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  In Today's Treehouse...
Bush wants probe?????
We deserve Bush apology
Feds to investigate Janet 
Michael Powell on the hunt
TIVO: Janet's breast #1
MTV promoted Janet "surprise"
Ain't democracy grand?
French coming after Cheney
Dr. Laura's beaver spotted


Quote of the Day

"'Whoops' doesn't work for wars." 
        --Seattle P-I editorial headline,  Attribution

 It has until now - where have you been?
 It works until someone is held accountable.

Support Bartcop.com PO Box 54466 , Tulsa, OK 74155PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com

Volume 1247 -  The Flop

  Tuesday      Feb 3, 2004


"The pre-invasion hype had all been about festive Iraqis stocking up on flowers to
  give the kind of toothy colonial welcome the Queen gets from dancing Maoris on a
  royal tour. Now look what's happened. Our boys are faced with a medieval siege of
  Baghdad, and the reprisals of Saddam's death squads, with nothing to prepare the
  American public but the DVD of 'Black Hawk Down.'"  
   --Tina Brown,    Attribution

 For a solid decade, you could hardly turn on a TV or radio without hearing what a bungler
 Clinton was because Bush Sr. sent 18 men to die in Somalia. Now that Junior has killed
 thirty times that many, for no reason at all, it's suddenly time to stop counting.

 Bush Wants Probe to Get to Bottom of Iraq WMD
  That headline is a bald-faced lie - He fought this probe tooth and nail.
  Reuters is trying to make Bush the hero in this fake war when his lies caused it

  Click  Here

 Bush had come under strong pressure from Republicans and Democrats in Congress to support
 an independent probe into intelligence that said Iraq had WMDs when none have been found.

 Does that mean Lee Hamilton will be in charge of it?

 Senior Bush administration officials said Bush would announce establishment of the commission
 in the next couple of days. Work was being done to select the expected nine members of the
 bipartisan commission. ...as soon as Karl Rove finished screening the list of suggested whitewashers

 The commission was expected to be given until next year to report back,
 instead of this year as Democrats demand.

 First, the Democrats didn't demand anything.
 They don't have to courage to risk making Mr Rove angry.

 Second, the reason it has to be next year is because Bush is guilty and he wants to start
 his second term so he can stonewall the Democrats again, which they'll gladly accept and understand.

      Whatever Dubya wants is what Dubya gets...

 When twice-elected Clinton was president, he'd tell congress, "This is how it's gonna be,"
 and the Republicans (and even some Democrats) would say, "Over our dead bodies."

 Then the Senate Demos would meet privately with Clinton and tell him he had to "be reasonable."

 With never-elected Monkeyboy in office, he says "This is how it's gonna be,"
 and the Democrats say, "OK, We're sorry, we were out of line, Your Majesty."
 and then they drop to their knees and give Bush "I'm not worthy."
 We've seen Kerry do it, again and again and again.
 We've seen Edwards do it, again and again and again.
 We've seen Lieberman do it with bells on, again and again and again.

 I can't hardly take it no more...


"Rumsfeld wanted to fight the war "on the cheap" not because the Pentagon is broke,
  but because the administration's outrageous new military doctrine of preemption requires it.
  What good is declaring you're for preemptive protective strikes if you can't go in and prove
  you mean it? The new Bush doctrine required that the war in Iraq be a cakewalk, so as to
  send a message to our enemies in Iran, Syria, North Korea--wherever evildoers lurk--that they
  must tremble before our crushing military might."
       --Joan Walsh,     Attribution

 Americans deserve Bush's profound apology 

  Click  Here

 No wonder there is rage in America. That rage won't die down just because Howard Dean is failing in the polls.
 It will abide as long as the truth keeps coming out about how flawed America's security and intelligence apparatus is,
 and how Bush liked what he was hearing because it suited his own and his political coterie's ambitions. So not only did
 they not question what they heard; they encouraged it and emphasized it. The most enraged Americans must be the
 families and friends of the men and women who have died in Iraq because of this huge error. Bush owes then a
 profound apology and a persuasive reassurance than it won't ever happen again - with or without him."

 Good luck getting an apology from this crowd.
 In America, we apologize over blow jobs - not getting 525 men killed for no reason.
 We forgive that.

HOT! Visit www.deckofbush.com for your deck today!


"God -- the spin machine really is good. Suddenly over the past 48 hours every single figure on the right
  seems to have come to a unanimous decision that the CIA and the CIA alone is wholly to blame for the
  intelligence mishaps. But then why did Dick Cheney need to create an entire parallel intelligence apparatus
  under Doug Feith dedicated exclusively to explaining why the CIA was underestimating Iraq's WMD capacity?"
       -- Matt Yglesias, "Blaming The CIA"     Attribution

 Subject: Bumper sticker

 Bart,  I saw a great bumper sticker this morning on the way home from the barn.

 It was on the back of a nice big cadillac driven by a grey haired old lady.
 It said:  "There is dirt under every Bush".
 I love it.


 Being fair to the monkeys

 Some monkey named gerry jaz wrote a typical monkey letter,
 and he closed with, "Get a clue, you douchebag."

 Always bending over backwards to be fair, I wrote back and told him
 if he would re-submit his monkey letter without the "douchebag" I'd print it.

 So he wrote back and said, bravely, "My words stand."
 Isn't he brave?

 Taking a stand on Douchebag Hill is about as brave as it gets.

 So no, Gerry, your words don't "stand," they lie on the floor, unprinted and unread.
 You could've made your point before dozens of members of the opposite camp and
 if your argument was based in fact or logic, you might've swayed a few opinions.
 Instead, your "wisdom" will never be known, because of your attachment to Douchebag Hill.

 But if winning the battle of Douchebag Hill meant so very much to you - congrats!
 I suppose your family will engrave that on your tombstone?



One of the best I've seen.

 Feds to investigate Janet Jackson's breast
  "America is at risk - we must stop this vile threat in its tracks"

  Click  Here

 Not enough time, money or resources to catch bin Laden.
 Not enough time, money or resources to catch the Anthrax killer.
 Not enough time, money or resources to catch the Ohio sniper.
 Not enough time, money or resources to catch the MyBomb virus guy
 Not enough time, money or resources to catch the Valerie Plame leaker...

 ...but there's time, money and resources to go after the really dangerous threats
 like Tommy Chong, Martha Stewart and Janet Jackson's right breast.
 This is what happens after Kerry, Edwards and Lieberman eagerly confirmed
 Bush's religiously-insane political payoffs like that nasty shit John Ashcroft.
 Why didn't they take their jobs seriously?

"I see evildoers..."


"Clearly somebody had knowledge of it. Clearly it was something that
  was planned by someone. She probably got what she was looking for."
    -- Michael Powell, finding Janet Jackson guilty after a thorough and impartial investigation.

 Hey asshole, isn't there some Clear Channel exec who needs a hummer?

 You've already found her guilty, why bother with an investigation?
 As crimes go, this ranks right up there with lying America into a war that killed 500.
    It's just like a Republican to accept hundreds dead and thousands maimed, then get outraged by some titty
 Like Bush, have you ever held a job your daddy didn't get for you?
 They say 140,000,000 people saw her performance and you got "thousands" of complaints?
    That puts Janet's approval rating at over 99.99 percent - what's your Daddy's approval rating?
 Powell said MTV and the CBS network's more than 200 affiliates and company-owned stations could be fined $27,500 apiece.

 Just like a Republican - fine 200 innocent CBS affiliates - punish them for carrying the Superbowl.
 The only two people you could possibly punish are Janet and Justin, but even they might be innocent.
 Between dismembered children and a little titty, ...the titty pisses you off?

 "Powell is right - I, for one, was outraged."

 Note: If you'd like to say who you're voting for and explain why, send it to  bartcop@bartcop.com

 A couple of rules:
Send plain text only - no html or crazy fonts or colors.
Make it short, 2-3 paragraphs, and write it yourself - don't copy and paste.

Marty's Entertainment Page


"[British investigator] Hutton's assault upon the whole culture of the BBC and journalism is
  out of all proportion to their offences. It ignores the huge, ugly reality, that Tony Blair took
  Britain to war in Iraq on a fraudulent prospectus. I say this as one of those who swallowed it
  at the time. It is partly because I accepted the Whitehall line on WMD that I feel so dismayed
  today, when it has been shown to be false, whether wilfully or no. It is a good time to get angry."
     --Max Hastings, on the Blir whitewash   Attribution

 TiVo: Janet's breast stunt most replayed clip ever

  Click  Here

 When Justin tore at Janet's leather outfit during the half-time show, TiVo users took notice.

 Then they took notice again and again, using the digital video recorder to replay the event
 and to pause at the crucial moment in order to discern just what it was that Jackson had
 revealed to millions of Americans.

 TiVo said that particular halftime stunt was the most replayed moment not only of the
 Super Bowl but of all TV moments that the young company has ever measured.

 Yeah, it was Republican religio-crazies, getting a goiod look, again and again, so they
 could condemn it as the worst thing to ever appear on television. One guy in Tuesday's
 USA Today called it, "a depressing display of filth, obscenity, cruelty (?) and stupidity.
 Whatever happened to dignity and good taste in this country?"

 ...meanwhile, the ugly dog biting the man's cock was voted "Favorite commercial."

 I don't mind living in a country where a breast is shown on TV for a few seconds,
 but it bothers me that Hollywood and Madison Avenue are making millions
 with fart jokes, sperm-in-her-hair jokes, eating-poop jokes and crotch biting.

 Between a dog biting a man's crotch and Janet's breast, give me Janet.

Click for all your Bush-bashing needs

  Jan 28 - Janet's Super Bowl Show Promises 'Shocking Moments'
  MTV knew something was coming - they promoted it

  Click  Here

"I don't think the Super Bowl has ever seen a performance like this,"  Jackson's choreographer, Gil Duldulao, said Tuesday.
"The dancing is great. She's more stylized, she's more feminine, she's more a woman as she dances this time around.
 There are some shocking moments in there too. She's doing her job well."

 Boy, I'll say.


"The tearing of Janet Jackson's costume was unrehearsed, unplanned, completely unintentional
  and was inconsistent with assurances we had about the content of the performance."
      --Statement from MTV, which can't possibly know the intentions of Justin and Janet  Attribution
  Click  Here  to judge for yourself.

 In a statement released Monday night, Jackson said it was a last-minute stunt that went awry.

"The decision to have a costume reveal at the end of my halftime show performance was made after final rehearsals.
 MTV was completely unaware of it," Jackson said. "It was not my intention that it go as far as it did. I apologize
 to anyone offended - including the audience, MTV, CBS and the NFL."

 Bottom line: I'm going to guess it was an accident.
 Like with Scott Peterson, Kobe Bryant, Michael Jackson and the others, anyone who says they know
 what really happened is an uninformed liar trying to sell you their wasn't-there opinion dressed up as fact.

 Order your CDs today!
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"In a reversal of his position, President Bush will announce this week the establishment of a bipartisan,
  independent commission to investigate apparent flaws in intelligence used to justify the Iraq war,
  The president wants a broad, bipartisan and independent review of our intelligence,  ...but it needs
  to be chaired by somebody on his daddy's BFEE payroll - perhaps a Supreme Court Judge....
       --Steve Holland, "Bush to Announce Probe This Week"  Attribution

Greg Palast CD Release Party

Party w/ Greg Palast, Janeane Garofalo, Tom Tomorrow, and others!
February 27, 2004 - $30 tax-deductible donation
Click for Details



Click to Enter

 Suspected Ricin Poison Disrupts Senate
  Anthraxboy is back with a new poison - only for Democrats?
  Click  Here

 Senate hearings were disrupted on Tuesday after a powder that initially tested positive for the
 poison ricin was found in a congressional mailroom, stirring memories of a deadly 2001 anthrax attack.

"We made a decision based on procedures that are quite thorough and comprehensive to close the three
 Senate office buildings today," said Frista, a Tennessee Klansman who is also a physician, said. He was
 speaking on the floor of the Senate, which, like the House of Representatives, remained open.

 Attorney General John Ashcroft (R-Insane) released a statement saying, "We're short-handed right now,
 due to the hundreds of agents we have on the Jackson breast case, but we'll get to this if time allows."

 If you have something important send it to Sam at sam@bartcop.com

 We have a new address for advertisers - ads@bartcop.com

 Ain't democracy grand?
    by Molly Ivins

  Click  Here

 Love those Iowa results. Nothing better than a huge political scrum where the front-runner stumbles,
 the guy everyone wrote off for dead six weeks ago comes roaring back, an unknown emerges, an old
 war-horse drops out -- a wonderful scenario. Let's hear it for upset, confusion and the conventional
 wisdom with egg on its face. A banana cream pie right in the kisser for everyone who pretends they
 know how a political race will turn out. Happy days. Ain't democracy grand?

Click  Here  to save America

 Cheney could be charged in French bribery trial 

  Click  Here

 Among other international payoff investigations linked to Nigeria: In Paris, a French judge has
 reportedly warned Dick Cheney could be charged over allegations that his former company,
 Halliburton, paid $180 million in bribes to build a Nigerian gas plant. Halliburton has denied the
 accusations, and Cheney's spokesmen have refused to comment on the case.

 $100M bribes?  Cheney does three of those each day before lunch.
 Since Cheney is above the law here, I doubt he's too worried about the French coming for him.

Click for details


"Most of the women who complain that they are not getting what they want from their
  husbands should stop and look at how disrespectful and disdainful they are of them."
     --Laura the unloved, who runs her family with an iron fist to such a degree that not only did
       she not take her husband's last name, their son wasn't allowed to, either  Attribution









 Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
 Bush lied, and caused 527 to die.

From:    http://lunaville.org/warcasualties/Summary.aspx


"Why didn't (the president) admit that more than 75 percent of the forces doing the fighting
  and the dying in Iraq are American. Why didn't he admit that it is America that is paying more
  than 75 percent of costs of reconstruction in Iraq? It's time for a higher standard of leadership
  in America. We need a leader with experience, and with a success strategy to get us out of the
  mess in Iraq. A leader who has been on the front lines of battle, and in the backrooms of diplomacy...
  We need a leader who will stand up for American values. I am that man.''
      --Wesley Clark    Attribution

 Subject: Thanks for the laughs and the insights

 You guys should be charging by the hour. Mosts therapists do.
 After a long day of work and e-action, there is just nothing quite like BartCop late at night.
 It is, Me thinks, vital that we all keep our sense of humor. More often than not, the brain goes
 on strike after being subjected to a constant and concerted barrage of cognitive dissonance.
 Still, there are those people who just go postal. Humor is our only savior.
 I damned near fell off my chair a little while ago. Your comparison of the crimes of
 George Bush and the crimes of Bill Clinton was a hoot.
 The only thing that wasn't quite accurate was the "why" of Clinton being impeached over a blow job
 and Bush getting a pass on war crimes or being to dumb to govern himself, let alone the most powerful
 nation on Earth, depending on who you talk to.  Americans, by a large majority, were not outraged by
 the Blow-job heard round the world. Disgusted? Maybe. Offput? Probably.  Incredulous at Clinton's taste?
 You bet. Outraged? Very few of us.
 By in large, most of the people I know were more outraged that we had to hear about it every day,
 all day until we thought we would scream. For this we blamed Cable News and the Republicans
 including Joe(mentumn) Lieberman. No one was more responsible for Clinton fatigue than them.
 Bush is not going to get a pass on this. I am pretty sure we can count on that.
 My only question is; How far will the Bushies go when backed into a corner?
 That is the question that keeps me up nights.

 Dot, har far would they go?
 They've already proven that the lives of 500 soldiers won't interfere with their plans.

Something on your mind?
 Call the
Then  listen for your call on...

You have two minutes to speak your piece.


"I'm not looking for the best candidate, I'm looking for the one who can beat Bush.
  Clark is the only one who can beat Bush in the South."
    --Wayne Goldner, a fan of the general's    Attribution

 Ask Bart

 Subject: Paul Schaffer

 Do you happen to know what song he's been doing in the cape...in the wilderness?
 I'm dying to find out, and your site is just about the only reference to it.


 Thompson, you came to the right place because I know everything.
 The song is "I Love you more than you'll ever know" from the first Blood Sweat & Tears album, circa 1969
 It was written by Al Cooper (not Alice) and done by the band before Phillip Michael Thomas joined them.

 The bit is James Brown from a live show in Cali also in the late sixties. (details in the back issues)
 James's girl done left him, and he crumbled onstage telling the story, and while the band kept playing, others came
 to his "rescue," and helped James offstage with his cape. But before they got James all the way off, be broke free
 (a la Paul) and had to come back and sing some more about the bitch who done him wrong.

 It looks kinda silly now, but at the time, live, people wondered if James was in real trouble,
 but it was always an act, and a damn effective one, back before it has been done a hundred times.

 Radio Computer Fund Drive

 As we step up the pace of , we have another expense:
 A typical show takes 8 hours to assemble with up to 400 individual edits, mostly
 because I'm a small-brained person who needs a lot of 'grooming' to make sense.

 His Mac is a 1998 model. 2004 Macs are much, much faster than 1998 computers.
 With his new G5 Mac, he can cut that time in half if he gets a new G5 Mac.
 (Hey - all you Applets - I finally bought a Mac! :)

 $3678 - total cost of new package.
 $  967 - amount raised  - with 26 days to go.

 I put that $3678 on my VISA card, which gives 30 days grace with no interest.

 If you'd care to donate, you could contribute via PayPal by Clicking  Here
 (Oddly, it helps if you send an abby-normal amount, like $49 instead of $50)

 If you prefer paper checks in the US mail, please send to
 bartcop.com  PO Box 54466   Tulsa, OK  74155

 We're assembling Show 26 now.
 So far, it has a Dennis Miller beatdown and other goodies.

  Subscribe today!




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