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Volume 568 - Neighbourhood Dogs


 (put your ad here)

 August 26, 2001
 VCR Alert
- Call me crazy, but I'm going to watch or tape the live Madonna concert.
  Has she ever done a live TV concert before? I know a whooooole lot of people hate Madonna,
  but few people can work a stage and a camera like she does - and it's live so things might happen.
  Also, The Travel Channel is going wild with Vegas shows.
  Sunday, 3 hours of Vegas, Monday, 3 more hours of Vegas.  Can't get enough Vegas.

 Follow Up

 That "surprise" I've been threatening to tell you about?
 I hope you think it's as big of a deal as I do.

 Click  Here


 "I can't tell you how proud I am to be traveling around
   the country and people say, `Thanks for the $600.'"
    -- pResident Weak & Stupid

  ...meanwhile, his energy company buddies are saying,
 "Thanks for the extra $600 million, Mr. President.
   Keep it coming and we'll buy you another term."

 You gotta go here

 It's a great anti-Laura the harpy page.
 They're offering $100 if you can "pie" Laura the Unloved.


Subject: Wonderful photography

Hi Bart,

I have been meaning to tell you how much I have enjoyed the photographs
at the top of the page lately.  Did you take them?
They are a wonderful example of our beautiful land that Weak and Stupid
wants to give to the oil barrons to ruin.

Keep up the good work, I enjoy your site. It's the first place I go after logging on.
I know you will always tell the truth.


Thanks, you're the second person to say that.
Those pictures are mostly from the newsgroup
I figure we should get a look at nature's beauty before Smirky ruins it with spilled oil.

...and I don't always tell the truth, but I do when it counts.

 Carol over at  does a great Paula Jones impression.

 Click on the link, then click on Blinded by the Right - 8/2/01

 Aaliyah Killed in Plane Crash

 R&B singer and actress Aaliyah died Saturday along with seven others
 when a small plane that was to carry them back to the United States
 crashed after takeoff in the Bahamas, authorities said.

 The 22-year-old artist was among nine on board the twin-engine Cessna
 and had come to the Bahamas to shoot a music video, officials said.
 One critically injured survivor was flown to Florida for treatment.

"We find it devastating and most unfortunate that after having this world-famous
 star Aaliyah and her crew select the Bahamas as their choice location for her video,
 the project has climaxed on such a tragic note,'' said Minister of Tourism Tommy
 Turnquest, who happened to be visiting Abaco Island, where the plane went down.

 Aaliyah, of Detroit, was to begin shooting the video for "Rock The Boat''
 this month in Miami, according to her Web site. It was not clear whether
 she filmed that video while in the Bahamas.

"She was like one of my daughters, she was one of the sweetest girls in
 the world,'' said Quincy Jones. "She vacationed with me and my family in Fiji.
 I loved her and respected her and I am absolutely devastated.''

 The Aaliyah web site is locked up,
 probably too many hits from fans wanting more.
 The last entry is "Aaliyah breaks from promo tour to shoot new video."

 More on today's   page!

This is a great cartoon, horribly drawn.


"Condit's performance with Connie Chung Thursday night was
  the worst political performance that I've ever seen."
  -- Julian Epstein, House Demo atty, on Larry King

 "I agree - 100 percent."
  -- Mark Garegos, Susan McDougal's attorney, seconds later

 Utah Man gets 5 Years for Polygamy

 Click  Here

 Why is the government attacking this man for his religion?
 Why aren't the Republicans for less government in this case?

 I say keep the age limit restrictions so he's not marrying children, but get off this guy's back.
 What, exactly, is this man's crime?
 Getting multiple marriage licenses from the state?

 Hugh Hefner lives with 6-8 women at a time?
 Is it the marriage license (and his religion) that makes this a crime?

 Rock stars and movie stars go thru babes like chewing gum,
 but this guy's crime is paying the state for a license?

 Today on Face the Whore, Smirk's toady said he inherited a "weakened economy."

 If that's true, why did he set up a huge tax cut for his super-rich buddies if he knew
 we were entering a recession and he'd have to rob Social Security to pay for it?

 Tell the truth, Smirk!

 I hate to be on the opposing side from Margaret Shemo,
 but sometimes things just work out that way.

 Click  Here

Wait, did you hear that?

 I left my heart.... San Francisco...

 Can you hear it?

 High on a hill, it calls to me...

 It sounds like,

 To see the little cable cars... Climb halfway to the stars...

 ...Tony Bennett

Las Vegas is no longer calling to me.

Mrs. BartCop's being called to San Francisco, instead,
and I can go along for just the plane fare.

...but I hear Vegas in the spring is nice...

 Happy Birthday to...

           Claudia Schiffer is 31                                   Ally Walker is 40

           Anne Archer is 54                      Joanne Whalley is 37

 Geraldine Ferraro is 66
 Tim Burton is 43
 Regis is 68

 Abbe Lowell, the worst big-name attorney in the United States was on Meet the Whore

 Tim the Whore: Shouldn't Condit resign from the intelligence committee?

 Worst atty: So much has come out on Gary Condit, he cannot be blackmailed.

 ha ha

 Gee, Abbe, really?
 He's the most evasive man in recent history, but he's got nothing to hide?

 If he has nothing to hide, why can't he answer simple questions?
 Why do 80 percent of the people think he's hiding something?

 Abbe, I hope your kids already have their college paid for, because I don't know who
 would ever hire you after this most dreadful performance. Matter of fact, Condit may be
 the ONLY person in America (besides OJ) who looks less credible than you now.

 And what the hell is wrong with Dick Gephardt?
 He praised the son of a bitch last week on Meet the Whore, and now he's backing up.
 Gephardt should've listened to me and dumped this lying pervert months ago.

 For a long time, I recommended we dump this bum-without-a-heart, but noooooooooo...
 We're going to let Gary Condit be "Mr. Democrat" until the next election.

 We don't want to win elections.
 We don't want to take back the House.

 We want to hit the iceberg on the SS Condit.

 New position from that lying Smirk

 After giving his word that he'd never rob Social Security, Smirk has backed off that.
 Now, it's "I would only rob Social Security in times of war or recession."

 Well, gee, Smirk.
 Under a Republican president, war and recession are guarantees.

 When you were installed against the wishes of the voters, Wall Street feared you'd
 keep your promise to cut taxes for the super-rich and rocket the national debt,
 so they had their panic attack which all but guaranteed the coming recession,
 which gives you the excuse to rob Social Security to pay for your tax cuts - you thief!
 You destroy the surplus and rocket the debt to give the super-rich MORE money,
 then you rape Social Security "because you have to?"

 That's pretty slick - did Karl Rove teach you that?

 Why didn't you tell us during the campaign that you were going to rob Social Security?
 Did Karl Rove tell you to lie?

 You're a stupid and evil thief, Smirk.
 If it wasn't for Condit, you'd lose big in November 2002.


 "All three of you are lawyers (Lanny Davis, Dick Thornburg, David Gergan)
   ...and I say that with the greatest respect..."
    --Wolf the Whore, Sunday on Late Edition

 ha ha

 I know he wasn't trying to be funny, but I laughed out loud.
 Some of the sleaziest whores in the world, like The French Fry Twins, are lawyers.

 Jesse is their rat

  Click  Here


Subject:  Re: New Star Trek show

Jolene Blalock is in the show - she's the Vulcan standing on the right of Archer:
weird short hair and pointy ears. Apparently the creators of Star Trek have forgotten
that in the past (like the wonderful Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan with old favourite
Ricardo Montalban) Vulcans, like Kirsty Alley, can have long hair and thus look attractive.



Hollywood is a strange place.
Women have to be beautiful to have a chance at a career, but then once you make it,
they cut off your hair and ugly you up so you can get in front of a camera.

This is what she looked like when they hired her.

They they cut off her hair, give her pointy ears and make her wear a potato sack.
You'd think, after Seven of Nine doubled their ratings, they'd understand that men
and women prefer to watch attractive people on television, but nooooooooooo.

Hell, if they were going to ugly her up, why not just hire a less-than-attractive woman
in the first place? You'd almost certainly get a better actress that way...

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had everything.

 Copyright © 2001,
   Thanks for the fumble, Dude.

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