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Volume 664 - Hey, Smirk!  Read This!

 December 13, 2001                                                              Online Shopping with Amazon.com (see below)

 VCR Alert - Tonight, hormone-crazy Rachel answers Joey's "How you doin?"    Amazing Race (yawn) closes.
  Benton explodes on ER so he can leave the show. Let's hope Romano needs $4500 in bridge work Friday morning.
  Don't forget C.S.I., America's top show, is on an hour later tonight.  CBS wants to slit ER's throat, so they're crashing
  Dr. Benton's going away party. BTW, do we like Dr. Benton? If it wasn't for Dr. Romano, Benton would be the biggest
  prick doctor on TV, wouldn't he? Isn't that why Carter slugged him in the mouth? For being a heartless bastard?
  Dave has child scientists tonight. Dave's always great with kids, especially the hyperactive ones.


 "This president understands that, if we are successful in the prosecution of the war,
   that will create political capital that can be used to expand on other things, international or domestic."
     -- Karl Rove, explaining why young American soldiers will die until October of 2004

 How Crooked is the Texas Supreme Court?
   Close Friend of Court Goes Down in Flames

   Click  Here

 The Texas Supreme Court justices’ single largest source of corporate donations has collapsed
 in a pile of investor fraud and deception—and some of the wreckage could end up back before the court.
 To break up utility monopolies and revolutionize how electricity flows into sockets, Enron had to amass
 enormous influence in local, state and federal governments. In its home state, Enron wielded extraordinary
 clout in all three branches of government.

 Texas High Court justices have taken $134,058 from Enron’s PAC and executives since 1993.

 ...and then they ruled in the oil companies's favor, pleasing the crooked governor.

 Enron pays the governor and the Supreme Court to have the laws changed.
 Then the Texacutioner took this crooked scheme national and here we are.

 Too bad there isn't a free press in America anymore.
 The old American press would've loved a story like this.
 Instead of Woodward and Bernstein, we have Fox News and the Clinton Cock Network

From: democrat1ga@yahoo.com

Subject: American Taliban: Ashcroft, not John Walker

Does it seem as obvious to anyone else that, If OBL has snuck out the back door under Shrub's nose, that
the media and the Bushistas are setting the cards up to make John Walker public enemy #1?

Yes, he fought against us with the Taliban.
Yes, he is a damn, filthy, murdering, traitor to his country of birth, and does not deserve one bit of
mercy if found guilty of being part of the prison riot that killed the CIA officer.

But . . .
He does deserve to be tried in a closed civil court, with a competent defense attorney, and all the facts
presented to a jury of his AMERICAN peers. If he was not any part of 9-11, and is just another unwashed
foot soldier, villifying him does not bring OBL to justice. It only makes the U.S. look desperate to find a
scapegoat, and harder for our allies to find reason to hand over terrorist suspects in their countries.

'Course that is the smart thing to do, and Bush ain't exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer . . .

-Prodigal Son

I agree on the attempt to villify this guy, but so far, he impresses me as a slow-blinker
who got caught up in the same religious idiocy (but different flavor) that Ashcroft is caught in.
When people get scared, they grasp at straws (or ghosts) for protection.  Taking up arms
against America is one thing, believing in the "wrong religion" shouldn't be a crime.


 "Fuck the Constitution"
   -- George Bush, John Ashcroft, and a majority of gelding Democrats.

Hey, Smirk!  Read this!

SIXTH AMENDMENT - "Inallcriminal prosecutions,
(It doesn't say "unless Bush has another opinion)the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and publictrial, (it doesn't say 'unless Bush wants it secret')by animpartial jury(it doesn't say
a 'hand-picked jury of officers who owe their careers to Bush') of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, (which would be New York) which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; (that would rule out Bush's military tribunals) to be confronted with the witnesses against him; (it doesn't say 'unless Bush wants them kept silent') to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, (it doesn't say 'unless a fair trial is likely to end in an acquittal for people the president wants silenced') and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defence." U.S. Const. amend. VI. (that's not what Bush has in mind for those he personally has decided don't deserve a lawyer)

It's scary when a majority of Americans think the Constitution doesn't apply to Emperor Weak & Stupid Bush


"Clinton told me that if Gore were president, Republicans in Congress
  would be criticizing Gore's prosecution of the war, holding hearings about
  the administration's failures and perhaps even seeking Gore's impeachment."
       --  Al Franken

 I believe that, and the vulgar Pigboy will spin it as "Even Clinton agrees Bush is a better man,"
 but look at exactly what he said.  If Gore had won legitimately, the crooked-bastard ditto-monkeys
 would have fabricated "serious crimes" against Gore, just like they did with Clinton, so they could say,
"The Democrats are so crooked, we had to impeach two of them in a row."

 Does anyone doubt they would've done it?

 The only reason they can get away with that is because the Democrats refuse to fight.
 They refuse top play defense, they refuse to play offense.
 All they know how to do is beg Karl Rove for mercy.

 Son of a bitch, that pisses me off.

 This Just In...

 NRA opens branch office in New Delhi

  Click  Here

 Bush blocks lawsuit against Iran by former hostages
  Those who suffered want their day in court. Will they get justice?

  Click  Here

 We know why Bush has to bury this lawsuit - because Saint Reagan and his Daddy
 got elected by secretly and illegally making an arms deal with the Hezzbollah terrorists.
 The only question is will the Bush Family Evil Empire skate away from justice again?

 Quickest way out?
 Bush has Scalia rule that the truth would cause "irreparable harm" to America.
 Since it has nothing to do with Clinton's zipper, anything Bush does is legal, right?

 You can't beat having a crooked Supreme Court on the payroll...

 From: The Quiz Master

 Subject:Guess the Slur


I've invented a new game - "Guess the Slur."  The rules are simple: I describe a situation
in which some Republican or media commentator said that the Clintons behaved in a horrible,
despicable manner, and you guess what the despicable behavior was.

Here's an example:
In 1993, when the WTC was bombed the first time, did Bill Clinton:
a)  go to the bombing site for a 'photo-op', not caring that he got in the way of the rescue efforts,
     possibly endangering lives, .....or.....

b) not go to the bombing site, sending a clear message to rescue workers that he doesn't care
    about them and a clear message to terrorists that his administration is weak on terrorism.

If you had answered "B" you'd be right!

Every day, I'll send a new smear that I heard and you write in with your answer.
The Quiz Master will be the final judge.

Here's today's question:

Did that awful Hillary Clinton:
a) attend just one funeral in New York, going there just for a photo-op and revealing
    what a calculating bitch she is......or...
b) attend a lot of funerals in New York, disrupting families' ability to pay respects to
    their deceased relatives because "it's all about her"....or.....
c) attend no funerals at all, proving that she doesn't care at all about her constituents;
    she only cares about herself.

Whatever number of funerals she attended--it was obviously the sickening act of a sociopath.
Attending zero or one or more than one funeral is crass political manipulation.
Which unconscionable act do YOU think she pulled on grieving New Yorkers?

Can you Guess the Slur?

Answers are due Friday by 11:00.

Iran Judiciary Closes Newspapers

 Click  Here

 Iran's hard-line judiciary said it ordered the closure of more than 50 newspapers
 "for the sake of God,'' the official Islamic Republic News Agency reported Wednesday.

 A year from now, the British papers will be saying the same about us.

From: fnx@earthlink.net

Subject: I can't take it any more

I just now managed to walk through the TV room at just the right time.
CNN's Tucker Carlson and Margaret Carlson (his mother?) spouting about the Dec 12th appointee
and how "Democrats are now exceedingly GLAD about the Supreme Court decision", blah blah, and
all about "Al Gore's last moment", ad nauseum.  This was preceded by gushing flattery of Dick Armey,
"...just an extremely nice man.  We'll all miss him so much".

Yes, I'll miss hearing the fucking drunk fat-ass bigot calling people "fag" on the floor of the house.



How can I get appropriate e-mail addresses for those scum at CNN?

Bob, I learned a trick.
Change the return address on your e-mail to karlrove@whitehouse.gov
and it'll get sent to (and read by) every employee at the Clinton Cock Network

I'm so old, I remember Margaret before she joined Team Bush.

I'm Still Glad Limbaugh is Deaf
  by  scrodd@mediaone.net

 Click  Here

"Go ahead, tequila boy.
  Make trouble - help the terrorists.
  I'm watching you reeeeal close.
  You won't feel so funny when you're in jail with no lawyer..."


"There is a growing concern among the public that these rapid-fire oversight hearings
  are aimed less at providing information and more at demonizing the administration
  and our attorney general for partisan purposes,"
    -- B'Orin Hatch, December 4, 2001

 Doesn't it figure?
 Hatch helped lead the nine-year safari into Clinton's zipper, and that was "legitimate oversight."
 But when the unelected idiot wants to execute his former business partners without a trial,
 it's the partisan Democrats trying to make political hay?

 ...I have no doubt the gelding Democrats apologized and promised not to do it again.

 Y'know, I'm nearing the end of the road with the Democrats.
 I either want to be elected to congress so I can remind the scared bunnies how to fight
 or I want out of this party.

 I can't stand this constant cowering in fear and endless apologies.
 When Ashcroft called the Democrats terrorist enablers, they just took it.

 Get me outta this party!

 I took the "Who Said It? McCarthy or Ashcroft?" test

 Click  Here

 How well do you know your federal oppressors?

 Big sale at the Bart Store
   Not really, it's all worthless, over-priced trinkets

  ...and it's Koreshmas!

 Big long lines of traffic,
 parking lots jammed with cars,
 cold and rainy, windy weather,
 screaming kids running thru the aisles,
 big, long lines at the cash register with no sales people in sight..

 Not your idea of a good time?

 Relax, ...kick back, pour yourself a shot of fine tequila, get your credit card out
 and do all your Christmas shopping the easy way - at the Bart Store
 Your Preacher or your Grandma would love a shirt like this:

        Today's Featured Product

 Our research shows the old folks love the attack shirts.
 FREE Shipping with $50 order or more.
 Order by Dec 17th for Christmas Delivery.
 For an extra $6, Ken Lay will deliver and autograph your shirt.

 Regular $134.95 value, now only $24.95!!!
 That's over 80 percent off!
   Our Christmas gift to you!

 Click  Here  ...while supplies last.

 Limit 60 per customer.  Void in Carolina, Dakota and Massabamma.  Dealer keeps rebate.
 Void if used in any matter other than intended by the victim, I mean buyer.   Fat Free.
 Just like the one Ronnie wears at the ranch. For ages 2-up.  Genuine Italian Leather trim.
 Not to be used as a chastity belt. No warranty is implied or inferred, but it's the best
 Koresh-damn sweatshirt money can buy. Neiman-Marcus wishes they had quality like this.
 Can be used as a flotation device in case of a water landing.
 Twenty percent off with nude picture approved by Decent Exposure Committee.
 No silk worms were harmed in the making of this shirt, but we lost three polyesters.
 Must use for lawful purpose only.  Stalkers must include 15 percent gratuity.
 If you voted for Weak & Stupid, we reserve the right to attach ditto-monkey logo, instead.
 Made by Hanes - you'll be getting tail like MJ wearing one of these babies.


 "Americans are dropping food to Afghans so that
   they can fatten them up before they slaughter them.''
    --Hamdi Qandil,  Egypt's most popular television commentator,

 So, Egypt has a vulgar Pigboy, too?

 Be sure to check  today.

 From: proty77@aol.com

 Subject: Who is Brook Burke?

 BartCop, you mentioned Brook Burke in [yesterday's] issue.
 Who is she?

 Who is Brooke Burke?
 Welcome to America, my friend.

 Next time you buy food, look at the magazine covers.

 AOL now ready to become an official arm of the GOP
      by  FizzTwo@aol.com

 Click  Here

When AOL bought TimeWarner it became obvious really quickly that the new management
was decidedly right-wing. The first flap was about AOL Chairman Steve Case and his wife giving
large sums of money to a whacky religionist fringe group whose main mission was to "cure" gays
and lesbians. Although Levin thanked me (sincerely) for my suggestions about how Case should
reach out to the gay community, nothing ever came of it besides AOL TimeWarer sowing mistrust
and suspicion among a very important group in almost all the businesses the company is active in.

Keeping an eye on those wild conspiracy theories...

   The highlights of Ashcroft’s new methods to spy on you
 Operation Diminishing Freedom
     by Molly Ivins

   Click  Here

 By George, we need honest, reasoned debate around here and not fear-mongering,
 so anyone out there who suspects Attorney General John Ashcroft of being a nincompoop
 is clearly aiding terrorists and giving ammunition to America's enemies. Ashcroft says so,
 and if that's not reasoned debate, what is?

 Happy Birthday to...

              Karen Witter is 40                        Christie Clark is 28             Steve Buscemi, hero,
                                                                                                                     actor, firefighter is 44
                                                                                                                     Shot of Chinaco, Steve

 Also, Dick Van Dyke is 76, and Texas's last respected governor Ann Richards is 84

 I'm watching everything you do...
 If you worship the false God, you're helping the terrorists.
 That might buy you a quick execution in Bush's America.

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I tried every store in K-Drag and everyone is sold out of the new U2 DVD
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Books my good friends have written...

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Thanks, and Merry Koreshmas

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had everything.

 Copyright © 2001,  bartcop.com
   Thanks for the fumble, Dude.


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