Subscribe to Bartcop
Quote of the Day
"We were right to liberate Iraq with or without
I agree with Perle. If Halliburton builds "Bunnypants
"I worked for Colin Powell. I like him. I worked
around Rumsfeld and Cheney when
I was a White House fellow. And I never wanted to see America fail, no matter who's
in charge. Like most Americans, I wanted that team to succeed. You know what?
They haven't made it. They were failing even then. They're failing even worse today."
--Wesley Clark, attacking the illegal B.F.E.E., yet sounding presidential Attribution
In retaliation, American troops backed by Bradley fighting vehicles swept through Iraqi
neighborhoods before dawn Saturday, blasting houses suspected of being insurgent
hideouts with machine guns and heavy weapons fire.
"This is to remind the town that we have teeth
and claws and we will use them," said
Lt. Col. Steven Russell, commander of the 1st Battalion, 22nd Infantry Regiment.
This might be the ugliest story I've written
about in almost eight years on the job.
If someone thinks they might've seen a woodchuck, we're blasting "suspected" homes
to pieces and murdering anyone who had the bad luck to be inside sleeping that night..
The whole world knows we have "teeth
and claws," but it's too bad the whole
also knows we don't use them with any kind of discretion or restraint.
In true Dubya style, they're not attacking
the people who attacked us.
They're attacking the people they can find.
It's like My Lai, but with walls instead of grass huts.
Why are we doing this?
"War is good. The media loves me. I'm the man!
This is my big chance! I'm a big war hero!"
Iraqi Doctors Dismiss Lynch Bio's Rape Claims
Iraqi doctors who treated former prisoner of war Jessica Lynch dismissed on Friday
claims made in her biography that she was raped by her Iraqi captors.
Although Lynch said she has no memory of
the sexual assault, medical records cited in
her book' indicate that she was raped by her Iraqi captors, Dr. Mahdi Khafazji, an orthopedic
surgeon at Nasiriyah's main hospital performed surgery on Lynch to repair a fractured femur
and said he found no signs that she was raped or sodomized.
Khafazji, speaking at his private clinic
in Nasiriyah, said he examined her extensively and
would have detected signs of sexual assault. He said the examination turned up no trace of semen.
Jesus, what a mess.
Can't anybody get a story right when it comes to this woman?
Subject: Jessica's "rape"
You believe this crap!!? The Iraqi
drs. who cared for her said she was not raped.
The people who are telling you she was raped are the same assholes who said she
went down firing her weapon to the last bullet and all the other horseshit associated
with this phony story in the first place, and, all of a sudden -- on this point but no other
-- you believe these shitmeisters -- talk about an unnacountable misfiring of the synapses.
Alto, you caught me - I'm a tool for the B.F.E.E.
A pretty blonde invader/attacker was helpless and in the
hands of enemy combatants.
We should assume they treated her with integrity and dignity?
Look at today's top headline:
Our military is blowing up homes - in the middle of the night - of suspected insurgents.
We play by those rules, but we should expect the invadees to treat lady POW's with respect?
It seems we have three options:
I could go back in time, steal a million dollars, then put some Iraqi kid thru medical school
and after he becomes a Doctor, be sure he's working that night when Jessica was brought in.
That way, we could get a full and accurate report, but even then, we'd have to trust somebody.
Right off, that doesn't seem to be the best plan.
I could wait a week between
issues - that way the dust would settle and the lying whores
could settle on what their story is going to be before any comments are posted at bartcop.com
This option is certainly more workable than Option One.
I could ask readers to understand
I can't see into the future.
The reason you can claim you didn't "believe the shitmeisters" is because you didn't publish
your reaction to the news of the day to be read by others, only to have the "facts" change a day
or two later. It's easy to take the position, "I knew all along," if you don't publish daily.
For all we know, Monday they'll discover proof she was raped, so all we can do is work
with the "facts" we have.
Which of these options do you think I should work on?
"For a $75 donation, the DNC will send you
(Franken's) smear book. That's pretty dignified, isn't it?
Why don't they buy Alan Colmes' new book, which doesn't smear anyone but puts forth the liberal cause?"
--Bill O'Reilly, asking us to buy a book by a FOX News whore Attribution
I think it's great that you're so open about
being an atheist.
I, too, don't believe in the Invisible Sky Pixie, and I somehow manage to lead a good, moral life.
It seems to me that true Christians should
not be wasting their time attacking you for your beliefs.
They should be mad as hell at the Illegal Boy King for using the Sky Pixie to justify the slaughter in Iraq,
the invasion of women's reproductive organs, and the theft of billions through war profiteering.
You're not asking your Christian readers
to convert to atheism, so what's their problem?
I think people who argue about their religion
being the "real" religion reflect the idea
that deep down they're scared, and they wonder if they bet on the right religion.
That's why "showboat" religious people claim
they can't pray in school - that's simply a lie.
That's why "showboat" religious people demand to be seen praying, so others can watch in awe.
That's why "showboat" religious people demand that a shiny golden calf be displayed at the County Courthouse.
"I want that oil!"
Homeland Security is warning law-enforcement officers al-Qaida may be plotting to fly
cargo planes from another country into such crucial targets in the United States as nuclear
plants, bridges or dams, an agency official said Friday night.
Too bad America doesn't have some kind of home-based pilots that
patrol the air with fighter jets
that could shoot down attacking planes. Yeah, one day we should get some of that, and maybe we
could call it the Air National Guard. That way, when Al Qaeda takes a few hours to destroy buildings
and murder thousands, we could have these pilots go up and stop them.
It's such a good idea, I wonder why nobody thought of it before?
Subject: Jessica Lynch movie
Bart, now that Jessica has stated that the
movie is factually inaccurate
is Fox News going to sponsor a boycott?
There's always tons of fun stuff there.
How to be a Left-Wing Radio Talk Show Host
9) I TOLD YOU SO (TAKING CREDIT)
You can never be humble, although you must
say you are. Always take credit as being at the forefront,
if not totally responsible, for any positive change in the world. When anything happens as you have said
they would, take thunderous credit. When things don't happen the way you forecasted they would happen,
ignore it. And for God's sake, don't ever apologize.
Bush, irritated by questions from congressional Democrats about how he is using taxpayer money,
has developed an efficient solution: It will not entertain any more questions from opposition lawmakers.
They said this would limit "duplicate requests" and help answer questions "in a timely fashion."
It would also do another thing: prevent
Democrats from getting questions answered without the
blessing of the GOP committee chairmen.
"It's saying we're not going to allow the opposition
party to ask questions about the way we use tax money,"
said R. Scott Lilly, Democratic staff director for the House committee. "As far as I know, this is without modern precedent."
Why is our side so afraid to fight back?
We can't blame this on Bush - he's going to steal and kill all he can until someone says "Stop!"
If nobody ever says stop, he'll continue stealing and killing like he's done for three years.
Greens debate: Should Ralph Nader run in 2004?
The Greens have realized -- somewhat belatedly -- that the Bush presidency is unhealthy
for their vital planetary concerns and probably shouldn't continue for a second term.
According to Micah Sifry's report in the Nation, some Greens worry about the
consequences of another Ralph Nader campaign next year -- and others even doubt the
wisdom of any third-party presidential campaign in 2004 at all.
Click for great Christmas gift ideas!
Subject: Truth is paramount
When you keep claiming that Jessica Lynch
is a hero, you're going against her wishes.
(And let's get it straight right here - I do not hate Jessica Lynch).
Real heroes don't ask to be called that.
That's why it was so ugly when Bush pretended to be a war hero on The Lincoln.
According to Diane Sawyer, Lynch's book
cites a medical record as indicating that Lynch was raped.
I suppose these records come from the same people who Jessica says "made things up" about her
being a hero, and her "rescue". And if Iraqis "broke her bones' and raped her, how and why would
they take her to hospital, and risk exposure? If they hated her that badly, wouldn't they just kill her
and get rid of the evidence? Who would have known what happened?
Lynch said the Iraqi hospital personnel
were very nice to her.
Why would they fabricate evidence that makes Iraqi's look like murdering rapist dogs?
Plus, "medical records" could've been from doctors on either or both sides.
Hell, maybe she's faking the broken bones, too.
Neither of us knows how she got to the hospital.
I believe the ambush happened in town - maybe some neighbors came to her rescue.
You seem to have a belligerent attitude against her, me or both of us.
It's your coverage and opinions like this
-"There are times when I don't want to be right"
that make even your stoutest supporter doubt your judgement.
I wrote that she would probably be raped
by the Iraqi soldiers and that I hoped I was wrong.
Why does that make you doubt my judgment?
In this time of lies, when you put your
faith (backed up by deeds) in people, you can only pray
that they're honest, and deserving of your trust. I hope that of you.
If I tell a lie, I'm sure you'll write and call me on it.
Have I told lies?
A federal commission investigating 9-11 voted Friday to subpoena the Pentagon
for documents related to the activities of U.S. air defenses on the day of the terrorist hijackings.
The independent (Oh,
don't get me started...) commission said it
was "especially dismayed" by
incomplete document production on the part of NORAD, the part of the Defense Department
responsible for protecting North American airspace.
Lee Hamilton will make sure we don't get the facts.
Hamilton will steer this committee everywhere except towards the truth.
He will cover for the B.F.E.E. no matter what it takes.
Click to Enter
Need sound clips, promos and IDs
Please send in jingles and "Bart will
be right back" - kinda
Mick the Voice - I need all of that you can send me.
Please send those to firstname.lastname@example.org
If we use your stuff, free membership is the least I can offer in return.
I find it grimly ironic that Bush Sr. won
the first gulf war but lost the election due to the bad economy,
and Dubya's going to lose the election despite a strong economy, because of the loss in Iraq.
"President Bush is not the Democrats' enemy
- he's our president. After 9/11, Bush didn't
wring his hands wondering what America had done wrong to provoke an attack.' War was
brought to us, and it's a war we have to win. We need to have bipartisan support for the
war on terror...Our enemy are al Qaeda, Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein"
--Gov. George (Wacky) Pataki, attacking those who question the need to murder Baghdad Attribution
Hey Wacky, Al Qaeda and Osama are our enemies.
Saddam was a former partner in B.F.E.E. crimes, remember?
"My good friend, Saddam," Rummy says.
We don't know why the B.F.E.E. made screwing Saddam a priority,
but they've admitted it has nothing to do with 9-11.
I'll bet if Bush would release Reagan's presidential papers we;d
but the B.F.E.E. can't let the light of truth shine on their murderous past.
Clark Says Bremer Should Be Replaced
What also set Clark apart from the Democratic field was his call for Bremer to be replaced by a
non-American in charge of a new Iraqi Reconstruction and Democracy Council, which would include
Americans and their allies. In his speech, Clark did not explicitly call for Bremer to be fired, but he did so
during an interview with ABC's "Good Morning America."
When Iraq has been plundered of every drop of oil, then Bush will allow the UN and NATO to take over.
A full service 24 track recording studio, serving all of your recording
Located 20 minutes from Columbus Ohio.
Here's a review bart
Keep up the good work
*** (Out of five)
I find your layout simple but extremely
effective and easy to read during breaks.
As a moderate, I certainly enjoy getting a perspective that differs from the nightly news,
but give only three stars because of the negative attacks and outlook.
I'd like to see more proposed solutions
and information on the candidates views
rather than all out attacks constantly, and also notice you haven't been focused on
the environment lately as much.
Joel, with almost 1200 issues, I've explained my position on every matter except gerrymandering.
As far as solutions, I've got 'em.
The BartCop Tax Plan would've fixed the economy years ago.
I figured out how to fix campaign finance, but it's too fair, so they won't have it.
I proposed a way to stop the war in the Middle East but religion trumps staying alive.
I'd be happy to offer an opinion on other topics.
I'm not sure about the "all out attacks constantly," because I get mail asking me to
knock off the movie reviews, VCR alerts, tequila tastings, travel reports and the like.
And working to defeat Bush is my way of helping the environment.
CBS Boss Donates Testicles to Reagan Library
Subject: Rep Pete Stark on CNBC
I watch CNBC and they just interviewed Rep.
Pete Stark of Calif. and boy did
he light a fire under Bush's ass. Called him an "idiot" and some other names and
said he's ruining the country. He was asked if we should be "patient" in Iraq and
he said "we could've been patient in Vietnam and we would have 150,000 names
on the Vietnam Memorial instead of 50,000".
One of the CNBC hacks, Steve Liesman (R-Filthy
rich) was actually visibly offended
by some of what he was saying. I wish I taped it because this is must-see... a democrat
who doesn't wear a tu-tu.
It was on around 9:10am (eastern time) Friday
morning if there is some way
you can get a hold of the tape somewhere.
to walk these boot right over
to bartcop.com and become a member
so I can hear BartCop Radio
Click Here to subscribe
"You've got policemen and firefighters and
people who wear our nation's uniform
remind us what it means to sacrifice for something greater than yourself. Once again
the children of America believe in heroes because they see them every day."
--Dubya, evoking 9/11, at another campaign fund-raiser Attribution
I'm a hero!
That's an order."
If you want your website to get noticed,
spend an afternoon in Manhattan.
Every eighth building in NYC is under construction and all of the plywood has advertisements.
If you Bartified three blocks you could expose Bartcop.com to around 70K folks in two weeks,
which is how long it will take before your efforts are completely plastered over.
Presumably those who like it will tell others.
Thanks - I have half a mind to cover Nazi-Con 2004 in NY in September, 11 months from now.
Prince Charles Sex Scandal
This is the first English-language website willing to risk the wrath of the House of Windsor
Cashmere Sweaters and Leather Accessories Ltd., by publishing ALL the salacious, bawdy,
erotic, smutty, pornographic, raunchy, shameless bedroom, bathroom, shower-head, maidenhead
and bidet allegations about Prince Charles and his "squeezed toothpaste tube" servant slave that
U.K. and U.S. papers are too wimpish to print!
Subject: Double standard
When the TV movie "DC 9/11" was filled with
and bald-faced lies, the apologists on the right said nothing.
Now "The Reagans" comes along, telling the
truth about one of America's
worst presidents, and conservatives are whining that it lacks sufficient spin.
This is moral relativism in its purest form.
David, it always comes back to the Democrats being unwilling to fight.
Was the NYWTimes caught covering for Bush again?
Bart, here's the text of an email sent to
the New York Times today.
Let's see if they reply...
After reading the lead story in yesterday's online edition,
"Published: November 2, 2003 Associated Press
Rescue crews at the scene after a U.S. Chinook helicopter was shot down west of Baghdad on Sunday."
I reviewed the story at the Washington Post
and the LA Times online editions; and, although you shared
the same wire story, I noted a difference between those two online versions and yours. The Post and
Times omitted the following paragraph:
"U.S. troops told journalists to leave the area
and confiscated their film as another military medical helicopter
with a red cross sign on its side landed, sending up clouds of dust from the dry scrubland."
Returning to the New York Times online version
(50 minutes later) I found an altered version of the original posting,
omitting the paragraph in question.
Can you explain this, as I failed to locate
online a notice of correction.
Mr Rove called the Times, angry that they posted the truth and demanded they play ball.
Since the B.F.E.E. owns the media, the Whore Times had no choice but to comply.
BartCop reader Tristan has an art web page
Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
Last issue it was..
....this issue it's
Please vote for me. I'm a military jenius.
We're almost at 400.
How long before we hit 600?
...and then 1000?
Total deaths since President Giggle and Kill said, "Bring
Plus, at least
2195 wounded for Bush's oil snatch.
Many of them are missing arms, legs and eyes.
How much more are we willing to tolerate?
If you have paid for an ad this year on bartcop.com
we would like to make you a free commercial for BartCop Radio.
If you'd like to take advantage of this offer, send your ad copy to email@example.com
Note: Don't send audio there - Yahoo mailboxes are so small, it'll
just bounce back to you.
Use firstname.lastname@example.org for audio, and use email@example.com for your free ad copy
Subject: Windows XP for Bart
Jeesh! If Bart needs Windows XP software
and can't afford it, let me know and I'll buy it and send it to him!
Holy-Moly! All he has to do is ask, or make it known! Letting the sight go down because he's trying to cut corners
by using a 'bootleg' copy is pretty lame considering the importance of what he's doing, don't ya think?
Ya need to give' im a boot in the ass!
Bob, if that's what you read on bartcop.com
I'm the world's worst writer.
(Well, that could be true regardless...) I paid for Windows XP but I got a bootleg, instead.
When Microsteal's patches wouldn't install, Marc Perkel discovered
I'd been swindled.
So I went out and bought XP and in a few days, we're going to wipe the C drive clean for the third time since
April and re-install the dozens of programs that are needed for bartcop.com and BartCop Radio.
Thanks for the offer.
November sticker placement contest!
How to win:
To get your stickers, send a self-addressed envelope to:
bartcop.com PO Box 54466 Tulsa, OK 74155
OR, you could PayPal a small donation and get your stickers within 48 hours.
stickers are free, but donations are accepted.
Get yours, then send in a digital photo of where you put it.
Click Here for the best October stickers
Winner gets Joe Conason's book, Al Franken's book or your
choice of a subscription
to Maxim Magazine (Maxim has no nudity) or any similarly priced book or magazine.
Send Bart a sticker pic
"There is freedom growing in Iraq.
I was there for four months.
I saw the economy grow.
I saw the electricity grow.
I saw the schools open.
I saw the hospitals open."
-- Former NYC Police Commissioner Bernard Kerik, Attribution
Hey Bernie, how many flag-draped coffins did you see?
How many kids will grow up without a Daddy because Bush couldn't control his oil lust,
and the Democrats didn't have the courage to tell the Imposter President, "No!"
Subject: The South
I am a bartcop reader from S.C. and a proud
I suppose you want me and others like me to stop reading your page.
Stop with the generalizations (the South is full of toothless idiots) or you are
no better than the pricks that make generalizations about all liberals like Rush and Sean Vanity.
Pete, only one of us has launched a personal attack on the other.
Catching up on back mail, I got a LOT
of these, including one from Australia explaining to me what the American South is really like.
I guess you're right.
From my moated castle estate north of Boston, I have no idea what Southerners are like.
I really should stick to subjects I know something about.
By the way, there's just one asshole here.
If you have something important send it to Sam at firstname.lastname@example.org
Can't get in the members section? Sam can help.
Subject: Bush and caskets
In one of your recent issues i read that
bush has not once visited the wounded soldiers
or flagged drapped caskets. I am trying to prove a point to a "friend" who is a diehard conservative.
Do you have any articles on this if so can you send me the link I would greatly appreciate it.
Tom, Bush visited wounded soldiers at Walter
Reed long enough to pose for the photo op,
but to my knowledge he has never attended memorial services for individual soldiers.
I wish I had a link for you.
Something on your mind?
Then listen for your voice on...
You have two minutes to speak your piece.
Subject: when you live in a glass house
"...........those uneducated, backwards southerners......"
Obviously, we don't have a monopololy on
Take Bartcop, for instance............
No, I live in a moated castle estate north of Boston.
Like with the Howard Dean "outrage," I just
don't get this.
Would everyone feel better if I said the states that Bush carried contain
people who aren't smart enough to vote in their own best interests?
Why are dirt poor people voting for tax
cuts for Bill Gates?
What should my attitude towards Dixie flag waving yokels be?
If you said, "Oklahoma
is full of uneducated, backwards southerners,"
I wouldn't get mad because it's the truth. We send Jim Inhofe to Washington after every election.
Jesus Christ couldn't beat Inhofe - even if he played football for the top-ranked Oklahoma Sooners.
Are you angry people hung up on "the South?"
Do you think Oklahoma is not "in" the South?
Have a good time today.
Sometimes the peach truck fails to start and you get a second
Don't waste a day - not one.
And whatever you do, never quit!
Use this portal and they'll throw bartcop.com four cents.
Click to Order
... ... ... .. .. . .....
Krugman Wellstone Franken Palecek Conason Moore Turkel
Bart uses ctyme.com hosting because it's the best!
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2003, bartcop.com
If your GOP workplace doesn't want you to
see the truth, use these mirrors.
Shrl, call The BartPhone,
just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Joint on your next American tour.
bartcop.com and BartCop are trademarks of attempts