TIME judges her sister, CNN
In the first quarter of 2010, CNN lost nearly
half its prime-time audience from a year ago.
CNN prime time even finished behind its little
sibling, HLN. CNN, however, says that its profits
continue to grow healthily and that it reaches
more individual viewers per month than Fox or MSNBC.
But every media maven and his sister have been
offering "What should CNN do?" advice:
More hard news! More infotainment! Bring back
Crossfire! Stay away from Crossfire!
The answer for CNN is not to abdicate its authority
but to use it more aggressively.
Today, with technology making raw news a commodity,
the challenge for consumers is sorting out
politicized counterclaims on everything from
health care to meteorology to security. Viewers want
someone to cut through the kicked-up partisan
dust. They want to hear, flat out, when someone is full of it.
CNN too often gives both sides, then shrugs.
A CNN anchor interviewing two party hacks and leaving us
to decide who we should believe doesn't cut it.
I have some suggestions:
CNN acts as stupid as a Democrat.
All they have to do is watch what FOX is doing and do that,
but CNN doesn't even have the brains to execute a "Monkey
see, Monkey do" operation.
If CNN would be to the Left what FOX is to the right,
they'd gain the ratings lead.
CNN is trying so hard to BE Fox,
but like with elections, why watch FOX Lite when you can watch FOX?
By pretending to "show both sides" they end up interviewing
a Harvard Doctor and a nutty-ass Teabagger
and they present both sides as equals which is helping
to destroy their network.
A good example is the age of the Grand Canyon.
The pointy headed harvard Geologist says the GC is at
least 16,000 years old.
The Teabagger says God told him he make it just 600 years
ago, when the dinosaurs roamed.
CNN says, "There you have it
- you decide who's sane."
CNN is always doing one hour
or two hour shows on Darfur or the obesity epidemic.
Meanwhile, FOX is using those hours to attack and defame
and destroy Obama.
Like the Democrats, CNN will accept the ratings lead if
if falls into their lap
but they damn sure aren't going to work for it.
Wolf the Douche - how does CNN
expect to be taken seriously when Blitzer is a laughing stock?
Howie Kurtz - he's the "media
watchdog" who "asks the tough questions" that always end with,
"Both sides do it, and thanks
for watching," but that's a lie.
Stop the ultra-whoring teasing.
"A political figure has been shot. Tune in tonight
to see who it was and if he lived."
How about you pretend you're in the f-ing NEWS busniness,
instead of the
Their goal is to see if they can make you sit thru another
bank of commerials for FredCreditReport.com
and "What's in your wallet" and those constant shills
about how great and generous BIG OIL is.
Why can't CNN run real commerials for companies
like Coke, Chevy and Kelloggs?
Maybe the anchors should stop
thinking they're God. When you watch a "debate" on CNN,
the anchor will only allow the debaters a sentence
or two each, then they cut them off because
it's a cime if the anchor doesn't have their vpoice
chiming in every ten secoinds or so.
Don't you hate when they cut
away from a serious debate on Wall Street or Health Care,
(Let's pretend those things exist) by saying, "That's
all we have time for," and then they
cut to a meaningless story about some panda at the National
Zoo getting a new girlfriend?
How about you guys rotate - even numbered hours are for
and odd numbered hours are bullshit, fluff news, Briney/Paris
news and basketball?
One of these days, perhaps in
our lifetime an HONEST NEWS ORGANIZATION will surface
and they'll get 70% of the viewers and CNN will
marvel at how they achieved that.
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