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  In Today's Treehouse...
Bush signs fetus bill
A look at Bush reversals 
A Message from Piggy 
D-r-i-v-e   b-y   N-e-w-
Cancer on the Presidency
Is Condi guilty of perjury? 
War video trouble for W 
To the Moon, George
Stern shocks listeners


Quote of the Day

"We hang the petty thieves and 
  appoint the great ones to public office." 
     --Aesop (620 BC - 560 BC),  Attribution


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Volume 1286 -  Fireduck

  Friday   April 2, 2004


"This administration's reliance on smear tactics is unprecedented in modern U.S. politics
  - even compared with Nixon's. Even more disturbing is its readiness to abuse power
  - to use its control of the government to intimidate potential critics."
       --Paul Krugman, "This Isn't America",  Attribution

 Bush signs fetus-protection bill 
  If a women miscarries, Ashcroft will indict them for 'depraved indifference'

  Click  Here

 The Unborn Victims of Violence Act, which took five years to get through Congress,
 makes it a crime to harm a fetus during an assault on a pregnant woman.

 Bush has said he opposes abortion on Tuesdays, Thursdays and weekends, but would
 allow them on Mondays, Wednesdays and Frodays. That position has become a standard
 line in most of his speeches.

 Rice's scrapped 9/11 speech didn't mention al Qaeda
  Maybe that's because she didn't know what Al Qaeda was

  Click  Here

 Condoleeza Rice planned to deliver a speech on September 11, 2001, about national security
 that said nothing about Osama bin Laden, al Qaeda or Islamic fundamentalist groups.

 Excerpts of that speech were reported in The Washington Whore Post on Thursday, and the
 excerpts were confirmed by administration sources. NSC officials said the speech was meant
 to be a broad look at the administration's efforts to fight terrorism. In it, Rice argued that the
 United States should build a missile defense system.

 So, while the BFEE was trying to figure out how to steal billions from a phony Star Wars scam,
 they didn't bother to watch bin Laden because Clinton was tracking him and they always have to
 do things the opposite of the correct way Clinton did them - so they screwed up - BIG time.

 They got caught sleeping on 9-11, invaded the wrong country to steal some oil and get petty revenge
 for his daddy and still some people like Bush's handling of terrorism?


My good friend and double-fest attendee Slabby

 Bush's 9-11 committee reversals

  Click  Here

 # He argued a federal Department of Homeland Security wasn't needed, then devised a plan to create one.

 # He resisted a commission to investigate Iraq intelligence failures, but then relented.

(c) 2004, salamander.eps


"There is something ignorant in the way they dismiss the overthrow of a brutal dictator
  and the sowing of the seeds of basic human freedom in that troubled part of the world.
  It hurts an awful lot more when it's your son that is being criticized...."
      --George Herbert Herbert Bush, who seems to have forgotten that he also warned
         his stupidest son not to go into Iraq alone and create a horrible quagmire Attribution

 A Message for Fallujah
   by Piggy Noonan

  Click  Here

"We know what the men and boys who did the atrocity of Fallujah look like; they posed for the cameras.
 We know exactly what they did--again, the cameras. We know they massed on a bridge and raised their
 guns triumphantly. It's all there on film. It would be good not only for elemental justice but for Iraq and its
 future if a large force of coalition troops led by U.S. Marines would go into Fallujah, find the young men,
 arrest them or kill them, and, to make sure the point isn't lost on them, blow up the bridge."

 ...so Halliburton can rebuild it and bill the taxpayers $20M?

 Americans had no business in Fallujah and no business (other than stealing oil) in Iraq.
 The blood on those people is on the hands of Bush, Cheney and Runsfeld.
 They insisted on murdering Baghdad when the whole world begged them not to.

Click  to  order


"The media are finished with their big blowouts on the anniversary of the invasion of Iraq,
  and there is one thing they forgot to say: We're sorry. Sorry we let unsubstantiated claims
  drive our coverage. Sorry we were dismissive of experts who disputed White House charges
  against Iraq. Sorry we let a band of self-serving Iraqi defectors make fools of us. Sorry we fell
  for Colin Powell's performance at the United Nations. Sorry we couldn't bring ourselves to
  hold the administration's feet to the fire before the war, when it really mattered. Maybe we'll
  do a better job next war."
       --Rick Mercier, Attribution

 D-r-i-v-e  b-y  N-e-w-s

 Three More U.S. Troops Injured in Iraq Attack
  Injured troops were flown to a combat support hospital

  Click  Here

 Fox News and the Iraq War
  Will the FOX war cheerleaders admit they lied for their ally Bush?

  Click  Here

 Gangsters in the White House
  Bush puts a hit out on whoever dares to question the don

  Click  Here

 Paul Hornung in trouble for racial comments
 "Lower academic standards so blacks can get into Notre Dame."

  Click  Here

 Medicare's Hidden Bonanza
  Bush buddy makes $500 million on new Medicare plan

  Click  Here

Click  to  Order


 They started with a bang - this from USAToday.com

 Meanwhile, Air America kicked off its first day in five markets, with guests
 on Franken's show including former Bob Kerry and filmmaker Michael Moore.

 When host Randi Rhodes got into an argument with Ralph Nader about
 why she thought he should not run for president, Nader hung up on her.

 All in all, a good first day, says Shelley Lewis, an Air America programmer.
 "It's been really fun, lively and we were literally overwhelmed by e-mails and
 phone calls. It's going great."

 I listened to  http://www.super62.com/listen/index.php
 out of Portland and didn't get any dropouts thru an entire hour.

 Rush Limbaugh's Biography
  as seen on  www.pssht.com

  Click  Here

 After using his pilonidal cyst - a congenital birth defect - to avoid military service in the Vietnam War,
 Limbaugh briefly worked for radio stations in Pittsburgh, PA and Kansas City, MO.  Fired from both jobs,
 he worked as a wiener salesman for the KC Royals baseball franchise, eventually slithering back into the radio business.

 In 1971 Limbaugh attended Southeastern Missouri University,  where, according to reports, he had a brief but heated
 affair with Elliot Sanders.  So gay is Limbaugh, guarantees Sanders,  that, "none of his marriages was ever consummated."

Click to order/get more info

Marty's Entertainment Page

 Cancer on the Presidency

  Click  Here

 The president's team is wrong to believe its outrageous lies can continue to lull a gullible public.
 Nixon's lies won him a second election, but then he lost the country.

 Bush smiles better than Nixon, but when the lies are exposed, the smile turns into a character-revealing smirk.
 That happened last week when the White House released photos of a skit, performed for the amusement of
 jaded media heavyweights, in which the president pretended to look under his desk for the missing WMDs.
 This may have amused his cynical audience, but to the general public, the carefully lip-synced policy
 pronouncements of the man who cried wolf has morphed into a sick joke."

 Subject: Whitehouse.org

 Whitehouse.org is one of my favorite anti-Bush satire sites.

 It looks like it was hacked, so all links to it now re-direct to www.cybercrime.gov, Ashcroft's anti-cybercrime site.

 Does anyone know what's up with this?
 What do we do if your site gets hacked like this?


 I'm not sure, but Betty Bowers is going to be angry.

 Is Condi guilty of perjury?

  Click  Here

"When Condoleezza Rice testifies to the 9-11 commission, she will face questions that have intensified
 in the 30 months since the attacks. She will be asked to clarify apparent contradictions between how
 the administration explains its policies and actions and the way Richard Clarke describes them.

 Chairman Thomas Kean said Tuesday that the panel also plans to examine possible contradictions between
 earlier private testimony Rice gave to the commission and statements she has made to the news media."


 Police: Wisconsin Student Changes Story

  Click  Here

 A college student who said she was abducted from her apartment has changed her story,
 saying she was taken from somewhere else instead, police said Friday.

 She initially told police she was abducted at knifepoint from outside her apartment early Saturday.
 Assistant Police Chief Noble Wray said Friday she changed her story when investigators
 confronted her with inconsistencies in her account.

 You'd think the murder po-lice could outwit this girl and get to the bottom of this.

The "Red-Ink Reagan" cap comes in three versions:

"I did not rape that woman, ...Selene Waters."


"They told me trickle-down worked, I'm sorry, ...so sorry..."


"There were no weapons on those two planes Col. North flew to Iran."

 Subscribe today!

 Stern Shocks Listeners with April Fool's Hoax

  Click  Here

 Instead of hearing Stern and his sidekicks open the morning show,
 Tom Chiusano read a statement saying the show was taken off the air.

"Viacom can no longer bear the weight of the government pressure and
 its affects on our corporation," he said, adding, "While we're sorry to end
 the Howard Stern Show, we promise quality programing in the future."

 After the message, two other deejays then played about an hour of music
 interspersed with sterile banter and a promise of a show with "all the fun without the filth."

 Grisly war video could shake confidence

  Click  Here

 The video posted on Web sites and aired on evening TV newscasts Wednesday was reminiscent
 of the grisly footage of a dead American soldier being dragged through the streets of Mogadishu.
 Public support for the mission collapsed, and President Clinton in short order withdrew U.S. forces.

 For Bush, the question is: Will revulsion at the murder and mutilation of four American contractors
  - and a spike in the death toll among U.S. troops - shake public opinion about whether the
 invasion of Iraq was justified and the occupation worth its costs?

 This illegal invasion was certainly worth it for Bush and his thug friends.
 Some estimates of the BFEE's take from this war exceed $100 million per week.

Will Hollywood make a big budget movie about this day
and say that Bush's boneheaded blunders caused this?

No, they only do that to Democratic presidents.

 An excerpt from Show 33

  Click  Here

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 ...did I mention that the shows you get on CD sound great?

 To save money, we can only encode the webcast shows at 20K, which also
 makes it easier for a 28K modem to download, but quality is sacrificed.

 In the CD versions, you're getting 128K of super-clear Hi-Fi ...and, (yes there's more)
 ...and they ship that day or the next day.  None of that "Allow six to eight weeks for delivery" crap.

 Subject: Re: Weapons Hunt Shifts to 'Intent' in Iraq

 What they don't tell you is that the search will be conducted
 by Jeane Dixon, the Amazing Kreskin, and the other John Edwards.



Click to Enter

 To the Moon, George, to the Moon
   by Al Franken

  Click  Here

"Bush dropped Mars because the idea tested even more poorly than his faith-based Bureau of Weights and Measures.
 But why didn't anyone make fun of him for it? Can you imagine if Bill Clinton had done this? The right-wing media
 would have been all over him. "This is the most poll-driven, purely political administration in history!" they would have crowed.
 It would have started with Rush Limbaugh, then reverberated through the right-wing echo chamber and into the mainstream
 media until it finally landed on an op-ed page like this one.

 But when Bush did it, no one made a peep. Bush got a pass on this, as he's gotten a pass on so many other things,
 because there's no liberal echo chamber in this country. But starting March 31 at noon, there will be one.


 Roots and Glocks

 BartCop Manor was built in 1964, before liberals took over the plumbing code,
 so every Spring we have to hire Roto Rooter to come out and snake the main pipe
 and cut thru the roots that grow into the pipeline and cause the backup.

 When there's a backup - Mrs. Bart is not pleased.

 Before Roto Boy got there, I went out back to locate the drain for him to de-clog.
 While in my back yard, the neighbor's pit bull joined me.

 You know the rule - if my Glock can't kill it, I'm afraid of it.
 Bees and Grizzley bears scare me, but pit bulls scare me less.

 ...but I'm not looking to play poker with some unknown pit bull, so I grabbed the Glock.

 Roto Boy shows up, I explain the problem, and he says "No biggie, I have a knife."
 He had some piddling four-inch blade that wouldn't stop a senate democrat.

 I'm no pit bull expert, but I've read stories of pit bulls taking multiple gun shots to the head
 and still not letting go of their bite victim, ...and I didn't want Roto Boy dying in my back yard.

 So I stood there, like f-ing Billy Jack, my Baby Glock concealed by a one-liter Crown Royal bag,
 (they say that's the best way to store/carry a weapon of fine repute) while Roto Boy did his job.

 What else could I do?
 Roto Boy seeemed to think he was f-ing Tarzan with mad pit bulls,
 and I wasn't looking forward to calling 9-11 and saying "Roto Rooter man down."

 I figured if the worst came true and I had to unload on the dog,
 hopefully Rooter Boy would remain frozen so I could get a few good shots off.

 ...In the end, the dog didn't charge, and the owner called
  to apologize after reading the note I put on his door.

 If you have something important send it to Sam at sam@bartcop.com

 We have a new address for advertisers - ads@bartcop.com

  It pays to advertise on  bartcop.com

 The net's best advertising bargain!

 Make your deal today  before May 1, when convention prices take effect.


"Talk radio is a medium for expressing clear-cut, black-and-white, passionately articulated views.
  Nuances don't work. But as Roger Craver, the dean of direct-mail liberal fundraising, told us:
  Liberals "have this Y chromosome that looks for balance and dignity and decency
  They don't know how to go for the jugular.
  That's one reason why liberals haven't done well in mass communications."
     -- Richard A. Viguerie and David Franke,  Attribution

 People might be surprised how well  Bartcop Radio is doing.

Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
 Bush lied, and caused   600  603  Americans their lives - and counting.

When will we stop having to total up the dead heroes?
When President Kerry takes the oath?


 Wrong woman hurt in 'rape fantasy' tryst 
  Idiot sets up "rape fantasy," then gets the wrong address

  Click Here

 Michael Todd Howard, 35, pleaded guilty in a court in San Diego Tuesday in return
 for an expected sentence of one year in jail and probation, prosecutors said.

 According to court documents, last September, Howard broke into the home of a woman
 with whom he thought he had set up an encounter on what was described as a "rape fantasy" chat site.

 The victim stopped the attack by yelling and attacking Howard's testicles.

 Subject: Why I subscribed to BartCop Radio

 I was a late comer to Bartcop.  I'd heard a little about it from other on-line acquaintances, but never got around
 to checking it out.  Even after the Election theft in 2000, which to this day makes me physically ill to think about,
 and after Bush implementing his Flying Monkey Right wet dream policies, I still never thought to type in the BC address.
 9/11 happened and I did my patriotic duty by rallying around the pResident and supporting the action in Afghanistan.

 I knew from Campaign 2000 that the media was intolerably pro Bush.  Now they were all but heralding him as the
 Second Coming.  Disagree with the Boy King?  Why, then you're unpatriotic, unAmerican and a supporter of bin Laden
 and Saddam Hussein.  I had friends who felt the way I did, so I knew I wasn't suffering from delusions.    Surely, others agreed.

 I hadn't thought about Bartcop for over a year and thought I'd check it out.  From the first page, I was hooked....and I mean
 Pigboy/Cabbage/Oxycontin hooked!!    Somebody else was as angry as I was.  Somebody else saw that the emperor was a
 buck-nekkid, sawed-off little $hit.  It was a like a breath of fresh air.

 And when Bart was able to go radio, I knew I had to check it out.
 Like a kid learning to ride a bike, there were a few scrapes and bruises in the beginning.
 But he's turning into Lance Armstrong with every new show.  The Tour de Bart is worth every penny!!
 So hold the hillbilly heroin and spend your cabbage to catch the fever..the BC fever!!

 Keep Hammering, Bart!!


 Smear Without Fear
    saw it on smirkingchimp.com

  Click  Here

 A  funny thing happened to David Letterman this week. Actually, it only started out funny.
 And the unfunny ending fits into a disturbing pattern.

 On Monday, Mr. Letterman ran a video clip of a boy yawning and fidgeting during a speech
 by George Bush. It was harmless stuff; a White House that thinks it's cute to have Mr. Bush
 make jokes about missing W.M.D. should be able to handle a little ribbing about boring speeches.

 CNN ran the Letterman clip on Tuesday, just before a commercial. Then the CNN anchor Daryn Kagan
 came back to inform viewers that the clip was a fake: "We're being told by the White House that the kid,
 as funny as he was, was edited into that video." Later in the day, another anchor amended that: the boy
 was at the rally, but not where he was shown in the video.

 On his Tuesday night show, Mr. Letterman was not amused: "That is an out and out 100 percent absolute lie.
 The kid absolutely was there, and he absolutely was doing everything we pictured via the videotape."

Do you have an opinion?
Do any GOP impressions?

Call the

Then  listen for your call on...

You have two minutes to spit your bit.

Click for more info

 Documents Related to Cheney Case Ordered Released
  Wouldn't it be cool if Larry Klayman was the one to take Bush down?    ha ha

  Click  Here

 U.S. District Judge Paul Friedman ordered seven government agencies including the DOE,
 Interior and Bureau of Land Management to hand over pertinent task force documents by June 1.

 He was ruling on a Freedom of Information Act lawsuit brought by Judicial Watch and the National
 Resources Defense Council (NRDC). The two groups had sued to force the various departments
 involved in the energy task force to release documents related to the task force and its deliberations.

 Oh this would be too f-ing sweet for words.
 If Klayman brings down the BFEE, I'm going to buy him a big screen TV.


"This is what happens when you elect a draft dodger as president."
   -- Bob Dornan, subbing for Rush, recalling the 1993 Mogadishu massacre

  Unka Dick said Unka Tony could bury this...

 Wow - change "draft-dodger" to "AWOL punk-ass rich kid, who never worked
 a single day in his whole life" and Dornan might be right - eleven years later.

Garry Trudeau offers $10K to anyone
who saw Bush show up in the ANG

Click for reward details

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Our motto for this year is - "No Anti-Bush Site Left Behind". So - if you have an anti-bush site and you are choking on hosting fees or dealing with threats - let us know and we'll help keep you online.

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 Read the Previous Issue

 It had  everything.

 Copyright © 2004, bartcop.com

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 If your GOP workplace doesn't want you to see the truth, use these mirrors.

   Shirley Manson of the rock group "Garbage."

 Shrl, call  The BartPhone,  just to say "Hi!"
 Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!

 You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-748-1714
 That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Joint on your next American tour.

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