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This is a test.
I'm going to try to say something semi-intelligent
and see
how long it takes before someone repeats in on
television.
Wait a Minute!
Last night on Politically Incorrect, the Republican woman
said
it wasn't fair for unions to take union money and give it to
organizations
that they didn't specifically approve of, such as the Demoncrats.
But Smirk the Idiot wants to take MY tax dollars and give it to
scam artists
who are SELLING fear and shame to the easily-fooled?
Yes, I'm talking about the churches - the organizations
that are selling the fraudulent lies
about the invisible beings who demand obedience or we will all
burn in Hell for eternity.
Hey, you can always quit a union if you don't like what the union
bosses
are doing with your dues, but I'd have to leave the country to
prevent
MY tax dollars from going to these liars, frauds and hypocrites.
TAX the CHURCHES!
TAX the BUSINESSES OWNED
by the CHURCHES.
-- Frank Zappa, First Amendment
Enthusiast
Besides, to quote a certain wild-ass radio whore, "Who's money
is
that?"
You're going to take MY money - at gunpoint if necessary,
...and give it to who?
I don't want one thin dime of MY money going to the ghost-selling
charlatans,
but because the yellow-bellied Democrats have no balls,
I may not have a choice.
Yes, we're all living in John Ashcroft's America now.
Great Braindead Quotes
"Tom Cruise's major concern is the welfare of their children."
The couple separated in December, the filing said. On Monday,
the couple blamed
"difficulties inherent in divergent
careers," for keeping them constantly apart.
...and the idiot wants to share custody of the kids?
They're breaking up because they never see each other.
I wonder how honest they were with the adoption agency?
"Oh, we always spend lots of time
together.
We put our kids first - then
our careers."
He wants to live in Hollywood, she wants to live in Australia.
Those poor kids.
Put Ye No Faith in Bush’s
Ministers
by Joe Conason
Excerpt:
Bearing in mind that the original promoter of “compassionate
conservatism” in the
Bush camp was campaign strategist Karl Rove, it seems likely
that the Office of
Faith-Based Initiatives will soon become a highly effective
patronage scheme. That
assumption is confirmed by the new administration’s reduced
emphasis on such
traditional executive-branch operations as the Domestic Policy
Council, the Office
for Intergovernmental Affairs and the Office of Public Liaison.
Despite all the
feel-good assurances offered to justify the new partnership
between church and
government, it would be a mistake to forget that Mr. Rove more
closely resembles
Boss Tweed than St. Francis of Assisi.
Betty Bowers has seen Hannibal
Bush Welcomes Democrat to Cabinet
President Bush formally welcomed a Democrat
to his Cabinet Thursday,
watching as Norman Mineta was publicly
sworn in as Secretary of transportation,
-- the New York Whore Times reports
Hey, nobody ever even heard of this guy before.
Norman Mineta?
Who resigned and left him this job?
Norman Mineta is the biggest Democratic name The Thief could snare?
Hi, I'm Tina, BartCop's 
girl, reminding you that
your contributions could help the BartCop Hammer hit with
more force.
When the Smirk/Ashcroft takeover is complete, you may wish
you had
a bigger hammer back in 2001, before the fascists got too
big to stop.
You can send it by Claven to PO Box 54466, Tulsa, OK 74155
or if you have a credit card, you can click
on Tina.
That's her job.
Confusing Political Quotes
The White House is trying a bit of budgetary
magic to make room for Bush's
planned tax cuts, treating last year's
pork projects as spending that won't occur again.
-- The Whore Street Journal
Isn't that strange?
Why would the Whore Street Journal start telling the truth?
Maybe money means more to them than their whoreness.
Maybe they know Smirk's idiot plans will screw up the economy
and cause a big crash on Wall Street, so they're being honest?
...for once?
Let's ask the folks on Gilligan's Island...
Rumors continue to swirl as to why Tom Cruise and Nicole
Kidman split after 10 years of marriage.
Religion was not
a factor, a publicist for the actors said.
People Magazine speculated it was a dispute over Cruise's adherence
to Scientology
and her background as a Roman Catholic.
On Monday, the couple blamed ``difficulties inherent in divergent careers'' for keeping them constantly apart.
"Scientology had nothing
to do with this, a spokesman told People magazine.
"They are not being
controlled. They are not
being counseled.''
ha ha
I wonder why they keep telling people they're not being controlled by the wacko Scientologists?
Cruise, 38, is a devout Scientologist. Kidman, 33, was raised
Catholic
but has referred to her beliefs as a "mishmash" that includes
"some Scientology."
...so who in the world let this couple adopt kids?
Taxing My Patience
by Maureen Dowd
This is easily the silliest sentence ever written on bartcop.com.
It sounds doubly-silly because it's true.
Tomorrow, Scary Perry is meeting (separately) with bartcop.com
publicist, Ms. Livemore
and the TV syndication people in New York to stick their toes
in the syndication waters to see
what the temperature might be for starting production on a syndicated
BartCop TV show.
ha ha
That sounds so stupid.
I hope they bundle me up with Laura the Unloved.
No, wait, she's a big loser!
ha ha
Can you imagine BartCop TV?
What would I do with a budget?
What would I do with a staff?
What would I do with competent help?
Are there laws against fine, luxury tequila on TV?
We expect nothing to come of this - I mean I don't know if I'd
want to do business
with a company who saw this website and wanted to turn it into
a TV show.
Scary Perry asked me to put together an outline of what the show
might be like,
and after a few attempts, I said "fuck it," and told Perry to
just show them the page.
bartcop.com may be the least intelligent dot.com
on the www, but it's pure BartCop,
and I don't want to do some TV show that isn't real. I ain't
puttin' on some damn pink tutu
for anyone, so if they don't like it the way it is, they
can blow me. Besides, if I keep growing,
in 400 years I'll have an audience as big as some shows on UPN,
so I don't really care.
...but then again, I'd have a really big hammer.
Sidebar:
(Just between you and me?
Scary Perry told me if he was going to sink his money into this,
I had to promise him
that I would "pound those fucks Hannity and Rush" day after day after day.
I think I can do that -ha
ha.
He says the ultimate goal
would be to goad Hannity on TV every day until he agreed to a debate.
That would be more fun than
Thursday nights with The Bird.
Swear to Koresh, he made
me promise to pound Hannity - day after day - or he's out.)
I guess we'll know something by Sunday night, unless they laugh
in Scary Perry's face
and he's too ashamed to call and give me the bad news, ...but
even then, the report from
Ms Livemore should be worth a read. She's a very
talented writer.
Wish me luck!
Great Smirky Quotes
I spoke with Yasser Arafat and reiterated
our support for
a just and lasting peace between Israel
and the Palestinians.
This is a lie.
When Arafat and Barak met in Maryland last summer, Smirk sent
word to Barak
that he'd better not make that deal. Then he sent Ariel Sharon
on his little
"harmless stroll" that caused the last six months of increased
violence.
It's so much easier to sell higher gas prices when bombs are blowing
up
civilians every day in Israel.
We getting screwed by Smirk n Dick and BIG OIL.
How many thousands of people will die so BIG OIL can make
those extra billions?
Freedom From Religion
The wall between church and state is crumbling in this country, writes
Ellen Willis in The Nation,
and it's not entirely President George W. Bush's fault. Bush's recent
creation of a federal office to
provide public funds for "faith-based" social services certainly challenges
the church/state divide;
however Willis claims that it's earnest centrists and liberals who
are helping the President and the
Christian right do their dirty work. Who's to blame for all of this?
Willis traces the eye of the storm to the 2000 Democratic ticket itself.
"Rushing headlong from the
mythical anti-Clinton backlash," she contends, "Al Gore and Joe Lieberman
did their best to outdo
the Republicans at religiosity." Gore emphasized his born-again status
as a Christian, and Joe Lieberman
--speaking as a Jew--got away with statements that would have sunk
a Christian Republican.
And, the Democratic constituency, which went along silently with the
tactic
in hopes of winning office, is now paying the price.
As the Marc Rich pardon hearings start to heat up,
(I can't wait. Please God, let Clinton testify)
From Tamara Baker
Subject: John Dean debunks GOP hype RE: Marc Rich
I was never his biggest fan. He turned on Nixon, Haldeman and
Ehrlichman only out of motives
of self-preservation and not from any altruistic desire to have the
truth become known about Watergate.
I sort of hope that someday his general role will be served by Lucianne Goldberg, another for whom I am not a fan.
But regarding the pardon of Marc Rich, it ain't nobody's business anymore,
and congressional hearings
on the subject are PURE troublemaking with absolutely no potential
legislative purpose whatsoever.
Dan Burton is the most irresponsible member of congress of them all,
and that is a particularly competitive field.
Here he is again, coming once more to the aid of his country.
http://writ.news.findlaw.com/dean/20010202.html
Excerpt:
"The case involves many disturbing features,
but at its core are transactions, which were not criminal.
It [the government] employed an unprecedented
use of RICO that resulted in the defendant's capitulation,
without trial, to the government's charges.
We know that we have a heavy burden in satisfying the U.S.
Attorney that he should reexamine this case.
We know that the task of persuasion will take time and
resources. But the circumstances of the case,
the consequences of its outcome, and the extraordinarily
important questions of criminal law enforcement
it poses, justify considering such a review."
Obviously Jack Quinn was able to present this case to a president who had the legal background, not to mention quick intelligence, to make his own assessment, and reach a conclusion that called for mercy.
Republicans whine and Republicans bitch: "Our rich are too poor, and our poor are too rich."
Visit the http://evictresidentbush.com/ homepage and here.
The Fabulous Pump Room story
ha ha
The Big Thief
says he wants his wild daughters kept out of the spotlight.
Hey, Smirky - you might try keeping them at home when they're
drunker n' shit.
From: jbhigdon@townsend.com
Subject: Marc Rich
BC:
There is an aspect of the Rich case that we all
are ignoring.
Does Iran/Contra and "October Surprise" ring
a bell?
Consider this:
1. The Bushes and the Cheneys make their
big money in oil.
2. Cheney's chief of staff was also involved
in trying to get Rich a pardon.
3. Rich's oil trading with Iran times mysteriously
with "October Surprise" and Iran/Contra.
4. According to Robert Parry, there were
significant promises made by Reagan/Bush to keep
the 52 American hostages
in Iran until after the 1980 election. Secret trade in oil was likely
part of that deal.
5. During the time of Clinton's impeachment
trial it was reported that the Iranian government, seeking better
relations with the US,
was offering Clinton information on October Surprise that could lead to
a
congressional investigation
of the Reagan/Bush administration regarding that issue.
Essentially, they were
offering the smoking gun.
6. There is no way that Clinton could release
that information, and have it be credible at any time
between impeachment
through when he left office. He simply would have been accused of
obscuring
his own issues,
and practicing the politics of destruction.
7. The DOJ was skirted in regard to the
Rich pardon.
8. Although Clinton issued the pardon,
he left Rich open to civil liabilities for all of his crimes should he
return to the US.
9. Any American citizen that was victimized
by the terrorist government in Iran during this period can draw a link
to Rich by claiming
that the terrorist acts were financed by illegal deals with Iran, and can
sue Rich.
10. Iranian officials can be called to testify,
and many of the officials in power in Iran at the time (i.e. Bani Sadir)
have previously
offered proof of October Surprise. Sadir is currently in France,
I believe.
Why do you think that Ashcroft is now making every effort to prevent Rich from coming back into the country?
Jim H.
Please, God, let this happen.
Let Dan Burton go hog-wild crazy and subpoena Bill Clinton.
Please God, when he testifies, let Clinton be in a "fed-up-with-you-motherfuckers"
mood.
I'll take off work, get a bottle of Chinaco Anejo and
sit in front of my TV
and watch as The Master vindicates himself for nine years of
horseshit.
From: edofarrell@worldnet.att.net
Subject: Smirk's Dashboard
"A warning light is flashing on the dashboard
of our economy.
We need tax relief now. In fact, we need tax
relief
yesterday. And I will work with Congress to
provide it."
- Smirky the Thief
We used to call those lights 'idiot lights' because
they were designed for people too ignorant to read a gauge.
Apparently Mr. Bush has just become aware of
the reality of the economy.
Mr. Greenspan's unprecedented emergency interest
rate cut in January was a gauge he couldn't read.
The threat to his tax cut is apparently the flashing
light that finally tipped him off.
Idiot light, indeed.
Last Night's TV
Survivor is so obviously fixed.
If nothing else, what would happen if one team lost 4 immunity
challenges?
Then it would be four against eight and that's no competition.
It's more fixed than the rape we witnessed in Florida.
...and y'know, out of 402 issiues, the sentence I'd like to take
back the most
was the one where I said Kimmie was the good-looking girl on
that island.
I didn't think I was that enibriated after the Super Bowl, but
I musta been.
The C.S.I. was very, very good.
They continue to knock out one excellent show after another.
I haven't seen the Friends/SNL yet, but the TV Guide said it
was about
Rachel turning 30, and funny, Jennifer Aniston turns 30 today.
I intentionally didn't watch ER last night, because the
TV Guide said
Stretch Cunningham, the bishop, was coming back to torture Dr.Kovic.
Koresh forbid ER talks about Catholicism and I mention
in here.
Hillary's mysterious bridal registry
And other myths a biased and credulous press corps has created around
the Clintons' exit.
...one of the best gorings of the whore press you'll see.
Wounded witness: 'Puffy' fired gun
NEW YORK (AP) - A doctor testified Wednesday that
a woman told him "Puffy" had shot her.
Dr. John Perrotti said he was working the ER
on Dec. 27, 1999, when Natania Reuben was brought in
with a gunshot wound to the face. "She was somewhat
upset and excited," Perrotti said. "She was very anxious;
she was very nervous; she was speaking out loud;
she was in some pain." Perrotti testified that Reuben said she
had been shot inside a nightclub, and that she
told him, "I was shot by Puffy." Perrotti said Reuben "just blurted it
out."
Reuben testified Monday that just before a bullet
hit her like "a flaming hot sledgehammer," she saw Combs and his
rap protege Jamal "Shyne" Barrow fire guns during
an altercation at Club New York.
But she also testified that she did not know
who had shot her.
What a stupid mess.
I'm not Puffy's defense attorney, (and he's probably guilty) but you
can't convict a man
because you think he's probably guilty.
The idiot prosecution says Puffy fired ONE SHOT into the ceiling, then
they have
a doctor testify what some hysterical woman said?
The idiot prosecution says Puffy fired one shot into the ceiling, yet
they have to bullet
and they have no shell casing, even tho he's charged with firing an
automatic.
(Whenever I fire a gun in a panic during a nightclub riot,
I always stop to crawl around on the floor and get my shell casings
back.)
We're only getting snippets of information here in the Okie Dust
Bowl, but if they convict Puffy
with hoseshit evidence like
the press is reporting, the NYPD might want to have all their
people on standby the night they announce that guilty verdict.
Besides, (and I'm sure his lawyers will make this point) Puffy is worth
over $50,000,000
and the certain civil suits won't have much of a punch if he's found
"not guilty" in this bogus trial.
No bullet, no shell casing and witnesses hoping for a pot of gold?
Chris Darden could win this trial for Puffy - that's how weak their case is.
Read the Previous
Issue
It had everything - Kneel Bush, a Snipe
hunt, cocaine, and the Secretary of Cats.
Copyright © 2001, bartcop.com
Thanks for the fumble,
Dude.
