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Football Picks by Mike the Dealer

Sportsbooks are the land of the dumbest people on earth, honestly, you would find more intelligent conversation 
with people arguing over where in Kenya Obama was born. People walk up to their friends and lament that Brett Favre, 
the turnover machine, is being held back by the Vikings who are using Adrian Peterson too much. Peterson is course an 
unstoppable monster who kills insolent defenders when they dare get in his way. There was a great deal of celebrating when 
Donovan McNabb went down to injury, people were assured that Michael Vick would now save the Eagles.

A man asked me if "Everyone who could play QB for the Eagles went down, could Vick play week 2?" when I tried to explain 
that Vick had been suspended for the first two weeks and the NFL won't let him play no matter how many Eagles went down,
he didn't seem to want to hear it, he just wanted Vick back on the field.

I had bet on the 49'ers vs the Cardinals, I thought the Cards to be over-rated due to their fluke Super Bowl run, as the game 
moved towards it's finish, a man declared that the Cardinals, down 4, should kick a field goal, then go for an onsides kick, 
and kick another field goal to win. You have about a 10% chance of recovering an onsides kick when the other team knows
it's coming, so 90% of the time you're conceding the ball to your opponent. The fact that you're losing by 1 and giving up the ball 
didn't seem to affect him.

When the Cardinals went for it on 4th down and failed to convert, the man was livid "How can you throw it to the running back?! 
You have to throw to Fitzgerald there!" the fact that the Cardinals QB, Kurt Warner, was being driven to the ground by an on-charging 
49'ers defender, and in his last moments before hitting the turf, threw the ball to the nearest man he could, didn't matter, this man was 
outraged that Warner didn't throw it to Fitzgerald.

The 49'ers then did what any team who's winning in this spot should do, and that is run the ball three times up the gut, bleeding clock 
and forcing the the Cards to burn their final 2 time outs. The man, now seeing the 49'ers fail to come up with the game clinching 3rd down, 
went back to his orginal 'Field goal, onsides kick, field goal' plan. Again, conceding possession of the balll while losing with under 2 minutes 
left in the game is clearly a winning tactic.

I learned that going for 2 to make it a 6 point game, and thusly having the slim chance the other team might miss the extra point and then
go to overtime, is a conspiracy led by the NFL instead of sound tactics. I learned that the NFL still has it in for the Raiders. I learned that 
*everyone* is a fan of the Dallas Cowboys and that really messes with the betting lines. I learned every weekend somebody will lament 
that they hit 10 out of 11 on a parlay and were thisclose to being stinking rich, before team #11 failed them.

Besides all this, I'd like to announce the Mike the Dealer Handicapping Challenge. I don't have much of a prize to offer, except perhaps 
internet fame and glory here on Bartcop. Monday or Tuesday I'll post the contest lines on here, If you want to make picks, E-mail me at and make your 5 picks against the spread, and the next week on Monday or Tuesday I'll post the results 
and the new lines. Every Friday I'll list my picks, feel free to mail yours in anytime before kickoff on Sunday.

How does the spread work? 
It's what it looks like, if the Cowboys are -3 vs the Giants, that means that they start the game losing by 3. 
So if the final score of the real game is Cowboys 21, Giants 20, and you bet the Cowboys, you lose, 
because the Giants had a three point handicap and 'win' in our bet 23-21.

Have fun everyone and root against the Cowboys.
--Mike The Dealer. 

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