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Bartcop Radio Preface

For those of you, who have not yet had the pleasure, allow me to briefly describe BartCop Radio.

Every show begins with an intro, (Howard Beal kicks off each show) recorded after all of the pieces have been recorded, 
followed by the actual show, and a signoff, also recorded after the show.  Bart began with a checklist during the intro in the 
earlier shows, but seems to have memorized it somewhere along the way, so he no longer has to refer to it to be sure to cover 
all of the bases.  I suppose this means he is getting better.   Sometimes the intro is short, generally describing in brief what is to come. 

The fun ones, though, are those in which he, in the middle of the intro, does something like, “Oh…oh…let me tell you about…” 
or words to that effect.  Rarely a rant, this is usually a light, often humorous, aside that may or may not have anything to do with the upcoming show. 

Which leads me to Bart’s style.  Somewhere along the way, probably show 62?, Bart (or Tommy) played a jazz guitar (Kenny Burell?) 
version of My Favorite Things.  You know the kind of thing.  It starts out playing the theme exactly, once or twice, then starts to play 
around the theme, and then goes off into wonderlands never imagined by Richard Rodgers, before returning to the theme to remind the listener. 
That’s kind of how Bart does his parts of the show.   Think of My Grandfather’s Goat, but mostly on-topic, and with an end.  It’s kind of like that. 

Bart is a jazz essayist, except his essays are verbal.  He couldn’t write them for the page any more than jamming musicians could write down
their riffs and have them remain vital and alive.   (I don’t know if he writes them before he does them, or if he has some notes, or what, but if 
we can believe Bart, and if you can’t believe Bart, who can you believe?, he sometimes does an impromptu cold reading of the newspaper, 
so maybe he never writes down a bit?)

He’ll read a headline from the US Whore Today, for example, and spend two or three minutes dissecting it, and following the signs 
divulged by the entrails into related, often orthogonal, topics, and finally return to the article in hand.   Then a sentence or two, followed 
by something like, “And another thing that I just don’t get…” and off he goes into another sidebar exposing his almost stream of conscious,
punctuated by the occasional gaffe (always flagged by the catchword, “Ready?” and a repeat of the flubbed line, sometimes two or three times over) 
or Bart laugh.  It’s distinctive. 

Bart has many voice styles, not as an imitator (though he does a creditable Pig Boy), but more as an indicator of the tone of the piece 
he’s reading.  Angry, bemused, scared (ohhhh, you don’t want to get between Mrs. Bart and her Survivor!).  He uses some catch phrases, 
my favorite of which is, “You know it; I know it; Bob Dole knows it; the American people know it.”  See what I mean?  It just doesn’t fly 
as written words.  It has to be heard.

Let’s get on with the Big Big Show!  Apparently Bart records his stuff, and sends it to Tommy Mack to produce.  Somewhere along the way 
there are brief musical interludes placed between sections of the show.  Usually these are unrelated to what’s been or to be, but not always. 
Lots of Shirley, sometimes Dean Martin, or Satchmo, or other surprisingly unZeppelinish music.  Probably Tommy.  There will often be a 
segment of brief clips from Leno, Dave, Stewart, Maher or David Spade with no real unifying theme, just funny bits that can stand rehearing. 

We’ll often be treated to La Perspectife Femme, from Tally, a professional voice among the children.  Not nearly often enough a conversation 
between Tommy and Bart during which they cover every topic it’s possible to cover.  Occasionally Bart inserts a whole segment of a comedian 
covering a topic, though rarely Richard Pryor.   Sometimes we get treated to letters from listeners.  Very rarely we get Monkey Mail. 
Pretty often we get letters to the editor of Time, or the US Whore Today, or one of the dailies. 

Every show ends with a complete song from somewhere. 
And there you have it.  Bart Cop Radio. 
You gotta listen to understand.

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