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Show 49 - Convention Special
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Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Quote of the Day
"When the chips were down,
Let's see - one man was in Vietnam earning medals
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful,
and so are we.
They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."
-- the Monkey who cannot think and cannot speak Attribution
Why can't Kinda Sleazy spend more time with George, and teach him the meaning of words?.
KERRY KILLED TEEN
Slaughtered Animals, Burned Down Tiny Village
Women stampeded, cattle raped - "I'm George Bush and I approved this message."
Kerry earned his Silver Star by killing a lone, fleeing, teenage Viet Cong in a loincloth.
And if Kerry's superiors had known the truth at the time, they would never have recommended him for the medal.
The book also claims to detail how Kerry personally ordered the slaughter of small animals.
This is about the stupidest, clumsiest political attack I've ever
seen, and I've seen them all.
If Kerry replies with humor, he could get a big bounce out of this.
McCain said this was horseshit, and called on Bush to knock it off.
"They did the same thing to me in South
Carolina, remember?" McCain told the AP
Think how scared they must be...
John, I have the perfect reply for you (This is why you need me on your team)
"I'd rather look into the future and solve
America's problems, but if George Bush wants
to relive the Vietnam war, I suggest he and I compare our war experience on live TV,
with three cameras, two microphones, no advisors and no studio audience."
John, you just won the election, because that's a bet he can't afford to call.
John, beef up your Secret Service detail.
Trust me, they will NOT hand power to you after you when you win in November.
"It turns out that the latest terror alert
from Bush was based on information that is
more than three years old. "There is nothing right now that we are hearing that is new,"
a senior law enforcement official who had been briefed on the alert told the Wash Post.
"Why did we go to this alert level?" the official asked. Here's a possibility: DemoCon2004
got Americans looking seriously at John Kerry. It is appropriate to ask whether Bush,
who has an ugly track record of politicizing the war on terror, is not so much frightened
by an external threat as it is by an internal political threat."
--Editorial, The Capital Times, Attribution
Condemns Anti-Kerry Ad
"It was the same kind of deal that was pulled on me..."
John McCain called an ad criticizing John Kerry's military service "dishonest and dishonorable"
and urged the White House on Thursday to condemn it as well.
The White House declined.
"It was the same kind of deal that was pulled
on me," McCain told the AP, comparing the ad
to the viscious back-stabbing the BFEE put on him in South Carolina four years ago.
"I can't believe the president would pull such a cheap stunt."
Wow, this looks like a BIG-time screw up,
unless the Dems and the press let them off the hook again.
McCain's a pretty popular guy, and calling this "a cheap stunt" might make the news.
"The anti-Kerry ad reopens all the old wounds
of the Vietnam War, which I spent the last
35 years trying to heal. I deplore this kind of politics. I think the ad is dishonest and dishonorable.
As it is, none of these individuals served on the boat (Kerry) commanded. Many of his crew have
testified to his courage under fire. I think John Kerry served honorably in Vietnam. I think Bush
served honorably in the Texas Air National Guard during the Vietnam War."
--John McCain, campaigning with the dishonest and dishonorable George Cocaine Bush Attribution
Trial Delayed Over New Evidence
Does Geragos have a rabbit in that hat?
Scott Peterson's murder trial will be delayed until early next week so the defense
can investigate recently discovered evidence, the judge announced Thursday after
a closed-door session with the lawyers.
Mark Geragos said outside court that the
evidence is "potentially exculpatory" and
was "reluctantly" turned over by the prosecution. No details about the evidence were announced.
The announcement about the trial delay came after the judge consulted with both sides in chambers.
"How many times am I going to have to get discovery
by cross-examination?" Geragos shouted. .
Rumor has it the evidence is physical, not some new eyewitness to a possible sighting of Laci.
Also, why does it seem that the prosecution in this case and Kobe's
is so incredibly inept?
In both cases, the judge has had to scold the state several times (and severely) for cheating.
Vets a FReeper Scheme
Hot News from the BartCop forum
From the www.bartcop.com forum comes more information on the webmaster for "SVAK"-- Mr. Scott Swett,
aka "Independent Times" at Free Republic dot com; and also a director (on the board) of Free Republic Network
-- the Parent Org. of Free Republic. In fact, some of the info from SVAK is on the FRN server...
The poster, "Backlash2" has posted the most
recent IRS 990-ez tax statement from FRN listing Scott Swett
as a director, and multiple cross-references I.D.-ing him with both orgs.
So this whole thing is just another FREEPER
Worth looking at, there's been some hot discussion, and lots of scrutiny...
Subject: Another side of the News
US Senator Mark Dayton (D-MN) charges that
if the timeline of air defense response
as promoted in the Kean Commission's best-selling book is correct, then the timeline
presented repeatedly by NORAD during the last two years was completely wrong.
Yet now no one at NORAD is willing to comment on their own timeline!
We have localized heightened terror alerts
based on information a couple years old.
The UN criticizes the US and Britain for using the threat of terrorism to sow fear.
Bush defends the Iraq War...again, and Kerry has an exit plan.
Many thanks to BartCop.com for publishing this email with the link from Entertainment!
Tune in to "Another Side of the News" with Paul Berenson, Saturdays 9am-10am PST
on KCSB-FM 91.9 or listen on our webcast http://www.kcsb.org.
Marty's Entertainment Page
"Had I been reading to children and had my
top aide whispered in my ear that
America is under attack, I would have told those kids very nicely and politely that
the president has something that he needs to attend to...and I would have attended to it."
--John Kerry, nobody's pet goat, Attribution
Subject: Uh... was publishing the medical pot guy's name a good idea?
Did you have to publish the name & hometown
of the guy who said he was
maybe gonna keep smoking medical marywanna since it worked for him?
I mean, I'm pretty sure the Bush empire
is gonna collapse (ok, I'm an optimist,
but a working-hard-to-achive-results kinda optimist), but it hasn't happened yet
and Ashcroft still has a hard-on for prosecuting the living shit out of guys like this.
I sell pot for a living, and I'd hate to see a fellow doper get burned.
Gabby, the letter was real, but I made up the name.
Not sure why, but bartcop.com does well with librarians.
If you're a librarian, you should join.
"I am happy to be on the side of truth."
--Rush Limbaugh, "truth teller" who won't let an unscripted caller on his show Attribution
Albany, N.Y., Mosque Leaders Arrested
Is this any more real than New York's terror alert last weekend?
Two leaders of a mosque in Albany, N.Y., were arrested on charges stemming from
an alleged plot to purchase a shoulder-fired missile that would be used to assassinate the
Pakistani ambassador in New York, according to court papers filed Thursday.
So, the government offered these two guys missles? And then
The Bush administration has gotten very effective in the last ten days.
This missle sting could be from yesterday or 2001, and they're just releasing it now.
"I am a
Subject: Why are veterans sacrificing their lives?
I'm an active Army Reservist.
I've become a loyal reader and admirer of
bartcop, and I appreciate your
kick-ass-take-no-prisoners approach with the radical right repukes.
I have no desire to be called up to participate
in shrub's oil war of convenience,
however I extended my enlistment last month for two more years.
This time last year Rumsfeld's Department
of Defense was facing huge losses this year with
soldiers exhausting their enlistments and getting the hell out and away from their madness in Iraq.
It was very real that they were not going to come up with enough soldiers to fight their war, without a draft.
Then someone up there got really creative
and figured out that all they needed was a strong incentive for reenlistment.
When they found out that large money bonuses were not going to get the job done they suddenly realized they had an
even stronger incentive. A negative one.
Every soldier who gets out, by law, is obligated
to three years of "inactive reserve" status during which time can be
recalled to active duty if it is determined to be necessary for the national defense of this country. Word was sent
down through the chain and through the recruiters to spread the threat of not only immediate recall, but automatic
deployment to the gulf if you tried to get out. The threat worked for some but not enough.
Then they strengthened the threat with action
and we have seen over 7,000 reactivated.
That was all it took.
A shudder has gone through the whole reserve and active forces.
Suddenly enlistment extensions and re-ups are climbing fast.
Last month I was slated to get out at the
end of the month. I have qualification in five different military
two of which are in critical demand in the gulf. My present "job" is not in demand. I reenlisted not to support shrub's
oil crusade, but with the hope that I can stay below their radar and ride this thing out.
I have no doubts what so ever that many,
many other soldiers reenlisting are doing the same thing.
If you don't mind I will not give my name.
Just call me Staff-Sgt-not-all-that-dumb.
They say in Saddam's Iraq, a jeep full of soldiers would pull
up to a house and "draft" the men inside.
And if they resisted, they shot them and their family, so I guess Bush's approach is somewhat better than that.
But threatening those who want out with certain Gulf duty is a low blow from a bloody-hands deserter.
Shot of Chinaco - for your service.
Arrest Man in 2001 Anthrax Probe
Damn, the BFEE must be worried about DemoCon2004
Federal agents investigating the deadly 2001 anthrax attacks searched homes Thursday belonging
to the founder of an organization that trains medical professionals to respond to chemical and
biological attacks. He was later arrested in an altercation with family members at a motel, police said.
So this guy was what - a "person of interest?"
And you arrested him in a "domestic dispute?"
Gee, that's almost as good as catching bin Laden,
but I'll be damned if the press isn't treating this like they discovered a cure for polio.
(Shout out to my man JSY in PittsburgH!)
"Conservatives are proud to say they're
but liberals are ashamed to admit they're liberals."
So, ...you bait the trap. You ask in return,
"Are you saying the 'liberal'" label is a bad thing, ...a perjorative, ...a negative?"
They'll chortle and respond, "Why of
course it is, nobody wants to be a liberal these days,"
then ask them to explain how the liberals dominate the media.
If "nobody wants to be liberal,"
why are billion dollar news conglomerates like
CNN and NBC so "liberally slanted?"
They want you to think the billion dollar corporations want to help liberals more than make money.
You can't believe that.
You just can't.
Get Your War On, (c) 2004 by David Rees. Used with permission
TV host shot on visit to wife's grave
"Journey to Adventure," in intensive care in Florida
militiamen wage fierce battle in Najaf
US chopper shot down, one soldier dead, many wounded
Job Growth Meager, Markets Stunned
With a Republican in charge, why be stunned?
May Raise Cancer Risk
Everything causes cancer - even bottled water
Forced to Defend Terror-Threat Alert
Why issue alert DemoCon week if it was 3 years old?
Bush today defended the decision to issue terrorism warnings and tighten security
in New York and Washington, saying "the threats we're dealing with are real" even though
some of the intelligence on which the government acted was as much as four years old.
Bush said the government had an obligation
to tell Americans about the threats, even though
some have questioned whether the warnings were politically motivated to strengthen the
president's image as commander in chief in an election year.
"When we find out intelligence that is real, that
threatens people, I believe we have an
obligation as government to share that with people," said the man who took America
to war on faulty intelligence that made his friends and contributors wildly rich.
America still trusts this madman, no matter how many people he
"I love the way he's fighting terror," they swoon, even tho he's done nothing.
"I love the way he's handled the economy," even tho it's sicker than it's ever been.
"I'm a likeable guy..."
Subject: Bryant accuser next step
the next step for the accuser of Kobe Bryant-
after the civil case, she will then pose
nude for Playboy
for an undisclosed amount, about 6 figures....for her figure.
Don in Stockholm
"I want to see that!!"
Up to twenty views per penny.
Nobody gives you a better deal that that.
Subject: Mike Malloy
im a faithful reader who recently began
listening to air america radio,
and tonight i had the pleasure of an introduction to mike malloy.
Malloy attacks the Flying Monkey right weeknights on Air America radio
can i crawl through my radio and kiss him
full on the lips?
anyone who has the balls to actually speak the truth
(bible beaters in the south are voting against their own interests
because they think g-dub is a religious guy like them) and that
these people are idiots...sigh.
im in love.
"I think there are a lot of reasons to be critical
of the media in America. The media sensationalize
or magnify things that aren't - that really shouldn't be. There's a big move away from actual reporting,
trying to report facts. It's in newspapers and everything you read - that a lot more is opinion."
--Laura Bush, explaining news distorion to Bill O'Reilly, master spinner, Attribution
What's next, Pickles?
You going to explain, "murder is bad," to Charlie Manson?
Subject: Poor Mrs Bart
Bart, you wrote:
> "I can't wait to be rich, famous, and lusted
> First thing:
> I'll dump Mrs. Bart to marry Courtney Love,
> ...or, if she's still in rehab - get me Nancy Grace.
> ...or, if she's making more money hanging Scott Peterson,
> ...get me Laura the Unloved.
> I need a woman who can make a minute seem like an hour. "
"Courtney Love" Jeeze!
You would be nothing more than "Mr Courtney Love!" full time!
I don't know who these other women are, but I bet they are cut from the same cloth!
> "I need a woman who can make a minute seem like an hour. "
Keep it up and Mrs Bart will make your minutes
seem like an hour in Hell!!
Bart, I expect more from you than this! Shame on you!
But I still love you kiddo!
S, that's a joke.
I need for time to slow down.
Courtney Love is a crazy heroin addict.
Nancy Grace is that screeching harpy on Larry King
and Laura is Dr Laura, the Queen bitch of all time.
Being with them would be like being in prison,
where time moves reeeeeal slow :)
Remember, it's a humor page.
Hunting of the President
Order your copies from the BartCop Bookstone
Subject: LMAO, the funniest segment...
yo bart... the teacher and pupil bit (from
yesterday) had me LMFAO.
too damn funny. i thought the same thing...
i WISH a couple of my teachers had taken
me back to the ball closet (heh heh...)
and taught me some extra curricular lessons. i realize we can't have this happening on
a widespread basis but for a select few (you and me, of course) it would've worked wonders!
i also say that it is impossible to sexually harrass a male.
thanks for the laugh!
sugarmoes in maryland/washington d.c.
Sugarmoes, besides that, Catholics have it worse.
We had girls in class from grades 1-8 (wearing those mandatory
see-thru cotton tops).
Then in High School, (wearing ties every day to class) we had four years of men only.
When I got to my first class in college, there were cute girls
wearing lil' frilly halter tops and snug-fitting hot pants.
How the hell is a Catholic boy supposed to learn in that kind
Subject: LeTourneau case
Actually, forbidding the perp to contact
the victim is a pretty standard parole condition,
especially in sex crime cases. This isn't a case of too much government; it's designed to keep everyone safe.
A set-aside will be easy to obtain, as he's 21 now, and presumably able to make up his own mind.
Koresh, if you can decide to die for Halliburton when you're
you ough to be able to decide who your sex partners will be before your turn 21.
Like Sugarmoes said, teenage boys don't need protection from horny, older women.
A single act of bravery
"The Constitution -- the very foundation of this great country is under attack. It is under attack by a presidency
that is bent upon secrecy, that has to be dragged kicking and screaming to answer questions, and that follows a
path of utter recklessness. Its policies have changed the face of America around the globe from that of a giant
peacemaker to that of a schoolyard bully. People who once declared a strong allegiance with America now
question our purpose. That is not America. I have seen our government at its best, but today I fear that we
see our government at its worst."
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"There must be a compelling national need to
put our troops into harm's way.
I felt that. I felt we had a compelling national need."
--Dubya, at a rally in Michigan, Attribution
...but the facts prove you were wrong, wrongwrong!
You remind me of Reagan after Iran-Contra.
"In my heart, I didn't commit any crimes, but the facts and the evidence say otherwise."
Remember all that bragging you used to do about,
"I don't study, I don't read books or newspapers.
I fly by the seat of my pants. I decide the important issues based on gut instinct."
Hey asshole, your gut instincts have killed almost 1,000 men.
Next time, read the fucking books and newspapers and study a little.
Thursday at the doctor's office
So I'm sitting in the very crowded doctor's office, waiting over
an hout for him to run a
metal spike thru my knee to fill it up with "turkey wattle." Can't have more fun than that
Well, they have a fancy name for it. It's called "Supartz."
So I looked up "supartz" with Google, and it said, see "Hyaluronan."
OK, so I looked up Hyaluronan and they still refuse to say what it is.
The closest I got was, "Hyaluronan is
a substance that is injected directly into
the knee joint, where it may help supplement the knee joint's natural synovial fluid,
relieving pain and improving your ability to use the knee. This treatment is also
"Hyaluronan" is a substance, eh? It makes you woner what they're trying to hide.
So anyway, we're all jammed in this crowded waiting room, watching
They're discussing Kerry's murderous rampage in Vietnam (He shot children for sport)
when this lady next to me turns and says, "I've made up my mind who I'm going to vote for."
And I'm thinking - "Oh
no, now I gotta put up with this nutty Okie woman's Bush worship.
Please Doc, hurry with those flesh-tearing spikes - I'm ready now..."
She says, "I'm a registered Republican,
but I can't stand George W Bush. I'm voting for
the war hero - Kerry. He's a real hero, Bush had everything handed to him all his life."
Without thinking, I whipped out a bartcop.com
business card and gave it to her.
(Hello nice lady from Kansas! I hope your grandson's bones are OK!)
We had a nice little chat about the Illegal Monkey who stole his way into the White House.
So what's the moral of the story?
It's remarkable that so many people can't stand the Giggling Murderer, even the Republican
women will volunteer to any stranger who'll listen that they can't stand George W. Bush.
BTW, those shots hurt like hell, but my knee does feel better.
Two more flesh-tearing spike appointments and I can go back to running marathons.
Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
925 dead American soldiers.
Drip, drip, drip - young lives go down the drain
Bart, I am impressed by your standing invitation to debate the neo-nazis.
I was wondering if your invitation was also open to opinions from further left than yourself.
I hope you can put the bag on me.
Subject: Keyes vs Obama
So the Illinois Nazi Party has selected
right-wing nutjob Alan Keyes to run for
the Senate against rising Democrat star Barack Obama. Yet the RNC and leading
repubs always trash Keyes when they talk to him or about him.
It couldn't have anything to do with the
fact that Keyes--like Obama--is black, could it?
The GOP are such cynical bastards - here's what's up.
They know Keyes will lose to Obama, so they kill 4 birds with one stone.
They tell Keyes,
"If you're any good, you'll win or it's goodbye forever."
Keyes will lose, and when he loses, they can say, "At least we ran a negro!"
Which allows Rush to say, "states aren't ready for negroes yet."
...and there's always that 1 percent chance he could actually win
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It's more of an "Oh my God!" than a "That's funny..."
you registered to vote?
Are you sure you're registered?
Apparently there are groups out there who buy copies of the voter registration rolls, then send in new
registrations for registered voters giving them a new address. It's really a more sophisticated version of
the whole thing with the felony lists in Florida in the last election - however, people aren't being REMOVED
from the voting rolls, and hence there's no red flag being raised. After all, people DO move and send in
change of address, so there's no reason for them to suspect voter fraud.
Do you have an opinion?
Then listen for your call on...
You have two minutes to record your message.
Tonight, Tmmy Franks tells Dave
he was hurt the Democrats
didn't invite him to speak at DemoCon2004
Leno has Culli-fornia's walking gorilla on tonight.
Bill Maher's HBO show has somebody good each week.
Celebrity Poker (late Friday
night) has Hank Azaria, Seth Meyers,
Gail O'Grady, Amy Poehler and Jeffrey Ross
Sunday has the finale of USA's 4400
BIG DOG on Jon Stewart Monday
If that "new evidence" clears Scott Peterson,
will Nancy Grace be able to work in television again?
When will the rapes stop?
When will the tortures stop?
When will the looting stop?
When will the murders stop?
When will the invasions stop?
Use this portal
and they'll send bartcop.com
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2004, bartcop.com
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28 minutes of slapdown, Capital Gang, DemoCon speeches
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25 minutes of mostly the Big Dog's speech
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If your GOP workplace doesn't want you to
see the truth, use these mirrors.
Shirley Manson of the rock group "Garbage."
Shrl, call The BartPhone,
just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-748-1714
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you in Vegas at The Joint on your next American tour.
Title: Avoid dogma, like it was the plague
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