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Buzzcook's Idol Gives Back Review
Well I made a big mistake last night. Usually
I find a set list on the net before the show starts,
then type along with each performance during
the show and commercials. For Idol Gives Back
I thought I’d just find a set list and fill it
out from memory.
Well imagine my surprise that there isn’t a set
list for the big give back show. So I read a bunch of reviews
that mentioned a couple people but not others
or mentioned what some people sang but skipped others.
I also learned just how much some TV writers
are willing to suck up to Ryan Seacreast.
Oh and Momma Sox isn’t mad at Ryan and she didn’t
almost quit and and and I never want to know
this much about the Idol kids again in my life
ever. ha ha
The show started with the 12 finalists all singing
the melody of some white bread song. That is one of the things
I hate about night two of Idol the kids doing
a hyper simple version of a song and doing hyper simple choreography
and sounding like hyper simpletons. Hell just
stand them up on choir bleachers and give them robes and choir books,
it’d be more exciting. Geez on Stones night 2
they could have done “Can’t Always Get What You Want”.
So it was nice to see that the 5 missing kids
hadn’t done injury to themselves in the mean time.
Given that we’ve had to put up with the Disney
boy wannabes and the degradation of boring Mike,
quirky girl and rocker boy, makes me miss a couple
of them.
Well there was a queen and a spice girl and a
real skinny girl.
Then the Black Eyed Peas did a lousy version
of a song in which I swear a guy sang an entire verse flat as a pancake.
Geez guys it’s a classic, if you can’t make it
your own then don’t mess with it.
Ryan goes to Africa and even his glib and unctuous
manner can’t lessen the impact of people living in poverty with real needs.
While Idol is stupid fluff, anything that gives
comfort to the afflicted is praiseworthy.
George Lopez is the least funny comic we will
see tonight.
He does a high school level skit that is notable
only in how much he sucks up to Ellen.
I agree - I like George OK, he just wasn't funny
that night.
And why give him so much time on such a big night?
I could understand if his show was on FOX...
Jeff Beck is a great guitarist. Joss Stone is
a pretty girl with a pretty voice. I may make fun of Bette Midler
but she knows how to shred a song. Midler’s version
of “I Put a Spell on You”, from a Disney movie,
was miles better than what we heard last night.
I just hope Beck is getting some.
Morgan Freeman shows up and Randy gets to ride along as we see that red states have real problems.
Alicia Keyes is a pretty girl with a pretty voice
and lots of talent. For some reason I’m reminded of show tunes
and the great American songbook when I hear her.
We would have been better off if they had just given the whole show to
her.
Ok there are two lame comedians (tall skinny Brit
guy and a short fat American guy. (Laurel and Hardy should sue)
that pop up every once in a while doing a lame
phone bank skit. Was that really octo-mom? Yes,
that was really her - and Slash.
Jim Carrey puts a predictable end to it several
hours after it had died.
Carrie Underwood is another pretty girl with a
pretty face and lots of talent. She does a promo of her new album that
sounds
pretty darn good for a pop/country song. Give
half of the show to her and half to Alicia and we’d have an interesting
show.
Ellen gives David Arquette some screen time and notices that there are poor people in America.
David Cook, a pretty boy with a pretty voice from
a couple of Idols ago, shows up in Africa and shows what being a
pretty boy rocker is all about. Maybe if we stuck
Casey in a hut in Africa he’d sing it with some feeling. ha
ha
At any rate Cook gives us an idea of what Idol
would look like if Crystal had some competition.
Annie Lennox sings while wearing a shirt that
says HIV Positive.
She just does it to advertise the 22 million
folks in Africa with the disease. I’m glad Annie doesn’t have HIV.
I also think we should give half the show to
Annie, half to Carrie, and half to Alicia. Hey they went overtime - it
would work.
Oh and I still see the pretty girl with the amazing
voice and lots of talent.
Mary K Blige and Randy team up to do some seventies boy band song. It doesn’t suck.
Simon goes to America and has the good manners
to not mention that if America had universal health care
as Britain does, his Arizona segment wouldn’t
be necessary.
Elton John does his lounge act. I’m trying to remember if Elton ever really rocked. Help me here cause I got nothing.
About 40 years ago Elton did Crocodile Rock.
I think that was his last non-funeral dirge.
OK the big moment is upon us. I think this is
Casey’s first time in the bottom three. Aaron and his soul twin Tim are
with him.
I’m expecting to see Aaron go. Then to my amazement
Jesus wept and god gives up on Tim.
I kinda feel sorry for Jezuz, but he gave it
a good try and it’s not like he can do miracles.
BTW give to the charity of your choice.
May I recommend Seattle
Children’s Orthopedic Hospital, if you don’t already have a preference?
Buzzcook