Subscribe to Bartcop
America where are you now?
Don't you care about your sons and daughters?
Don't you know we need you now?
We can't fight alone against this monster...
Quote of the Day
"I think our party is more united
If you ran an ad on bartcop.com - it could go right here
"We confess. It's all true. Everything you
say. We trafficked in hate. We did it in anger. Just as you said,
Mr. Kristol, Mr. Krauthammer, Mr. Brooks: . We attacked a sitting president, impugned his integrity,
smeared his family, invaded his privacy, tried desperately to drag him down to our level. There is no parallel
between your measured criticism of Clinton and our attacks on Bush. Clinton deserved everything thrown
at him because a corrupt and evil man who gains the White House by underhanded means should be attacked
with every weapon at the disposal of a free press. And yes, it's true, just as your radio hosts have maintained:
Hillarydoes owe her success to the practice of witchcraft. And no, it's not true that ridiculing Chelsea was the
media equivalent of child molestation. Chelsea was fair game because she is the spawn of Satan. Scurrilous of us
to suggest that the tirelessly moderate and civil proponent of these and so many other truths, Robert Bartley,
now resides in the circle of hell reserved for hate-mongers and bigots! Mr. Bartley dwells in the bosom of his
Republican creator. We see that now."
--Tony Hendra, Attribution
Small businesses, the engine of job creation, are retreating on hiring plans - magnifying
Bush's jobless "recovery." The share planning to hire fell to 13% last month. That was
down from 17% in January, the National Federation of Independent Business trade group said.
Even the weak hiring plans may be too rosy.
For most of the past year, small firms failed to
add employees despite earlier plans, NFIB data show.
won't hire for the same reason I have a standing $200
bet with anyone on the web
that Bush can't break even on jobs - which is - nobody has faith in the Crooked Moron.
When a small business hires someone, they're gambling that things
will pick up and everybody
knows that a supply0side pinhead who's stealing billions from the economy every day can't
compel anybody to bet on his record of constant failures.
You've heard the expression, "Money talks and BS walks?"
My $200 says Bush is a failure and a fraud and nobody will bet against me.
I'm a gambling man who can't find one A,erican who will bet on Bush.
Where's a big mouth GOP whore when you need one?
Everybody reading this knows a loud-mouth, know-it-all
Republican who loves Bush.
Tell them Bart has $200 that says Bush can't break even on jobs before election night.
Sidebar: Since my odds get better every day, that number will be $300 very soon.
If they won't take the bet, then start doing the chicken dance
around his Nazi desk.
Bawk BAWK, Bawk BAWK, Bawk BAWK, Bawk BAWK!
This is how Kerry wins the debate - if he'll just listen to Ol' Bart.
Call Bush on the facts and force him to explain without a bell to save him.
The economy will stay in the toilet until we elect a Democrat.
Like with Clinton in 1992, if Kerry wins in November, the boom will begin before Christmas.
Even before he takes office, things will pick up because the economy is all about expectations.
...but if Bush steals another term, and he might since a-holes
like Russert are on the payroll,
the economy will continue to swirl downward like water in a toilet bowl.
Vote your wallet, America, ...and save a few hundred soldier's lives as a bonus.
Society and the theocons - a match made in hell.
by James Higdon
Illustrative of The Federalist Society is their view on abortion. They dismiss it merely by stating that the
Constitution offers no "right to an abortion." And of course it doesn't. Yet it doesn't forbid it either.
If the argument ended there, it would be up to the government, either federal or local, to make laws in
favor of allowing abortions or to prohibit them. But the argument doesn't end there.
What the Supreme Court recognized in its
decision regarding Roe v. Wade (The Federalist Society and
theocons rely that the vast majority of Americans will never read this enlightened opinion) was an individual's
right to privacy. The government has no right to intrude on a woman's personal consultations with her doctor,
and the government has no right to instruct the doctor as to what is best for his/her patient.
"He made the choice to leave. He resigned the
office of his own free will. Aristide had worn out his welcome.
He was democratically elected but he didn't govern in a democratic manner and had reached the point where
clearly the opposition groups, rebels, were increasingly successful at undermining his authority."
--Dick Cheney, explaining why patriotic Americans should chase Bush from Washington DC Attribution
Visit www.deckofbush.com for your deck today!
"Aristide has demonstrated through his leadership
over the years and through his use
of violence that he was not the sort of person that we should prop up in power.
We do not have an obligation to put forces at risk to support people who do not do the
basic things to help themselves, governing justly, effectively, honestly."
--Assistant Secretary Roger Noriega, the State Department's top Latin American diplomat,
explaining why patriotic Americans should chase Bush from Washington DC Attribution
Question: Of all the people on planet Earth, has anybody
killed more people in 2003 or 2004 than Bush?
Bush has a death fetish and people all around the world hate him for it.
Subject: radio show review
I've been reading your page faithfully since
the fraud took over in 2000, but I finally got around
to subscribing so I could get the radio show as well (I miss Mike Malloy, what can I say, and
somebody's gotta pick up the slack).
Let me just say that it's one of the best
things I've ever done. Very entertaining, and I might add
after listening to shows 24 through 29, the production is getting better and better.
(as a fellow poker player, you'll appreciate
this:) I usually fire up a show, then log onto my favorite
online poker site and play and listen. In the last three days, I've made it through shows 26, 27, 28 & 29,
and won $60.00 in the process. So not only are you providing good liberal entertainment, but you're
apparently a pretty decent good luck charm as well. You and T. Mack just keep 'em coming!
I'm all in.
Kerry directly accused Republicans of stealing the 2000 election for Bush.
"What can you do to prevent them from stealing
the election again?" Kerry asked a crowd o
at the MLK Center in Hollywood, his first stop in a three-city Florida campaign swing Monday.
"We're going to pre-check it, we're going to have
the legal team in place," said Kerry.
"We're going to take injunctions where necessary ahead of time. We'll pre-challenge if necessary."
"I'm often asked how it feels to run for the highest
office in the land," Kerry said.
"I don't have a clue. I'm not running for secretary of state of Florida."
Democratic crowds roared at the reminder
of Cruella Harris, who gave the initial order
to stop the recounting of votes in 2000. Harris is now a Sarasota-area Congresswoman.
More signs of life from Kerry.
He's saying the things we want to hear.
"If Bush can find time to go to a rodeo, he
spend more than one hour before the commission."
--John Kerry, putting the Usurper in a box Bart-style Attribution
I'm very impressed with the Kerry campaign the last week or so.
He's saying the things I'd tell him to say.
Bush is on the ropes and Kerry keeps pounding him.
I hope I'm saying the same thing this summer and fall.
EchoStar Pulls Plug on Viacom Channels
Satellite TV giant EchoStar has pulled the plug on MTV, Nickelodeon and CBS
in more than a dozen cities in a legal dispute with Viacom over the price of programming.
As many as 9 million customers of DISH Network
were affected, including New York,
Chicago, Los Angeles and other cities. The move that could threaten their ability to watch,
among other things, the March Madness college basketball tournament.
Oh God, no basketball? Where's my
If I can't watch basketball what reason is there to press on.
What's next? They take soccer and golf away, too?
...as long as they don't screw with The Travel Channel,
I'll be OK.
Tonight, they're playing at Foxwoods - maybe at the table we'll get ...someday.
Marty's Entertainment Page
Bush the flip-flopper
Campaign finance reform? Bush fought it as a matter of principle. At least he fought it as
a matter of principle right up until the moment he signed the bill and claimed credit for it.
Gay marriage? First Bush said it was best
left to the states, until some of the states starting
tweaking Bush's base, when it then became an emergency requiring a Constitutional amendment.
Free trade? Bush was for free trade, until
he imposed steel tariffs, which were an economic
necessity, at least until he lifted them.
Education? While signing the No Child Left
Behind Act, Bush carried on like he was the chairman of the NEA.
But when it came time to provide the money to pay for it, he morphed into the Grinch who stole Christmas.
The one thing Bush has been steady about
is tax cuts. He is for them during times of peace, during times of war,
when the economy is booming, and when we are in a recession. You might call that "steady," but I sure wouldn't call it "leadership."
"I didn't leave Haiti because I wanted to leave
Haiti. They forced me to leave Haiti.
It was a kidnapping, which they call coup d'etat ...a forced resignation for me. It wasn't
a resignation. It was a kidnapping and under the cover of coup d'etat."
-- Jean-Bertrand Aristide, explaining how Bush is anti-democratic Attribution
The BFEE has never believed the people should be free to elect their leaders.
Bush the Smarter crimed himself into power in 1980.
Bush the Moron wasn't elected - he was appointed by a crooked court.
Iraq, Venezuela, Haiti - the BFEE has so much unchecked power and cash
that they can just run the planet like a real life game of RISK, without the risk.
Teen sniper gets life, mentor gets death
From my limited knowledge of the case, this seems about right.
John Allen Muhammad was angry with his wife and terrorized a whole city with random murders.
Lee Boyd Malvo said Muhammed made him do it, but when a man has a loaded gun in his hands,
"He made me" doesn't hold much water.
I know many of you are against the death penalty, and I'm with
you - mostly - but there's no doubt
they got the right people here, and shooting up a whole city is terrorism and I won't lose any sleep
when Muhammed gets the needle. But he's getting out easy. Malvo has 60-plus years of prison coming.
Subject: poor cancer
I heard that Cancer has contracted Bartcop.
I am very sorry to hear this.
Please give my condolences to Cancer.
I will be sending Cancer some balm for its impending red-ass.
Click for details and to order
"Rosie weds longtime girlfriend, slams Bush"
-- A San Fran paper headline, saw it on Leno Monday night
Cabin Republicans to run anti-Bush ads
Gay GOP group - they should be libs - we don't want them in ovens
A group of gay Republicans who supported Smirk in 2000 will air a TV ad opposing
a Bush-backed Constitutional amendment that would prohibit gays from marrying.
The 30-second spot by the Log Cabin Republicans
shows Cheney at a debate four years ago
saying, "People should be free to enter into any kind of relationship they want to enter into."
The ad begins Thursday in several states.
The VP also says: "I don't think there should
necessarily be a federal policy in this area."
The words "We agree" then flash on the screen. Cheney's daughter, Mary, is gay.
Yes, but Cheney will sell his daughter's dignity for a chance to get elected for the first time.
His GOP greed won't let him love his daughter - he needs those extra billions.
Why the hell would you piss on your credibility by having this on your site?
the wrong figure for Bush Iraqi body count
> This says we've really lost 1188
Ray, who the hell do you think you are?
In Oklahoma, if you walk up to a man and start an attack
that way there would be blood on the floor before you finished your damn sentence. You must live
in Dove City, where people take shit like that with a smile, but it doesn't work here. Not even a little bit.
Like most insane-with-rage people, you have
to state what the hell got your panties in a wad.
You think I'm some kind of mind reader?
Hell you didn't even put anything in the
subject line, so you're just barking at the damn moon.
What's wrong with you?
As a rule, when people get so angry that
they lose their mind and can't make sense, the subject is Israel.
Is that it?
Is that website for or against Israel and you read something you didn't like?
You want me to be responsible for every sentence on that site?
Did you ever consider that the part I wanted
you to read was in the excerpt?
And if you're upset about something in the excerpt, why didn't you f-ing say so?
the Army is low-balling the KIA stats because Chuck the Medic thought he
might've felt a pulse,
why would you go all Mancow on me for saying the truth would be better than a lie?
You need to watch your temper, Ray.
Don't you ever come at me spewing crap like
I'm not the same guy I was two months ago - I'm not crap from anybody these days.
...and the next time you want to display
really strong feelings on some subject,
do us all a favor and tell us what the hell it is..
Delivered to your door - like Sears did in the late 1800's.
Order your CDs today!
Got no speakers in your computer?
That's OK - these play in your car - like magic!
Impress your friends!
Click Here to get 6 BartCop Radio CDs for just $24 Cheeeeap.
Currently shipping shows 28
mixed by professional knobbist Tommy Mack.
Remember, if you PayPal, mention your address.
Click Here to send us your review of the most recent show.
The Joe Conason-Gene Lyons movie premiers July 4th.
Texas Gov. Rick Perry is denying widespread rumors that he and his wife plan to divorce
over his alleged infidelity and that he will resign from office, according to a published report Friday.
Perry told an Austin paper that political enemies are responsible for the "smear campaign."
The first-term Republican, who was elected
in 2002, said Thursday he was forced to respond publicly
because the "obvious, orchestrated effort" had reached critical mass, with rumors spread by e-mail and on Web sites.
Perry said the rumors "are not correct in
any shape, form or fashion. These are irresponsible. They're salacious.
They're hurtful to my family."
The governor's press staff has said it has
fielded calls about the rumors for about two months.
The rumors he's talking about were that his wife walked in and
caugh the governor laying some pipe to
the Texas Attorney General (male) and she was going to divorce him and tell the world what she witnessed.
I figured it was false and the "going to" was the giveaway.
Those transitory verbs (if that's what they are) provide an escape natch for the story teller.
If Mrs. Perry filed (past tense) for divorce, then you have a story.
Of course, you didn't hear these rumors on bartcop.com
because we don't do the salacious rumor thing.
Nothing but the facts on bartcopcom
Saw it on onlinejournal.com - a site with great integrity
In FY 1973-74, Bush was credited with only 12 such training periods in the 10 months and 26 days
remaining in his six-year military service obligation. Because of the limits on making up missed training
periods, Bush would have had, at minimum, 24 unexcused absences during FY 1973-74.
Thus under federal statutory law, federal
regulations, and Air Force regulations, Bush was guilty of
unsatisfactory participation during his last two years of service in the United States military.
Under the regulations at that time, this
"failure" should have resulted in Bush being reported to
Air Reserve Personnel Center (ARPC), and ordered to Active Duty for up to 24 months.
I know people who have said, "Our
cat hasn't come home in weeks - that's too bad."
I also know of big, beefy, Bounty brand Paper Towel-looking men,
who could kick my ass inside of 15 seconds,
turn into Bob Dole at Nixon's funeral when talking about a lost German Shephard.
We had a scare last night.
We have two cats, Bart and Goldie.
As a rule, when she gets home, BartCop Manor becomes The Mirage and The Kitty Show begins.
Update for newer readers:
At BartCop Manor, there is a Hierarchy of Importance.
cats are Number One.
I can live with that.
No man more than me understands the value of premiu... nevermind.
Bart's Touring Sedan was Number Two, but
since it's a 1992 model, and Tulsa
recently had a monster hail storm in November...State Farm was nice enough to total Mrs. Bart's Touring
Sedan which is plenty driveable, ...so maybe there is a God.
Uh, ...remember that hail storm ...it'll come up again
Then comes Ol' Bart
When she got home Monday night, there was no Bart.the Cat.
Since the usual double-airlock security restrictions were
in place all afternoon, logic told me there was no problem,
but my current situation under the circumstances was no better than the Al-Rashid Hotel in downtown Baghdad
I know dozens of you have been thru 100 times worse situations, I'm just sayin' what happened today.
this is a fluff story with a happy ending.
I offered to do a "perimiter check," which is this case is a walk
around the house.
Hell, the cat could be in a window and not visible to someone inside the house in the dark.
This never works, but you really old folks might remember on the
old black & white TV show "Lassie,"
Billy (whoever) would always look at Lassie and say, "Which deserted mine are the people trapped in?"
...and Lassie would say, "Mine 43, just two miles out of town on the Santa Fe Trail," and they'd go save them.
So. Mr Science and Logic, also known as BartCop, looks at Goldie
the cat and says,
"Hey, why don't you tell your brother in that kitty language that Mrs Bart is worried and the joke's over?
Koresh as my witness, Goldie disappeared and came back minutes later with Bart the Cat.
Bart the Cat looks a lot like this guy, without so much the Busch box.
So everything turned out cool.
In the cat-getting-out poker game, I had pocket Aces.
I'm no George Bush - ain't no cats getting away on my watch.
Click to Enter
If you have something important send it to Sam at email@example.com
We have a new address for advertisers - firstname.lastname@example.org
It pays to advertise on bartcop.com
The net's best advertising bargain!
Make your deal today before May 1, when convention prices take effect.
I became a BartCop member
Click Here Now with working link
I thought... "Hey, this guy's only asking for $10/month to *live* on, while he's been, and is willing
to continue, doing this for all of us. And here I am giving away something I could have gotten $700
bucks to some guy who can afford a bar, just because he's a moderately decent guy and I feel sorry
for him for getting screwed by the same person who just screwed me.
What kind of f-ed up perspective is that?
If you want to say why you signed up, there's a link inside.
This business is owned and operated by Erik Schimek and Rick Hansen.
We're both good lefties, fighting the good fight. We believe that business
can be done honestly, fairly, and without resorting to BFEE-style tacitcs.
Blocks Medicare Chief Appointment
This can't be a real story - it just can't be...
Democratic Sen. Bryon Dorgan of North Dakota announced plans Tuesday to block
the Senate's confirmation of Mark McClellan, Bush's choice to run Medicare, until he
answers senators' questions about drug reimportation.
"That is not satisfactory to me," Dorgan said
in a news release. "I intend to put a hold
on Dr. McClellan's nomination until he complies with the request of the Commerce
Committee chairman to appear and testify."
A single senator can block a nomination
from moving forward by placing a hold on it.
This can't be real.
The Democratic senators had no
problem with religiously-insane Ashcroft's nomination.
The Democratic senators had no problem with Bush lying about Iraq's WMDs.
The Democratic senators had no problem with Ted Olson being Solicitor General.
The Democratic senators had no problem with Bush emptying the Teasury.
The Democratic senators had no problem with the suspension of the Constitution.
The Democratic senators had no problem with Bush lying about 9-11.
The Democratic senators had no problem with Bush's drunken global rape, but when
it comes down to running Medicare, it was time to stand up and say, "That's enough?"
a pro-Bush comedian get laughs?
The short answer is no
Miller hasn't had much luck with his timing. His openly pro-Bush show debuted just as Kerry became the front-runner
and the president's poll numbers went into a nosedive. No WMD in Iraq, an out-of-control budget and widespread
revulsion at the tough-talking cowboy in the White House. You could hardly pick a worse time to declare yourself for
the president and hope to get good ratings. In fact, Millers ratings did start out well, with 746,000 people (a huge figure
by CNBC standards) tuning in to the first episode, in which he interviewed his pal Musclehead, but theyve slipped down
to the 300,000 range since then.
Now compare that to Jon Stewart and The
Daily Show, the gold standard (how
true) for television news-comedy, which
has attracted as many as 1.9 million viewers on Comedy Central at 11 p.m., more than serious news shows on Fox, CNN
and MSNBC can summon in the same time slot. Stewart, who was recently on the cover of Newsweek, is now so esteemed
that a lot of people consider his faux news show to be a more valuable source of information than tired old establishment
warhorses like World News Tonight, and in some ways they're correct.
I'd pay real money to watch Jon Stewart (or myself) kick Miller's
ass in a live chat room.
Miller bet on the wrong horse at the exactly wrong time. Miller mortgaged his career on
Bush's reputation just as the Bush lies surfaced and how he's s-out-of-luck, the disgraced bastard.
American soldier body count in Iraq
Bush lied, and caused 551 Americans their lives - and counting.
"Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies."
--Groucho Marx, http://www.dailykos.com/story/2004/3/7/213753/1954
Do you have an opinion?
Do any GOP impressions?
Then listen for your call on...
You have two minutes to spit your bit.
"There were a number of people in this administration,
some of the most senior people in this government,
who relied on the information that came from Chalabi's group to a greater extent than did the intelligence
community. They were looking at information that seemed to simply confirm a pre-conceived notion of an
extremely threatening Iraq, that was deeply in bed with different terrorist groups, and on the cusp of acquiring
the most advanced, most dangerous weapons of mass destruction. And of course, this was very much in accord
with what Ahmad Chalabi had been saying for years, if not decades. And so, they were looking through the
intelligence and picking out those pieces of intelligence that supported that view, pushing aside the stuff that
didn't support that view, doing it without necessarily looking hard at the reliability of the sources."
--Ken Pollack, on 60 Minutes, "Now He Tells Us" Attribution
Really - why didn't you say this a year ago and save 1188 American lives?
World Poker Tour - Foxwoods - tonight.
We put $3687 on the credit card for a new Mac G5 and monitor
so Tommy can edit radio shows,
(Hey - I finally bought a Mac! :)
$3678 - cost of new computer.
$3284 - raised.
We're so close to home, I can hear Jack Nicholson saying, "Here's
which means Mrs Bart is watching her favorite DVD of all time, The Shining.
If you would care to help us with the Mac expenses, you
could contribute via PayPal
(Oddly, it helps if you send an abby-normal amount, like $51 instead of $50)
If you prefer the mail, our address is bartcop.com PO Box 54466 Tulsa, OK 74155
Show 30 is up.
Extra thank yous to the subscribers and Mac donators.
Your contributions allow us to continue beating up the Bush monkey and his Nazi gangsters.
offers $10K to anyone
who saw Bush show up in the ANG
Click for reward details
Subject: Show 30
Show 30 has great content, as usual, but
what was up with your mic?
It kind of sounds like you recorded the show in a barrell.
AS, this is one of the thousands of things I can't explain.
I either hit a slide on the mixing board, or I encoded it "funny,"
or maybe God was just giving me another slap in the face.
Whatever it was, it's gone now, because the opener and closer
sounded OK and that's always the last thing that gets put into the mix.
Someday, we'll be big enough to afford an in-house knobbist
maybe I'll make enough to move to LA and Tommy can make it work.
Every six months or so I say this, and it's time, so I'll say
Somewhere out there is a Democratic millionaire to whom $500,000 means
nothing more than a nice little deduction on his/her taxes, but since time is limited,
it would be really nice to hear from him/her sooner rather than later.
Use this portal
and they'll throw bartcop.com four cents.
If you spend $250,000 - they'll send bartcop.com $10,000.
Click to Order
Wesley Clark Betty Bowers & more John Kerry Michael Moore Eric Alterman Kevin Phillips
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2004, bartcop.com
has landed, and it's hueueueuge.
Special Bonus: Nobody dies this week.
E-mail us at email@example.com
To hear the radio shows, you must have a login and password.
Click Here to subscribe and get your login and password.
This show could use some 'splainin'
The audio is Parts One and Two is imperfect.
It's plenty listenable, but it sounds more "AM radio" than Parts Three thru Six
Tommy's English interview segment closes this show,
but he ran into a 69 year-old grizzly bear named
Ann Doyle who gave Tommy all he could handle - ha ha
Also, Tally the Weather Vixen does a short rant that's probably
the most intelligent bit ever done on the young BartCop Radio Network.
I hope you enjoy Show 30.
Click Here to listen
to Part 1 of Show
Click Here to download Part 1 of Show 30
Click Here to listen
to Part 2 of Show
Click Here to download Part 2 of Show 30
Click Here to listen
to Part 3 of Show
Click Here to download Part 3 of Show 30
Click Here to listen
to Part 4 of Show
Click Here to download Part 4 of Show 30
Click Here to listen
to Part 5 of Show
Click Here to download Part 5 of Show 30
Click Here to listen
to Part 6 of Show
Click Here to download Part 6 of Show 30
Here for the radio archives
If your GOP workplace doesn't want you to
see the truth, use these mirrors.
One of my favorites...
Shrl, call The BartPhone,
just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Joint on your next American tour.
bartcop.com and BartCop are trademarks of attempts