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Have you seen Oprah this week?
I don't watch Oprah, but I know what it is...A few weeks ago, they taped some shows in Australia.
News reports said Hugh Jackman attempted to fly in on a Zip wire.
He was supposed to land on the stage but - the story goes -
"the scenery was so beautiful, he wasn't concentrating on hittng the brake."
So, I thought that'd be fun to watch so I taped Tuesday's show.
Damn, that's creeeeeeepy - that Oprah show.
Oprah flew maybe 300 of her biggest fans to Australia and first thing,
they split into groups with maybe 30 people in a group.
Then they'd send a group out to, say, a shrimp-on-the-barbie on the beach.
The fans partied and had a great time - when Oprah sneaks up on them.
Boom!
Up pops Oprah and these people go totally catatonic and orgasmic at the same time.
They can not believe they are sharing air with Oprah.
They cried and they jumped up and down like kids who need to pee.
Geez, the Beatles fans at the New York airport in 1964 were sedate by comparison.
So they mug for the cameras and Oprah tells them how the little moments
mean the most (ha ha - easy to say when you made $5 billion last year.)
and she stayed a while but then it was time for her to go.
...to the next ambush/worship orgy.
Sure enough, Oprah sneaks up on the next group and surprises them!
Boom!
Up pops Oprah and these people go totally catatonic and orgasmic at the same time.
They can not believe they are sharing air with Oprah.
They cried and they jumped up and down like kids who need to pee.
Geez, Times Square after V-J Day was calm compared to this crowd.
but then it's time for her to go. ...to the next ambush/worship orgy.
It's creepy as hell.
I'm not sure I've ever seen that level or worship before.
Not movie stars, not music stars, not politicians.
And Oprah's willingness to rub elbows with the little people.
You don't see that very often.
...but then it's time for her to go. ...to meet her "ultimate fan."
I only saw the first few seconds, but apparently, years ago, Oprah told an Aussie
housewife that she'd "drop by" next time she was in her Australian neighborhood.
So Oprah and her camera crew went to this housewife's place un-announced,
and they captured the fan's super-surprised face when she opened the door
and saw that IT WAS OPRAH!!! AT HER DOOR!!!! OMG!!!! OMG!!!!
Trouble is, the camera crew showed her answering the door from the inside.
Duh!
If she's Oprah's biggest Ozzie fan (that's what they call them - Ozzies) then she knows
Oprah's on her continent - so who in the FRIG was she expecting outside her door just
minutes after Oprah's camera crew introduced themselves to get permission to come inside?
And, as you'd expect, this housewife went totally catatonic and orgasmic at the same time.
She could not believe she was sharing air with Oprah.
She cried and she jumped up and down like a kid who needed to pee.
Geez, New Orleans after the last Superbowl was calm compared to this woman.
Geez, no wonder Obama won (just kidding...)
Is there a limit to the orgams one can have in Oprah's presence?
So the purpose of this trip ....was to be sure America knew
how incredibly much her fans love her with all their hearts.
Whoops, I hear cheering. (The show's on now)
Oprah must be gifting another group of 30 with her presence.
I'm guessing she never gets tired of her fans showing their love.
Plus, she handled it perfectly!
She knew to split the crowd into 8-10 groups to get 8-10 group reactions on film.
If you doubt me, set your VTR for today or Friday.
Then write and tell me, "That wasn't creepy at all!"
Claimer:
I don't dislike Oprah.
I was legitimately shocked at the level of Oprah-worship I saw
and her "among the people" schtick got real old for me real quick.
And no, RMann, I didn't write this because Oprah is Black.