Subject: We've been stupid for too long

Hey America, we're number one! Let's hear it for us! Yeah! But consider what being number one really means. 
As far as I can tell for the last 8,000 years it has meant that whoever was number one on the planet didn't 
become number one by being voted into that position. They, like us, became numero uno by being the 
meanest, nastiest, evilest, sons-of-bitches that ever drew breath. So, Yippee! Eh? 

Trouble with being number one is every punk nation/city state on the planet out to make a reputation begins 
to send mindless aggression your way. So far our little west Taxus prairie monkey and his cabal have managed 
to alienate about two thirds of the planet; half of which now hate our guts, the remaining third (our NATO allies) 
are nervous, summer of 1938 in Europe nervous! 

As we celebrate three years of slaughtering children in Iraq and the total destruction of our economy due to the 
cost of the war; not to mention all of the better paying middle-class jobs being sent to our new friends in India. 
Now with Iran dumping dollars and selling it's oil in Euros will not the rest of Asia soon follow too? And when 
China calls in it's markers if you thought the 1930s were a bee-otch, well you ain't seen nothing yet folks. 
The reason that so far we aren't all in soup lines is our good friends the "Red" Chinese have been buying 
our IOUs to the tune of trillions of dollars, not to mention all the other countries that we owe big time thanks 
to our glorious fuhrer and his corpo-rat pals. 

For the past 5 years we have been going out of our way to piss off everybody on the planet and have pretty much 
succeeded with everyone but our partners in crime England and Israel and who knows maybe Canada as well? 
We can put a few battalions of Canadians to work bashing out brains in the Sunni triangle after they run out of 
baby seals and give our boys and girls a break from doing the same. They can take the place of the Japanese 
who are pulling out of Iraq to bring their Samurais home to train new legions of troops for the fun to come. 
I told you several times did I not; long before the war began, that before we were through with the Iraqis 
they'd be begging for Saddam to return. The latest poll out of the "cradle of civilization" shows around 70% 
would prefer Saddam over America. 

So much for the "Mission Accomplished," eh? Trouble is there is no end in sight, at least not for the Junta. 
Von Rumsfeld, Dead-eye Dick, Kindasleezy and Smirky have all crawled out from under their rocks to beat up 
a little support for the current and the new oil wars to come. Before we can conquer the world we have to 
control all the energy that we can, or as Bush puts it, "My preciousssss." 

Now consider that there is such a thing as being too stupid to live. A good example would be Pat Tillman! 
The trouble with killing all the "Lions & Tigers & Bears, Oh MY!" is that they used to eat all the dummies. 
Thinning the herd is a good thing because those morons never got to breed or found dynasties or even 
become Presidents. But fear not my friends, old mother nature abhors a vacuum even if it lies between 
two ears and we are just another stumble of foreign policy away from World War III, which at the current
rate might be coming to a city near you next year! 

This autumn's elections may be our last chance to save the world from another dark age. If we don't replace
the House and Senate Rethuglicans as well as the Dixiecrats with liberals that will Impeach the Chimp 
we are all headin' for the last roundup pardner, if you get my drift? Ergo... 

Starting next month we'll open a new department i.e. "Election 2006" which will be open through the election with 
info on the various races and which will be updated constantly. If you know a candidate we should support send us 
the info to: issues@issuesandalibis.org write "Election 2006" in the subject line and we'll help spread the word.