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Fri-Monday   Jan 6-9, 2006   Volume 1685 - Flagrant Crimes 

Quote of the Day

"As an avid watcher of the Oscars, I can't help 
  but be a little disappointed with the choice."
     -- Jon Stewart, after being asked to host the Oscars

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
The Abramoff Crowd 
Chopper Crash kills 12 
Reasons to Be Glad 
DeLay - GOP pariah
Whore Sparring 
Musclehead Wreck
Hers for the Taking 
Our Darkest Days 
Katie Holmes trouble? 



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"George Bush doesn't care about black people."
    -- Kanye West, too brave to be a Democrat

 Remember when Kanye did SNL?
 Mike Myers dropped by for some comedy with Kanye.

 Myers was standing next to Kanye at the Katrina benefit when Kanye told the truth.
 In the SNL sketch, when Kanye asked Mike how he was doing, Mike answered,
"Well, now my mail and phone calls are being monitored..."  etc.

 At the time, it was funny.
 We just didn't know how true it was.


Hauling in the Abramoff Crowd
  by Robert Parry   as seen on consortiumnews.com


Prosecutors in a Florida murder case want to question Republican super-lobbyist Jack Abramoff
and two associates now that they've struck plea agreements on fraud cases, requiring cooperation
\with other government probes. The victim of the 2001 gangland-style murder had been in a dispute
with an Abramoff business group at the time of his slaying. But lawyers for Abramoff insist he knows
nothing about the killing.

Note: consortiumnews.com  is the most important site on the Internet.


Black Hawk down in Iraq
 12 more victims of Bush's greed


A Black Hawk helicopter crashed in Iraq Saturday, killing all 12 soldiers aboard.
It was the worst helicopter crash since January 2005, when a chopper killed 30 Marines and one sailor.

Two U.S. Black Hawk helicopters collided under fire in Mosul in November 2003, killing 17 soldiers,
a week after another Black Hawk was shot down killing six.

A Black Hawk was shot down near Falluja in January 2004, killing all nine on board.

...all because Bush wanted to steal Iraq's oil.

How can military families continue to lie to themselves?
Is any price acceptable to them?
To help Bush steal more millions?



4 Reasons to Be Glad Bush Is Still President




Subject: Bush to bomb Iran?

What do you make of all these stories recently saying that the BFEE is going to bomb Iran?




Brad, it may mean that Bush is about to bomb Iran.

How crazy is Iran?
They're taunting Bush, daring him to bomb them,.
If Bush has proved anything in this world, it's that he likes to kill.
So why is the senior Iranian handjob taunting him?

Even sane people say Iran's about to get nu-kyoo-ler.
Like Michael's bodyguard to Fredo in II, Israel is telling Bush,
"If you can't stop this - we will," but Bush loves to kill, so here we go again.

If only we had a different president - one who didn't enjoy murder so much.



"I never had any reaction from him. I raised my concerns about the numbers
  and quality of these Iraqi forces - really right from the beginning."
      -- Paul Bremer, claiming he urged Rummy to bring in more troops, Link



Not every word you read on  bartcop.com  is necessarily factual.

Being primarily a comedy site, we often interpret the code language the fascist dogs use.
That's why you might even see the dreaded "N" word, because as we translate for them,
the truth begins to come out, and the truth about Republicans can be very, very ugly.

This week:

We expect to produce a new  Show.
We have a new computer coming. That will shut us down for a day or two.
    Santa must work for FEMA now, because it was supposed to be a Christmas present.

And a trip report.


Hillary's for the Taking
 Latest polls show GOP sinking fast


(Early December results are in parentheses)

Do you approve the way Bush is handling his job as president?
 Approve, 40 percent (42)
 Disapprove, 59 percent (57)

Do you approve the way Bush is handling the economy?
 Approve, 39 percent (42)
 Disapprove, 59 percent (55)

Do you approve, disapprove or have mixed feelings about the way Congress is handling its job?
 Approve, 34 percent (31)
 Disapprove, 63 percent (65)

If the election was today, would you want to see the Republicans or Democrats run the Congress?
 Republicans, 36 percent
 Democrats, 49 percent

Clearly, the fascist bastards are in trouble and it's getting worse for them.
If the Democrats can avoid suicide, they might pull this off.

What are the odds?


Subject: Doctors

Bart, you wrote:

> I'm flying out of Knuckledrag today to visit some doctors  who believe in science.
> Oklahoma doctors seem to be exclusively "Trust in God" doctors, and I  don't.

It's fine to use MDs you trust, even if you have to travel to see  them.
But don't downplay the power of positive thinking (some folks might call it praying).

ha ha
I'll buy the positive thinking part...

A positive attitude has been shown - scientifically - to improve survival statistics.
A sense of humor has also been shown to help.
John in Milwaukee

Dude, thanks - I have one of those.


 Chapter Thirteen

An elite Republican cabal, led by the Vice President, conspires
to steal the 2008 presidential election. Confronted with devastating
poll numbers from the disasterous Islamic War, it sets in motion
the ultimate October Surprise, a terrorist attack upon the nation.

New Chapter next issue!

Click to Enter


"No matter what the greatest tyrant in the world, the greatest terrorist in the world,
 George W. Bush says, we're here to tell you: Not hundreds, not thousands, but millions
 of the American people...support your revolution."
      --Harry Belafonte, to Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez,   Link


Will Jackgate Destroy the GOP?


It's not a coincidence that Tom DeLay resigned his leadership post days after Abramoff cut a deal
that will require him to tell all. That certainly will entail sharing whatever he knows about DeLay and
DeLay's closest political associates, as well as what he knows about other GOP types like Ralph Reed
and Grover Norquist.   News reports say up to twenty lawmakers and aides are already in the crosshairs.

GOPers have at least two reasons to be scared:

1. The Abramoff inquiry is big.
2. As big as the Abramoff probe is, it could extend far beyond Jack Abramoff and his pals on Capitol HIll and K Street. .


Will Marc Perkel run for Congress?


Carlos's Aunt Elena, 90 years old and no fan of Der Monkey

DeLay becomes GOP's pariah
  Fate taps the most deserving Nazi


Charges of DeLay's involvement in money laundering associated with that state Republican victory in 2002
are unproved, and many campaign finance lawyers consider the Texas case to be weak. But DeLay's name
has also figured prominently in a second ethics probe -- this one in Washington, under the aegis of a federal
task force looking at the links between money and favors associated with the felonious Jack Abramoff.

Abramoff, whom DeLay once termed "one of my closest and dearest friends," pleaded guilty Tuesday to conspiracy,
mail fraud and tax evasion and promised to cooperate with investigators. Michael Scanlon, DeLay's former spokesman,
pleaded guilty Nov. 21 to conspiracy to bribe public officials and likewise promised cooperation. Prosecutors are
meanwhile looking at actions taken by ex-DeLay aides Tony Rudy and Ed Buckham on behalf of Abramoff's clients.
No one knows where these inquiries will lead, and uncertainty is always the enemy of political strength.

Frog march, right into a federal prison - get those cameras ready...


Subject: will the Democrats cave on Alito?


I'm not a poker player, I don't even buy lottery tickets.
As to the question "Is it safe to assume the Democrats will cave on Alito"?
sadly I would bet a coat hanger on it.

Sometimes I wish you were wrong.

Dude, me, too.



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Marty's Entertainment Page

always has good stuff.

Many Ready to Spar With Bill O'Reilly


If Bill O'Reilly truly loves a good fight, then he's had quite a week.

The Fox News whore confrontation with Letterman Tuesday night made for some gripping television.
Dave host told O'Reilly to his face: "I have the feeling about 60 percent of what you say is crap."

That same night, Keith Olbermann named O'Reilly his "Worst Person in the World.,"
That's the 15th time O'Reilly has been named "Worst Person" by Olbermann.


Subject: Hillary

Dumbcop says...

> "Gee, I'm so old, I remember when being 30 points ahead of your nearest challenger (43-14 for Kerry)
>  made you the favorite, but I guess the rules are different on the Democratic Underground Forums "

Duh!! Gee, I'm so old I remember when Bartcop wasn't a sell out repeating weak crap like this to support himself.

Butt Monkey - I'm a bad guy for citing statistics to back up my claims?.

Hillary's ahead because of name recognition only...

Democrats don't recognize Kerry's name?
Which of us is lying to support his claims?

You're willing to say anything to back yourself up.

Yep, I'm a bad guy for citing statistics to back up my claims.

...just one more giveaway you're a whored-out phony.

I have an opinion.
You can agree or you can scream insults like a Monkey - it's your call.

Do you really think anyone who inspires this much loathing in her own party has a chance dumbkopf?

Those who disagree tend to write.
Those who agree say, "He's right," and keep on reading.

What a fool...a lot of us are moving to blogs run by people who get it.

For whom are you speaking?

...not some fraud who gives us his phony fighter pose then supports Hillary

I notice, like the others, you've failed to mention a candidate who could beat her.

we just check you now for more of your hilarious Hillary garbage...you're out of it,

Thanks for making the hit counter spin.
By the way, did you know Bananas have no fat, cholesterol or sodium?




"As President-elect Bush has said, "even the highest morale is eventually undermined by
back-to-back deployments, poor pay, shortages of spare parts and equipment, and declining
readiness....A volunteer military has only two paths.  It can lower its standards to fill its ranks.
Or it can inspire the best and brightest to join and stay."
     -- Rummy,           Link


Musclehead hurt in motorcycle accident


Da Musclehead was riding his motorcycle Sunday with his 12-year-old son, Patrick,
in the sidecar, when a car backed out of a driveway in the Brentwood section,
"The governor was unable to avoid the vehicle in his path and collided with it at a low speed," said a spokesman.

Schwarzenegger and his son, who were wearing helmets, were treated for cuts and bruises
at St. John's Hospital in Santa Monica and released. Musclehead took 15 stitches in his lip.


Subject: Hillary

...okay, here's my disclaimer: I have never taken money from ANY candidiate in regards to my statements.
I have never been approached by ANYONE to post comments or vote one way or the other.

You are wrong when you say that "they really, really hate Hillary on DU forums."
Some people hate her; but there is a very, very persistent, and large group, that love her as much as you do.

And please spare us your lamest sarcasm to date, that we would "sooner vote for Rush or Bush."
You descend into Freeperville with such a weak comeback.

I got another e-mail today saying they'd vote for Cheney over Hillary.
You can say I'm making that up, but I'm not.

Bart, Hillary is the "frontrunner" based on readers of People Magazine, not in polls of people who will actually vote.

I think it would be more accurate to say, "The People Magazine poll is one of many
that show Hillary thirty points ahead of all other challengers."

Democrats who state that the only important thing is saving our country realize that Hillary
will never win the presidency, unless there is a third party candidate a la Perot to split the vote.

Hmmm... what's the expiration date on your crystal ball?

Let's try to back a winner, not someone seen as a pariah not only to Repubs,
but to moderates, and a large portion of Democrats as well.

Who did you have in mind?

And you know damn well why she is seen as a pariah; don't go all
"But you don't state why she is bad, how can I argue with you, Monkey?"
Dozens have written you as to why she is a loser.

That's true, and those who intend to vote for her don't bother to write.

By the way, in accordance with your disclaimer, did you ever declare that you are not on anybody's payroll?

Danno in Illinois
Lovin' Barack
Lovin' Bart

If I'm on somebody's payroll, he, she or they are cheap mothers.


Subject: fuck you, Bart (from a Democrat)

What I wouldn't give to hear my grandfather's slurred speech again.
Maybe you don't know how much it bothered him when he couldn't get a word out or right.

I just figured out what's wrong with the Democratic Party, near constant "foot in mouth disease"
I also understand why you back Hillary, plain stupidity, with the above subject as a high water mark.

Chris Barringer

Dude, you're connecting some wild dots, here.
I stand accused - of having an opinion that differs from yours.

Where do I find the gall?

You should be insulted that Clark ambushed you.
Maybe that's a good sign, that he's healthy enough to pull off a con job.

BTW, I could tell you're a Democrat.


Bush bullies hiding  bartcop.com  from you?

Surf anonymously
by entering bartcop.com at

Author of Bush's Brain Put On No-Fly list
 It's Bush's way of getting petty revenge


I made it a point to arrive very early at the airport. My reservation was confirmed before I left home.
I went to the electronic kiosk and punched in my confirmation number to print out my boarding pass
and luggage tags. Another error message appeared, "Please see agent."

I did. She took my Texas driver's license and punched in the relevant information to her computer system.

"I'm sorry, sir," she said. "You've been placed on the No Fly Watch List."

"Excuse me?"


Democracy's Darkest Days


The dictatorial presidency that supposedly died with Watergate is alive and, if anything, more malignant.
Not even Richard Nixon asserted inherent power to detain people indefinitely in secret prisons or to put them to torture.
Confronted with his own words as evidence that he broke the law, Nixon resigned. Confronted with its own words
that it ignored the law, the Bush administration sets out to jail whoever revealed the truth and, more likely, the journalists
to whom they spoke it.

And to think that Bill Clinton was impeached over a sex scandal.


2006: The Dems' Make-or-Break Year
 Repeat story - different excerpt


- It is time to start calling things by their proper names. Here are some words to add to your vocabulary:

Lying: As opposed to "misleading," "finessing," "not being straight with," etc. The President has lied to the country,
to the Congress, to the media, to the world. Abuse of Power: In addition to drawing useful connections to Watergate
in the minds of voters, this term has the virtue of being absolutely appropriate to the President's actions.

Money Laundering: c.f. Tom DeLay. Bribery applies to those who took money from Jack Abramoff.

Blackmail: As in a Medicare official threatened with loss of job if he tells Congress the true price of the
prescription drug plan, and

Political Retaliation: As in what happened to General Shinseki and Valerie Plame.

Criminal Negligence: As in Brownie, Paul Bremer, Rumsfeld, et. so many al.

As long as we insist on finding polite euphemisms for these things,
the public will assume they are minor infractions, not serious matters.

But the Democrats want to be polite, above all.
They'd rather lose a stolen election than raise a fuss about it.


Subject: Keith Jackson

Hey Bart, you asked

> "Just guessing - does Keith Jackson call all the games for SoCal?"

Answer:  Yes, he does (at least the TV games).  Out here on the West Coast, we see lots
of SoCal games and Jackson does his sportscaster/cheerleader act each and every week.

He was a spectacularly poor choice to do a National broadcast and, for that reason alone,
it was funny to watch Texas win.

But it's still Texas.
Where they like men of both sexes.

Remember that Republican a few months back who said something like,
"It's perfectly normal for a Texas boy to lose his virginity to a cow!  We all did it!"

He was not kidding, either.
Maybe that's why Pickles caught Dubya milking a stallion.

In Oklahoma, we lose our virginity to human females.



"It's like someone inviting you into their house
  and you find out you've been invited by John Wayne Gacy.
     -- Juan Tom Williams, sellout-whore, on Dave "ambushing" O'Reilly

I'm so old I remember when Juan Williams was black - swear to Koresh.
But when Rupert Murdoch got out his wallet, Uncle Tom Williams said,
"Screw those niggers. Rush and our president are exactly right -  if blacks
  weren't so damn lazy and sex-obsessed, they could all be as rich as me."

Tom, former-liberal-turned"Whitey's Boy" for cash, should be ashamed of himself.
"Uncle Tom" isn't strong enough to express my outrage at this slut-bastard.

Juan Tom Williams makes Armstrong Tom Williams look credible by comparison.
For all we know, Armstong Tom was born a white fascist - and has never waivered in his beliefs
But we know Juan Tom was black and converted because the "nigger-hater" side pays better.

Tom, did they really give you that much money, to make you turn white?
Or are you just a whore with a much smaller price than most?


Subject: Hillary and the DU Forums

If you aren't Dean or Clark, they hate you over there.

They also have a very Freeper-like collective attitude that they are right
and everybody else is wrong and only worthy of their scorn.

I don't like echo chambers of any political stripe and that's why I stopped visiting their forum.
Paul in Indiana

Dean gave his word, specifically, that he would not run.
Betting on a horse not in the race is a losing bet.

I hope to see Clark on the Dem's ticket in 2008.


"I'm rich, bee-yotch!"

 Iraq pumps 2,000,000 barrels a day,
(and that was before the 2002 Halliburton Upgrade)
 times today's oil price which is  $64.21 a barrel
makes $128,420,000 Bush stole just yesterday

2187 2206 have died for Halliburton

We lost 19 since the last issue.

Bush's gusher of blood.


Subject: Dick Clark

That took some guts on his part to come out there and be who he is without any shame.

Maybe that jarring disconnect you felt was your own shock because this society hides people different from us.

Maybe that jolt you felt was your consciousness being raised?

All of us can take some trouble to listen to and understand someone's slurred words or watch someone point
to letters on a board with a stick in their mouth because a human being is in there, and Dick Clark is telling us
he is no less than who he is because he met with an illness, part of the risk we all face with being in a body.
It's part of the package.

I didn't see him and now I wish I did.
That took some guts and class on his part, and that's usually something you totally get.

Is it possible to get someone to address the facts in this case?
Is there any way we could make that happen?

Dick Clark sold his coming out - and he did it in a snarky way.

If Dick Clark's motives were pure, why the ambush?
I'll tell you why - because it made him even richer and he's already super-rich

Does having a stroke excuse bad manners?

If you can't forgive me for calling it like it is, if we disagree on the legitimacy of Clark
selling this ambush to us, then that proves that I hate all stroke victims and all sick people?


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The Axis Of Excess


"Three years ago Bush and Blair invaded Iraq on the basis of intelligence reports that turned out to be figments
of an Iraqi expatriate embezzler's fantasy. Today, a similar spiral of 'intelligence' briefings to friendly governments
and planned leaks to the media designed to fuel the public's apprehension has begun again. This time the target is Iran.

Earlier this week, Britain's leading newspaper, The Guardian, got access to an intelligence report compiled from
US, British, French, German and Belgian sources that was used to warn European governments and industrialists
about the existence of a network of Iranian 'front companies, official bodies, academic institutions and middlemen'
to purchase critical components and technology to enrich uranium and build long-range rockets."


Subject: The Educating of Bart, a Public Service...

There's an uber-secret detail within our intelligence apparatus that has a simple task:
They see to it that every person who comes to position of influence in American government,
is compromised, blackmailed and extorted into behaving as told.

Hmmm. sounds like a conspiracy theory...
If it's uber-secret, how did you find out?

To look at this backwards, if someone is a congressman, senator, governor, or higher-up,
then there is a corresponding file somewhere that contains evidence of wrongdoing.
The target is set-up to be videotaped while engaging in disgusting and/or illegal things.

What if they're not guilty of anything big?
*I* can't be blackmailed, and I ain't no saint.

If someone is uncorrupt, they are taken out of the running, by whatever means necessary.
Honest people can't find work in DC. They are completely unqualified to wrestle with these pigs.
This is to say that everyone in power in DC and beyond is corrupt and controlled. That explains a lot, no?
Your idol, Hillary, is not only one of this teams victims, she has at times worked with this team.
Remember Vince Foster?


"My idol" Hillary murdered Vince Foster?
I wonder why Ken Starr didn't put that in his Impeachment Referral?
Do you think he was being too nice to the Clintons?

I think you get better drugs than I do.


Trouble for Katie Holmes?


Tom and Katie were in Toledo over the Christmas holiday, but left early after some sort of verbal
confrontation between Cruise and Katie's father.  Rumors say her Dad spelled out several reasons
why he's opposed to Tom and Katie's relationship, including her pregnancy and Tom's religious insanity.
They say the couple (?) left early, with Katie in tears.  Is the merger off?

Could be career trouble for Tom.
If he dumps the young, star-struck, pregnant child, will his fans forgive him?


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