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Volume 390 - The Raspberry Express

 January 23, 2001

Check my Numbers
 These are guesses, from memory.

 The GOP said there were about 22,000 gun crimes committed (over a certain period)
 but Clinton was so soft-on-crime, the feds only prosecuted SIX people.
  (Those are the numbers I remember. If I'm wrong, correct me)

 Over the next period, Smirk would seem to have only three options:

 1. The Smirk administration will either prosecute an extra 22,000 people for gun crimes
 2. Crime will suddenly drop 99.99 percent, OR
 3. Smirk will be soft-on-crime and only prosecute a tiny handful of gun criminals

 Somebody should mark this, and we'll come back in a year and check Smirk's record
 of being tough-on-crime for those 22,000 gun criminals.

 I'm calling them out.
 I say the GOP is full of lying SOB's.
 I say whatever reason Clinton didn't have his feds chasing those gun crimes (if they existed)
 will be the same reason Smirk uses - which means they were lying all along.

 I don't know, this is just a quess.
 But trust me, gambling on GOP crookery ain't even gamblin'...

 Remember when Frank Gifford got caught?

 Pigboy kept saying, "I'm not defending what he did," and then defended what he did
 for the next fifty-nine minutes of each hour for a week.

 "Isnt it awful when the tabloids trick you into doing something you didn't intend to do?
 "Frank's a good guy, a good family man."

 Rush gives Gifford a pass for cheating because he has an "R," after his name.

 But Jesse? No way.
 Jesse has a "D" after his name.
 So when Jesse cheats, it's a whole different story.
 Rush doesn't say Jesse is a good family man.
 No, that's not what he does.

 Rush hires professional actors to do the "dumb nigger" voice
 with the "dumb nigger" speech patterns and sing "dumb nigger" lyrics
 about how he's intentionally harming black people for more power.

 This way, Ruish can make fun of "those people" to millions of people
 as he hides behind the excuse of political free speech.

 Rush doesn't give a fuck.
 He's making trips to the bank.
 The conscience of the right isn't even a believer.
 Christ - he never voted for Reagan, "because the line to register was too long."

 Rush's only job is selling gasoline to uneducated, right-wing, whites-only fire-starters.
 If Jesse Jackson can be made into a threat and demonized, Rush will be needed
 more than ever to guide us through panic, murkiness, tumult and despair of "race mixing."

 ... and God loaned this bastard talent?



Mr Raspberry,
I need a moment, please.

I have a humor newsletter - but sometimes I get serious.
I thought your Jesse comments were unfair, selective and one-sided.

Please take a minute to read this.
I only used about 200 words.

Can you stand up for yourself as well as you stand down for Jesse?

Thanks for the moment,


 Ready to get sick?

 New York Times Stresses "Legitimacy" Over Democracy

 Click  Here

 The front page of the New York Times showcased stories like
 "Bush, Taking Office,  Calls for Civility, Compassion and 'Nation of Character';
 Unity Is a Theme" and  "Proud Father and Son Bask in History's Glow"

 But it didn't find space to mention the most striking feature of the 2001 inauguration:
 that it occurred amidst widespread and angry protests rejecting the legitimacy of Bush's
 claim to office, the likes of which have not been faced by any modern president.
 Along the parade route, he was confronted by signs with messages like "Shame,"
 "Bush Lost" and "Hail to the Thief."

 The London Guardian (1/22/01) reported that the inaugural parade
 "fell well short of being triumphant, and on many occasions during its slow advance
 through the drizzle, the sound of jeering drowned out the cheers."

 This is more proof that America's whore press is winking at Smirk's illegitimacy, and will not
 ask any tough questions about his arrest record, going AWOL or that 15-year old pregnant girl.
 If Gore had taken office Saturday, the sub-headlines would've been
 "Gore begins term under dark cloud of suspected wrongdoing."

 I liked the Times better before Matt Drudge became boss.

 See this?

 Probably the finest example of architecture in Oklahoma,
 the Boston Avenue Methodist Church is a K-Drag landmark.

 This month, their natural gas bill was $13,000.
 Good thing we elected some oil & gas men, right?

 Things worked so much better under Clinton.
 Now we have power shortages in California,
 crumbling stock market,
 Chrysler on the verge of collapse,
 an epidemic of layoffs nationwide with worldwide ripples,

 ...and President Blow Monkey says all we need is a tax cut for the super-rich.

Dan Gets Slapped
  (original e-mail below)


Subject: Dan's ditto-monkey letter on

I sent "Dan" a little slap on the wrist:

>Bye bye socialist, over taxing, athiest, tree humping, baby killing,
>homosexual, wild beast loving, lying unholy Democrats.

>Please stay out  of our white house forever.
>I'm glad I voted, this election proved every vote counts and mine sure did.
>It makes me feel great.  Bush gave a  good speech, don't you think?

>Bye, good riddens, chow


Funny, I thought that the White House belonged to the American people, not you or your party.
The speech was good as far as parrots go.  But then you would think so since your obvious
grammar and spelling errors do you in.  Athiest is spelled Atheist.

I expect that you meant riddance, not "riddens" (what the hell's a riddens?) and Ciao not "chow".
One is an Italian farewell, and the other is slang for food.

You left out hyphens between over and taxing, wild beast and loving, tree and humping,
baby and killing.   You also forgot the comma after lying.  Maybe if you are lucky,
Smirky can throw one of those vouchers your way so you can go back to school.

At least buy a dictionary (you know; a dik-shun-air-y).
Doesn't it piss you off that a socialist, over-taxing, atheist, tree-humping, baby-killing, homosexual,
wild beast-loving, lying, unholy, person has to give you spelling and grammar lessons?

Tell me; how do YOU spell potato?

Laurent Jean

ha ha

Smirk's Turn

NEW YORK (AP) -- It's the Bushes' turn for the Kitty Kelley
treatment. The author of racy best sellers on Nancy Reagan, Frank
Sinatra and others will write next about the current president and his family.

``With the inauguration of George W. Bush as the president, the Bush family
has unparalleled international power and influence,'' Kelley, who is receiving a
seven-figure advance from Doubleday, said in a statement Tuesday.

``Their history is an all-American story filled with rich and
complex characters who brought them to the forefront of the world.''

Kelley is known for writing unauthorized, often scandalous
biographies. Her most notable assertion appeared in her book on
Nancy Reagan, when she implied that the first lady had an affair
with Sinatra. President Reagan said the book contained ``flagrant
and absurd falsehoods'' that ``clearly exceed the bounds of decency.''

Kelley's next book, currently untitled, is scheduled for publication in 2004,
when President Bush presumably would be running for re-election.

``She'll leave no stone unturned,'' said Stephen Rubin, president and publisher of Doubleday.
``Kitty is always able to ferret out great sources.''

I've read her Sinatra book and her Reagan book.
She says Sinatra had men killed.
She says Ronnie raped a starlet back in the forties.

Was it any of our business?
No, because those "crimes" didn't involve Clinton's cock.


Subject: Professional Courtesy

    I listen to Rush Limbaugh  much as an eavesdropper listens to his victim.
There is a slightly perverted satisfaction when I hear him say something that he thinks no one
will pay much attention to.  It almost seems at those times that he is speaking only to me.
This is my cue, when the glaring hypocrisy begins to manifest itself like a symbiotic
life form around my cerebellum, to take notice as the farce is about to begin.
     The item that has gotten my attention lately, has been his claim (OVER AND OVER)
to the idea that Bill Clinton will not observe the unwritten law of professional courtesy by
not criticizing his predecessor prior to the passing of one years time. I may have missed
the moment, but I have yet to hear an, "I told you so!" as of yet regarding this claim,
and we all know he will open the show with that claim, should Mr. Clinton prove him right.

This is where the fun starts.

Today,01-23-01, just moments prior to the end of hour two, Rush quoted (did not play
an audio tape) Mr. Bush from his public statement to the press this morning. When queried
about his intentions concerning his plan for school vouchers, his reply contained the phrase,
"I am not going to worry about my legacy."

To which Limbaugh, obviously overcome with joy added, "Slap, slap,slap!"
Adding colorful grunts and squeals at the end of his little romanticinterlude with fantasy,
to show his approval. I do not know if in fact Mr. Bush said this himself or not,
as stated above, there was no audio tape, only the hosts knows if this is true or not.

If so, why is this so called, "professional courtesy" not extended in the other direction?

Considering what a gracious and honorable man Mr. Limbaugh has tried to sell Mr. Bush
off as in the recent months, you would think this courtesy was a fore-gone conclusion.
Unless of course Mr. Limbaugh made the whole thing up, but that would fly in the face
of his," truthful" image. If not, he in my opinion again finds himself on the horns of a dilemma.

Liar or hypocrite?
I am satisfied with either.

What will Rush talk about now that Bill Clinton is out of office?
So far it has been the same topic he shames the liberal media for not letting go of... Bill Clinton.
There you have it, liar and hypocrite, all rolled onto one harmless little fuzz-ball.
Rock on...


 ha ha

 The look of Slappy's face is priceless.
 He's knows he's Tony's Cabanaboy, and he hates himself for what he did to his people.

 This is sure to anger everyone

 It's Marc Perkel's rant against Gore and the Gore campaign.
 It's spooky how close Perkel's opinions are to mine.
 (Sabutai was the same way - we agreed on 98 out of 100)

 I might've avoided using the MF word for Gore,
 but maybe Marc was worked up (like I get) when he wrote this.
 Every other word but the MF could've been written by me.

 Perkel's basic theme was "Why won't Gore fight?"
 He seems to hit it right on the button.
 Moving away from Clinton, like the Demos did in 1994,
 was a fatal mistake that Gore can think about for the next 30 years.


 If you disagree, write and SAY something.
 Don't write and tell me I'm a bad man.
 Think about your reasons - stand up - make your case

The Best Show on Television
 by Christian Livemore and Stephen Sacco

 Click  Here


Subject: picture

Cute little picture of President Bush and his daughter.
You are sick bastards.
BTW, we have control of Congress and the Executive Branch.

ha ha ha he he he who who who.

If you don't like it here, why don't you move to Europe or Cuba.
You'll be happier over there with there policies and we'll be happier here without idiots like you.

Craig Carroll

p.s. Your site looks like a 7th grader learning html created it.

Damn, thanks for the compliment.
I have an IQ of 64  (4th grade education)
so I'm performing waaaay over my head.

Please write again soon.
I love the praise mail.

 Did we ever figure out who this was?

 The Raspberry Express
  Rush's favorite black columnist enjoys condemning his own,
   while giving the rich, white playboy a free pass.

  Click  Here

 Laura the Unloved has alluded to possible OTHER NUDE PHOTOS of herself.
 There may be additional photos of her straddling a camera lens naked.
 (Click Here)

 In her third hour, she said "since Jesse had a child out of wedlock,
 there's no telling how many more children he's had out of wedlock."

 This is interesting news.
 The lesson we learn from Laura the Teacher?
 If you've ever done anything (like straddling a camera lens for your shack-up stud-muffin
 while you were married to another man) then, Laura says, you're probably guilty of more,
 undiscovered indiscretions, but she did not immediately confess her additional misdeeds.

 Extrapolating her "logic" further, Laura may have had more than two abortions.
  Isn't it amazing what you learn when using their rules?

 Since Jackson is black, the all-white GOP must attack him.
 It's never been about the truth - it's about selling commercials to Aryan Supremacists.

 Since the truth about Jackson is not sufficient, Laura and Rush and Harvey and Hannity
 must stretch the truth and include possible multiple indiscretions in their never-ending effort
 to turn the molehill into a bigger and bigger mountain because Jackson is black.
 And they wonder why they lost over 90 percent of the black vote?.

 How do they explain this loss?

 "The niggers are too stupid to vote the right way."

 "Let them use coathangers."
   -- Smirk's attitude

 Click  Here

 This is why I tried to get the women of America to wake up.
 I was unsuccessful, with my tiny hammer.

 I just got snail mail from George Magazine wanting me to re-subscribe.

 Do you think they don't know they're going out of business?
 I've already told them I wanted no part of their cock-hunting horseshit,
 so I suppose they simply ignore their reader feedback.

 But why do they want me to re-subscribe to a dead magazine?
 Could it be they are money-grubbing ...corporate whores?

 I wish the Senate Democrats would  Go Here

USA TODAY says supermodel Christy Turlington is engaged

I forget the loser's name she's marrying, but if history holds true,
it'll be a heroin-addicted member of Motley Crue or some magician-ice-fraud.

Rockers and magicians, never struggling comedy writers...

ha ha

I got some of these bumper stickers from my man Ted over at
and I put one on the bumper of Vic the Racist's Oldsmobile.

He doesn't know it yet.
I believe he'll pass bricks when he finds it.

 Unconfirmed True Quotes

 "You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend."
     -Yasir Arafat, on going to war over religion


Subject:  This IS A GREAT DAY

Bye bye socialist, over taxing, athiest, tree humping, baby killing,
homosexual, wild beast loving, lying unholy Democrats.
Please stay out  of our white house forever.
I'm glad I voted, this election proved every vote counts and mine sure did.
It makes me feel great.  Bush gave a  good speech, don't you think?

Bye, good riddens, chow


 Conservative rage vs. liberal guilt

 Click  Here

 This is a dangerous time. We have a president who takes great satisfaction in having presided over about
 150 executions while governor of Texas, more than the previous three governors of that state combined.
 Despite the mounting evidence that many innocent people have been executed, George W. has no doubts
 that every last one of those people deserved to die. The moral burden does not weigh heavily on our new
 president. "Guess what?" Governor Bush asked the television audience during his second debate. "The
 three men who murdered James Byrd, guess what's going to happen to them? They're going to be put to
 death." (Actually, only two of the three received the death sentence.) The Chattanooga Times editorialized,
 "The triumphant look on his face was chilling...."

Salon Feedback and Killer Toons

Click  Here

From: (withheld)

Hi Bartcop.

Did you see where Nader and Michael Moore were in D.C. for the
demonstrations? They don't get it, do they? I remember reading somewhere
that being oppressed was like lying in a ditch with a truck on your leg. You
don't want someone to measure the truck and write a book about. You don't
want M. Moore doing a film about how awful it is to have a truck lying on
your leg. You don't want Naderites pranching around at a rally in solidarity
with poor you lying in the ditch with the truck on your leg.

What you want is the frigging truck off your leg.

To me, President Clinton and the Democrats have been doing their best for the last
eight years trying to get the truck off  America's leg. The truck being the stupid and
destructive policies of the Reagan/Bush years. It takes time and patience to move a
heavy inert object. It's like changing a tire. You have to keep pushing down
on the jack to lift the car.  And now Nader and Moore are trying big time to
drop that truck right back down on the nation's leg again.

They have something akin to Munchausen by Proxy syndrome. That's when
a parent deliberately hurts a child in order to get attention and sympathy.
That's partly it. Also, they have that smug lefty attitude that theirs is the only
way to solve problems. That a pragmatic moderate like Clinton has done far
more for "the people" than anything they have ever done must really wax
their shorts. So, expect the two of them to be in pig heaven for the next
four year. Now they can demonstrate in front of the cameras, and rant and
rave and speecify and it won't solve a damn thing or gain a single victory.

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 Read the  Previous Issue
 It had everything - Jailhouse wheelin' and dealin', babes and Mr. Peabody.

 Copyright © 2001,
   Thanks for the fumble, Dude.

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