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America where are you now?
Don't you care about your sons and daughters?
Don't you know we need you now?
We can't fight alone against this monster...
Quote of the Day
"'Whoops' doesn't work for wars."
It has until now - where have you been?
"The pre-invasion hype had all been about festive
Iraqis stocking up on flowers to
give the kind of toothy colonial welcome the Queen gets from dancing Maoris on a
royal tour. Now look what's happened. Our boys are faced with a medieval siege of
Baghdad, and the reprisals of Saddam's death squads, with nothing to prepare the
American public but the DVD of 'Black Hawk Down.'"
--Tina Brown, Attribution
For a solid decade, you could hardly turn on a TV or radio without
hearing what a bungler
Clinton was because Bush Sr. sent 18 men to die in Somalia. Now that Junior has killed
thirty times that many, for no reason at all, it's suddenly time to stop counting.
Wants Probe to Get to Bottom of Iraq WMD
That headline is a bald-faced lie - He fought this probe tooth and nail.
Reuters is trying to make Bush the hero in this fake war when his lies caused it
Bush had come under strong pressure from Republicans and Democrats in Congress to support
an independent probe into intelligence that said Iraq had WMDs when none have been found.
Does that mean Lee Hamilton will be in charge of it?
Senior Bush administration officials said
Bush would announce establishment of the commission
in the next couple of days. Work was being done to select the expected nine members of the
bipartisan commission. ...as soon as Karl Rove finished screening the list of suggested whitewashers
The commission was expected to be given
until next year to report back,
instead of this year as Democrats demand.
First, the Democrats didn't demand anything.
They don't have to courage to risk making Mr Rove angry.
Second, the reason it has to be next year is because
Bush is guilty
and he wants to start
his second term so he can stonewall the Democrats again, which they'll gladly accept and understand.
Whatever Dubya wants is what Dubya gets...
When twice-elected Clinton was president, he'd tell congress,
"This is how it's gonna be,"
and the Republicans (and even some Democrats) would say, "Over our dead bodies."
Then the Senate Demos would meet privately with Clinton and tell him he had to "be reasonable."
With never-elected Monkeyboy in office, he says "This
is how it's gonna be,"
and the Democrats say, "OK, We're sorry, we were out of line, Your Majesty."
and then they drop to their knees and give Bush "I'm not worthy."
We've seen Kerry do it, again and again and again.
We've seen Edwards do it, again and again and again.
We've seen Lieberman do it with bells on, again and again and again.
I can't hardly take it no more...
"Rumsfeld wanted to fight the war "on the cheap"
not because the Pentagon is broke,
but because the administration's outrageous new military doctrine of preemption requires it.
What good is declaring you're for preemptive protective strikes if you can't go in and prove
you mean it? The new Bush doctrine required that the war in Iraq be a cakewalk, so as to
send a message to our enemies in Iran, Syria, North Korea--wherever evildoers lurk--that they
must tremble before our crushing military might."
--Joan Walsh, Attribution
No wonder there is rage in America. That rage won't die down just because Howard Dean is failing in the polls.
It will abide as long as the truth keeps coming out about how flawed America's security and intelligence apparatus is,
and how Bush liked what he was hearing because it suited his own and his political coterie's ambitions. So not only did
they not question what they heard; they encouraged it and emphasized it. The most enraged Americans must be the
families and friends of the men and women who have died in Iraq because of this huge error. Bush owes then a
profound apology and a persuasive reassurance than it won't ever happen again - with or without him."
Good luck getting an apology from this crowd.
In America, we apologize over blow jobs - not getting 525 men killed for no reason.
We forgive that.
HOT! Visit www.deckofbush.com for your deck today!
"God -- the spin machine really is good. Suddenly
over the past 48 hours every single figure on the right
seems to have come to a unanimous decision that the CIA and the CIA alone is wholly to blame for the
intelligence mishaps. But then why did Dick Cheney need to create an entire parallel intelligence apparatus
under Doug Feith dedicated exclusively to explaining why the CIA was underestimating Iraq's WMD capacity?"
-- Matt Yglesias, "Blaming The CIA" Attribution
Subject: Bumper sticker
Bart, I saw a great bumper sticker this morning on the way home from the barn.
It was on the back of a nice big cadillac
driven by a grey haired old lady.
It said: "There is dirt under every Bush".
I love it.
Being fair to the monkeys
Some monkey named gerry jaz wrote a typical monkey letter,
and he closed with, "Get a clue, you douchebag."
Always bending over backwards to be fair, I wrote back and told him
if he would re-submit his monkey letter without the "douchebag" I'd print it.
So he wrote back and said, bravely, "My
Isn't he brave?
Taking a stand on Douchebag Hill is about as brave as it gets.
So no, Gerry, your words don't "stand," they lie on the floor,
unprinted and unread.
You could've made your point before dozens of members of the opposite camp and
if your argument was based in fact or logic, you might've swayed a few opinions.
Instead, your "wisdom" will never be known, because of your attachment to Douchebag Hill.
But if winning the battle of Douchebag Hill meant so very much
to you - congrats!
I suppose your family will engrave that on your tombstone?
One of the best I've seen.
to investigate Janet Jackson's breast
"America is at risk - we must stop this vile threat in its tracks"
Not enough time, money or resources to catch
Not enough time, money or resources to catch the Anthrax killer.
Not enough time, money or resources to catch the Ohio sniper.
Not enough time, money or resources to catch the MyBomb virus guy
Not enough time, money or resources to catch the Valerie Plame leaker...
...but there's time, money and resources
to go after the really dangerous threats
like Tommy Chong, Martha Stewart and Janet Jackson's right breast.
This is what happens after Kerry, Edwards and Lieberman eagerly confirmed
Bush's religiously-insane political payoffs like that nasty shit John Ashcroft.
Why didn't they take their jobs seriously?
"I see evildoers..."
"Clearly somebody had knowledge of it.
Clearly it was something that
was planned by someone. She probably got what she was looking for."
-- Michael Powell, finding Janet Jackson guilty after a thorough and impartial investigation.
Hey asshole, isn't there some Clear Channel exec who needs a hummer?
You've already found her
guilty, why bother with an investigation?
As crimes go, this ranks right up there with lying America into a war that killed 500.
It's just like a Republican to accept hundreds dead and thousands maimed, then get outraged by some titty
Like Bush, have you ever held a job your daddy didn't get for you?
They say 140,000,000 people saw her performance and you got "thousands" of complaints?
That puts Janet's approval rating at over 99.99 percent - what's your Daddy's approval rating?
Powell said MTV and the CBS network's more than 200 affiliates and company-owned stations could be fined $27,500 apiece.
Just like a Republican - fine 200 innocent CBS affiliates - punish
them for carrying the Superbowl.
The only two people you could possibly punish are Janet and Justin, but even they might be innocent.
Between dismembered children and a little titty, ...the titty pisses you off?
"Powell is right - I, for one, was outraged."
Note: If you'd like to say who you're voting for and explain why, send it to email@example.com
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Make it short, 2-3 paragraphs, and write it yourself - don't copy and paste.
Marty's Entertainment Page
"[British investigator] Hutton's assault upon
the whole culture of the BBC and journalism is
out of all proportion to their offences. It ignores the huge, ugly reality, that Tony Blair took
Britain to war in Iraq on a fraudulent prospectus. I say this as one of those who swallowed it
at the time. It is partly because I accepted the Whitehall line on WMD that I feel so dismayed
today, when it has been shown to be false, whether wilfully or no. It is a good time to get angry."
--Max Hastings, on the Blir whitewash Attribution
TiVo: Janet's breast stunt most replayed clip ever
When Justin tore at Janet's leather outfit during the half-time show, TiVo users took notice.
Then they took notice again and again, using
the digital video recorder to replay the event
and to pause at the crucial moment in order to discern just what it was that Jackson had
revealed to millions of Americans.
TiVo said that particular halftime stunt
was the most replayed moment not only of the
Super Bowl but of all TV moments that the young company has ever measured.
Yeah, it was Republican religio-crazies, getting a goiod look,
again and again, so they
could condemn it as the worst thing to ever appear on television. One guy in Tuesday's
USA Today called it, "a depressing display of filth, obscenity, cruelty (?) and stupidity.
Whatever happened to dignity and good taste in this country?"
...meanwhile, the ugly dog biting the man's cock was voted "Favorite commercial."
I don't mind living in a country where a breast is shown on TV
for a few seconds,
but it bothers me that Hollywood and Madison Avenue are making millions
with fart jokes, sperm-in-her-hair jokes, eating-poop jokes and crotch biting.
Between a dog biting a man's crotch and Janet's breast, give me Janet.
Click for all your Bush-bashing needs
Super Bowl Show Promises 'Shocking Moments'
MTV knew something was coming - they promoted it
"I don't think the Super Bowl has ever seen a performance like this," Jackson's choreographer, Gil Duldulao, said Tuesday.
"The dancing is great. She's more stylized, she's more feminine, she's more a woman as she dances this time around.
There are some shocking moments in there too. She's doing her job well."
Boy, I'll say.
"The tearing of Janet Jackson's costume was
unrehearsed, unplanned, completely unintentional
and was inconsistent with assurances we had about the content of the performance."
--Statement from MTV, which can't possibly know the intentions of Justin and Janet Attribution
Click Here to judge for yourself.
In a statement released Monday night, Jackson said it was a last-minute stunt that went awry.
"The decision to have a costume reveal at the
end of my halftime show performance was made after final rehearsals.
MTV was completely unaware of it," Jackson said. "It was not my intention that it go as far as it did. I apologize
to anyone offended - including the audience, MTV, CBS and the NFL."
Bottom line: I'm going to guess it was an accident.
Like with Scott Peterson, Kobe Bryant, Michael Jackson and the others, anyone who says they know
what really happened is an uninformed liar trying to sell you their wasn't-there opinion dressed up as fact.
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"In a reversal of his position, President Bush
will announce this week the establishment of a bipartisan,
independent commission to investigate apparent flaws in intelligence used to justify the Iraq war,
The president wants a broad, bipartisan and independent review of our intelligence, ...but it needs
to be chaired by somebody on his daddy's BFEE payroll - perhaps a Supreme Court Judge....
--Steve Holland, "Bush to Announce Probe This Week" Attribution
Greg Palast CD Release Party
Party w/ Greg Palast,
Tomorrow, and others!
February 27, 2004 - $30 tax-deductible donation
Click for Details
Click to Enter
Ricin Poison Disrupts Senate
Anthraxboy is back with a new poison - only for Democrats?
Senate hearings were disrupted on Tuesday after a powder that initially tested positive for the
poison ricin was found in a congressional mailroom, stirring memories of a deadly 2001 anthrax attack.
"We made a decision based on procedures that are
quite thorough and comprehensive to close the three
Senate office buildings today," said Frista, a Tennessee Klansman who is also a physician, said. He was
speaking on the floor of the Senate, which, like the House of Representatives, remained open.
Attorney General John Ashcroft (R-Insane)
released a statement saying, "We're short-handed right now,
due to the hundreds of agents we have on the Jackson breast case, but we'll get to this if time allows."
If you have something important send it to Sam at firstname.lastname@example.org
We have a new address for advertisers - email@example.com
Love those Iowa results. Nothing better than a huge political scrum where the front-runner stumbles,
the guy everyone wrote off for dead six weeks ago comes roaring back, an unknown emerges, an old
war-horse drops out -- a wonderful scenario. Let's hear it for upset, confusion and the conventional
wisdom with egg on its face. A banana cream pie right in the kisser for everyone who pretends they
know how a political race will turn out. Happy days. Ain't democracy grand?
Click Here to save America
Among other international payoff investigations linked to Nigeria: In Paris, a French judge has
reportedly warned Dick Cheney could be charged over allegations that his former company,
Halliburton, paid $180 million in bribes to build a Nigerian gas plant. Halliburton has denied the
accusations, and Cheney's spokesmen have refused to comment on the case.
$100M bribes? Cheney does three of
those each day before lunch.
Since Cheney is above the law here, I doubt he's too worried about the French coming for him.
Click for details
"Most of the women who complain that they are
not getting what they want from their
husbands should stop and look at how disrespectful and disdainful they are of them."
--Laura the unloved, who runs her family with an iron fist to such a degree that not only did
she not take her husband's last name, their son wasn't allowed to, either Attribution
American soldier body count in Iraq
Bush lied, and caused 527 to die.
"Why didn't (the president) admit that more
than 75 percent of the forces doing the fighting
and the dying in Iraq are American. Why didn't he admit that it is America that is paying more
than 75 percent of costs of reconstruction in Iraq? It's time for a higher standard of leadership
in America. We need a leader with experience, and with a success strategy to get us out of the
mess in Iraq. A leader who has been on the front lines of battle, and in the backrooms of diplomacy...
We need a leader who will stand up for American values. I am that man.''
--Wesley Clark Attribution
Subject: Thanks for the laughs and the insights
You guys should be charging by the hour.
Mosts therapists do.
After a long day of work and e-action, there is just nothing quite like BartCop late at night.
It is, Me thinks, vital that we all keep our sense of humor. More often than not, the brain goes
on strike after being subjected to a constant and concerted barrage of cognitive dissonance.
Still, there are those people who just go postal. Humor is our only savior.
I damned near fell off my chair a little while ago. Your comparison of the crimes of
George Bush and the crimes of Bill Clinton was a hoot.
The only thing that wasn't quite accurate was the "why" of Clinton being impeached over a blow job
and Bush getting a pass on war crimes or being to dumb to govern himself, let alone the most powerful
nation on Earth, depending on who you talk to. Americans, by a large majority, were not outraged by
the Blow-job heard round the world. Disgusted? Maybe. Offput? Probably. Incredulous at Clinton's taste?
You bet. Outraged? Very few of us.
By in large, most of the people I know were more outraged that we had to hear about it every day,
all day until we thought we would scream. For this we blamed Cable News and the Republicans
including Joe(mentumn) Lieberman. No one was more responsible for Clinton fatigue than them.
Bush is not going to get a pass on this. I am pretty sure we can count on that.
My only question is; How far will the Bushies go when backed into a corner?
That is the question that keeps me up nights.
Dot, har far would they go?
They've already proven that the lives of 500 soldiers won't interfere with their plans.
Something on your mind?
Then listen for your call on...
You have two minutes to speak your piece.
"I'm not looking for the best candidate, I'm
looking for the one who can beat Bush.
Clark is the only one who can beat Bush in the South."
--Wayne Goldner, a fan of the general's Attribution
Subject: Paul Schaffer
Do you happen to know what song he's been
doing in the cape...in the wilderness?
I'm dying to find out, and your site is just about the only reference to it.
Thompson, you came to the right place because I know everything.
The song is "I Love you more than you'll ever know" from the first Blood Sweat & Tears album, circa 1969
It was written by Al Cooper (not Alice) and done by the band before Phillip Michael Thomas joined them.
The bit is James Brown from a live show in Cali
also in the late sixties. (details in the back issues)
James's girl done left him, and he crumbled onstage telling the story, and while the band kept playing, others came
to his "rescue," and helped James offstage with his cape. But before they got James all the way off, be broke free
(a la Paul) and had to come back and sing some more about the bitch who done him wrong.
It looks kinda silly now, but at the time, live, people wondered
if James was in real trouble,
but it was always an act, and a damn effective one, back before it has been done a hundred times.
Radio Computer Fund Drive
As we step up the pace of ,
we have another expense:
A typical show takes 8 hours to assemble with up to 400 individual edits, mostly
because I'm a small-brained person who needs a lot of 'grooming' to make sense.
His Mac is a 1998 model. 2004 Macs are much, much faster than
With his new G5 Mac, he can cut that time in half if he gets a new G5 Mac.
(Hey - all you Applets - I finally bought a Mac! :)
$3678 - total cost of new package.
$ 967 - amount raised - with 26 days to go.
I put that $3678 on my VISA card, which gives 30 days grace with no interest.
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Shrl, call The BartPhone,
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That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Jointon your next American tour.
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