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WELCOME TO BARTCOP.COM A modem, a smart mouth and the truthNews and Commentary NOT Approved by Karl Rove, bcause vicious extremists can NOT be appeased.

BCR Show 117 is here!

Friday May 18, 2007  Vol 1980 - Bush-B-Gon

Quote of the Day

"They looked like the evil 
   law firm in a John Grisham movie."  
    -- Letterman on the GOP debate


In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Iran's the big winner
Worrisome Witness 
Wolfie's Repu bounces 
Dobson to Rudy: No way
Why I hate Her 
Falwell angered God? 
Reverse-Cowgirl Vote
Only Sexy need apply
Jessica Alba No 2

Gross!  Wolfie licks his comb
each time before he uses it.

Visit our friends at


"Republican morale in Congress, particularly in the House, cannot be exaggerated. 
  Party loyalists there -- we refer not only to moderates but staunch conservatives as well
  -- have turned their backs on Bush and admit that they cannot wait for him to leave town." 
    -- Bob Novak, whore and traitor to his country,   Link

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Iran's Mission Accomplished
 by Ivan Eland

Tough-guy rhetoric aside, the winner from the clumsy American invasion and occupation of Iraq is Iran, 
which has seen its blood enemy, Saddam Hussein, executed and its Shiite allies put in charge.

With its usual tin ear for public relations, the Bush administration provided another "Kodak moment" 
of incompetent belligerence by yet again sending a high-level administration official to use an aircraft 
carrier as a prop for a hawkish rant.
Cheney did manage to refrain from displaying another "Mission Accomplished" banner during his speech
on the John C. Stennis, stationed 150 miles off Iran's coast. But as Cheney warned Iran against disrupting 
oil transportation routes or getting nuclear weapons, the speech's imagery also reminded everyone of Bush's 
previous fiasco on another aircraft carrier.

Bush's daddy did all he could to contain Iran - that's why he got in bed with Saddam.
Now his Dim Son has given Iran everything they couldn't get on their own.

...and they wouldn't be acquiring nukes if the boneheaded little snot hadn't threatened them.

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Rove's Worrisome Witness
   by Count Novakula


The day Karl Rove administered a tongue-lashing to a Republican congressman, disturbing news about his 
former executive assistant was spread on Capitol Hill.   GOP House members learned that Susan Ralston is 
requesting immunity to testify before Democratic Rep. Henry Waxman's investigating committee.

She was an assistant to Jack Abramoff  in 2001 when he recommended her for the top job with Rove as he 
entered the White House. As Rove's gatekeeper, Susan Ralston became special assistant to the president and 
the highest-ranking Filipino American in the administration. For Waxman, she is a link between the disgraced, 
imprisoned Abramoff and Rove, a principal political target of the Democratic-controlled Congress.

Can you believe Novak and Russert still have their jobs?
After it was proven in court that they're both shills on Bush's payroll?

Gee, it's almost like prostitution is legal in Washington DC.

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 Discuss it on The Bartcop Forum
 Discuss it on the BartBlog

Subject: Groening Gives a Shout-Out to Bart??!!

I was watching a repeat episode of "The Simpsons." 
Do you know how in the opening Bart is always writing something on the blackboard? 
Well, yesterday, I noticed Bart wrote, "I will not visit a liberal website named after me."

That *had* to be a shout-out to Bart! 

I can't remember the title. It was the one where Bart was making and selling T-shirts 
with political themes...hmm...was the *whole* episode a shout-out?

It's nice to know Matt Groening reads Bart Cop!

Speaking of The Simpsons, Sunday is their 400th episode and
it features 24's Jack Bauer and Chloe helping with some school disaster.
(Has Homer been writing the 24 scripts this year?)

I hope it's as funny as the previews.

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Check out

Wolfie's Reputation bounces at World Bank
 He's leaving at the end of June


Bush crony-flunkie Paul Wolfowitz will resign at the end of June, he and the bank said late Thursday,
ending his long fight to survive pressure for his ouster over the compensation he arranged for his slut.

His departure ends a two-year run at the development bank that was marked by controversy from the start,
given his previous role as a major architect of the bloody quagmire when he was No. 2 official at the Pentagon.

"I'm a quitter by nature," he said, after the White House kicked his crooked ass to the curb.
"I'm a loser, I should probably kill myself because I can't get anything right, no matter what I do..."

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Dueling Quotes

"A new Cook Poll shows Hillary "remains far and away the leader of the pack" with 36%, 
 followed by Obama at 25% and Edwards at 15%."  
     -- Political Wire,

"Don't pay too much attention to the national polls just yet. Essentially, they are useful 
  for measuring name recognition and are great for candidate hype and fundraisings."
     -- John Zogby,

It goes without saying that if She's leading in the polls by double digits, 
it means nothing, so please ignore the polls until someone else takes the lead.
Then the polls will mean something.

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Subject: Falwell

I disagree about Falwell being in a better place, even though I caught the sarcasm.  

He's in the dirt, right where his fat ass belongs, and it's us, all of us who are alive, 
who are in a better place because this asshole hypocrite piece of garbage charlatan is gone. 

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Dobson to Rudy: No way

James Dobson, widely considered a religio-jerkoff, says he will not vote for Rudy Giuliani under any
circumstances because of his positions on abortion, homosexual couples and other moral issues.
Dobson says, "I cannot, and will not, vote for Rudy Giuliani in 2008."

"It is an irrevocable decision," says the founder and chairman of Focus on the Handjob.
"If given a choice between him and Hillary or Obama, I will either cast my ballot for an also-ran
 or not vote for the first time in my adult life."

They hate Rudy, they hate McCain and they hate Romney.
Who will the religio-crazies embrace next year?

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Winning The Reverse-Cowgirl Vote
 Interview with Jenna Jamison

 Excerpt: Do you find that the adult industry changes when a Republican;s in charge?

Jenna Jameson: Absolutely. The Clinton administration was the best years for the adult industry 
and I wish that Clinton would run again. I would love to have him back in office. I love Hillary. 
I think that in some ways she's pretty conservative for a Democrat, but I would love a woman in office.

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Subject: NOT at all enamored of Hillary's presidential run

Hillary has been unfairly, but successfully demonized by the Reich-Wing Propaganda Machine.  
Even I (an ardent Liberal) find her to be vocally grating and simply IMPOSSIBLE to listen to 
for more than 30 to 60 seconds....and beyond even THAT, American voters at large sadly remain 
misinformed and undeniably bigoted.  Even now, I'm certain many voters did not vote Democratic 
in 2000 because a Jew was at the top of the ticket. 
It is this kind of intrisic bigotry the Repugnantcans consistently exploit at every opportunity - it's why 
the GOPigs themselves were hyping Hillary's candidacy and what a "formidable opponent" she would 
make before she even announced her run!  Sorry, but the same GOPig exploitation of knee-jerk bigotry
would apply to Obama as well.

I like Gore.  He'd win in a landslide!
 Tracy H

I think that's why they're pushing Obama with all their time, money and energy.
The second he gets the nomination he'll be blacker than the great Yaphet Kotto
who I pissed off BIG time in 1998.

If you're old enough to remember the Willie Horton ads, this is the same GOP.

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"Cheney going to a prostitute? I can't believe a good-looking guy 
  like that would ever have to pay for sex."  
     -- Letterman

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War Pigs

Subject: Phil Specter?

Bart, I know Arlen Specter is a world-class turd, but to put his picture next to
an article about Phil Specter is quite deceitful. Please do not go down that path.
Why did you do this?
 Tampa Buc

Because I can.
For someone with no rules, I think I show remarkable restraint.

Plus, I thought it was funny.

What else is funny is how I can spend an hour or two working on a piece
(or 15 hours on a radio show) and not hear from anybody, but a dumb little joke 
like this fills up my mailbox.

 Send e-mail to Bart

It pays to advertise on

Still at 2006 prices!

Click to get more Hits

Falwell angered God?
 God Snuffs Out Jerry Falwell

The Lord is testing us, friends. He does that periodically. Remember when He told His beloved servant, 
Abraham to violently murder his own son? Just as Abraham was about to drive the knife through his son's body, 
God yelled, "Gotcha!"   And remember when He tested Jonah's claustrophobia by making him take up residence 
in a whale's stomach for three days, without so much as a candle or a can of Lysol?  God does crazy, bizarre, 
inexplicable things to make sure we believe in Him based on faith and fear and not that "rational thought" thingy.

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"I hope I can keep my arm..."


"When you have to spend more time up here on Capitol Hill instead of 
  running the Justice Department, maybe you ought to think about stepping down." 
    -- Sen. Pat Roberts, Republican,   Link  

 Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: Paris

Bart, you wrote:

> I can understand women hating Paris because she's young, thin, pretty and rich,
> but why would a guy hate a girl like that?  It doesn't make a lot of sense.

Thanks for the laugh.  But you left out HUGE NOSE with the Paris description.
And if it makes no sense to for males yearning the "glory days," no explanation will get through.

If she's not attractive,
it must be her talent that makes her millions every year.

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Click  Here for Merchandise

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Monkeyfister said some nice things about

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It's Friday, the weekend is here...

The kids are in bed, you have some time to yourself.
Drink three and smoke one and Click Here.

If you're into recycling or the environment, drink four and smoke two.



"We have a Congress. We have an independent judiciary. We have checks and balances. 
  We are a nation of laws. We have free speech. We have a free press. Why have they all failed us?"
    -- Al Gore, in his book,   Link

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Subject: Paris

Bart, you crazy man, you wrote:

> She deserves to be punished for sure, but as far as I know, she'll by far be the
> most famous person to ever be in the Los Angeles jail and that makes her a target.

You got some of that marijuana!  Good for you.
But saying Paris Hilton is "by far" the most famous person to be in the LA jail?
Too funny.

There have been thousands of celebrities in that jail.  The first one I remember was Robert Mitchum.
In the 40s he got thrown in for marijuana.  Look it up.  And, of course, there was OJ, etc etc etc --
as I said, thousands.  From murder to marijuana, to breaking probation.  (Robert Downey Jr, ring a bell?)

But if you want to keep saying Paris is the most famous (by far!), keep smoking that weed!

I wish.
Do you really think Downey, Mitchum and Simpson are/were more famous than Paris Hilton?
Perhaps you're thinking "more accomplished," instead of "more famous."

Granted, Simpson had a big 1994/95, but that was before the innertubes, before cell phone cameras,
before the mass media went wild, before news and pictures spread around the globe like wildfire.

Paris has about 1,000 pictures taken of her every day.
OJ had one day that big, not a thousand in a row and still counting.

 Send e-mail to Bart

Luba's Jeep


"If the immigration bill goes through, we're doomed in '08. This will be the
  last straw for the GOP base as far as trusting the Republicans it elects." 
   -- the vulgar Pigboy, telling the truth?

 Send e-mail to Bart

Why I hate Her
  by Ari Berman

Hillary Clinton is great at sounding like a populist. Yet she's not very convincing. If Clinton really 
wanted to curtail the influence of the powerful, she might start with the advisers to her own campaign, 
who represent some of the weightiest interests in corporate America.

Her chief strategist, Mark Penn, not only polls for America's biggest companies 
but also runs one of the world's premier PR agencies.

ha ha
How dare she get competent people!
That woman has some nerve!

 Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: Paris

Hey, Bart,

I don't hate Paris Hilton.  I am just not obsessed with her life of self-indulgence.  It used to be there was 
something rich people sometimes exhibited:  noblesse oblige. It had to do with recognizing that with wealth 
came an obligation to make the world a better place.

Now, the woman who rocks my world is a 46 year old single Mom with grey hair who is a school teacher 
and a poet and a playwright.  When she dresses up, it is in clothes she thinks are fun. Not designer outfits.  
She is a gardener and loves the hours digging in the dirt, pulling weeds and growing food she and her household eats. 
She is a softball player.  She delights in seeing her students have that click of insight and brilliance.  She volunteers 
to support the arts.  She has more tools than I do and more hours using them.  She is smart and is not reluctant to 
get up in my face when she feels her turf has been crossed. She teaches me stuff I need to know.  She is a GREAT 
mother.  I'm afraid I can't love her enough.  I wouldn't trade her for a hundred Paris Hiltons.  The REAL men 
(and I suspect I should include you) love real women and see Paris for the media hyped cipher she is.

Geoff in Montana

Geoff, good one.

 Send e-mail to Bart

 Want to trade links?

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"You didn't have to watch the Fox debate all the way to Rudy's Quayle moment to know something 
odd was afoot. Right at the beginning, as each candidate was introduced, a graphic appeared with the 
following data: Age. Religion. Family. Career.  With Religion being listed just beneath how old they were,
it turned Age into a countdown to their eternal reward. On the other hand, ya gotta laugh at the data 
included under Family: the wife, the kids, the odd step-kid, but no mention of prior spouses, let alone 
prior spouses' prior spouses. The only statistic missing was dick size..."  
    -- Marty Kaplan,

Send e-mail to Bart

As seen on

When is the next big Fuck the Monkey rally?
We need to make a splash, but we need a
bona-fide big event and enough time to raise funds!


"In 2006 and 2004, they challenged tens of thousands of black soldiers. They stopped their votes 
from being counted when they were mailed in from Baghdad....By sending letters to the homes of 
soldiers, marked "do not forward." When they came back undelivered, they said: Aha! Illegal voter 
registered from a false address. And when their ballot came in from Fallujah, it was challenged. 
The soldier didn't know it. Their vote was lost.  Go to Baghdad, lose your vote - mission accomplished.
This was not a small operation. It was a multi-million dollar, wholesale theft operation."  
     -- Greg Palast, in a BuzzFlash interview,  

 Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: RE: Too bad Durbin's confession ruins your argument

I don't have an argument that spoils.

If someone lied, then they lied.
If someone cheated, then they cheated.
But don't tell me you know what someone else is thinking.

If you have that power, go to Vegas and win a million dollars player poker
and then write to me and say, "Bart, this proves I know what other people are thinking."

Until you do that, you're just guessing.
Everyone has a guess, so what makes your gues more valid than mine?

Now let's look at your proof.

"The information we had in the intelligence committee was not the same information 
 being given to the American people. I couldn't believe it," says Dick Durbin,

Durbin said there was no "ethical" way to notify the public of specific Bush misleading information 
because it would have required revealing top-secret information being provided to the intelligence committee. 

Why didn't he speak up by using that first sentence?,0,1185177.story

The idea that Durbin could keep his mouth shut about anything is a stunner in itself.   ha ha
He has been known to shoot it off frequently and disastrously.

So, what are we to think now? That Durbin willingly let thousands of Americans die when he knew the truth? 
Why is he bringing it up now? Was it just bravado, a childlike "I know what you don't know" moment? 
Was it a slip of the tongue; did he misspeak? Was it just a routine attempt to again make Bushies look like liars, 
but he failed to think through the implications and consequences of what he was saying? Did it even occur to him 
that he was implicating every member of the Intelligence Committee for hiding the truth from the public?

I agree - this is a mangled, bungle of stupidity.
Who knows what he meant to say?
Why bother to say, "I knew all along, but kept quiet?" when it only makes him look stupider.

How many members of the IC are there?
Why can't we get clarification or a comment from the others?
Is Dick Durbin crazy - like they say?

 Send e-mail to Bart

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Random thought...

I think the next president should create a new cabinet level position and name
Al Gore as the first Secretary of the Environment.

Shirley, you agree.

Marty's Entertainment Page

always has good stuff.

Click on the E!

Only the Sexy need apply
 Sexiness a must for today's lady singers


A quick check of the Billboard Top 40 turns up a list of candidates for "America's Top Model": 
Avril Lavigne, blonde stunner Carrie Underwood; tomboyish but sexy Ciara, fashionista Gwen Stefani 
and hip-swiveling Shakira (on a song featuring bootylicious Beyonce).

The only two in the Top 40 who might not be considered perfect 10s: Pink, who is still svelte and appealing; 
and multiplatinum Grammy-winner Kelly Clarkson, who won the democratically elected "American Idol."

When asked whether a female with so-so looks and sex appeal could get a record deal, 
Gretchen Wilson quickly replied: "They can't."

This isn't new.  Tom Cruise is a hueueueuege star, but he can't act - not even a little.

 Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: Paris

Boy, I'm a letter writing machine.... (note to self, drink more beer).

You said, in re Paris Hilton

> "People hate her f-ing guts... when you ask why, they say,
> "She thinks she's so great."

Paris Hilton is a boring, dissolute, no-talent media whore who's famous for being famous.
While I admire your compassion ("Who did Paris Hilton ever hurt?") I have to ask,
who did she ever help, besides herself?

But Dude, that's not the question.

There are 299,900,000 Americans who never helped anybody ever,
and they're not all the most hated people in America.

My problem is with the people who would walk barefoot over 2 miles of broken glass
to have the opportunity of maybe seeing Paris Hilton get screwed over and I wonder why.

If there were any justice in the world, any dozen more talented artists would have a record contract,
and Paris Hilton would be scrubbing toilets in a truck stop.

If there was any justice in the world, Mrs Bart and I would be living in the vulgar Pigboy's Palm Beach mansion
and he'd be the broke bastard with the cellmate named Bubba who used to work for MLK's security team.

I don't hate her, but I don't care if she goes to jail either.
Good riddance, genius. Follow the law like the rest of us.

<Bart does a shot>

But it's not about that.
Let's punish Paris to the Nth degree, but let's not cut her face up.

When they moved McVeigh - deputies surrounded him so a sniper couldn't get off a shot.
Paris doesn't have that protection when she's in the custody of the LA police.
Christ, the LA cops can't stop other LA cops from executing innocent civilians.
(Suge Knight, call your office!)

As for you Bartcop, keep defending the downtrodden, brother. =>)

 Send e-mail to Bart

 Discuss it on The Bartcop Forum
 Discuss it on the BartBlog

 Iraq pumped 3.5M barrels daily before Bush invaded
 and then they got their 2003 Halliburton upgrade

Bush is stealing $220,000,000 every day.

No wonder they were so eager to start a war,

stealing  $220,000,000 every day.

It's the biggest theft in Earth's history.

Exxon made $10B profit in 90 days
 $100M a day - all profit - because Bush started a fake war


Bush's "Bring 'em on" death taunt is up to...

3,401....3,409 American victims

8 more families destroyed by Bush greed since yesterday.
11 if you count the families of the kidnapped.

...and how much did BIG OIL make yesterday?
Exxon makes $108M - every day

Bush can live with that,
because Iraq's oil wells have no meters
and his front company is moving to Dubai.

"We will not leave until we recover every drop 
of my stolen oil and I don't a flying damn 
how many more soldiers have to die!"

 $100M a day,
$200M a day,
$300M a day - where's that money going?

Bush has killed more Americans than Osama.

A moment of silence for Veronica Mars

Veronica Mars radiated easy confidence. She was genuinely smart and funny. 
She spent her time outwitting men, not weeping over them.

No Hope For Veronica Mars

Veronica Mars axing pains cult of fans 

Veronica was a pint-sized Perry Mason with the intellect of the 
Gilmore Girls and moxie of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. 

Bad news for Veronica Mars -- cult show knocked off the air

Axing of Veronica Mars a jolt to audience 

I was hooked from the get-go. It's part mystery-suspense, part drama, 
always fast, witty dialogue - sassy blonde solves crime, what's not to like?

Veronica Mars Meets Her Match: Network TV

Savor every last second of the last two episodes. Every quip, every venetian blind shadow 
cast in the background, every Keith/Veronica moment, every everything. Because this is it kids.

Veronica Mars: Really Dead This Time

The ax, it has fallen. Moment of silence, people.

Veronica Mars: I Know What You'll Do Next Summer

CW is killing one of the only good things left on television.

 Send e-mail to Bart

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Subject: BCR 116 Part 2 beatdown

I agree with Jeff in Chicago.

"You should choose another LIAR, THIEF, WHORE and FRAUD every show for the  same treatment.
If it's too goddamned exhausting, just go for 10 minutes or so, what the  hell.
That's what I call some hammering!"

Use that Big Bartcop Hammer to beat down another LIAR, THIEF, WHORE and  FRAUD !
 Hoosier Tim 

Both parts of  BCR Show 116 caused a stir, so let's all hear it.
You need to know a few things.  It's not a "normal" show.

Part One is a "debate" with Randi Rhodes about you-know-who (not Paris) 
Part Two is a triple bad language alert beatdown against a lying religio-monkey.

Click to Listen to Part One of Show 116
Click to download Part One of Show 116

Click to Listen to Part Two of  Show 116
Click to download Part Two of  Show 116

This show was brought to you by Mark Perkel

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Jessica Alba, No 2 on the Hot List


 See lots more of  Jessica Alba  at BC Hotties

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