
of life in America.
If we opened the flood gates, and let Eminem and MTV and Victoria's
Secret
and Nike and McDonald's and Levi's and that little chalupa dog
get on Cuban TV,
his stupid little island would fall before Christmas.
That sex, drugs & rock & roll genie is a bitch
to put back in the bottle.
Think of the tales Elian is telling his friends right now...
ha ha
Karl Rove, Smirk's top campaign advisor, says he has "no idea"
who's on Smirk's VP list.
That's obviously a bald-faced lie.
If Smirk were to win, (I know, I know) shouldn't he promise
not to hire any bald-faced liars for his cabinet?
...besides Smirk Daddy's CIA buddies, that is.
Have you noticed that Al Gore's "comback" in the polls
almost exactly coincides with this "fucking Jew bastard"
offensive?
The more time Pigboy and Trent Lott and Fox News spend on "F-J-B,"
the higher Gore gets in the polls because the America voter is
scared
of the Nazi right and their "destroy at all costs" style of governing.
Think what would happen to privacy in this country if Smirk was
elected and
this "peephole congress" was allowed to run wild, grabbing at
liberal cocks.
(shudder)
Remember - Clinton wasn't impeached, his cock was.
Reporter: But Cheney has had three heart attacks!!
Smirk Spin: Sure, but that was like, ...twenty
years ago!!
So, he's outgrown his heart troubles?
Germany Warns of Nazi Web Hit List
BERLIN (AP) - Neo-Nazis are targeting left-wing
representatives and
foreigners for attacks by publishing lists
on the Internet with their names,
addresses and photographs, German justice
officials say.
Well, we know that's not true, because Rush (who never
lies)
has guaranteed his followers that the leftists
are the real Nazis,
and that would mean the Neo-Nazis are attacking themselves,
which doesn't make any sense.
So, why is Germany lying to us, Rush?
Goodbye, Kathie Lee
Take your over-exposed hooters and those screaming brats and go away.
You know what else I'm tired of?
"Al Gore really, really wants to be president.
He'll say anything to get elected.
He really hungers to be president."
It's never a bad idea to use the old BartCop staple - compared to whom?
That idiot, the unqualified Smirk, is going to spend over $100,000,000
trying to convince people he's not as stupid as everybody says
he is,
so why doesn't that demonstrate that he will say/do
anything to be elected?
This is another Pigboy-ism that has gotten out of hand.
Most everyday, he says some extremely-stupid shit such as,
"The liberals are desperate to get the House and Senate
back,"
as tho the GOP had only a passing interest about staying in power.
That's horseshit - pure and simple.
I'll admit both sides want to win very, very much, so why can't
they?
What kind of idiot would deny that their side wants to win?
ha ha
I guess Rush just answered that question.
From: radiofreenorthpole@hotmail.com
Subject: Chasing Ben Stein's Ghost
Bart, I think you're gonna have to suck it up on this Ben Stein thing.
1) I went to the Tulsa World website and couldn't find anything.
I should not be held responsible for your inability to find things.
2) Why would Stein say his sister died?
That's the
biggest clue this is a hoax...sloppiness.
Yes, sloppiness on both our parts.
Read the first thing I wrote.
"I'm doing this from memory."
When we find version #2? it reads, "My
sister and I went to my father's funeral."
I remembered "sister," instead of father
- don't sue me.
It was the back-stabbing tone
of his column that pissed me off,
not the detail of which family member
died.
3) I can't find this article on your website anywhere previous to today.
Don't know exactly what you mean.
I've gotten multiple mail asking, "so
when you gonna tell the Ben Stein story?"
Everybody else has seen me trash that
prick in past issues.
From Vol 189: "Have You Ass Home by 11" my homage to Richard Pryor.
>There's only a few people I'd spend the night
in jail for.
>Judas is one, Ben Stein the dirty cock-sucker
is one,
>...Pigboy, obviously,
>but there just aren't that many who've pissed
me off this much.
That was from April 11.
April 11 would be considered "previous to today,"
right?
From Vol 190: "Great Ceasar's Ghost" my homage to George Reeve's unsolved murder.
Subject: Ben Stein
What's your beef with Ben Stein?
Just curious,
Lee
>Lee,
>That son-of-a-bitch makes me so goddamn angry
I can't type.
>I will explain soon, but first I'll have to
put up the mother of all
>warning labels because it will set a record
for extreme invective.
>I'd like to break his fucking capped teeth,
the prick.
Then there was the light-hearted jab from Vol
210: "Zombie Wolfe,"
my homage to the great
Frank Zappa.
>HBO's critical darling ``The Sopranos'' earned three
nods.
>NBC led all networks in total nominations, picking
up 12 mentions.
>Winners will be announced Saturday, July 15 during
a ceremony at the Ritz-Carlton
>Hotel in Pasadena, with bus-stop-bathroom oral sex
specialist Ben Stein set to host.
>Stein paid $40,000 and blew 140 critics and Frasier's
dog to land the coveted hosting job.
...yeah, I've mentioned him a few times.
I could go on, but you seem like a sharp fella...
4) I personally haven't read Ben Stein
ever
call Clinton names like that
...I'm a regular
at American Spectator.
ha ha
Of that, I have no doubt.
Maybe Stein doesn't use his show to bash Clinton
- I don't know,
but his columns read like Pigboy, Harvey, Medved,
Greenburg and Maureen Dowd.
5) You can't find the article.
You're correct on that one.
I didn't expect my HD to crash.
I have half-a-hundred "back-burner"
stories, it was one.
Next time, I'll save the article until
it's printed.
It would be nice if 226 issues in
writing gave me some credibility, but I understand
I'm up against Drudge, Fox News, Pigboy,
O'Reilly, Hannity, Laura, Falwell, and the rest.
Tell me, of those seven, who has searchable
archives?
Pigboy always says, "Mark my words."
How?
I'm not afraid to put it in writing,
where it can be examined and re-examined,
- but where is their record?
6) He denied writing the article 4 times AND pointed out the most glaring inaccuracy.
Horseshit!
He denied everything, with a "whatever could
you mean?" attitude,
yet Version #2 is much more critical
than Version #1.
I'm guilty of not knowing how many different
versions he wrote?
7) Why is whoever wrote to Stein asking for anonymity?....sounds suspicious to me.
Guessing where you're going, I can't say.
But if you wrote and said, "Don't publish
my address,"
I would respect that, even if you were attacking
me.
I've had others say, "I wrote to Stein &
got the same answers,"
but I can't remember if I printed that or
not, but that sounds consistent.
And, "What's a bartcop?" sounds like a real
quote.
In a court of law, you'd
be looking at some serious problems with
cross-examination and evidence.
ha ha
In my dreams!
In a court of law, I'd subpeona every column he
ever wrote and just pick it out.
Possibility: Are you certain it was Ben Stein that wrote the article?
You're right.
Maybe it was Frank N. Stein, and my tumor mixed
the two up.
Trust me, I'm having a very difficult time trying
to keep up with Nazi whore shinanigans
from 25 different sources everyday. I have no desire
to pick out some innocent
Hollywood never-was to start a big time-consuming
fight.
I have a goddamn Nazi convention on my hands in the
next 7 days and I have to
break my exclusive and possibly biggest-scoop-of-the
nineties story before that,
so Stein needs to hurry up and confess so I can
get back to history in the making.
From: Skewthat@aol.com
Subject: Name Smirk's Plane
Air Pollution One
Hose Nose One
Air Jesus
Air Fascist One
Al Gore Won
From: dr.bomb@usa.net
The Name Recognition Express
100% Stinger-Free!
The Silver Spoon
Oil Whore In-Flight
Rub A Dumb Dubya
Sponsored By GE, Bringing Jet Engines, Russert
And Dubya For America
(War And Artillery coming soon!)
(paint the jet like a flying dildo with
this painted along the side of it:)
"Fuck McCain!"
Thanks For The GOP Vote and FUCK AMERICA Express:
The REAL Straight Talk Is Right Here,
'Nam Boy!"
(maybe paint the plane for that one
too)
The Snowblind Behind
(or, the "coked ass")
Air-Busto One
The Phallus Express: Brought To You By The NRA & McDonnell Douglas
The Jack Daniels Express: Bringing A Campaign As Toothless As His Constituents
Or, better yet, an idea: Just sticker the motherfucker
with every goddamn one of
Dubya's "sponsors" like a Goddamn redneck
NASCAR vehicle!
Besides, Dubya finds NASCAR to be a very "family
values" kind of "sport."
From: pearly@politics.com
AIR DUMBELL B.
From: JDWRods@aol.com
the blowmonkey express
From: seanog@metconnect.com
What about "Silver Spoon?"
From: excallq@yahoo.com
Another Plane Smirk Won't Be Winning Any Wars In
The One Thing In Texas Higher Than The Governor
500 mph, fast enough to run from a debate
with Gore
From: booradley@postmark.net
Daddy's Money
I'm going to ohio.
Save me.
Elissa
ha ha
From: uberfem13@juno.com
Frat Boy Express
He-Man Woman Hater's Klub
The Penis Extender
Kegger One
Morons In a Can
Klueless Kreeps for Khrist
From: NABISO@aol.com
Air Coke Spooner
From: hardison5@hotmail.com
The (F)Lying Eightball
From: William_Aston-Reese@ScotiaCapital.com
Blowflake One
From: firstdog@whitehouse.gov
The Snow Mobile
.
From: fyalpha@aurora.alaska.edu
Subject: willowtalk.exe
If a bartcop reader with a macintosh has the free iCAB browser
then
you simply tell icab to speak page, speak selection, etc. and
with
i have to say vastly better speech than you can get at
present on windows.
md
the only one i know of that works with the Keychain sytem too
(which lets you use one password for multiple net site passwords
i think it is www.icab.de or something
David Pennell
From: pcd02@gnofn.org
Subject: Cheney as Shrub's Veep
BartCop;
Dick Cheney being tapped as Shrub's running-mate does not surprise
me in
the slightest. We all KNOW that a Shrub Administration would
actually be
run by Daddy and Daddy's old Pentagon/CIA buddies, and Cheney's
in with
that bunch up to his eyeballs.
Dick Cheney would be the conduit for the power behind the throne,
and it
would be Bush-the-Elder running things behind the scenes just
like he was
during the Reagan Reign of Error.
McCain's just a smokescreen, and both Ridge and Keating would
be useless
*if* what I think is what's laid out. Because we ALL know that
if Shrub
were elected, he would NOT be the one calling the shots.
--Zontar
Whoring Pays Well
From: mshemo@hotmail.com
Subject: The Good People At Natrol
StopDrLaura.com
has brought to light an interesting aspect of Dr. Laura's
recent "call to action" to thank her sponsors.
Natrol just happened to be
the first sponsor she chose to thank. Dr.
Laura announced that she was
"going to make another break with tradition
and read some commercial copy on
the air" for products that she has "personal
knowledge of and can truly get
behind." She had already taped a commercial
for a Natrol product, which she
endorsed on the questionable grounds that
she uses a different Natrol
product (not the one she's pushing). She
says she knows the people at
Natrol, and they're "good people." It may
surprise you to learn that the
first half of that last statement isn't
a complete lie, even if the second
half remains a matter of opinion.
As StopDrLaura.com points out, one of those
"good people" -- Kraig
Kitchin -- has served on Natrol's board
of directors. Kitchin is a
co-founder and the President/COO of Premiere
Radio networks, which
syndicates the Dr. Laura show. I looked
at Natrol's last proxy statement.
Kitchin joined the Natrol board in 1999,
and was up for election last month
for a three-year term. As a director, Kitchin
is eligible for grants under
Natrol's "Amended Option Plan": incentive
stock options, non-qualified stock
options, stock grants, "performance share
awards" (the grant of stock upon
attainment of specified performance goals),
dividend equivalent rights and
stock appreciation rights. During 1999,
Natrol granted to Kitchin options
to purchase 5,000 shares of common stock,
all of which vested as of May 31,
2000. As of May 1, 2000, Kitchin was the
beneficial owner of 25,000 shares
of Natrol common stock (including 5,000
shares which he could purchase
within the next 60 days if he exercised
his options).
Do you suppose that Dr. Laura's personal
endorsement of Natrol products has
anything to do with Kitchin's likely concern
about the value of Natrol common stock?
ha ha
Does Howdy Dooty have a wooden Tom Delay?
Dr. Laura's so grateful to the "good people"
at Natrol "for hanging in there
with me through tough times," that she
urges her listeners to buy Natrol's products.
What's "good" for her must be "good" for
her credulous fans - though maybe
Natrol's products aren't quite as safe
and effective in promoting all-around
well-being as a million dollars a month.
Margaret Shemo
From: michael@ciswired.com
Subject: Mural madness
"The side of a building owned by PMA Capital
Corporation in downtown
Philadelphia is slowly being transformed
into a tribute to the Underground
Railroad, the clandestine network through
which abolitionists smuggled
runaway slaves to freedom in the years
preceding the Civil War.
Anti-slavery sentiment was the galvanizing
force behind the GOP's formation in 1854.
The party's first nominating convention,
held in 1856, took place in Philadelphia."
They have to go back to 1856 the last time
a black woman had any association
with the GOP. I'm waiting for the Strom
Thurmond memorial mural to go up.
If they want to harken back to their glorious
past
maybe they should paint a mural of Willie
Horton as a tribute to Poppy.
ha ha
Drug Laws Suck
thegline.com knows best
From: jhessert@earthlink.net
Subject: SMIRK THE SCAB
News from our good friends
at SAG/AFTRA
I don't know how much coverage the Actor's
strike against the ad agencies
has gotten in the rest of the country,
but it is one that a lot of folks
feel VERY strongly about out here in LA
(as you can imagine).
Scabs are VERY not welcome.
The issues are so cut and dry on the union's
side that even
Chuck "The Only Good Liberal Is A Dead
Liberal" Heston
is out there on the picket lines with the
peasants.
Click here to see Chuck destroying
Capitalism:
http://www.sag.org/
Stars Picket McDonald's In Studio City
http://www.sag.org/strike/branch_photos/la/mcds2.html
Next pic is Moses embracing SAG President,
William Daniels, for the cameras.
http://www.sag.org/strike/branch_photos/la/mcds3.html
Middle pic is Chuck actually in the picket
line. ...Picketing...
It's just beyond comprehension.
So what does Smirk, everybody's favorite billionaire "Man of the People" do?
You guessed it!!
The idiot's shooting A NON-UNION COMMERCIAL.
In SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA.
ha ha
To make it that much more convenient for
the CNN crews to catch a ride
with the million pissed off celebrities
who will rush out of the Al Gore fund raiser
they were all attending to shut down Smirk's
union busting butt!
Gee. I wonder how many celebrity endorsements Smirk's gonna get after this?
Greenland's Thinning Ice Signals Global Warming
WASHINGTON (Rooters) - The massive ice sheet that
blankets
much of Greenland is thinning rapidly around
its edges,
a key sign of global warming, a NASA scientist
said on Friday.
But that can't be!
Rush gave us his talent-on-loan-from-God guarantee
that global warming was some liberal trick!
So, why are all the scientists lying, Rush?
They say Smirk is going to decide this weekend.
The latest wild rumors is that it's Dick Cheney, the dude he hired
to find somebody.
Is that how that works?
Smirk: "Find me the best guy."
Cheney: "Why, that's me!"
But, ...that screech harpy Lynne Cheney who used to be on Crossfire
caused poor Dick to have THREE heart attacks.
Does America need a VP with a history of serial heart attacks?
Can you say, ...President Gephardt?
Let's help Smirk name his plane
From: jhessert@earthlink.net
$500,000 and a big wet kiss will get you a lucrative job in the cabinet! Ask me how!
Animal House
The Bodinemobile
Daddy Went To The White House And All I Got Was This Stupid Plane
The Double Dutch Bus
Granny Killer 1
Ignorance Is Strength Through Joy
Juntos pedemos (go to http://www.smudgereport.com if you don't speak Spanish)
The Marrakech Express
Plutocracy R Us
Reichmania 2000
Serial Killer Airways
From: ChrisNoSt@aol.com
Heir Farce One
From: astod@frontiernet.net
air force, not!
white line express
awol airlines
party hardy air
airhead one
"your name here" call 1-800-noseblow
From: (withheld)
Barry Seal Cocaine Train Plane
From: hudson_todd@hotmail.com
Georgie Dimwit's name-my-plane contest is
down.
Has your political sabotage been a factor?
ha ha
Koresh, I hope so - maybe he'll try to sue me!
But before they 86ed the contest, I got a few names in:
Nigger-Drag Express
Lethal Injection One
Dirty Air Express
Houston Smog Cloud Tour 2000
Daddy's Money Bought This
"This-Plane-Wouldn't-be-so-Goddamn-Expensive-to-Operate-if-we-Could
-Eliminate-Clean-Fuel-and-Other-Pesky-Environmental-Regulations"
2000
From: bolexy@home.com
Subject: RE: Stein
I went through some of the old American Spectator web site articles....nothing there.
Are you sure Stein wrote this?
Brian,
Version #1 was from SPIN Magazine,
version #2 was in USA Today
version #3 has yet to surface.
But the only thing I know for sure is what I read myself on a dead tree.
From: watsmata4u@monmouth.com
Subject: Laura's plea
The good "doctor" will be spotlighting one of her loyal remaining
sponsors
each week at www.drlaura.com.
Now each week, we can surf over there
and conveniently notify the spotlighted sponsor that we will
not being using
their product as long as they advertise with the snotty bitch.
Thanks for the help, Laura.
Does Al Gore read bartcop.com?
Republicans argue that the recovery that led to today's boom actually
started
under Smirk Daddy, nearly two years before Clinton took office.
And many
contend that Reagan started the current good times in 1982 with
his tax cuts.
Earlier today, Gore told the AFL-CIO that the Republicans say
of the current
prosperity, ''Well the American people deserve the credit for
this.''
''Well, of course they do,'' Gore said. ''It's their hard work
that's done it,
but don't you think they were working hard back in 1991?''
ha ha
Laura the Martyr Begs to Stay on the Air
Did you hear her opening minutes today?
(Tape delayed in some markets)
Laura the Unloved opened her show saying advertisers were
dropping like flies and in order for her to stay on the air,
those fans with a "passionate love" for her needed to contact
her advertisers and support them and buy their products,
to guarantee that she'll be here tomorrow."
Laura, you're a whore, now get out of here...
HOW TO BE A GOOD LIBERAL
By Laura the Martyred
Whore
1.You have to believe that the same teacher who
can’t teach 4th graders
how to read is somehow qualified
to teach those same kids about sex.
Sure, that sounds real cute, in a ditto-monkey sort of
way, but how does it
stack up with asking the federal govenment to teach your
kid to pray?
2.You have to believe that guns in the hands of
law-abiding Americans are
more of a threat than US nuclear
weapons technology in the hands of
Chinese communists.
What a cheap-ass shot by a wealthy woman who can't buy
a clue.
Nobody is worried about the "law-abiding"Americans,
you lying slut.
It's the teenage serial killers with no criminal
record that scares most parents.
And if you're worried about China getting our technology,
ask them which administration gave them the SS-88
technology.
Hint: He couldn't remember the names of his
cabinet members.
3.You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
Horseshit!
Federal funding for the arts is for crap like poetry,
ballet, opera,
and all the things no normal consumer would ever pay for.
4.You have to believe that global temperatures
are less affected by
cyclical, documented changes in
the earth’s climate and more
affected by yuppies driving SUVs.
Where did you get your degree in environmental hazards?
Kootie Univeristy?
How does an un-educated woman like you get a degree in
anything?
Why do you think more smog is healthy?
Weren't you once an advocate for children?
Why does today's USA Today says Houston's air is UNHEALTHY?
Have your precious Deherrychekye suck on a tailpipe, then
we'll talk.
5.You have to be against capital punishment but
support abortion on demand;
in short, you support protecting
the guilty and killing the innocent.
Most liberals are pro-choice, then anti-murder.
Most Cro-Mags are pro-life, then embrace murder
with baited breath.
So what's your point?
6.You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
No, the question is, what would business do to the
consumer if nobody
was big enough to hold them to any standards at
all?
7.You have to believe that hunters don’t care
about nature,
but some activists who’ve
never been outside of Seattle do.
Jesus, these are getting too stupid to answer.
8.You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
Oh, just go to Hell.
9.You have to believe that the military, not corrupt politicians start wars.
See number eight.
10.You have to believe the NRA is bad, because
it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
11.You have to believe that taxes are too low,
but ATM fees are too high.
12.You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and
Gloria Steinem are more important to
American history than
Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.
13.You have to believe that the only reason socialism
hasn’t worked anywhere it’s been tried,
is because the
right people haven’t been in charge.
14.You have to believe that parades displaying
drag queens and transvestites should be
constitutionally protected
while public display of religious images should be illegal.
15.You have to believe that illegal political
contributions by the Chinese government
are somehow in the best
interest of the United States.
I shouldn't have even started this.
I'm arguing with a dead fucking turtle.
This has to have been written by a oxygen-starved Hannity fan.
As long as multi-millionaire whores are raking in more and more
millions
by spreading nutty shit like this, we'll always be at each other's
throats.
I think we were safer when the USSR was missles pointed at us.
Important Stuff
The King Releases All-Inclusive Box Set
Richard Pryor, the funniest son-of-a-bitch
of all time, is releasing
a nine-CD box set of the funniest shit
ever said into a microphone.
The set will be available October 17th
That "African American" is Still Crazy:
Good Shit From the Vaults
includes all seven of Pryor's albums plus
more, for only $79.
"His impact is so profound on so many people
from comics to musicians
to regular Joes to cheap-ass IQ-of-64
internet wannabe imitators,"
says Jennifer Lee, Pryor's ex-wife and
current manager.
"Richard hasn't been replaced," Lee said.
"Chris Rock is probably the closest - and
he's great - but he's not Richard."
Ediotr's Note: Dittoes
Important Stuff
From: angie_anthony@bradv.com
Subject: Tequila
Shortage
Liquor
makers face new controls
Tequila is derived from God's silvery-blue agave cactus
TEQUILA, Mexico -- Guard your Chinaco, boys, the good stuff's gettin' scarce.
In the past five years, tequila has grown
in popularity to the extent that
supply cannot keep up with demand. Last
year in Oklahoma alone,
nearly 2,000 gallons of God's Nectar were
sold.
Alberto Curis, the head of Mexico's Chamber
of Tequila Producers,
said demand has exceeded all projections.
Because tequila production depends on one
plant -- the silvery-blue agave
cactus -- and because that cactus grows
only
in the Mexican state of
Jalisco, increased demand has wreaked havoc
on farmers' fields.
Agave grower Angel Gonzalez said a shortage
is inevitable.
The cost of new agave plants is expected
to rise,
but growers like Gonzalez also see opportunity
in the situation.
"It is making us stronger," lied Gonzalez.
It also is increasing industry regulation on the liquor's production and availability.
Agave growers soon will be issued "smart
cards" that can be read by a computer
in Guadalajara. The cards will help industry
authorities monitor usage of the plant,
and estimate how many of the agave remain
available.
The controls also are designed to keep tequila
counterfeiters from being
able to market their products, made outside
the tequila region, as authentic.
ha ha
You guys need a tester?
Tequila producers hope that cooperation between Agave growers
and distillers
will protect the product's value, which is projected to soar
along with demand.
Should you put your Chinaco in a bank vault?
Not yet, maybe.
But you can expect to pay more for it.
Purina Dog Chow Absolves
Clinton-Reno in Waco Siege
By Andrew Stern
ST. LOUIS (Rooters) - An outside investigator
has completely absolved
Clinton and Reno of wrongdoing in the
Waco matter, saying Vern set
the blaze and shot his own children in
the head.
Purina says he is "100 percent certain" Clinton-Reno are innocent.
Click Here if you want to read what sane people knew seven years ago.
ha ha
How long will it take that shit Klayman to sue Purina?
From: GOPBias@aol.com
Subject: The Russert Demise
Do you want to see a pompous media type wither before your very
eyes
...before a classic man's man?
Watch the full videotape of the collapse of Tim Russert on the
7/16/00
Meet the Press...which full hour program Russert confided to
intimates
would virtually end the 2000 campaign of Albert Gore - - a prospective
result which a "conservative" effort itwo hundred years ago had
intended to keep Thomas Jefferson out of the 1800 White House.
Well. Imus and Russert cancelled their on-air 7/17/00...back-up
7/18/00...radio and television dialogue designed to crow about
the demise of
the political career of the Vice President. The reverse took
place...and
whether Russert can survive...is an open question.
For the details of the Russert fiasco...the Thomas Jefferson victory
in
1800...the bogus charges lodged against Jefferson in 1800 by
"conservatives...and against Albert Gore by the hapless Russert
in 2000 - -
for all of these...key in republican bias on Yahoo...click search...and
click
on Republican Bias in the Media.
Alternatively...just click on http://members.aol.com/gopbias ...updated 7/21/00.
Gopbias Group
Did Rush's sainted daddy steal his "Signers" essay?
Thanks to Bushwatch.com
Stein Can't Dance
I got this from MR_William@KCLIBRARY.ORG
Taken from a USA Today article March 15, 2000
Let's call this Version #2
Shining through the flaws
Soon Clinton will be gone from elective
office. Pundits will ponder why the
man, with all of his moral baggage, was
able to engage so much of the
American public so positively for so long.
I suggest that it might be simply
because even though he has many flaws --
and I still would not vote for him
-- he has a certain warmth, generosity
of spirit, even a kindly quality of
friendliness that shows through the mistakes
and the lies.
Yes, the economic boom, the stock market
and low inflation had a huge amount
to do with it. And, of course, Clinton
was not friendly to the travel office
people or to Paula Jones or Linda Tripp.
But in some cases where he did not
need to be, where his grace notes were
not even public, he showed a lot of
heart. I suspect I am not the only one
who has seen it; more importantly, I
have the suspicion that Clinton's heart
might even be real.
Now, that's a tacky shot, IMO, but not enough to set me off.
Either way, it's a far cry from version #1:
And I think that was the classiest move
I have ever seen in my life,
and I don't think I will ever say another
critical word about him.
I am so humbled by what a classy gesture
that was,
I can't get quite get it out of my head.
I was quite literally moved to tears
by it and still am -
I carry the letter around with me everywhere
I go
I'm so, so moved by it.
No mention of "the flaws," "the mistakes" or "the lies" in that
green paragraph,
proving that version #2 was more critical of Clinton than
version
#1.
But in version #1, he says "I will never say another critical
word about him"
so version #2 was written first, or Stein's word is no
good.
I'd still like to get my hands on version #3,
AND,
why would he need different versions of the same event?
...and Ben,
you didn't need to be a tacky slut,
and you didn't need to play Tommy Dimwit when called on it.
McCain Denies Everything
John McCain has denied telling Gov. Baby-Killer he is interested
in
becoming Smirk's vice presidential running mate.
"I did not tell Governor Ridge that I was interested," McCain
told CNN
late Thursday. "My conversations with Gov. Baby-Killer are private.
It was a private conversation. I've had several, because we are
friends."
McCain did not, however, explain the skirt he was wearing.
Interesting...
http://www.benstein.com says his mailbox is "temporarily disabled."
Funny, it was working just yesterday...
ha ha
From: (withheld)
During the first hour today, Rush was talking about how campaigning
and lobbying for a job in public and through the media is a sure
sign
that someone has no class.
The executives at Monday Night Football agree, Capt. Oink.
From: blonde_redhead00@hotmail.com
Subject: Ben Stein and other stuff
Hey Bartcop,
I noticed the guy who wrote to Ben Stein
went up on your site.
I just wanted to mention that I got the
same first two replies when
I wrote asking him about this.
Stein insists he did not, so I'm wondering
if you can point me
somewhere that has the column you are quoting.
Is it on a Web site anywhere?
I'd love to throw it back at him and see
what he says.
Regis
Regis, thanks for asking.
Swear to Koresh, what I wrote was true.
Stein is trying to cover his tracks.
Let's pretend this is a Perry Mason episode:
Assume I'm telling the whole truth, because I am.
If we operate under that assumption, what do we have left?
The longest column we've found so far is from 12/2/99,
and Stein says his father died 8 days ago, around Thanksgiving.
If we eliminate the impossible, that I'm wrong on this,
(I can be wrong on stuff, but not this time, not on this)
and if we eliminate the unlikely, that Stein is actually insane,
then we're left with the following assumption:
He got the note at the funeral, went home, wrote the column
trashing Clinton and sent it to his publisher.
When the column came out, his friends told him that was a
very, very shitty thing to do to a the most powerful man on the
planet that was reaching out to him during his grief, and at
that point
he repented and vowed to talk nice about Clinton from then on,
THEN gave the SPIN interview where he cried about Clinton's note.
There's too much coming up in the next few weeks to let this be
a distraction,
but when I say something is true "Swear to Koresh" I'm
telling you it's no gag,
and the FACT that the original column is out there floating around
somewhere
and he later recanted, doesn't get him off the hook in my book.
If he had said, "Yes, I said it and I shouldn't have," then case
closed.
I can forgive a sincere apology, but for Stein to play "Tommy
Dimwit,"
when he knows good and fucking well that he's guilty pisses me
off.
In closing, there is no mistake on my part.
I'm not mistaking Stein for someone else. The similarities in
the story prove
that we're talking about the same man and the same event.
Maybe someone will remember, I've been seething about this for
months.
I'd heard Stein's name before, and didn't even know he was a
Nixon speechwriter.
I just thought he was a Bruce Willis-type Hollywood scumbag with
an opinion.
But when he wrote that shit AFTER the funeral, it was too much.
I had Mrs. BC transcribe the entire column into my computer,
and my HD crashed before it got written and the original paper
is gone.
Just for clairification, here is the gist of my charge:
Stein got the note, and instead of printing what he said in the
SPIN interview,
he trashed Clinton in no uncertain terms, saying,
"I guess even the lowest of the low can have a good streak buried
deep."
The trial lawyer in me would like to pose this question to him:
"Mr. Stein, would you agree that anyone who would trash the president
under
these conditions I've described is an unconscionable asshole,
yes or no?"
That way, he's sunk when the column surfaces.
From: piratecorps@onetel.net.uk
Subject: McCain, Smirk and the Convention
Perhaps McCain is offering to be Smirk's
running-mate as he knows that
Smirk's going down when all the facts about
him come out over the next
few weeks, and he wants to make sure he
doesn't have any opposition to
him becoming the Presidential candidate?
Maybe it would be worth
someone checking out what the GOP rules
are if the Presidential nominee
has to withdraw from the race after the
convention - does the
running-mate automatically become the nominee?
Good idea.
McCain may be reminding people there IS
an alternative
when Smirk's mug shots start appearing
everywhere you look.
Second, I haven't had a chance to look at
the GOP Convention site, but
if you can put any name on the banner,
why not add the name of one of
Smirk's 130 victims to the banner? It's
be fun to see his face when
he's presented with this banner and sees
the names of Ricky Mcginn,
Karla Faye Tucker and others on there.
That's if he recognises them, of
course. Is there a list of all his victims
out on the web somewhere.
That is a great idea!
I'll bet there's a list of Smirk victims
at bushwatch.com
"Dear Gov. Compassion,
These flames are really hot on my Christian
ass."
signed,
Karla Faye Tucker, burning in
Hell
ha ha
If Smirk agrees to debate on Letterman,
will they each have to come up with a Top
Ten?
How about a tribute to Gary Hart on Smirk's plane - Blow Monkey Business?
ha ha
Nick
Who said the English aren't funny?
(I did, but I take it back.)
Letterman News
CAMPAIGN 2000, STARRING MARIA POPE: Maria reports that Al Gore
has gladly accepted Dave's invitation to debate Smirk on the
Late Show.
Just name the date and time. Dave is a bit startled at how quickly
Al Gore
has gotten back on this request.
How 'bout George W?
Maria says she has not heard back from Smirk.
Dave asks America, "Do you want a President who doesn't return
calls?"
Now that we have Al Gore locked in,
the only thing holding back the event of the year is Smirk.
Will he accept the challenge?
Well, if he doesn't,
Dave promises to make the next few months a living hell for
him.
Until George W. accepts, the Late Show will do nothing but
Smirk jokes,
so if he knows what's good for him, George Walker Bush will get
on the horn
and say he'll be right over. To the delight of everyone except
Paul since he knows
nothing about politics, Campaign 2000 is back on the political
campaign trail.
This could get good.
This could get real good, and it makes Dave must-see TV.
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