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WELCOME TO BARTCOP.COM A modem, a smart mouth and the truthNews and Commentary NOT Approved by Karl Rove, bcause vicious extremists can NOT be appeased.

BCR 124, 125 are here!HOT

Fri-Thursday  Aug 17-23, 2007   Vol 2027 - Hellenbach

Quote of the Day

"We left Vietnam too soon."
    - the vulgar Fuhrer, yesterday,  

 This time, this one time, Bush is right.
 We lost 52,000 soldiers in that quagmire.
 Had we stayed, we could've lost another 20,000.
 Well, Bush is here to correct that mistake.
 Christ, I think he wants the most dead record!

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Arrow Saudi Moderation?
Arrow Twisted Legacy of Rove HOT
Arrow Diebold's New Name 
Arrow Thompson's Hot Water HOT
Arrow Worst congress ever HOT
Arrow Are Democrats dumb? 
Arrow Why I Hate Hillary (2) 
Arrow AT&T loves Bush  
Arrow Kristen Bell on Heroes


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"Nobody in this country wants the US Military to lose. Nobody in this country wants the country to lose."
      -- Rush, steeping back from his wild-ass statements that the Democrats want us to lose in Iraq,  Oink

 Click  Here  to hear Rush say it himself.

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Saudi Moderation?
  by  Barbara Koeppel

Almost daily, the Bushies ratchet up the war-like rhetoric about Iran's alleged role in destabilizing Iraq.
Eerily, like the pre-Iraq War drumbeat, the U.S. press repeats the accusations with little skepticism and
Congress marches in  lockstep, as a new Middle  East  villain is marked for punishment.

On Aug. 15, front-page stories in the New York Times, the Washington Post and other leading newspapers
described how Bush planned to designate Iran's Revolutionary Guard Corps a "global terrorist" organization
for supporting anti-U.S. and anti-Israeli forces in the Middle East.

Yet Saudi Arabia is implicated by far more persuasive evidence in  helping Iraqi Sunni militias with money,
weapons and suicide bombers to kill both U.S. troops and Iraqi targets, including civilians.

On this, the Bush administration and the U.S. press corps are remarkably silent.


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"I happen to like Hillary. Bill is now the rock star of the Democratic Party, but he didn't get
  to be a great President. He was reelected without asking for a mandate to do anything big,
  and he didn't get anything big done as President."
     -- Bob Shrum, always the loser,    Link

 Note: Clinton was elected and reelected without any help from loser Shrum.

 I guess 8 years of peace and prosperity is nothing, eh Bob?
 Think we'll ever have that again?

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The Twisted Legacy of Rove
 by Joe Conason

           by Wizard of Whimsy


Until the ethical and legal questions that trail Karl Rove are answered, his own explanation for abruptly
departing the White House must suffice. Perhaps he is the first political operative in history to flee
Washington because he actually wants to spend more time with his family. Why he is leaving matters
much less, however, than the opportunities he squandered and the wreckage he leaves behind.

Inevitably, thousands of words will be devoted to his electoral achievements and his ultimate failure
to "realign" American politics under right-wing Republican domination - including a book he apparently
plans to write. His vision of a new political dispensation proved to be more grandiose than grand."

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"The White House's effort to prevent Petraeus and Crocker from testifying openly and candidly before
Congress about the situation in Iraq is unacceptable.  Not only does it contradict the law Bush himself
signed in May, but it appears to be yet another politically driven attempt to avoid giving Congress and
the American people an honest and open assessment of a war we can all see is headed in the wrong direction.
    -- Harry Reid, pitiful and inept,   Link

 Did Reid win the leadership position on a bet?
 How did such a loser rise to the top of thr power heap?
 Does that mean every other Dem senator is more of a loser than Reid?

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Cheney drunk on CNBC

Audio - Video

Subject: Your 'fan mail'


cheer up about your "fan mail."
people you don't even know are so affected by your comedy page, they write just to say "fuck you."

i'm sure there was a time in the old RL-LNW days when those letters would make your day. "hey, someone's
actually reading this! she called me a fucking liar! awesome!"

plus, remember, most people only write when they're pissed off. deep down, though, 
they know that bartcop is priceless entertainment during bad times.

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Diebold: New Name, Same Crooked Voting Machines


"Diebold Election Systems" are three words synonymous with the aggressive pursuit of failure.

No wonder, then, that Diebold has decided to steal a page from Philip Morris (aka the Altria Group):
Diebold will erase its sorry history with a simple name change!

Henceforth, when reaching for an example of mind-boggling incompetence, please say "Premier"
rather than "Diebold," because Diebold Election Systems is now Premier Election Systems.

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Cheney: How to Create a Quagmire

Subject: pond scum

This guy on Colbert Report said that a blogger is just a step up from pond scum.
Are you going to take this?!?

Or are you going to Journalism School?

I'm pretty much finished with all kinds of school.

I didn't see that, but remember Colbert is on our side.
He's a comedian pretending to be a dumn-ass Republican.

Don't feel bad - he fooled the White House :)

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Karl Rove is a genius

Karl Rove is the first to admit it: he's become a myth, a man from whom political magic is expected.
Last fall, for instance, Republicans around the country and even in the White House waited for Rove
to devise a campaign strategy that would keep Republicans from losing the House and Senate and
Bush from becoming a lame duck president. But Republicans and Bush suffered a terrible defeat.

Rove is the greatest political mind of his generation and probably of any generation. He not only is
a breathtakingly smart strategist but also a clever tactician. He knows history, understands the moods
of the public, and is a visionary on matters of public policy. But he is not a magician.

Political advisers like Rove offer advice, not magic.

This from Fred barnes, the dumbest of the dun-ass pundits.
Why, chimps are smarter than this liar-whore.

Chippy the Chimp is right 517 times out of 1,000.
Fred Barnes is only right 398 times because he's a lying whore.
Chippy is smarter/lies less than Fred Barnes.

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Join the Solution



"I've already made it clear I'm not going to be able to stay until the end of his term,
 but that's primarily for financial reasons. When my money runs out, then I've got to go."
     -- Tony Snow, who must be lying,  Link

 Who ever heard of a high-profile Republican whore running out of money?

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Crazy, crazy poker hand

Who will win?

Audio - Video

Subject: Eldrick

Bart, you wrote:

> Then Monday, after he won,  "Tiger Tames Tulsa!!!!!!"

> Why can't they be satified with "Woods wins PGA?"

> It reminds me of a nine year old girl lusting after some boy band.
> I don't mind the facts, but the hype is enough to turn anyone off.

Really Bart, are you now pretending that you've never written headlines?

I've never written a headline that fawning and gushing.

2026 issues and you can't figure out why "Tiger Tames Tulsa"
is a better headline that "Woods wins PGA"?

It depends - if it's the 'Tiger is God' Fanclub Newsletter, then that's an appropriate headline.
But for a city with cops and an airport, for the only big newspaper to flatter and gush with childlike glee
over some out-of-town athlete on the front page above the fold is enough to make an adult gag.

Seriously, if you and I went to St Francis High School, and our Assisis won the state football title,
I wouldn't mind if the school paper screamed, "Assisis Take Tupelo!" but this ain't high school.

Okay, I'll explain it to an Okie with an I.Q. of 60.  It's alliterative with at the T's the guys reading
the sports page get to spit in people's faces as they read it.  It tumbles trippingly from the tongue.
Second, it mentions the name of the hometown of the Tulsa World, so a call out to the crowd.
It paints a picture of a fierce animal engaged in taming "Tulsa".

That's not the picture I got :)

Tiger will one day retire with (...why do people send me lists of Tiger victories?)

If Tiger Woods never wins another tournament, he'd still be the best golfer to ever play the game.
I love your page, and I know it's a joke page, but your Bartcop Hex on Tiger has been about as
effective as a squadron of Pink Tutu Democrats threatening a filibuster.

 ha ha
My Hex performed a LOT better than the wet-my-pants Democrats.

Hell, would you please hex me?

If I did, you might marry a Swedish model.

Wait, you're a fan of Tiger's and you say the BartCop Hex didn't work?

Will you give me a dollar for every "What's wrong with Tiger?" column that ran
between last week and the week I hexed him with it way back in 2001?


The 2001 U.S. Open in Tulsa stopped Woods' majors victory streak at four,
and was the start of one of his worst droughts. He went on to five straight
tournaments without a top 10 (including 25th at the British Open and 29th at the PGA).

Don't mess with the BartCop Hex.

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"Bush is headed for even more dire times and the ultimate result will be a failed presidency.
  I attribute the likelihood of this very sad end to serious breakdowns in integrity in how he
  has consistently flouted the Constitution, in its ignorance of what we faced in Iraq before
  and after we attacked, and in his refusal to acknowledge its errors, correct them, and move on."
     -- Bud Krogh, one of Nixon's plumbers who had to do time for his crimes,  Link

I'm so old, I remember when you were caught committing a felony, you went to prison.
But Bush changed all that - any guilty friend of his is forever pardoned.

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When in New Zealand, eat at Hell's Pizza

Subject: Explain please

I do not understand why Democrats are such sackless/spineless wimps. 
Were they all beaten as children at home and in school? Do they have no self esteem? 

How hard is it to stand up to the stupidest, most intentionally ignorant president ever? My 8 year old 
could outwit that fuckwit, but Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid cannot? What are they afraid of?  
The Republicans have started cannibalizing each other, running ads targeting Republican 
congress critters to make sure they stay in line with their support for dear leader.

Oliver nails it here.

I think what this country needs is a really big protest or work stoppage. 
Something to get the attention of the elites whose heads are lost up their butts.

End of rant - I feel a little better.....

Gallup: Worst congress ever


The approval rating for Congress is now "the lowest it has been in Gallup history - since 1974," 
Jeffrey Jones of the Gallup Poll reports today.

According to Jones: "Just 18% approve of the job Congress is doing, while 76% disapprove. 
That 18% job approval rating matches the low recorded in March 1992, when a check-bouncing 
scandal was one of several scandals besetting Congress."

As he also notes, the Democratic-led Congress has had a very brief honeymoon 
and stands lower in Americans' eyes than President Bush:

But that's a horseshit fact.
The GOP is blocking everything the Dems want to do - so how is that the fault of the Dems?

Qualifier: To this day, nobody has been able to explain to me why the GOP can block every
move the Dems try to make now, whereas we were "totally powerless" for the last 6 years.

Bush had broken almost every law and peed on the Bill of Rights while the Dems cried,
"We can't stop him," but the minute Gore wants a concert, Inhofe can say, "NO" and kill it?

Could someone explain?
Is it just a matter of balls - they have some and we don't?

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AT&T loves Bush 
And if you don't like it, you can go to hell


Not being "in the demo," as they say in the media biz, I didn't hear about AT&T's censorship 
of Pearl Jam until a friend told me about it. If you were not paying attention to Lollapalooza in Chicago, 
you probably didn't hear about it either. But a lots of people have heard, and that's a problem for AT&

At Lollapalooza, Eddie Vedder altered the lyrics of Pink Floyd's "Another Brick in the Wall" to say, 
"George Bush! Leave This World Alone." This was evidently too much for AT&T, and so they blocked it out. 
Also cut out was a line that said, "George Bush! Find yourself another home." This is the kind of thing that 
Democratics say on the stump every day. Fortunately, they need not seek approval first from AT&T.

No doubt AT&T is volunteering to Bush copies of every phone call we make, too.

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Thompson's Hot Water


A blooger has filed a complaint with the FEC pointing out the obvious: While Mr. Thompson claims to be 
evaluating the prospect of running for president, in reality he's already running. This wouldn't matter terribly, 
except that it's against the law. By perpetrating this sham, he's abusing a legal status that allows him to conduct
certain activities (hiring staff, conducting polling, doing limited fund raising) without the hassle of declaring that 
he's a candidate or filing regular reports to the FEC.

For its part, the Thompson for President Committee has responded with a simple statement: "We're following the law." 
But of course, saying it doesn't make it so. The committee will have 15 days to come up with a better answer once the 
FEC officially notifies it of the complaint. In the meantime, let's look at the law and the evidence from the complaint.

Thompson isn't the savior they think he is.
Check out his position on abortion.

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Cross-dressing - as a lion?

Audio - Video 

Are Democrats dumb?

Seriously - is it a pre-requisite that you have to have the IQ of a an inbred monkey 
to be a democratic lawmaker? they simply do not get it. super-simple arguments are 
beyond them. and they have not, after 7 years, been able to successfully untwist even 
the most rudimentary of logical knots that bush/rove have tied.

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FOX News wants war 
with Iran soooo much

Audio - VideoHOT


"If we don't stop believing the worst in each other, we're dead."  
    -- Glenn Beck, liar and whore, the same man who once described Hillary's voice 
        as that of 'a stereotypical bitch, ' hosted a guest who said on-air that watching 
        someone murder the Clintons would be 'great,' and confessed that he is 'afraid' 
        to have 'a lot of African-American friends.', in a new GQ profile,

    -- Glenn Beck is a vulgar Pigboy wannabe who spews his right-wing hate 
        on CNN's Headline news several times each day.
        I guess Michael Savage was too busy.

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Subject: I figured it out

Bart, I have figured out whay all the candidates (with few exceptions) love Bush so,
They ALL work for the same guy Satan. 

I think you must have to sell your soul to be a candidate for president of any denomination.

Whaddya think?

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How pregnant is Jenna?

Can you do a formal White House wedding
with a very pregnant "family values" bride?

Why I hate Hillary
 Lies and horseshit from Frank Dwyer

Hillary addressed veterans in Kansas City yesterday and proclaimed that "we've begun to change tactics in Iraq," 
and those changed tactics are "working." "We're just years too late in our tactics," she lamented.

(Note: The first report I read, on Huffington Post and from the New York Post, quoted Hillary as saying 
"the surge" is working. Now that I have seen the full speech, I can quote her exactly. "We've begun to change tactics"
But what else is she talking about except Bush's Hail Mary surge? What other "new tactics" have we begun to try? 
The surge is the story. She was, of course, talking about the surge. Arguing about how she characterized it misses 
the essential and crucial point. It obfuscates, which is exactly what every Republican argument is meant to do.)

What does Hillary mean by "working"? 
How is the surge working? 
What is it accomplishing? 
What is it meant to accomplish?
I don't think I'm going to be voting Democrat if she wins.

If this guy had stuck to the facts, he'd have no angle to write about.
So he invents shit, creates nouns and verbs that don't exist,
then he demands that Hillary explain his fabrications, lies and distortions.

If Tequilaboy in Okie-homie knows this he's lying, doesn't everybody?
BTW, the title to his horseshit column is "Hillary's War," as if Edwards,
Biden, Kerry and the majority of the senate Democrats tried to stop her, but Hillary's
well-documented blood lust would not be sated until allll the little children were dead.

Is this all they have?
They invent lies and demand that she explain them?

Trust me, you can't beat a Clinton with lies and stupidity.
You'll have to do a lot better than this if you plan to stop her,

Arianna will do everything in her power to stop the Democratic front-runner.

IF Hillary falters and, say, Obama becomes the nominee, 
will Arianna then give us her litany of lies about Obama?

What does Arianna have against Democrats chosing their nominee?

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GOP Quits, Goes Home


A rash of retirements among House Bastards is adding to the Fascist's electoral challenges 
and raising questions about a rush for the exits.

Four House Republicans - Hastert, LaHood, Pryce and Pickering  - have all announced that 
they will not seek re-election, worrying Republican leaders anxious to hold back a potential wave 
of retirements after the loss of their majority in 2006.  Hastert was known as a sweaty wrestler.

"I think our party's chances for winning the majority back next time are pretty bleak at the moment," 
LaHood said.  "People are going to continue to have heartburn over the war," he said. "Democrats will 
win the White House, hold their majority in the House and in the Senate in 2008, and then in 2010 we will 
have an extraordinary opportunity in the off-year of a Democratic presidency and Congressional majorities
to possibly win it back. But it is not going to happen the next time," in 2008.

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"I would readily concede to you this is a difficult issue because the reason 
  there is tax preferences in the first place are there are powerful interests 
  that have worked to get the preference in the code."  
    -- Der Fuhrer, talking about his friends, the super-rich,     Link

 No telling what the Monkey meant to say, but obviously the poor get screwed the worst.

 Hey Monkey, who cares about preferences if you're going to donate hundred of billions 
 of dollars to your friends in the oil business, the bastards who already make $75,000 
 per minute in PURE PROFIT off your fake war that has killed almost 4,000 American soldiers?

 This is one day's profits for Bush's oil bastard buddies and the cost comes cheap - to them.


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Subject: Kucinich

Dear Bart Cop,
You know Hillary voted for this war (another obvious lack of balls). I wanted to know 
about the candidate's views on military action with Iran. You would have to be an idiot not to. 
I want know, that the next President isn't going to get us in the same senseless mess of a war, as we are in Iraq.
It's obvious she is your candidate but, that dosen't make her the right one. 

I don't read much on your site about Rep. Kucinich your not just another media whore are you??? 
He's the only one that has it right.
 Rudy H

I like Dennis, but people laugh when you mention his name.
Besides, he's too honest to be president.

BTW, on that war vote, do you hold everyone who voted yes responsible for that?
I'm asking - did you vote for Kerry in 2004?

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Send e-mail to Bart

Quote of the Day

"Fear is a two-way street. You just don't want to 
  hit the sign that says,  'One Way: Do Not Enter.'"  
    - Rush, still obsessed with anal sex,  Link

 I wonder - do Republicans remember
 that there is such a thing as vaginal sex?

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Subject: the annual Stella Awards


For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled
hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in where she purchased the coffee.

That's right. These are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts that happened during 2006. 
You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch your head. Here are the "Stellas" for the past year:

This writer is crazy.
I'm all for "Stella" getting a big paycheck after she was badly burned by McDonalds.

As for the Stella Awards, if it doesn't some with a verifiable link, assume it's just another
"Hillary peed on the Gold Star Mothers" horseshit.

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Subject: Bill Moyers smacks the FOX News whores

Dear colleagues,

The Moyers Blog has posted a letter from Bill Moyers to Chris Wallace of Fox News Sunday, 
where Karl Rove was shown a excerpt of Moyers' comments about Rove's resignation.   

You can find this response HERE

I hope you will share this with your readers. 
Diane Domondon
Director of Outreach
Bill Moyers Journal

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It pays to advertise on

Still at 2006 prices!

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Greedy Oil Bastards Caught
Fixed Prices for 23,000 Gas Station Owners 


Nearly two dozen gas station owners in California sued Shell Oil, Chevron and Saudi Refining,
on Tuesday, claiming the companies conspired to fix prices for 23,000 franchise owners nationwide.

The case filed in U.S. District Court in San Francisco seeks class-action status for the plaintiffs. 
It is similar to another lawsuit filed in 2004 by other California gas station owners that was thrown out 
by Bush's Whore Supreme Court last year. The new group of plaintiffs hopes the court will consider
a slightly different argument.

Like the previous case, the plaintiffs in this case say chairmen of the three oil companies met privately 
nearly every month starting in March 1996 for the "purpose of forming and organizing a combination." 
The lawsuit alleges executives destroyed documents from the meetings, and a defunct joint venture violated 
U.S. antitrust laws and caused artificially high wholesale gas prices in nearly every state from 1999 to 2001. 

How can anyone get justice when Bush's whore court is on the take?

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The Shrum Curse
He's 0-8, but Dems still listen to him - why?
They'd do better listening to Ol' Bart
 by super-shy Jeffery Toobin


And then there's the "Shrum curse." In his last contest, Shrum served as the chief strategist for John Kerry,
the eighth time he had worked for a Democratic Presidential candidate and his eighth loser. In lieu of a candidate,
Shrum has this summer produced a memoir, "No Excuses," a dishy recounting of his career. Page for page,
notwithstanding the title, the book probably has more excuses than concessions, and there are revealing,
and often unflattering, glimpses of his former clients: a foulmouthed Edmund Muskie, a dithering Bob Kerrey,
and a lightweight John Edwards, among others. In all, though, Shrum, who is sixty-four years old, takes on
the subject of the curse without actually acknowledging its existence.

Shrum, who's always wrong, says, "Hillary's lead in the national polls is irrelevant."

"Don't buy the champagne.
 We can still lose this!"

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That's a lot of BCR

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Subject: heat wave

It's been cooling off some here in Baghdad; it's only been getting up to 110 in the shade.  
July was brutal.  It was getting up to 120 every day for a few weeks.  The A/C units would 
get over-worked and shut down.  This Wisconsin boy's had about enough of all that.

The talk has been all about how good we Air Force guys have it.  We only deploy here for four months 
at a time (except for Security Forces, who come out here for six).  Army soldiers generally come for 
fifteen months.  What I found peculiar is that if an Army soldier gets orders cut for twelve months and 
gets extended to fifteen, he gets an extra $1,000 a month for those last three months, but if his orders 
are for fifteen he gets no extra compensation.  I can't really make any sense of that one.

I'm less than a month away from my departure date, and I'm looking forward to getting home and 
seeing my family again.  I do have it pretty good compared to a lot of guys out here (especially the soldiers), 
so I'm grateful for that.  Still, I haven't heard anybody say, "Man, I can't wait to come back here again."  
Some of the guys are pretty gung-ho at the beginning, but after a while it all just gets pretty old.  I'm seeing 
some of the same leadership problems that I read about with the Vietnam War.  Officers come out here to 
get their ticket punched, try to scrape together a few bullets to put on their resume (whether it actually improves 
anything or not), and then go on their merry way to inevitable promotion.  There may be some officers left who 
really believe in the mission and are interested in doing whatever it takes to get it done no matter the personal cost, 
but from where I'm sitting, I can't really see it.  It's mostly just about personal advancement.

Again though, I can't really speak to what's going on with the infantry guys.  I'm "in the rear with the gear".  
Soon I'll be flying back to my tropical island, from where I'll hopefully be able to close out my Air Force 
career and get back to the so-called real world.

President Clinton once remarked that the world would eventually have to decide which is more important: 
the things that divide us or the things that unite us.  In the military I can see a whole host of different regional
biases, and it strikes me that every region looks down on the other for various reasons.  Pro-U.S. chauvinism, 
ironically, runs most rampant in the part of the country that hates America more than any other.  Good old Dixie.

Keep swinging the hammer, Bart.


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I don't get it.
Padilla was tortured for years, so much that
he was unable to assist in his own defense.

How is that proof that "the system" worked?

Marty's Entertainment Page
always has good stuff.

Click on the E!

Bruce Yurgil Toon-Off Semi-Finals - Round 1 

 Click to vote for your favorite Bruce Yurgil toon

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 Iraq pumped 3.5M barrels daily before Bush invaded
 and then they got their 2003 Halliburton upgrade

Bush is stealing $220,000,000 every day.

No wonder they were so eager to start a war,

It's the biggest theft in Earth's history.

Exxon made $10B profit in 90 days
 $100M a day - all profit - because Bush started a fake war


Some people celebrate Bush's bloody oil war...

Some don't.
x 3,701....3,722

We lost  21 since last issue.
Who wants more than 3,722 soldiers killed?

by Wizard of Whimsy

How much did BIG OIL make yesterday?
Exxon makes $108M - every day

Bush can live with that,
because Iraq's oil wells have no meters
and his front company is moving to Dubai.

 $100M a day,
$200M a day,
$300M a day - where's that money going?

Bush has killed more Americans than Osama.

Why I hate Hillary
  by Mike Gravel

In an attempt to please an audience of veterans Monday, Hillary said the surge was "working" 
and gave a helping-hand to the Bush spin machine, Pentagon dead-enders and right-wing 
pundits who have already begun to quote her.

"Of course the surge is working," they'll say, "even Hillary Clinton acknowledges that!" 
Just when Congressional Democrats were beginning to grow spines and stand up against the war, 
Hillary has cut them off at the knees. 

I didn't know that Mike Gravel was a lying whore - did you?

Every transcript I've seen says she never said that 
 but why tell the truth when a lie will do?

Note: Today's first Hillary hater says Arianna published the "Surge is working" misquote.
Getting news from is like getting news from FOX News.

Notice Gravel doesn't quote her as saying that, he quotes others quoting her.
That's a goddamn cowardly way to run a losing campaign.
Where are ya, Mike?  Have you reached one percent yet?

If Hillary is the anti-Christ that Gravel and Arianna (and more) claim she is,
why do they have to fabricate quotes to make her look bad?

If she's so wrong for America, 
why not quote her correctly instead of making shit up?
If you can't beat her with the truth, go ahead and lie.
After all, it's politics, right?

I realize true Hillary haters have no use for the facts, 
but for those who want the truth Click  Here

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Lost loses Kristen Bell to Heroes



See more of  Kristen Bell  at BC Hotties


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