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Subject: Hilton - Stupidity, not Sac!

My god, your crush on Paris Hilton has gotten a little out of control.

"Crush" might not be accurate - I love Hillary so much more :)

The reason we all hate her is because she's famous simply because of her name (and for being a whore).

Gosh, thanks for being the first honest person to write.
Which other famous people with "names" bother you enough to write to me about?

Has she done even one productive thing in her life?

Have I?
Have you?
I produce a Tequila Treehouse - is that productivity?

She hasn't worked a damn day in her life,

Wild guess:
Ten movies 20 TV shows, 200 magazine covers, her Simple Life gig on the E! Network,
400 photoshoots, 1000 network and cable TV appearances,
a dozen non-nude photo layouts for men's magazines (no Playboy pics,
should we talk about what sluts  (I could name 30 of them) the rest of Hollywood is?

...she is incredibly stupid

Compared to the rest of America?
Did you hear that clip from last issue?

Most people in the United States can't name a country that begins with "U!"

Blame everything on Paris if you must, but you know that's not true.
Paris and Hillary are the most hated women on the planet - maybe I disagree with that.
If I lived in England, I might get tired of them calling Camilla a slut every day.
What did Camilla do to become the most hated woman in the UK? 
Fall in love with a widower?

(all that money and seemingly no education, just sad),
and if you honestly think that she didn't want those "camera-carrying jackals"
shooting her every move then your obviously delusional.

She handles the paparazzi better than any star on the planet.
Would you prefer she hire a bodyguard beat someone up?

Paris lives for the cameras, it's the only thing that keeps her famous,
which coincidently is the only thing she has to live for.

ha ha
Paris Hilton, the only person in Hollywood who lives for the cameras
Are you sure you're looking at this objectively?

I would be very surprised if she wasn't the one to release the sex tape herself.
I mean it's really what blew her up and put her into the spotlight.

Just kidding - because we're all friends here - but what if every man with an internet
connection had a 45-minute movie of you blowing a former boyfriend who betrayed you?

Would you want the entire country screaming, "stupid fag whore" at you?
Would you be OK with being the most hated person in America?
What if people wrote and said, "I think DB released that tape just to get famous?"

You'd be OK with that?
Or would you want some logical person to write, "That's not what the facts tell us?"

Actually to be honest all of this isn't even the reason I personally hate her, the thing that
bothers me most is that this spoiled little bitch decides to get in a car and drive after drinking
(and being that skinny I'm sure it doesn't take much) putting not only her own life at risk but the
lives of everyone else on the road when she could easily afford to be driven anywhere she pleases.

OK, I agree with you here.
Drunk driving is a damn serious crime.
Everybody reading this has a friend or relative who was busted for DUI, ...DWI.

So, we need to hate that person?
If they have money, we should double hate them?
If they're young and pretty we must triple hate them?

It's just plain disgusting, and as for having "the sac" to show up at the mtv movie awards, that's a joke.
The only reason she'd show up for it is as a farewell, a sort of "don't forget me while I'm in jail and
not able to release any sex tapes."

Now I'm sure you're speaking as an uninterested observer and therefore a completely fair judge.

Her crime was "sex tape release," and you're the judge who's here to pronounce sentence?
If you, Dickie Babcock, were to be taped masturbating in a hotel room by some nutbag pervert,
you then, for the rest of your life, with family and friends all watching on TV, would accept being
the "Don't forget me because I can't masturbate for you again," guy?


Lemme guess - after that tape of you masturbating was released and millions of people saw it,
you'd be at the MTV Awards so 15,000 people could laugh at you about getting put in a cage?

Funny - you and I see that situation differently.

Sidebar: Sarah Silverman is ten times hotter then Paris Hilton will ever be, no matter how she "stands"
and it's mainly because she actually has a brain that she puts to good use.

I'm cool with Sarah Silverman - I like her even if she's a lazy comic who stands like a linebacker.
I'm just saying we all live in glass houses.

Besides all this I still love ya Bart...
I just don't understand some of the battles you decide to fight...

Keep on hammerin'
- Dickie Babcock

First, we need to identify the battle we're fighting.
I don't think Paris Hilton should be killed or maimed for violating probation.

But I gotta say, of all the Paris haters, you've been the most honest about your reasons.

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