POLITICS - HUMOR - FINE TEQUILA - TRAVEL - ENTERTAINMENT
Checklist for vacation to San Francisco:
1. Locate spirits store in San Fran that carries Chinaco
Beverages & More sells God's sunshine for $44, not a bad price.
Ok, now that everything has been taken care of, here's the deal:
We're flying out early in the morning.
We're going to get to the airport extra early.
Usually I sit by the window, but tomoro I'll sit by the aisle, up front.
First thing I'm going to do is get the pillow and a blanket from
overhead compartment and have that with me in case Hadji has a knife.
Last time I flew, I had two bottles of Chinaco in
my carry on, but I doubt they'll let
me on with 'em this time, since they could be broken and used as a very effective weapon.
I'm a great geographist - I always know where we are and what we're flying over.
As we get near major cities, I'll be scanning the aisles.
Swear to Koresh, if Hadji says one word, I'm going Rocky Calmus on him.
I bought a small red binder notebook to take notes for the Trip
Report, so I'll write
something about Hadji before I take him out. Tell the people digging thru the rubble
to look for a small, red notebook for details of the dead-ass hijackers.
Don't think this is some wild-ass hero planning I'm doing.
I'm just an atheist playing the odds.
by William Rivers Pitt
Strong stuff by a good writer and new contributor to bartcop.com
Subject: A question about the attack on Afghanistan
First off, let me say I love your site. Keep up the good work.
You said in the last (Thursday) article that Bush
told (our) Allies that we
were going to attack Afghanistan in October, before the September 11th attacks.
Can you give me some sources for that?
No, but it's true.
I'm pretty sure it was in one of those BBC stories or Guardian stories.
Actually, I thought the story was so well known I didn't need to attribute it.
If anyone has that story, could you post it on the forum? (Chat & Post)
Maybe Nick Marlow remembers seeing in in a UK paper...
From the Associated Press
October 4, 2001, 5:27 PM EDT
WASHINGTON -- Clearly, President Bush didn't mean it.
Winding up a speech Thursday, Bush said America
will be tough and resolute
to defeat terrorists so future generations can live in peace.
"And there is no doubt in my mind, not one doubt in my mind, that we will fail," the president said.
His audience at the Labor Department did not react.
What a moron.
What an idiot.
"We will fail," says Weak & Stupid
"How Churchillian," the Republicans keep screaming.
That's why Cheney has to pre-approve every word in his script.
He can't be trusted near a microphone or a camera.
He's a moron.
He's an idiot.
But wait, there's more...
From a CBS News story
Asked if he was worried about deficit spending, the president reminded
reporters that while campaigning,
he said the only time deficit spending was justified was during a national emergency, recession, or war.
He said all three requirements had been met.
...and all 3 have been caused (at least partially) by himself and his
It seems he was ready to spend borrowed money before he was even in office.
He's a moron.
He's an idiot.
He was not elected by anybody.
The partisan whore court appointed him against our wishes.
One of my stalkers, Jolly Roger, has spent a lot of time working up a parody page of bartcop.com
It must've taken him a long, long time, and I'd hate all that
work to go to waste, so check it out
if you want to see what this page would look like if it was written by a crazed ditto-monkey.
I Fired Ann Coulter
by Jonah Goldberg, son of The Bat
Subject: Northern Air Lodge
Remember when you thanked Northern Air Lodge in
Ely, Minnesota for supporting Julia Hyatt Steele?
It so happens that my wife and I were thinking of a weekend getaway when we saw that, so we decided
to reward Northern Air's enlightened attitude by booking a cabin there. Ely is 'way up north, and it won't
be that much fun in mid-October - can't swim in the lake and there's no snow for cross country skiing
- but it's the principle that counts! :-)
You know what Bush's real problem is? He's
a Pretend President.
The best we can hope from him is Pretend Results.
All the best,
Chris, I'll bet you get treated like a king!
Enjoy the solitude.
Listen to the blood running thru your ears.
Shake hands with a moose.
Breathe the fresh air - and no Chris Matthews!!!
When you get back, would you write and tell us about your stay?
Friends was surprisingly good last night.
Two funny shows in a row? They must have new writers.
The only bad news was finding out Ross, a bigger dweeb than Tim
Russert, is the father.
And what a stupid, stupid way to tell us. After teasing us all week about the donor's identity,
the Don Pardo announcer guy confirms it as the credits rolled.
That's a really, really stupid way to get a non-laugh.
The C.S.I. was great, as expected. Nobody killed
the comely coed.
She accidentally fell down the trash chute and ended up getting compacted in the Vegas trash.
If any C.S.I. people are reading this, you need
Tally Briggs on your show.
But she doesn't want to play a corpse, so let her be the guilty one, OK?
If you want to see her work, she's on Providence Oct 19th.
Subject: One more thing about San Francisco...
I forgot to mention one more thing - the Castro
Street fair is this Sunday.
If you aren't familiar with it, the Castro is SF's largest gay community.
The fair is always worth at least one look-see.
Vic the Racist is ragging me about Leon Panetta on Fox News last night.
He said when asked if Clinton was responsible for thew WTC, Panetta
"Yes, Clinton never took care of business he just worried about politics.
It's Clinton's fault we're in this mess"
Now, I know that's just a Vic rumor, but I believe it.
Panetta never passes up a chance to screw over his old friend, the last elected President.
Stephanopolous, Dee Dee Myers, Robert Reich, Al Gore - it seems
like they all
just stand in line to wait their turn to push that knife into his back.
If they have a legitimate beef - why the hell don't they say what it is?
I sure like this cartoon.
I think we should let it run another day.
Happy Birthday to...
Karen Allen is 50 Josie Bisset is 31 Barry Switzer is 64
Barry Switzer, author of the Barry Switzer Factor
Also, Jose Jimenez is 77
Larry (3 Stooges) Fine would've been 99 today, same for Ray Croc
The Head Boomtown Rat is 47
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
Thanks for the fumble, Dude.