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WELCOME TO BARTCOP.COM A modem, a smart mouth and the truthNews and Commentary NOT Approved by Karl Rove, bcause vicious extremists can NOT be appeased.

BCR #160 is here
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 Tuesday  Dec 23,  2009 Vol 2443 - Raisin Takit 

Quote of the Day

"The US economy is not suitable 
  for investment right now..." 
      -- Pigboy, betting on America to lose - again


In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Arrow Bolivian glacier disappears HOT
Arrow Presidential Puppets 
Arrow Oklahoma's Dingbat Delegation 
Arrow Lefty Rage at Obama HOT
Arrow Howard Dean: "It's not fair" 
Arrow Evil Russell robbed on SurvivorHOT
Arrow Rethug raped his daughters 
Arrow Stacy Keibler on HIMYM


Order Signed Ed Hardy Books from


"Robert Byrd has been around a very long time, and his many decades of service have made 
  West Virginia a wonderful state in which to manufacture methamphetamine or frame the locals for murder. 
  But it's time for Senator to do the right thing, and expire. Even a nice coma would do."
     -- Confederate Handjob,     Link

 There's one clear difference between the two parties.
 The Democrat would wish for their political enemies to retire.
 But when somebody wants the guy on the other side of the aisle f-ing dead,
 we know you're dealing with a Rethug or a religiously insane handjob - or both.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Glaciers then (1940) and now
  by Sweat Jesus can you please save us?

The Chacaltaya glacier, 5,300m (17,400 ft) up in the Andes, used to be the world's highest ski run. 
But it has been reduced to just a few small pieces of ice. 

Many Bolivians depend on the melting of the glaciers for their water supply during the dry season. 
The team of Bolivian scientists started measuring the Chacaltaya glacier in the 1990s. Not long ago they were predicting 
that it would survive until 2015. But now it seems, the glacier has melted at a much faster rate than they expected. 

Photos taken in the last two weeks show that all that is left of the majestic glacier, which is thought to be 18,000 years old, 
are a few lumps of ice near the top.   See how the glacier has retreated since 1940 

Just 20 years ago skiers from all round the world would travel to Chacaltaya 
to say they had skied down the world's highest ski run. 

Butt, since Jim Inhofe rules the United States, and because the Obama and the Democrats have refused
to come to work because they have no Bartcop in them, global warming continues to be denied.

It's SO EASY to rub the facts in the faces of the lying sons of bitches,
why can't some elected Democrat gather the sac and finally stand up and say it?

Earth's house is on fire, and the anti-science,
cloud-worshipping deniers say everything's OK!

If Democrats had ruled in the 1400's, globes would be illegal because their troglodyte opponents 
would say "Anybody with a lick of sense knows the Earth is flat, " and that's that.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

So I get this e-mail Xmas card from Sarah Palin.
(I call it "x-mas" just to piss her off :)

First, it says "Paid for by PubHoPAC."
Really, sarah?
You billed your PAC for an e-mail you sent out?

Then, it says "Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's commitee."
Really, Sarah?
Why did you send an unauthorized e-mail to me?

Sarah, admit it - you're too damn stupid to be president.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Subject: Your poker skills

What do you mean......they broke up your table.....the only table you could win at? 
What's the matter with you?  Go win at another table. 

I got to know this table, I knew who was real and who wasn't.
I was f-ing Nancy Grace - I could read their minds after a while...

I got lucky and had someone who loves poker come to Breckenridge this week. 
16k later...your pal's way, he says uncle with a lot of cursing. The funny thing is the last time 
he and I played I got stuck about 10K and upped the stakes and got down to a 2K loser 
and he got pissed because I came back and he quit before the agreed upon time deadline. 

This time when he got stuck 2K, I said of course I'll go along with a stake raise and play till whatever 
time you want, because that's what you do when you are a better poker player than your opponent 
and a gentleman to boot.  Maybe you lose back what you won, but odds are, you break a piggy. 

Let's have a festival in Breckenridge when pot's legal (after Jan. 1.) 

Don't make too big a deal advertising what is common knowledge because the local heat 
feels like out of towners might get the wrong impression....pot is legal...wait a minute...pot is legal.

Frank, I look forward to it.
I got to smoke legal some pot in the Rockies in '09 and I want to do it again.
The religiously-insane, pro-Jack Danilels crowd can't imagine a benign high.
Why do drugs that don't make you want to beat your wife?

I can see it now...

A friendly game of small-ball poker, 
a little live Shirley on the video, 
a little Chinaco, maybe even the good stuff?
a little bit of some legal God's flowers...

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, I'd go to this even if I was broke.

Some people want to make this a ski-vacation too, so when should we do it?
March?  April?
When will there still be enough snow but unlikely to have a roads-closing blizzard?

I don't care if we get snowed in afterwards.

  I know the answer to that, Bart!  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

I'll say it again.
If we're wrong, we squandered some money.

If oil-bought, religiously-insane Jim Inhofe is wrong,
his great-grandchildren might not die of natural causes.

Can you understand how frustrating it is to be 
the dumbest guy in the room and always be right?

Presidential Puppets 

I see Obama is reading some Christmas book to some third graders.
Can't those kids read "Mt Pet Goat" without the president?

This is such bullshit and it needs to stop.

If I was elected president (Good luck, America!) when my mother hen ran in the room and said, 
"Mr. President, on Tuesday you're reading poems to some third graders," I'd say, "Fuck that."

I grew up Catholic and never once even had some mayor show up to talk to us.

But I was once at a Catholic dinner in St Louis where I met the real Col.f-ing Sanders from KFC. 

So why is Obama taking the precious time he needs to solve America's problems 
by acting like Der Monkey Fuhrer messing with some damn school kids?

I don't mean to damn the school kids, I damn the process that pushed them into his day.
Thos kids would be better off if they never met Obama because he was too busy saving America.

 Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Help  survive!


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Subject: Cruises to the North Pole 


That's genius! 
It's just what is needed to raise awareness, cruises to the North Pole. 
Carnival or whoever can run it, but they may even start a special line, 
called Apocalypse for these kind of Enviro-holocost tours.
 Jonathan K

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Subject: is there global warming?


    Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

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"Dear President Obama, Thanks for no help in Maine, no real support for the public option, 
  hiring folks like Rahm Emanuel and Jim Messina to push Congressional leaders to cave to 
  Joe Lieberman and Blue Dogs, and caving on core Democratic initiatives of late, such as 
  re-importation of cheaper prescription drugs. I am appreciative of the smaller initiatives you 
  have undertaken, but in 2010, please stop throwing progressive allies under the bus and 
  screwing up major progressive initiatives. As a holiday gift, I am enclosing a gift certificate 
  to a semester-long class on Negotiation 101. I hope you put it to good use."
      -- Adam Bink,   Link

 In 2004, Kerry took out a mortage on his home to get the money he needed to win Iowa.
 Then he went wind surfing off Cape Cod for a month while the Swiftboaters swayed public opinion.

 In 2008, Obama's followers spread the lie that the Clintons were racists to win Iowa.
 A year later, he vacationed at Cape Cod for a month while the Teabaggers swayed public opinion.

 Why do Democrats start a fight and then go to sleep?

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Oklahoma's Dingbat Delegation
 by Richard Fricker 


If it's DeceIt is a curious day indeed when, among Oklahoma’s Washington delegation, John Sullivan sounds sane. 
Sens. Jim Inhofe and Tom Coburn have again displayed their posteriors to the national press, bringing the nation’s 
attention to bear on Oklahoma voters.

Sen. Coburn is attempting to stop health care legislation by requesting that each senator be required to read each piece 
of legislation offered for a vote and that each item be read into the record in full. Coburn told a press conference he 
asked for the reading because, “This reading will provide a dose of transparency that has been lacking in this debate.” 
The keyboard shudders when using “Coburn” and “transparency” in the same sentence.


  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Lefty Rage at Obama


I've been trying not to write an article every other week about all the things I don't like about Obama.
But the little prick is making it very hard.

Did this clown really say on national television that "I did not run for office to be helping out 
a bunch of you know, fat cat bankers on Wall Street"?!?!

Really, Barack? 
So, why the hell did you help out a bunch of fat cat bankers on Wall Street?!?! 

Are you going to tell us that "I did not run for office to be shovel-feeding the military-industrial complex"? 
But what - they're just so darned pushy?

"...I did not run for office to continue George Bush's valiant effort at shredding the Bill of Rights. 
It's just that those government-limiting rules are so darned pesky."

"...I did not run for office to dump a ton of taxpayer money into the coffers of health insurance companies. 
It's just that they asked so nicely."

"...I did not run for office to block equality for gay Americans. 
I just never got around to doing anything about it."

I wish Obama could recognize there's a problem here.

  Send e-mail to Bart  | Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog

Subject: legal flowers 

Hey Bart,

Your legal flowers comment set me to reminiscing. 
Back in the 70s I was visiting Ann Arbor, Michigan, from Beantown (actually, I was selling a passel of Thai sticks, 
but that's another story), and couldn't resist approaching a cop on the sidewalk, blowing some sweet, oily smoke 
in his direction, and requesting a citation. 

He seemed reluctant, but I told him how much I'd enjoy showing the ticket to my friends back home, 
so he wrote me up for a $5 fine. He was a good sport, because he knew I'd never pay it. 
Those were the days. Mayhap such happy days are here again...

A happy holiday season to you and Mrs. Bart and the kitties, 
and may the new year treat us all at least a little more kindly.
 Bob in Prague

Bob, come see us in Colorado :)

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Mike Malloy Live

Subject: Bartcop Helps Tiger and Conan 

I like Conan O'Brien, but I think Bartcop is waaay funnier. 
So, NBC should hire Bartcop to write for Conan.

You have been right on in your assessment of Tiger Woods' current situation, 
and even after years of the BartHex you've been very fair to him.

You've been sticking to the facts and offering your best advice, which I think he should take.
 Robert C

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Marty's has new stuff every day
on her tons-of-fun Entertainment Page

Marty always has good stuff.


Click on the E!


Why does Chris Matthews call Evil Dick "Cheeney?"

I was watching him the other day and not only does he mispronounce his name,
but he asked why everyone in the country pronounced Evil Dick's name incorrectly.

Hey Tweety, as much as I dislike Cheney, 
I believe he's smart enough to know how to pronounve his own f-ing name.

Are you, stupid?

"Maybe, or maybe 
  I'm a whore.   Haaa!"

    Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Howard Dean: "It's not fair"
  by Joe Conason


Howard Dean proved long ago that he marches to the beat of his own conscience and
he remains unswerving in his opposition to the Senate Democrats' healthcare bill.

What irks him the most in the current bill, he said, is that it permits insurance companies to charge as much as 
300 percent more to some customers than others. So even though they must provide coverage to anyone who 
applies -- known as "guaranteed issue" -- the price differential that can be charged to older or sicker customers 
virtually erases that promise. 

"If you have to pay $20,000 a year for insurance, what good does it do if you have guaranteed issue?" he asked. 
'Which is in fact what you'd have to pay if they can charge you three times as much as they do ordinary people. 
They have 300 percent rate differences in that bill.'"

On a crazy-complicated issue like health care reform, I trust the top Democrats because
I don't have the time to get into something like that - but can we trust this health care bill?

Obama hasn't lifted a finger to get what he wants, so whose health care bill is this?
Harry Reid's?
Kissyface the traitor's?
Mitch the Bitch McConnell's?

This time, there's nobody to trust.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

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I'm not that upset with Obama, I just have a
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"Dick Cheney is one of the most devious, unpatriotic, self serving, slimy, parasitic 
  war profiteering scumbags in American history to ever hold a major public office.
  When it comes to America he has "other priorities"...himself." 
      -- flavorino,   Link

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State Marijuana Penalties

Al Franken makes them suck it.

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"That's the first thing I think when important issues occur..."What would Sarah do?" 
  A pox on John Mccain for giving this no-one a voice."
     --  ender

   Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Subject: What a week!


After a brutal fight of several weeks, Co- President Lieberman and Vice President Ben Nelson announced their 
version of a health care reform bill.  This struggle, which effectively neutered Progressives and muzzled moderates, 
finally came to an end. Both Lieberman and Nelson are happy with the bill, as are the insurance companies they represent. 

In the end, these two got everything they wanted. Yes, it meant they had to make Co-President Obama look a 
little weak and passive, and gave the hint that it might be Rahm Emanuel who was pulling the strings in this fight.

President Obama  however claims to be happy with the progress made. He was losing sleep over the prospect o
f not having any bill at all to sign.

To the relief of almost all, those that were for a different version of a bill in the beginning, one with a public option, 
medicare buy-in, with no abortion restrictions, ( just to name a few), have fallen in line and have changed their tunes. 
Let the platitudes begin.

(Many in fact, will need to use their own health care, to repair their arms that were twisted up and back, very hard).
So next up......reconcile the House & Senate bills. 
However Nelson says f any changes are made-he like HIS version- he'll object.
It's not your father's Democratic party anymore........

God help us, because the Democrats sure can't.
 Mary Lou

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

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Evil Russell robbed on Survivor


I wouldn't want to go up against Russell Hantz.  In "Survivor's" nineteen seasons, 
Russell was the very first contestant not to wait for clues to find the immunity idol. 
Noooo, not Russell. 

With Russell it was "Game ON" from the get-go.  Probably in the airport for the flight over.

Once on the island, Russell immediately started looking for the immunity idols. 
And he found them too.  Yes, plural.  No one had ever done that before.
But Russell didn't win the game.

The jury voted for the dishrag girl who never did anything to win.
Some say it was a karmic payback for how he lied and cheated a game where lying and cheating is part of the game. 

Survivor is like poker (everything is, actually.)
You're supposed to stab your friends in the back, but some people don't get that.

One idiot even said, "I'd rather lose the million dollars than break my word."

It's not like Tiger vowing to stay true to his wife - it's a damn game on TV.

The guy who scored all the touchdowns didn't win because the losers were jealous,
so they gave the million to a weak player who sat on the bench the entire game - weird.

But viewers voted Russell into $100K, so things could be worse.
...but I know you'd admit to voting for Bush sooner than admit you watched this show - and that's OK.

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Rethug raped his daughters 

       "Do I look guilty to you?"


Former South Dakota lawmaker Ted Klaudt does not like all of the stories being written about him. 
Most politicians are delighted with coverage but Klaudt is best known for raping his foster daughters. 
Klaudt’s solution (after failing to prove innocence) was to copyright his name and demand that newspapers 
ask his permission to use his name 20 days before any article or face millions in penalties for unauthorized use.

It is a clever idea that only lacks a basis in the law to work. You cannot copyright your name in this way. 
You can make your name a trademark but only for business and services — not journalistic stories.

There are few people who would want to infringe on the trademark name of Ted Klaudt.

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Subject: Donation

Love ya', bro. Merry Koreshmas.
 Philip on Cockle Hill Rd

Philip, that was cool. Thanks for that 
and a Merry Koreshmas to you, too.

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Stacy Keibler on HIMYM


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