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..stupidest monkey ever

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LINKS 2005

Project 60
BC Entertainment
Bush-Saudi Ties
F-9/11 Backup


In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Catholics screw up - BIG time
Bush passes the buck again 
Praise for Bruce Yurgil
The beautiful make more money?
Guard saw Jackson sex acts?
Big Pussy gets arrested
Lyons: A man of faith

Predicting the Future

Jenna Bush filmed doing lapdance

 Quote of the Day

"There is no Social Security trust fund.
   Just I.O.U.s that I saw first hand."
   --the always wrong Bumble Monkey,


Support Bartcop.com PO Box 54466 , Tulsa, OK 74155PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com

Volume 1529 - Salt in their wounds   

  Friday   April  8,  2005                                          Mike Malloy  - 10 EST Weeknights AAR


"The nation's second-largest oil company, Chevron-Texaco, announced it was
  buying Unocal.  A spokesman for Chevron Texaco, which made a $13 billion profit
  last year, says the new company will be called 'Bend Over, America.'" 
      --Dennis Miller,   Attribution


 Dennis, you can't come back. We don't want you.
 Stay on the side of Bush and the oil companies because you've burned your bridges.
 You bet your career on Bush and his phony war - and lost.


 Catholics screw up - BIG time 
 Vatican Gives 'Rape Cardinal" Role of Honor

    "I don't care what you think."

  Click  Here

 Cardinal Bernard Law, who resigned in disgrace as archbishop of Boston over his role in the
 Catholic priests sex abuse crisis, has been given a role of honor in the mourning for the Pope.

The Vatican announced the BIG screw up Thursday, saying Law will lead one of the Masses
 celebrated in the pope's memory during the nine-day period that follows the funeral.

Catholics in his former archdiocese, as you'd certainly expect, immediately protested.
"It certainly shows and puts a spotlight on the lack of accountability in the Catholic Church,
 that the most visible bishop in the child rape scandal has been given this honor," she said.

 David Clohessy, national director for the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests, called it "terribly insensitive."

"It rubs salt into the already deep wounds of victims and it allows the best-documented complicit bishop
 to exploit the pope's death for his own selfish purposes," Clohessy said.

 Is this Bush-style chutspah or Bush-style extreme stupidity?
 They are mocking the few people who still have faith in the Catholic Church.
 They're clearly saying, "We don't care what you think - we don't care how it looks."

 ...and statistically, another boy was raped by a priest the day the pope was buried.

  Bush passes the buck again
    by Helen Thomas

  Click  Here

 Scott McClellan says President Bush was "pleased" with the latest investigation that blames CIA
 analysts for the false information that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. That's the reason Bush
 invaded Iraq, remember? Once again it's those low-level bureaucrats who took us into war. And once
 again a panel of "don't rock the boat" establishment figures has let the commander in chief off the hook.
 I asked McClellan if the president was upset to be so misguided and at such a human cost. Well, you had
 to be there. He danced around on the subject, talked about "a culture in the intelligence community that
 had not adapted to meet the threats that we face today." But he could not be pinned down on how the
 president personally felt about making war on the basis of bum information."

 ...and the military and their families love this president?

..monkey AWOL coward


  Subject: Love your web site

 Dear Bart, Love your website.
 been reading it for 2 year's. use to read the newspaper's, and new's on tv.
 NO MORE!! I read 'BARTCOP'!!
 keep up the good work.
 We need more people like you keeping an eye on this fu--ked up whitehouse in DC.
 Live way up in Maine. and an old navy vet.


 Howee, shot of Chinaco for you!
 I like anti-Bush vets.




"Under John Paul II, the church presided over the rape and molestation of thousands of children and teenagers.
  The church at first did all it could to protect its own and to impugn and threaten the victims of this abuse.
  Rome never acknowledged, let alone take responsibility for, the scale of the moral betrayal.
  I was staggered to see Cardinal Bernard Law holding press conferences in Rome this week.
  This pope sided with the perpetrators, because they were integral to his maintenance of power.
  When it came to walking the walk in his own life and with his own responsibility, he walked away.
  He all but ignored his church's violation of the most basic morality - that you don't use the prestige
  of the church to rape innocent children." 
    --Andrew Sullivan, Catholic  Attribution

  Praise for Bruce Yurgil

  Click  Here

 If you've frequented BartCop with any regularity, you will have seen samples of Yurgil's unique
 pulp-art-as-polemic vision. They're like B-movie theater signs or the covers of trashy dime novels,
 all with a snarky twist and (without exception, I think) the visage of at least one member of the
 current "administration" subtly grafted in.


 Beautiful People Make More Money?

  Click  Here

 Research by the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis suggests that society's "hotties"
 tend to make more money and get promoted more often than people with average looks.

 ha ha

 Next, they'll say good-looking people have a better chance of making it in Hollywood.

 When you see a young, thin, gorgeous man or woman talking about, "Life's not fair,"
 don't you just want to slap some fairness and common sense right into their perfect faces?

donate if you can

 Care to support  bartcop.com?
PO Box 54466
Tulsa, OK 74155 

 Guard Testifies He Saw Jackson Sex Acts

  Click  Here

A former Neverland ranch security guard testified Thursday that in the early 1990s he saw
 Michael Jackson
perform oral sex on a boy who later received a financial settlement from the pop star.

 Chacon said Jackson caressed the boy's hair, kissed him on the mouth and elsewhere and engaged in oral sex.
 The former guard testified that at that point he left.

 Why didn't he call the police?
 Sex with kids is illegal in every state, even Oklahoma, so why didn't the "security guard" call the cops?
 If Jackson was torturing the kid with a hot fork, would the guard have called the cops?

 Should we be suspicious that so many people have come forward with claims who have remained
 silent for years or decades?  Have they all been extorting money from Jackson over the years?

 Is Jackson now penniless - so now they're ready to talk since the gearvy train stopped coming by?


"The occupier (Bush) is carrying out arrests and sweeps which have
  no precedent in the darkest tales of Saddam's intelligence forces."
    --Ali al-Sibahi of the National Salvation Council, U.S. 'oppression' harsher than Saddam's

 Observation: In America, we've seen people arrested for standing on the streets.
 We've seen people arrested for wearing anti-Bush t-shirts.
 We've seen people arrested for "illegal" bumper stickers.
 We've seen people arrested for exercizing free speech,
 but Bush wants us to believe the arrested Iraqis are all guilty?


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Subscribe   and listen to all 72 shows

 Big Pussy gets arrested
  No, not Tom Delay - he's 'Little Pussy'


  Click  Here


Television tough guy Vincent Pastore turned himself in to cops yesterday, days after the
former "Sopranos" star allegedly roughed up his fiancée and left her on a Little Italy street.

The actor, who played mobster Sal (Big Pussy) Bonpensiero on the HBO hit series,
was charged with beating up Lisa Regina, 44, on Saturday.

Pastore, who planned to wed Regina in June, was led out of Manhattan's 5th Precinct
 in handcuffs after being slapped with assault and harassment charges.

Unlike his character, who spilled his guts to the FBI to avoid jail on a drug rap,
Pastore kept his mouth shut as cops put him in a marked police car.


Oklahoma's Monkey senators Coburn and Inhofe

  Al Franken on Tour

  Go see Al, tell him "Bart says Hey!"
  Get a picture of Al posing with a BartCop sticker and win 6 months of BartCop radio Free!

 Here's Al's schedule:
 Monday 4/11       NYC
 Tuesday 4/12       Memphis
 Wednesday 4/13 Chapel Hill, NC
 Thursday 4/14     Charleston, NC
 Friday Tax Day    NYC 

  Subject: Get off Kerry's back
 I was one of those readers who wrote to say get off Kerry's back.
 I take it all back. You were right. In spades.
 Kerry is a complete tutu. I sent him my hard-earned money
 and now he's got MILLIONS that he didn't spend?
 Fuck the Dems.
 Ain't gonna get fooled again.

Subject: Bartcop.com, Randi Rhodes and optimists

  If everybody is right and Kerry DOES win by a landslide,
 Bart will be the first one partying. And I'm sure he'll be
 overjoyed to tell you that he was wrong.

Sometimes I hate being right.


Squirrelly bastard

A man of faith
   by Gene Lyons

  Click  Here

 John Paul II suggested that advocates of gay marriage are
"perhaps part of a new
 ideology of evil, perhaps more insidious and hidden, which attempts to pit
human rights
 against the family and against man." Many wonder if "insidious" doesn’t better describe

 American bishops and cardinals who transferred serial pedophile priests from parish to
endangering thousands of children entrusted to the church’s care, in the futile hope
 of avoiding 
scandal. An amoral secular bureaucracy could hardly have done worse.

  Hmmm, almost looks like Gene has been reading  bartcop.com


 Subject: I met Lee Hamilton Yesterday
I met Lee Hamilton yesterday. 
 He gave a lecture to my admin law class and then took questions. 

 The problem was, I didn’t know anything about Lee Hamilton at the time. 
 The whole time that he was talking, I was thinking, “Man, I know that I just saw this guy’s name somewhere.” 

 I asked him some lame-o question about the procedure of congressional oversight actions. 
 Then I got home and right in the middle of BartCop was you bit about Mr. Hamilton.

..traitor-bastard lee hamilton

 Holy Crap.
 Then I went and checked his story out.
 I wish that I could get that Q&A session back now. 

 The lesson:  Check BartCop early and often.


 Strippers for Jesus

  Click  Here

 The gift-bearers, all female, bypassed this scene, walking directly to the dressing room,
 where a handful of dancers in abbreviated costumes sat or stood, chatting and fixing their hair.

 Within seconds the dancers clamored for the gifts - perfume, scarves, jewelry, inspirational books
 - while the givers handed out brochures inviting dancers to join a support group or simply call a hotline.

 It's a tricky balancing act. "It's not a ministry widely accepted within the church," said Lisanne McMurray,
 a former stripper and author of a book, Web site and gospel newsletter tailored for exotic dancers


Remembering the First Fight Against Fascism

..world war II tribute
   Click  to  Enter

 Includes the landings at Iwo Jima and Okinawa,
 the firebombing of Dresden and Tokyo,
 the Russians rampaging in the east and
 the Western Allies crossing the Rhine.


 Predicting the Future
 Surprisingly, some of my predictions fail to come true.
 That happened again in BCR Show 72.

 I thought sure that  this bit  would cause a bigger stir than:

 Pat Tillman being a hero,
my distaste for Piss Christ,
"torture never works" and
"the DLC-is-killing-us" combined.

 But ...not one e-mail has hit my eyeballs, pro-or-con.
 That so surprised me, I went back and verified that it made it to the final edit.

 Does this mean I'm right?



"It was the Holy Spirit talking to me. It was telling me
  that it was time to go. I had that feeling" 
      --Bob Novak, (R-Prince of Darkness) on his conversion to Catholicism,, Attribution  


 Sex with boys

 I have a question.
 It's just a question, so try to keep your head, OK?

 Who is responsible for more sex crimes?

 Michael Jackson or Pope Paul II??

 One will probably be murdered in prison.
 One will probably be the next Catholic saint.

 In the next BCR, I'm going to blow (NPI) this Catholic Sex Scandal wide open.
 I figured out the piece of the puzzle that was missing.

 It's bigger than the iceberg Tom Delay hit recently.
 I got this wired - it's so obvious.
 All the cable channels, all the talk radio pundits,
 and nobody figured it out except Tequilaboy from K-Drag?

 When you hear this, you'll slap your head and say,
 "Obviously, ...but why didn't I think of that?"

 Don't miss BCR Show 73.

 I'm so sure of my position, I'm looking for wager possibilities.
 I have the clue, I have the key to the whole puzzle.

 I know what cards the bishops are holding.
 There's just one sentence keeping the bishops from signing the 'no rape' pledge.
 Here it now or catch it in 2008 when some disgruntled  bartcop.com  intern leaks it to CNN.

 Don't miss BCR Show 73.


Great anti-Monkey t-shirts

 Subject: the N word

 I am a black woman and I do so agree with you.
 You get it!!

 Joyanne, thanks.   I worked on BCR 73 today.  I transfered/truncated/edited/re-formatted
 /cataloged/enhanced clips from Blazing Saddles  for possible use as mortar in BCR 73.

 And I want to say again I'm not insensitive to the feelings of those offended by frank language,
 but to some degree, if the "N" word is never funny, then Blazing Saddles wasn't funny,
 and that goes for most everything written by Richard Pryor, Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle etc...

if it makes you laugh, it's hard to say it's not funny.

Marty's Entertainment Page

The best in Hollywood news

  Bush snubs Carter on Pope Funeral Trip

  Click  Here

 He was the only president ever to host a pope at the White House when John Paul II came to visit
 a quarter-century ago, and in many ways Jimmy Carter had a powerful spiritual and philosophical
 affinity for the Polish pontiff. But when the pope is buried at the Vatican this morning, three living
 U.S. presidents will be in attendance and Carter will not.

  The reason has touched off a classic Washington imbroglio fueled by suspicion, animosity and distrust,
 one that has reopened a rift between the camps of the former president and the current one. When Carter
 was left off the delegation list assembled by Bush's White House, Democrats assumed he was snubbed.
 The Bush team is angry at what it considers an unfair smear.


 The BFEE hates carter because they can't smear him with a sex scandal.



"One of the ironies in the new Iraq is the continuing talk about chemical weapons at a
  time many have forgotten that nearly at this time two years ago thousands of bombs were
  dropped on our countryThe ‘liberation troops’ have turned into destruction troops." 
    --Kadhem al-Miqdadi,  Attribution

  Drew Barrymore on Jon Stewart

 ..sexy drew barrymore

 Did you see her last night?
 I find her bubbly, funny and sexy and I think Jon did, too.
 Funny, when she broke into acting I didn't think she was sexy at all.
 But over the years my opinion of her has changed - strange how that works.


  VCR Alert

 FRI - Bill Maher has the BFEE's Richard Perle (R-Loves War Dead) and Arianna Huffington.
 SAT - SNL is live (Go figure) w/ Green Day doing 'Boulevard' and the anti-Bush 'American Idiot'
 SUN - Bart Simpson turns Catholic.
 Jenna Bush filmed doing lapdance

..nasty jenna bush lap dance

  Click  Here

 ...but the networks, talk radio and the tabloids will only cover Chelsea's "drinking problem"
 and her love life, so it looks like the pro-Bush bastards continue to own the press.


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..sexy Shirley Manson
            Shirley Manson  

 Shrl, send me an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!
 Catch you in Vegas at The Joint on your next American tour. 

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