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The great Bruce Yurgil
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Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Quote of the Day
"My dad thinks my mom's funny
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"I call upon the president to stop equivocating
on the Sudan problem."
- John Kerry, speaking a language most Americams don't understand Attribution
John, you can win the South or the coyote states if you talk intelligently.
People understand "Fish or cut bait," but they don't know what "equivocating,"
means so they'll want to vote for Bush because at least he talks like they think.
Mgr: Release the Bush Records
Does Mary Beth Kahill read bartcop.com? letter dated 7/13
...we find your outrage over and paparazzi-like obsession with a fund-raising event to be misplaced.
...we will not consider your request until [you] make public the documents/materials listed below:
The Cheney Energy Task Force:
Prison Abuse Documents:
That was July 13.
In Volume 1353 - Torture Fetish, which was dated July 10-11, it said:
> Number Two - If our side had any brains,
f-ing brains at all, we would answered their demand to release
> that tape by saying, "We'll release that tape right after Cheney releases his Energy task Force notes,"
> which not only defangs the fundraiser crap, but it puts the onus back on the Nazi bastards who killed 900
> of our brave soldiers in Iraq because Cheney and Kennyboy split up Iraq's oil fields way back in 2001.
I don't need to be paid for my advice.
I don't even need a thank you or a mention.
All I ask is that you follow the advice.
"Hey, this Bart fella's good.
...maybe he'd work for us??
"So let me get this straight: The army, confronted
with the fact it doesn't have enough
musicians to play at all the soldier's funerals, looks at that problem and comes up with
this solution - hire more musicians. You know I'm not a military man but it seems to me
that those guys might want to start thinking outside the coffin on this one.
Maybe less dead people. It's a thought."
--Jon Stewart Attribution
Kill Mosul Governor
"I trusted Bush
and now I'm dead"
Attackers killed Osama Kashmoula, the governor of the Mosul Wednesday as he
was driving in a convoy of vehicles toward Baghdad, an Interior Ministry source said.
"We will track down these criminals and bring
them to justice," said Bush's puppet Allawi.
Allawi's comments to The Associated Press came amid a spate of new violence, including
a car bomb Thursday that killed 10 people and wounded 40 others. Also, a decapitated
body wearing an orange jumpsuit was found in the Tigris River, possibly that of a foreigner taken hostage.
...yet America likes what Bush has done with Iraq?
They keep calling Bush "Churchillian" and "Reaganesque,"
but from where I'm standing, he looks more like Custer.
Before I even heard the body of the message
the music with the voice-over from Network
("I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it any more!") I was HOOKED!
Great job, BC!
I think Tally & Tommy did a great job on those.
I sent them $100 for their work, but that block of four ads probably would have
cost $2000-$3000 if we had to pay retails for that caliber of talent.
"We don't do politics at Homeland Security."
--Tom Ridge, Republican baby killer,
and betrayer of his sacred Catholic faith Attribution
in anti-Bush T-shirts arrested at Smirk speech
I'm so old, I remember when it was legal to protest against the government
A husband and wife who wore anti-Bush T-shirts to the president's Fourth of July appearance
aren't going down without a fight: They will be represented by lawyers from the ACLU as they
contest the trespassing charges against them Thursday morning in Charleston Municipal Court.
Police took Nicole and Jeff Rank away in
handcuffs from the event, which was billed as a presidential
appearance, not a campaign rally. They were wearing T-shirts that read, "Love America, Hate Bush."
Spectators who wore pro-Bush T-shirts and Bush-Cheney campaign buttons were allowed to stay.
"We weren't doing anything wrong," said Jeff Rank.
The couple, who said they had tickets just like
everybody else, said they simply stood around the Capitol steps with the rest of the spectators.
"We sang the national anthem," Rank said.
Subject: re: show 46 (from cork pop to coda - A1 stuff)
Enjoyed the hell outta Show 46 - it ripped
shit, blew chunks, bubbled snot and set grasslands afire.
The scattershot journalism you begged pardon for more than applies in these scattershot times!
Guardsmen: Screw Bush's bloody war
Almost two-thirds of Indiana National Guardsmen in a battalion that spent a year in Iraq
chose not to re-enlist when their service time expired. Over the past 21 months, the service
contracts of 102 soldiers in the 1st Battalion of the 152nd Regiment expired. Of those, 32,
or less than one-third, chose to re-enlist. The unit typically keeps 85 percent of its members,
a sergeant in charge of retaining members said.
"Fuck that illegal, AWOL monkey and his phony
war," is what one of them could've said.
"Mocking our saintly president, are you?
Your time is coming, Tequilaboy."
"Activist judges and local officials in some
parts of the country are not letting up
in their efforts to redefine marriage for the rest of America - and neither should
defenders of traditional marriage flag in their efforts."
--Dubya, ignoring his record to fan the gay hating flames in his Party of Fascists Attribution
stampeded nation into war
by Gene Lyons
Everybody who's ever worked in a large organization knows the difficulty of moving
unwelcome information up the chain of command inside hierarchical bureaucracies.
Nobody's eager to tell his boss' boss something that person doesn't want to hear.
The stronger the command structure, i. e. military and quasi-military bureaucracies,
the harder it gets to push bad news to the top. It's one big reason communism never
The only known antidote for such organized
folly is democracy. And the question
is whether voters will punish our callow, cocksure president for the terrible strategic
debacle into which he has led the country.
Marty's Entertainment Page
Greg Palast to Testify at Civil Rights Commission
The US Civil Rights Commission has asked Greg Palast to testify before a special commission hearing
Thursday, July 15th at 11am, to discuss his continuing investigative reports for BBC Television on Florida
and other states' cleansing of Black voters from voter rolls. Palast's reports provide the basis for the story
on the vote fix in Florida featured in Michael Moore's "Fahrenheit 9/11."
Subject: Just wanted to say hello
Hi - I have stumbled upon your excellent
website and I just wanted to know more about it.
For some reason I was presuming you to be 20-something, and yet today you wrote,
"I'm so old I remember when republicans respected the constitution..."
As do I!
And yet I'm only 48 - or is that old in the world of the internet?
I'm trying to convince my wife we can afford
to subscribe - maybe not, since we have a newborn.
But we'll see!
Thanks for the good work
Kirk, who has driven all the way across
Oklahoma - twice.
Kirk, most people think of me as this really cool, young/hip Dude.
I talked to an advertiser lately, she asked how old I was - I told her I was 50.
She said, "Oh, I figured you for much younger," and I was thinking,"...like, ...twelve?"
Since Mrs Bart and I opted out of parenthood, we don't have life's markers such as,
Billy's first birthday,
Billy's first day at school,
Billy's first sex education talk,
Billy's first pregnancy,
Billy's first time out with the car,
Billy's first prom,
Billy's first wedding,
Billy's first trial,
Billy's first day back from prison...
Mentally, we're still 25 or so.
We have a good time every day.
"Unka Dick - are we going to prison?"
Now that Bush is squeeling about getting "bad intelligence" from
remember all of his talk about "I don't read much, I'm more of a gut instinct guy?"
That's what a moron says to cover himself when he doesn't want
Bush's laziness (at best) will kill 1,000 soldiers before this quagmire is over.
How could America consider electing this giggling murderer to high office?
"In stark contrast to this administration,
today we saw Tony Blair take responsibility...
We know where the buck stops in London. We don't know where the buck stops in Washington."
-- Richard Durbin, D-Ill., Attribution
by Michael Barone - loser and whore
"There are two approaches to terrorists. One is to fight them with every weapon you can -- the military,
intelligence services, interdiction of money flows, diplomacy. That is what George W. Bush is doing against
the Islamist terrorists who struck Sept. 11. The other way is appeasement. Give the terrorists some of what
they want, and hope that they will stop being terrorists any more. That was the approach Bill Clinton took in
the 1990s to terrorists in Colombia, Israel and Northern Ireland."
Barone wants us to argue with success. Under Clinton, we
had peace and prosperity.
Our biggest problem when Clinton was president was the surplus and the sex-obsessed GOP.
Under stupid-and-crooked Bush, we have 3,000 dead, several beheadings and never-ending war.
The military is stretched to the breaking point, the world hates us and Osama is still at large.
Oh, and the economy went to hell, too, but who counts the little things?
As explained in BCR Show 47, Michael Barone is the Nazi handjob who "ranked" Kerry
the Number One liberal in the Senate - even more liberal than Ted Kennedy.
The entire media picked up Barone's horseshit
assertion about Kerry and the GOP echo chamber
sent that lie around the world and it was all based on a lying ditto-monkey's fane and phoney ranking
Instead of doing their homework, (Or simply asking where that lie originated) the networks, talk radio,
the cable whores and the print papers alllllllll repeated that like - that Kerry was the lefty of the left.
Everyone knows lefties make better lovers
I just heard the never-elected monkey repeat the lie that Kerry
was the "most liberal"
man in the senate and that Edwards was the "4th most liberal" senator.
The monkey-hear, monkey-repeat president is stuck in the GOP echo-chamber.
He's repeating the Michael Barone lie because the Democrats (and John Kerry)
have failed to call them on this.
John, Mary Beth,
how many weeks will you allow this lie to fester and build steam?
Are you going to wait until EVERY voter has heard it?
Like cement, it will only get harder as time goes by.
Why are you failing to correct this lie?
I don't mind helping you out (I'm a busy man) but you're going to have to do some of this yourself.
Not all gay marriages work
Saw it on makesmeralph.typepad.com
Plans for Arafat's Death
Does Sharon have a birthday coming up?
Cheney's Doc change an excuse to step down
Matt Drudge - he's always right about everything he publishes...
Here ...but he'll change the link before you can get to it.
finally allowed to speak at Demo Convention
If they didn't screw that up to start with, they wouldn't need to correct it
"Tom DeLay is doing everything moral, legal
and ethical to increase the
Republican majority and advance conservative ideas. Unfortunately, some
Democrats are making an attempt to criminalize politics."
-- Delay spokesman Stuart Roy Attribution
Wait, you mean after a twelve year cock hunt, and a thousand investigations
costing a hundred million dollars into everything from who cut Gov Clinton's lawn
to who killed Ron Brown, they are accusing us of criminalizing politics?
Bush's plan for 'victory' in November
If the pre-election internal tracking polls and public opinion polls show the Kerry-Edwards ticket
leading in key battleground states, the Bush team will begin to implement their plan to announce an
imminent terrorist alert for the West Coast for November 2 sometime during the mid afternoon PST.
At 2:00 PST, the polls in Kentucky and Indiana will be one hour from closing (5:00 PM EST - the polls
close in Indiana and Kentucky at 6:00 PM EST). Exit polls in both states will be known to the Bush
people by that time and if Kentucky (not likely Indiana) looks too close to call or leaning to Kerry-Edwards,
the California plan will be implemented. A Bush problem in Kentucky at 6:00 PM EST would mean that
problems could be expected in neighboring states and that plans to declare a state of emergency in
California would begin in earnest at 3:00 PM PST.
We know they'll pull something.
I don't know if this is it, or another trick, but being forwarned will help.
Smirk and the NAACP
OK, so Bush refuses to speak to Black Americans.
No surprise there - we know how he feels about "those people..."
But where the hell is John Kerry?
The clips that should be on every newscast is,
"Mr President, why are you afraid of African Americans?"
But no, instead of punching Bush hard, and then punching him again,
Kerry merely said, "Maybe The president is too busy, but there's nowhere I'd
rather be than in Philadephia right now with the NAACP," ...which even *I* don't believe.
Mary Beth - call me so I can give you my cell phone number.
I don't think you can win this without help.
I can see it now - any day now we're going to see reports on FOX
News that Kerry
is paying someone $10,000 to dress him every day - we don't need that.
Kerry needs to get into some plain talk so the stupid people can
Stupid people must be 80 percent of this country.
That's 80 million voters, John.
Go for the gold!
That street language the stupid people understand?
I speak that.
After years of Nazi nonsense books,
we finally have some balance at the bookstores
Subscribe between now and the end of July and get 2-for-1.
What do you get when you subscribe?
First, you get
- which is completely uncensored invective
aimed at the fascist goons who took away our right to have our votes counted.
You've never heard radio like this before.
We can say any fucking thing we want - and NOBODY can censor us or stop us.
Click Here for a instant-load sample of
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Tulsa, OK 74155
Subject: Question for repubs
I got a question for you right wingers:
If Bush has made us safer.....why are they
talking about a terrorist attack
that's catastrophic enough to postpone a national election!!!
How am I safer??!!
Play Poker online with Bart
Marriage Between Gays Was a Rite
Sounds like a job for Betty Bowers
A Kiev art museum contains a curious icon from St. Catherine's monastery on Mt. Sinai.
It shows two robed Christian saints. Between them is a traditional Roman pronubus (best man)
overseeing what in a standard Roman icon would be the wedding of a husband and wife.
In the icon, Christ is the pronubus. Only one thing is unusual. The "husband and wife" are in fact two men.
Subject: Those radio ads
AAR ads were great to hear today!
You've got balls like Georgia watermelons.
Sir, I assure you,
...the reports you've heard are in error.
You really brought your "A" game for Wednesday's
page and the ad blitz.
I think you may even have used the most gorgeous picture I've yet seen of Shirley.
Why should I be surprised that she can pull off the Audrey Hepburn look?
You put the ball over the fence and out of the park today!
I heard your ad on AAR today and I loved the website!
I'm gonna have to spend a few days reading more of the back issues!
I like what you have to say, Mr. Bartcop, and I think I'll try out a subscription to the radio in a few days!
Hey Bart, just a note to let you know.
I heard your commercials twice on Al Franken and four times on Randi Rhodes.
I drive a truck so I hear alot of radio.
Kevin in Portland
Caught your ad on AAR at 12:20 PM.
Sally P :)
Sally, Tally and Tommy did great, but AAR also threw us a nice
I heard 8-9 commercials, and each one was right after some serious content.
Each commercial came right after, "This is Al Franken" or Randi's "Twenty eight after..."
Not once did they sandwich us between Oreck Vacuum
Cleaners and Florase Nasal Drip.
I consider that a compliment, and it was good business on their part to be nice to web sites that
are fighting the illegal Bunnypants-giggling murderer, thieving-monkey bastard son of a bitch.
is very different from anything you've ever heard before.
Click Here to get 3 BartCop Radio Shows on CD delivered for just $24
Currently shipping shows
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Camp Could Gain From A Postponement
by Joe Conason
Ever since the conservatives in Spain were ousted in the wake of last spring's bombings,
the President's supporters here have suggested that the Spanish election results represented
a "victory" for our terrorist enemies - who might, they warn, attempt a similar coup here.
More bluntly put, a vote against President Bush would be in essence a vote for bin Laden.
Up to twenty views per penny.
Nobody gives you a better deal that that.
Bush to Teach Fourth Grade in Fall
'Hot for Teacher' rises to a new level
Seated beside Pickles Bush in a classroom Wednesday, Jenna the Tequila Queen
laughed when it was their turn to read aloud with students at Hueytown Elementary School.
She got through the exercise and asked a question relevant for the moment.
"What grade is this?" said Jenna, who plans to teach this fall.
"Second grade," eight 7-year-olds said in unison.
"I'm going to teach fourth grade," Jenna said
Odds are Jenna is fifty times
smarter than her dad.
I'll bet she'd get bored reading "My Pet Goat" again and again, day after day.
Click to Enter
Chicago Pokerfest - July 17 - Saturday
If your name's not on the list, you're not in yet.
Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
887, 892 dead American soldiers.
Drip, drip, drip - young lives go down the drain
Do you have an opinion?
Then listen for your call on...
You have two minutes to record your message.
Mr. Rove was not pleased with her remarks
Whoopi Goldberg will no longer appear in ads for Slim-Fast following her lewd
riff on The Monkey's name at a fund-raiser last week, the company said on Wednesday.
Slim-Fast said it was "disappointed" in
Goldberg's remarks at last Thursday's $7.5 million
star-studded fund-raiser at Radio City Music Hall in New York.
"Ads featuring Ms. Goldberg will no longer be
on the air," Slim-Fast tight-assr Terry Olson said
in a statement, adding that the company regrets that Goldberg's remarks offended some customers.
Who did they think they were hiring? Pat Boone?
This is The Freepers at work.
They are organized - they know teamwork and tactics.
They want it more than our side does.
Our side would never gang up on Dennis Miller or David Duke.
Our side think fighting back is wrong on all levels.
I need a drink...
Subject: The July 14 ad spectacular
I visited everyone of the co-sponsors of
the ad blitz and have added new bookmarks to my browser.
Bush may have six hundred multi-gazillionaires trying to buy him another term as Whitehouse keeper
but he has never seen someone pecked to death by a herd of ducks before.
Faun, great e-mail, alwats great to hear from you!
Thanks for visiting the co-sponsors.
It takes courage to bet on Democrats in the year 2004.
Also, there's a story...
Now it can be told:
I had two panics Monday night, one venial,
The AAR contract showed up Monday
night saying the Tuesday ad blast was on.
We agreed on Wed, but the contract said Tues, ...and in my book ...that good reason to panic.
I enjoy gambling, more than most people, but not with thousands of dollars.
I enjoy gambling with $20 or $50, these multi-thousand gambles are creepy.
A fast e-mail exchange made everything good
- that helped.
All praise to Leon, The Lord of Commercials.
Leon had to deal closely with me, and that's not always a walk in the park.
Leon, I owe you a hooker!
I had two panics Monday night, one mortal,
Then I had another dizzy attack.
Third one this year, ...second in what, thirty days?
I was at my computer again, but, ..I'm always at the computer.
Even in dark moments, I tend to laugh myself silly.
Here I done spent four figures on a "check my page" advertising buy and the page
they'd see would read, "Check my page tomorrow cause it'll be funny and great."
Thirty hours later, I'm OK to drive and fly, (I'm a gambler)
but I still have that residual roller-coaster still running in my head.
On the plane, I';m gonna carry a 3x5 card in my shirt pocket that
"Don't worry, I'm OK, but I sometimes get dizzier than Britney."
Tulsa's finest doctors?
They don't have a clue.
They're like me trying to fly some damn 747.
For years I've known I was smarter than the president of
the United F-ing States,
but I've never, ever wanted to be smarter than my doctors.
My best guess?
I think 12 hours a day spent staring at a computer monitor sets
off something in my small brain.
I heard a rumor that flashing lights can set off a epileptic sufferer - but that's just a rumor I heard.
But if the rumor's true, ...could twelve hours of lightning-fast, multi-tasking, monitor-switching,
screen-hopping, mailbox-shifting, browser-riding cause some inner ear backdraft and take me down?
Funny, all the decades I spent trying to get a buzz, and now I have one more than I need.
Use this portal
and they'll send bartcop.com
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2004, bartcop.com
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Shirley Manson of the rock group "Garbage."
Shrl, call The BartPhone,
just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-748-1714
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you in Vegas at The Joint on your next American tour.
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