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 Wednesday  May 10, 2006   Volume 1761 - Banana Dackery

Quote of the Day

"Bag it, Hillary. No one believes you." 
    -- Luci the Bat,    Link

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Failed Intelligence
Who's Crazy Now?
Starr Aide Bastard 
Hayden Aide Scam 
Letter to Richard Cohen 
Iraq and "The Liar" 
DC Whorehouse 
Gold Breaks $700 
Cheryl Tweed 




"We have no better friend in meeting these challenges than our friends in Greece." 
     -- Condi, lying again,  Link


Failed Intelligence Reorganization
  by Ivan Eland as seen on  consortiumnews.com


It is now broadly recognized -- by both Republicans and Democrats -- that the Bush administration bungled 
Katrina in summer 2005 and that the new Department of Homeland Security only compounded the problem 
by hobbling the FEMA with layers of politics, bureaucracy and cronyism.

What's now becoming apparent, following the sudden ouster of CIA Director Porter Goss, is that similar
injections of politics, bureaucracy and cronyism have damaged U.S. intelligence capabilities.

In 2004, George W. Bush's anger over perceived disloyalty within the U.S. intelligence community led him to 
install Goss and a team of political enforcers who then ripped apart the CIA in a search for an anti-Bush "cabal." 
The "cabal" presumably consisted of CIA officers and analysts who had correctly challenged White House 
certainty about Iraq's weapons of mass destruction. 

Note: Consortiumnews.com  is the most important site in the Internet



"We have no better friend than Italy and it is a great pleasure, Gianfranco, to have you here." 
     -- Condi, lying again,  Link


Who's Crazy Now?


Right-wing pundits have consistently questioned the sanity of Bush critics; "It looks as if Al Gore has 
gone off his lithium again," said Charles Krauthammer after Gore gave a sensible if hard-hitting speech. 
Even moderates have tended to dismiss the administration's harsh critics as victims of irrational Bush hatred. 
But now those harsh critics have been vindicated. And it turns out that many of the administration supporters 
can't handle the truth. They won't admit that they built a personality cult around a man who has proved almost 
pathetically unequal to the job. Nor will they admit that opponents of the Iraq war, whom they called traitors 
for warning that invading Iraq was a mistake, have been proved right. So they have taken refuge in the belief 
that a vast conspiracy of America-haters in the media is hiding the good news from the public. 


Starr Aide's Nomination Divisive


As a young lawyer in the mid-1990s, Brett Kavanaugh spent several years working on Ken Starr's 
never-ending witchhunt of  Bill Clinton. In that role, he argued that the White House must open itself 
and its records -- including notes taken by Clinton's attorneys -- for examination by the independent 
counsel and his deputies. But as an advisor to President Bush, Kavanaugh has taken the opposite view, 
zealously defending presidential prerogatives.

Well sure, that's what whores do.
They change their position constantly to please their customers.


Subject: Hillary

Those of us who criticize American policy are accused of being angry, America haters. 
You characterize those who would not like to see Senator Clinton as president of being angry, Hillary haters. 
Silly, both.

My mail tells me the Hillary hatred is very real.
Some readers would rather Bush get another four years if it means no Hillary.
That's the insanity I'm railing against.

I do not hate Senator Clinton; I quite admire her.  But this country has been dragged to the right
for for the last 26 years, and it needs a correction.  I do not think Clinton is the one to do it. 
And, I have my doubts that she could win.

The fact that the country has been dragged to the right tells me a far-lefty can't win.
We're the party that sometimes loses 49 states, remember?
We seem to be experts at losing.
When Hillary inches toward the center, where the voters are, she's demonized.
That's what will kill us in 2008.

Is this not a reasonable position that a reasonable person might hold?

It's not unreasonable to doubt Hillary can win, but like almost all anti-Hillary people,
you have failed to mention who could win. 

I'm one man with an opinion.
And that opinion, as of today, is that the 2008 race boils down to Hillary or more Bush.



"The United States has no better friend than Australia..." 
     -- Condi, lying again,  Link


The Whorehouse in Washington
   by Molly Ivins


If you expect me to pass up a scandal involving poker, hookers and the Watergate building with crooked
defense contractors and the No. 3 guy at the CIA, named Dusty Foggo (Dusty Foggo?! Be still my heart),
you expect too much. Any journalist who claims Hookergate is not a legitimate scandal is dead-has been
for some time and needs to be unplugged. In addition to sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll, Hookergate is rife with
public-interest questions, misfeasance, malfeasance and non-feasance, and many splendid moral points for
the children. Recommended for Sunday school use, grades seven and above.

But for starters, let us consider the unenviable record of Porter Goss at the CIA. From the beginning of his tenure,
Goss has been criticized for politicizing the agency. He brought a bunch of political hacks with him for staff,
one of whom turns out to be the poker player called "Nine Fingers." And in the end, he was probably fired
for not having politicized the agency sufficiently.


Subject: Ten Reasons That Al Gore Will Be the Nominee in @008

Can't even think of one reason for Hillary..

But as we've said in this blog countless times, the Democratic candidate with the best chance
of winning the '08 prize is Gore, plain and simple. Here's our top 10 reasons why:

1. Legislative Experience: two terms in the House, two in the Senate
2. Executive Experience: two terms as vice president
3. Economic Experience: presided over historic seven years of prosperity
4. Iraq: His staunch anti-war stand was early and forceful
5. Environment: His decades of sounding the global warming alarm give him more credibility
6. Family Values: the Gores project strong family values and a sense of morality
7. Passion: Since 2000 he's been the most outspoken critic of Bush and the GOP
8. Results: He won 51-million votes in 2000, more than any other Democrat in history
9. Fundraising: Gore has big, powerful, wealthy benefactors waiting on the sidelines.
    He also has the support of grass-roots organizations like MoveOn.org
10. Skeleton-Free Closet:  If there was any dirt to drudge up, we'd have seen it by now

 Cheryl in New York

Cheryl, saying something "countless times" doesn't make it true.

If Gore wins the nomination, I'll vote for him, but what makes you think he's the best?
You failed to mention his failures, the biggest being that he laid down for Bush in 2000.

Gore paid some woman $10,000 a month to tell him how to dress.
That's worse than having skeltons in his closet.
And if that didn't happen, can you explain why Gore never refuted the charge?

And you say Gore has passion?
Why didn't we see any passion when he was running for the White House?
And what about his political instincts?
Turning his back on Clinton to embrace Lieberman?
Good God, what a screw-up that was.

As far as skeletons, if there are none, the BFEE will manufacture them.
They turned war hero Kerry into a slimy coward - and he just took it.

In 2000, Gore proved he can't fight back - he's got a glass chin.
He promised to fight and fight hard, then he went to sleep.

BTW, has MoveOn.org promised to support the Democratic candidate?

If Gore wins the nomination, I'll vote for him.



Subject: Will the Hillary haters give the BFEE four more years?

or will Hillary be effective enough of a leader to unite the Democratic Party?

Hmmmm, we'll just have to see.


Hmmm, Gore couldn't do it and Kerry couldn't do it.
Too many Democrats wants a "real" lefty, so we end up with a right-wing monster.



"We have no better friend than the United Kingdom, going back in many years." 
      -- Condi, lying again,  Link


Subject: horsehockey

Note my e-mail address.
I have never had anything blocked and I click on more disgusting shit
than you can imagine from my Wackbag connections.



Get your two minutes on BartCop Radio

Bush lovers welcome to call
Spankings are free



"We have no better friend than Jordon, a good friend..."
      -- Condi, lying again,  Link


Subject: The CIA, filled with GOP stooges

As a former intelligence officer, I was certain that the Iraqi WMDs were fake. I have seen the GOP 
run fake intelligence up the flag pole before and fill the CIA with GOP stooges. Of course, when the 
truth came out, Bush called this an intelligence failure. The truth is the Bush administration just decided 
to invade Iraq and simply didn't want to be confused with the facts.

Saddam's foreign minister was a spy for the US and told the CIA there were no WMDs six months prior to 
the invasion. The UN said there were no WMDs. France and Germany warned us invading Iraq was a bad idea.

The Bush administration will be over in 2-1/2 years. I hope President Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld 
are tried in the Hague as war criminals. The Iraq War was articulated by right wing politicians and neocon staffers 
who were Israel  Firsters. There was no intelligence failure, at least on the part of the intelligence agencies.




Gold Breaks $700 Level


Gold surged above $700 an ounce Tuesday a level not reached since 1980   driven by
weakness in the dollar, political tension in the Middle East and Bush's disasterous presidency.

These persistent factors have been pushing gold prices to multi-decade records for months now.
Gold has risen 40 percent since late November and experts know it's just a matter of time nefore
gold breaks the $1000 level, followed by a barrel of oil going to $100 or higher.

High gold prices also pulled mining stocks higher Tuesday. Shares of the BFEE's Barrick Gold Corp.,
the world's largest gold producer, rose 90 cents, or 2.6 percent, to close at $34.87.

Bart's Law #2

Any time a person or entity makes a "mistake" that puts extra money (or power) in their pocket,
expect them to make that "mistake" again and again and again.

The more Bush screws up, the price of gold goes up.
The more Bush screws up, the price of oil goes up.
As Bush's global war heats up, the BFEE gets richer and more soldiers die.



Visit   funnytimes.com

Subject: Hayden is a Felon

Bush's nominee, General Michael Hayden, is not qualified to lead the CIA because he is a felon.
He's the one behind the illegal domestic spying. The law specifically prohibits taping Americans phone lines
without a warrant and like Bush he just ignores the law and does it anyhow.
The man is a criminal and deserves to be in jail, not leading the CIA.

I suppose the government thinks that they are above the law but one of these day the people
are going to rise up and take America back and restore law and order.

Marc Perkel
San Francisco, CA.


The Grand Finale  of "The Brandon & Sean Show"
is tonight.
8 pm to 10 pm Pacific at www.kssu.com .
Go there and click on the "listen live" button.

Iraq and "The Liar"


What is both amazing and appalling about Bush is that he seems not to care. The way things look now, 
he will go down in history as an amiable dunce who took his country to war for reasons that did not exist. 
This is a blunder without peer in American history and possibly an assault on democracy: The people, 
through their representatives, are supposed to make an informed decision about war. It is incredible to me 
that Bill Clinton was impeached for lying about sex, but nobody -- that's nobody -- in the entire Bush 
administration has been fired, not to mention impeached, for this shedding of American blood. Cheney, 
a man of ugly intolerance for dissent, should have been the first to go. His has been a miserable, 
dishonest performance -- which he continues to this day.


Subject: It's your site


I stop in once in a while, just to see how far your head remains inside your posterior.
You lost me last year when you went after the Rolling Stones.

That's an odd reason to stop reading a political humor page

As far as your head and your bottom side, here is what I have seen lately:

1. You continue to imply that our government was responsible for the WTC collapse.

I have not taken that position.
All we know for sure is that Bush doesn't want the truth of 9-11 to come out..

2. Today, you admitted that you have never played guitar, yet you are an expert on who are the World's top five guitar players?

I have my favorites, like everyone.
If you prefer Keith to Jimmy Page, that doesn't mean we have to be enemies.

3. When Dick Clark gets up and does a show, after his illness, you go off on Dick for being a con artist and a loser.

In my opinion, he whored his illness to make more money, even tho he's filthy rich.
Can you show me where I'm wrong?.

4. You continue to go after Tiger Woods. 

I don't like the guy. Apparently you do.
Again, that's no reason to be enemies.

Keep up the good work - you look more like a fool everytime I check your site.
Bob in San Diego

I don't like Ted Nugent or Tom Cruise, either.
Sue me.


The net's best advertising deal

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Hayden Aide Assisted in 2nd MZM Donor Scam

        Harriet Meyers with pants?


In addition to faking $8,000 in personal contributions to Rep. Katherine Harris (R-FL) on his company's behalf, 
government records indicate King faked several thousand dollars in donations to Rep. Virgil Goode (R-VA), also.

How did Paul discern King's donations were part of the scam? King and his wife, Jeneane, each made two 
$2,000 contributions to Goode on March 24, 2003, according to FEC records compiled by opensecrets.org. 

In Wade's plea agreement with federal prosecutors, he admits that on that same date, two "straw donors" 
gave to Goode $4,000 apiece, and one straw donor gave $2,000, at Wade's request.

A review of FEC records shows that no other donors connected to MZM gave to Goode in those quantities on that date.


About 45 days to go...


"We have no better friend than Japan." 
          -- Condi, lying again,  Link


Subject: don't you get it yet

There is no difference between the "two" parties
Vote Libertarian.


Mark, you want four more years of the BFEE?


Subject: buzzflash anniversary

They hate Hillary too.


Alto, wrong again.
I called Mr. Buzzflash (he's my good friend) and he said
Buzzflash hasn't taken a position for or against Hillary.

He said recently they ran an anti-Hillary piece by Jeff Cohen,
but they're just as likely to run a pro-Hillary piece tomorrow.

Dude, when's the last time you were right about something?


Battling Quotes

"We don't create enemies and terrorists by fighting back. 
  We defeat the terrorists by fighting back." 
    -- Der Monkey, during the 2004 presidential campaign,  Link

"For every insurgent that I kill, I create almost 10 more." 
     -- Lt. Gen. Peter Chiarelli, the U.S. commander in charge in Iraq,   Link


An Open Letter to Richard Cohen
 by William Rivers Pitt


I agree with your belief that it wasn't your opinion on his performance that motivated such an angry response.

It wasn't. You yourself nailed the reason: "Institution after institution failed America - the presidency, Congress
and the press. They all endorsed a war to rid Iraq of what it did not have."

The fact that your Colbert commentary became the flint against this rock doesn't mean that Colbert, or your
opinion of him, is to blame for the resulting firestorm. The fact is that people are angry - brain-boilingly,
apoplectically, mind-bendingly so - at what has happened to this great country.



Marty's Entertainment Page

always has good stuff.

Ralph Reed and Jack Abramoff


The DNC went to federal court Monday to obtain White House logs that show the comings and goings 
of prominent Republicans with ties to Jack Abramoff, including Ralph Reed.  Howard Dean said the 
lawsuit was necessary because of what he called 'stonewalling' by Bush...  Democrats said they included 
Reed, who worked with Abramoff on a number of projects and is now a candidate for lieutenant governor
in Georgia, on their list because of Reed's close friendship with presidential adviser Karl Rove.


Subject: Hillary

Hi Bart, I love your site.
I have told you once before but I will tell you again,
Hillary cannot win the election because she can't win in the South.

If she is the nominee she will get my vote, but she can't win down here in alabama,
we are worse that okie.  We need Wes Clark or someone like him to win.

frankie fontaine


Immigration Policy

I don't have one - so let's debate.
But for once, can we delete the personal insults? Just for once?

My first impression is that a wall isn't a bad idea.
Christ, you have to pass thru "a wall" to get into Wal-Mart,
why would checking IDs at the border be a bad thing?

Help Bart form a policy on immigration.

Don't send me War and Peace.
Don't send me a list of links.
Distill the issue into a sentence or paragraph that doesn't make me laugh

Since I know everything and have never been wrong,
(my ego is bigger than the Milky Way)
together we'll create a position that everyone can agree on.

 I have an opinion, Bart!

Subject: Guns


Went to a gun show over the weekend with my son.  I have to admit I've never seen so many people
walking about with serious looking weaponry (shotguns, handguns, knives, blowguns) - and everyone was so polite.
Bump into someone by mistake and an apology had better be forthcoming right quick...

In any case, I am a firm believer of the Second Amendment for a couple of reasons:
Home defense/self-protection, and I'd rather have a weapon and not need it than to need it and not have it.

I recommend periodic attendance at one of these events to get an idea
what other people in our communities are packing.


Mick, you haven't been to a gun show until you go to one in K-Drag.



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 Iraq pumps 2,000,000 barrels a day,
(and that was before the 2002 Halliburton Upgrade)
 times today's oil price which is $72.13 a barrel
makes $144,260,000 Bush stole just yesterday

...add to that, Iran pumps FOUR M barrels a day.

Once the sick bastard invades, that's 6 M barrels a day
times today's oil price which is  $72.13 a barrel
makes $432,780,000 dollars Bush will steal daily

No wonder they were so eager to start a war

...and what did it cost us?

2417  2428 soldiers


Stones deny Keith has Brain Damage 


The Stones' publicist, Fran Curtis, issued a statement denying a report that Richards, 
had undergone two surgeries since his accident and that doctors were concerned about brain damage.

"Keith Richards did not undergo a second operation. The first and only operation was done on Monday 
and was 100 percent successful," the band's statement said. "There was no brain damage."


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