"More and more, Cheney displays all the signs
of a guy trying to spin his way out of a tight spot.
The best defense is a good offense,
yanno? Between his secret energy policy meetings, the no-bid
contracts to Halliburton which has
lined his pockets and the pockets of cronies, the false rationales
for the Iraqi war and the high crime
and treasonous act of destroying an intelligence network.
Someone - perhaps Cheney himself -
committed actual treason."
--Cowboy Kahlil, Cheney
covering up acts of treason?
Court to Decide if Pledge Is Legal
The Supreme Court agreed Tuesday to decide
whether it's unconstitutional for children
in public schools to pledge their allegiance
to "one nation under God."
The Pledge of Allegiance case pushes the
court into an emotional argument over religion, patriotism
and schools. Activists on both sides of
the church-state divide immediately predicted one of the most
significant, and wrenching, rulings in
the court's modern history.
Oh please, this is so easy.
If "under God" belongs in the Pledge of Allegiance, it then also
belongs in cookbooks, legal documents,
news stories, Nazi hate radio, movies, country music, on tequila
bottles, stop signs and everywhere else.
The fact is, "under God" isn't necessary for the pledge - it's
not needed - it doesn't belong there.
You might as well ask people to pledge their allegiance to mustard
over ketchup on hot dogs.
Why not ask them to pledge to FOX News while they're at it?
Such extreme stupidity, and all for a non-existent invisible cloud
bombshells in Kobe case
According to CNN, 1:20 EST...
1. Judge rules some accuser sexual
history can be brought into the hearing.
2. BIG Bombshell - when the accuser
went to the hospital, her panties had
and pubic hairs that did not belong to her or Kobe.
They got this from a police detective.
That's not good when a state employee torpedoes
the state's case.
Kobe may be guilty as hell, but non-Kobe pubic hairs and semen
being found inside her panties
the day after the "rape" certainly sounds like reasonable
doubt to me.
It certainly seems like the cops are extra-eager to "get" Kobe.
Hell, this judge could rule there's not enough evidence to go
Convoy Bombed in Gaza; Three Americans Killed
"A remote-controlled bomb exploded under a U.S.
diplomatic convoy Wednesday, ripping apart
an armored van and killing three Americans
in an unprecedented attack on an official U.S. target.
The bombing, which also wounded an American,
will likely intensify U.S. pressure on the Palestinian
Authority to take action against militant
groups. The U.S. Embassy advised U.S. citizens to leave
the Gaza Strip after the attack. There
was no claim of responsibility. But if Palestinian militants
were to blame, it could signal a dramatic
change in strategy
We have to remember Bart's Law #2.
Since Bush's "mistakes" in the Middle East are making the B.F.E.E.
we have to assume those "mistakes" will be repeated - again and
It's a great way to make hundreds of millions of dollars - if
you don't count the bodies.
Subject: Rush the liar
I agree with Lee. Rush should get no pity
or compassion from liberals.
He NEVER cut anyone any slack; he needs
to get pummeled every time he opens his duplicitous,
hypocritical mouth. He made millions by
selling his "snake oil" to ditto sheep; nothing but a modern day
charlatan peddling his uncaring, radical,
right wing, racist venom.
But I guess we know what he was really talking
about when he said, "With half my brain tied behind my back."
He was on drugs!
Keep on hammerin'
Thanks to Rock City Films
screwup in Kobe case
Tuesday, prosecutors said they had received
medical records mistakenly released by a hospital
where the alleged victim was examined after
the encounter, and passed those records on to
Bryant's lawyers as part of the normal
exchange of evidence.
Prosecutors had subpoenaed the examination
records from Valley View Hospital in Glenwood Springs.
They received those records and records
from an earlier visit by the woman, prosecution spokeswoman
Krista Flannigan said.
She declined to comment on the date or the
nature of the earlier visit.
"They were records they should not have
given us," Flannigan said.
Is this where the defense got their "three men in 49 hours" foundation?
This circus has the potential to turn in to Rodney King, OJ
Drug Use No Joking Matter
by Smoking Joe Conason
Legal experts in Florida agree that Mr.
Limbaugh's high-priced Miami attorney, Roy Black has little reason
to worry that his celebrity client will
So whatever punishment Mr. Limbaugh must
endure will be handed down in the court of public opinion.
He enjoys the support of millions of character
witnesses, including prominent fellow hypocrites such as his
close friends William Bennett and Newt
Gingrich. But they would all be hard-pressed to describe the mighty
radio mouth as someone who has earned great
sympathy. This is, after all, a man who earned millions by
lampooning the plight of AIDS victims,
spreading rumors that implicated Hillary Clinton in murder and Bill
Clinton in cocaine abuse, and mocking the
physical appearance of their young child. His brilliant career
was founded on daily "entertainment" of
Mr. Limbaugh specialized in legitimizing
the denigration of the least fortunate. "The poor in this country are
the biggest piglets at the mother pig and
her nipples," he complained. "And I'm sick and tired of playing the
one phony game I've had to play, and that
is this so-called compassion for the poor. I don't have compassion
for the poor." Not even a hungry child
or an unemployed father or an ill elderly woman was deemed by the
great conservative guru to be deserving
of his sympathy.
Candidates in Search of an Audience
by Gene Lyons
More seriously, what Bill Clinton and
anybody else who qualifies as a Democratic senior statesman needs
to do is persuade the following four candidates
to drop the ego trip for the sake of the party: Dennis Kucinich,
Carol Mosely-Braun, Al Sharpton and John
Edwards. Doing so publicly might become necessary. None has
any chance whatsoever to become the nominee.
Their participation only distracts attention from the candidates
who do, and contributes to the air of solemn
fakery that made last week's CNN extravaganza both tedious
and faintly embarrassing. They should endorse
somebody soon and go away.
Gene is right, as always, and he said it
before I had a chance to.
When Graham dropped out, he should've thrown
his support to somebody.
By failing to endorse someone, Graham made
it look like none of the nine were worth it.
I'd like to add Lieberman to Gene's list
of four, too.
As always, the Democrats don't want to
win, and it makes me sick.
They're trying to hand another four years
to the biggest idiot in the history of politics.
Dear U.S. News,
The only problem with Gloria Borger's rather
facile analysis of Democratic "hypocrisy"
regarding the independent prosecutor
Bill Clinton APPOINTED the independent prosecutor.
He appointed Fiske, a Republican, who, after
a thorough investigation, was ready to clear
Clinton of any wrongdoing in Whitewater,
when REPUBLICANS replaced him with Starr--not only
a Republican, but a rabidly partisan member
of the Federalist society.
Gee, no wonder the Clintons complained about
perversion of the process.
Or did Gloria miss all that?
Democrats didn't complain about the independent
prosecutor; they complained about the abuse of it.
REPUBLICANS insisted it was necessary (one
of the most insistent was, of course, John Ashcroft)
for even the appearance of executive impropriety.
Now they INSIST it's not needed.
Gloria is either a poor historian or an
out and out liar.
Subject: Rough sex with
I didn't blog this, but I do have an answer
to your question. You asked:
If she had rough sex with three men in 48
hours, and the state is using her
phyical condition as evidence, why is it
illegal for Kobe's team to defend him?
The point is that there is NO EVIDENCE she
had rough sex with 3 men in 48 hours.
You just can't ask ANY question in a court
of law, you have to have a good faith basis
for the question, and there is nothing
in evidence that would give Mackey a good faith
basis to ask about rough sex with 3 guys
in two days.
Keith, either the woman suffered mistreatment or she didn't.
My point is, if she has an injury, why is it illegal to determine
she suffered it?
If you're giving a Nancy Grace guarantee that Kobe's
lawyers have nothing, that's one thing.
But if she claims injuries, why doesn't Kobe have a right to
ask, when it occured?"
"It's a lot better than you probably think.
Just ask people who have been there.
They're stunned when they come back
-- when they go to Iraq and the stories they tell
are much different from the perceptions
that you're being told life is like."
--Dubya, telling the stressed-out troops to "knock it off."
"It's not as bad as those Vietnamese
jungles - they were hell!"
scumbag GOP hypocrite?
Just a quick note to let you know that I
love your website! You make my day with the cartoons, comments
and, especially the "Monkey Mail" (what
morons!). However, there's something that I should bring to your
attention with regard to the quote made
by Tom Davis that was posted on Monday:
> "Character is always important but Bill Clinton
> lowered the bar so low it's not as important
as it was."
> -- Rep. Tom Davis,
This will probably not come as any surprise
to you, but Tom Davis is about as big a hypocrite as one can
possibly be. You see, he's having
an affair as well. I'm originally from his district in Fairfax County,
(currently living outside Harrisburg, Pennsylvania,
but moving back to Virginia in two months). Everyone in
the Democratic Party of Virginia, as well
as the Fairfax County Democratic Committee (and, no doubt, the
RNC and Virginia GOP) knows it; it's an
open secret. The woman he's having an affair with is running for
the Virginia Senate. Her name is Jeannemarie
Tom's thrown a boatload of money into her
campaigns. That's the only way Jeannemarie could win, because
she's dumber than owl shit. (Her
nickname in the Virginia Democratic Party is "I.S." - "Ignorant Slut").
He's also quite candidly stated to at least
two Fairfax County Democrats that he specifically created a new
district for Jeannemarie as a "gift" to
her. Jeannemarie's husband left her about three years ago when he
found out that all the gossip about her
and Tom was true (supposedly he caught them together). Tom's wife,
Margaret, an OB-GYN in Fairfax, Virginia,
separated from him last year. (The rumor mill in Virginia politics
is that Jeannemarie was also caught
doing the wild thing in a maintenance closet with another Delegate.
The janitor caught 'em, LOL.).
I - and many other people - are waiting
for the Washington Post to catch on to this, but it'll probably never happen.
Looks as if they're covering Tom's ass
on this and that Jeannemarie will win the Virginia Senate seat.
(Believe it or not, this skeezer also wants
to become Lieutenant Governor - with Tom's help, of course.)
Of course, if word of this ever got out,
they'd both scream with that superficial, phony righteous indignation
that Republicans have mastered to an art
form. (One of Jeannemarie's daughters was convicted of armed
robbery about two years ago. Love
those Republican "family values", LOL!
Just thought you'd like to know . . .
Dana, I had not heard those rumors, but it sounds like typical
Newt was banging his secretary while orchestrating Clinton's
impeachment and the whole town
knew about it, but they protected him because they wanted Clinton
to get all the headlines.
Washington is famous for covering up crimes and illicit affairs
but they love manufacturing "scandals" for anyone with
a "D" behind their name.
"I want to tell people about how bad the attacks
on US and coalition forces have gotten in the last month.
In the last two weeks I was there we
were attacked at least 20 times a day if you count all the shots we
heard from random sniper or opportunity
attacks. We were losing at least five men a day to injuries and
there was at least one of our unit
killed every twenty four hours."
-- a 20-year military
veteran who just got back from Iraq Attribution
Honors for Karl Malden & Barbra Streisand
The Jimi Hendrix action figure
(Don't laugh, Jimi was a paratrooper in Vietnam)
Ozzy Osbourne scraps tour
Clint Eastwood wishes Ahnold good luck
'Rocky Horror Picture Show' finally premieres in Singapore
Jose Feliciano, the national anthem & 35 years
(I believe his NA was the first "disrespectful' version)
'No Doubt' in November
Newspaper editors voice support for LA Times series
And the prime time top 20
I know this sounds impossible, but as of yesterday, EVERY picture
that I grab
off the web or from my mailbox is now coming in as a BMP.
I don't need to know why this impossibility is screwing with me,
but I really need it to stop because I'm too busy to convert
20 pictures a day.
Any ideas or suggestions?
Why does this crap keep happening to me?
I noticed sometimes you cut up political
cartoons for your site, even when they may be
funnier if you left them at their full
size. Is this because you are trying to save space?
Or is it a legal issue?
Mostly it's just an editor doing his job.
Sometimes, especially on a Sunday, a toonist will have a great
and funny four-panel toon,
but his contract calls for eight panels, so they do four panels
of, "Hi, how are you?"
The best jokes are the short ones.
Words are obstacles to be hurdled.
If you're Doonesbury, Boondocks or Get Your
War On, dialog is your currency.
But a great toonist lets the image talk, instead.
Check out the great Bruce Yurgil.
He's often a man of no words.
accident on Leno
Last night Leno had on supermodel Heidi Klum, wearing an $11
million dollar bra-and-panty.
It what seem to be a non-planned incident, Jay goaded German-born
Heidi into yodeling.
While grabbing a great-looking pair of lung's worth of air, she
popped the snap on her bra.
It was so funny - her eyes got as big as the dollar pancakes
at Waffle House.
Leno and Martin Short pulled up the back of her blouse "to assist."
That's what I call good TV.
Berry was on Dave Monday night
She told Dave that she was hosting SNL this
Saturday, and that Britney Spears was also a guest.
Quick-thinking Dave said, "You
know what that means..."
Halle replied, "I
I'm going to have to kiss her..." (wild
applause from the audience...)
Dave said she was being a good sport about
it, and Halle replied, "It should be nice..."
Wow - that was better than Leno working
on Heidi's bra.
"Everyone laughed when the Boy Emperor trotted
out the Trifecta line at dinner parties. Al Gore
would have been executed if he'd said
it. The Gropenator didn't refute all those tales of sexual
assault and simply said, 'Sorry for
feeling you up!' and can't remember if he admired Hitler or not,
but he was elected governor of California.
If Gray Davis had that record and admired Hitler's abilities?
Lynching in Sacramento would have been
Subject: Payback, thy name
Bart, you wrote:
> "the GOP was desperate to impeach Clinton
- but they couldn't find evidence of any crimes."
BartCop, you are probably the lamest of
the Clinton sycophants. Let me straighten you out:
I like to be straightened out.
First of all, nobody was looking to "impeach
Clinton" - that's another BartCop lie.
So Bob Barr
looking into impeachment proceedures before Monica
was just a case of him knowing the future?
Are you Catholic?
Clinton ASKED to be impeached when he sat
before a grand jury, under oath,
and lied his ass off. And then tried to
conspire with his cronies to cover-up the trail of malfeasance.
1. This was after impeachment got rolling - know your history,
2. Clinton was acquitted of that charge - know your history,
3. Clinton's "lies" didn't get 320 brave men killed, but by your
Bush asked to be impeached when he lied about
Iraq's WMDs, right?
Good thing for Bush that the Dems are too
spineless to fight fire with fire.
4. He may have "mislead" the cock-hunters, but legally, it wasn't
Secondly, BartCop, you dumbass, an accusation
is not a conviction
You're the first monkey I've met who knows
that distinction - give that monkey a banana!
...and especially an accusation based on
zero facts, like this "leaking" incident.
No leak has even been established outside
that of Plame's husband himself
If you want
to call Bob Novak an untrustworthy liar, I won't try to stop you, but you'd
have to explain
how Novak knew Plame was CIA if nobody
leaked it to him. Does he see into the future like Bob Barr?
...and Bush has not said there is
a traitor in the white house.
More of your hysterical and hyperbolic
Son, you don't know the facts.
You haven't seen Bush say, "I want to
find the leaker, too"?
Perhaps you should get your "news" from more sources than just
And lastly, Hilliary is doing a rotten job,
just ask any New Yorker outside the city,
and this is merely the latest of her idiotic
attempts at governance.
Sure, you're free to make gratuitous assertions, no matter how
false or stupid they are.
Too bad she kicked that Lazio boy's ass. right? No men
would dare to run against Hillary,
so your team sent in a boy named Ricky to get mangled
and stepped on by Hillary.
Who's "making shit up" ? You, Barty, is
whom. ha ha
Case closed on Mr. BartCop's argument.
Next case please!
Son, you're painfully unaware of the facts.
Please get help before you write again.
Tell you what, send me your street address and I'll send you 50
cents so you can buy a newspaper.
"This new map has saddled Texas taxpayers with
a costly and unnecessary bill -- between $10 million
and $20 million for a political welfare
check for the GOP, all because DeLay can't figure out how to
convince voters to elect Republicans
in Republican-leaning districts. Republicans couldn't find enough
money for children's health care or
new schoolbooks, but they found millions for DeLay's new map.
--State Rep. Jim Dunham, Tom
DeLay's ugly baby
nuts about ugly babies."
October sticker placement contest!
To get your stickers, send a self-addressed envelope to:
PO Box 54466
Tulsa, OK 74155
OR, you could PayPal a small donation and get your stickers
within 48 hours.
stickers are free, but donations are accepted.
Get yours, then send in a digital photo of where you put it.
(Please don't vandalize anything with these stickers)
Here for the best October stickers
Who was behind the effort to get soldiers to sign form letters
Excerpt: Grassroots or
Since Gannett News Service reporter Ledyard
King exposed those identical spammed letters "sent" by soldiers
in Iraq to their hometown newspapers over
the weekend, the silly scam has exploded into the big media.
The five-paragraph letter, which appeared
in at least 11 papers, told of the 503rd Airborne Infantry Regiment's
efforts to bring police, fire, water and
sewer services to the northern city of Kirkuk.
Nobody knows yet who was behind the effort
to get soldiers to sign the form letter and have it published -- but
according to Gannett, at least one soldier
who supposedly signed the letter denies having done so.
We need your help now.
The NRA publishes a list of people, companies,
and causes it believes are "anti-gun." A "blacklist".
We think this list should be seen by more
Americans than just NRA supporters, so we made a website to
showcase it. As you will see, the list
is as all-American as motherhood and apple pie. Every conceivable group
in America is on it, from the NAACP to
the AMA to the American Jewish Congress to Oprah Winfrey to
Bruce Springsteen to the St. Louis Cardinals.
(That's right, the Cardinals. Go figure.)
So click here http://www.nrablacklist.com
to see the NRA's list.
Then add your name to a blacklist that
really is an "honor roll."
The NRA can be defeated with your help.
The time is now, so please join us.
Please forward http://www.nrablacklist.com
to your friends and ask them to join the blacklist too!
Subject: Bart, you know
squat about tigers
Try watching a little Discovery Channel.
Tigers and other big cats don't kill large prey by tearing out their throats...
they kill by squeezing their windpipes
until the prey suffocates.
I don't care if Montecore was living a cosy
a troi with Siegfried and Roy for 10 years...
He's still a tiger... still has tiger instincts...
has an IQ considerably lower than yours... and is ultimately unpredictable.
Why are you so hot to protect the "special"
relationship of Siegfried and Roy to their tigers?
If they were honest about it, they would
simply say working with tigers is a calculated risk and they'd beaten
the odds for 15,000 plus performances.
But that doesn't mean Montecore is a bad pussy, and nobody is
trying to say that. Sheesh, find a new
Yer faithful reader
John, I believe your position is inconsistent.
You say the tigers stuck to their training for 15,000 shows,
then you say a tiger is "ultimately unpredictable."
You seem to be saying I should listen to your opinion of
tigers and ignore that of Siegfried.
It's my opinion they know more about tigers than you, and they
know more about Montecore,
but I respect your opinion and I appreciate you sharing it with
Been reading your site for a while now,
and I have to say congrats. It's really nice to see
a liberal who's not afraid to tell the
truth and speak his mind.
I'm just a High School kid growing up in
Massachussets of all places, and the place is full of
ineffectual, lazy, rich democrat types
who think we should act all civilized and not use dirty
tactics (read: Do Nothing), so it's really
refreshing to see someone who isn't a wussy,
ultra-moderate punching bag with a forum.
It's really fucking amazing how jaded you
get when you're politicized at a young age in the age of Bush.
I've become a crotchety old man at age
15. My parents grew up in the 60s, and are always talking about
keeping your head up and shit, but if they
can steal an election once, what's to stop them from doing it again,
especially in their current position of
power, and with the constant post-9/11 propaganda machine working
in their favor? I mean, you can get
a nationally syndicated radio or television show and go on and call
Chelsea Clinton the white house dog, or
say we should "keep the wetbacks out of the country", but you
get pulled for being anti-war, or making
a factual claim about Bush being an AWOL S.O.B.
What really pisses me off is how the far
right try to position themselves as "friends" of all the people they
screw regularly. They pay a lot of
lip service to supporting the Police, Firemen, Military, etc., while
simultantiously cutting their funding and
sending troops to die in a fake, unnessecary war.
One more thing. I'm a fan of Garbage
and all, but seriously, where do you get ALL those pictures of
Shirley Manson? I'm not trying to
criticize, I just didn't know she even HAD so many photos taken of her.
Sorry for the disjointed nature of this
letter. I've been meaning to write for a long time, so my ideas just
sorta kept piling up. Keep the Hammer
swinging, or whatever the saying is (I'm a newbie). And enjoy
savoring Rush's troubles. I know
us home now; we're dying for oil and corporate greed
CFTM-- "How are you today? Resting I hope?"
USA-- "Can't sleep for shit and I have horrible
nightmares when I do sleep. I might be lucky to catch an hour
at a time before the nightmares wake me
CFTM-- "Did you see a lot of your buddies
get killed? How did it affect you?"
USA-- "How the hell do you think it affected
me? I saw over 30 of the men I had to keep safe die, and over
100 get wounded and not come back. I still
don't know if some of the wounded men made it or not. I was
never told before I came back home."
CFTM-- "So it really was awful and as bad
as some returning troops have claimed?"
USA-- "It was like a long trip to hell that
you knew you might return from. Of course it is as bad as the soldiers
say it is. Hell it's even worse if the
truth has to come out. It's a constant fucking nightmare trying to figure
where the guerillas are going to hit, how
to keep the civilians calm, and also getting enough water and food to eat.
We had to go to some Iraqi people and
trade socks and underwear for some food and water."
Who is the extremely-biased "reporter" that CNN has covering the
Kobe Bryant hearing?
Good Lord, she makes Nancy Grace seem like a Kobe defense
She called Pamela Mackey "a terrorist" for using the accuser's
name, and she just said "Kobe is presumed guilty!"
She said there's no way Kobe and the alleged victim are
on the same moral plane, because Kobe was guilty!
...and I thought Kobe couldn't get a fair trial in all-white Eagle
Jesus, I expect nothing but whores when I turn on CNN or
FOX News, but they apparently have decided
to do away with any pretense of fairness and just please
the crowd with this, "We all know he did it,"
Her name is Wendy, I think, and she's laying the groundwork for
the accuser to sue Kobe's lawyers
for the actions they take defending their client. Christ, woman,
put your Kobe-hatred in neutral for a moment.
I gotta tell you, I'm really old, and I follow the media more
than most, and I've never seen anything like this.
CNN knows more people will watch a Kobe lynching than some bullshit
"fair trial," so they're giving the
viewers not the facts, but what they perceive as the spin
the majority of viewers would like to see.
Watching the media spin itself farther
away from the truth and the facts every day,
Will they continue to try to out-whore
each other, getting worse by the hour?
What will be the status of the media in
five years? In ten years?
That's nothing new, but shouldn't we let the hearing finish (screw
the trial) before we lynch Kobe?
American soldier body count in Iraq
Last issue it was
....this issue it's
of our boys since last issue.
Soon, we'll be at 400.
How long before we hit 600?
How long before we hit 1000?
Total deaths since President Giggles said, "Bring
1831 wounded - WOW!
16 more wounded?
and many of them are missing arms, legs and eyes.
How much more are we willing to tolerate?
Something on your mind?
You have two minutes to speak your piece.
to meet his boy, Arnold
Bush departed for California on Wednesday
to meet with Gov.-elect Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Bush will be there for a two-day stopover
en route toAsia and Australia.
While in California, he'll give two speeches
on the economy and attend a pair of re-election fund-raisers.
The White House is hoping the action star's
victory last week bodes well for Bush's campaign in 2004.
The meeting takes place on Thursday.
I hope Arnold has plenty of Chap Stick.
So if you have something important, something, that can't
wait, send it to Sam at email@example.com
She has my phone numbers and can reach me right away.
Can't get in the members section?
to reach Sam at her new address.
Have a good time today - that's not
just a suggestion, it's damn good advice...
Use this portal
and they'll throw bartcop.com four cents.
. .. .
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Shirley in a previous band?
call The BartPhone, just
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You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Joint
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