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 Wed-Thursday   Dec 2-3,  2009   Vol 2434 - Bug Stomp

Quote of the Day

Obama: "We Did Not Ask for This Fight"
Bush:   "We Did Not Seek This Conflict"

Obama: "New Attacks are Being Plotted as I Speak"
Bush:   "At This Moment...Terrorists are Planning New Attacks"

Obama: "Our Cause is Just, Our Resolve Unwavering"
Bush:   "Our Cause is Just, Our Coalition [is] Determined"

Obama: "This Is No Idle Danger, No Hypothetical Threat"
Bush:   "The Enemies of Freedom Are Not Idle"
      -- from


In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Arrow Franken has GOP fuming HOT
Arrow Rep. Hinchey: Bush & Bin Laden 
Arrow Huckabee's Willie Horton 
Arrow Who is Maurice Clemmons? HOT
Arrow Tiger sorry for 'transgressions'
Arrow Open letter to Obama HOT
Arrow Dems rush to abandon Obama 
Arrow Mayer's turn on Lindsay Lohan 



"The American right wing has gone off the rails, into the bushes, 
  and off the cliff. I won't be going over the cliff with them." 
     -- Dan Senor, conservative-leaning blogger, announcing his break with the birther handjobs,   Link

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Franken fallout has GOP fuming
 He made the whole GOP into rapist sympathizers 


The Republicans are steamed at Franken because partisans on the left are using a measure he sponsored 
to paint them as rapist sympathizers - and because Franken isn’t doing much to stop them...

As a comedian, talk show host and best-selling author, Franken showcased his ability to dress down Republicans 
with devastating attacks. Since becoming a senator in July, Franken has publicly tried to maintain a distance from 
that image - and aides are quick to note that Franken had nothing to do with coordinating the barrage of attacks 
waged against the Republicans.

But some of his new Republican colleagues argue that the amendment is being grossly mischaracterized - and has 
spawned attacks like the satirical website - and now question whether Franken is doing 
a good job of separating his past from his current line of work. 

ha ha

Franken didn't make you sons of bitches look bad - you did it to yourself
when you sided with Halliburton over the women they drugged and raped.

 Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!


"We turned Tora Bora 2,000 degrees when Bin Laden was there. 
  You can count me among those who think Bin Laden is dead, by the way.
      -- the vulgar Pigboy, ignoring the fact that we've gotten several bin Laden tapes 
          since Bush let his old partner escape at Tora Bora

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 Subject: The Truth about Obama's Afganistan Monologue

Obama is preempting Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown, and that just pisses me off.

But I can understand why he chose this night, the night of the yearly Charlie Brown special, to pitch his war woo. 
Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown is the story of a loser who, after being plucked from obscurity to lead the Christmas play, 
seems incapable of getting the players to cooperate, while allowing a crabby ball-snatching knowitall to undermine his authority. 

Then, when he is sent on a diversionary mission to obtain a Christmas tree, he pins his hopes on the sorriest, weakest tree 
on the lot, without even trying to negotiate for a better one. The Republicans laugh him off the stage. Even his own dog loses respect for him.

Finally, when all seems lost, Linus steps in with his magic blanket and miraculously raises the tree from the grave, 
turning it into a beautiful conifer decorated with lights stolen from an award-winning dog house.

And that's how we're gonna achieve victory in Afganistan, 
by trusting in the national security blanket of Jesus Van Pelt!


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Rep. Hinchey: Bush ‘intentionally let Bin Laden get away’


The Bush bastards permitted the world's most notorious terrorist mastermind to escape because they 
needed additional justification to invade Iraq, according to a Democratic lawmaker from New York.

Rep. Maurice Hinchey (D-NY) leveled the allegation during an interview Monday afternoon.

"Look what happened with regard to our invasion into Afghanistan, how we apparently intentionally 
let bin Laden get away," he said. "How we intentionally did not follow the Taliban and al-Qaeda as 
they were escaping. That was done by the previous administration because they knew very well that 
if they would capture al-Qaeda, there would be no justification for an invasion in Iraq."

"They deliberately let Osama bin Laden get away?" asked an incredulous David Shuster. "You really believe that?"

"Yes, I do," Hinchey replied. "There's no question about that."

Damn, straight talking from a Democrat?.

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Send Bart on a A.A.R. Cruise

Today is the last day!!

Nominate Bart so I can straighten them out :)

 Subject: Tiger's not in a box! 

Hey Bart,

No search warrant.  Charged with the Florida equivalent of reckless driving.  4 points on his license and a $165.00 fine. 
Investigation closed.  Most likely reason for the cops repeated follow up was a desire to meet Tiger and see the house. 
Cops are fans, too. 

As for the window breakage, the Escalade auto locks the doors when it reaches 7 mph.  Simplest explanation is that 
Elin saw TW unconscious, couldn’t get the door open and grabbed the nearest object to break the glass to unlock the doors. 
In their house, the nearest object is probably a golf club.  Based on my personal experiences with Elin, she is probably 
not going to be the calmest person in a crisis.  She seems to be a bit of a drama queen about things. 

This whole thing is a mountain out of mole hill. 

As for the “affair” in Australia, Tiger had his Mom with him at that tournament. 
I doubt he was boffing a bimbo with her along buying presents for the grandkids. 

Unfortunately for TW, this happened on a slow news day.
 Bill in Dallas

If he's legally innocent, then he's innocent, but Tiger made a billion dollars 
by being Mr. Clean and being forced to confess to multiple affairs doesn't help.
Refusing to talk to the police "because he wasn't legally required to" and going into hiding
sullies his once-pristeen image and his reputation. 

Order Signed Ed Hardy Books from

Subject: Tiger 

Serena Williams threatened to ram a tennis ball down the throat of a small defenseless middle aged line judge... 
she got off with $90,000 fine....   no suspension...   got to keep her doubles title trophy she won.... 
she is on a one year probation so that she will be suspended if she does it again !!!   lol      pathetic 

before that, i would have said tiger would have lost $$$ millions in endorsement deals.... 
after that i say it won't matter at all.

Amazingly, Tiger forgot which game he was playing.
Tiger's biggest asset was his public image and when he played that "I don't have to tell the cops 
how I got these injuries or why I passed out in the street" card, he won that legal battle
but he lost the reputation that put a billion dollars in his pocket.

Also, I heard that the National Enquirer has known about Tiger's mistresses 
for two years and they've been holding this over his head all that time.

Were they blackmailing him?

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 Subject: Afghanistan

 There is no exit strategy.  If you listen to what the prominent voices who favor our Afghanistan adventure they all 
have a little different reason why we are there, beyond combating terrorism, and none of them are doable.

Afghanistan has never been a country as most people understand a sovereign nation and will probably never be one 
so the idea we can ‘build a nation’ is ridiculous, expensive and fatal.  Since there is no concrete reason why we are there, 
except perhaps for the pipelines for gas and oil from the countries above Afghanistan, (there is a lot of it), to keep that 
major resource from the Chinese and Russians and, of course, to make more obscene profits for Big Oil , it seems we 
are wasting our lives and our money.  That’s inexcusable at best and could be our ultimate downfall. 
Remember what happened to Russia after her Afghan adventure?

The fact is the Bush regime did more than make us universally hated, they blew 50 years of carefully crafted statesmanship
in what is becoming to be known (again) as the grand game.  America is naked to the world and it isn’t pretty.
It’s this that is the most crippling result to the US interests world-wide.

Thanks to their greed and odd belief that the US could dominate the world, the rest of us, including the new President, 
are going to be laboring a very long time to see if we can actually dig ourselves out of the gigantic hole these psychotics dug.
I think Obama was forced into what he’s doing because nobody knows quite what to do.  Iran has nuclear capability, 
Pakistan and India both have the bomb and Pakistan could collapse.  Then the crazies who don’t mind blowing 
themselves up would have access to nuclear weapons. 

I’d favor immediate withdrawal but my gut tells me no matter what we do a world of hurt is heading our way, regardless.
 Sel in Jax

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Killing NBC Quotes

"This Friday, the official Christmas tree was delivered to the White House. Unfortunately, 
  the Secret Service had already let in three other trees that claimed they were on the list." 
     --  the very unfiunny Conan O'Brien, 

 Why doesn't NBC hire some writers for Conan?

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Pigboy vs Shatner

Huckabee's Willie Horton 
 He's proud of his deadly decision 

 "Huckabee set me free and I killed 4 cops."


Mike Huckabee needs to shut up, for his own good.  He cannot stop talking about the Maurice Clemmons case. 
The more he does, the worse he sounds.

"If I had the exact same information in front of me tonight that I did 9 years ago in a case exactly the same, I would 
make the exact same decision," Huckabee told WLFI-TV on Tuesday.  He said the same thing on Hannity's show. 
This statement is beyond ignorant.  It reveals a man who simply is unable to admit he was wrong. 

Huckabee has accepted responsibility for granting clemency to Maurice Clemmons, although he did not 
in his initial statement.  He also attaches numerous excuses and points the blame elsewhere. 


Who is Maurice Clemmons? 


 This will probably kill Huckabee's chances for the GOP nomination.

 Oh, the Democrats would NEVER use it against him because listing the facts isn't nice.
 But the Rethugs in the primaries will call him "another Michael Dukakis" who's soft on crime.

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"Clemmons should have stayed locked up like the jury wanted him and we wouldn't be having this discussion. 
  I just have been figuratively holding my breath and hoping something like this wouldn't happen. I just think that 
  a lot of the people that were subjects of clemency during that period of time were some very dangerous people 
  who didn't need to be let out...My word to Mr. Huckabee is man up and own what you did."
      -- Pulaski County Prosecutor Larry Jegley, whose office opposed Clemmons' parole in 2000 and 2004, 
          and who says Mike Huckabee screwed up by freeing the number of prisoners he did,,   Link


"It really does show how sick our society has become that people are more concerned about a campaign 
  three years from now than those grieving families in Washington. It is disgusting, but people use anything 
  as a political weapon."
      -- Mike Huckabee, saying Poppy Bush was wrong to run on Willie Horton raping white women in 1988,   Link

    "Your wife is hot..."

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 Subject: President Obama's War?

When did Afghanistan become Obama's war? 
The way I remember it Bush started the war in 2002 back when nobody knew who Obama was. 
Now it's Obama's war? Give me a break! 

This war would have been over if Bush hadn't pulled the troops out and sent them to Iraq to fight a useless war there. 
This war is Bush's war, the Republican's war, and the American people's war for being stupid enough to elect Bush in the first place. 
It's only Obama's war to the extent that Obama has to clean up all the messes Bush left him, war, bailouts, deficit, and unemployment.

Marc Perkel
My blog:
Founder of the Church of Reality
"Reality Based Voter"

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State Marijuana Penalties


Tiger apologizes for 'transgressions'


Tiger Woods offered a "profound apology" to his family and fans Wednesday as he was linked to a third reported mistress. 
"I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart," Woods wrote on his Web site. 

"I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves." 
Woods did not name any names, and he said he was "far short of perfect" off the links. ( as if he's perfect on the links)

"I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family," he wrote in a plea for privacy.

"For all of those who have supported me over the years, I offer my profound apology," he wrote. 

Look like several women have come forward.

Someone said Tiger told a friend he'll have to "pull a Kobe"
and buy his wife a ring that costs as much as a home.

It's also rumored Tiger said his wife "went ghetto" on him with that golf club..

Can a girl this white "go ghetto" on a Black man?

And that Uchitel girl from BCR 160 who denied having sex with Eldrick?
Turns out Tiger paid for her ticket to Australia - odd to do that and then not see her.

She's holding a press conference today to call herself a liar. 

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Open letter to Obama
 by Michael Moore


Dear President Obama, 

Do you really want to be the new "war president"? If you go to West Point tomorrow night (Tuesday, 8pm) and announce 
that you are increasing, rather than withdrawing, the troops in Afghanistan, you are the new war president. Pure and simple.
And with that you will do the worst possible thing you could do -- destroy the hopes and dreams so many millions have placed in you. 
Your ppeech will turn a multitude of young people who were the backbone of your campaign into disillusioned cynics. 
You will teach them what they've always heard is true -- that all politicians are alike. 
I simply can't believe you're about to do what they say you are going to do. Please say it isn't so. 

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"While I support our president, Condoleezza Rice and the administration, 
   I want to know that we have an exit plan in place." 
     --  Sarah Palin, March 1, 2007,   Link 

"Talk of an exit date risks sending the wrong message. 
  A timetable lets our enemies believe they can wait us out."
     --  Sarah Palin,  Dec 1, 2009,   Link 

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Dems rush to abandon Obama


"I oppose sending 30,000 additional troops because I am not persuaded that it is indispensable in our fight against Al Qaeda," 
Specter said in a statement. “It is unrealistic to expect the United States to be out in 18 months so there is really no exit strategy. 
This venture is not worth so many American lives or the billions it will add to our deficit."

There are others besides Specter, of course. Congress' liberal wing, predictably, has come out to oppose the surge, but it's hardly 
shocking to see opposition from card carrying progressives like Sens. Russ Feingold and Bernie Sanders or Rep. Dennis Kucinich, 
or to hear that some anti-war members want a vote on the whole thing, and soon. But it's not just them -- Obama's friends are 
distancing themselves, too.

Sen. Dick Durbin had plenty of reasons to come out in support of Obama's decision and Durbin is a member of his party's leadership. 
But even he took a bit of a shot at the president Tuesday night, echoing criticism that's been coming from the right lately when he said, 
"President Obama asked for time to make his decision on a new policy in Afghanistan. I am going to take some time to think through 
the proposal he presented tonight."

Other senior Democrats were similarly unwilling to come out in favor of the plan to send 30,000 additional troops to the war. 
"For me it boils down to whether or not there is a convincing answer to this question: What can realistically be achieved, and is it worth 
putting our soldiers' lives on the line, at a million dollars a troop, as our economy continues to struggle here at home?" Sen. Pat Leahy, 
D-Vt., said. 'At this point I am not convinced that the hole dug earlier by a thousand bad decisions can be paved over at all'."

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Subject: religion 

Hey Bart,

Me again; your page today is just getting me going!  Your post about catholics is right on, they damned sure should 
be stripped of their tax exempt status, just like the Mormons here in Utah.  If you want to sit in a cave or monastery 
or mountaintop and think about Jeebus, then fine; but if you want to interfere in politics then you should pay taxes. 

I had to laugh at what you said about "don't you want to sleep in on Sunday?" 
When I was a kid my mother would drag me to the southern baptist church to hear how I was going to HELL! 
AND DAMNATION because, well, I never figured that part out.  And there was my dad, drinking coffee, 
reading the paper, and smoking cigarettes.  "I Wanna stay home with dad!" was usually met with a slap and there I went.

Here's rdale's take on religion: it's all about power and money, pandering to mankinds greatest fear: what happens when you die. 
Oog the Neanderthal figured out that if he told Moog, his fellow cave-dweller, that he knew what happened when you died and 
therefore Moog should give Oog his woman and the meat from the mammoth, it's never changed from that day to this. 

There is absolutely no difference between a naked savage dancing around a fire with a dead chicken 
in each hand and the Pope in his Hitler Youth, I mean his fancy Prada robes and expensive shoes. 
Money and power, nothing else.

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The Reality Behind Obama’s Afghanistan 


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Subject: Democrats considering "nuclear option" to pass health care reform

Democrats frustrated with the Republicans filibustering every bill are considering "going nuclear" on the filibuster rule. 
The filibuster is neither law nor in the constitution and is merely a Senate rule that can be changed. 

In May of 2005 when the Republicans had power, Frist and Cheney floated the idea called the "Nuclear Option" 
as a way of getting rid of the filibuster rule and returning the Senate to majority rule. The mere treat of going nuclear 
led to the "Gang of 14" senators who came together to preserve the filibuster through a compromise.

Now it is the Democrats who are in charge and some of them are now rethinking the wisdom of preserving this senate rule. 
The mere threat of envoking it might lead to a modification of the rule, perhaps lowering the threshold from 60 to 55 votes. 
And if the Democrats go ahead it will be more difficult for the Republicans to stop it because the Democrats have a far larger 
majority than the Republicans did in 2005.
 Paul H

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Subject: DADGAD 

Hey Bart,
Why did you name your last issue after a guitar tuning?

Each issue needs a name - that just popped into my head.

Laurence Juber (former guitarist of Wings) refers to standard (EADGBE) as MISSIONARY tuning.
har har

Ed in Mission Viejo, CA

I recently saw a TV special on Physical Grafitti, which some people say is the 
hardest-rocking album of all time and they said Jimmy played Kashmir in that tuning.

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