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Tues-Wed Sept 5-6, 2006   Vol 1832 - Smoke-out

Quote of the Day

"Anyone who is not a sadist or an idiot is anti-war."
    -- Thomas Sowell, calling Bush a sadist,  Link

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
US Press - how Obtuse?
Croc Hunter killed
Stop the Spying 
Category Five Failures 
Nicotine Up Sharply 
SLC mayor vs Bush 
O'Reilly Psychotic Dick 
"Desperate" Sex on Web
Charlize Theron's Battle


Bush Blew a Guy



"In the coming days, I'll deliver a series of speeches describing the nature of 
  our enemy in the war on terror and our strategy to prevail in this long war."  
       -- Dubya,   Link

"We have a strategy?   Really?!? 
  Could we start using it?"  
       --Christy Hardin Smith,    Link

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In Tulsa, tonight (Tuesday) at 7 PM,
PBS is airing, "Why did the 9-11 buildings fall?"

Maybe your city is getting it, too.

How Obtuse Is the U.S. Press?
 by Robert Parry

The Washington press corps is swinging into full backlash mode, whipping anyone who challenged
how the White House handled the smearing of  Joe Wilson and the outing of his CIA wife. Seizing on 
a new disclosure putting blame on a senior State Department official, the Washington Post and the 
New York Times have rallied to Bush's defense -- despite reams of evidence that Bush and his aides 
were behind the anti-Wilson operation. Which raises the old "Shawshank Redemption" question: 
"How can you be so obtuse?" 

Note:  is the most important site on the internet

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Used with permission

Croc Hunter killed by Stingray

I heard about it on the CBS Evening News.
They were being cute and not getting to the point, 
leaving the viewer to wonder which animal finally got him.  

Odd that he'd die from a one-in-a-million spear from a stingray.

I think I wrote about seeing him hunt for rattlesnakes in Arizona.
He'd run up to some rocks and spot a hole, look at the camera and say,
"I'll bet there's a rattlesnake hiding in there," and then he'd stick
his face thru the hole to find out - you don't get many like that.

I liked the guy.
His wonder for animals was child-like.

To quote an old Del Castillo song from the 80s,
"Life's a bitch but you can't let that get you down."

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Category Five Failures
  by Maxine Waters

The federal government's failure began with the failure to prepare...While women and children 
baked and starved in the Superdome, buses sat unused. While elderly patients died in nursing 
homes, brave firefighters who had responded from every corner of the nation to help with 
rescue were held in Atlanta for training in community relations. And now we are failing to rebuild. 
President Bush said "we will do what it takes." But his Housing secretary says that "only the best 
residents should return" and he predicts that the 'New Orleans is not going to be as black as it was
for a long time, if ever.'  We don't need both ears to hear what the administration thinks of those
black former residents - at least the ones who survived the callous disregard after the storm.

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Subject: Saddam and 9-11

Hey Bart,

On September 11, 2001, I was in Scotland.  We turned on the TV and saw the photos and 
the WTC buildings collapsing.  We were, of course, freaked out.  We read all of the papers 
that we could get our hands on - both Scottish and English papers (and later, Irish papers).  

I remember, very distinctly, that Saddam was quoted in these papers as condemning the
attacks on the WTC.

When we got back to the US, I looked at the US papers.  I could not find Saddam's 
condemnation in the papers I looked at - mainly the Washington Post.  

Does anyone remember seeing Saddam quoted in a US paper?  
I'd be very curious.
 Mary Beth

I don't remember that, but it was a damn busy day here - I could've missed it.

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"It is hard to spot any leadership that is both sane and competent." 
      -- Tony Blankley, excusing Bush's failures,     Link

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Subject: when monkeys speak

I just watched the chimp-in-charge speak. 
Was it me or did he say "infidelity" instead of "infidels" twice? 

As in;"It's infidelity vs. Islam.."  

Twice man!... This is embarassing ...

yr. pal,

No doubt - he is a monkey in a man suit.

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Action Alert
National Call-In to Stop the Surveillance Bills!

Congress returns from recess this week, and EFF is joining a coalition of organizations for a two week 
national call-in to stop the dangerous NSA spying bills. Visit our Action Center to call your members of 
Congress now, and spread the word to friends and family about these bills. Let's keep the phones ringing 
in the Congressional halls for two weeks straight!

Senator Arlen Specter is still rushing to pass his surveillance bill, which would help the government and 
the NSA continue to break the law by spying on ordinary Americans. He's planning a committee vote 
this Thursday, and a vote by the entire Senate as early as next week. Meanwhile, Senator Mike DeWine 
has proposed a bill that would attempt to retroactively legalize the NSA dragnet surveillance.

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Subject: FDNY 'actor'

Bart - I also read that Bob Beckwith gave an interview where he 
expressed his disgust w/Bush & how he felt he'd been used by him.

 Monica F

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Subject: Air America firings

I feel like I need to copy and archive ALL radio shows on Air America Radio 
since you never know when the ax will fall or who will be the next victim.
I still have the last week of Morning Sedition with Marc Maron and Mark Riley (RIP)
and the last few weeks of The Marc Maron Show (RIP). Janeane Garofalo gone. 
Sam moved to mornings. I'll need to quickly copy the latest Mike Malloy shows 
and play them for my grandchildren a few years from now: "This is what free speech 
sounded like on the radio way back when the United States used to have it..."
Keep hammering while you can,
Sharon in Minnesota

Sharon, you can get Mike's old shows at

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The net's best advertising deal

 advertise on


"The death of any soldier is a heartfelt tragedy. The last thing that we would
  want to do is cover it up. Anytime there is a death we investigate the 
  circumstances around it and look at lessons learned."  
     -- Col. Dan Baggio, Army spokesman at the Pentagon,    Link

"The  coverup of Pat Tillman's death was even worse than previously reported. 
  As more facts emerge, the lies and bullshit of the Pentagon come into sharper focus. 
  The Washington Post is now reporting that the Pentagon hid the truth from his family
  until weeks after the Bush regime had milked the tragedy for all the p.r. it could get."  
      --Ward Harkavy,

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Subject: how's that hex going?

Hey Bart,
Just curious, how's the ol' hex on Tiger going?

Dude, I'm not the enemy.
The facts are, simply, the facts.

Eldrick's coming out of a 4 year slump.

I know it.
You know it
Eldrick knows it..
The American people know it.
Bob Dole knows it.
Everybody knows it.

Yes, he won that Douche tourney and a few others lately.
If Eldrick was really God in checkered pants 
he'd win every tournament by 20 strokes.

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Nicotine Up Sharply In Cigarettes
 They want to hook you stronger, faster


The amount of nicotine in most cigarettes rose an average of almost 10 percent from 1998 to 2004,
with brands most popular with young people and minorities registering the biggest increases and 
highest nicotine content, according to a new study. Nicotine is highly addictive, and while no one
has studied the effect of the increases on smokers, the higher levels theoretically could make new 
smokers more easily addicted and make it harder for established smokers to quit.

The killers of 400,000 people a year have friends in the White House and in congress.
That's why they're beefing up their poison to make it stronger.

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Subject: from Southwest Airlines

Dear Bart,

Congratulations on Earning an Award!

A roundtrip Award has been deposited into your Rapid Rewards account,
which means you can travel for free to anywhere you can fly on Southwest Airlines!

Southwest, thanks for that.
We often use your free airfare to go to Las Vegas.

I kinda play some poker as a sideline to my daily sheep-shearing job,
so our trips to Las Vegas are often a better-than-free value.

My blog has dozens of readers, and I've told them about the free trips you offer,
but as far as I know, only  thehollywoodliberal  has taken advantage of it.

Free airfare to places like Las Vegas,

...and people don't sign up?

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"Bush returned to New Orleans on August 29 to do a couple of lame, bogus photo ops 
  to say that New Orleans is being rebuilt, that it's on the way back. Do not believe this. 
  Much of New Orleans looks like it did the day after Katrina hit." 
       --Spike Lee, on Der Murder Monkey,   Link

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Subject: Malloy

Dear AAR--

The firing of Mike Malloy was uncalled for and outrageous. 
We listeners deserve an up-front explanation for this action. 
Please do not pull a Bush Admin. move by stonewalling us.

  John in Oakland

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Salt Lake City mayor Blasts Bush

It's a video.

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Also from Salt Lake - from last issue   Subject: WPE sighting

Hey Bart, here's a WPE sighting from the anti-Bush protest in Salt Lake City on Wednesday 8/30. 
 There were plenty of eccentrics at the anti-war rally, but none 
stranger than the middle-age guy wearing only a see-through chain-link vest and tighty-whitey underpants. 

When asked what fashion statement he was making the man bent over to display his briefs, 
which were stenciled with Bush's face and the words 'WORST PRESIDENT EVER!' "


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Galloway gives 'em hell

Subject: today's Smothers Brothers

About a month after Stephen Colbert's superb roast of der Monkey at  the White House
correspondent's dinner (Apr 29, 06) my wife, Vivian and I were at a restaurant in the
Sonoma Valley. The restaurant is  near to where Tommy Smothers lives and owns a winery.
We locals know this but that evening Tommy was the last person I expected to see  being seated
at the outdoor table next to us. It was prom night at  the local high schools and we we all having
a good time watching the  eager teens pull up in their limousines dressed to kill for their  prom night dinners.

When I got the chance I asked Tommy if he had seen Colbert's Bush roast and what he thought of it.
He said he'd only heard about it and  was looking forward to seeing it. He expressed his admiration for
Colbert's courage and said he wondered if back in the day the Smothers Brothers would have shown
the same kind of courage given the  same opportunity.

Your article reminded me just how far up the Smothers' noses the CBS  censor pigs were.
For those of us who saw their show (I'm old too) we  realized that Tommy and Dickie had to
really make their opinions  extremely tongue in cheek. They did their best to sneak their political
statements past the Nixon CBS machine. I told Tommy  everyone knew where they stood despite
the muzzling.Tommy could do that with one of his looks. Of course they got shitcanned for it.

As for your question, "Where is today's Smothers Brothers?"
Tommy's wondering the same thing back in 2002.

As for your 2nd question, "Do the kids know their story?"
None of the kids arriving in their limos gave Tommy a second glance
and we both agreed they were all looking forward to getting laid later that evening.

Stevie G in Santa Rosa

Stevie, thanks for that.
The Smothers Brothers don't need to question if they had the courage.
Giving up the Number One TV show in America for a principal speaks for itself.

To the Smothers Brothers

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My good friend Jeff Cohen has a book out.
Click  to  Order

Blame 9/11 on Airlines, Congress, Bush


The fifth anniversary of 9-11 is coming up. It should be a time of national disgrace and shame. 
It never should have happened. Americans have been so busy for the past five years in the search 
for revenge that they have not bothered to ask why it happened and not asked seriously who was 
responsible for it. Why was a ragtag band of religious fanatics able to humiliate this country? 

What did we do wrong? 
Until we admit our shame, we will not be able to avoid another such national ignominy.

Remember the James Woods factor.
He rode on a jet with Atta and his happy handjobs on a practice run.
He told the stewardess, "Those guys are going to hijack this plane."

The stewardess told the Captain and he wired the FBI in LA.
They had their names - they knew who they were ...and let them go.


WOODS:  So I'm saying this because I really have reason to believe it's true.  
I found out later that not only was -- did he make a report, but the flight attendant 
also made a report of my suspicions to the FAA.

But the FAA just sat on it.

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Get t-shirts Here

Subject: Mike Malloy hates white people?

About Mike Malloy's sudden and shocking firing from Air America, I have a theory.
Could it have anything to do with the FACT that he constantly bashed white people on his program?

I listened to Malloy's show everyday, and he ALWAYS put Caucasian people down.
I've never understood why.
Everybody who ever gave him employment in the radio business was white.

Most of his listeners were white.
His wife and children are all white!

Exactly what was his big beef against white people?
I don't know why he couldn't just stick to what he did best,
which is tell the truth about the Bush Crime Family instead of
bitching and moaning about how horrible all white people are.

He didn't seem to give a shit that he might be alienating the very people
he needed to keep him employed - his white listeners and his white employers.

If Malloy was fired because AAR finally got fed up with his prejudice and hatred of white people,
then I think that is a very good reason for him to get terminated. Perhaps he will learn his lesson
from now on and realize how very stupid it is to bite the hand that feeds your ass.

(lost the author's name)

I sent that to Mike - asked him why he hates white people.
His reply, swear to Koresh:

"Because they're too spooky looking."
  - MM

 ha ha

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Marty's Entertainment Page

always has good stuff.

Click on the E!

Subject: Kyra Phillip's open mic

Dear Bart,
I worked in radio as an announcer for 4 years, six days a week at least. 
There was a golden, golden, golden rule...
When there is a MIC nearby  YOU SHUT UP.
Don't trust the red lights, bulbs burn out unexpectedly.
And that is why I always suspected that Reagan's 
"We begin bombing in five minutes" slip-up was willful, by the way.

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"We face an enemy that has an ideology; they believe things. 
  They think the opposite of the way we think."  
      --Dubya, too stupid to make sense,    Link

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Bill O'Reilly: Profile of a Psychotic Dick


 It's a video

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 Iraq pumped 3.5M barrels daily before Bush invaded
 and then they got their 2003 Halliburton upgrade

Bush's oil gouge, which is going to $100a barrel
makes $350,000,000 Bush will steal every day.

No wonder they were so eager to start a war,

stealing  $350,000,000  every day.

It's the biggest theft in Earth's history
and it continues every day while soldiers die.

Bush's "Bring 'em on" death taunt is up to...

2653....2657 American victims

FOUR more Bush victims since last issue.


By Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween, Bush will have killed
more Americans than his old partner Osama.

Shotglass News
A load of shotglasses went out Monday.
If you ordered shotglasses and don't
have them by Friday 8th let us know.

September Special 

Subscribe or Renew your subscription for a Year in Advance
via credit card or PayPal and get TWO shotglasses or ONE of our t-shirts free.
Snail mail works too, details below.

Free shotglasses - free shirts!

           Official Bartcop Chinaco Anejo shotglasses
           Photography by Andrew Estes

These shotglasses are sweet.
In a room with many lights, they sparkle like a fine diamond.

"These glasses really do shine in broad light," says the photographer.

We located the highest quality shotglasses available on the web.
The gold is real gold.

You can get a set of four for just $35.
If you just need two, get them for just $25.

 Get Chinaco shotglasses Here We take credit cards

 Of course, PayPal still works too. 

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"Desperate" Sex Hits YouTube


ABC is calling foul after a sex scene from the upcoming season of Desperate Housewives
was leaked on YouTube, nearly a month before the steamy footage was scheduled to air.

The scene features Bree (Marcia Cross) and new boy-toy Orson (Kyle MacLachlan) in bed,
with the underwear-clad housewife protesting her partner's attempt to give her oral sex.

"I don't do that," she says. "I'm a Republican."

"I'm a Libertarian," Orson replies. "I believe in minimizing the role of the state
and maximizing individual rights. Trust me, I know what I'm doing."

Republicans can't enjoy sex, so they resort to murder and invading helpless countries for thrills.
I think Americans needs fewer murders, less invasions and more sex.

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Subject: Creepy Des Moines kidnapping



It's a creepy video.

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Poker Humor
 by Barry Greenstein

How can you tell when Daniel Negraneu has a straight?

The board pairs.

By leaps & bounds, the best poker on TV is "High Stakes Poker"
seen Mondays on the Game Show channel.

It's the best players in the world with the best poker analyst - go figure
- Gabe Kaplan from "Welcome Back Kotter."
He is by far, the best poker analyst and the most entertaining.

Gotta give the World Poker Tour dudes props for popularizing poker with 
the invention of the secret cam that tells you in real time who's bluffing.
When they talk "poker boom" they're talking about the WPT.

What the joke means:
Poor Daniel Negraneu.
They estimated the odds at 2000-to-1.

Five times in a row, Daniel got a GREAT poker hand,
only to lose to a phenominal, can't-happen hand like 4-of-a-kind.

This is a real cash poker game.
This one pot was $235,000, and Daniel played it right and lost.

Poker is the only game/sport where you can do everything right and lose.
but you can also do everything wrong and win millions of dollars.

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Subject: Mike Malloy


Q: Why'd they fire Malloy?
A: So they could make room for more mindless babble like the Satellite Sisters.

Months ago, when they replaced Malloy with those sisters I sent emails to AAR, 

I only received one response, and it went like this: 
"We have nothing against Mr. Malloy - this was strictly a business decision."

In the NYC market they replaced Malloy with the Satellite Sisters, 
AND they RE-RUN them on weekends too! What are they thinking?!


I wish we could get a straight answer.
Are they going broke - and HAD TO fire him?

Or at AAR, are they just greedy like oil men?

I read a lot of comments at Demo-underground and many of them said,
"What's next? You going to fire Randi, too?"

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Party at the Palms, Sept 16
 A few tickets are still available!

 No new updates

Nothing to do now except let your mouth water...

On Mexican Independence day, we're going to enjoy tequila.


Remember - you need a number to get in.
When we run out of numbers, we're full.

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Charlize Theron's 'Battle in Seattle'



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