POBox 54466.... Tulsa,OK 74155
But what time? What time?
When do you think he'll start crying?
Maybe we should have a pool and everybody pick a 5-minute block.
Will he start crying in the first five-minute block?
Will he start crying in the third five-minute block?
Will he start crying in the last five-minute block?
Connie has six, five-minute blocks in which to break him, starting
at 10 PM tomorrow on ABC.
I'm going to pick the third five-minute block, but we have to set the rules: The clock starts when
the interview does, just in case whore ABC wants to spend 15 minutes setting up the story.
So if the interview starts at 10:09, then 10:09-10:14 is Block 1 and 10:34-10:39 is Block 6.
your best guess.
This is Connie Chung's chance for a comeback.
If she treats him too nice, she's out of the business.
But if she nails him and catches him in a lie, she's back!
by RB Ham
by R. Worrell
GOD said not to judge, so I won't say that I hope
Jesse rots in hell.
I won't say that he's the most evil, lying hypocrite America's ever produced
or that thousands, maybe tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands of people
have died because of his policies and that makes him a mass murderer.
I won't say he's a fascist, a racist or a political
criminal and should be imprisoned
rather than applauded, or that anyone who would vote for him is unconscionably selfish,
ignorant or both. I won't say he's defaced the image of the US and NC, making us seem
contemptible, vile, rapacious, and mercenary in the eyes of the entire civilized world.
I won't say those things because they show bad
manners and North Carolinians always
have good manners -- even when their elected representatives are killing them.
It wouldn't be right to say those things, although
many people have.
I forgive Jesse, but I'm not God. God may look at things differently.
Jesse will be remembered for many things, including his never-ebbing
hatred for blacks, whistling Dixie
when Carolyn Mosely Braun got on "his" elevator, for being against big government until it was time to
pad the wallets of his favorite tobacco whores - then he turned into a big government hypocrite.
But his biggest "contribution" will be getting to gether with Sentelle and Faircloth to get some judges to
fire Robert Fiske for not finding any crimes by Bill Clinton so they could install a certified-religio-crazy i
n Hardon Kenneth Starr.
Hardon Kenny tried for years and years, but couldn't come up with a
traffic ticket, until this woman
Linda Tripp, stabbed her young and naive friend in the back.
It was just the sexual sensationalism Hardon Kenny was hoping for and
the government all but shut down
for three years so Hardon Kenny could root around inside Clinton's zipper looking for Easter eggs.
Jesse Helms is going to hell, and his cell will be right between Tim McVeigh and Dick Nixon.
Goodbye, Jesse, you racist prick, and don't let the 19th Century hit you in the ass on the way out.
"Is our children learning?"
Subject: Before Jesse was a Senator
In the late 60s, I was in High School in NC. Jesse
was major owner of a Raleigh TV station.
Jesse did the Editorial of the Day. NEVER was there an opposing view.
The only views of the TV station was Jesse's or his fill ins. Back in those days the Editorial of the Day
had to end with the offer of opposing views and his TV station did. There just were not any ever seen.
The school system in Goldsboro NC was still segregated.
And of course Jesse was for segregation
and he would tell you the many good points of segregation with no opposing views.
Good riddance Mr. Helms.
Bill, they can't have rebuttals because then they would always lose.
That's why Rush can't have guests on his show - they'd laugh at his stupid lies.
That's why Colmes was hired to lay down for Hannity every night.
That's why there are NO Republican sites where you can address the host.
Speaking of fear, is that coward from rushonline.com still operating?
Conservativism and cowardice are the same thing.
They can't let light or fresh air in or their ideas will die.
The internet is a big, big place, and isn't it interesting that there's
not ONE Republican
website that will print opposing letters or answer simple questions about their positions?
Conservatism = cowardice
That'd make a good banner - wouldn't it?
I were Ralph Nader
by Jeff Crook
If I were Ralph Nader, around late October of last year, I'd have called Al Gore and said...
"Mr. Vice President. This looks like it is going
to be a close election. Not between me and you.
Not between me and Bush. It's going to be close between you and the Texas Prairie Monkey.
I don't have a chance of winning. Hell, I don't even have a chance of getting enough votes to get
that matching funds thingy. But I do have enough liberal votes to put Monkey Boy in the White House.
"So here's my deal. I withdraw and send all my
support over to you. When you win, you appoint me
to one of the posts where my talents and energies can help to make a real difference, such as EPA chief,
Secretary of Commerce or Secretary of Labor. As leader of the Green party, I am a small and inconsequential
voice in shaping the government policies about which I am most concerned. But as a member of your Cabinet,
I could fight the good fight from a position where things would get done. The Green Party agenda would be
advanced. The only thing that would suffer would be my ego and the egos of all my supporters. But if we really
care about the things we say we care about, I think my ego can take the hit for the sake of the cause.
"This sort of deal-making is what politicians
do all the time. And hell, I admit it, I am a politician just like you.
So what do you say, Mr. Vice President. Do you want to be President, or do you want to retire to Tennessee,
get fat and grow a beard?"
Well, that's what I would have done, if I were Ralph Nader.
Jeff, helluva an idea.
Too bad the brins didn't think of that.
Of course, no guarantee Nader would've accepted.
I think he prefers crying to working.
"If you are afraid to fail the first
time you try something,
then parachuting is NOT for you!!"
-- Donald Simmons
From: El Bicho
Subject: Bush ain't no Crawfordian...
Nice point about Bush not really being a "Crawfordian"...
This is obviously a ruse designed to create the illusion that Bush is "just plain folks",
like when his Daddy ate porkrinds and pitched horseshoes, and bought a pair socks at local store.
This guy is an actor, putting himself in an Andy
( Sorry, Mickey!...No offense meant...).
Yeah, in today's USA Whore Today, on the front page, they reported this lie:
"Bush in his element on Texas ranch."
Bush is as much a rancher as I am a cop. Take away Fox News and Pigboy,
and the USA Whore Today is the Unelected Fraud's biggest cheerleader.
I'm so old, I remember when newspapers reported the news instead
of fabricating it
to gain favor with a senior White House aide. But, whatever President Rove wants...
Bush lacks foreign policy credibility
This is the "No, do you?" story.
It's also a great example why you should never take anything from bartcop.com as fact.
It wasn't Italy, it was Chechnya
It wasn't New Hampshire, it was Boston.
It wasn't last year, it was 1999.
It wasn't, "No, do you?" it was "No, can you?"
Sure, the whole meaning of the story was dead-on laser-beam
perfect, but the facts were
few and far between. So if you ever see a story here at bartcop.com don't repeat it until
you've done some digging on your own, or without saying, "This may be right."
Subject: Chinaco Anejo
I thought I'd found a great tequila in Patron.
It sure beat Herradura, in which I thought
was great in the 80's. I ordered a bottle of Chinaco to take to Padre Island on vacation
the first of next month. But yesterday, I met a friend to deliver a Gibson 335,
and I was close to the liquor store, so I thought, what the hell?
Took that puppy home, cracked it open and poured
a shot. I sipped it as instructed, and Woah!
Talk about smooth.
I let it pour over my tongue, and swished it around, and savored the cornocopia of flavors with an "s"!
The taste just kept on and on, and I could make
a shot last quite a while!
It definitly is a spirit to be savored, to be drunk for taste, not for effect.
My brother called this morning and said he had my bottle and just might have to have a taste.
Probably won't be there for our trip, but I'll get another bottle if I have too!
I also mentioned it to another friend at the blues jam the other night, and he said he and
his wife love it, but don't talk about it much to keep the masses from emptying the shelves!
Take care, my brother, and keep 'em flying!
Once you try the Chinaco Anejo, you can never go back.
Thanks for the note.
Uh, ...excuse me, ...but weren't we promised a babe on the new
Perhaps she's a changling or a chameleon, but I don't see her.
...and how about those snappy uniforms?
Looks like the guys who change my oil at Jiffy Lube.
Wait, isn't Paramount the same studio that hired Laura Schlessinger?
A message from Don Simmons
I am an educated, hard-working, patriotic American. My eyes are open. I know the truth.
I don't base my perceptions of the truth on what I hear and see on CNN or read in one of
those biased news publications. I do research to form my opinions and take a stand on what
I know in my heart and mind to be right. I have a spine, a concept that all too many people
these days cannot even begin to fathom. I cannot stand Rush Limbaugh!!!
He is a pompous windbag who is only out to make himself rich by rattling his head.
Subject: Petty Politicians
>I defy anybody to name for me a time when an American politician was on camera and shot back
>with something so petty, so childish, so uncalled for and so telling about his lack of character.
After losing the 1960 election to JFK, Richard Nixon went on camera
to say that "the media wouldn't have Nixon to kick around anymore".
Sounds pretty childish considering the position he was running for.
Keep up the good work.
Sean, I thought of that, but that was resentment and bitterness on Nixon's
That ugly "No, ...can you?" that the Boy King sneered at the reporter was something else.
That was contempt for a "little person" daring to speak to the Boy King in such a familiar manner.
Smirk's outburst was pure Leona Helmsley.
by Jacob Weisberg
Over the past 10 days, liberals have been voicing shock and dismay at the imminent prospect
of their old hero, Ralph Nader, intentionally throwing the election to George W. Bush.
A first, eloquent protest came 10 days ago from a group of a dozen former "Nader's Raiders,"
who asserted that their former mentor had broken a promise not to campaign in states where
he could hurt Gore and begged him to reconsider doing so. Others, including Newsweek's
Jonathan Alter, have expressed a similar sense of disappointment and betrayal.
Subject: "Who cares what you think?"
You cited the radio interview as support that
the chimp did say this.
I'll give ya another: when he wiped his glasses on that woman's sweater on Letterman.
That says all you need to know about the chimp's attitude towards us little people.
JDW, great point!
Here's the Boy King...
WIPING HIMSELF on Maria Pope, Dave's "Campaign 2000" lady.
Can you believe that son of a bitch?
What an arrogant prick!
But, of course, the obedient whore press would never call him
President Rove wouldn't be pleased if his puppet got bad press.
Swear to Koresh, if he wiped himself on Mrs. BartCop?
...and we were on camera?
I think I'd take the chance and I'd launch on the little snot.
Yeah - take me to trial.
Let's weigh all the evidence and see what a jury thinks.
When the Rapture came to Arkansas
And love is not the easy thing...
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind
And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong
Walk on, walk on
What you got they can't steal it
No they can't even feel it
Walk on, walk on...
Stay safe tonight
You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been
A place that has to be believed to be seen
You could have flown away
A singing bird in an open cage
Who will only fly, only fly for freedom
Walk on, walk on
What you've got they can't deny it
Can't sell it, can't buy it
Walk on, walk on...
Stay safe tonight
And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on
Home... hard to know what it is if you never had one
Home... I can't say where it is but I know I'm going home
That's where the hurt is
I know it aches
How your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on
Leave it behind
You've got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you steal
All this you can leave behind
All that you reason
All that you sense
All that you speak
All you dress up
All that you scheme...
For Michelle and Paul
Don't forget to check
There's lots of good stuff there, and when the new TV shows start,
we expect it to be a real hummer, so to speak :)
Subject: HEY BART
How does it feel to be on the team of LOSERS!
Assumes horseshit not in evidence.
Also, if that was a question, where was your question mark?
Do you not know how to write properly?
Your Impeached Whore ex president is more popular
as a water cooler dirty joke
then anything he's done since his cheap bargain basement presidency.
No, polls show America prefers Clinton (46 percent) over Smirk (32 percent)
as president right now.
Your "facts" are in error.
Tell me this Bartpig....
What has your web site or the DNC done since we KICKED YOUR ASS ROYALLY in the 2000 election?
I can't speak for the DNC (although I probably should) but bartcop.com
has grown since the theft.
Nice of you to ask.
Both have accomplished SQUAT and only succeed in increasing BUSH's POPULARITY!
You're not real good with math, are you?
NOBODY FEELS BUSH STOLE ANYTHING.
NOBODY IS OUTRAGED
NOBODY SAYS ANYTHING BAD ABOUT BUSH.
The majority of voters disagree.
The average working joe ,loves Bush.
He KICKED YOUR ASS!
The first statement is wishful think by a ditto-monkey who's bad with
numbers and words.
The second is partly accurate - Bush's team beat Gore's team in Florida.
And Bill The Impeached Rapist Xlintoon is STILL the butt of every dirty water cooler joke.
"Impeached" is correct, "rapist" is not.
You should try to be more accurate.
Quite sucking Xlintoons COCK and bow before YOUR
PRESIDENT..GEORGE W. BUSH.
He is running RINGS around you and your too dumb to realize it.
Why, ...I never!
And George doesn't have time to run rings around me.
He's too busy playing Nintendo and reading The Hungry Caterpillar to second graders.
It's a good thing for you he is "dumb" because
,just imagine if he was "smart"....
you guys would be getting your asses creamed all the harder!
Get over It!HE WON!9 TIMES!
Liberals won the last three popular votes in a row.
You know why?
Because America loves liberals.
Please post this email ,so as it will serve as
confirmation what idiots
your general everyday pro-Bartcop supporter is.
You may not know how to write a letter, and you may be a stranger to
but you said, "please," so I'll reward you for that and print this.
Besides, with my I.Q. of 64, it's the only way I can appear smart.
P.S.Your "RADIO RANT" sounds like Gary Spence
at a Hitler Rally getting poked up the ass
by the Impeached Rapist. You come off as effective as the adults in a PEANUTS cartoon.(
Make my day!
First of all, who is Gary Spence?
Did you mean Gerry Spence, Randy Weaver's lawyer?
He's never lost a case in court - just like Ol' BartCop!
He's a helluva lawyer, so thanks for that, Buddy.
...and sorry, I don't read Peanuts - haven't since I was eight
That's when I shifted from the funnies to hard news and the editorial page.
Our resident astrologer, Geneva,
has a new series on the charts of the all-time great guitar players.
Her first installments are on Robert Johnson and Andres Segovia.
...very interesting reading.
Found In Viet Nam
sent in by Martin Salls
On a recent "Today Show" there was a story about
two men who went to Hanoi on a business trip.
The men encountered a guy selling old GI dog tags from US servicemen who were killed during the
Viet Nam War. They were disgusted by the thought of this man profiting from the sale of these tags.
Upon returning to the U.S., they decided to go back to Viet Nam and purchase ALL the dog tags.
They did so, paying 19 cents per tag! They brought home several hundred tags. The plan is to return
the tags to surviving family members, when they can find them. The process has already begun with
one set being turned over to a grieving Mom on July 4th, (coincidentally, it was on her birthday)!
These two men have set up a website,
listing the names of all those whose tags they purchased.
If you lost friends, family, or know of someone
who lost a loved one in Viet Nam, I suggest you
check out this website. If you recognize a name, there's an e-mail address to contact these two men
and to help in their efforts to return the dogtag to it's rightful survivor. I'm sure a family member would
be eternally grateful to have such an important item returned. Please help by checking this website.
And please send the website address to everyone you know. The more people who see the lists,
the greater the chance of returning ALL the tags to those who lost loved ones in Viet Nam!
The discovery of these tags after so many years
from servicemen dead, missing and in some cases
still alive is mindboggling when you consider the emotions that will be reignited.
I leave you to your own thoughts on this one
Subject: Really ignorant and marrow-minded view of Republicans
I read about your first KKK rally, and I would
just like to say that your correlation
between Republicans and the KKK is really narrow-minded and quite offensive.
While I am not in the Republican party, I considered your story quite uneducated and ignorant.
Well, let's see...
Both quote the Bible to whine about how tough America is for the white man.
Maybe you could explain this typical Republican:
Lawmaker Forwarded Racist E-Mail
RALEIGH, N.C. (AP) - A state representative forwarded
an e-mail to fellow lawmakers that claimed,
"Two things made this country great: White men & Christianity.''
Rep. Don Davis, a white Republican, (ha
ha) said he received the letter Friday
and forwarded it
to every member of the state House and Senate. He said he didn't consider the letter racist.
"I just put it out for information. People can read into it whatever they want to,'' Davis said.
"There's a lot of it that's truth, the way I see
it,'' Davis said.
"Who came to this country first - the white man, didn't he? That's who made this country great.''
The letter angered other lawmakers who considered it offensive and racist.
"It absolutely destroys the racial harmony that
we are trying to foster in this state and in this nation,''
said Rep. William Wainwright, vice chairman of the Legislative Black Caucus.
Rep. Ron Sutton, the only American Indian
in the General Assembly, said he had no use for such
sentiments in the Statehouse. "It just shows his white-supremacist, Gestapo mentality,'' Sutton said.
The address says the e-mail was sent to Davis from an Internet site called God's Order Affirmed in Love.
"Two things made this country great: White men
& Christianity,'' the letter says.
"Every problem that has arrisen (sic) can be directly traced back to our departure
from God's Law and the disenfranchisement of White men.''
Every word of that horseshit
is straight out of the GOP/KKK handbook.
Never mind that Jesus was black... They use the Bible as cover for their racist beliefs.
So, what do you say, firstname.lastname@example.org?
It had to be Michael Dokes in that Dale Apollo Cook story yesterday.
It had to be, because he was hueueueuge, he was
very black, and I recognized him immediately
because he was a favorite of mine. Since I told the story, I've gone over lists of heavyweight fighters
and there's nobody else it could've been, so I'm convinced.
Before we get to the bad news, let me tell you about this:
Dokes was born in 1958, so he would've been 17 when I saw what I saw.
I don't know why, but Muhammed Ali boxed a few exhibition rounds
with young Dokes.
This hasn't shown up on any lists (thanks) but I saw what I saw.
In 1975, Ali was past his prime, but still the best heavyweight on the planet.
Dokes wasn't yet pro, or had just turned pro, but for whatever
they were in the ring together, and Ali was taunting him.
Dokes wasn't taking the taunting all that lightly, and things
turned, maybe not ugly, but competitive.
Dokes wasn't yet the fierce fighter he'd be a few years later, he was just a kid,
but he was faster than hell and a little pissed that Ali was mocking him.
What Ali was doing was, no other work for it - impossible.
Ali got in the corner of the ring, and with his back to the turnbuckle,
he grabbed a
handful of rope with each hand and started yelling "No hands, no hands" while Dokes
was throwing left, right, left right, left, right, and Dokes couldn't hit Ali - who was standing there
flat-footed like George Foreman, but bobbing his head back and forth and left and right.
Dokes was going crazy, trying to land a punch, frustrated
as hell with Ali repeatedly calling out,
"No hands, no hands." That only lasted for several seconds, but it was driving Dokes crazy.
Ali was two feet in front of him, and Dokes couldn't land a single punch.
It was one of the most unbelievable things I'd ever seen Ali pull off.
Now, the ugly news.
Dokes is in prison, where he belongs.
He was drunk and drugged up one night and beat his fiance almost to death.
He beat her so hard and for so long, they charged him with attempted murder
and a whole bunch of other serious crimes.
Full stomach-turning story here
She said she was held against her will for six hours, beaten and sexually assaulted.
Police said the woman's nose, eye socket and jaw were broken.
"It was an attempt to destroy. It was an attempt to demolish her," police said.
Why do I mention this? Why even bring it up?
Because that story I told yesterday was true.
If that idiot coke whore had used the wrong words when she spoke to Dokes,
(and I'm not trying to be overly-dramatic here) it's real possible we would've
had to use bullets to stop him if he'd "gone off" on her that night inside my club.
Thank Koresh things worked out like they did...
Happy Birthday to...
Tori Amos (1963)
Carl Yastrzemski (1934)
John Lee Hooker (1917)
Subject: Sirhan's bullet weighed 10,000 lbs
Bobby Kennedy is the greatest president we never
Sirhan's deed invented the mediocre Nixon, Reagan, Bush, Limbaugh and Fox news.
Maybe it's fitting that George W can be president,
and Bobby can't.
Cause that just confirms that bad always drives out good.
Bad money drives out good money.
Bad tv drives out good tv.
Bad candidates drive out good candidates.
Bad kids in school make it hell for good kids.
What a great man RFK was, and a great President
he would have made!
Bobby would have obliterated Nixon in 1968, and he puts our current leader Charlie
W McCarthy to shame in short order. Can you imagine the foreign press in 1969
complaining that President Bobby Kennedy doesn't have a grasp of foreign affairs?
"DeGaulle pegs Kennedy as lightweight, uninformed on European affairs."
Yeah right. Where have all the leaders
Thanks to Sirhan subsequently end up with a bunch of Edsels.
I hope he never gets out and gets gang raped at least one time a week.
I wish we had a government we could trust, too.
If you read thru the RFK link near the top of this page, you'll see this:
"One more issue remained, one that neither
Noguchi, the LAPD, nor the witnesses at the crime scene could
explain – and one that continues to haunt theorists and historians of the assassination to this day. The shot
that both Noguchi and the Los Angeles conclude killed Kennedy – the one that entered the back of his
neck, fragmented upon impact and lodged in his brain stem – was fired so close that it left thick powder
burns on the skin. Coroner Noguchi estimates (and the LAPD concurs) that the shot was fired at a range
no more distant than one-and-a-half inches. Yet, according to all witnesses, Sirhan Sirhan shot in front of
Kennedy and, as far as anyone knew, the senator never had the chance to turn his back towards his hunter.
Even though Noguchi remained tight-lipped and
diplomatic at the time, in his biography that he penned a
decade later – entitled Coroner -- he wrote, "Until more is precisely known…the existence of a second
gunman remains a possibility. Thus, I have never said that Sirhan Sirhan killed Robert Kennedy."
Isn't that something?
Science and logic say Sirhan didn't fire the bullet
that caused Bobby's death.
Just like with JFK and Iran-Contra and October Surprise, the truth was buried,
but we learned everything about Monica, because that was important.
What a fucked up world we live in.
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
Thanks for the fumble, Dude.