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is finally here!!!
22 is up - this time Hannity
gets the boot.
Quote of the Day
"You don't make policy by taunting the enemy.
"From Lincoln to Nixon, our leaders have always
paid respects to the dead heroes and consoled the living...
George W. Bush, our president who wants everyone to know he is the commander in chief, has yet to attend
a single funeral for any of the soldiers he sent off to die for our country...I can hear the Bush re-election
machine chirping, "As long as the president doesn't attend any funerals -- as long as he isn't pictured next to
a soldier's casket or consoling a grieving widow -- then it's America's war, not his." That's it in a nutshell;
Bush doesn't go to service members' funerals because it's not good for his re-election campaign."
--Philip S. Manson, Attribution
Something ominous is happening when the United States reports its biggest surge in productivity
in 20 years, as it did Wednesday, and yet the dollar plunges to an all-time low against the euro.
The dollar is sinking these days on good
news and bad, and the explanation is pretty simple:
Investors around the world are worried that the Bush administration's policies are eroding the
value of the U.S. currency. So they're rushing to unload greenbacks, in what could soon
become a full-blown financial crisis.
"The dollar crisis is the story," warns James
Harmon, an investment banker who headed the
Export-Import Bank during the Clinton administration. "A lot of smart money has moved out
of the dollar in the last six months," he explains. "Now the latecomers are rushing to sell, and
that's adding to the momentum."
Right after Clinton won the election - before
he had even had a chance to take the oath,
economists said we had an extra-good Christmas because they knew help was on the way.
After he was swore in, Wall Street saw he
was paying down the deficit. This gave them
some incentive to bet on America, and others flocked to bet on America, too.
The reverse is true about the wild-spending
Wall Street is afraid to bet on him because he brought back the Reag-Bush decifits.
And other countries certainly won't bet on America because what have we become?
An out-of-control bully who nobody can stop from stealing the world's assets.
This will continue until America gets the vote back from the Supreme Court.
"Some of the other members of the NASCAR champion
crew are here, as well.
Where are they, Robbie? Where are the members of your crew?
Well, they musta couldn't pass the security check."
--Moron, White House, Dec. 2, 2003 Attribution
I just thought of something:
If he's this stupid straight and sober, what was he like drunk and coked up?
Cheering for the turkey and stuffing body bags
Repeatedly through the long holiday weekend we saw the president holding a great platter of turkey and trimmings,
dressed up like a GI Joe doll in some kind of nonregulation Army jacket, posing for pictures, bravely facing a fusillade
of flashbulbs triggered by the adoring kids he sent to risk their lives. Then he left them and came home. They didn't.
They are still there today. The cameras are gone but some of them are dying, out of reach of a photo op - a quiet trickle
of death, a little at a time. Bush and his turkey filled the news hole on C- SPAN. Pictures of kids in Walter Reed, without
their legs, is not Thanksgiving fare. And when the kids die and come back home in flag-draped coffins, the cameras that
courted George W. Bush turn their backs, by order, on the caskets. And we - a lot of us in America - don't care."
Bush says all those limbs are gone and all those men are dead
and all that flesh is burned because he have to fight terra.
That's what he says...
Bush lifted tariffs on foreign steel Thursday, choosing to face the wrath of steelworkers in states key
to his re-election rather than risk a global trade war. Bush imposed the tariffs in March 2002.
They were to continue until 2005. But the WTO ruled that they violated global trade agreements.
It authorized the European Union, Japan and other countries to retaliate with duties on U.S. products.
The 15-nation EU was set to hit $2.2 billion
worth of U.S. goods exported to Europe - including citrus,
apparel, rice and apples - with penalties on Dec. 15. Japan also had threatened sanctions.
...but the crazy Chimp still declared victory, and the networks and newspapers and Nazi talk radio
will echo that false message until a majority of people too busy to get into the news believes it.
Too bad there are no Demnocrats ion capitol
Hill who feel like speaking out.
Can we erase the whole lot of them and replace them with Democrats willing to work?
A special bonus 'Disinfotainment Today' presents 'Zen Bastard' by Paul Krassner
'Louisiana Live' (http://www.louisianalive.net) probes Chimpy's National Guard record today @ 3:05 - 3:30pm (CST)
A complete list of all Grammy nominations
'A Barry Manilow Christmas: Live By Request' on A&E tonight
(Oh, pinch me - I must be dreaming!)
The movie that made Hitler ban MGM on TCM tonight
Bill Clinton & Jim Brady
Jack & Diane
Cable news ratings rebounding
Carson's Goodyear Blimp crash
Oetzi has his own igloo
And, David Hemmings
Bart, at 12:00 minutes into Show 22-c, you said:
> Where else but Hannity can you find a bunch of sexual deviants?
is up and it's our best show ever!
Tommy made my Rush's ear into a silk purse.
I'll put a sample online if I ever get this page finished.
Retailers say start of season not jolly
It's official: The start of the holiday shopping season was lukewarm, casting a shadow over
the critical final quarter for retailers. While sales were solid for the Thanksgiving weekend, the
ceremonial kickoff of the holiday season, sales for the full month of November were hardly robust.
November sales at stores open at least a
year, a key measure of growth, were up a modest 3.2%,
show data from retailers released Thursday by sales-tracker Redbook. That was a turnaround from
the 1.6% November decline that opened last year's season but brought gains for the year to just 2.2%.
How does a story like this get printed in an American newspaper?
Didn't they get Mr Rove's memo?
The media is supposed to lie and cover for the never-elected chump.
Somebody will be tied to a treat and whipped for this.
Subject: Subscriber opinion
Frankly, Bart, I don't think you are treated
very well by your 'supposed' fans. What is everyone's deal?
Granted I have only been reading your blog since toostupidtobepresident stole his way into the white house, so I can't
attest to the quality of your columns in the 90's. I read your column every day. It makes me laugh and feel slightly
reassured that SOMEBODY is taking to these rat bastards. But, if you don't post that day, I go on with my life.
Hey, I'll drink to that.
Your initial radio broadcasts were rough,
but hell, you're doing them out of your home. BCR is steadily improving.
If the new Democratic radio network were smart, they would offer you and Malloy a job. My fear is they'll be
'Daschle-like', i.e. timid. Probably steal Alan Colmes from the Fascist News Network and put him on.
To tell the
Koresh's honest truth?
I sincerely thought the radio gig would consist of hooking up a $40 microphone to my Gates-Mobile,
and suddenly I'd be DJ Boy. It was another bartcop.com error.
I love her and I'll never forget her question,
when Lynn asked, "Bart, you say your bad-ass
multi-channel mixing board has 99 buttons and slides? Would any of them be labeled ...'Volume'?"
There was no need for a sarcasm button that day.
Sometimes you're profane, sometimes vulgar,
sometimes over the top, always Bart. Just means you are human
like the rest of us with good days, bad days, ups and downs. Don't understand folks who say 'I didn't like what you
wrote so I'm never reading you again' or 'I didn't like what you said so I'm canceling my 10cents/d subscription.'
That's the difference between us and the repugs.
As an owner of 2.5 establishments that served
alcohol to the public, I'm rarely surprised by human nature but yes,
some arguments are beyond me. If somene writes and says, "I hate Shirley and her music," I would feel sorry
for the pleasure that the writer would miss due to his miscalculation, but I wouldn't have an obsession to call him
a "faggot" because they had different musical tastes than me.
Progressives go off on tangents and repugs
stay on point. Guess I'm going on a tangent now.
What would make me cancel my subscription? If you started drifting rightward. If you were a
right-winger, you'd probably be rolling in the cash, with Asian hookers coming to your room for free sex
(can you believe that sh*t? The BFEE gets a free pass again).
It boils down to this: I enjoy reading your
columns as long as you enjoy writing them, whenever they are posted.
Daily, every other day, weekly, biweekly, monthly, whatever.
Another Day in Headache City
So I'm working on Friday's page, when my mouse refuses to copy
- so I can't paste.
I'd scroll over a paragraph, and it would either let me have the first half or the second half,
but no way, even after repeat re-boots and a defrag would it ler me copy anything.
Fortunately, a very generous reader named Randy, who works
for Microsoft, sent me
a copy of Windows XP Pro, so I installed that and that problem went away.
But for some reason, it wiped out my sound drivers, so I can't
hear anything and I certainly
can't record anything. That gives me a headache.
I'll try some things, but odds are I'll have to buy another sound
card which is OK because
they only cost $200 dollars that I've already spent once, and that gives me a second headache.
You thought I was kidding when I said I needed a full-time tech
person on-site. If the new
sound card doesn't work, I may have to to fly Tommy back to Tulsa and feeding him and
keeping him in Jack Black with Diet Coke is expensive. I'll tell you, it's enough to force
the creation of another Bart's Law.
Nothing is easy.
If you discover that you need a $3 extension cord from Wal-Mart, I guarantee it will take you
days to get it and it will cost over a thousand dollars. First, you get in your car to go to the
stupid Wal-Mart, but the car doesn't start so a friend gives you a ride to Sears where you
buy a new Diehard battery, but your car still won't start. So you pay AAA to drag the lifeless
sled to a mechanic who says you need a new starter, but the local supplier is out until Monday
so you have to rely on your friend to take you to work tomorrow.
Monday comes and the mechanic says he got
slammed over the weekend and it'll be Tuesday
before you can get your car back. So Tuesday that same friend who's been so helpful gives you
another ride to the mechanic. You thank him as he drives away just before the mechanic tells you
they sent the wrong starter but he can have your car ready by Wednesday if the ignorant bastard
at Pep Boys sends the right starter this time.
Wednesday they finally get the car started,
but the mechanic says your timing belt is about to break
and if it does, you'll need a new engine. So you pay him another $900 for a new timing belt because
if you don't, a new timing belt and a new engine is going to set you back about $2800.
All you wanted was a damn $3 extension cord from Wal-Mart, and you're already $1200 in debt.
This is what life is like for most people,
but a super-rich bastard like George Bush doesn't know that.
He grew up thinking, "If my blue Lexus won't start, I'll just take the red one and tell that spic who's
married to the upstairs maid to have the car fixed and send the bill to the B.F.E.E. bookkeepers."
He's never worked a day in his gold-plated
life and he's got no idea what it's like to have to earn a paycheck
because he was born super-rich on third base. The idea that he should be appointed the most powerful man
on the planet by his daddy's rich friends is just another day in the life of the man who giggles when he
murders someone. ...but you and I know that nothing is easy in this world.
Subject: He laughed, I cried
When I read this quote in yesterday's issue from the badly burned soldier:
> ...did he want to find a girl (he's only 20)
and get married and he laughed
> and said, "Sure, but she'll have to love me for what's inside because
> there's not much outside to be attracted to."
It made the pain much more personal.
I sat at my computer and cried.
I have never been so deeply effected by a line on a computer screen.
And I've never hated the entire Bush Team
Just voting him out isn't enough, he must be held accountable.
When you see the soldier's brave reaction
to their destroyed lives, how can you not
ask yourself, "Was their sacrifice worth the extra safety America has from terrorism?"
We're no safer than we were on 9-12-01, but the BFEE is billions or trillions richer from this war.
Some day someone will ask,
"Bart, what's the one thing that everyone should take away from a visit to your page?"
The answer is...
Any time a person or entity makes a "mistake" that puts extra money in their pocket,
expect them to make that "mistake" again and again and again.
Each time America is "forced" to defend themselves, a shit-load of brave men die and the BFEE get richer
Some day someone will ask,
"But Bart, what's the defense against that?
First, you don't allow a never-worked-a-day-in-his-life
Chimp to have that kind of life and death responsibility.
Second, if his greedy daddy is heavily betting long on war, the son will deliver to please his dad because
he won't worry so much about the thousands of families destroyed by death, amputation or burnt flesh.
If I was smarter, I could deliver an estimate
of the dead-to-billions ratio that exists between America's finest
put thru the meat grinder and the billions the B.F.E.E. has reaped from Dubya's fake war. And lest we forget, when
president murder-and-giggle had a chance to kill Charlie in Vietnam, he chose to desert, drink, snort and screw, instead.
America where are you now?
Don't you care about your sons and daughters?
Don't you know we need you now.
We can't fight alone against this monster
I'm certainly no John Lennon,
but I have blisters on my fingers.
"On Thanksgiving Day, over a turkey, a relative
told me that George W. Bush had gone to Iraq.
"Great!" I said. "That's marvelous!" But then my spirits sank. It turned out he was coming back.
To show you the miserable shape the country is in, the president's grandstand, hot-dog, two-hour
photo-op in Baghdad silenced the Democrats for three whole days. Alas, there may be no hope
for the Democrats. They didn't have enough bulge in their Jockey shorts to brand Bush's visit
what it was: a cheap publicity stunt."
--Dick Feagler, Cheering for the turkey and stuffing body bags
by Molly Ivins
No one has been waiting with bated breath for me to make up my mind about the Demo candidates,
but I have, and you might be interested in how I got there. I'm for Howard Dean -- because he's going to win.
Dean gives a hell of a speech -- even if you're Republican, you should go and hear him just for the experience.
But I fretted about Dean on TV -- TV is so important. How could anyone poker up on Margaret Carlson of PBS,
not one of the world's toughest interviewers? But then I saw Dean laugh his way through a Chris Matthews interview
(which he should have done with Tim Russert, who was hell-bent on gotcha questions), and I know the guy can take
care of himself. So he fights back if you get in his face -- that's not all bad.
Great Christmas Gifts
"I honestly believe that global warming is
the greatest single hoax perpetrated on the American people.
We're talking about protecting a little minnow that I bait my hook with. These far-left, environmental
extremist groups have moved in and have a lock on these Democrats."
-- Oklahoma's biggest embarrassment, Jim Inhofe (R-Pissquik) Attribution
If you have something important send it to Sam at firstname.lastname@example.org
Can't get in the members section? Sam can help.
Tally the Weather Vixen has solved all the problems I could find.
She's finishing a five year stint as a customer supporterette, and she
knew everything and she knew what to do so now we're back on track.
Rush says good-looking women are stoopid, but we know that's not true.
Click to Enter
Kerry: Bush administration arrogant, reckless
"I fear that in the run-up to the 2004 election the administration is considering what is tantamount
to a cut-and-run strategy," he said. Prospects for success on the ground in Iraq, he said, would be
far greater if the civilian administrator, Paul Bremer, and the Coalition Provisional Authority were
replaced by a U.N. special representative.
But they might not play ball with Bush's Enron accounting of Iraq's
They also might find out that $87B went right into Houston, instead of Iraq.
Click to visit
Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
Last issue it was..
....this issue it's
More Americans lives snuffed out by the
Bush gangster's theft of the White House.
Soon - we'll be at 500, and then 800 and then 1000.
Will the Democrats be willing to fight for their country next
Or will they just hand it to Bush on their knees, like they did in 2000 and 2002?
I'm the only serious candidate.
Total deaths since President Giggle and Kill said, "Bring
Plus, at least
2504 wounded for Bush's illegal
Many of them are missing arms, legs, eyes and their memories from head wounds.
Oh, and the burn victims will make your heart sink.
How much more are we willing to tolerate?
December sticker placement contest!
How to win:
To get your stickers, send a self-addressed envelope to:
bartcop.com PO Box 54466 Tulsa, OK 74155
OR, you could PayPal a small donation and get your stickers within 48 hours.
The stickers are free, but donations
Get yours, then send in a digital photo of where you put it.
Click Here for the best November stickers
Winner gets Joe Conason's book, Al Franken's book or your
choice of a subscription
to Maxim Magazine (Maxim has no nudity) or any similarly priced book or magazine.
Send sticker pics to email@example.com
The question is,
"If we went to every other day, would that cause you to reduce or cancel your subscription?"
Click Here to give me your opinion, non-subscribers are certainly welcome to send opinions, too.
I got fewer positive e-mails than I expected.
I never know what to expect.
I think I have a total of six e-mails expressing opinions about the new, slicked up BartCop Radio,
but when I asked who Jon Stewart was doing, I got over 200 replies, so one just doesn't know.
Here's one e-mail I got about yesterday's question.
Subject: What the hell--s**t on your readers because of no subscription? F**k that!
By the way, this is from a good friend. Often, I write to provoke
but sometimes I don't.
It always surprises me to get mail like this when I'm not expecting any trouble.
You got a lot of balls, Bart.
I have offered my services repeatedly over the last three years in regard to your 'staff'.
And, I offered my services pro bono, gratis, por nada!
Now the 'subscribers only' have your ear?
Fuck that shit man!
If I ever find a spare hundred bucks or so, I'll certainly subscribe, but with this economy, my unemployment
and my wife's fixed income--I'm in no better fucking financial shape than you are--credit card debt and all!
Don't forget your fucking reader-base paco, and don't give short-shrift to the poor folks who support you
without subscriptions--like those who might volunteer to help your overworked ass out!
I still offer my services as a news-reader, editor, proof-reader, etc. gratis.
And, I expect a response.
GF, my good friend...
Perhaps that could've been worded better but, as always, I was in a hurry.
We have to be realists and admit that I can't do the page without any income.
If I lose 50 non-subscribers, I feel bad, but I can still produce a page the next day.
If I lose 50 subscribers, panic sets in and Vic the racist's face pops into my head.
(Just for the record, I can't get my old job back.)
If I lose a lot of subscribers, the page shuts down and I'm trying to prevent that.
That's not close to happening, but how close should I be before I sound the alarm?
I appreciate your offers to help, and Sam is working on "staff" ideas, but so far
I haven't figured out a way to make things work that way.
Maybe we could make you the BartCop Ambassador of Good Will.
(That was a joke to lessen the tension.)
So, let me ask you a direct question: Would you rather see a collection
of links every day
or would you prefer more original, thought-out writing on an every-other-day basis?
It's hard to write a lot when time is your enemy
If you know a third, workable option, let me know.
By the way, what kind of response were you expecting?
Our first December sticker pic.
If you sent a sticker pic I didn't use, please re-send it.
Bart, David Cicilline is mayor of Providence, RI, openly gay and proudly liberal.
Love ya, Tina W.
Subject: Subscriber feedback
Just wanted to let you know how much I LOVE the page and the radio and I don't regret for one nanosecond the $120.
We've got a lot in common, 50 this year, education at the feet of ruler-wielding penguins, lots of anger at the repugs
for stealing the election, their all-encompassing greed and hypocrisy, and a loathing for any football team with a star
on their silver helmets, but I'd never feel comfortable telling you how to run your enterprise.
You're offering a product and a damn fine
one. One I'm happy to support. One I look forward to EVERY day.
But if there's less of you on the page so we can get the radio going, so be it. If you need to cut back a little for
sanity's sake, so be it. I'll still be there for you.
One of the evils of the Internet is the power it has given so many people to express every thought that comes into
their mind about everything. As Mr. Churchill (the real one not some ex-doper from Midland via prep school)
said to Lady Astor at one insufferable dinner party, "Madame, do you ever have an unexpressed thought?"
In a nutshell, don't let the critics get you down. There's plenty of us who are happy with whatever measure of
Bartcop you can share each day. Whatever you decide, I'll support you, because we need each other. I wish
more visitors to the treehouse understood that.
Tom, that was nice, thanks.
Something on your mind?
Then listen for your voice on...
You have two minutes to speak your piece.
Wouldn't you love to watch a Bush-Clark debate?
Wouldn't you like to see Wesley Clark ask
Bush, "Where you snorting cocaine when
you deserted your post after taking an oath to defend your country during wartime?
While Charlie was filling the right side of my body with bullets, you were drunk in Mexico
with a nose full of Peruvian marching powder and that kind of crap pisses me off."
You know I like Howard Dean, but if the
debate is Bush-Dean, the Texacutioner will say,
"I wore the uniform ...and you didn't."
I'd sure hate to see Bush win a term as president.
With our Holiday Special, you can subscribe for $10
and bring along a friend for only $5.
You only pay about 25 cents a day, which won't even buy a handjob from Ann Coulter these days.
Subscribe for a year by mail ($100 - PO Box 54466 Tulsa, OK 74155) or send a one-time PayPal for that amount,
and get a phone call from Bart. Remember: The B.F.E.E. owns the networks, the newspapers and talk radio.
The internet is all we've got. And consider how the bastard will govern when he never has to face the voters again.
Drudge, Pigboy do the Democrats a favor
Through hyperbole bordering on misrepresentation, Drudge turned what should have been
a small meet-and-greet session for two pro-Democratic political organizations into a star-studded
spectacle of publicity and support for the groups.
Earlier this week, Drudge began trumpeting
the news of a "Hate Bush" meeting planned for Hollywood
Tuesday night. In a breathless "exclusive" report, Drudge claimed that "top Hollywood activists and intellectuals"
were planning to "gather in Beverly Hills for an event billed as 'Hate Bush.'" Recovering addict Rush Limbaugh
played along with the tune, warning of a coming confab by a bunch of "left coast Hollywood kooks" and
suggesting that the likes of Jane Fonda would be involved.
It was, in fact, an informational presentation
by America Coming Together and The Media Fund, two groups
working to raise money -- and spend it -- in support of the Democratic candidate in the 2004 presidential race.
Organizers expected about 100 politically active Southern Californians to turn out for the event Tuesday at the
Beverly Hills Hilton. But with Drudge and Limbaugh on the rampage, approximately three times as many
Hollywood Democrats made the scene.
If Drudge or the vulgar junkie could tell the truth, the Democrats would've made a lot less money.
Remember - we're going to win.
So don't give up. Continue the fight.
Holiday Shopping online?
Use this portal
and they'll throw bartcop.com four cents.
If you spend $250,000 - they'll send bartcop.com $10,000.
Click to Order
...... ... ... .. .. . .....
Wesley Clark Krugman Wellstone Franken Conason Moore Turkel
Bart uses ctyme.com hosting because it's the best!
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright '© 2003, bartcop.com
If your GOP workplace doesn't want you to
see the truth, use these mirrors.
By the way, did you see Shirley's totally scandalous quote
in the new Rolling Stone?
Odds are you don't know much about Shirley and how she does interviews.
She could make Cher, Madonna, Pink and Courtney Love all turn red at the same time.
She will say a b s o l u t e l y a n y t h i n g,
She's more frank than Sinatra.
So, the question was,
"Shirley, do you remember the first time you heard the Beatle's White Album?"
She said, "I remember exactly, because a boy was digitalizing me when the album came on."
Odds are you can figure out what she said instead of digitalizing.
That's what growing up Catholic did to her.
(Just kidding, Shrl. I'm a Catholic, too!)
Shrl, call The BartPhone,
just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Joint on your next American tour.
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