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  In Today's Treehouse...
In love - with Randi Rhodes
Hypocrite of the Week 
Another victory for Jersey girls 
D-r-i-v-e   b-y   N-e-w-
Bush holds Clinton papers
Bush has Osama's vote 
GOP fixing the election 
Cobain's 10th anniversary 
9/11 Chair Expects Surprise


Quote of the Day

"We can't even find out how much Halliburton 
  charges to do the laundry. It's inexcusable that 
  they should keep this information from the 
  Congress, and the people."  
   --Rep. Henry Waxman,   Attribution

  Henry, I can tell you - they're charging us fifty times 
  the going rate - so stop talking about it and file or 
  attempt to file impeachment papers and stir things up.
       ...or, you could continue to whine...


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Volume 1287 -  I'm in Love


  Weekend   April 3-4, 2004


"This country is nuts, and George W. Bush has to go. If you are a fan of mine,
  and I reach millions of people, just get him out of office. Your rights are being taken away."
   -- Howard Stern, quoted by Rolling Stone magazine

 I'm in Love - with Randi Rhodes 

 Saturday, Mrs Bart wanted to go for a long ride in the touring sedan, 1992 model.
 She wanted to see the tutonka
 at the Oklahoma Tallgrass Prarie Preserve
 which is 25 miles east of Pawhuska, Oklahoma.

 That's a four hour trip and we had airamericaradio and Randi Rhodes on the entire time

 She is spectacular.
 She's Paul Begala. James Carville and Ol' Bart rolled into one.
 As much as I like Al Franken and Janeane Garafalo, Randi is the star of the new liberal network.

 She's on weekdays from 3PM-7PM EST and she fills up every minute with Bart-like rage
 at the never-elected monkey and his gang of thugs. I've heard about her for years but I never
 had a chance to hear her go postal until today.  Catch her show, just once, and you're hooked.

 Also, (this is killer) I'm not sure if it's Randi or the network, but they have a continuing series
 about what a whipped ass Alan Colmes is and it's about damn time someone besides me said it.

 Alan Colmes is a tool for Hannity to make look ridiculous. Alan Colmes is NOT on our side.
 He's a whore who pretends he's a liberal so Hannity can kick his ass every single show.
 Hannity is the Harlem Globe Trotters, and Colmes is the never-wins team that travels with Hannity
 so he can lay down while Hannity walks all over him. That enables the FOX whores to say,
"We always give both sides," but if Alan Colmes is there, all you get is a daily crushing by
 the dominant Hannity Nazi and finally - finally someone has agreed with my assessment of him.

 Alan Colmes, you are a whore and a fake and we resent your being Hannity's boy.


"People think Cheney's Energy Task Force has been secretive about domestic issues.
  But if this little group was discussing geostrategic plans for oil, it puts the issue of war in the
  context of the captains of the oil industry sitting down with Cheney and laying grand, global plans."
     --Mark Medish, Clinton's director for Russian affairs at the N.S.C.   Attribution

 Mark, if you had read  bartcop.com  you would've known years ago that Cheney
 was offering up Iraq's oil fields to the highest bidders long before 9-11.

 GOP Hypocrite of the Week: James Thompson
   saw it on buzzflash.com

  Click  Here

 Former Illinois Governor and 9/11 Commission Member "Big Jim" Thompson.
 A former prosecutor, Thompson tried to impugn the integrity of Richard Clarke
 and ended up stalking out of the room in frustration.

 It's hard for a Republican hypocrite to deal with an honest man.

 9/11 Widows: Why?

  Click  Here

 Kristen Breitweiser was at home in Middletown, N.J., cleaning out closets. Patty Casazza of Colts Neck
 was dashing to the dry cleaners. Lorie Van Auken of East Brunswick was headed out to do grocery shopping.
 Her neighbor Mindy Kleinberg had just packed her children off to school.

 Then came word, Tuesday morning, that President Bush had agreed to allow Condoleezza Rice to testify publicly
 about the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. All at once, the cellphones started ringing and the e-mail started flying and
 "the Jersey girls," as the four women are known, were getting credit for chalking up another victory in the nation's capital.

(c) 2004, salamander.eps


"The legacy of the Bush White House is that more than 20,000 West Virginians
  have lost their jobs since he became president. Fewer jobs at home. No pension
  protection. No health care plan. Gambling the future of Social Security and Medicare."
    -- Sen. Robert Byrd, D-Fighter, in the Charleston Gazette this week  Attribution

 White House Holds Back Clinton Papers
  They are so afraid to let the truth come out

  Click  Here

 The White House has not turned over thousands of pages of Clinton documents to the 9-11 panel,
 even though the records are relevant to the panel's mission, one of Clinton's attorneys said yesterday.
 Lindsey said the commission may not have a full picture of Clinton's anti-terrorism efforts.

 White House spokesman Sean McCormack said documents that have not been turned over
 are not relevant to the inquiry. .

 ...not relevant in that they make Clinton look good and make Pinhead look bad?
 Why not release everything and let the public decide what's relevant?

Click  to  order


"Halliburton and their Kuwaiti partners made out like bandits."
    --Youssef Ibrahim, director of the Strategic Energy Investment Group   Attribution

 Why is everyone acting so surprised that the BFEE is making billions from this war?
 If Tequilaboy in Oklahoma with no resources besides a modem knew this years ago, why didn't the experts?
 The Democrats could've read  bartcop.com  in 2001 and known all of this - but they chose to run and hide.

 D-r-i-v-e  b-y  N-e-w-s

 Gov't Warns of Summer Bomb Plots in U.S.
 Bush is a great president to have when the bombs go off

  Click  Here

 Mistrial Declared in Tyco Corruption Case
  Why get the crook who stole billions when you can get Martha, instead?

  Click  Here

 Eli Lilly guinea pig dies during "harmless" test
  Traci Johnson asked God to help her with her tuition - God sent her to Eli Lilly

  Click  Here

 Gateway to close all stores, fire 2,500
  The Bush economy is just as strong as the networks say it is

  Click  Here

 Reversing Pledge, Bush Lets OPEC Bilk Americans
  Candidate Bush promised to pressure OPEC, but daddy must've said no.

  Click  Here

 What happened to Bill Maher's HBO show?

 I thought I hear him say he'd be on each week until the election.

 Drop me a line if you know anything,

 Bush has Osama's Vote
   by my good friend Larry Durstin

  Click  Here

 When the Madrid train bombings were followed a few weeks ago by Spain's electorate throwing out
 its existing leadership in favor of one which had vowed to pull Spanish troops out of Iraq, all kinds of
 speculation arose as to how Al Qaeda - which was behind the bombings - would be emboldened
 to influence elections in other countries.

 Underlying these concerns in America was the conventional wisdom that Osama and the boys might try
 something big before our November election because they desperately want to flush George Bush out
 of office. Well, once again conventional wisdom is wrong, since it's hard to imagine Al Qaeda having
 a better friend in the White House than George W. - a man who seems to have been playing right into
 bin Laden's hands since taking office in January 2001.

Click to order/get more info

Marty's Entertainment Page

 Franken challenges Limbaugh to radio smackdown 


  Click  Here

 "Bush is going down, he is going down, he is going down!" was funny and feisty on Day One.
 But even the most brilliant Ann Coulter material ever conceived will not carry the day. Not even
 joking that the liberal-loathing Coulter said if Al Qaeda has to hit somewhere in the U.S., let it be
 the New York studios of Air America Radio. One of the funnier bits of Day Two was Franken
 whining about being forced to shill a product for people who constantly need to pee.

 Subject: whitehouse.org hoax?

 Re: Last issue issue about WhiteHouse.org:

 The site is fine now, which leads me to believe Bartcop reader Roy fell for an April Fool's Day hoax.
 BC for President

-Great King Rat

 I certainly don't need a fight with whitehouse.org - but where was the joke?
 I remember a few years ago, I came back to the car lot from lunch and Vic said, "Your wife called."
 So I called her and she said, "NO, I didn't call," and there's Vic, laughing his ass off.

 The point of an April Fool's joke is the joke.
 If there's no joke - why bother?

 Republicans are trying to fix the 2004 Election


  Click  Here

 Putting pressure on the Federal Election Commission (FEC) to issue new rules that would
 cripple groups that dare to communicate with the public in any way critical of President Bush

 Supporting Ralph Nader so he can siphon off votes from Kerry

 Assaulting anti-Bush groups

 Using the $160 million dollars campaign war chest--payoffs from their corporate controllers
 --to spread lies about Kerry all over the air waves

 Forcing all states to use flawed electronic voting technology which can easily be used to rig elections

 If Kerry's not going to address the Diebold problem, all the campaigning in the world doesn't matter.
 Does he know something we don't know?

 Remember, in 2002, there were five Democratic candidates who were well ahead of their opponents
 who all suddenly and mysteriously dropped 8-12 points election day (think Max Cleland.) If they're going
 to let the GOP keep a secret score, there's no sense in Kerry spending the money or doing the work.

 It won't help for "sore loserman" Kerry to complain after he loses - he needs to address this now.

 A familiar foreign policy

  Click  Here

 The conquest of defenseless nations is not an idea original to George W. Bush, nor did he create the concept
 of replacing popularly elected governments with puppet regimes. In crafting foreign policy, the totalitarian Texan
 has plagiarized heavily from his ideological role models - the vicious barbarians who ran the Soviet Union.

 The Soviets sacked smaller nations and killed their people and stole their resources in the name of the proletariat.
 Bush sacks smaller nations and kills their people and steals their resources in the name of peace. The commissars
 marketed their butchery as "promoting international socialism" while Bush stains the ground red in the name of
"democratizing the world". For all the self-serving verbiage, the foreign policy of the USSR ultimately existed to
 serve the interests of the oligarchy that ran the country for its own benefit, and the same is true of the Bush foreign policy..

 Subject: Falluja

 Couple of friends of mine -- who are solidly anti-Bush and were anti-war
 -- reacted to the Falluja pictures thusly: "We should nuke the whole place".

 Makes me weep to see that sort of knee-jerk emotional reaction.
 Every friggin' invaded people in the history of the human race has responded this way.
 Black Africans.  Native Americans.  The Vietnamese.  What the hell would we do
 if a more powerful force invaded our country?  I know, unthinkable, right?

 The blame for those men hanging from the bridge lies in one place and in one place only: The Bush White House.

 Peace, love, tequila

 Dude, I understand.
 Right after 9-11, I called for the nuking of Afghanistan.
 That's what a man thinks after an attack, and it's why man is alive today.
 It's what motivates men to go into war, for good reasons and for bad reasons.

 That's why we need a president who's not into this job for personal enrishment.
 War should be the last resort, not the first thing on a chickenhawk's agenda.

 How many families will be destroyed so the BFEE can empty their weapons warehouse?
 How many more phoney wars must be fought to further enrich very rich men?

The "Red-Ink Reagan" cap comes in three versions:

"Deficits don't matter ...as a percentage of GDP."


"I refuse to deal with terrorists - but I'll sell them weapons."


"Ladies and gentlemen, ...Princess David" when introducing Princess Diana.

 Subscribe today!

 9/11 Panel Chairman Expects to Surprise
  The only thing that would surprise me is if they found the truth and printed it

  Click  Here

 The chairman of the commission looking into the Sept. 11 attacks said Sunday that
 some of its findings has surprised him and will surprise the public as well.

"Nobody has any interest in having the report sitting around Washington during the
 election period and pieces of it leaking out. Nobody has any interest in this thing
 coming out September or October, in the middle of the election," Kean said.

"So I think it is in the White House's interest, our interest, everybody's interest to
 get this out in July. And I believe they will."

 I hate to be the pessimist, but we'll get nothing but a handjob out of this.
 Christ, we still have no clue who killed Kennedy, RFK, MLK etc., so why should
 we be told the truth about 9-11?  How can the BFEE make a profit on the truth?

 Don't get your hopes up.  When they give their final report, they'll say Bush was a
 brave and heroic leader that day and we were lucky that "Gore the appeaser" didn't win.

If there's no WMDs in Tikrit, you must admit.

An excerpt from Show 33

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 Subject: cool it with Condi

 Hey Bart, you should cool it with some of the Condi images.
 I don't know if it's some joke I don't get but the image of Condi with the Neck Rings was flirting with the offensive.

 If I saw that image on Rush's website I'd be seriously f-ing pissed.

 Matt, why would you be pissed?
 Is Condi above ridicule for some reason in your eyes?

 She's an apologist for The Theiving Murderer - and I should cool it?
 The pic with the neckrings made me laugh out loud - not many things do.

 Subject: BC, that's just plain racist

 Bro, I read every issue and I'm a HUGE fan of yours but......... that photoshopped bit
 with Condi and the elongated neck is as racist as if she'd been depicted as a lawn jockey!

 Please, take it down (and it wouldn't hurt for you to admit it was poor judgment).

 Jim K.

 Racist?  How do you get racist out of that?
 I have an idea - why don't we let the BFEE defend themselves?

 Subject: Kinda Sleazy Rice neck thingy

 This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life.
 I can't stop giggling. I also can't imagine you're not going to get a lot of shit and get called a racist.
 I know you're not a racist. Tell them funny is funny. It's hysterical.



Click to Enter

 Ten years after death, Kurt Cobain lives in memory

  Click  Here

 Ten years after his death, the memory of the legendary leader of the group Nirvana,
 Kurt Cobain, remains alive, fed by tragic revelations about his life and scandals involving his widow

 Nirvana is seen by experts as a group that changed the history of rock music in the 1990s,
 much like Elvis did in the 1950s, the Beatles and Stones in the 1960s and the Sex Pistols in the 1970s.

 Twenty-seven years of Cobain's dramatic life were marked by the birth of his daughter, Frances Bean,
 and the success of the album "Nevermind," that has sold more than 14 million copies since its 1991 release.

 It's odd that Janis, Jimi, Jim and Kurt all died at 27.
 Right after he died, rumors were that Kurt's mother begged him, "not to join that club."

 We have a new address for advertisers - ads@bartcop.com

  It pays to advertise on  bartcop.com

 Why advertise on  bartcop.com?

 1. Who else will sell you ad space this cheap?
 2. The right people see your ad - very few Nazis read  bartcop.com
 3. You get growth.

 March 30, 2002 -   5,928 unique hits
 March 30, 2003 - 12,473 unique hits
 March 30, 2004 - 23,207 unique hits

 Plus, sometimes we get spikes.

 April  7, 2003 - 49,999  unique hits
 Mar 31, 2004 - 41,833  unique hits

 The net's best advertising bargain!

 Make your deal today  before May 1, when convention prices take effect.


"The problem in Iraq so far is it's slow, and very confusing for people to figure out how to do business there.
  One week you go to Baghdad, and they say the decisions are being made at the Pentagon. Then you go to
  the Pentagon, and they say the decisions are being made in Baghdad. Only Halliburton is making money now!"
      -- Republican lobbyist in Washington,  Attribution

 Remember, the more Americans that die in Iraq, the more money the BFEE makes.
 The American dead gives Bush "the right" to steal Iraq's assets and US taxpayer's money
 and the Democrats and the press just stand there and watch them do it - over and over and over.

 New Jobs Surge 308,000

  Click  Here

 After months of dismal job growth, the nation's employers dusted off their help-wanted signs
 in March and added workers at the quickest pace in four years, swelling payrolls by 308,000.

"Rah rah Bush - he's the greatest!" says corporate America.

"The policies are working," Bush said on his seventh visit to West Virginia, a battleground state
 he hopes to win again. He was there promoting his "Jobs for the 21st Century" training program.

 ...but then reality set in:

"After three years of punishing job losses, the one-month job creation announced today
  is welcome news for America's workers. I hope it continues," Kerry said in a statement.

 Thank you, Senator Kerry.

 Bush and the BFEE and the networks and papers and the talk radio Nazi's have been telling us for years
 how great the Never-elected Fraud is, but I can't find anybody on the internet who will bet me (Bart raises
 the bet)  to $500 that the Bush Monster can't break even on jobs between now and the election.

 ha ha

 Nobody will take that bet because nobody has any faith in the Butcher of Baghdad.

 Sometime in the far future, when I'm not here to defend myself, they will say,
 "Bartcop was always full of crap," and I want each one of you to remind them
 that when I was in the fight, there was nobody on the entire f-ing internet who would
 enter a live chat room with me. To prevent that, I'm asking them to step up now.

 They can't - because they f-ing can't.

 Our ideas are right, and they can't refute them.
 If they could have, they would have, and they haven't, proving they can't.

 The best they can do is to execute a planned escape into religious sanity.
 If they say, "God told me to hate faggots," you're not going to win them over.

 So, c'mon, I live for this stuff and my clock is ticking.


Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
 Bush lied, and caused   603  605  Americans their lives - and counting.

When will we stop having to total up the dead heroes?
When President Kerry takes the oath?


 Death Came Brutally to a Man Who 'Never Quit'

  Click Here

 Stephen "Scott" Helvenston was Hollywood's image of a soldier - blond, bronzed and broad shouldered.
 In fact, the 38-year-old former Navy SEAL trained health-conscious Californians how to pump iron like
 commandos and coached movie stars to play the role of combat-ready recruits.

"You know what they did to him? I can't talk about it," his mother, Kathryn Helvenston-Wettengel,
 told the Orlando Sentinel. "What happened to him is so horrendous."

 From: Crystal L Beard of Huntington Beach, CA

 Subject: Shut up


 Stop being an asshole when it comes to Nader.
 All you do is make yerself look more and more like Russ Limbaugh.
 You provide a great service to a lot of people by putting up your blog every day.

 Stooping to Russ Limbaugh idiocies is really below you.
 You said you had cancer and were gonna change.
 I haven't seen it.  Yer still an asshole.

 Wow - you're the first person to play the cancer card against me.
 Damn, I didn't think anybody would stoop that low.

 Swear to Koresh, several of my stalkers wrote to say, "Tough break, Dude,"
 and here you are, waving that in my face because I accurately point out that Nader
 gave Bush the White House and is trying his best to do it a second time this year?

 Be more respectful to Nader.

 No, screw Nader.

 He's not trying to give the white house to anyone.

 Of course he is.
 He did it once, and people like you are proud that he did.
 Now he's proud to help Bush into a second term that he doesn't deserve.
 You could say he didn't realize what he was doing in 2000, but this year he knows all too well..

 He is running because he has the ballz to do it.  He realizes how f-ed up the two party system is
 and how the democrats are really in the middle now.  He doesn't want Bush to win.
 Stop saying it cuz all you are doing is Russ Limbaugh mind poisoning.


 Your hero is going to give Bush another four years he doesn't deserve.
 That makes you a Bush fan.

 You claim you're for Nader, but Nader = a vote for Bush no matter how you slice it.
 If you love Bush that much - stand up like a man and say you're voting for him.
 Don't hide under Nader's skirt and play this silly "They're all the same" game.

Do you have an opinion?
Do any GOP impressions?

Call the

Then  listen for your call on...

You have two minutes to spit your bit.

Click for more info

 Texas passes up chance to execute someone
  I had to read this five times to be sure I got it right

  Click  Here

 A woman who claimed God ordered her to bash in the heads of her sons was acquitted of all charges
 by reason of insanity Saturday after a jury determined she did not know right from wrong during the killings.

 Trust me - Texas never passes up a chance to murder someone,
 or maybe things are different now that they've gotten rid of Bush.


"All the trouble in Iraq is because of Bremer. He didn't listen to Iraqis. He doesn't know anything about Iraq.
  He destroyed the country and tried to rebuild it again, and now we are in chaos. Paul Bremer has caused more
  damage than the war, because the bombs can damage a building but if you damage people there is no hope."
      --Hamid Jassim Khamis, Attribution

Garry Trudeau offers $10K to anyone
who saw Bush show up in the ANG

Click for reward details

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 If your GOP workplace doesn't want you to see the truth, use these mirrors.

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