Fair & balanced...

Chat & Post

BartCop Reader

Contact Us


Online Journal

Bart Cook


Gene Lyons





New to BartCop?

Back Issues


Project 60

Demo Underground

JFK Conspiracy?


Julie Hiatt

Volume 662 - Operation Enduring Handjob

Paid Advertisement

 December 11, 2001                                 Online Shopping with Amazon.com (see below)

  VCR Alert - Tonight, the exciting 24 returns. USA Today says, "I hope you used the week off to catch your breath,
   because this show clips along like no other show on TV."  We also have Frasier, Smallville, NYPD Blue and Roswell.
   I hope bin Laden doesn't pick tonight to kill himself - I don't have that many VCRs.

 From: ranman@hotmail.com

 Subject: TIME'S Person of the Year selection?


 Given all the craziness that has taken place during this past 12 months,
 I would like to read your thoughts about who you think TIME magazine
 should select as its Person of the Year.

 Randy Goins

 Randy, great question.

 No doubt, the only possible man for the title is bin Laden.
 In my opinion, September 11th was the biggest news day in history.
 Bigger than Pearl Harbor or JFK's death, bigger than D-Day, bigger than V-E or V-J day.

 Since the criteria set forth by TIME is "the person who, for good or bad, most affected the news,"
 it's hard to give it to anybody other than the architect of the world's biggest news event.

 TIME stupidly calls this designation, "Person of the Year," as tho it's an honor.

 The question is - will TIME follow the rules and make the right call?
 I say the answer is "No."

 TIME isn't in the news magazine business.
 It's in the business of selling advertising space.
 If they do what they're supposed to do and name bin Laden,
 they will get the most cancellations in their history - so they won't.

 They will eat their ethics and pick someone else.
 That's what whores do - they protect their money niagra first,
 and do what's right second, or third, or fifteenth, whatever they can get away with.

 If TIME makes bin Laden their Person of the Year, I will eat my words.
 I will say "TIME is a publication with intergrity, who put profit second to honor,"
 but that promise is as empty as the cavity where President Stupid's brain should be.

 Pigboy will fly before the American whore press lets a single nickle get away from them.

 Caveat:  TIME might pull a Smirk-like straddle and change the name of the "honor."
                       They could drop, "Person of the Year" for "Newsmaker" or some innocuous-sounding misnomer,
                       followed by a lengthy pack of horseshit about how "misunderstood" their choice has always been.
                       That way, they can name bin Laden and keep their precious customers and retain their
                       whore status with  bartcop.com

 PS. Mrs. BartCop says it'll be Guiliani, which isn't a bad choice, he just doesn't fit the criteria.
        No way Guiliani, for better or worse, affected the news more than bin Laden.

 Close your eyes . . . Trust me
   by John Machado     as seen on  onlinejournal.com

  Click  Here

 The very thought that staunch, upstanding, flag-waving Americans could
 use other Americans in a diabolical and life-threatening plot to gain power
 advantages, belittle their political opponents and, perhaps, even make a
 buck is, well, it's downright . . . thinkable.

 But, that's all it is. Thinkable. "Guessable." The very papers that would expose
 . . . or debunk . . . any such notion are sealed. And, that deed was done by the
 gentleman whose service record is a file in hiding. That's the file everyone is
 quite certain shows that he was . . . and is . . . AWOL from service in the
 Texas Air National Guard.

 Have you been to the BartCop Store lately?
  There's lots of worthless, over-priced stuff over there.

  ...and it's Koreshmas!

 Do you have a ditto-monkey uncle without a computer?
 Or a fascist, Rush-loving cousin who's not online?
 Or maybe your ex-husband lives in Texas and worships the Smirk?

 Can't think of the perfect gift for them?

 Get them a  bartcop.com  sweat shirt, let them wear it a few weeks,
 then invite them to check out  bartcop.com  and watch them turn purple!

 Click  Here

 The more you buy from  bartcop.com  the easier it will be to get into Heaven.
  * Thanks to the Catholic Church for this special offer.

 This is funny as hell


  If you read three sentences, I guarantee you'll read the whole thing.
  I'm going to check them out every week.

  Let's fight back!
 Need a Handjob?

   Click  Here

 "I say let's not simply investigate the connections between Enron and the
 Bush Administration, let's investigate the shit out of Bush, Enron et  al.
 Let's find the liberal equivalent of Kenneth Star and give him unlimited
 funds and endless subpoena power. Paul Begala comes to mind."


 Click  Here

 I no longer feel safe here ( at the moment anyway) because I have no back up at all, no money and
 considering the circumstances of these bastards persecuting me and others who are just trying to get
 the truth out or who try to help others who are being persecuted.

 I plan to go to Colorado for a little while, at least I would have some back up there, such as Weasel,
 and I have one trustworthy family member (NOT CIA) and would be able to make contact with people
 re my investigation. I dare not fly...they'd probably take the plane down just to get me...and I hate the
 Denver airport.... I can't travel without a bodyguard..... maybe Weasel will be able to come get me,
 if the goons don't do more damage to his vehicle. What a nightmare.....

 Be sure to check  today.

 Michael Dare is always a great read, and we hear from Lo Phat Ham!
 Plus, Sinatra news, Niles Crane news, Ali news, and what's this about
 Michael Moore going easy on Weak & Stupid just to sell more books?

 Please, Michael, haven't you done enough already?

 And there's more...

 The official BartCop Astrologer, Geneva, takes a look at the charts of George Harrison.
 ...and Moose & Squirrel gives you what you what you what you need!


 "We should be down on our knees thanking God right now
   that it's "natural" for men to fight, shoot and kill."
     -- Ann Coulter, who's down on her knees a lot.

 You know, Ann, it's also natural for a man to enjoy oral sex.
 I've even heard of plastic clowns who enjoy it.
 But since January of 1988, you've said it was the worst thing a man could ever do.

 If only Clinton had been a killer...

Boondocks Cartoon Censored
 Is Freedom of the Press a thing of the past?

  Click  Here

The missiles and bombs raining down upon Afghanistan have claimed another victim, this one within the borders
of the USA.     His name is Huey Freeman and he is the surly son of Aaron McGruder who conceives
and inks the ever-popular Boondocks comic strip.

The strip's hard hitting social critique of race and racial discrimination in the U.S. has earned it a faithful following -
particularly among African Americans - in the many newspapers throughout the country that carry it daily. That is
to say, the strip appeared daily until it was pulled from many papers this week, allegedly for "patriotic" reasons.

This is the toon that started the censorship:

...and so it starts.

First, they use economic pressure to squeeze out dissidents.
Soon, they could make it illegal to ridicule the unelected President Weak & Stupid.
With Ashcroft in charge, who can say that's not going to happen?

We lost the right to vote, we could lose the right to assemble, we could lose the right to speech.
Someday you'll turn on your computer and there will be no more bartcop.com

It's all part of the Bush Family Evil Empire's plan.

Reminder:  They didn't steal that election so they could do what was best for America.

 Click  Here  to see a really good page by a guy who feels
 the same way about the whores of the press that we do.

From: (withheld)

Subject: Conspiracy Theory


I'm starting to wonder, and maybe RB Ham or Al Martin might be sources,
this whole John Walker, American Taliban, is starting to sound too pat.

There's a Salon.com article today, and their references to Newsweek and the McLaughlin report
detailing the link being made between John Walker and the US California hot tub, liberal culture.

And then you've got that piece of New Tradtionalist shit (a scary piece of shit, but still shit)
written by Paul Weyrich that details agitprop against liberals.

Maybe I just need a stiff drink and a nap and when I wake up the whole world will be back to normal.


As long as the Bush Family Evil Empire controls the military, the CIA , the treasury,
the press and the Supreme Court, there is nothing, ...repeat NOTHING  they cannot do.

We in trouble, and it's the gelding Democrats who are letting it happen..


 "The Lord is getting ready to shake this nation.
   We have not yet seen his judgment in America.
   This thing that happened in New York was child's play
   compared to what's going to happen."
    -- Pat Robertson, (R-Insane) in October on his whore network

 Gee, Pat, if I send you a whole lot of money,
 can you use your divine influence with God to save us all?

 A crack whore has more dignity than you, Robertson.
 If there was a God, he'd stick your greedy ass in hell.

 From: Kencarman1@aol.com

 Subject: WHY?

 Why doesn't Bush ask Congress for a declaration of war?...against who, what nation?

 Can one declare war on a person? The reason is the worm wants to KEEP options open
 so he can shift priorities, like a con-man carny shifting a ball under a cup, to suit his power
 grabbing needs: so they can stay in power, not only seven more years, but beyond.
 They changed the rules once, because of Roosevelt, they will certainly change them again,
 so Boy-King can pack the court and have the dictatorship he lusts for. He's already part
 way there and the whipped puppy liberals simply roll over begging for more.

 The reason that was brought up is this:
 Elenore Cliff said on McLaughlin that legally, nobody can be charged
 with treason unless a war is formally declared by congress.

 Now, "legally" has never stopped this gang of thugs in Washington.
 They're going to do what they're going to do and the Supreme Court will rule it legal.


 If you don't read  bartcop.com  every day - the Evil Doers win.

 On Flying High And Lowered Expectations
    by  Arianna Huffington

  Click  Here

 The 30-second spot, part of a $20 million media blitz, features excerpts from a rousing speech
 the president gave in the aftermath of the Sept. 11 attacks, intercut with shots of travel industry
 employees speaking the impassioned words along with him.

 "Greatness is found," the president, a waiter and a rental car agent inform us, "when American
 character and American courage can overcome American challenges." Challenges like enduring
 the endless lines at Disney World's Space Mountain ride, I suppose.

 A Letter From the Front
  A Recon Marine in Afghanistan Speaks

  Click  Here

 The one truth the Taliban cannot escape is that, believe it or not, they are human beings, which means they have to
 eat food and drink water.  That requires couriers and that's where an old bounty hunter like me comes in handy.
 I track the couriers,  locate the tunnel entrances and storage facilities, type the info into the handheld, shoot the
 coordinates up to the satellite link that tells the air commanders where to drop the hardware, we bash some heads
 for a while, then I track and record the new movement.  It's all about intelligence.

 If you've been reading  bartcop.com  very long, you know that I think
 The Godfather movies are among the best damn movies ever made.

  Click  Here

 You gals out there - if your husband/boyfriend is a Godfather fan, he'd love getting this for Christmas.
 On the other hand, if you & he didn't think The Godfather I and II were all that good, you probably
 wouldn't want to spend the money.  Maybe a Jim Carrey moviewould be a better choice.

From: jcolwel2@ford.com

Subject: Imus Admits Whoredom

Imus was talking about Geraldo Rivera this morning.
He made a little comment that I thought was very telling.   He said,
"Doesn't Geraldo know that every time you talk about how wonderful Clinton is, your ratings suffer?"

Imus speaks in hyperbole, so when he utters the phrase, "talks about how wonderful Clinton is,"
he really just means "treat Clinton fairly" or "point out the facts in Clinton's favor as well as those that aren't."

Imus' admission was a little thing; a slip of the tongue, but to me it was the same as if he had said,
"Market research indicates that commentators experience a ratings increase commensurate with
 their attacks on Clinton, and that's why we attack him."

He could save even more words by simply declaring, "I, Don Imus, am a whore."

Imus has hated Clinton for nine years.
No wonder the Washington ignoratti loves his no-talent ass so much.

 Horseshit from Newsmax

  Click  Here

 This is one of those stories that's guaranteed to be pure horseshit.
 This sounds exactly like stripping AF One and trashing the White House.
 Hillary told the military mothers to go to hell?

Arnold is getting $30 million to do Terminator III?

I smell a rat.
Arnie hasn't been in a movie that made money for a decade, and he gets $30 million.
Julia Roberts is always guaranteed money in the bank and she's "stuck" at $20 million.

Arnie getting 50 percent more than an actual money-making star in Hollywood gets?

Sure, this is America, and they can throw away money any way they want, but I can hear
the screams now as this $175 million nightmare drags down two studios.

...and that's just the projected budget - wait until the film comes in at $220 million.

If  T-3 stinks like the last 5 Arnold movies, who will they blame?
Bill or Hillary?

 Click on to get all your Entertainment news

ha ha,  I'm getting away with it..
Unka Dick was right - they all fell in line,
...especially the press.

 I wonder why Smirk & Cheney didn't follow the advice offered
 by the GOPers who signed this letter to then-President Clinton?

 Click  Here

 We urge you to act decisively [against Saddam].  If you act now to end the threat of weapons of mass destruction
 against the U.S. or its allies, you will be acting in the most fundamental national security interests of the country.
 If we accept a course of weakness and drift, we put our interests and our future at risk.


 Elliott Abrams
 Richard L. Armitage
 William J. Bennett
 William Kristol
 Richard Perle
 Vin Weber
 Donald Rumsfeld

 Smirk & Dick & Rumsfeld had nine months to take action against Saddam,
 but they were too busy fabricating stories about trashing the White House
 and stripping Air Force One and getting tax breaks for the super-rich.

From: Joe B in Cleveland

Subject: Another day of bullshit

Morning Bart
The radio stations in Toledo and probably everywhere else are owned by Clear Channel and Cumulus.
One is Fox Whore the other is out of Texas.
Fuck, the only thing they don`t own is you and a handful of others.

I dream of election`s in 2002 that maybe things will change.
Well, I can hope Bart.

I`m planning on swinging with you till the bitter end.
Fuck it, I`m not giving up.


Joe, let's hope the end isn't so bitter.
It's possible the Democrats may one day get the balls to stand up to the Bush monsters.
It's possible we might get to vote in federal elections again.
It's possible we might one day get back the Bill of Rights.

Till then - I recommend fine tequila and Glocks.

 Happy Birthday to...

         Donna Mills is 59                        Teri Garr is 52

 Once lost, these freedoms will be impossible to restore
  The terror threat is being used to attack civil rights in Britian and in the US

  Click  Here

 In some respects, admittedly, Ashcroft goes further than Blunkett.
 He refused to let the FBI  check its records to see whether any of his 1,200 arrestees
 had bought guns before September 11.  That would have meant defying the gun lobby,
 for which the private sanctity of this database is a cardinal adjunct to the right to bear arms.
 There are some rights that even the terrorist threat cannot be allowed to override.

 I'm watching everything you do...
 If you're in the wrong religion, we might consider you a threat.

BartCop, ...BartCop, ...

Come to Las Vegas, ...BartCop

Make payments with PayPal - it's fast, free and secure!
   PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com
 .Support Bartcop.com
 POBox 54466.... Tulsa,OK 74155

Shopping online?
Use the portal below and they'll throw  bartcop.com  a nickle and
it costs you nothing more than whatever you were going to pay.

Search Now:
In Association with Amazon.com

Suggestions for purchases from Amazon.com

Books my good friends have written...

     Robert Parry                                Conason - Lyons                 Gene Lyons

Since I'm not too good with html trickery, you have to go to Amazon.com
(use the portal below) and search for the titles, instead of just clicking on the link.

Other great gifts...

  "...and It's Deep, too."                                           The Godfather DVDs
  Nine CDs and a book.
 "The Bible of Comedy"

 If you use this search box, 

Search Now:
In Association with Amazon.com

 anything you order from Amazon.com will get a nickle thrown to  bartcop.com

Thanks, and Merry Koreshmas

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had everything.

 Copyright © 2001,  bartcop.com
   Thanks for the fumble, Dude.


Privacy Policy
. .