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WELCOME TO BARTCOP.COM A modem, a smart mouth and the truthNews and Commentary NOT Approved by Karl Rove, bcause vicious extremists can NOT be appeased.


Weekend   Oct 28-30, 2006  Vol 1866 - Tick Tock, Monkey

by Bruce Yurgil

Quote of the Day

"We had a $400 billion dollar surplus 
  when Bush took office. We now are 
  suffering under a staggering deficit. 
  Had enough?" 
    --John Aravosis,   Link

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Orig Oct Surprise III 
Middle class leaves GOP 
GOP Eats Itself 
Mexico to privatize oil? 
Online Poker is Alive 
U2 and Madonna 
Negative Nauseam 
Random thought... 
Winona Ryder at 35




"The best news in the field.'


"More sacrifice is going to be required. We will either create a world in which our children 
  and our grandchildren have a hope of an optimistic future or we will leave to them a world 
  with a hateful empire centered in the Middle East." 
     --Karl Rove, military strategist,  Link

"Karl Rove has had too much of his own Kool-Aid. 
  He's starting to believe his own message. 
  It's their war. It's their mess." 
     --Joe Wineke, chairman of the Wisconsin Democratic Party,   Link

OR,  the greedy Bush crime family could stop creating wars in the Middle East to steal their oil.
Maybe they wouldn't hate us so much if we just stopped killing them for sport.

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Original October Surprise (Part 3)
 OR, 'How we got in this quagmire in the first place'
    by Robert Parry

There are few threats to a democracy more serious than the possibility that the nation's intelligence 
services would abuse their extraordinary powers and secretly influence the election of the nation's 
leadership, in effect turning their clandestine skills for manipulating overseas events on their own country.

That is why Congress and Presidents have barred the CIA since its founding in 1947 from operating 
domestically. It also explains why the core questions of the 1980 October Surprise case remain a 
sensitive mystery even today:

Did disgruntled CIA officers conspire with their former boss, George H.W. Bush, to exploit the Iranian 
hostage crisis in 1980 to defeat President Jimmy Carter whose policies had infuriated many CIA veterans? 
Did that secret CIA operation change the course of American politics, paving the way for a quarter century
of Republican dominance?

Why don't those hostages mind that they were kept additional months to help Bush steal power?
Have you ever heard one of them complain?

Plus, was it a coincidence that Reagan was shot right after taking office?
Who would've gained the most from Reagan's murder?

And before you tell me to "get real," how real is the fact that the BFEE 
now controls the entire planet and they are militarily unstoppable?

Note: is the most important site on the internet

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Used with permission


"I've been asked by the president to not get involved in politics. He wants Defense 
  to stay separate from politics.   He has specifically asked that I do my job and that 
  he'll go out and carry that message to the American people on that subject of politics." 
      --Donald Rumsfeld, lying again,   Link

 Hey Rummy - are you running this war or is Karl Rove?

 "I control the military.
  They answer to me!"

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Middle class leaves GOP


Less than two weeks before the election, the latest Whore AP poll found that likely voters
overwhelmingly prefer Democrats over Republicans. They are angry at Bush and the Fascists Congress
and thay list Iraq and the economy are their top issues and middle-class voters are fleeing the GOP.

I'll vote for Happy the Clown, just so it's not who's there now," said Mary Nyilas, 51, from N.J.
She said she would do everything she could to "vote against the powers that put us in Iraq."

Democrats say history is on their side.  "Every decade, the American people get angry at Washington
for the course they've chosen and the results of that course," said Rep. Rahm Emanuel, House Democrat.

But, but, but in 1994, dems were "caught" bouncing checks at a private bank and trying to fix
health care.  Today, these thug, Fascist bastards have killed 3000 (minimum) soldiers and drained
the Treasury and let whore lobbyists re-write pollution laws and banking laws - and on and on.

Are those two situations equal?

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"I was surprised when she came out swinging on Friday, 
  and I was surprised at her sniping at my patriotism." 
      --Wolf Blitzer, CNN's Uber-whore and official Bush ass-kisser,  Link

"Well, Wolf - you, along with most of the media, have acquiesed to this administration 
  for so long, it should have been no surprise that Ms. Cheney would sharpen her claws 
  on anyone who suddenly started asking challenging questions that give the viewer a 
  broader perspective of the current regime." 
    -- Tigris+Lily,    Link

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Subject: stay the course?

Hey Bart,
If we are not going to "stay the course" anymore,
why don't we just get the hell out of there?!?!?!

Buff1, he's lying - we are staying the course.
They're stealing $300M a day saying "Just six more months..."

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Negative ad Nauseam

"Democrats coddle rapists! They want to Taser schoolgirls! They "pay for sex, not soldiers!" 
Welcome to the final days of a desperate Republican campaign to keep control of Congress.

With few political accomplishments to run on - Social Security and immigration reform fizzled
- and the hugely unpopular Iraq war dragging them down, Republicans are resorting to 
unleashing a mountain of mud on the challengers trying to unseat them.

"When you've got nothing to say, attack," said Ken Sherrill. 
"If you can't win by raising your own positives, you have to raise your opponent's negatives." 

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Mexico to privatize oil?
 No wonder Bush wanted Calderon to win

Mexico's president-elect Felipe Calderón may be forced to consider putting more power in private hands.
The revenues from Mexico's flagship oil company Pemex cover one-third of Mexico's budget.

But prosperity from years of record oil prices has allowed Mexico to postpone what most  Bushies agree are
much-needed reforms. And now, as production at Pemex's top oil field declines, pressure to find new fields
is mounting. But industry analysts The BFEE say Mexico's constitutional restriction on foreign direct investment
will hamstring costly exploration efforts, and possibly disrupt the flow of oil, 80 percent of which heads to the US.

Indeed, with his fragile political mandate, Mr. Calderón may find
that oil becomes the issue that will define his presidency.

Wow - what are the odds?
Bush will steal Mexico's oil and give Calderon a seat at Carlyle...or just kill him and save the money.

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Get t-shirts Here


Halloween Special - Four for $*0
(Must be shipped to same address)

We have a few shot glasses left.

Subject: So...

Let me get this straight.
It's okay to criticize Nancy Pelosi, when she's running to retain her office at a time when
we're desperate to win back congress.  And Nancy Pelosi stands to be the first ever female
Speaker of the House, and President if we can impeach Monkey and Darth.

On the other hand, it's bad politics to criticize Hillary Clinton while she's hiding behind
her tutu, because she might run for President in two years.

No, Monkey, how did you get from A to B without hurting yourself?
In a feeble (yet cute for a monkey) way, you pretend all things are the same.

If She starts bragging about all the ststes she's going to win
and what color drapes she'll hang in the Oval Office, go after her.

And did I ask Democrats to "stop criticizing" her?
I recall asking Democrats to stop back-stabbing her with lies.
I recall asking Democrats to contribute something more than
"She thinks she's so smart," and "Who does she think she is?"

Dude, can I get you some Bactine for your knuckles?

Your hypocrisy is reaching previously unimagined bounds.

No, my consistency is remarkably consistent.
When She starts bragging about her victories that haven't happened yet,
I'll remain silent and let you verbally pummel her for days.

I have no problem criticizing either of them when I think they deserve it.
Your "Hands Off Hillary" Doctrine is just as ridiculous as your
"Torture Whenever an Episode of '24' Breaks Out" Doctrine.
  Jimmy the K-Y

So that's why you wrote - so you could get tortured again?
When you beg for it, it's called "being a sadist."

Jimmy, you don't come here for an education.
You come here to get a Size 12 leather boot in the ass?

How do you get everything backwards?
I want Pelosi to stop crowing about her "big victory" until (if) it happens.

Are you really a lawyer?

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Wes Clark for Ned Lamont

Subject:  From Vol 1864 - muhr?

Bart, I know you claim an IQ of 64 or so, but what the hell is muhr?
Surely you meant to write myrrh.

Dontcha have spell-check?

GB, Lebanese muhr is a type of really good hash we used to get.

It tasted like really good flowers that were sealed in an charred oak barrel
for years with mangoes, papaya, baked apples and wildflowers - yum!

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November Special

Tulsa is enduring a Chinaco Anejo shortage - this will not do.
They say the Okie distributor doesn't have any to sell.

We topok an unexpected trip to Dallas Saturday. While I was there,
I looked for some Chinaco Anejo. I found some, but they wanted $62 a bottle.

Chinaco Anejo is worth $62 a bottle, (that's just $2 a shot -cheap
but I refuse to pay $62 for something that's been costing me $34 for years.

However, if you come across a bottle of Chinaco Anejo and send it to me,
I will fix you up with a year of BCR membership - a $120 value.

If you're interested in this offer, remember three things:
The bottle must look like this

  or like this

It must be Chinaco Anejo - the silver and reposado is for sterilizing doctors tools only,
It must arrive unbroken :)

So, if you'd like to get a year of BCR for this incredibly low price,
check your local spirits stores and good times are coming your way.

Last thing - 2 bottles will get you 2 years, 3 bottles will get 3 years etc.

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My Election Prediction

BartCop, howsz about having a contest predicting the election?

Here's mine-

Senator Macaca squeeks by, confirming Va. as one of the most racist states.
Dems manage +3 Senate seats, after Karl has "fixed" three.

Karl gets careless, and Dems pick up +16 House seats.
Repubs immediately challenge results.
 John in Oakland

John, great idea.
Send your entries in - winner gets a pound of South's Finest Chocolate!

 Send in your predictions - win SF Chocolate!!

Depending on the celebration (or drowning or sorrows)
winner may not be named until Thursday, Nov 9.

PS. We need for Fascist-man-on-dog Rick Santorum to lose.

 Send in your predictions - win SF Chocolate!!
 Discuss it on the Bartcop Forum


"Wish my brothers were here."
     - sign seen at the World Series finale. His brothers are Iraq?

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Online Poker is dead?
 Not if you do it right

Instructions for Bartcoppers.

1. Click the Full Tilt banner (easy)
2. Download and install the software (easy)
3. Create a new account and use the bonus code 'friendofbart' (easy)
4. Fund the account. The tournament buyin will be $5.50 (cheap)
5. Email the tournament organizer for the password,
    Be sure to include your new account name when you e-mail
6. Register for the tournament and meet Bart at the tables on Nov 1st at 9pm Eastern.
7. It wouldn't hurt to show up early and get a feel for the place. Look for 'bartcop"
8. I will post the password to get in right here a few minutes before the game.

If we can get everything working, we'll even offer a $25 "bounty" if you're the player
who can knock out Ol' Bart, but that may have to wait for Tourney 2, 3 or 4.

It only took me 10 minutes to get signed up.
They wouldn't take my credit card, but they took my bank account info.

Let's party while we can.

So, anybody play poker?

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 Want to trade links?

The link page is bigger than ever,
thanks to Chicago Jim

Send e-mail to Bart

Put "Link me" in the subject header.
Maybe mention what section you belong in - news, humor, etc

Your link will be seen by dozens

Legally, too, thanks to the Democrats.

"We serve at the pleasure of the President"

Why Conservatives Balk at GOP
  by William Frey, M.D.

Why are Republican conservatives calling for an end to One Party GOP Rule?
Why are many now discussing the virtues of divided government?
On what basis do they believe One Party Rule has dishonored conservative values?

The seven prominent Republican conservatives who contributed to the Washington Monthly 
remarkable feature article, "Time for Us to Go: Conservatives on Why the GOP Should Lose in 2006," 
did not dwell on contrived wedge issues promoted  by Republican marketing consultants. 

They focused, instead, on the neglected limited government ideals on which the conservative movement was founded:
individual freedom,
fiscal responsibility, 
constitutional restraints on unchecked executive power, 
prudent and principled foreign policy. 

Why do these conservatives believe today's Republican Party has betrayed these values?

Note: is the most important site on the internet

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Subject: Pickles


Why is there no outcry about Pickles smashing into her boyfriend 
and killing him after they just broke up that morning? 

Is this any different from the Chappiquidic affair? 
Killing is killing in my book.

Two reasons:
The American whore press hardly ever covers GOP crimes/affairs etc.
That's how Newt was able to keep his affair quiet for years.
That's how Bush has committed hundreds of crimes - off the record.

Second, the Dems are "too polite" to mention affairs and crimes.
They only want to win if they can win "fairly."

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The net's best advertising deal

 advertise on

Mike Malloy Returns TONITE - 9 PM Eastern  has more details.

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Subject: Jennifer Love Hewitt Bartcop Mention

Hi Bart,
There's a UTube vid that features Bartcop and Jennifer Love Hewitt!!


Chicago Jim gets the blame/credit for that.

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 Minor Flood at Casa de Bart

 Click  Here  to sponsor a $4 square foot of the floor of Casa be Bart

 Click  Here  to sponsor three square feet of Casa be Bart  for just $10!  (cheap)

 Thanks, you can send that to

 Update: We have raised over $400 towards the $1833 repair bill - thank you!

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Subject: Why we hate them

Bart, I didn't have any problem with Koblin's article. 

You can't be serious.
What if I was at Friday's World Series game and interviewed a guy who paid $1000 
for his tickets, only to trash the Cardinals as being no-good, cheap-ass losers?
Wouldn't that prove I was a handjob with an anti-Cardinal agenda?

The Clintons are political animals. As such, their entire lives have been built around 
sucking up to power--using and being used--until the day when they can finally bask 
in the glory of their self-importance. 

You must really hate them.
Tell me, are you happy with the current slugs who have power?

I think you'd be hard pressed to find a politician who isn't an egomaniacal, self-aggrandizing narcissist. 
It's the nature of the beast. And it's enough to make one puke.

OK, but that has nothing to do with the point - that this liar pretended that he was
in a room with a bunch of Clinton haters. Why did you abandon the topic we were on?

And your "ego" comments - wouldn't that apply to anyone who ever picked up a microphone,
anyone with a blog, anyone making a toast, anyone auditioning for a part in a movie, play or TV show?
Did Washington have a big ego?  Did Lincoln?   Did FDR or JFK?

I hold the attendees of this mutual admiration society in nothing but contempt. 

You mean the people who are financing the anti-Bush resistance?
Thank Koresh such people exist.

They all have too much time and too much money for their own good. 
Yes sir, give me the days when a 70% income tax would keep these parasites on short leashes.

Yours in revolution,

They were in New York.
If they held a $1,000 dinner, they might have 10,000 people attend.
Then what, rent Madison Square Garden?

Then we'd hear, "Those ego-freaks, pretended to have dinner with 10,000 people."

They can't win with some people.
As for me, I'm voting for the Demo nominee in 2008.

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Marty's Entertainment Page

always has good stuff.

Click on the E!

 Great songs in Church?

A Communion service driven by the music U2 is catching on at Episcopal churches.
The U2 Eucharist is not some kind of youth service held in the church basement but
is a traditional Episcopal liturgy that uses U2's best-selling songs as hymns.

"It makes you, like, warm inside," says Bridgette Roberts, 15, who is Catholic and attended
a recent U2 Eucharist at All Saints' Episcopal Church in Briarcliff Manor, N.Y.
"Usually at church, you love Jesus and everything. But this way you can express how you feel."

Says her friend, Natalie Williams, 17: "I love Bono, and you can rock out to the music.
But in church, you hear it in a different way. It's like new."

Madonna screwed by whore media
 How dare she try to save a orphaned kid?

Madonna called criticism of her adoption "shocking" on Oprah's Show, the first time she
addressed the whore media's objection to her planned adoption of a 1-year-old boy from Malawi.
But experts say she and her husband, Guy Ritchie, have chosen an area of the world where
international adoption is still in uncharted waters, and she shouldn't be surprised by the furor.

On Oprah, Madonna talked about Malawi's stark poverty - open sewage, 8-year-olds running
households and dying mothers - and the emotional tug to bring home a child to a better life.

Who knows the truth - but I read she adopted this abandoned kid from an orphanage.
"Dad" didn't get involved until the money came into focus.

I also wouldn't put it past the whore media to give the 'Dad" more money to say he didn't
realize she was adopting the kid.  When you're that poor, every dolar counts, I'm sure.

Who knows the truth - but I would guess Madonna saw these no-hope kids and thought,
"I can't save them all, but I can save that kid," but the press whore bastards screwed her.

Modanna is just someone you have to hate if you're hip.

Like the Clintons, like Bono, like Bill Gates (OK, maybe he deserves it.) and the biggest - Paris Hilton.
They should make that a Constitutional Amendment - that we all have to hate Paris Hilton - it's the law.
But some people can't live their lives unless they try to ruin other people's lives.

And how f-ing crazy is it for Malawi to make it hard to adopt dying kids?

Why did the press have to get involved in the first place?
I'll tell you why - it's because that's what whores do!
Is there anybody reading this who thinks that kid would be better off in that Malawi orphanage?

Of course not, but Madonna is on the "bad person" list, so she must be made miserable.
They're going to screw that kid out of a lifetime just to play "gotcha" with Madonna.

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 Craig Ferguson  interviews Der Monkey

 Iraq pumped 3.5M barrels daily before Bush invaded
 and then they got their 2003 Halliburton upgrade

Bush's oil gouge, which is going to $100 a barrel
makes $350,000,000 Bush will steal every day.

No wonder they were so eager to start a war,

stealing  $350,000,000 every day.

It's the biggest theft in Earth's history.

Exxon made $10B profit in 90 days 
 $100M a day - all profit - because Bush started a fake war


Bush's "Bring 'em on" death taunt is up to...

2809....2813 American victims

Bush killed  100  soldiers in October,
but that's OK because

Exxon made $100M just yesterday

Why are the military families so silent?
Do they still think their loved ones died for a reason?
What would that reason be?

Exxon made $100M just yesterday

 Meanwhile, Bush's war costs taxpayers $2 billion a week.
He's the greatest president ever - if you have oil stocks.

Bush has killed more
Americans than Osama.


"This is a different kind of war than a war against the fascists in World War II. 
  We were facing a nation-state...Two nation-states. Three nation-states." 
      -- America's premier idiot, trying to remember what Condi told him about WWII   Link

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October Special

Donate $24 (or more) and get a 

3  months of 

 Get single CD BCR 95
and double CD BCR 96
  and triple CD  BCR 97
and double CD  BCR 98
delivered directly to your home like magic

New, cutting-edge technology makes it a better deal for you!

Four BCR shows
and, 5 stickers,

and a Church of Reality sticker while they last.

plus 3 months of BCR for  $24 (cheap)

PayPal to
Charge it to your credit card
Checks and money orders to:
PO Box 54466
Tulsa, OK  74155
No livestock or stamps, please.

Random thought...

On Nov 7, will we be celebrating?

Or will we be cursing the powerless Democrats for refusing
to look into Diebold like we begged them 1,000 times?

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TV Stuff

Did you see my good friend Teri on Ghost Moms, Friday night?
The show is repeating this week on WE, the Women's Entertainment channel.

One of the places they checked for hauntability was Tulsa's Gilcrease Museum.
Years ago, Mrs Bart and I spent the night with Teri's team inside the Gilcrease..

Click  Here  to read my report of that night.

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The Anonymous Family

Subject: water torture

By the time the American public figures this one out, Team Bush will be on their ranches in Paraguay. 
Some will never figure this out-- spoon feed them shit and they lick their lips and come back for more. 

Some people are saying the poor and middle class Americans are betting against their financial interests 
-- check out   and see how we are all being sold out to China. 

Our war is being paid for with money we borrow from China. Money that is "boomeranged" back into 
the pockets of select corporations and individuals. They leave for Paraguay and we "the American Public" 
gets the bill after the 1st National Bank of the American People is drained. 

Wasn't it originally called Chinese Water Torture?
I guess what goes around comes around. 

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Winona Ryder turns 35


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We know you work hard for your money, so we take it as
a compliment when you throw some our way each month.

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had everything.

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