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Wednesday   Dec 14, 2005    Volume 1671 - BushTortureKill

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Power of Nightmares

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
War over Christmas
Doubletalk Policy 
Spot the next Brownie 
Hot Teacher Prison Sex
What's the Point?
$60M Poker game
Daily Show Suicide
XM gets Dylan 
Lindsay Lohan & Regis 


 Quote of the Day

"I have played guys who have killed
  people and I have played guys who 
  made love with their daughters" 
     --Donald Sutherland, on playing a conservative,  Link

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Reporter 1: Since the inception of the Iraqi war, I'd like to know the approximate total of Iraqis
                     who have been killed. And by Iraqis, I include civilians, military, police, insurgents, translators.

Dubya: How many Iraqi citizens have died in this war? I would say 30,000, more or less, have died as a result
            of the initial incursion   of my greed and my lies  and the ongoing violence against Iraqis.

Reporter 2: Thank you --

Dubya: I'll repeat the question. If I don't like it, I'll make it up.
    --Dubya, in Philly, Link


The War over Christmas
  by Robert Parry at  consortiumnews.com


You have to hand it to political operatives who can turn the Christmas celebration of Jesus's birth
into a nasty wedge issue, transforming a traditional message of love, peace and tolerance into one
of anger, conflict and resentment.

The success of the American Right in extracting a "war on Christmas" out of a few well-meaning
gestures to non-Christians, such as using the greeting "Happy Holidays," is a testament to the
investment conservatives have made in media over three decades.

With their vertically integrated media apparatus - from newspapers and magazines, to TV and radio,
to books and the Internet - the Right now can take a few scattered anecdotes on almost any topic
and heat them up into a hot-button issue.

If only the Democrats could learn to fight back.


Subject: The Terminator

Hello Bart,

How many people has Arnold pretended to killed during his film career?
Now he can say he has done it for real...

Eddie B.



"60 years ago, my dad fought against the Japanese -- many of your relatives did, as well.
They were the sworn enemy of the United States. I find it amazing -- I don't know if you find it amazing
-- I find it amazing that I sit down with this guy [Koizumi], strategizing about how to make the world a
more peaceful place when my dad and others fought him."
      --Dubya, trying to grasp the meaning of the "things change" concept,   Link


Doubletalk Torture Policy
  by Helen Thomas


How long will the American people tolerate the shaming of their nation by the inhumane treatment
of prisoners of war and the spiriting of detainees to secret prisons outside the United States?

Is it any wonder that other countries believe that America has lost its moral purpose by surrendering
our well-earned reputation for human rights?

Condoleezza Rice had hoped to mend relations that have been strained by invasion. Instead, she has
been hounded with questions about secret prisons in two European nations. She has steadfastly refused
to answer yes or no, thus providing inadvertent confirmation of the report.



Please visit our longest running sponsor

Spot the next Brownie
  by Molly Ivins


Scope out the Bird Flu Czar from Amtrak. Stewart Simonson is now in charge of "the protection of the civilian
population from acts of bioterrorism and other public health emergencies," according to his government biography.
He is also in charge of ensuring that the country has adequate vaccines and antiviral meds to combat an avian flu epidemic.

This would be peachy-keen if Simonson had any experience in public health, bioterrorism, epidemics or even management.
Unfortunately, he's a political lawyer. As he recently told a congressional subcommittee, "We're learning as we go."

 "We don't mind that Bush is gambling with 100M American lives.
    He's our president and he can appoint whoever he wants."


Subject: you're wrong about teacher sex



Richard Pryor 1940-2005


Unlike Biggie, Richard Pryor really was ready to die. When I interviewed him a few years ago, he told me
what bothered him the most about his MS was not being able to jump around like he used to, reminding us
that this most verbal of men was also as physically comedic as Chaplin. For those reasons Pryor's demise
was a sweet release, a right fitting and proper breaking on through to that other side. Yet it remains a
mournful event for the rest of us because, like Baldwin, Richard always seemed less a negro celebrity than
a beloved family member, one whose death automatically becomes a nostalgic reminder that better, funkier
days are behind us.

So that Pryor's greatest gift  to his comedic sons and daughtersóChris Rock, the Saturday Night Live
Eddie Murphy, Dave Chappelle, The Boondocks's Aaron McGruder, Sarah Silverman, and Wanda Sykes
ólies in demonstrating that while any fool can be Black and funny, coaxing bellylaughs out of Black and
confrontational requires the gift of tongues and a funnybone made of pure balls.

Peace go with you, Rich.


 Chapter Ten

Today: The Holy Trinity Constitutional Amendments.

Click to Enter

 Hot Teacher Prison Sex
  Mom: Let's not have a trial

  Don't let your son get lucky


The mother of a 14-year-old child says she believes the case of the hot teacher
accused of having sex with her son should not go to trial.

Circuit Judge Hale Stancil last week turned down a plea agreement that would
allow 25-year-old Debra Lafave, to avoid a prison sentence.

The boy's mother told the local paper that she disagreed with Stancil's decision
to reject the agreement and set the case for trial.

"I strongly feel it would further victimize my son if he was forced to testify in court..."

Like with a lot of issues, I just don't see it that way.
It'd be my guess the quarterback of the football team bumps into this kid in the hall
at school and says, "Dude, big fan!  You f-ing rock for nailing Mrs. Lafave."

Do we think his peers are chastising him?

ha ha

"Dude, what are you doing?
  Having hot sex with the hot teacher?
  What's wrong with you?"

ha ha

Yeah, that's the high school *I* went to...


Subject: Tookie Williams

It does not matter if he had a change of heart or not,
he killed four people and he must pay for his crime.

The four he killed did not have a chance to live why should he?

It is good that he changed so let God his maker judge him.

You could be right, but if there's no difference between staying a bad man
and turning your life around and helping other people - why bother?


Scottie the Underbear's Daily Denial

"I did not have sex with ranch hands in Crawford.
 Nobody saw us, you can't prove a thing..."


Subject: Bart loves Hillary

Riiiiight...it's just those ultra lefties who hate Hillary.
Like Breslin, and the only recently reformed Republican, Arianna H.

Then there are people like me...moderate in politics ...immoderate in wanting an actual Democrat to run
as the Democrat's nominee. You're right that Hillary MIGHT actually fight for the win...but what've we got
if she gets it? Another GOOPlite, DLC-er who stands by while the Republican noise machine builds itself up
even more just like she and her useless husband did when they were in last time.

ha ha

Clinton was useless?  Compared to Der Murder Monkey?
Clinton was useless?  Compared to Poppy?
Clinton was useless?  Compared to Reagan?
Clinton was useless?  Compared to got-fired Carter?
Clinton was useless?  Compared to Ford?
Clinton was useless?  Compared to "will not accept" LBJ?

With whom are you comparing Clinton?
Some mythical candidate inside your head?

Clintons fight for themselves, but the party went even further to Hell under them,
and will continue down the same path til we flush the goddam DLC toilet.

Yeah, the party went to Hell so bad that we got our man re-elected for the first time since 1944.

Wait, you're not Bob Shrum with a fake address, are you?



$60M Poker Tourney Set
 Who wants to sponsor Ol' Bart?


Six players will compete in a winner-take-all $60 million televised poker tournament next summer.

Fox Sports Net and Mansionpoker.net reached agreement Monday, with the pots growing to $75 million
in 2007 and $100 million in 2008 for the one-day competitions at the Crown Casino in Melbourne, Australia.
The first tournament is scheduled July 12.

"This event will transcend poker in the United States and take on a global platform," Greenberg said.
"It'll be the largest single payday in the history of sports and will turn the poker world on its ear."

Phil Ivey, the "Tiger Wods of Poker," will be in the field.
The other players will be announced later, Greenberg said.

I say handle this like a Playmate Strip Poker Tourney at The Palms, "by invitation only."
Don't trap Phil Ivey with five I-got-lucky, online handjobs with a Star wars fetish.
Get five major players who we all know (No celebrities!) and let's play some poker.


Subject: Murtha

Why isn't congressmen Murtha on your list for president.
He is the best Democrat candidate around.

He may be, but we hardly know him.
Might make a better VP if Clark declines her invitation...

The Democrats are really missing the boat by not jumping on his bandwagon
and demanding answers from Bush about the Iraq invasion.
Are the Dems really that dumb?

Mark S

Mark, yes.


Daily Show Suicide


Bill Clarey, 25, an employee of  "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" has committed suicide,
leading the network to play a rerun Monday night instead of their planned program.

Comedy Central has sent grief counselors to the "Daily Show" set to help its employees
who first learned of the suicide upon coming to work Monday.


Subject: Capitol Hill Blue


Just a quick note to let you know that most of us out here in internet-liberal-land
don't consider Capital Hill Blue to be a valid source.  While I would like to believe
what they print, it's just too over the top, even in today's wacky landscape.

Keep Swinging,

Bart, the problem with the Bush quote from Capitol Hill Blue is that
Doug Thompson DOES make shit up, and he makes shit up all the time.
He did the same thing when Clinton was President.

He mentions "anonymous sources" and says that they told him stuff that's pretty damned shocking.
He's been doing this for years.  It gets circulated because it's what people want to hear.
The Clinton-haters circulated the stuff when Clinton was in, and now it's the same thing from the other side.

The quote probably IS an accurate assessment of what the monkey-boy thinks of the Constitution,
but I doubt that Doug Thompson knows any more about what goes on in the White House than you or me.

Natalia and Cfort, I have been suspicious of CHB for a long time.
Thanks for that.


Marty's Entertainment Page

always has good stuff.

Random Thought...

Maybe my timing was bad.

Maybe my brain is too small, but I didn't catch a Pryor tribute on Dave last night, either.
His guess was John Witherspoon, who was on Richard's TV show.
Nothing on Kimmel, nothing on Ferguson.

But I did see a great segment on Nightline, of all places, with Rich's friend Whoopie.
Why is it up to the Disney Corp. to salute Pryor's genius, when, apparently, Dave, Jon, Kimmel, etc forgot?

I must have it wrong - somebody straighten me out.

 Bart, here's the deal...

Subject: Gore

Bart, Dan Leahey is wrong.

When those sissy republican staffers were sent to disrupt & intimidate the recount, a phone call
should have been made. One call to any God damn union hall in the area would have done it.

Within 1 hour that location would have had the manpower ( people like me) to kick
those weasels the hell out of there. But nooooooo, lets make fuckin nice.

Danny Detroit.

Nice is good at black tie dinner.
Nice is good at a wedding or a birthday party,
but nice with the GOP means surrender
and Democrats have become very nice.



"It's a myth to think I don't know what's going on."
     --Dubya, lying again   Link

"Every morning I look at the newspaper I can tell you what the headlines are.
  I must confess, if I think the story is, like, not a fair appraisal, I'll move on."
     --Dubya, who knows what's going on - but only reads the good news,   Link


Subject: Pryor/McCarthy

Bart -

I am a little diappointed that you put so much attention into Richard Pryor
and so little into Gene McCarthy.  Pryor's humor was top-tier, but McCarthy's
politics shortened the war and ultimately saved lives.  Food for thought....

By the way, Blazing Saddles is the best movie ever made.
Rick (Harmony Cedar) and I sit and watch it regularly.

John, I knew who Gene was, and I respected him,
but I spent thousands of hours with Richard Pryor.

One of those obits said, "He was like family."

He was around here...



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"I think that Iraq is already a success story, and I think it's going
  to end up being remembered by historians as a huge success story."
        --Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Whore, Liar)   Link

 Republicans always like to predict how their policies will work 50 years from now
 because in the present, their ideas seem like such hopeless, bloody quagmires


Justices To Review DeLay-Led Districting
 Chainsaw Massacre gave the GOP six extra House seats


The Supreme Court agreed to consider the legality of Texas's 2003 congressional redistricting plan,
which was engineered by Tom DeLay (R-Indicted) and helped cement GOP control of the House.

The court will hear challenges from Democrats and minority groups who say that the mid-decade
redistricting unlawfully diluted the strength of minority voters, injected undue partisanship into the
congressional map and violated the concept of one person, one vote by drawing district lines with
outdated census data.

I have an idea:
Why can't they just use Zip codes?


Subject: Gore

Sorry, pal, but all of your anti-Gore arguments are media contrived.
Every one.
You have some serious Bob Somerby reading to do.

I think you are crazy, but you knew that.
I could say, "Every 'Honest Abe' story is media contrived."
But would that make it true?

Bart, it seems like you're running out of time to keep up with events
- a potentially serious problem for someone in your business.
It's possible that doing so much is counter-productive.
Jimmy the lawyer

Dude, you're right - I need some time off.


Is your  bartcop.com  subscription up to date?

Subject: O'Reilly and his war on Christmas

Saw on Atrios today that o'liellys parent company is holding two "holiday" parties.

I wonder if he's gonna bring the full power of his radio and television show "horror" to his boss??
Oaktree in OR

Remember, der Monkey sent out Xmas cards that said, "Happy Holidays."


 Iraq pumps 2,000,000 barrels a day,
(and that was before the 2002 Halliburton Upgrade)
 times today's oil price which is  $62.31 a barrel
makes $124,620,000  Bush stole just yesterday

2146 2150 have died for Halliburton

They seem to be dying in fours - carloads?

Does the evil bastard care?

"Do I look like I care?
I made  $124 Million  today - what'd you make?
Heh heh..."

Bush brought in a gusher of blood.


Click Here to Search Bartcop

Howard Dean - What's the Point?


Every week I get dozens of solicitations from the DNC, from the DSCCC, or from various Democratic
candidates, each of them asking for contributions. "You can help us achieve victory next November," I am told.

Republicans build the voting machines, Republicans write the secret software, Republicans compile the totals.
The Republican machines allow no auditing of the vote totals they report. So Republicans have the ability to
"win" elections, regardless of the will of the voters.  There is compelling evidence that they have done just that.
In the United States today, there are no means to verify up to 80% of those votes.

In view of this dreadful situation, when the Democrats ask me for a contribution I must reply:
"What's the point? It's already been settled!  What remains is an empty charade."

Why don't the Democrats want to win?
They want our money, "to help with the fight"but they refuse to fight.

Don't tell me how powerless they are.
Every time they do an interview, they could mention Bush's crooked voting machines, but they don't.
They could walk out of every speech Bush gives to protest the lost right to have votes counted, but they don't.


Subject: Gary Webb

Yeah, Gary Webb shot himself twice in the head with a 38.
James Hatfield author of "Fortunate son" shot himself,
William Colby  "accidentaly drowns",
Paul Wellstones plane falls out of the sky.

We really have crack suicide simulation teams in America.
They are usually aided by world-class FBI evidence fabrication teams.

Porter "car bomb" Goss, and John "death squad" Negroponte are protecting America now.
America has a tradition of bribing and murdering  journalists in other countries, why not here?
Bush and friends are monsters.


Sirius gets Stern, XM gets Dylan


Legendary folk rocker Bob Dylan (Oh, that Bob Dylan? I thought they meant Bob Dylan,
the guy who throws my newspaper) will start a new career as a radio DJ when he launches
a new weekly music show on XM Satellite Radio next March.

XM says his show would feature hand-picked music by Dylan, (Oh really?  I thought it might be
hand-picked by my cousin Tim) writer of some of the enduring classics of popular music since the
1960s such as "Mr Tambourine Man," "Like a Rolling Stone" and "The Times They Are A-Changin'."

"Dylan will offer regular commentary on music and other topics, host and interview special guests
including other artists and will take emails from XM subscribers," XM said.

They need to fix this sooner rather than later.

What if you needed one TV to watch C.S.I. and another TV to watch Desperate Housewives
and a third TV to watch HBO when The Sopranos comes back on?
XM has baseball, Sirius has football - when will the madness end?

I blame the lawyers.


Click  to  Order

Click  to  Order

Click  to  Order

How BIG is King Kong?

 "He's 22 inches and...
   he knows how to use it!"


 ...I meant how f-ing tall is he!


...how do you know?


He's 25 feet tall and 8,000 pounds, but King Kong is only going to get bigger.
Universal says the big-budget ape flick will play in 9568 theaters the first weekend.

Hey, don't get me wrong - I'm a Peter Wolf fan, a Rings fan, a Kong fan, 
but if  The BartCop Movie  opened in 9568 theaters worldwide, it would be a worldwide hit.

The critics say it's a great film - acting - writing - characters - chemistry - effects.
Let's hope Tom Green's not molesting a cow with his teeth this weekend.


Subject: Cho on Richard

You said:
"How lucky for Margaret that she sent that while Richard was still here"

Lucky? No, she knew the right thing to do and she *acted* on it ... 
She did what we ALL should have done.

I read the whole letter and was crying by the end. I'm not usually a crier,
but damn, I can't get over what a great man we lost.

Letterman must feel like shit. Jon Stewart didn't mention it, but he'd had a staff member 
commit suicide over the weekend and had cancelled Monday's show....

This has hit me surprisingly hard...what a loss...you are so right. 
Don't wait.


I think BCR 85 rocks,
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Pigboy loses court fight


Prosecutors can subpoena Rush Limbaugh's doctors as part of an investigation into whether the 
heroin-abusing blowhard illegally bought  forced his housekeeper to buy painkillers, a judge ruled Monday.
Judge Crow ruled that Florida laws do not prevent doctors from talking with prosecutors if the discussion 
is relevant to the prosecution of a crime.

ha ha

The decision gave prosecutors permission to subpoena doctors and their staff, but it also protected confidential 
material in Limbaugh's medical records. The judge noted that Florida law prohibits the discussion of a patient's 
medical condition and information disclosed by a patient during treatment.

Prosecutors and an attorney for Limbaugh both said they benefited from the ruling.

Sure, after fighting this for years, then losing, Pigboy's lawyers spin this as a win?
Throw the bastard in jail so we can get this behind us already.


Lindsay Lohan snubs Regis

    Lindsay Lohan: Too drunk for Regis?


Partying star Lindsay Lohan upset the folks at "Live with Regis & Kelly" by pulling out
of the show at the last minute yesterday, says an insider.

Lohan had attended the glitzy "King Kong" premiere in Manhattan Monday night and was
also spotted enjoying herself at an after-party, but her handlers called the popular chat show
the next morning, saying Lohan wouldn't show up as scheduled because she had "food poisoning."

She's scheduled to be too drunk for Ellen today.


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Because of you, I'm able to pressure Bush's cowardly ass full-time.

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