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Quote of the Day
"Why is Rush the only person treated
"Because he's rich and white - otherwise
"Just when the world is being dragged into
the death spiral of an unending cycle of violence by a
vision-less, coldblooded collection of think-tank warriors goose-stepping their way into the new
millennium with a stunning lack of respect for human rights, the environment, or international law,
along comes a man with the proven credentials of intelligence, integrity, and courage singularly
equipped by his spirit and experience to lead us out of this mess. Don't listen to what the lying liars
say about him; listen to what he says. Wesley Clark is a prayer answered. Peace"
-- Kris Kristofferson
Well, ho ho ho! It's an early Christmas for James Baker III.
All year the elves at his law firm, Baker
Botts of Texas, have been working day and night to prevent the families
of the victims of the 9-11 attack from seeking information from Saudi Arabia on the Kingdom's funding of Al Qaeda fronts.
It's tough work, but this week came the
payoff when President Bush appointed Baker Botts' senior partner to "restructure"
the debts of the nation of Iraq. And who will net the big bucks under Jim Baker's plan? Answer: his client, Saudi Arabia,
which claims $30.7 billion due from Iraq (plus $12 billion in "reparations" from the First Gulf war).
When Greg Palast writes, the B.F.E.E.
gets very nervous.
They already sued him in Britain where the truth is not a defense against slander.
"Anyone who has had kilometres of U.S. highway
ahead and only a radio for company
knows this routine. Let's hit that radio seek button. There's a right-wing ranter, open-line sports,
crackle, a right-wing ranter, classic rock, pop, a right-wing ranter, crackle, country-and-western,
some old-time religion and a right-wing ranter. In a country so polarized that the left-right split is
fought on bookshelves, television, the Internet and even in a battle over whose face graces the U.S.
dime, talk radio remains a particularly conservative domain. But liberals - or what passes for liberals
in a nation where the so-called left would appear centrist in Canada - are now trying to take on
conservatives by establishing their own radio network. It has been tried before and it has failed."
--Tim Harper, U.S. left finds a voice, except on talk radio
Part of the problem is that dirty, rotten
lies are so much more entertaining than the truth.
This new radio networks the liberals are trying to start? If they are polite and respectful to
their enemies it will just reinforce the lie that Gore would not have attacked bin Laden.
The right and left are fighting for the future of America but the right plays hardball and
we stupidly keep playing by the rules.
Important VCR Alert
Wesley Clark is on Hardball with Chris the Screamer
He promised the audience in OKC that the Screamer would treat him with respect.
Wouldn't you pay to see him slap Tweety for popping off with his smart mouth?
Will I get pimp slapped tonight?
Howard Dean in Carolina
Abraham Lincoln said that government of the people, by the people and for the people
shall not perish from this earth. But this President has forgotten ordinary people.
That is why it is time for us to join together.
Because it is only a movement of citizens
of every color, every income level, and every background that can change this country
and once again make it live up to the promise of America.
So, today I ask you to not just join this
campaign but make it your own.
This new era of the United States begins not with me but with you.
United together, you can take back your country.
I like Dean, I really do, but lofty rhetoric is not going to calm
voters down when
al Qaeda blows up 30 Rock, Grand Central and the Lincoln Tunnel next summer.
Bush and the networks and talk radio will be screaming, "Bush is a war hero,"
and what will Dean say to counter that?
If Dean is going to say, "At least I
didn't desert my country during wartime,"
that would be different - but has he said that yet? Do we have a reason to believe
that he won't "pull a Gore" and get all "Aw shucks, I like Dubya," in the debates?
I'm not talking about a veiled reference to "those
who failed to fulfill their duty."
I'm talking about "Bush was a wartime deserter and we can't afford that - not now!"
If we don't nominate a war hero, we'd better have a fire-breathing
nominee who sounds
like Bart on a whiskey jag or we're going to be the wimp party again.
(Note: Attacking me personally will not change these facts.)
We have the rare opportunity to see the opponents game plan a
year in advance.
We can win if we know a year in advance what they're going to say but we have to
adjust our game plan if they're going "all in" on this bogus war hero horseshit.
I say Bush will look incredibly stupid trying to out-military General Clark.
Bottom line: If Dean's going to attack like Montecore,
he needs to do that before
we choose our nominee - you must agree with that. I fully realize that Dean is not Gore,
but Gore swore he was going to fight, and then he laid down.
Let's not let Bush steal another one.
New stuff in the BartCop Store
Great stocking stuffers!!
Baron Dave Romm on Cheap Holiday Thrills
The Worried Shrimp has been busy
Ernest Borgnine at Pearl Harbor
Muhammad Ali's new book - 'GOAT - Greatest Of All Time'
The Kennedy Center honorees
Ozzy blames doctor
Peabo Bryson & an IRS auction
The 'Waltons' family home sold at auction
And some links
Rev. Al, Paris Hilton do 'SNL'
Trust me, in Tulsa, we got "The Best
of Steve Martin" on SNL, not Al & Paris.
I'll call the locals and ask, but why would the NBC affiliate in Tulsa censor a live show?
...and assuming this show exists, any way someone could send me a copy?
I'd trade you a month of bartcop membership for a copy :)
Send your e-mail address, clearly written, along with the tape.
PO Box 54466
Tulsa, OK 74155
Many viewers missed Sharpton on SNL
Al Sharpton busted some James Brown moves on his "Saturday Night Live" debut,
but many viewers didn't get the chance to see them.
Several NBC affiliates refused to carry
SNL with Sharpton as host for fear it would activate
federal "equal time provisions" and compel them to offer air time to the eight other Democrats.
"Taken together, almost everything we've seen since early 2001 points to a decision to rush through
as many political goodies as possible and secure as much political power as possible as soon as possible,
with little regard for picking up the pieces. And that suggests an analogy. What we're seeing in Washington
today has an uncomfortable resemblance to what, in mafia lingo, is called a bust-out.
It goes something like this.
Say you're a gambler and I'm a mobster.
I've lent you lots of money. But now you can't cover your debt.
I could pursue the matter through your kneecaps or toss you out of an office window, but instead I take a
more constructive approach. You own a shoe store. I take it over your operation, order everything under
the sun and fence all the merchandise for as much money as I can get as quickly as I can. I run out every line
of credit you have and generally squeeze the place of every dollar I can get out of it. And then when I can't
squeeze anymore, I torch the place and collect on the insurance money. Sure, it's not the most sustainable
business model. But I have my money back, and what happens to you is your problem."
Wow, that's exactly right - this is what the B.F.E.E.
is doing to America.
Once they have their hundred billion dollars each, they'll leave and buy a mansion in Aruba and retire.
"There's a fascinating statistic in US politics.
If you go to church regularly,
or synagogue, you vote Republican two to one. If you don't, you vote
Democrat two to one. And about half of Americans do."
--Dick Morris, currently not sucking the toes of whores, Attribution
The smart people in America know it's a joke that "God
sent Dubya to be president."
But how many smart people do you know?
Subject: radio show...on the Gooooo...
I thought your shows sounded great. Before,
when I would listen, it took so long for only
a few minutes and whatever the hookup you are using now, it is just like listening to the radio
. . . smooth, funny, and very entertaining. I liked the advice you gave to Michael Jackson.
I, too, wish he would come on down and get reacquainted with us, . . . the plain and simple earth people.
The Hannity beatdown I enjoyed, because
I never listen to those punks.
My blood pressure would never be able to withstand that kind of punishment.
Anyway, I think you and your sidekick from
California, Tom, were great together.
It just gets better and better. Also, I read about the person who was on the Gore team, on your site
before I heard you talk about him on the radio, . . . my advice to him is, keep that information to himself
unless he is seeking employment with the Republican Party. You were right in pointing out that he is a
great example of what is wrong with the Democratic Party today.
We have experts on how to lose elections, but manners are always a priority.
Thanks, I'm glad you liked them.
I guess I should warn people to start at Show One and go forward.
If you start with the new stuff and go back, it gets incredibly bad very quickly :)
vote! and let slip the dogs of precinct operations
by A.M. Marshall
Voter registration is the single most effective thing we can do to win elections. (Well, aside from insisting on
a full and accurate count of the vote, but that is beyond the scope of this post.) No other action is as effective
in winning elections and no other activity better expresses what we stand for as a party. In that spirit I offer
this primer on voter registration.
Republicans fear voter registration drives
as they fear nothing else. If you are part of a successful voter
registration drive in a tight election, you can expect the Republicans to manufacture some charge against you.
(http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/oct0202.html) I hesitate to write this as it will discourage some
volunteers, but it is important to know with whom we have to deal.
To the person with "stirli" in their e-mail address.
Thank you for the subscription, but your e-mail cannot receive
When I sent you instructions to you on how to get in the members section,
it bounced back to me so there's no way to get you in under that address.
Please write with a different address so we can communicate.
OR, call the Bart Phone (918-493-1500) and leave your number.
I'll call you.
Anybody know why this happens?
Thanks to Joanne H
by Chris Floyd
Imagine these banner headlines, circa, say, 1998: President's Brother in Biz With Red Chinese!
President's Brother Beds Prostitutes as Corporate Perk! President's Brother Hip-Deep in War
Profiteering: The More Blood His White House Sibling Spills, the Fatter the Family Coffers!
Hoo-boy! There would've been a hot time in the old media town with all that, eh?
Wall-to-wall coverage, 24/7, Fox News frothing,
Washington Post pounding, tabloids screaming
-- "Oval Evil: Reds, Beds and Milking the Dead!" Earnest clucking in the halls of Congress:
"We must get to the bottom of these unsavory connections." Late-night comics cracking wise:
"Hey, when the president's brother orders Chinese, he ain't just talking chow mein:
'Yeah, I'll have the rice, the won ton, two blondes and a bag of unmarked bills, please.'"
But for that to happen, somebody on our side would have to speak up.
Typing today's page I'm listening to the vulgar junkie.
He's got a caller on who says he was just
laid off after 24 years with a leading defense contractor,
but he has so much faith in the Unelected Pinhead, that he's "glad" he got laid off because "this exciting
time" would probably provide him with new opportunities and challenges that he might not have gotten if
he stayed with his 24 year job with a multi-billion dollar mega-corporation.
The Bush handjob is working, and we're in
The ignorant sons of bitches love the fact that they're losing their jobs!
We need to buy stock in Jack Daniels - but that takes money...
"You can get liberals to tune in to conservative
talk shows but conservatives won't listen to liberals.
Conservatives are not as open to exposure to something they don't agree with. Conservatives tend
to have less complicated answers to problems than moderates or liberals. They're usually operating
from strong principles and can articulate them. That makes their approach very radio-friendly."
--Tom Taylor, editor of Inside Radio/M Street, an industry newsletter, Attribution
Conservatives see everything in very black-and-white hues.
And when they get caught, they just pretend they never said it and the democrats refuse to call them on it.
When Madonna and Britney kissed, they "destroyed
But when Laura the Unloved got caught spreading her legs for a camera,
they said we should forgive her because, at age 29, she wasn't an adult yet.
When Kurt Cobain used drugs, he was "just
When Rush got caught, we should forgive him because his pain was real,
as if Cobain's pain wasn't real enough to "deserve" hard drugs.
We're going to keep losing until we begin to fight back.
Whore Court allows Rosa Parks to sue OutKast
The Supreme Court refused Monday to intervene in a lawsuit over the hit song "Rosa Parks"
by the group OutKast. The action, taken without comment from the justices, means the 90-year-old
civil rights figure can go ahead with her lawsuit against the band.
The 1998 song is about the entertainment
industry and its lyrics do not refer to Parks by name.
The chorus of the song goes, "Ah-ha, hush that fuss. Everybody move to the back of the bus."
Parks claimed that OutKast violated her
publicity and trademark rights and defamed her.
Boy, you talk about a can of worms...
Doesn't Rosa Parks, bless her heart, have better things to do
with her remaining days?
Who filed this for her, Larry Klayman?
Assuming this report is true (you can't trust CNN or the AP),
does Rosa Parks think she owns
the phrase, "Back of the bus?" Didn't we just fight this with FOX claiming "fair & balanced?"
Great Christmas Gifts
"Based on some of the response to last week's
column - about the adulation I felt
for Bush's flying a good distance around the world on Thanksgiving Day to meet,
greet and say ''thank you'' to our soldiers in Iraq - it seems to me the Democratic
politicians and card-carriers alike may be on the verge of an emotional breakdown."
--Ken Hamblin, (R-Nazi) Praise of Bush irks readers
"It's embarrassing how far you have your nose
up Bush's ass! 150 minutes in Baghdad,
flying in under the cover of darkness, serving mashed potatoes to the troops and leaving
without even eating the meal (turkey dinner at breakfast, no less) doesn't show leadership.
It shows he's a fraiddy-cat. He is dodging his responsibilities like he did during Vietnam.
And you're eating it up without questioning anything. Pathetic."
--Dzerres, in a e-mail to Ken Hamblin, Attribution, Attribution
If you have something important send it to Sam at email@example.com
Can't get in the members section? Sam can help.
Click to Enter
"With all the House members in one place, an
idea for legislation and time to kill,
Rep. Mark Edward Souder (R-Ind.) spent many of those hours asking his colleagues
to support a bill to put Reagan's face on the dime. He gathered more than 80 cosponsors
-- and learned that many of the lawmakers were not all that clear about who is on the
dime now. (It is Franklin D. Roosevelt.)
"One member insisted to me the whole night
that Roosevelt's not on the dime, it's Eisenhower,"
Souder said. "We went around looking for a dime to resolve it."
-- Thanks to Hesiod Attribution
where are you now?
Don't you care about your sons and daughters?
Don't you know we need you now.
We can't fight alone against this monster
Click to visit
Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
Last issue it was..
....this issue it's
More Americans lives snuffed out by Gangster's theft of the White House.
Soon - we'll be at 500, and then 800 and then 1000.
Will the Democrats be willing to fight for their country next
Or will they just hand it to Bush on their knees, like they did in 2000 and 2002?
"I'm as serious as McCain's
wife having breast cancer."
Total deaths since President Giggle and Kill said, "Bring
Plus, at least
wounded for Bush's illegal oil grab.
Many of them are missing arms, legs, eyes and their memories from head wounds.
Oh, and the burn victims will make your heart sink.
How much more are we willing to tolerate?
December sticker placement contest!
How to win:
To get your stickers, send a self-addressed envelope to:
bartcop.com PO Box 54466 Tulsa, OK 74155
OR, you could PayPal a small donation and get your stickers within 48 hours.
The stickers are free,but
Get yours, then send in a digital photo of where you put it.
. Click Here for the best October stickers
Click Here for the best November stickers
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Winner gets Joe Conason's book, Al Franken's book or a calendar or subscription
Send sticker pics to firstname.lastname@example.org
Thanks to Mad Magazine
The Return of B-1 Bob Dornan (R-Kook)
The 70-year-old "Mouth of the House" has set his sights (again) on GOP Rep. Dana Rohrabacher,
whom Dornan attacked on the night of his 1996 defeat for doing little to help him in that tough race.
"Bob has every right to run anyplace he
wants to," Rohrabacher told the LA Times.
"I'm just sorry he seems to be fixated on me.".
B-1 causing trouble in the Culli-fornia primaries is cool.
Subject: Pre-emptive snowball
True story from Friday - cleaning up after the storm here in PA.
While clearing the driveway I heard a blood-curdling
scream from the front yard.
I wasn't too concerned. It was one of the "not really hurt but need attention" calls of my 4yo son.
It seems that my 9yo son had just slammed
him good with a snowball, and the ice was still
trickling down the inside of his shirt. The smaller boy sniffled that he didn't start it. He hadn't
even made a snowball that day at all.
The bigger boy's defense (no joke) was that
the 4yo was sitting in the snow, could have
made a snowball, and therefore was a legit target.
Now, I know that a snowball is a far cry
from a WMD. But how is this patriotic American father
supposed to chastise his son? Thank goodness he doesn't really know about the Bush administration's
doctrine of preemptive defense... Or maybe he really does?
Something on your mind?
Then listen for your voice on...
You have two minutes to speak your piece.
With our Holiday Special, you can subscribe for $10
and bring along a friend for only $5.
You only pay about 25 cents a day, which won't even buy a paper of Bush lies these days.
Subscribe for a year by mail ($100 - PO Box 54466 Tulsa, OK 74155) or send a one-time PayPal for that amount,
and get a phone call from Bart. Remember: The B.F.E.E. owns the networks, the newspapers and talk radio.
The internet is all we've got. And consider how the bastard will govern when he never has to face the voters again.
Hold your head up.
One day, when a Democrat fights back,
If we can ever get the GOP in a fair fight,
we will kick their lying asses back to Houston.
Holiday Shopping online?
Use this portal
and they'll throw bartcop.com four cents.
If you spend $250,000 - they'll send bartcop.com $10,000.
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...... ... ... .. .. . .....
Wesley Clark Krugman Wellstone Franken Conason Moore Turkel
Bart uses ctyme.com hosting because it's the best!
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright '© 2003, bartcop.com
Show 22 is up.
If your GOP workplace doesn't want you to
see the truth, use these mirrors.
Shrl, call The BartPhone,
just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Joint on your next American tour.
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