Subscribe to Bartcop
Show 50 is here Links below
Your Ad Here
Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Quote of the Day
"I don't think the Swift Boat Veterans
"The President is there in the White House
for you, it is not you who are here for him."
--Walt Whitman, who never met the Unelected Boy King, Attribution
Price Races to a New High, Over $49
What did you expect with two oilmen in the White House?
Oil prices raced to fresh highs on Friday, carrying U.S. crude over $49 a barrel,
driven by escalating violence in Iraq and unabated fuel demand growth from China and India.
Unka Bandar said this week he had raised
July output to help his frind Dubya get elected,
but the increase had no effect as other nation's economies are surging past America.
Talk about insult to injury!
Gas prices are going thru the roof, partly due to Bush's failed and bloody war, and the
second reason is the economies of China and India are surging while America's economy
suck because Bush continues to reward the super-rich while the majority suffers.
Can America afford four more years of oil greed in the White House?
Vote your pockerbook - vote Kerry!
"We're going to win for the simple fact that
the country is not better off and he has
no plan for making it better. I like Kerry's chances better than I liked Gore's chances.
We'll get every Gore vote, plus more. The Democratic turnout is definitely going to be
bigger and stronger and more enthusiastic than it was in 2000."
-- Mario Cuomo, predicting victory for democracy this year, Attribution
NY Cops can burst eardrums of protesters
It's called the Long Range Acoustic Device, developed for the military and capable
of blasting warnings, orders or anything else at an ear-splitting 150 decibels.
When I read they had a "long range accoustic device," I thought
it was a sensitive
microphone that could hear conversations from far away - but noooooo.
Manowar, the world's loudest band is only 129 decibles.
150 decibels will burst your eardrums and make you deaf - thanks RNC!.
"Everyone in Fallujah has been labeled a terrorist.
These are all lies.
If a stranger invades America and the people resist, does that mean they are terrorists?"
-- Ahmed Manajid, who says if he were not playing soccer he would fight the invaders, Attribution
Subject: bartcop the racist
You just can't help sticking your whole
foot in your mouth.
So you hate Alan Keyes, another Black man.
You even called him a "carpetbagger" today and insulted his decency and intelligence.
You are one disgusting racist, Bartcop.
You are disgusting.
And you call yourself a Democrat.
KKK boss you mean!
Take a Midol, bitch
rise between Nader, anti-Bush forces
Can fraud and forgery get Nader's name on the Oregon ballot?
Anti-Bush forces acccused Nader backers of engaging in widespread fraud and forgery
in gathering signatures to put the pro-Bush Nader on the Nov. 2 ballot in this battleground state.
Nader's supporters countered that Democrats
and their union allies are resorting to "gangster" tactics
by bullying and intimidating signature-gatherers in hopes of thwarting Nader's petition drive.
Democrats? Using gangster tactics?
Nader's accusing Democrats of fighting back?
"I like Unka Ralf - he has a good heart..."
Don't Bring Your Hate To NY and Expect a Welcome Mat
Subject: Mary Beth Cahill, Kerry Campaign Mgr
The group behind this smear campaign calls
itself "Swift Boat Veterans for Truth."
But the truth is the last thing they are interested in.
President Bush refuses to condemn this group.
He wants them to do his dirty work.
But this effort to distract attention from the issues that matter most has failed.
Mary Beth Cahill.
Mary Beth - I have a great idea.
Let's stop complaining about that and make them eat it.
Have Kerry say,
president wants to focus on the Vietnam War,
we should add another debate to discuss our military service."
Then they will shut up about Vietnam!
That will take the war and the economy back to the forefront of
You can't let Bush steal the "war hero" issue.
If Senator Kerry says those words in the next 7 days, I
will guarantee a $1000 donation.
Please say yes.
Bush signs a Bible for a supporter in Hedgesville, W. Va.
(AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)
"Kerry volunteered to go to Vietnam and, once
there, volunteered for dangerous duty.
He killed enemy fighters, was injured and decorated. Then he came home and
distinguished himself in opposition to the war. That a president who shirked similar
duty would try to make an issue out of Kerry's war record is simply amazing.
Bush won't get away with it - unless Kerry lets him."
--Jacob Weisberg, speaking the truth in Slate Attribution
invalidates girl's Communion
No wheat in the wafer means "No Jesus for You!!
The First Holy Communion made by 8-year-old Haley Waldman in April
is considered invalid in the eyes of the Roman Catholic Church since the
Holy Eucharist she received did not contain any wheat.
Catholics says the hosts must contain
some wheat, which contains gluten..
Haley is allergic to wheat - so no Jesus for her?
Guess who made her allergic to wheat? God did that.
And since He made her allergic to your communion
wafer - no Jesus for her?
What's wrong with you that you can't see that?
Question: Is her family's money still welcome in your collection basket?
If you were haunted by "Fahrenheit 9/11",
will give you nightmares.
Meet Karl Rove,
the most powerful political figure America has never heard of.
Church invalidates girl's Communion
No wheat in the wafer means "No Jesus for You!!
Haley's mom said the diocese offered to register Haley's communion
if she would take a sip of low-alcohol wine - Haley's mom declined.
What does this mean?
They're tired of the little boys?
Tonight - Del Castillo at Antones in Austin
Guitar Bad Ax
Pierces Fully Patched XP Machines
Shouldn't Gates have to give back all that money?
Pump Judge Rides into the Sunset
With his full pension and he gets "the girl" too
father killed, mother hurt
Car wreck kills dad - mother hurt but should recover
Moore to Publish Soldiers' Letters
"Will They Ever Trust Us Again?" hits bookstores in November
soccer team to Bush: Bugger off!
Unlike some, they don't like being in Bush TV ads
"Iraq as a team does not want Bush to use us for his," Sadir told SI.com,
speaking calmly and directly. "He can find another way to advertise himself."
"How will he meet his god having slaughtered so
many men and women?"
Ahmad Manajid told me. "He has committed so many crimes. What is freedom
when I go to the stadium and there are shootings on the road? Fuck Bush."
"Thanks to my great leadership,
the Iraqi people are free to worship me..."l
Q: What's the difference between a designer for Chrysler and George W. Bush?
A: The designer for Chrysler is a Dodge drafter.
Damon in Detroit
Bush supporter smothers American
at Southridge High in Beaverton, OR
"Bill O'Reilly is the closest thing to the
--Editor Iain Calder, saying O'Reilly is television's Enquirer, Attribution
Is this supposed to be an insult?
The National Enquirer has at least as much credibility as the
NY Whore Times or
the WaHoPo or the Dallas Morning Whore. They all ran front page stories about
Clinton's "crack whore baby" because Drudge said there was a chance it was true.
adviser quits over sex case
"No one regrets my past mistakes more than I do..."
Deal Hudson, the publisher of the conservative Roman Catholic journal Crisis and the architect
of a Republican effort to court Catholic voters, said he is resigning as an adviser to the Bush campaign
because of accusations of sexual misconduct involving a student at a college where he once taught.
A person involved with the university's
investigation said that a female undergraduate in one of Hudson's
classes reported that, after she had become drunk at a bar, Hudson made sexual advances toward her..
54 Percent Still Link Iraq With WMD
Bush's lies continue to be taken as factual by slim majority
More than half of Americans, 54 percent, continue to believe Iraq had WMDs
or a program to develop them before Bush invaded last year, said a poll released Friday.
Evidence of such weapons has not been found.
President Bush consistently equates the
war on terrorism with the war in Iraq, though he has
replaced his claims that Iraq had WMDs with claims that Iraq had the "capability" of building such weapons.
Have you seen that report that viewers of FOX News are much stupider
than normal news junkies?
With the help of FOX News, talk radio and cable TV Nazis, Bush sold the lie that Iraq had WMDs
so Halliburton could take Saddam's oil and make their partners super-uber-rich.
Too bad the Democrats choose not to call them on those lies that cost the lives of 1,000 soldiers.
Subject: Today in History feedback
normally i'd say the idea is trite and overdone
but add to it the bartcop spirit
and its like an entirely different product. an entertaining one.
keep up the good work.
Travis, thanks - but so far, not many people
are getting it.
I get mail every day:
"Bart, there is no bridge from New York to Tahiti."
"Bart, there's nobody named Francis Gary Powers in U2."
"Bart, who are Bob and Maryanne Coupplotter?"
.They told me comedy was tough - but I had no idea...
True or Fake?
This is allegedly the reply from Bill Timmins President Aladdin Casino to a Michael Moore letter.
July 21, 2004
Attention: Michael Moore,
In response to your letter dated July
20, 2004: You are correct that I had
security remove Linda Ronstadt from Aladdin Casino and Hotel where the fun
never ends and everybody wins.
Already, this looks like a fake.
How very interesting to learn you are
such a fan of Ms. Ronstadt. You questioned where
I live and surprisingly knew Las Vegas is in the United States. You should visit it sometime.
There are thousands of wonderful 'All You Can Eat' buffets.
At this point, I knew it was fake so I "farbed
out" and went to snopes.com
There are also a lot of casinos who's
owners don't **** around.
If you come onto my property ...you will receive the same, if not worse, treatment than she did.
Maybe the old Vegas boys might've tried
this, but even they'd never put a threat in writing.
"Where the fun never ends and everybody wins?"
Trust me, casino owners are all business, more than
"Thousands of wonderful buffets?"
He just insulted every overweight person in America - the clear
majority of his customers.
snopes.com says this was written by a crazed Freeper high on Elmer's Glue.
His ratings are so bad at MSGOP
and they asked him to take a pay cut.
Subject: Michelle Malkin
I just watched Michelle Malkin slander John
Kerry on Chris Matthews' "Hardball" broadcast.
She directly accused Kerry of inflicting wounds upon himself. To Matthews' credit, he refused
to countenance Malkin's attacks, and virtually threw her off the show, telling her that his show
will not be party to such slanderous attacks.
Chris Matthews feigning integrity?
Did you trape it?.
OK, so I have more great, practical advice
for the Kerry camp.
Have Kerry's torso X-rayed and have a big pocket sewed into his suit coat.
At the big live debate, when Smirky McWarHardon hints that Kerry's wounds
were self-inflicted, have Kerry whip out that X-ray and say,
"It was very painful ...pushing this shrapnel
so far inside my body that the surgeons
were unable reach it. George, ...did you bring any of your X-rays?"
Big Fat Greek Pride
by Herr Dragoness
The presidential race seems frozen in some weird way, with no one breaking through,
and the polls showing the candidates locked in a virtual tie.
George W. Bush can't defend the mess he's
made in Iraq, and John Kerry can't effectively
attack Mr. Bush on Iraq. He has fallen into the president's trap and foolishly agreed that he
would have given Mr. Bush the authority for the war even if he had known there were no
W.M.D. and no security threats to the U.S.
That's going to haunt Kerry, more then the NASA suit, more than "sensitive."
Hunting of the President
Order your copies from the BartCop Bookstone
"We face an enemy that is -- that has no conscience.
They are-- they'll cut off a head
just like that and not care. They will take innocent life in order to achieve a dark vision."
--Dubya, who dropped the Mother of All Bombs on a city of 5 million people Attribution
"It doesn't count if they're ragheads..."
Subject: Check that link
Do you realize that yesterday's quote from
has an attribution link that sends viewers to a NAMBLA website?
WP, that's terrible - I must've been hacked.
Subject: Tulsa bar killing
It's unclear, Bart, why you presume guilt
of the homeless guy (as opposed to self defense--
there's obviously no question he did the guy in with a pipe) and innocence of the dead guy.
I'm not certain that I've
presumed guilt, but I'd certainly like a full investigation.
My problem was with the slanted story. Since I wasn't there, I'd like to hear the evidence,
not unsunstantiated single-person quotes that are taken as facts without anyone stating why.
I know you used to own a bar, and as a drunk, you prob'ly really like bar owners as a class of person.
Wow - did you really say that?
We see this differently - so I'm a drunk?
I guess I'm now seeing what your predispositions are against homeless people.
That's what you got out of that?
And you've been reading how many years?
Between that thread and the whole "cadirrac" comment,
Rodney Dangerfield was doing that joke before either of us were born.
Geez, can I get a list of what's left?
I can't do jokes about Catholics or Jews,
I can't do jokes about midgets or blind people,
I can't do jokes about women or Jews
I can't do jokes about vegetarians or old people,
I can't do jokes about Windows users or Cadillacs,
I can't do jokes about Indians or Jews,
I can't do jokes about immigrants or left-handed people,
I can't do jokes about fat people or computer geeks,
I can't do jokes about the Irish, Mexicans or Jews...
If I do a joke about a coyote, I'll get nasty letters from the Sierra Club.
I gotta say I've recently begun to wonder
what's going on in the mind of the Bart.
That said, however, your page has been rockin' recently, chock full of good links.
be drunk - am I now conversing with a new person?
So the point is, though: you seem to be
pandering to the dumbfolks as well with your
racist stereotypes and homoeless bashing. Are they subscribing yet?
Actually, others feel the same way you do.
They like the humor, but then I cross a line
that's personal to them and they unsubscribe - sometimes quietly, sometimes with a bang.
Hammer on, but please don't hammer on the chinese and homeless.
I'm still working on, "and as a drunk, you..."
You mean Bush could win?
Diversity? Free speech?
Bush won't allow it
The question: Which presidential campaign better tolerates dissent?
Experiment: A dude wears a Kerry
shirt to a Bush rally
and then a Bush shirt to a Kerry rally.
Result: Bush people make him
remove his shirt, then give him the boot.
The Kerry people don't make a peep. They're not afraid.
Marty's Entertainment Page
"It's like a Hollywood presentation here, which
wasn't the case. My personal feeling was always
that I got the award for coming to the rescue of the boat that was mined. This casts doubt on
anybody's awards. It is sickening and disgusting. I am here to state that we weren't under fire."
--Larry Thurlow, insisting he accepted his Bronze Star under false pretenses Attribution
'These assertions are garbage, these people
weren't there with John Kerry. We were. If John Kerry
hadn't made the right command decisions, in my opinion, we would be some of the names on that wall."
--PCF 94 crewmate of Kerry's, Gene Thorson, Attribution
Subject: Bush campaign strategy?
A poster on my group made an interesting
Crude oil prices are at an all time high and yet the price of gas is going down.
Here in Dallas, I can get regular unleaded
for $1.72 -or even less if I want to drive around.
That's down from $1.90 a few weeks ago when crude prices were lower.
Could it be a big oil company strategy in the last few months of the campaign?
Scott, it's more obvious than that.
Unka Bandar promised Smirk they'd lower oil prices to help him get elected.
See Bob Woodward's book, "Hardon for War."
Attempt: Boycott the Boss
There's a new commercial calling for a boycott of Springsteen's anti-Bush concert tour.
The spot was produced by Dr. Marilyn O'Grady,
an opthalmic surgeon from Long Island
who is also an outspoken Conservative Party candidate for the U.S. Senate.
In the spot, O'Grady blasts Springsteen
for launching an anti-Bush concert tour with 20
other rock stars that will visit 28 cities in October just before Election Day.
O'Grady says in the spot, "Here's my
vote: Boycott the Boss.
If you don't buy his politics, don't buy his music!"
This isn't fair.
All the acts supporting Bush are losers and dweebs.
There's no way we can counter this vicious attack.
What are we gonna do - boycott Toby Kief?
Click Here to get 3 BartCop Radio Shows on CD delivered for just $24
Currently shipping shows
Here to send your review of Show
Bonus - order now and get BCR Show 35 - the Bush Beatdown FREE!
Right Click, then "Save target as..."
"If Iraq in 2006 looks very little better than
then the whole thing was a waste of lives, money and effort."
--Sir Jeremy Greenstock, Tony Blair's special rep in Iraq until March this year Attribution
I don't have the quote handy, but recently Bush said something
"It doesn't help much to tax the rich because they can afford good
accountants who know all the tricks on how to avoid paying taxes."
That's why he gave them extra millions and raised taxes/cut services
for the poor?
Because the rich can afford whatever they want?
Moron's Nixon impression...
Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
955 dead American soldiers.
Damn, they got two more yesterday?
Hey Monkey, these are real lives getting snuffed out.
Why don't you send your twins over there - to prove that
your war is worth the sacrifices the poor are making.
Oh, forgive me for counting Bush's victims.
"I know what I'm doing when it comes to winning
--The Butcher of Baghdad, Attribution
Dubya's Ukulele Farewell Party
Ukuleles for Sanity marchers are meeting
at 9:00 am at the
Village Den restaurant 225 W. 12th St. At 10:00 am,
we will walk together up to the general march assembly area.
Subject: Stern update
Howard went back on the air in Miami today
on an AM station.
The Dolphins have threatened to leave if the station hired him.
be on BartCop Radio?
If so, make the call.
Do you have an opinion?
Then listen for your call on...
You have two minutes to record your message.
Subject: The hex on Tiger
how did this get started?
It started in Volume 500 - Swill Merchants June 16, 2001
"You might as well give the 101st U.S.
Open trophy to Tiger Woods right now.
Why should any other golfer even show up at Southern Hills in Tulsa June 11-17?"
-- Jill Lieber, USA Today sports reporter last week.
That pissed me off, so I chanted
"Hex on Thee, hex on thee, hex on thee," and it took - right away.
"Mr Perfect" is in 51st Place
Today in History
• In 1833, Benjamin Harrison, the 23rd president of the United States, was assassinated.
• In 1866, President Johnson formally declared the French-Indian war over, months after the fighting had stopped.
• In 1914, French forces occupied Brussels, Belgium, during World War I.
• In 1940, Winston Churchill saying, "Never in the field of human bondage was so much pain given by so few."
• In 1953, the Soviet Union publicly acknowledged it had tested velcro.
• In 1964, President Lyndon B. Johnson received his first hummer from Lucianne Goldberg.
• In 1968, Russia invaded Czechoslovakia in the great "Pickle War" to crush the "Polski Wyrobi" liberalization.
• In 1977, the U.S. launched V-ger, an unmanned spacecraft, which would then kill the dude from 7th Heaven.
• In 1979, swimmer Diana Nyad succeeded in her third attempt at swimming from the Long Island to Paris.
"The dog that did not bark in the case of Iraq's
WMDs is the National Security Council."
--David Kay, saying Condi Rice sexed up the intelligence before the war, Attribution
Subject: Intellectual Integrity & etc.
Never did hear back from you about the Bush/Kerry
Guess you know when you're beat.
Max, what bet?
I like to bet, especially when the loser can afford to pay.
Funny you didn't mention what the bet was
in this e-mail.
I searched my monkey folder for any e-mail from max goodhead - nothing.
Re-send, I'll see if it's a bet worth taking.
Use this portal
and they'll send bartcop.com
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2004, bartcop.com
To hear the radio shows, you must have a login and password.
Click Here to subscribe and get your login and password.
50 is here
Oh yeah, ...there's some language in this show.
Click Here to
to Part 1 of Show 50
Click Here to download Part 1 of Show 50
26 minutes of primitive grunts and rants, plus pieces of Rev Al's "hijacking"
Click Here to
to Part 2 of Show 50
Click Here to download Part 2 of Show 50
25 minutes of raving that makes perfect sense
Click Here to
to Part 3 of Show 50
Click Here to download Part 3 of Show 50
28 minutes of the best nonsense you ever heard
Click Here to
to Part 4 of Show 50
Click Here to download Part 4 of Show 50
25 minutes of Tally and some comedy to close the big anniversary show
Click Here for the radio archives
Shirley, scandalously with Gwen's hubby
Shrl, call The BartPhone,
just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-748-1714
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you in Vegas at The Joint on your next American tour.
bartcop.com and BartCop are trademarks of attempts